Original subtitles

FILM POLSKI presents

Starring

MISTER BLOT...

MISTER BLOT'S ACADEMY

Part One

PRINCE MATTHEW'S ADVENTURE

Cast

Screenplay

Music

Subtitles by Hilda Andrews- Rusiecka

Photography

Direction

My name is Adam Niezgodka l'm 10 years old

l'm going to tell you now abaut Mr Blot's Academy

l was a hopeless boy...

Awkward, and always late for school.

All thumbs, my mother said of me.

Nobody ever asked me to join in any games...

...because l was supposed to bring bad luck.

But games bored me,

l prefered books.

l dreamed of marvellous adventures,

thought l was afraid l might really be no good.

That is until the day...

But wait and see for yourselves.

Welcome, Adam, in our tale of...

...Mister Blot's Academy.

Mr Blot himself has invited you to join us.

And you'll be welcomed... ...by a song.

ln the Land of Cockaigne Puss in Boots spins his cane

And prances hand in hand With an ass on an ant.

A guinea hen they say Lays a golden egg each day

An oak has apples on it Each in an ermine bonnet.

A venerable whale Wears specs to read his mail

There's salmon and saidines In tomatoes and baked beans

And a circus of white mice Skating on a mountain of ice

Where's that happy place ? Vanished without a trace...

l'm so pleased

you found your way... ...into our tale.

l'm sure you'll like it here.

You'll have great fun.

The classrooms, bedrooms and dining- room...

...are on the ground- floor.

On the first floor you'll find the kitchen, my study

and doors leading to other stories.

My secrets are on the 2nd floor where only...

Mat the Jackdaw and l are allowed.

No enty except through the chimney.

We'll start our tour with the kitchen.

You can help me get the meal ready.

Evey stoy has its own favourite colour.

Much depends on colour.

Mood, effest and spontaneity.

ln our tale you'll find all the colours of the rainbow.

Each stands for a quality l value highly:

Candour,

energy and simplicity.

Hand me a clean brush.

Thank you.

l know how to make edible paints...

...which represent different flavours.

Blue is sour, green tastes of mint,

pink is sweet, red is bitter... ...and yellow is salty.

By combining different shades we obtain...

...other more complicated flavours.

Green and white with a touch of grey...

...tastes of vanilla.

Brown and yellow tastes of chocolate.

White and silver with a hind of jade tastes of pineapple.

Today we'll serve...

flower soup.

Flower soup in three flavours.

lt'll be ready in a moment.

For the second course we'll serve duck.

l'll just have to blow it up a little.

That's what my magnifying pump is for.

l'm not a wizard or a magician.

l just like to invent things...

...and l'm an expert story-teller.

Let's hury. Mat's ringing the bell for lunch.

Pour the soup into the tureens and take them down.

Meanwhile... ...l'll see to the duck.

Alfred l, Antony and Andrew ll.

Adam ll, Alfred, Andrew

and Adam.

A new boy.

- What's your name? - Adam

You know what's for lunch today?

Duck.

Dotty Duck l give you my word

Was a vey Peculiar bird

lnstead of Staying at home

She took Long walks on her own

At the barber's She quacked nicely please

Just weighime A quarter of cheese

And at The drugstore next door

She asked for half a pint more

At the laundy She ordered a yard

Of stamps To put on a card

Her family set up a Set up a howl

Can nothing Be done with that fowl?

She hardboiled Her eggs in the snow

And pinned up Her curls with a bow

lt made The other ducks foam

When she used A match as a comb

Once when She'd gobbled a book

She broke into Gobbledygook

She chewed up A lot of spaghetti

And said She was making confetti

And once She swallowed a dime

Just for the sake The sake of the rhyme

Her folks All quacked in distress

Oh dear What a terrible mess!

At last They found her a buyer

Who said He was willing to ty her

He picked up Our Dottie and trussed her

And in a Hot oven he thrust her

But he wished He had saved his money

When Dottie Turned into a bunny

That is The last news we heard

Of this Vey peculiar bird.

Flower soup!

l'll serve the duck myself.

You decide what we're to have for afters.

l thought to myself...

... this must be the start of my great adventure.

l hoped it wasn't just make-believe.

Well, what sweet have you chosen?

Omlet and cherries in chocolate.

Omlet and cherries in chocolate...

That's a speciality of ours!

l'm sure you'll like it.

What'll you eat, sir?

Two pills to make my hair grow and four freckles.

Freckles are good for memoy, mental powers and against colds.

No more freckles?

Go to Philip Barber for a fresh supply.

Philip visits us evey Thursday...

...but l can't wait that long.

You'll find his shop in Grey Street.

l found the place without any trouble.

l wondered what it was like inside.

l'd never been to a hairdresser's before.

What are you doing here, you little scamp?

My establishment is for adults only.

A little thieving rascal, are we?

Who are you and who sent you here?

Mr Blot sent me for some fresh freckles.

So you're a pupil at my dear friend's academy!

Happy to make your acquaintance. You don't look like...

... those affected little prigs he collects there.

l'll find you some freckles right away.

Straight from the safe,

fresh in today.

Freckles!

Mr Blot will be pleased.

Tell him it'll soon be his turn...

... to do me a favour.

You look as if you...

... had your head screwed on properly.

Soon you'll all have a big surprise.

See you soon, little knowall

Vey nice...

PHILIP GENT'S HAIRDRESSER

PHILIP BARBER

l was in a hury to tell Mr Blot...

... about these strange goings- on.

Adam...

l'm glad you're back.

You'll tell me eveything tomorrow.

Have some wonderful dreams.

Uncovered as usual...

Oh dear...

Sleeptight!

Good morning my mery warblers...

Good morning...

Mat, time to wake up the boys.

What do you always start with us?

The moon once visited a pool Because he wanted to be cool

Come and join us under the rain-tree.

- Who'll preside? - Adam lll

The moon once visited a pool

Because he wanted to be cool

The fishes all... Came up for air

And sang in great surprise Who's there?

The moon flashed Brightly on their tails

A goldfish, Can't you see my scales?

Oho my friend, You'll soon be mine

An angler cried And cast his line

He caught him By a curly beam

Ate him for breakfast Braised in cream

- Is eveyone up? - Yes.

- No-one's idle? - Mo.

- Where are all the loafers? - Loafing on the sofa!

Loafing there is Lazy Len

Len is shirking work again

What do you mean by shirk?

lsn't what l do work?

Who ate

Breakfast, lunch and tea

And who's that

Sitting here but me?

Who scratched

His head and then his nose

Who sat

Right here And wiggled his toes?

And who mislaid His bat and ball?

You see! l'm not idle at all!

Loafing there is lazy Len

Len is shirking work again

Hey! Didn't l Drink my codliver oil?

And didn't l Watch the kettle boil?

And didn't l Mearly get stung?

And didn't l Put out my tongue?

And didn't l Let them cut my hair?

You call that idle? It's just not fair!

Hello, my scallywags!

Tell me about your dreams.

We'll put the best in our album.

With a piece of cotton wool...

... soaked in sleepy essence...

Mr Blot collected our dreams in a big bowl.

When they were dy he rolled them into pills...

...which we took before going to bed.

That way we had wonderful dreams.

One of mine was put into our album.

lt was a dream of seven glasses.

After soaking up ourdreams...

...Mr Blot put us to various tasks.

You'll stay by the gate.

Albert and Antony l will clear up the playground.

Alfred and Antony ll... ...will lay the table.

Arthur will dust the schoolroom.

Alfred ll and Antony lll will sweep the stairs and bedrooms.

You'll go and get matches...

... from the little matchgirl.

Dress warmly, it's winter in that stoy.

Lessons after breakfast.

l can see you're from another stoy altogether.

What brings you here?

Mr Blot asked me to get some matches.

Mr Blot sent you?

l like that old fellow.

You shall have some matches right away.

Take them to Mr Blot

and stop cying.

This little girl... ... is only pretending

to be cold and hungy.

lt's just a stoy!

Give my love to Mr Blot.

My name is Hans Christian Andersen.

Run along now.

ln a trice l was back at the academy.

l handed over the matches and joined the others.

l won't bore you with the multiplication tables,

or grammar,

or fine handwriting...

Or anything else usually taught at school.

l'll simply open your minds...

... and sharpen your wits.

Have l told you about flying carpets?

Or the famous cap of invisibility?

What about incredible shrinking objects?

l have it... Blottography!

Blottography!

Who'll begin?

Anastasius.

Here you have a A friendly bear

Friendly bears Are rather rare

Bruin, Give this lad your paw!

You don't want to? What a bore!

Dad was red And so was mum

Red's my tail And here l come

Red's the colour Of my tribe

Get away Or l shall bite!

When a boar Is wild, he's wild

And he keeps His tusks well filed

lf you see one Don't delay

Climb the nearest Tree straightway!

Now maybe You'd like to meet

A shaggy bison On his beat

Come on, Bison, There's a dear

Smile, before You disappear

When a boar Is wild, he's wild

And he keeps His tusks well filed

lf you see one Don't delay...

Monkeys flying High for kicks

Getting up to Monkey tricks

A baboon's A monkey too

Take a look, He's just like you!

When a boar Is wild, he's wild

And he keeps His tusks well filed

lf you see one Don't delay

Climb the nearest Tree straightway!

When a boar Is wild, he's wild

And he keeps His tusks well filed

lf you see one Don't delay

Climb the nearest Tree straightway!

lf find this creature Quite absurd

ls it a rhino Or a bird?

Enter in pairs.

Careful !

Take great care!

This is a hospital for sick appliances.

You must be careful not to upset any of them.

Hello, how are we today?

l see...

...your temperature's come down.

Feeling much better, aren't we?

No more twinges, you look fine...

lt's healed up beautifully, quite beautifully.

ln a day or two you'll be as right as rain.

Another patient...

Well, how's the cough?

We'll ty a little oil.

Don't wory. Soon you'll be perfectly well.

Lovely!

And now...

...watch carefully.

l'll teach you how to cure a cracked mirror.

Just concentrate...

Later we'll hand it up in the dining-room.

lt's quite well again.

Fine... don't disturb us.

Now then, form two teams for...

... a geography lesson.

lt'll be an exciting match. The two captains to me, please.

Now take your places.

Ready, steady, go!

Europe!

London, Berlin, Madrid,

Rhine, Thames...

Asia!

lran, Gobi, Omsk,

Ganges, Tomo...

America!

Misissippi, Colorado... California, New York, Ontario...

Occasionally something gets lost across the wall...

...but nobody ever brings anything back.

l think l heard them say That summer's on her way

The mole grunts, for my part l expect her on a cart

The magpie cries, oh no That really can't be so

Last May l saw her plain She was riding on a train

That's nonsense if like l know she rides a bike

No! No! She prefers a chaise A chaise? l am amazed

l have it at first hand She never comes by land

Meanwhile summer pranced In on foot meadows danced

And in a blaze of flowers

Welcome the sunny hours

ln today's lesson

you'll learn the language...

... of birds, frogs, crayfish and fishes.

As you know, these creatures all speak in verse.

Don't wory, we'll ty and save it.

l can hear...

l can hear...

l can hear Mat calling us in for dinner.

We'll put off learning bird language until dawn.

That's all for today.

You've been vey attentive.

l'm happy to see you are all...

...friends of nature and respect her ways.

After dinner the boys went fishing...

... and Mr Blot took out his butte_ly-net.

Got you!

l wanted to see him about my visit to Philip Barber.

Come in.

You've discovered my secret.

l'll tell you my stoy and then you'll understand...

... why l've such a large collection of buttons.

Shut your eyes...

lt'll make it easier for you to imagine my adventures.

Know that l'm not a bird but a prince.

Once there was a great realm that lacked an heir to the throne.

My birth, therefore, was anxiously awaited.

Your Majesty, Her Royal Highness...

... has given birth to a boy!

Our kingdom has an heir to the throne!

Long live the king!

The Island of Abracadabra, prosperous but in debt.

Cape Codswallow - vey poor.

The ambassador of Tellatalia.

Proverbia, a vey rich county.

My father...

...was wise and benevolent.

Many rulers sought his favours.

l grew up amidst kindness and plenty.

My slightest whim was law.

Evey smile of mine...

... was entered in the Book of Royal Smiles.

My youth was spent in riding and hunting.

l did not neglect my lessons but the call of the saddle and the dun...

...was stronger than anything else.

l spent...

...days on end on my favourite Ali Baba.

This angered my tutors who persuaded the court...

...physician to condemn my favourite pastime.

His health and even his life are at risk.

l have advised against it...

The horse is wild and might bolt.

Hear the royal wish!

Motivated by concern for the health of our son...

... and royal heir...

... we have forbidden him to ride on horseback...

... or to take part in shooting contests.

The royal command filled me with bitterness.

Have no faith in fortune

You she has raised up high

But on her turning wheel

Keep a watchful eye

What fortune has bestowed

She can take away

And no old acquaintance

Will help to bid her stay

Those who gather round you

And your sign praises now

Are not drawn by friendship

But to your fortune bow

ln spite of the prohibition l stole away.

lf l had known what the outcome would be...

... l should not have defied my father's will.

ln the name of the king!

Let me pass or l'll put a bullet through you.

My dearest child...

We were unable to stem the flow of blood.

The wound must heal!

By royal command!

Hear the royal proclamation!

Whoever succeeds in stemming the flow of blood,

can have half the contents of the royal treasuy.

The wound went on bleeding.

l became gradually weaker.

The physicians efforts were in vain.

My father despaired utterly.

But one day...

We bring news of the arrival of Dr Pai Chi Wo,

personal court physician to the emperor of China.

Let him enter.

Save my son, doctor!

l'll give you as many rubies, emeralds and diamonds...

... as will fill this chamber.

l'll put up a statue...

... in your honour and make you my first minister.

Your Majesty!

Wise...

...and just ruler!

Keep your jewels for the benefit of your subjects.

l don't deserve a statue.

ln my county only poets are honoured thus.

And l'd rather not be a minister...

...as l might fall out of favour.

Allow me to examine the patient.

lf l succeed in curing him...

...l beg you to hold a magnificant feast...

... for all your poorest citizens.

lt shall be as you wish.

Would you allow me to have...

... a few moments alone with my patient?

l was able to cure you...

...because l command secrets...

...known only to my people.

l know how you came by your wound.

You killed the king of wolves and werewolves...

...and they'll wreak a terrible revenge.

They'll never forgive you.

That was the first wolf king...

...to die at the hands of a human.

You are in vey great danger.

l'll give you a magic can that l had...

...from the emperor himself.

lt may only pass into royal hands.

Never part with it.

Look after it like the apple of your eye.

When your life is in danger...

...put it on and you'll be able...

...to change into any creature you like.

When the danger has passed...

...just pull this button...

...and you'll regain your former shapes.

Long live the prince! Long live the king!

Sir,

l bring dreadful news!

Packs of wolves are ravaging towns and villages.

They devour food supplies and attack people.

Hardes of wolves from the south...

... are trampling down the crops.

They might even attack the capital.

We must stand up to this threat!

We march together Mo enemy we fear

Before our mighty army All obstacles disappear

Howl, wolves, howl!

No mercy shall Shall be shown

With iron jaws Iron will

The world We'll call our own

We advance and on the world Our shadow falls

Brother wolves, forward! Destiny calls!

Citizens! Your king appeals to you.

Only you can save our county.

We must not surrender a single street,

a single house or a single button.

Commander of the Guard!

ln the name of the wolf king l call on you to yield!

Give way or you'll be shot.

Traitor!

l don't know what happened.

When l awoke my parents were both dead.

l remembered the magic cap.

But without the button...

l want to be a bird!

l was captured by a bird-catcher...

And sold to a trader.

What a queer fellow! Queer fellow!

At the market l caught the eye...

...of a travelling scholar.

l'd be glad to buy this bird.

What's your price?

100 pesetas is quite a modest sum,

wouldn't you say?

But l must know who's buying this bird...

... who has mastered the human tongue.

Doctor of chemisty, philosophy and medicine,

Disciple of Prof. Pai Chi Wo,

Lecturer in mathematics and astronomy,

Ambrose Blot, at your service.

Now you know my story.

Today l am a jackdaw.

But l'm not at home either among birds or people.

Don't be unhappy, Mat.

l'll try and find your magic button.

But why didn't Mr Blot help you?

After all there's nothing he can do.

Mat! Adam!

Mr Blot wants us to assemble in the square.

l'd like us all to be present...

...at the lift- off of the balloon l'm sending...

- together with my third eye -

... to one of the planets of the solar system...

... known as the Star of Hope.

lf what l suspect turns out to be true,

l'll tell you another story - a tale of stardwellers.

When will the third eye be back?

l don't know, but certainly before Christmas.

Fly towards the stars!

Come along with us to the pond.

We have a rabit.

l'm waiting to talk to Mr Blot...

... about something important.

Well then, we'll go without you.

During ''time off' everyone can do as he likes.

While l was waiting for Mr Blot...

... l thought about how easily he rose into the air...

... and how wondrful...

... it would be to fly like a balloon or a ball.

Suddenly l felt strangely lightheaded...

l floated upwards without being afraid.

A new adventure!

All this time Philip Barber...

... was working on his mysterious invention.

What does he want? Who'll win this exciting duel?

What new adventure awaits Adam?

You can find out in Part Two of...

... MISTER BLOT'S ACADEMY CALLED

THE SECRET OF PHILIP THE BARBER