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1
00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:08,369
[Meredith] Number one rule of surgeryis limit exposure.
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00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:09,466
Good.
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Keep your hands clean,your incisions small
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00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,610
and your wounds covered.
5
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:20,414
l've removed the tumor
and placed the catheters.
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00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:24,184
Now, l'm going to flood the abdomen
with heated chemo.
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lt allows a greater concentration
of drugs to be delivered
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00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,920
directly to the affected area,
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and the heat helps target
the cancer cells
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00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:35,096
while leaving the normal cells
virtually unaffected.
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00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,659
OK, start perfusion.
12
00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:43,341
OK. We'll place him in Trendelenburg,
then reverse Trendelenburg
13
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:47,836
as we agitate the abdomen
to make sure that the chemo
14
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,782
really washes everywhere.
15
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:56,018
- OK, she saw me. Now l can go.
- She's just getting started.
16
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,751
l have a headache. l need coffee.
17
00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:04,123
l have a cure for a headache
that doesn't involve coffee.
18
00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:11,296
- l'm leaving. There's a seat there.
- Thanks.
19
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,236
OK. Ooh, yeah.
20
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,779
l've never seen
a hot chemo lavage before.
21
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:26,217
- lt's fascinating.
- l thought you were leaving.
22
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,720
The chief asked me
to finish out my contract,
23
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,349
which has a few more weeks.
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[Meredith] Number two rule of surgery
25
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:38,196
is when rule number one stops working,try something else.
26
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,789
What l said l didn't mean.
27
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:45,468
You mean offering to trade Owen
like a horse or a baseball card
28
00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:48,440
or a stale peanut butter sandwich
from your lunchbox.
29
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:49,499
lt was...
30
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,849
- lt was thoughtless.
- Fine.
31
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:01,743
Fine. Cristina,
let's just forget about it.
32
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:05,315
[Meredith] Because sometimes,you can't limit exposure.
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00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:08,987
Sometimes, the injury is so bad
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00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,690
you have to cut and cut big.
35
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:12,755
- No!
- Yes!
36
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,858
- No! lf you report him...
- He's an alcoholic!
37
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,165
lf you report him,
it'll be the end of his career!
38
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:20,661
You don't give people any room!
Flaws are unacceptable to McDreamy.
39
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:23,369
- Don't McDreamy me.
- McDreamy is being a McAss!
40
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:27,106
He's an alcoholic! How long has he
been drinking? Since the holidays?
41
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,377
You want to take notes
so you can show it to the board
42
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:32,907
so they can offer you his job? You want
his job. You know it, and l know it.
43
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,785
l'm the head of neurosurgery. l have
a responsibility to this hospital.
44
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:39,519
- Admit you want to be chief.
- l'm done having this argument.
45
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,993
l'm going to the board,
l'm reporting Richard.
46
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:44,121
Post-it!
47
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,464
- You can't call Post-it.
- l am calling Post-it.
48
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,958
Because l told my secret
about my friend to my husband,
49
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,802
not the head of neurosurgery.
My husband.
50
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,899
Which l have to be able to do.
51
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,410
So the laws of Post-it clearly prevail.
52
00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,741
- This is wrong.
- Post-it.
53
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,269
- The chief...
- Post-it!
54
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:06,344
Fine. l won't tell.
55
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,382
Fine.
56
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:13,583
Damn it, you just make me want to...
57
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,685
[moaning]
58
00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:21,123
[phone beeping]
59
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:30,533
lzzie's coming home.
l have to tell Alex.
60
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,645
l won't go to the board.
61
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:36,772
l won't say a word.
62
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,575
Just think about what l said.
63
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:42,986
OK.
64
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:50,555
- Alex, lzzie's coming...
- lzzie's coming?
65
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,462
- ...home.
- [Lexie] Crap!
66
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,595
lzzie leaves and Mark gets a kid,
67
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,535
and you two decide
the best way to deal
68
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,902
is to get drunk
and mash your genitals together?
69
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:03,033
No freaking way you get to judge us
or give relationship advice.
70
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,567
Besides, you were a total
dirty mistress, like, two weeks ago.
71
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:08,604
- Are we calling me a dirty mistress?
- That was two years ago.
72
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,741
And his wife didn't have cancer!
73
00:04:10,783 --> 00:04:13,809
Because l've only been with, like,
six guys in my whole life.
74
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:17,345
Alex and l, we've done it before.
l was recycling.
75
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,221
lt was like good for the environment.
76
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,523
lzzie's gone, l was horny,
she was there.
77
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,222
Crap! l am a dirty mistress.
78
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,494
Oh, God, you're gonna tell Derek and
Derek will tell Mark that l'm a whore!
79
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:29,968
No, l am not going to tell Derek,
and neither are you.
80
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:33,996
And you're not gonna say anything.
We are keeping our mouths shut.
81
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,134
lzzie is coming home.
No one needs to know.
82
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:39,570
[lzzie] Hi.
83
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,175
Know what?
84
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:47,175
[sirens wailing]
85
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,885
[door opening]
86
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:51,412
[Derek] There were no sterile supplies
in the OR last night.
87
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,220
- l heard.
- Surgery came to a complete stop
88
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,784
- for a full hour.
- Central Supply and Maintenance
89
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:58,353
are understaffed and the autoclaves
have been breaking down.
90
00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,457
Anything else?
91
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,629
Richard...
92
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,070
[exhales heavily]
93
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:10,040
- l want to help.
- l don't need your help, Derek.
94
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,577
The sterilizers
are up and running, so...
95
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:15,979
Not the hospital. You.
96
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,274
You stopped operating.
97
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:22,314
You're not teaching anybody
but Meredith.
98
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:25,582
l'm wondering if...
99
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,123
lf you need some help.
100
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,490
No shame in asking. You know that.
101
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:41,197
You can help.
102
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:48,004
By doing your own job.
And letting me do mine.
103
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,182
- Anything else?
- No.
104
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,017
l'm done.
105
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,827
[lzzie] So l went to the trailer.
106
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:07,424
- l don't live in the trailer anymore.
- Yeah.
107
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,166
So...
108
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,267
...Meredith called me
and told me you might be moving on.
109
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,777
- lz...
- OK, just... [sighs]
110
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:19,835
Just wait.
111
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:24,043
l realize now that l was wrong
to blame you for getting fired.
112
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:28,778
- l'm sorry. lt wasn't your fault.
- l don't wanna have some big talk.
113
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,345
l gotta go to work.
114
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:37,655
l have a PET scan later,
so maybe l'll see you at the hospital?
115
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,062
- ls everything OK?
- Yeah.
116
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:42,556
l found some residencies
with open spots and applied.
117
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,968
They all just want
to make sure l'm stable.
118
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,100
One of them is close.
119
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,406
lt's in Tacoma, so...
120
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,275
...we'd be OK.
121
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:55,678
l could commute from here, and...
122
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:59,083
l know you don't want
to have some big talk, but...
123
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:02,087
l have to get to the hospital.
That place really sucks these days.
124
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:04,783
You should be happy
you don't work there anymore.
125
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,257
Hmm.
126
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,590
- Sorry.
- Don't be.
127
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,792
l am happy. l'm gonna work in Tacoma,
and it's gonna be awesome.
128
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:14,732
You're gonna be jealous.
129
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:21,839
- You're operating?
- l am.
130
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,341
A Whipple? That's big.
131
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:27,642
l say go big... or go home.
132
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:34,747
Uh... Excuse me, sir?
You're taking Dr. Bailey's Whipple?
133
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,687
- ls that a problem?
- No, not at all.
134
00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:40,749
No, l'm the resident on the case.
l'm thrilled to be assisting you.
135
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,921
- l will be assisting you, right?
- You can open.
136
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,057
That way Dr. Grey will be fresh
when she dissects the neck
137
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:49,260
of the pancreas from the portal vein.
138
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,897
- That's the hardest part.
- lt's a fifth-year procedure.
139
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:56,306
lt's what we've been practicing.
And l'm telling you, you're ready.
140
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:58,936
But if you don't think you're ready...
141
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,843
No, l'm ready. l'm ready.
142
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:04,650
[man vocalizing loudly]
143
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,744
- What's going on?
- Hunt's got an MVC in here.
144
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,220
- Use a hand?
- What?
145
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,725
- Can l help?
- You know what you can do first?
146
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:15,659
Make that stop!
147
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:18,255
[vocalizing gets louder]
148
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,165
Dude, stop singing!
149
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:26,399
l'm trying to get you to understand
the seriousness of the problem.
150
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,737
l've lost my upper register completely.
151
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,834
Dr. Karev,
this is Mr. Mafrici, your consult.
152
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:35,871
l just need some antibiotics.
l open in Tosca in a week.
153
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:39,476
- And he gave me bronchitis.
- l did not give this to you.
154
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,645
[Alex] Take a deep breath.
155
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:44,186
He teaches piano to children.
156
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:46,316
l can hear them hacking away
during their lessons,
157
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,384
and then he comes in the house
and touches things.
158
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:51,294
Stop talking. He's got decreased
breath sounds on the left side.
159
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,820
- He needs an X-ray.
- Can you take him?
160
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,390
Page an intern. l don't have time.
161
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,831
Hunt took him up.
Said thanks for your help.
162
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,476
You got time now?
163
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,977
[man vocalizing]
164
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,623
- You're hot.
- You're hot, too.
165
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:25,290
No, you're ''hot'' hot.
166
00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:26,889
Oh, OK. Thanks.
167
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:30,699
No, you have a fever.
You have a fever.
168
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,567
- What is that?
- What?
169
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,334
- Oh, my God!
- What?
170
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:38,639
- Pox! Pox! You have chicken pox!
- [gasps]
171
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:45,443
Teddy. Turns out she loves Owen
172
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:49,147
and thought she came here to be all, you
know, Teddy and Owen, but there's me,
173
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:53,181
and now she's pained and threatening to
leave, so l told her she could have him.
174
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,125
- What?
- She's an amazing teacher.
175
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,324
And l'm happy again.
And l'm in the OR,
176
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:01,458
and l'm feeling like myself.
And, of course, l didn't mean it.
177
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,297
l mean, l love Owen. l love him.
178
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,032
But that means l don't get
to have her. So...
179
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:08,364
Maybe l meant it?
180
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,806
OK, here's the thing.
You can't talk like this.
181
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:15,109
- lt's like, l get you.
- Yeah.
182
00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:18,082
But other people don't.
So you can't talk like this.
183
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,483
l mean, it's crazy. lt's like...
184
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,851
...if you tell someone
their baby is ugly.
185
00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:26,415
They know it, you know it. Everybody
knows it. But you don't talk about it.
186
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:29,223
OK, but you're saying surgery, right?
187
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,525
Gun to your head,
you'd choose surgery over Derek.
188
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:35,557
l'm saying don't talk about this.
And don't talk about it to Owen.
189
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:44,374
Little Grey? That's the world-class
specialist you wanted me to see?
190
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,844
OK, Little Grey has had
the chicken pox vaccine.
191
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:50,042
l snooped in your personnel file.
l, on the other hand, have not.
192
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,642
- Nor have l ever had them as a child.
- You're a pediatrician.
193
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,880
- How have you never had...?
- l am a pediatric surgeon.
194
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,581
l don't do little diseases
on little people.
195
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,988
l do big surgeries on little people.
196
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:01,653
You know what?
This is ridiculous. l'm going home.
197
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:02,786
Hey, hey, hey!
198
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,525
You're not going anywhere.
You're highly contagious right now.
199
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:09,261
You leave this room and you'll
touch doorknobs, elevator buttons.
200
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,098
Then you'll be the outbreak monkey.
201
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:14,868
- l'm going to kill you.
- l love you.
202
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:17,569
Stop scratching.
You're just gonna make it worse.
203
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,202
And then you're gonna scar.
204
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,943
[lzzie] l gotta get my hands
in a body again, Mer.
205
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,976
l think l'm gonna get
an offer from Oregon,
206
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,783
but l can't take it. lt's too far.
l can't do that to Alex.
207
00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:31,619
l gotta get this Tacoma thing.
208
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:35,184
You know what would help? A call from
Derek Shepherd, head of neurosurgery.
209
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,357
- Hey.
- Hi. Talk to him.
210
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,730
- Talk to me about what?
- She's up for a job in Tacoma.
211
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,463
- She wants you to call.
- Tacoma isn't ranked in the top 20.
212
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:47,199
Yeah, but it's close.
She can repair things with Alex.
213
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:50,072
Fine. Have her get me the number.
l read the board.
214
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,907
The chief is doing a Whipple,
and you're scrubbing in.
215
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,881
Well, you can stop worrying. He's fine.
216
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:59,544
He hasn't operated in months,
and his first surgery back
217
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:03,885
is a seven-hour procedure
with a 20 percent complication rate.
218
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:07,487
First, you were worried
that he wasn't operating.
219
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:11,360
- Now, you're pissed that he is...?
- l don't trust him anymore.
220
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,225
- Meredith?
- Post-it.
221
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:29,141
He's fine. He's fine.
222
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:32,116
l thought it was infection.
Right? Like pneumonia?
223
00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:34,949
- That's one of the possibilities.
- What are the others?
224
00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:36,249
Fluid could also indicate...
225
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:40,122
Yang. Karev made the diagnosis.
Let him talk.
226
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:45,962
Heart failure and cancer could also
cause this much fluid to occur.
227
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,933
Cancer?
Would you have to remove my lung?
228
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,266
Aaron, he just said cancer
is only a possibility.
229
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:56,673
- l sing. lt's my entire life.
- Besides me.
230
00:12:56,709 --> 00:13:01,476
What you meant to say was that singing
was your entire life, besides me.
231
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:08,050
You heard the chief is operating today?
232
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:09,452
Uh-huh.
233
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:13,822
Took my Whipple
and is having Meredith Grey
234
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,918
do the pancreatic dissection.
235
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:20,022
A procedure that l performed
for the first time just last year.
236
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,167
The chief's judgment...
237
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:30,242
...is not clear and rational.
238
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:35,205
- Miranda, there's nothing l can do.
- You're the only one who can.
239
00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:44,314
l performed intraperitoneal
hyperthermic chemo this morning.
240
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:48,526
And l kept looking up into the gallery
to see if the chief was there.
241
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:52,296
That was a big deal for me.
242
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:55,164
Anyway, he wasn't there.
243
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,965
And l don't know why
l thought he would show
244
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,437
because the truth is...
245
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,708
...he's gone.
246
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,811
And he's been gone a long time.
247
00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:30,427
Arizona thought some work might
take your mind off your itching.
248
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,799
Scratching will
take my mind off itching.
249
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,664
Take off my gauze paws.
250
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,234
She said that you'd say that
and that l should say no.
251
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:43,605
So how about we start with the tibial
plateau fracture, room 2240?
252
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,674
Hey, hey.
253
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:48,449
l'm an attending, you're a resident.
254
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:51,684
As your superior,
l'm ordering you to take them off!
255
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:55,886
She said you'd say that too.
Technically, l'm on her service today,
256
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,623
so she's my boss, not you.
257
00:14:57,663 --> 00:15:01,064
We have the Lisfranc fracture,
room 221 1 .
258
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:04,297
Please, let me scratch!
Just for five minutes.
259
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:05,803
- lt'll scar.
- l don't care!
260
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,136
l don't care. Scars are hot.
261
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:10,607
Scars are bad-ass. Scars are poetic.
262
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,442
- l am begging you, Little Grey.
- No.
263
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:16,414
- Please don't call me Little Grey.
- l'm in pain!
264
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:20,179
Down to the core of my being pain,
l'm going crazy pain,
265
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:23,313
scary, ''will this ever go away'' pain.
266
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:27,121
Do you get that? Do you know
what l mean when l say that?
267
00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:32,324
Because this pain is need
to scratch an itch that l can't scratch!
268
00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:35,993
The pain of a thousand itches!
And it's making me crazy!
269
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:39,129
Not funny crazy, bad crazy!
OK? Dark crazy.
270
00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:41,435
Make a suit out of
someone else's skin crazy. OK?
271
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:45,000
- Pain, Little Grey. Pain!
- l had sex with Alex!
272
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:49,606
l had sex with Alex.
Which l regret. Completely.
273
00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:52,116
Because l'm in love with Mark. l think.
274
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:55,177
But l'm scared that l can't handle
the daughter and the baby and the Mark's
275
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:58,815
- gonna be a grandpa thing.
- Why are you telling me this?
276
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,189
l'm in pain, too, is what l'm saying.
277
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,425
l get your pain, don't you see that?
278
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,430
l do feel your pain because
l'm in pain too.
279
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,227
l have pox between my butt cheeks.
280
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:14,034
Your ''pain'' does not
begin to compare to mine.
281
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,640
Get out! Just out!
282
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,438
Out, out, out, out, out!
283
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,473
- What are you talking about?
- She's on this thing.
284
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:24,414
lf you had to choose
between the thing you love, surgery,
285
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,645
and the person you love,
which would you choose?
286
00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:29,882
You would choose lzzie, right?
Because you're gonna get back together.
287
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,253
- Shut up.
- Why do you have to choose?
288
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:34,123
Doesn't matter. You just do.
Which is it, surgery or love?
289
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,649
- l want both.
- That's what l said.
290
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:37,889
- You can't have both.
- Why the hell not?
291
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,330
- Why the hell is he here?
- l said he could be in here
292
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,334
- because he's in the Whipple, too.
- [Cristina] Whatever.
293
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:45,599
Once again, you cannot have both.
You have to choose.
294
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:47,070
[lzzie] Choose what?
295
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:56,039
My... My PET scan
got pushed back an hour.
296
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,572
So l thought l'd join you for lunch.
297
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:03,520
OK? That. You have to give up that.
298
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:07,218
Learning the procedure,
tuning out the world until you get it,
299
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:10,353
like, you know, doing the procedure
is the only thing that matters.
300
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,229
lf you don't get to do it, you'll die.
That's what you have to give up.
301
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:16,530
- For what?
- Love.
302
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:18,399
- Why?
- That's what l said.
303
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,871
That's not the point!
You know you couldn't do it.
304
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:23,374
- You know you'd choose a procedure.
- Fine, if l had to choose,
305
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,434
gun to my head, l would choose surgery.
306
00:17:25,477 --> 00:17:28,310
OK, well, thank you!
ls that so hard to say?
307
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:30,281
l don't know why is it so bad
to say that out loud.
308
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:31,509
Because it's crazy.
309
00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:34,913
- [Cristina] How...?
- lt's crazy.
310
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:37,615
Surgery, it's just a job.
311
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:40,420
lt's just a job.
lt's the thing you come home from,
312
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:44,452
not the thing you come home to. And if
you lose your job, you get another one.
313
00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:47,556
'Cause there's
always another one. But...
314
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,794
...if you lose your love...
315
00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:52,932
...if you think you're
losing your love...
316
00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:56,202
...then suddenly nothing else matters.
317
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,311
This is what you guys talk about
during lunch?
318
00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:04,042
l'm with them.
319
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,449
Love comes and goes.
320
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,515
Surgery doesn't.
321
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,119
[pagers beeping]
322
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:16,858
Results are back.
323
00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:24,727
You choose love.
324
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:28,433
Yes! l just did a perfect dissection
without lacerating the portal vein.
325
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,874
You gonna do that
little fist pump in surgery too?
326
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,839
The tests showed
a malignancy on your left lung.
327
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:40,340
lt's called pleural mesothelioma,
and it's a cancer that surrounds
328
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:42,285
- the lining of your lung.
- So what?
329
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,721
- You cut out his lung?
- Best case scenario,
330
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:47,281
we won't have to remove
any lung tissue except the tumor.
331
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:50,159
- Aaron, did you hear that? That's good.
- Jeffrey, l'm not deaf.
332
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,561
What's the worst case scenario?
333
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:56,432
We get in there and the damage is too
extensive and we have to remove more.
334
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:59,403
- My whole lung?
- That's the worst case scenario.
335
00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:02,305
But yes, it is a possibility.
336
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:05,105
But it's also possible
they won't have to remove any.
337
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,704
- OK? So let's stay positive.
- Will you please shut up?
338
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:11,682
l can't take your cheerful little voice
shoving positive thinking down my throat
339
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,617
when my life is basically over.
340
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,286
People do recover from things like this
and then they go on to...
341
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,520
- What? Go on to what?
- Live.
342
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,620
l won't have a lung. l'm a singer.
343
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:26,758
So you see my problem?
344
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:29,699
- You can direct, you can teach.
- Like you?
345
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:33,668
l'd rather die than spend two hours
every day listening
346
00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:36,833
to mediocre music majors
doing their scales.
347
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:40,311
l know that this is a lot to take in,
and if you need time to talk
348
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:43,246
- or get a second opinion...
- l want my lung.
349
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,043
Dr. Altman.
350
00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:53,052
l'm big, too big.
351
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:56,424
l don't fit in airplane seats,
and as Jeff is always telling me,
352
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:59,259
my feelings don't always
fit the situation.
353
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,389
lf my food is overcooked
in a restaurant,
354
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:07,201
l get enraged.
l want to kill the waiter.
355
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:10,998
But l don't.
l politely ask him to take my meal back
356
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,908
and bring it to me
the way l asked for it.
357
00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:19,609
l spend my days making myself
smaller, more acceptable.
358
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,154
And that's OK because at night,
359
00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:26,385
when l go onstage,
l get to experience the world
360
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:27,517
the way l feel it.
361
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:33,727
With indescribable rage
and unbearable sadness
362
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:35,289
and huge passion.
363
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,797
At night, onstage,
364
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:41,806
l get to kill the waiter
and dance on his grave.
365
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:48,239
And if l can't do that,
if all l have left
366
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,908
is a life of making myself smaller...
367
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:53,912
...then l don't want to live.
368
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:57,213
l don't.
369
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:02,326
And believe me, honey,
you don't want me to live.
370
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,873
[indistinct chatter over PA]
371
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:26,315
Are you stealing sterile supplies?
372
00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:31,118
l need sterile instruments. l'm not
gonna get caught with my pants down
373
00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:33,647
because this hospital can't get...
374
00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:35,852
l get it.
375
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,423
l wanna do something.
376
00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:43,933
Something that l think is...
377
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:50,135
l have a responsibility, but l just...
378
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:52,336
- What's stopping you?
- Meredith.
379
00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:54,174
Ah!
380
00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:57,943
- The other half of the twisted sisters.
- What you call Meredith and Cristina?
381
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,577
- The twisted sisters?
- Yeah.
382
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:03,112
Well, that fits.
383
00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:10,825
So this... this thing...
384
00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:16,360
l could come out of it looking...
385
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:18,861
...pretty bad.
386
00:22:19,771 --> 00:22:23,263
Like l did it for the wrong reasons.
Like l did it...
387
00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:24,969
...for myself.
388
00:22:29,314 --> 00:22:31,441
ln my experience,
nobody goes into a battle
389
00:22:31,483 --> 00:22:33,644
because they want to win a Purple Heart.
390
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:36,483
You do the right thing,
and sometimes that gets you a medal.
391
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:39,547
Sometimes, it gets you killed.
392
00:22:39,591 --> 00:22:41,889
How do you know it's the right thing?
393
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:45,124
When it's the best thing
for the most people.
394
00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:48,894
The thing that keeps
the most people alive.
395
00:22:52,971 --> 00:22:56,532
- [machine humming]
- [sighs] How you doing?
396
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:58,440
[lzzie] A little claustrophobic.
397
00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:00,911
Focus on your breathing,
that always helps.
398
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,584
Alex, l have to know.
399
00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:13,985
When Mer called,
she said you were moving on. Have you?
400
00:23:14,025 --> 00:23:15,458
Moved on?
401
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:21,298
l slept with someone.
402
00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:25,600
Damn it, Alex.
403
00:23:27,606 --> 00:23:29,369
We'll get through it.
404
00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:36,943
- Are you still there?
- l'm right here.
405
00:23:36,982 --> 00:23:39,780
Can you hold my hand or something
so l know you haven't left?
406
00:23:39,818 --> 00:23:41,945
l can't reach your hand.
407
00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:46,822
- Oh, yeah.
- l can hold your foot.
408
00:23:48,226 --> 00:23:49,625
A foot is good.
409
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,496
[lzzie laughs]
410
00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:01,361
[door opening]
411
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:06,005
Look, Derek, l'm busy.
l have a surgery in less than an hour.
412
00:24:29,868 --> 00:24:33,531
[opening the bottle, pouring]
413
00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:44,438
You want me to drink that?
414
00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:47,284
No.
415
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:53,482
But l believe you will.
l'm gonna go, and you're gonna drink it.
416
00:24:53,525 --> 00:24:58,155
You're gonna try not to.
But, in the end, you'll drink it.
417
00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:04,658
l also believe that this
418
00:25:04,703 --> 00:25:06,898
won't be the first drink
you drank today.
419
00:25:23,421 --> 00:25:25,855
[machine beeping]
420
00:25:25,891 --> 00:25:28,917
This tumor is huge.
l've never seen pleura this thick.
421
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,121
- [Alex] Like a watermelon rind.
- [Teddy] Damn it.
422
00:25:31,162 --> 00:25:34,393
l'm gonna have to get rid of the lung,
the diaphragm and pericardium
423
00:25:34,432 --> 00:25:38,300
with this tumor. Yeah.
That's what l need to do.
424
00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:42,067
That's what's advisable
for optimal survival.
425
00:25:45,410 --> 00:25:48,846
But that's not what we're gonna do.
We're going to remove the visible tumor
426
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,075
and we are going to treat the lung
427
00:25:51,116 --> 00:25:53,949
with intrapleural
hyperthermic chemotherapy.
428
00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:56,920
Karev, find out what Bailey used
in the procedure this morning
429
00:25:56,955 --> 00:26:00,322
and gather everything l need.
Yang, help me remove this tumor.
430
00:26:00,358 --> 00:26:03,555
This morning, Bailey said
hot chemo lavage was only indicated
431
00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:05,995
- in abdominal surgery.
- Sugarman at the Brigham
432
00:26:06,031 --> 00:26:10,092
has been researching its applications
as it applies to pleural mesothelioma.
433
00:26:10,135 --> 00:26:14,071
And he's a singer.
And he needs his lung.
434
00:26:23,648 --> 00:26:25,980
You look like hell.
435
00:26:26,017 --> 00:26:29,043
Chicken pox. Stay back, l'm contagious.
436
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,952
l had them when l was six.
437
00:26:33,491 --> 00:26:35,254
What...?
438
00:26:35,293 --> 00:26:37,659
- [grunting]
- Aah...
439
00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:42,656
Ow... [moans] How was LA?
440
00:26:42,701 --> 00:26:45,864
Addison nicked one
of the uterine arteries,
441
00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:47,166
but she was able to fix it.
442
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:52,308
Sloan's OK and the baby's
gonna be OK, too.
443
00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,743
Good.
444
00:26:55,981 --> 00:26:58,950
l slept with Addison.
445
00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:01,817
- l gotta tell Lexie, right?
- No.
446
00:27:01,853 --> 00:27:03,753
lt's Lexie. She's so good.
447
00:27:03,788 --> 00:27:06,279
- How do you lie to a girl like that?
- Lie.
448
00:27:06,324 --> 00:27:07,348
- Really?
- Really.
449
00:27:07,392 --> 00:27:08,984
- Really?
- Yeah.
450
00:27:10,829 --> 00:27:12,592
[moaning] l hurt.
451
00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:20,767
- l got you covered, kid.
- [laughing] What are you doing?
452
00:27:21,406 --> 00:27:23,374
l'm gonna help you.
453
00:27:26,411 --> 00:27:29,244
Oh, my... Oh, my.
454
00:27:30,548 --> 00:27:32,675
- That's amazing!
- No scar.
455
00:27:32,717 --> 00:27:33,809
No, keep going.
456
00:27:33,852 --> 00:27:37,549
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
457
00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:40,753
You saved the lung? The whole lung?
458
00:27:40,792 --> 00:27:45,752
- Yes.
- OK. Well, now what?
459
00:27:45,797 --> 00:27:49,358
Now, the work really begins.
This is gonna be a long recovery.
460
00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:51,335
But he should be fine.
461
00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:56,271
Does it make me awful to say
that l'm just slightly disappointed?
462
00:27:57,042 --> 00:28:00,603
l guess l was sitting out here thinking,
now he's gonna be like the rest of us,
463
00:28:00,645 --> 00:28:03,546
who teach and direct
464
00:28:03,581 --> 00:28:06,982
and do all the things
he finds so demeaning.
465
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:10,177
You know what's demeaning?
466
00:28:10,221 --> 00:28:15,158
Loving a man, taking care of him,
doing his shopping, making his meals,
467
00:28:15,193 --> 00:28:17,252
making sure his humidifiers are clean,
468
00:28:17,295 --> 00:28:20,093
'cause God forbid
his humidifiers aren't clean.
469
00:28:21,599 --> 00:28:25,262
What's demeaning is loving a man...
470
00:28:26,237 --> 00:28:28,797
...who thinks so little of you.
471
00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:36,509
He's got an army of nurses, so if
you wanna walk out of here, you can.
472
00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:38,812
We'll take care of him. You can go.
473
00:28:43,688 --> 00:28:44,950
l love him.
474
00:28:49,260 --> 00:28:52,957
- You should hear him sing.
- Nobody sings that well.
475
00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:55,192
He does.
476
00:29:01,473 --> 00:29:04,442
See that stitch there? You just
made the dude diabetic for life.
477
00:29:04,476 --> 00:29:08,003
OK. Shut up. l'm trying to concentrate
until the chief gets here.
478
00:29:10,982 --> 00:29:12,745
Dr. Webber apologizes.
479
00:29:12,784 --> 00:29:16,880
He got caught up in some sort of
administrative something.
480
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:20,186
- So let's dig in. Patient ready?
- Yeah. We are all prepped and ready.
481
00:29:20,225 --> 00:29:22,284
- Just waiting on you.
- Dr. Grey, care to open?
482
00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:24,659
Actually,
l was gonna open, Dr. Bailey.
483
00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:27,164
OK. Sure.
484
00:29:27,198 --> 00:29:30,224
Dr. Webber was going to let me do
the pancreatic neck dissection.
485
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:33,169
- So l've prepped...
- l don't believe you're ready for that.
486
00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:37,370
l'll be doing it.
You're welcome to observe.
487
00:29:39,244 --> 00:29:41,974
- Go ahead.
- [Jackson] Ten blade.
488
00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:48,815
Sorry you didn't get a chance
to do the procedure.
489
00:29:48,853 --> 00:29:51,583
- Something came up, it happens.
- Not surprised about Richard, though.
490
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:54,183
You're not a dumb person,
but right now you're acting like one.
491
00:29:54,225 --> 00:29:56,193
l am not going to turn him in.
492
00:29:57,695 --> 00:29:58,957
Tacoma passed on lzzie.
493
00:29:59,931 --> 00:30:03,423
l did my best. Just too much history.
Too many red flags.
494
00:30:05,069 --> 00:30:07,401
lf l went to the board,
they'd make me chief.
495
00:30:07,438 --> 00:30:09,372
First thing l'd do is hire Stevens back.
496
00:30:12,710 --> 00:30:14,610
lt's your choice. lt's up to you.
497
00:30:29,093 --> 00:30:30,890
[Arizona] That should be me.
498
00:30:30,929 --> 00:30:34,797
Don't be jealous. They're just friends.
Best friends.
499
00:30:38,036 --> 00:30:42,063
l had the chicken pox.
l told her l hadn't because...
500
00:30:44,275 --> 00:30:45,902
l find her miraculous.
501
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,904
Breathtakingly stunning.
502
00:30:49,581 --> 00:30:51,446
Just...
503
00:30:52,217 --> 00:30:53,980
l can't stop looking at her.
504
00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:59,581
And l was afraid with the ooze
and the fevers and the scratching...
505
00:30:59,624 --> 00:31:01,819
l wanted to stay
in the sexy part of things,
506
00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:04,522
so l lied to my girlfriend.
507
00:31:04,562 --> 00:31:05,654
And now...
508
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,635
- ...he makes scratching look sexy.
- Mmm.
509
00:31:12,971 --> 00:31:15,462
He makes everything look sexy.
510
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:25,080
So you get it.
511
00:31:25,116 --> 00:31:27,710
You didn't have to do that, but you did.
512
00:31:27,752 --> 00:31:29,686
- You get it.
- What are you talking about?
513
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,315
l'd choose surgery over a guy.
514
00:31:32,357 --> 00:31:34,917
l'm not gonna apologize for it.
Especially to you.
515
00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:38,019
Didn't have to save his lung. The right
thing would have been to remove it.
516
00:31:38,062 --> 00:31:41,691
But the patient was clear that he
didn't want to live without his gift.
517
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:43,894
And you get that.
518
00:31:44,702 --> 00:31:46,067
l choose my gift.
519
00:31:47,138 --> 00:31:50,198
l want to be great.
And l want to learn from you.
520
00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:52,969
l choose my gift.
521
00:31:59,651 --> 00:32:01,585
Hey, how'd your surgery go?
522
00:32:01,619 --> 00:32:03,814
- Great.
- See? And you were all worried.
523
00:32:03,855 --> 00:32:06,380
You're a rock star.
Speaking of which, do you know
524
00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:10,190
- if Derek has talked to Tacoma yet?
- No, l don't.
525
00:32:11,095 --> 00:32:14,292
OK. Good. 'Cause l just got
my scans back and they're really good.
526
00:32:14,332 --> 00:32:17,893
So it would be great if he could mention
that l'm officially not dying of cancer
527
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:21,633
when he talks to them.
l'm gonna get this job, Mer.
528
00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:25,939
l'm gonna get this job and get Alex back
and be myself again. l can feel it.
529
00:32:25,977 --> 00:32:29,538
OK, l'm gonna go get Derek and show
my scans before he calls Tacoma.
530
00:32:29,580 --> 00:32:34,813
OK. You know, l'll go tell him.
Derek. And you go tell Alex.
531
00:32:34,852 --> 00:32:36,410
OK.
532
00:32:45,363 --> 00:32:47,797
OK, fine. You can go to the board.
533
00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:50,633
Just...
534
00:32:58,509 --> 00:33:00,909
[sirens wailing]
535
00:33:01,746 --> 00:33:04,510
Sorry. Car crash came in.
l got here as soon as l could.
536
00:33:04,549 --> 00:33:07,143
That's OK.
lt gave me time to get drunk.
537
00:33:07,685 --> 00:33:10,779
- So, what's the occasion?
- l thought Beth was an idiot.
538
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:13,552
- lf we're being honest here.
- l didn't know that we are.
539
00:33:13,591 --> 00:33:17,288
Maybe not an idiot,
but just not good enough for you.
540
00:33:17,328 --> 00:33:20,661
- So how long you been here?
- You know, l'm sure
541
00:33:20,698 --> 00:33:22,689
- that it wasn't easy for her.
- Teddy.
542
00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:24,292
But do you know
what she said to me once?
543
00:33:24,335 --> 00:33:27,668
She said that once you guys
were married, she was done.
544
00:33:27,705 --> 00:33:29,536
She was done teaching,
545
00:33:29,574 --> 00:33:32,008
and she was just
gonna start making babies.
546
00:33:32,043 --> 00:33:35,444
And l remember thinking to myself,
''Wow, does Owen know
547
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,414
you have, like, zero ambition?''
548
00:33:37,448 --> 00:33:41,976
Then there's Cristina, there's Cristina,
who is exactly the opposite.
549
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:45,649
l mean, it'd actually be funny
if it wasn't so... just...
550
00:33:46,624 --> 00:33:50,958
...not funny. l mean, l get it.
551
00:33:50,995 --> 00:33:55,898
She... she is beautiful
and talented and kind of amazing.
552
00:33:55,933 --> 00:33:58,094
- She's right. l get her.
- l'm calling you a cab.
553
00:33:58,136 --> 00:34:01,469
l get her,
but she was willing to trade you.
554
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:04,201
For me.
555
00:34:05,143 --> 00:34:08,909
lf l stayed, she said l could have you.
556
00:34:22,427 --> 00:34:25,089
- How was your surgery?
- lt was good.
557
00:34:25,129 --> 00:34:27,563
lt was... it was fine. lt was...
558
00:34:28,299 --> 00:34:29,960
You want to see?
559
00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:41,443
l'm so... l'm so glad!
560
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,038
l'm so glad.
561
00:34:45,283 --> 00:34:48,684
- lt's like it never happened.
- Yeah. But it did.
562
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:50,710
lt all happened, lz.
563
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,349
You got cancer and we got married.
564
00:34:53,391 --> 00:34:57,054
And you died and you lived again.
And you...
565
00:34:57,095 --> 00:35:00,553
You left and you came back.
And we got through it.
566
00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:05,629
l got through it.
And l'm on the other side.
567
00:35:06,237 --> 00:35:09,570
lz, l love you so much.
568
00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:11,302
And l...
569
00:35:11,342 --> 00:35:13,105
Until l met you,
570
00:35:13,144 --> 00:35:16,307
l used to think
l just wasn't a good guy.
571
00:35:17,615 --> 00:35:21,016
Growing up in my family,
that's what they told me.
572
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,617
But now,
573
00:35:23,654 --> 00:35:26,919
after all of it,
l know that l'm a good man.
574
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,949
And l thank you for that.
575
00:35:30,194 --> 00:35:33,925
Because l know now that
l'm good enough not to deserve this.
576
00:35:36,868 --> 00:35:39,462
Not to have to feel like this.
577
00:35:40,638 --> 00:35:44,199
Not to love you so much
that l almost hate you.
578
00:35:46,577 --> 00:35:49,603
l deserve someone who will stay.
579
00:35:51,716 --> 00:35:53,877
l'm happy you're OK.
580
00:35:55,019 --> 00:35:56,782
And l'm happy about your job.
581
00:35:58,789 --> 00:36:00,780
And l want you to go.
582
00:36:03,361 --> 00:36:06,626
And be happy. And not come back.
583
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,509
[snoring]
584
00:36:28,619 --> 00:36:30,086
[moaning]
585
00:36:33,824 --> 00:36:35,724
Meredith?
586
00:36:47,505 --> 00:36:51,066
- [sighs]
- l'm sorry about the surgery.
587
00:36:51,108 --> 00:36:55,238
- l got caught up with paperwork.
- You don't have to apologize.
588
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,909
You don't have to apologize
for anything.
589
00:37:03,454 --> 00:37:05,922
[Meredith] In surgery...
590
00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:08,687
...the healing processbegins with a cut...
591
00:37:11,662 --> 00:37:13,220
...an incision...
592
00:37:15,566 --> 00:37:17,864
...the tearing of flesh.
593
00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:23,897
Where have you been?
You just disappeared.
594
00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:28,310
l left you, like, ten messages.
595
00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:29,836
Are you drunk?
596
00:37:33,985 --> 00:37:37,785
- Wait. What? What? What?
- You make me sad.
597
00:37:39,690 --> 00:37:42,181
You think that a surgery
is gonna make you feel.
598
00:37:42,226 --> 00:37:45,627
You think a successful career
is gonna be make you happy.
599
00:37:45,663 --> 00:37:48,996
You think you know things. You know
things and nothing else matters.
600
00:37:49,033 --> 00:37:51,797
No one else matters.
People do matter. l matter.
601
00:37:51,836 --> 00:37:53,360
We...
602
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:56,698
We matter.
603
00:38:03,714 --> 00:38:06,080
So you don't get to toss me aside.
604
00:38:07,318 --> 00:38:08,580
l won't let you.
605
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:12,621
[Meredith] We have to damagethe healthy flesh...
606
00:38:18,696 --> 00:38:20,721
...in order to expose the unhealthy.
607
00:38:30,741 --> 00:38:32,174
It feels cruel.
608
00:38:33,277 --> 00:38:34,835
Hey.
609
00:38:35,813 --> 00:38:37,075
Hey.
610
00:38:37,114 --> 00:38:38,342
Uh...
611
00:38:38,382 --> 00:38:41,442
- How did Sloan's surgery go?
- l slept with Addison.
612
00:38:44,288 --> 00:38:47,985
Thank God. 'Cause l slept with Alex.
613
00:38:48,025 --> 00:38:49,458
l was feeling so...
614
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:51,586
Well, you know how l was feeling.
615
00:38:51,629 --> 00:38:54,462
Which is why this is great. We're even.
616
00:38:54,498 --> 00:38:57,592
We've kind of canceled each other out.
617
00:38:59,704 --> 00:39:03,162
- You slept with Karev?
- Yeah.
618
00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:06,838
While l was dealing
with my sick daughter?
619
00:39:06,877 --> 00:39:09,141
While l was hurting?
620
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:13,913
Well, you weren't hurting.
You were sleeping with Addison.
621
00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:17,512
You broke up with me. Left me.
622
00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:22,749
And you just... Wow.
623
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:25,655
I...
624
00:39:27,732 --> 00:39:30,098
l can't even look at you right now.
625
00:39:32,269 --> 00:39:34,328
[Meredith] And against common sense.
626
00:39:37,408 --> 00:39:40,275
[Meredith] Do you know what it took
for me to make this happen?
627
00:39:40,311 --> 00:39:42,211
Please tell Derek l'm really sorry.
628
00:39:42,246 --> 00:39:45,682
This isn't about Derek.
lt's about me. lt's about us.
629
00:39:45,716 --> 00:39:49,709
You don't just walk away from people.
You don't just throw people away.
630
00:39:49,754 --> 00:39:53,190
l can't, Meredith, OK?
l can't be here! Please!
631
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:56,682
Please try to understand.
l have to start over.
632
00:39:56,727 --> 00:39:58,820
l need to start over. OK?
633
00:40:14,845 --> 00:40:16,335
Please don't go.
634
00:40:19,150 --> 00:40:22,745
- This is your home.
- No, it's not.
635
00:40:23,687 --> 00:40:27,088
Not anymore. lt's just a place l worked.
l can do that anywhere.
636
00:40:37,034 --> 00:40:38,695
[Meredith] But it works.
637
00:40:40,004 --> 00:40:42,336
You risk exposure...
638
00:40:43,207 --> 00:40:47,007
What are you doing?
You'll get the chicken pox.
639
00:40:47,044 --> 00:40:50,571
So l get the chicken pox.
640
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:52,605
...for the sake of healing.
641
00:40:57,555 --> 00:40:59,250
And when it's over...
642
00:41:01,859 --> 00:41:04,350
...once the incision has been closed...
643
00:41:06,730 --> 00:41:08,095
...you wait.
644
00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:10,362
Did you see him before he left?
645
00:41:10,401 --> 00:41:14,064
No. l didn't think it
would make it easier.
646
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,971
For him or for you?
647
00:41:18,742 --> 00:41:20,733
This is the best thing for him.
648
00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:23,771
You know that.
649
00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:26,908
lt's the only thing.
650
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,551
Let's not pretend you did this for him.
651
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:37,254
lt's just you and me here, Derek.
You did this for you.
652
00:41:38,262 --> 00:41:42,892
ln the choice between surgery and love,
you chose surgery.
653
00:41:43,634 --> 00:41:46,262
- You chose ambition today.
- So did you.
654
00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:49,905
You knew he wasn't ready
to go back into the OR,
655
00:41:49,940 --> 00:41:54,468
but you wanted to do that surgery so
badly, you were willing to overlook it.
656
00:41:57,648 --> 00:41:59,582
We're the same.
657
00:42:00,551 --> 00:42:05,818
[Meredith] You wait, and you hopethat your patient will heal...
658
00:42:06,924 --> 00:42:09,188
...that you haven't, in fact...
659
00:42:11,061 --> 00:42:13,757
...just made everything worse.
52775
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