Original subtitles

Poor Mama.

Well...

...my life's over.

There's nothing left.

You've got me, Father dear.

I'll work for you, just as hard as Mother did.

- And I'll cook for you... - You don't know.

Yes, I do.

I loved her too.

Well, perhaps it's as well she died when she did, my dear.

Father, what is it?

They're going through my books at the office.

- Well? - Well, you see, I...

I had a bit of bad luck playing cards, and I...

- You took their money? - Borrowed it, that's all. Borrowed it.

And now they're suspicious.

The narrow-minded, sneaking swine.

I never did like being a bookkeeper in a lace factory, never.

- But will they send you to prison? - Yes. Oh, they'll have no mercy.

But what...?

- Couldn't you go to England? - Where's the fare?

Well, Mother gave me this. She saved it for me.

She thought I should have it if I got married.

But I shan't get married. I'm going to stay with you.

I suppose there isn't enough to pay back what you borrowed.

No. No. Oh, no. It'll give me a start in England, though.

With the help of this lace, if I can get it through the customs duty-free...

- Father, that's downright stealing. - Don't argue. Get my bag out, will you?

Not much time to catch a train. Here.

- What are you doing? - I'm going with you.

You'd be a hindrance. You've never been out of France.

I'm half English, aren't I? And I can speak it as well as you can.

But I'd stand a much better chance by myself.

They'd be able to trace a man with a girl.

- Well, then I... I won't be a girl. - What?

I won't be weak and I won't be silly.

I'll be a boy and rough and hard.

- I won't care what I do. - What are you doing? Stop that.

Don't worry. I'm ready for anything.

Here, I say, whenever will we get to New Haven?

Two hours fog delay, madam.

- We'll miss the boat train. - You'll get to London all right.

Thank you. And my son?

Thank you.

Oh, my heart. I thought it was the police.

- You think they sent a wireless after us? - Don't be nervous. Don't be worried.

No?

Who do you think he is?

Did you see him?

He's got us marked. I bet he's going off to tell the purser.

Oh, he's nobody. This is something about horse racing.

You never know. This may be a code or something detectives use to go in the...

"Strawberry Darling, 8-to-1."

Well, there's a good thing there.

He knows something, that fellow does.

I'd like to have a talk with him.

- No, no, no, there might be a tip in that. - Tip?

It's your darned tips that landed you in the soup.

I'd...

Oh, I don't know.

Hiding me head...

...driven from me home...

...afraid of everybody I see.

Oh, there. Oh, there. There, there. Poor little girl.

Feeling bad, are you?

Oh, you're not used to the water.

Now, you stay here, close to the rail. You'll feel better soon.

"... ought to travel, go abroad.

I'll pay your fare over. " And I went, you see?

I got myself married to a French woman, and there you are.

Twenty years, sweating me soul out as a bookkeeper.

Oh, that's too bad, old chap. And what are you gonna do now?

If you don't mind my asking, that is. Here.

Well... Thank you. That's very kind of you.

I've got an idea. Of course, I've got more than one idea, you know.

That was a good song, wasn't it, eh?

And you're a good fellow, you know.

Here. Look here. I'll show you something.

I'll show you.

Got it wrapped all around me like a corset.

Thirty yards of it.

That's worth 50 quid if it's worth a sou.

See, I just slip it thru the customs without paying the duty...

...then I've got a bit of capital to go on with. You see?

Oh, then I got my plans, I tell you.

- Come on, Father. The boat's in. - Oh, your son, is it?

- Yes, this is my boy, Sylv... - Sylvester.

Making his first trip to England.

Yes, and this is Mr...

Monkley. Jimmy Monkley. Little friend of all the world.

- Nobody's enemy but me own. - Yeah, I can tell that by the look of you.

Hey!

Oh, you're a bit ticklish, aren't you?

Just wondering if there's any more lace in the family.

Well, toodle-oo, see you later.

Not if I can help it.

Have a nice day.

Thanks. Thanks very much.

- Put that down. - Anything to declare? Cigars, cigarettes?

- No. - In any form?

Laces, clocks, watches, jewelry?

Anything to declare? Cigars, cigarettes, wines, tobacco?

Saccharin, silk, artificial silk?

- Do you mind coming along with me, sir? - What for?

- It just that you... - I haven't done a thing.

I haven't done anything.

- Thanks very much, that was fine. - Don't mention it.

- Shall I open me bags? - No, that's all right.

- Fine. - Yes, sir.

- Come on. - Thank you, sir.

The way they talked to me.

Anybody would think I was no better than a criminal.

So I am, and a beggar too.

They fined me all me money.

English ham roll.

And your mother's dead, and I...

Don't cry, Father.

Hang it, you've got me too.

If only you hadn't talked to that brute on the boat.

Why? What...?

- Was it him? - Yes.

Oh, what a fool I was.

Yes.

Well, we're all fools sometimes.

Only you choose such awkward times.

Well, it's all over now.

We're together and that's all that matters.

Hurry up. Giddap.

That dirty dog, to give you away like that. The swine.

I hated his rotten face the minute I saw him.

I'd like to see him again though. I'd give him a smack in the jaw.

I'd take hold of that oily black hair of his and...

Anything else you can think of?

Here I am. Now what?

Oh, here, here, here.

You, you, you...

- And all that beautiful lace that I... - Here, here, here.

- Now, can't we settle this like gentlemen? - You're a spy, a Judas, lowest of the low.

You got sense, shut him up while I explain to you.

Explain? I was taken away...

One civil question.

How much do you say your piece of lace was worth?

- Three thousand francs. - Three thousand francs, 45 pounds.

Thirty you might have got for it. Then the fine...

- Oh, they fined me. - Fifty pounds, am I right?

- Yes. - All right, here you are.

Thirty and 50. That makes 80, don't it?

All right, here it is.

Thirty...

...and 50.

And for your inconvenience, let's make it up to the round figure.

What do you say to that?

Well, thank you.

- No, thank you. - For what?

Be careful, Father. He's up to something.

Here, just you listen to me.

Next time you wanna run contraband, watch out on the boat for an amateur...

...who's too free with his tongue.

Having got wise to his little game, pass the information on to a customs officer...

...who, recognizing you as a man of public spirit...

...chalks his moniker on your baggage, and there you are with your cargo, duty-free.

Behold the sparklers.

I say! Are they yours?

Well, it's a little commission job for a pal of mine.

Oh, what a nerve.

There you are. He's got humor, he's got imagination, he has.

I wish I could imagine why you coughed up that money.

- You wanna know why? - Yeah.

You're the right sort. Twigged it as I clapped eyes on you.

Keen, got plenty of ginger, ain't afraid to do nothing daring. That's you.

- Yes, I... - You could learn things.

- Learn what? - Here, who am I?

Jimmy Monkley, gentleman adventurer.

One of the hawks.

"Hawks"? Oh, hawks, hawks.

Yeah, hawks, hawks. The word "hawks. "

Sparrows and hawks, that's humanity.

The hawks boss it over the sparrows, that's nature.

Now, you wanna be a sparrow?

Look at them all around you. What are they? Mere slaves. Me?

I'm out to beat the system. I'm free. I see life.

"Easy come, easy go. " That's my motto.

I'm the fella for taking a chance. Rolling stone.

Yeah, I'm a rolling stone too.

Well, here. Why don't you two come and roll along with me?

- Proper threesome. One for all, all for one. - Like the Three Musketeers.

What do you say, old chap?

Can't you see us picking up loose change at Epsom? Having a bit of fun out West?

I'll be a hawk.

All right. How about you, young fella?

Monk, I'm with you.

What's the matter with him?

- Some sort of foreigner, I think. - Yes, I know, but why is he crying?

I don't know, ma'am.

Excuse me. One minute, please. Excuse me.

Excuse me, sir.

What's the matter, my lad? You seem in terrible trouble.

- Doesn't anyone here speak French? - Excuse me, sir. I speak a little French.

Can I be of any assistance?

Oh, yes. There seems to be something very much up with this young lad here.

Perhaps you'd be so kind as to get us a few of the details.

Certainly. I'll do my best.

He says he's a poor French boy, alone in London. Penniless.

Can't speak a word of English.

Not a word?

Not a word.

In Paris, he worked hard to support his old mother. She is very poor.

His father, being a hopeless drunkard, a good-for-nothing thief, who...

He says he met an Englishman in Paris, promised him employment.

Took his savings, promised to give him work when he got to London.

Well, what happened?

- What did the young fella say? - Go on. What happened?

The Englishman never turned up again.

Dear, dear. This sounds like an infamous racket.

Probably the work of an organized gang. I know what I mean to do.

Here is a pound for you.

Oh, come, come. Take it, my boy, take it.

- Good afternoon. - Sir...

...I should be honored to shake you by the hand.

A heart of gold, sir, if ever I saw one in my life.

Oh, come now, old chap.

- I've not always been all I should be. - Well, who has?

I welcome this chance to put a little item on the right side of the ledger. Up above.

I mean, one moment. I can't afford to be as generous as you are, sir.

But perhaps a little contribution might help.

I say, old chap. That's very decent. Very decent, indeed.

Is a couple of bobs any good?

Splendid, splendid.

I say, we'll show this poor boy what Englishmen really are.

- There, will you lend me your hat? - Certainly, sir.

And I'll be glad to start the collection with another pound.

Well, I'll add a few more shillings, myself, sir. All I can afford.

That's most generous of you.

Thank you, sir. That's very kind. That's very kind of you, sir.

That's very kind. Thank you.

Thank you very much. It's very kind of you.

I knew England would come to the assistance of France.

Thank you very much.

He's put in a sixpence, and taken out a half a crown.

You dirty little...

What did you say?

Not a word?

- Hey. Yeah, what is this? - You little liar, you.

- What is this? - Liar!

Go get him! Go get him!

We had a fine day, didn't we? You and that kid.

Spending time teaching that kid all I know and what happens?

Oh, there you are. Come in here.

So you must bust out laughing again right at the wrong minute, mustn't you?

Keep it up. Keep it up. After tomorrow night, we shan't have a roof over our heads.

I haven't got a hat over mine as it is.

Oh, shut up about your blooming hat.

Me wasting me time with you two.

I gotta think of something.

We gotta think of something quick.

Now, where's me ideas? Where's me ideas?

- I'm hungry. - And I'm thirsty.

Oh, you two.

- Three eggs and nothing else. - All right, fry them. Make some tea.

Tea? You know what tea does, don't you?

- Shut up. - Worst thing you can drink.

Quiet, quiet. Let me think, will you?

Tea.

Now, there's a polly trick.

No, no, that needs capital.

Smash and grab.

That's no good without a car.

Dodge the fox...

- What, is your egg bad? - No, yours.

Here, now, now, now, don't be so clever.

Got our backs up against a wall. If only I could think of something...

Here, out of my way. If only I could think of something.

Oh, what's happened to me ideas?

They're all bad.

- What's that? - These eggs.

- Here, you know, I might snatch a bag. - Rotten sneaking thing to do.

Why can't we be like Robin Hood?

See this cat burglar? That's what I'd like to do.

Swarm up a drainpipe at the back of a big house.

Scream for help before you were halfway up.

You and your crazy notions.

You got no more sense than a girl. Less, I should say.

We could use a girl for a lot of things.

By Jove, if we only had one. That's a badger game. Fifty things.

Would a girl really help?

Certainly. Take any mug that way. If we had a girl, we'd be on easy street.

Would we? Jimmy, we got a surprise for you.

- What? - "Youth who struck father, released. "

- What's the matter with him? - Oh, I don't know. Something in the paper.

That's what it is about girls.

Show them a little bit of humor, affection and...

You can handle them proper.

If they get bit too rorty, give them a clip on the ear.

Shove them aside, get yourself another.

If I was a girl, I'd see myself dead before I got mixed up with you.

Don't talk silly. Jimmy, as a matter of fact...

Besides, girls talk. You wouldn't want all your secrets told, would you, Father?

Now, where's the idea? Where's the idea?

I've got it.

Why in the world didn't I think of it before? Why?

We could be on easy street.

- What is it? - Come on, spit it out.

Why don't we all get jobs and go to work?

That kid's gone off his rocker.

Can't he see what work's done to me?

Quiet, quiet. Let me think. Here.

We got our backs right up against a wall.

Knew I could think of something quick.

- There's life in the old dog yet. - Riches and splendor.

Quiet. We don't want that kid tagging along...

...and messing this up. - Right you are.

Here, half at moment. If we're gonna enter the haunts of the aristocracy...

...how can I get in without a hat? - I hadn't thought of it.

Here. Borrow the piano tuner's. Here we are.

How do I look in it?

Like an impresario, and so help me, so you shall be.

- Right. - Right.

Maudie, Maudie. Hey, hey, hey. What you doing?

Come on, give me a kiss, will you?

You are awful.

- What will the other gentleman think? - Don't worry about him.

He's broad-minded, being in the theatrical line, as you can see by his hat.

Mr. Scarlett, Henry...

...meet Miss Maud Tilt, known as Maudie.

How do you do, Mr. Scarlett?

Pleased to meet you, I'm sure.

Oh, no, no, the pleasure's mine.

After being abroad so long...

...it's a privilege to meet a true English rose.

Without a thorn, Henry, take it from me.

- Oh, you are awful. - Here, here.

Wonderful background here.

Marvelous setting. What atmosphere.

However did you guess I was all on me lonesome...

...coming to the front door like that?

You see, dear, I read in the newspapers that the honorable Waterhouse and family...

...were off for a jaunt on the briny.

Just me opportunity, I thought, for you to get acquainted with Mr. Scarlett.

Here. He's organizing concert parties, looking for talent.

Oh, really?

I say, Scarlett, old man.

Yes?

Now, now. You've heard many, many beautiful singers, I know.

- Let me tell you, this little girl is the goods. - Really?

She's a peach, a darling, a love. She'll show you what she can do on the piano.

- And you'll thank me, I'm sure. - Oh, what a lovely idea.

- Allow me. - Oh, Maudie. Maudie, here.

- Just a minute. Excuse me, will you, Henry? - Why, certainly.

Now look, I...

I don't like the idea of Mr. Scarlett seeing you like this, you know.

Might affect your contract too.

Here, here.

Why don't you borrow one of the missis' Paris gowns, eh?

- Show yourself off a bit, you know. - Well, I might.

They suit me a sight better than they do her, I must say.

And look, Maudie...

...put on a few sparklers too. Do it up proper.

- Here. Henry, old man? - Yes?

Maudie here is gonna put on some glad rags.

Oh, well, can I assist you in any way?

Sometimes you ladies require a little fixing up...

...during the later stages of la toilette, n'est-ce pas, Miss Tilt?

Oh, do call me Maudie.

Oh, I'd love to, Maudie.

I hope you're not being bored, Mr. Scarlett, sitting there all on your own.

No. No, no. I'm thinking of you, my dear.

Oh, you ought not to do that, really.

Not as I am now.

Well, if you'll just look in here, you'll see something you never thought of.

Oh, well, I never.

You put his little black velvet breeches on, what he wears at Buckingham Palace.

Well, the fact is, my dear...

...we professional people never can resist a telling costume.

- Tell me, does it suit me? - You look properly aristocratic.

- I wonder how you look. - Don't you dare.

Just a respectful once. Yes. Come on. Just once.

No, no, no. Just once.

Help!

Save me, I'm falling. Help!

Help, it's burglars! We should all be killed!

Help! He's got a gun!

Help! Help!

I'm falling!

Help!

Hey, open this window! Help!

Help!

Why, you little devil.

Oh, Monk...

Come on in.

- Oh, I thought I could be a cat burglar. - A cat burglar.

- Come on, you two, it's this kid of yours. - It's lucky for you I didn't break my neck.

Yeah, lucky for you I don't break it for you.

- What is this? - It's that kid again.

- What are you supposed to be? - What is this?

Why, it's little Lord Fauntleroy.

None of that. None of that.

You ought to go down on your knees and apologize.

Frightening this beautiful lady.

- I say, what a fine place this is. - I ought to give him a boot out.

No, let me stay. Oh, why, I've never seen a society lady before.

- Oh, he's such a nice boy. - Oh, thank you, madam.

Don't be hard on him.

- Let him stay and have a bite of supper. - No, no, no.

- Please, Henry. - No, no, no. He's not to...

I'd do anything to please you, dear.

I'm all in me dishabille. I quite forgot.

- Go on down. I'll be with you in a tick. - Come along, Maudie, come along.

- But I say, it's marvelous. Oh, look at this. - Put that down.

Here, Maudie, don't forget what I told you. Plenty of sparklers, you know.

You think you could find a little room for me?

We gotta toddle along. Got a lot of business tomorrow, Henry.

No, no. It isn't midnight. I'm enjoying myself.

I'd have to go upstairs and change, leave the music and the beautiful girl.

Oh, don't go.

- We're going already? - Please don't go yet.

- Come on. We gotta say goodbye. - No, no.

- Sorry, Maudie. - She doesn't want me to go, do you?

Why, it's lovely. Let's stay forever.

You've got wonderful things before you with me behind you.

Oh, you are sweet, really you are. I must give you a kiss for that.

- Well, how about a little kiss for uncle? - Oh, you.

Oh, I shall never forget you brought the dear man here.

Here, here, here.

Here. Come on, old man. We've got a lot to do in the morning.

I haven't changed me clothes yet.

Seems too good to be true.

It ain't much of a life, you know, being in service.

Oh, don't worry about that, Maudie.

You won't be here much longer.

No. You'll think of the glitter, the applause, the bouquets, the jewels.

Like these?

- What's the matter, dear? - The missis' pearls.

Pearls out of the shining sea.

And the brooch, where can they be got to?

Oh, what a fool I was to monkey about with them.

Now, now, don't holler before you're hurt. Perhaps you dropped them on the carpet.

Oh, come and help me find them, do. Come and help me find them.

Dive for them. They've gone back into the sea.

I shall lose me place. I shall lose me character.

They'll say I stole them.

They'll send for the police.

- I'm ruined. - Oh, you'll find them all right, Maudie.

- Come on, Henry, let's go home. Come on. - Now, wait a minute.

You're a very silly girl.

- Don't you see what he's done? - Here. What are you getting at?

You think he's a theatrical producer, and you think he's a very good friend...

...and you think I'm a very nice boy.

Do you know what we are?

He's a crook, and he's a crook...

And he's a crook. Three bad eggs.

And we were all broke this afternoon...

...into a bowl.

Or was it on the rocks?

Yes, on the rocks...

...where the clean sand is, and sparkling water...

...and so he stole your pearls.

Oh, Jim.

You ain't ever pinched them from me, have you?

That's it, he's pinched them.

- Goodbye, clean... - Oh, he's had a drop too much to drink.

- Let's go. I've had enough of this. - So have I. I'm sick of the whole thing.

I thought it was fun at first. I thought it was being like a highwayman.

But when it comes to getting a poor servant girl out of her job...

...I'm not having any.

I'm sick of the whole thing.

I want the sea. I want the sea.

Well, go and drown yourself in it. Nobody's stopping you.

You're gonna give her back those jewels, Jimmy Monkley.

- Oh, please, Jim. - It seems a bit hard.

I haven't got them. You want a smack on the jaw?

I'll hail for a policeman and have you searched.

- Now, don't talk like that. - I'll tell them about Marseilles as well.

The way they bring them up nowadays, turn around on their fathers.

- What shall I do? What shall I do? - Oh, shut up.

I mean what I say.

Hand them over or I'll yell the place down.

It's your last chance.

Go on.

Go on, yell your blasted head off.

Help! Police, help!

Oh, Henry. Come with me.

Oh, you are a sport. I don't know how to thank you.

Oh, don't be sloppy.

Don't be angry with me, Jim.

Oh, shut your... big silly mouth.

Go on upstairs and change your clothes. Hurry up.

- Let's go home. Go on. - I'm all right. I'm all right.

Now there ain't going to be any concert party after all.

- I wouldn't have believed it of you. - I couldn't help it, my dear, really.

Now I shall have to stay here, slaving away, instead of performing by the sea.

The sea, but...

But we must perform by the sea.

We've given back the jewels. Let's keep our word as well.

Let's be a concert party and give shows around all the little seaside towns.

Oh, really? Do you really mean it?

Are you both barmy? Where's your capital?

Oh, but we can manage it somehow.

Well, I've got me savings, Jim. You can have what I've got and welcome.

I drink to your generosity, Maudie, my love.

- We could hire a caravan. - I propose the health of the little caravan.

And take all our scenery around on a trailer behind.

And the little trailer as well.

And cook over a campfire, and sleep under the stars.

All summer with the cornfields and the sea.

Oh, come on, Monk, join in.

Yeah, perhaps I will. Perhaps you've hit upon something for once.

We'll go by the sea.

Lots of fresh air, plenty of peace and quiet, and a good appetite.

If only we had a couple more bottles of beer, we'd be in clover.

Still, there's higher things.

Come on, Maudie, help me wash up.

I gotta keep my hands nice to attract the public.

- I'll keep you company, though. - I'll carry that for you.

- Mind that bit of wood. - I gotta go bye-bye, baby.

All right.

Mind your step.

There's a girl.

Well, well, hubby.

How's married life treating you, eh?

Well, now, tell me something.

- Is it all it's cracked up to be? - Now, now, don't.

Don't take that tone, old man.

You're talking about something sacred.

I say, isn't this a lark?

Not half.

"Enjoy yourself. " That's my motto.

You're only young once, I always say.

But you mustn't be too young.

When are you going to grow some whiskers?

Your face is as smooth as a girl's.

Still, you'll be bristly soon enough, don't you worry.

Well, I intend to grow a mustache in a year or two.

Oh, you won't half look a nut.

What you gonna have, a Charlie Chaplin?

No, one of those thin ones.

Like Ronald Colman.

Here. Where's me eyebrow pencil?

Let's see how it will look on you.

I wanna get it like Ronald Colman.

- No. - Hold still now. Wait a minute.

- I'm still. - Look at that. On the edges there.

Oh, I say, that's marvelous.

I say. I wonder what it would be like to kiss anybody with a mustache like that?

- I don't know. - Let's try.

What do you wanna do that for?

Don't you like kissing? It's high time you had some practice.

- Let me show you. - No.

I've got a girl already.

Hello, ducky.

Well, lovey-dovey, how goes it, eh?

It must be the fresh air. I never felt so ready for bed in all my life.

I've just been dreaming a bit of you.

No, have you? Go on.

Oh, and I just hate to leave my little angel sugar drop.

Sugar drop loves her baby man.

And nickle-wickle Sylvester wants to knock your fatsy-watsy heads together.

Love.

Oh, there you are. About time we turned in, isn't it?

- Where's your tent? - My what?

We'd arranged for you to sleep in a tent.

Oh, catch me.

All right. I'll sleep in it, then. Where is it?

There ain't no tent.

No, if you must know, I...

Well, I put the money on a horse.

- You what? - There's plenty of room for both of us.

Go on. Get your pajamas. Let's get curled up.

But... But...

"But... But... " What?

- I'm afraid I snore. - Oh, well, I'll cure you of that.

I'll give you a clump on the head every time I hear you.

Yeah, but I kick too.

Never mind about that.

You know, it's a bit nippy tonight.

You'll make a proper little hot water bottle.

No, no. I'm stuffy. It's dizzy...

Here, what's the matter with you? I took a bath last Saturday night.

Hello, hello We're going to start our show

And if you'll only put us to the test

In comedy and drama Song and dance as well

The Pink Pierrots Will try to do their best

I am the comic of the show With laughter, song and jest

I'll try and entertain you all I'll introduce the rest

To aid that comic is my job And then if you approve

A poem I'll recite to you Just any one you choose

In me you see the baritone In fact I'm everything

I play for all the other three And then I have to sing

In me you see the sweet soubrette For you I'll sing and dance

I'll sing a little melody If you'll just give me a chance

Ladies and gentlemen, and that group of fake artists over there on the boat...

I mean you, the man who makes a girl cry.

- shut up!

If you think you're so much cleverer than we are...

...get up here and do a turn yourself.

Well, all the same.

- I owe an apology to our friends here. - I should think so.

I assure you, I had no intention of distressing this charming young lady.

I laughed only at the sad thought that if indeed I wanted a kiss from her...

...there was so little hope of my getting it.

Oh, don't say that.

Here, here, here.

That's not the sort of entertainment we want here, is it?

And as for this young man who taught me a lesson that I badly needed...

...I beg him to shake hands with me.

My dear fellow, I beg your pardon.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...having had a liberal sample of our friend's humor here...

...we'll return to the business of giving entertainment, one and all.

I introduce to you, Mr. Sylvester Scarletto...

...singing "The Winkle on the Boarding House Floor. " Mr. Sylvester Scarletto.

Don't stop and listen to this.

Why not?

Well, it's horrible.

All right. Look here, I like you.

Come up to my studio after the show, let's make a party, eh? Bring your pals.

Ask for Michael Fane, anybody'll show you.

What's the matter with you both? Don't you think it's fine?

- What? - Why, to be in an orchard...

...with singing and laughing and dancing and wine...

...and the smell of the wet grass, all in the moonlight.

Grab him.

Here's to you.

Here, here, here. What do you think you're doing?

Look at him, will you?

- What time do you make it? - Here.

You know, there's something about you.

Well, as a matter of fact...

...I'm not...

- Hello. - Hello, darling.

- I'm so glad to see you. - I'm glad you're here.

Pleased to see you.

Lily, girl. Well, come to my party. Come here.

Look at all these people waiting to meet you.

Come on, come on, I've got your friends up...

And they sold all my nice furniture.

Oh, no, too bad.

Betty asked me down. Her parents live down here, so I came.

And how long do you stay?

Till Betty's too dull perhaps, or her parents are too shocked...

...or I am too bored.

Oh, don't get bored too soon.

It's marvelous having you here.

- What's this? - Oh, Maudie.

I love you, Maudie. Don't...

Don't do it.

Maudie.

- She will. - No.

- She will do it. - No, no, no. She mustn't.

I can't stand it, I tell you.

Here, duckie, say he follows her about.

Say she's gonna run off with him.

- He follows her. - No.

- He follows her. - No.

- And soon she run away. - No, no, no.

No, she mustn't.

Torturing me life after driving me mad.

Is that your idea of a joke? Here, Father.

Come on, Father. It's all right.

Where am I?

- I had such a nightmare. I... - Yes.

I dreamt that I was... Maudie.

- Where is she? - She's gone home. She's gone home early.

- Is this Maudie in a costume, also? - Yes, yes, yes.

- But look here. - What you laughing at?

You saw her.

- No, she didn't. - Yes, yes.

Carrying on with some fellow.

No, no, you. You're just playing a joke.

Come on, Father, let's go...

Oh, so you've woken up, lovey-dovey.

I just thought I'd go for a bit of a stroll.

You brazen baggage.

You were with him. She saw you.

- What a wicked lie. - Yes, of course it's a lie, Father.

You shouldn't be so rude, such a pretty boy.

No, no. Really, I say...

But darling, I said nothing.

But if you will have it, he had an eyeglass and a mustache.

There you are. That is him. Oh, I could...

Oh, dear. Come on, stop it. Stop it. Come on.

No, no, no.

Stop all this nonsense!

Well, well, well. Here, 2-to-1 on the skirt.

- Now, come on. - Get them apart.

Don't. Don't stop them. I adore the fight.

Adore that, then, you old mischief-making cat.

- I'll hit her again. - You little guttersnipe, get out of here.

You don't need to help me out of here. I can walk.

You get out of here, go on. Come on, the rest of you, get out of here.

Oh, well, I'm afraid I must go now.

Goodbye.

- back to the sands where we belong. It's better than here, anyway.

- Get on, get along. - Oh, don't worry about us. We'll go.

- Come on. - Oh, keep quiet.

- Get your hands off me. - Come on!

Come on, you two. Don't give them another free show.

That's all they want from us.

Such a clown.

Well, he was a jolly old clown...

...and now he's a miserable one, thanks to you.

You've made a nice boy behave like a little swine.

Oh, you've got no feeling for a little joke.

- Disgrace the lot of us. - Shut up.

- In front of the gentry. - Gentry.

And she ain't no better than she should be, by the looks of her.

I hate the sight of her. And he... He's as bad.

Take it from me, it don't do to step out of your class.

Well, well, well. It's a pretty fast piece of skirt.

Why, the nerve!

- I like the way that car goes. It's all right. - Did you see the way she was going?

- Did you hurt yourself, lovey? - I hurt my leg, I think.

The dirty road hog.

- Did you see the way she was going? - Come on, hold onto me, dear...

Hey, who's that?

Please, it's me.

I came to say I was sorry.

Oh, so you should be.

Yes, I know.

Would you mind if I said goodbye?

Not at all.

Well...

...goodbye. - Goodbye.

I can't imagine why I acted like that tonight.

I hadn't any right ever to come here. I...

I thought I had.

But no...

...you were right to chuck me out.

Everything was so lovely and I made it horrible.

I'm cheap. I'm loud-mouthed.

I can't control myself, I never could.

But poor old thing, he goes mad with jealousy, and...

And so...

Well...

Goodbye.

- Here, wait a minute. - Oh, I...

I brought some money to pay for the things we broke.

It's all I've got.

I hope it's enough.

Here you are.

Here, come on up.

Come on. Come on up.

Now, look here. I know I'm right.

You are an exceedingly nice boy.

But in heaven's name, why did you allow yourself to hit a woman?

Well, you don't understand.

If you understood, you wouldn't think it was so bad of me.

You see...

...I'm not...

Oh, of course. You're not gonna see your father treated like that. I understand.

Miss Doubetzsky was in the wrong.

- Oh, that's all right. - She's a strange girl.

She's a Russian, you know. An exile.

Just lives for one sensation after another.

Oh, well, let's forget about it, shall we?

We'll have a drink?

- No, no, thank you, I... - No?

No.

Women, women. They always mess things up.

Yes, I hate women too.

I just wanna forget they exist, don't you?

Well, I had the same thought just before you came in.

But I don't know.

Let's be reasonable, Sylvester, let us be just.

Which would you rather? Spend the day with a duke...

...a great artist, an explorer, or a really pretty girl, huh?

Why, I'd choose the great artist, of course.

Oh, more fool you. I'd plug for the pretty girl every time.

I say...

I know what it is that gives me a queer feeling when I look at you.

There's something in you to be painted.

Yes, that's what it must be.

Look, will you come and sit for me?

Will I? I'll sit for you till my bones crack.

They'll crack all right. Here's something to clinch the bargain.

- Oh, no. - Go on, take it.

Well, come over about teatime tomorrow.

And you might bring your costume with you.

All right, sure. I...

Yes, I...

I suppose I had better go.

Or you can bed down here if you want to.

No, I can't.

Suit yourself.

Light out?

Oh, thanks.

Do you want me to open the door for you?

No, no. I...

I like the window.

Well...

- Good night. - Good night.

- Will our clothes be safe? - Well, of course.

Come along, Edith.

I'm coming.

Wait for me.

Hey, wait for me.

Mr. Fane.

Mr. Fane.

Is that you, Sylvester? Come in.

May I?

Shan't be a moment.

Been picking apples and thought I'd have a bath.

Yeah, come on in. Let's see how that costume locks by daylight.

I haven't got it on yet.

Well, get into it.

I say, can you see my trousers out there?

You might bring them in to me.

No, I can't see them.

Oh, well, never mind.

I'll come out for them.

No.

Hey, what in the name of...?

Oh, you're not undressed, are you, Mr. Fane?

What?

Good heavens, boy. What are you up to?

Oh, I see, you're really a girl.

I wondered why I was talking to you as I did.

Oh, I say, I hope I didn't say anything to you I shouldn't have.

Well, well, who would have thought I wouldn't know a girl when I saw one?

Come on, sit down, you oddity.

Sit down, you crowing hen.

You freak of nature.

Sit down, let's have a look at you.

What...? What is so funny? What is so funny?

The way you stick out your legs.

Well, I didn't ask you to look at them.

Oh, don't be angry. Don't be angry.

Oh, what a Pierrot party.

What a prize package.

Oh, I shall die.

Well, I'll go and spare your life.

No, don't, don't. I'm sorry.

Have I offended you?

Come, come, I didn't mean it.

There.

You're a jolly girl.

A pretty girl too.

No. No.

Chuck it, I say.

A vixen, eh?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to hit you.

I'm rude and rough and clumsy.

I should have stayed as a boy. It's all I'm fit for.

Oh, no, no. Who wants more hobbledehoys in the world?

Whereas there's always room for another pretty girl.

You're all right. Why, you're charming.

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes.

My hair's charming, I suppose.

It's very amusing.

Yes. My freckles, they're amusing too.

Look at them.

And the way I stand.

Yes, you're nice from your head to your toes.

My toes, why, they're squeezed to death in these shoes.

Oh, dear. Big feet, eh?

I should say I have. And this dress...

I keep wanting to put my hands in my trouser pockets.

- I don't know what to do with them. - Well...

...why don't you give them five rounds with a nailbrush?

What?

Poor child.

So I hurt her feelings, did I?

I said the sort of thing she was saying herself...

...and she don't like it.

I'm sorry. I'm just a fool.

Well, of course you're a fool.

But I'll tell you the cure.

You've got to learn the tricks of the trade.

Tricks? Not me.

Well, men will play tricks on you, so you better be armed.

Now, listen to me.

Don't squeak and squeal about your freckles and your hair all the time.

Remember, you're a very charming person.

Oh, no.

You are.

I say so.

And all the funny bits are charming too.

- They're the spice. - You're... You're just saying that.

Oh, don't be coy.

Don't be coy.

I'm not.

- Yes, you are. - You're a liar.

Temper, temper.

Oh, you'll make a sophisticated young lady, all right.

You'll soon play the game like all the rest of them of your sex.

You'll take our compliments for granted. You'll lie.

You'll tease. You'll pretend indifference.

Pretend you're fond of somebody else.

- Is that good? - Oh, certainly.

And you'll refuse our kisses as before, only a little more gracefully.

I've missed my chance, haven't I?

Oh, I think I better go.

Not on your life.

- Beginners have a second shot. - What do you mean?

- We'll do it all over again, shall we? - Really?

Come on, out you go and in you come again.

- You are a sport. - And remember...

I'll remember to be...

...a what-you-said young lady.

We'll dispense with the bathroom episode.

And with some of your laughter.

But not with the first kiss. That's my fee.

Come on, come on. Are you ready?

- Yes, yes. - All right, come on.

Are you there, Mr. Fane?

Is that you, Sylvester? Come in.

Oh, so you're really a girl.

- Yes, yes. I knew you'd be amused. - Oh, what a joke.

And I'm sure that you're glad of the change.

Glad you're a girl?

Well, there's only one way to show it.

There. And you're a jolly girl.

A pretty girl too.

- Gracefully? - Yes, darn you.

Oh, is that one of the compliments?

Well, as a matter of fact, it is.

And here's another one:

You're as fresh and as pretty as a daffodil.

Oh, get out.

A daffodil.

But that's just a common wildflower.

- Oh, and pretty smart, eh? - Oh, ravishing.

- A little extreme. - No, no, no.

It's the latest out-of-the-rain bob, straight from Paris.

Oh, lovely shoes. What size?

A size too large.

And your frock.

Everybody is simply crazy about it.

Especially a girl on the beach.

Oh, you're as graceful as a young willow.

No, you know, really, you're very pretty.

Truly?

Well, look at your arms.

They're long and round...

...and where the sun's been on them, the color of apricots.

And underneath, as white as a lily.

It doesn't matter how badly you hold them.

Perhaps you think it doesn't matter, but there's soap in your ear.

Good heavens, is there? Here.

Here, I say, do you mind?

Oh, your touch is delicious.

Go on, it's gone.

You can't guess what it feels like to see a girl like you bending over one...

...with your greeny eyes, which are as cool and clear...

...as a pool in the woods.

One hopes that you will bend lower...

...and lower.

What idiot's that?

- But I thought you were going on. - Oh, I changed my mind.

But that isn't fair. I can wait for you.

- Why, that's the meanest thing. - Oh, darling.

I know, I'm bad.

I've been so wicked.

Don't scold me too much.

Be nice.

Well...

...you know I always forgive you.

Then why don't you smile at me?

What is she like?

Who? What do you mean?

The one you have in there.

Why, how should you...?

I see her in your eyes.

- Goodbye, mon cher. - No, no, no.

Come and see her in the studio. Why, she'll amuse you.

But who...?

The little Pierrot boy.

But were you a girl dressed as a boy, or are you a boy dressed as a girl?

Sylvester is Sylvia.

How charming.

- How lovely she is. - Yes, isn't she?

And you're very strong. I know that.

I must give you that back.

I'm terribly sorry about last night.

Oh, let's forget about that little wretch Sylvester.

Sylvia's so much more charming.

Perfect.

But you, my friend, do you get up late here, or go to bed early?

Oh, I was just having a bath.

Very nice English custom. The bath in the afternoon.

Oh, well, if you'll forgive me, I'll go and put some things on.

Shan't be three minutes. You can time me.

I haven't a watch.

Isn't he...?

Oh, but this is so lovely.

It's beautiful.

It's a poem.

- Now, what do you mean? - But you can tell me, my dear.

To me, Michael is a very dear friend.

Really?

But I thought, last night, that you...

You and he, well, were...

So that's why you hit me.

You child, you were jealous.

I'm ashamed.

Oh, no. It's natural to love and to be jealous.

And you're very happy?

Yes.

He loves you very much. I see that.

Do you?

How?

- Do you really think so? - Oh, but you must.

He has told you how lovely you are.

Well...

- He's kissed you. - Oh, no.

Yes, he has.

So you must know that he loves you.

Perhaps.

Perhaps he does. I don't know.

Did you time me? Did you time me?

Two minutes, 10 seconds. World's record.

Oh, too bad. You got into your clothes all because of me.

The rest of the world will benefit.

Beauty is never wasted.

- Now, how about some tea, eh? - Oh, yes.

Perhaps I will not stay to tea.

What?

I am always too late.

You have my whole life in that.

Hello, hello. Talking in riddles again. I smell trouble.

I never learn.

I play with things too long and then they hurt me.

I have played with you...

...and you've begged me and forgiven me...

...and I haven't cared.

And suddenly...

...perhaps I do care.

- And now... - Now, what?

You and you.

And you've stolen her from that bad handsome Pierrot man.

Lily, look here. You can't play those blasted tricks on me.

You know I adore you.

But what a pleasant consolation. So pretty, so simple, so innocent.

- Just what you like. - Don't be ridiculous.

Can't you see she's only a mere child?

Why, she knows nothing of that sort of thing.

And anyway...

Darling, forgive me. I'm so silly.

That's better. Now you'll stay?

For a long time?

All right. I'll go make the tea.

Won't be a minute.

I think that I will have to go.

- Goodbye. - Oh, but why?

- Goodbye. - Why, child?

Don't call me child. I'm not.

You see, somebody's waiting for me too.

That bad handsome Pierrot man that he didn't steal me away from.

You don't mean to say that you and that fellow...

Well, why not?

It's just like you and you, and...

Goodbye. I...

He'll be very angry with me if I'm late.

Hello. Going my way, little girl?

Met you before somewhere, haven't I?

Well, well, well.

Well, what's the matter?

Had a bit of a disappointment at the studio, eh?

Didn't come up to scratch, did he?

Well, you stay among your own pals.

And from now on we're gonna be a proper little foursome, you know that?

I like you.

What...? What, you...?

You come out in your true colors?

Oh, don't do that, my dear.

Keep hid, keep hid.

What's the matter with you, Father? Are you drunk?

She's gone shopping.

Do you think she's gone shopping, eh?

I keep on fancying that she's with that fellow.

She...

Here's little buttercup.

- Thank heaven, you've come. - I brought you some nice bloaters...

Holy snakes.

I don't believe it. You're a...

Yes, I'm a girl. You're surprised. You never dreamed it.

Maybe you can't believe it, but still I'm a girl. More's the pity.

I must have another look at her.

Let her alone, can't you see she's upset?

Now go on. Get the tea ready, so we can start packing.

- Packing? - Yes, we're moving off.

Who says so?

I says so, we all says so. Now, look slippy.

Well, I say we ain't going.

Oh, yes, yes. We must go, my dear.

Because this place, it's getting me down.

I get crazy ideas here.

I keep on thinking some fellow's following you about.

Oh, but of course, now...

Now that I know we're going away, I know it's all right.

It's all tommyrot. It's... It's... But sometimes, you know...

Sometimes, he seems as real to me as...

As that rat there.

All right. Go on up and get the bloaters cooked.

Then make your little arrangements. Here's the grub.

Make me little arrangements, eh?

Perhaps I will, then, after all.

Maudie!

Where are you, Maudie?

Maudie!

Maudie!

Maudie, Maudie.

She's gone. She's gone.

- Where did she go? - I don't know.

I woke up with the thunder and... She's gone.

- No. Don't go out there. - She's gone.

Maybe she'll come back.

- I must find her. I must. - No, you...

- No. - Let me go!

- No. - I must find her.

Oh, Father!

Maudie, Maudie.

Father. Father, come back!

You'll never find her! Don't be a fool!

Father! Father, answer me!

Father, please! No, no, he won't.

You'll never find him in weather like this. He'll come back.

Go on. Take those things off and go back to bed.

No, no, I have to find him.

He's scared. He's drunk. I must go find him.

- Here, give me that lantern. - Why, are you going too?

- Of course I am. Come on. - Yes, hurry.

- Henry! - Father!

- Henry! - Father!

- Henry, where are you? - Father!

Look, the door's still open. He hasn't come back yet.

He's probably safe and sound somewhere...

...taking his rest while we've been walking ourselves to death all night.

- No, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute. - No.

I'll go. You stay here.

I know.

Now, take it easy. Take it easy.

Poor kid.

Now, now, don't take it too hard.

Poor old thing.

Well, he's out of his misery.

- Let's go down. - All right.

Remember how jolly he was when we first started out?

Everything's always jolly when you start out.

Yeah.

Hard liquor and a soft heart.

That's what you might say he died of.

Oh, well.

Pity she got ahold of him, though.

Pity anybody ever gets hold of anybody.

Here, what's the matter? You still fretting about that artist?

- No, no. - Oh, I should hope not.

Why, the fella didn't even bother to come and give you a word of sympathy.

Treated you like a worn-out glove.

Well, let's forget about it.

That's the stuff.

How I look at it...

...maybe we ain't good enough for some people.

I'll tell you the truth, though...

...I got an eyeful of that Russian girl of his.

Saw her up in town yesterday, and the day before.

Oh, well, what of it?

- What of it? - Nix.

Whereas you and me, we suit.

And there's a little bit of warm heartedness too, you know?

Yes, I know.

Of course you do.

Who else is fond of you like I am, eh?

Nobody.

- Nobody. - That's it.

Here, I'll tell you what.

Let's you and me muck along together, eh, and let the rest of the world go to pot.

What do you say?

All right, then.

That's it.

Here.

No, not... here.

Let's wait until we get away from here. It won't be long.

Now, it won't be more than 10 minutes.

I'll go down and get the water buckets at the trough and then we'll get going.

And, kid...

Michael! Michael!

Michael! Michael!

Michael! Help!

Michael! Michael!

Monk! Monk!

Monk! Monk!

What is it, Syl?

Michael! Michael!

What's up, Syl?

- Hey, Syl, where are you? - Help! Help!

Help!

Oh, Michael!

Help.

Well, I suppose you better go and get Mr. Fane.

Something fishy about this.

Let's hear what she has to say.

That's none of our business.

Let him come and take her away. That's all we want, isn't it?

I suppose so.

Look. Look.

She looks...

I don't know.

Broken.

And so, so lovely.

Who'd think she could be such a beast?

Well...

...I suppose it's just her luck, like mine.

Why haven't you gone?

Who's errand boy do you think I am?

If he wants his girl, let him take better care of her.

It ain't my job to fetch and carry for Mr. Curly Headed Artist.

Well, I'll go myself.

Well, well. You're a proper little cupid, aren't you?

Hey, I thought you hated her.

Well...

...I hated her because of something.

But now I see.

Monk, she must be terribly in love with him.

Think of it.

She was ready to die.

That must mean a terrible lot.

And...

...he loves her.

I know, you see. It's wrong, wrong.

She don't even think of that.

Look here...

...if she'd met a good-looking yokel on her way to the water...

...she wouldn't be here now.

You've got the mind of a pig.

It's a pig's world.

Maybe...

...for you and me...

...but not for her, if I can help it.

I'm glad you didn't go to him.

I'll go to him myself...

...and I'll tell him what she did and what she's like.

And then he'll come and take her...

...and they'll be happy again.

And you and I can go.

Mr. Fane.

Oh, Sylvia.

My dear, I'm sorry about your father.

I was coming tonight. I didn't hear about it till this afternoon.

Listen, your friend is at the caravan.

Yes. You must come to her. You must be very kind to her.

Put everything right, no matter what the trouble was.

Because she... She tried to drown herself.

Good heavens, is she all right?

- Yes, nearly. I mean... - Oh, thank goodness.

But it isn't right for her to be unhappy like that. You mustn't let her be.

- She was saved this time. - By whom? Who saved her?

- Come on. - You. You did, didn't you?

- Yes. - Oh, bless your heart.

Come on, come on. The car's outside. Hurry up.

It's gone. It's gone.

Gone?

Do you think she got worse?

Could he have run her down to the doctor's?

- Yes, that must be it. - No, that isn't it at all.

- What? - We must save her.

Save her? From what?

- Monkley. - Monkley?

The dirty swine. He's run off with her. She was helpless.

- Is he a lunatic or what? - No, he wanted her. He'd do anything.

I'll break his neck.

- They can't have been gone 10 minutes. - Five miles in that thing.

We'll get him.

Well, which way?

- Which way could they have gone? - Straight into...

Wait. There's a house there. I'll ask them.

Well, run, run. I'll have a look this way.

Have you seen a caravan pass by?

What's a caravan?

Well, it's a little house on wheels.

- The gypsies have them. - What is it?

Have you seen a Pierrot caravan pass by?

Why, yes, one passed here just a short time ago.

Really?

- Wait a minute. - What?

- My dress. - Oh, no, no.

No, no, it's a matter of life and death.

- No! - This girl stole my dress.

Sylvia, where have you got to?

Come on.

- Whose clothes are those? - Mine.

- But the dress? - Hers. Come on.

- What, the girl on the beach? - Yes.

Well, don't laugh. I got the information. They went that way. Oh, hurry.

- Oh, oh, heavens. - Oh, oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, crippled.

- Now what are we going to do? - Oh, dear.

Well, let's get away from this place, anyway.

Oh, I am sorry. Can you...?

- Yeah, you sure you can drive? - Yes, yes.

- Go carefully. - Oh, I can drive.

- Careful now. - Yes, I will.

- Hey, wait a minute. - Hey, we're in a hurry.

Looks like it, young man. Show me your license.

Oh, show some sense. This is important.

- License, please. - Don't talk like a fool.

- Let's see if you've been drinking. - No, I haven't. Take your hands off me.

No, I won't.

- I'm sorry. It didn't mean anything. - No, you're hurting me.

Stop it!

Well, this is a pretty mess we're in.

Well, you simply should have been more careful with that policeman.

- Well, I like that. - Inside.

Right. Catch me standing up for you next time.

I can stand up for myself, thank you.

Speed's all very well, that was madness.

Considering who we were after?

Yes, considering you can't drive.

Can't drive?

Can't drive?

Well, you're just nervous.

- Oh, you... - If I was after a girl, I shouldn't care.

- You happen to be after something different. - Don't talk to me.

- I don't want to. - Then don't.

- I won't. - All right, then.

You'll get supper right away, see the magistrate in the morning.

Oh, come on.

Is it bad?

I don't know. No, I don't think so.

Oh, yes, it is. Yes, it is, and I did it, clumsy fool.

Yes.

Clumsy, impetuous, generous...

...warmhearted fool.

Now, why did you say that?

Oh, I don't know. It just said itself.

Now, now. I know you're tired, but sit still.

- I'm getting it. I'm getting it. - I will.

Oh, the light was kinder than I am.

Well, now you can go to sleep.

But...

But...

What?

Well...

Well, I mean, I...

Don't you think I ought to tell them?

Tell them what?

Well, that I'm a girl.

- Oh, no, no. - No?

It would cause all kinds of bother.

Why, they might keep us here for hours, days.

After all, we've gotta get on.

Oh, yes, yes. We've gotta find them. Yes.

Well...

...you stretch out here...

...and I'll make myself comfortable on the floor.

- Oh, yes. All right. - There we are.

- That's fine. - Yes.

Oh, now, you take the pillow, because I never use one.

- Oh, thanks. - Oh, my goodness. Yes.

Once we get out of here, we'll leave the car and take the train to London.

And then...

Then, what?

Well, if I know Lily, she'll be taking your precious Monkley to Paris.

We'll get him back for you on the boat train.

Or he'll be taking her to the race courses. Oh, you'll have her back in no time.

Come on. I'm as hungry as a hunter.

- I think the dining car's up forward here. - Wait till we go to Paris.

Wait till we go to Paris.

Oh, Sylvia, what is it?

Well, nothing. I just wanted to say that I do love my new costume.

- Thank you very much. - That's all right.

Hello. That's it, dinner.

That's what I need. You too, I expect.

- No, no, not me. - What?

I mean, I'd much rather wait for the second dinner.

- It might seem greedy to go for the first. - Don't be absurd.

No, matter of fact, I...

I have a headache, you see.

Yes, you look a bit strained. Where is it?

Oh, oh, yes, there.

Oh, what you need is tea.

- I'll get you some. - No, no...

No arguments. No arguments.

While I'm there, I'll have a bite myself. To be perfectly frank, I'm ravenous.

Oh, dear.

Well...

Oh, dear.

- Oh, is there plenty of room? - Any amount, sir.

- Over here, sir. - Oh, but the train food is so horrible.

There was such an awful crush, I couldn't get near the place.

Well...

Headache better?

Yes. Now. I mean, much, much better.

Oh, say, I think I'll pull the blinds down.

- It might come back, you know. - No.

What will you do if we don't find them?

We shall find them.

Yes. Yes, I'm afraid so.

Afraid?

Well, yes. You know how I disapprove of you and Monkley.

Don't trouble about me.

- Come on, getting up from the table...? - How dare you speak to me like this.

There they are.

Yes.

Well, we've got them.

- And now... - Come on.

We'll give them the surprise of their lives, won't we?

Come on, let's get them.

- Let's get them. - Yes, let's... Let's hurry.

Wait a minute.

Before I go in there, I have something I wanna say to you.

You're everything that's fresh and lovely and sweet and brave and good.

I don't know what I'm going to do without you, and I don't care. You understand?

- Now, I'll go in and get you your Monkley. - Monkley? Hang Monkley.

- But why? - Because I love you. You know it.

- I never guessed any... - Never guessed that I adore you?

Never guessed you've made the world different for me?

I tell you, I love you.

Oh, I've longed for you.

It's five whole days now and it seems like my whole life.

I... I... I worship you.

- Oh, my dear. - No, no.

Paris. Paris or I go back to him.

You're staying here with Jimmy, see?

- You and me are gonna get hitched up. - I'm going to another compartment.

- Where do you think you're going? - No, let me alone.

Get in there. Now, don't get rorty with me.

What will we do if she comes in here?

Nothing at all. Ridiculous train will kill me.

Anyhow, I'm going to stay at the Claridge's.

All my friends are there. Oliver and Cecil, going to do lovely pictures of me.

I might stay at the Ritz if you want, but why shouldn't I stop at the Claridge's?

All my friends are there. George is waiting. Why should I see all your common friends?

Did you see anyone get off the train?

No.

Well, that's that.

If not, I go back to Michael.

He loves me. He adores me.

I have broken his heart, I know, poor man.

What's this?

How dare you. Are you laughing at me?

I've never seen such a thing in my life.