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1
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Hey. You know
the 5th grade starts tomorrow again.
2
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What?! Does that mean
we have to get up at 8:00?
3
00:00:22,541 --> 00:00:23,458
Oh, calm down.
4
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:26,416
- You slept 95% of the summer.
- Yeah.
5
00:00:36,041 --> 00:00:41,541
♪ Last year of elementary school
Last year of bein' a kid ♪
6
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:44,041
♪ Being on top ♪
7
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♪ I'm gonna go out swingin' ♪
8
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:50,875
♪ Toy soldiers
Dippin' Dots, fun-size bars ♪
9
00:00:50,958 --> 00:00:54,750
♪ Slip 'N slides
Fart noises, chicken stars ♪
10
00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:58,625
♪ Until they tell me to stop ♪
11
00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:03,208
♪ Last year of elementary school
Biggest kid on campus ♪
12
00:01:03,291 --> 00:01:05,000
♪ I got it made ♪
13
00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:08,458
♪ Sit down, son!
I own all you dorks ♪
14
00:01:08,541 --> 00:01:11,750
♪ I'm so stoked
I was held back in third grade ♪
15
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:14,541
♪ Okay, okay
So we will not invite Cara ♪
16
00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:16,125
♪ Oh my God, I hate her ♪
17
00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:17,833
♪ Sabrina's kind of cool ♪
18
00:01:17,916 --> 00:01:19,416
♪ We do not do 4th graders ♪
19
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:23,250
-♪ So we make a list of friends? ♪
-♪ Yes, with no weirdos on it ♪
20
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,208
-What about Summer?
-Yeah, she's nice.
21
00:01:25,291 --> 00:01:26,666
Uh, vomit.
22
00:01:27,666 --> 00:01:30,125
-Summer, where's Mommy?
-I'll put you to bed tonight, Kayla.
23
00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:32,041
We're getting older.
Mom'll be gone someday.
24
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:33,958
It's 5th grade. Time to be a grown-up.
25
00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:36,791
-Where did she--
-I won't drink coffee or like boys.
26
00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:39,500
-I'll fill my own water bottle, get bangs.
-Is she still gonna--
27
00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:41,750
Everyone got bangs,
but my forehead's getting bigger.
28
00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:44,958
I don't wanna look like a parade float
or an alien and be the talk--
29
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♪ Five more minutes ♪
30
00:01:48,291 --> 00:01:51,458
♪ Cole, this year
You have to get up on your own ♪
31
00:01:51,541 --> 00:01:52,750
♪ Five more minutes ♪
32
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:55,875
- ♪ Okay, five more minutes ♪
- Way to be strong, Dad.
33
00:01:57,166 --> 00:01:59,041
♪ Lessening ♪
34
00:01:59,125 --> 00:02:02,333
♪ They say my nut allergies
Are lessening ♪
35
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:10,666
♪ Once the immune boosters kick in
I can try the kung pao chicken ♪
36
00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:15,291
♪ Welcome, 5th graders
Go right through this door ♪
37
00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:20,625
♪ 'Cause this year, your homerooms
Are on the second floor ♪
38
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,541
The big time!
39
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:25,458
♪ Please don't step on
The kindergartners ♪
40
00:02:30,375 --> 00:02:32,083
Going to Westlake next year?
41
00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:34,708
My cousin said
there's a kid who smokes there.
42
00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:37,875
- You see anything?
- No. A lot of yappin'. Come on.
43
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,666
- Ah, there we go.
- All right.
44
00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:42,833
Another year, another batch
of 5th grade head cases.
45
00:02:42,916 --> 00:02:44,875
Kabir, Anthony, welcome.
46
00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:48,208
You from New York, new guy? Patriots suck!
47
00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:49,500
That's New England.
48
00:02:49,583 --> 00:02:52,333
-I think your shirt's on backwards.
-Come on!
49
00:02:52,416 --> 00:02:55,500
-Look at this. Bunch of motormouths.
-Yep. Same old, same old.
50
00:02:55,583 --> 00:02:57,625
I saw Cara in a sweater from Gymboree.
51
00:02:57,708 --> 00:02:59,750
-There's the snotty clique.
-Tween Queens.
52
00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:02,500
-The Facade Squad.
-Peaking at 11.
53
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:06,000
-The "sick and should've stayed home" kid.
-Always one.
54
00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:08,666
There's the class clown
who secretly despises himself.
55
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,166
That's hysterical, Cole!
56
00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,958
-Thanks, Cole!
-Jeez, how many Coles this year?
57
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:16,291
Reminds me
of the Justin avalanche of 1991.
58
00:03:16,375 --> 00:03:18,458
God forbid we ever see a Richie again.
59
00:03:18,541 --> 00:03:21,208
Bro, no way, are you taller than me now?
60
00:03:21,291 --> 00:03:23,333
The inevitable Cheez Doodle kid.
61
00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:25,458
No,
those look like Dorito fingers.
62
00:03:25,541 --> 00:03:27,541
-We just moved from the Bronx.
-You're new? Wow.
63
00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:31,416
That's hard. Never had to leave friends,
except when we went to Myrtle Beach.
64
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,750
On the flight home,
the old lady next to me had arthritis.
65
00:03:33,833 --> 00:03:35,166
I opened her mustard packet.
66
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:37,166
- First child.
- No filter.
67
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,583
Never heard the word "enough."
68
00:03:39,666 --> 00:03:41,875
Okay, guys. Are you excited?
69
00:03:41,958 --> 00:03:45,083
Most of you have been going
to this school for five years.
70
00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:47,708
Some of you, seven.
And now you're the big kids.
71
00:03:47,791 --> 00:03:51,750
I hope everyone's met our class pets,
Leonardo and Squirtle.
72
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:53,041
I'm not touching those things.
73
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:55,541
Don't they eat, sleep and poo
in the same place?
74
00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:57,791
Hey! I poo where he sleeps.
75
00:03:57,875 --> 00:03:59,083
Now what if I told you
76
00:03:59,166 --> 00:04:02,666
there's a big reward at the end
of this year if you do well in class?
77
00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:04,583
The Academicathalon thing?
78
00:04:04,666 --> 00:04:07,541
Look at her work these kids.
Salinas, what a pro.
79
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:10,125
Best since Ms. Bielecky in the '60s.
80
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:13,375
And what if I told you
this year's winning class
81
00:04:13,458 --> 00:04:16,375
gets a field trip to somewhere special
for a whole day?
82
00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:18,708
Yeah!
83
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:19,625
Wow!
84
00:04:19,708 --> 00:04:21,833
-Salinas havin' a baby?
-The belly's poppin' a little.
85
00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:25,416
Oh, Zane, I'm afraid
you can't bring snacks into the class.
86
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:26,916
I'll hold those, just for now.
87
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,958
Cheetos. Wow, didn't see that coming.
88
00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:32,541
At the end of the year,
our three 5th grade classes
89
00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:36,500
compete in art,
debating, science, and history.
90
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:40,375
And if our class wins,
we get a trip to Magic Land Park!
91
00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:44,625
Don't they have the Dragon Coaster?
I heard it caught fire once!
92
00:04:44,708 --> 00:04:48,166
-Yeah, it was banned in Europe.
-Yes, but not in Florida.
93
00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:50,458
Yep, havin' a baby.
94
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:53,583
Okay. Let's see
how much you guys already know.
95
00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:56,166
Who knows what you call it when a plant…
96
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,250
…converts light to food?
97
00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:00,500
- The conversion's photosynthesis…
- Photosynthesis.
98
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:03,416
- …turning H2O and CO2 into glucose.
- Into glucose.
99
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,333
- Ah.
- Excellent job, Mia.
100
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:09,041
Oh. So…
101
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:10,916
Oh, boy. Divorced parents.
102
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,791
Okay, honey. Thank you.
103
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:14,958
You're okay. So sweet.
104
00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:16,083
Okay.
105
00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:19,208
Let's look at some of the books
we're gonna read in class this year.
106
00:05:19,291 --> 00:05:21,166
Who's heard of Charlotte's Web?
107
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,833
Oh no. The kids always cry at the end.
108
00:05:23,916 --> 00:05:27,000
Like kids don't cry enough?
We gotta trigger the garden hoses?
109
00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:28,833
-Crying's for weaklings.
-Right.
110
00:05:28,916 --> 00:05:31,041
We'll meet Fern and her pig, Wilbur.
111
00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:32,791
It's a stupid book anyway.
112
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:36,750
-Right. Animals never talk to people.
-Plus, no one gets to eat Charlotte.
113
00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:39,958
You just have to hear
about this delicious spider for days
114
00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:41,833
and get hungry thinkin' about it.
115
00:05:41,916 --> 00:05:44,000
…like you'll learn this year.
116
00:05:44,083 --> 00:05:47,375
Sorry, Cole?
Is there something you wanna share?
117
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,458
That's so gross!
118
00:05:50,541 --> 00:05:54,000
I can't believe you did that!
119
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:55,833
Sorry, guys.
120
00:05:55,916 --> 00:05:58,250
Man, that smells good.
121
00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:01,875
Send some of that our way next time.
Gettin' sick of the lettuce.
122
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:04,708
Hi, Mrs. Salinas!
123
00:06:08,666 --> 00:06:11,083
-Hi, I'm Cole Wiseki's mom.
-Oh, hi.
124
00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:12,833
Can I-- Real quick? For Facebook?
125
00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:14,625
Thanks.
126
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,750
-Cole is a very--
-That's gonna look great. Thank you.
127
00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,916
Since when do people
wanna look like ducks?
128
00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:23,208
Isn't that something,
how they've grown?
129
00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:26,750
And in 5th grade, you'll find your kids
wanting to make their own choices.
130
00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:29,416
Embrace it.
Let them make their own mistakes.
131
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,916
How long does this go?
132
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,750
Not terribly long, Dr. Wenger.
133
00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:35,833
Now, some of you may have heard
about Mrs. Salinas', uh,
134
00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:37,291
incident in class.
135
00:06:37,375 --> 00:06:42,166
I want to confirm it has nothing to do
with anything she ate in the cafeteria.
136
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:45,750
She's just gonna be taking some time off.
A leave, let's say.
137
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:47,333
Wait. For how long?
138
00:06:47,416 --> 00:06:48,833
Here comes the bomb.
139
00:06:48,916 --> 00:06:52,083
For, uh… Till she has the baby, let's say.
140
00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:54,750
- What?!
- Having a baby?
141
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:57,333
Are you sure?
Did she get a second opinion?
142
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,833
Are you kidding me?
This is what happened in 3rd grade!
143
00:06:59,916 --> 00:07:01,083
The substitute was awful!
144
00:07:01,166 --> 00:07:04,333
I'm texting my daughter right now!
She'll be devastated!
145
00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:44,375
You can't just say that!
146
00:07:44,458 --> 00:07:47,333
Look at these lazy class pets.
Do they even move?
147
00:07:47,416 --> 00:07:50,041
-I'd like that job.
-That lizard looks pretty old.
148
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:51,416
Do I look old?
149
00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:53,208
Mm-mm.
150
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:54,125
Thank you.
151
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:58,583
It's a Tuatara. They live a long time.
Till about 75.
152
00:07:58,666 --> 00:08:01,916
Hmm. Never knew that.
Suck on that, hamsters.
153
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,166
Wow. Looks like
he's gettin' close to that.
154
00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:07,041
Bye. Nice seeing you.
155
00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:08,416
Ah, he's nuts.
156
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:12,416
I mean, you're old, cranky, lazy,
but no way does that make you 75.
157
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,291
Seventy-five.
Seventy-five. Seventy-five.
158
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:26,666
Underneath it says,
159
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:29,916
"Here men from the planet Earth
first set foot upon the Moon."
160
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,041
We came in peace--
161
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,791
1949.
162
00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:41,000
-What about it?
-I was born around then.
163
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:43,666
How many years has it been since 1949?
164
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:45,250
No idea. That's addition.
165
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:47,583
They learn that in 2nd grade.
We're all about fractions.
166
00:08:47,666 --> 00:08:51,333
Great. Why can't they move us
around a little, so we can know more?
167
00:08:57,958 --> 00:09:01,291
Okay, four sixteenths equals
how many fourths?
168
00:09:04,083 --> 00:09:06,958
-She's leaving. They don't hear a word.
-1966, 1967…
169
00:09:07,041 --> 00:09:10,041
-What're you doin'?
-Trying to count how many years old I am.
170
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:13,083
1968, 1969, 1970…
171
00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:16,208
I'm out of toes and fingers.
What else can I count with?
172
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:19,541
I'd tell you, but there's kids around.
173
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,708
I was talkin' about his tail.
174
00:09:21,791 --> 00:09:25,000
Addition… I…
I gotta talk to some 2nd grade pets.
175
00:09:25,083 --> 00:09:28,000
Forget it.
We only see those pets at fire drills.
176
00:09:28,083 --> 00:09:30,000
They don't happen until November.
177
00:09:30,083 --> 00:09:32,708
What the--
178
00:09:32,791 --> 00:09:35,000
- Huh? What?
- Is this a fire drill?
179
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:38,750
It's probably nothing, but let's go.
Anthony, why don't you grab the pets?
180
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:44,000
Everyone evacuate! Stop, drop and roll!
181
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,541
I think I'm on fire!
182
00:09:48,916 --> 00:09:50,916
Jeez, we just redecorated!
183
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,458
Someday, cops are gonna
carry that kid off a plane. Huh?
184
00:09:54,541 --> 00:09:56,958
I'll park ya right over here, fellas.
185
00:09:57,041 --> 00:09:58,958
All right, here we go.
186
00:09:59,041 --> 00:10:01,958
Hey, guys, how was your summer?
Do anything fun?
187
00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:03,666
-Sleep.
-Sleep.
188
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:06,041
-Eat.
-Lot of poopin'.
189
00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:09,125
Terrific. Say, who's 2nd grade again?
190
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:11,291
-That's me. How ya doin', Lizzy?
-Great.
191
00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:16,750
I'm actually Leonardo. Lizzy's the iguana
in Mr. Marculia's homeroom. You're…
192
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:20,583
I'm Cinnabun. I know. So corny.
Just got renamed again.
193
00:10:20,666 --> 00:10:22,333
Oh. Well, beats "Thumper."
194
00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:27,416
I guess. What's bad are the Hare ones.
Hare Brain, Hare Piece, Hare-y Potter…
195
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:31,208
Right, right. Hey, the 2nd graders,
you guys do addition, right?
196
00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:33,291
…Hare Lip, Hare Club For Men.
197
00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:34,958
Yes, and subtraction. We do both.
198
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:38,916
Great, okay, look. If I got here in 1949,
199
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,666
and it's 2023, what does that make me?
200
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,333
Oh. Uh, I know this one. A reptile.
201
00:10:45,416 --> 00:10:46,750
Shmuck.
202
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:49,500
Okay, it was a false alarm.
203
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:51,750
The school is not on fire.
204
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,833
No, how old would I be?
205
00:10:56,916 --> 00:11:01,375
No. Right, subtraction.
Okay, um, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, 74.
206
00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:04,583
- Seventy-four. Isn't that right before--
- Upsy-daisies.
207
00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:06,500
Wait, wait! Hold on!
208
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,583
That's the number before 75, isn't it?
209
00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:13,708
What's the matter? You look upset.
210
00:11:14,958 --> 00:11:17,541
Cinnabun!
211
00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:19,708
Settle down.
212
00:11:19,791 --> 00:11:22,416
I'm a lizard. Ooh.
213
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,583
That's good. Don't dignify it.
214
00:11:24,666 --> 00:11:26,958
Doesn't matter. I'm doomed.
215
00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:30,250
I'm 74 seventy-fifths dead.
216
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,458
What? That's not for class pets.
217
00:11:32,541 --> 00:11:35,166
When you're in captivity,
75 is the new 70.
218
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:38,625
And, hey, you wanna live so bad,
a little exercise wouldn't kill ya.
219
00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:41,083
-Like what?
-Blinking's good. That'd be a start.
220
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,166
- I blink.
- Barely.
221
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:44,083
Fine.
222
00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:53,916
Okay. You didn't have to dive right in.
223
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,166
Who am I kiddin'?
224
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:59,458
I can't start this rigorous workin' out
at this point in my life.
225
00:11:59,541 --> 00:12:01,958
It's too late. I blew it.
226
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:04,000
I wasted my life!
227
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,625
And now, it's almost over.
228
00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:11,958
♪ When a man has to face ♪
229
00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:15,166
♪ That he's about to die ♪
230
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:19,625
♪ He thinks of all the things
He'd never done ♪
231
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:24,041
♪ I never ate a snail ♪
232
00:12:24,125 --> 00:12:27,333
♪ Never got to hunt a fly ♪
233
00:12:27,416 --> 00:12:32,083
♪ Just had them fed to me by everyone ♪
234
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:39,291
♪ Never ate algae straight from the sea ♪
235
00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:45,791
♪ Never got nothin' but lettuce
Always lands in Squirtle's pee ♪
236
00:12:46,416 --> 00:12:49,958
♪ I never stole a bird's eggs ♪
237
00:12:50,041 --> 00:12:52,833
♪ Never chased a squirrel ♪
238
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:56,833
♪ Never got to show my slick moves ♪
239
00:12:56,916 --> 00:12:58,916
♪ To a girl ♪
240
00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:40,000
Go about your business.
241
00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:42,416
Everyone, meet your new teacher.
242
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:45,458
This is our substitute?
243
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:47,750
You have to leave? So soon?
244
00:13:47,833 --> 00:13:50,958
Well, my doctor thinks I need
to rest through my pregnancy.
245
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:53,666
So until I'm back, you'll have Ms. Malkin.
246
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,625
It's not brain surgery, gang.
247
00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:59,708
Guys, you don't have to be afraid
of change.
248
00:13:59,791 --> 00:14:02,208
Change is a beautiful part of life.
249
00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:05,208
♪ There's a time for trees ♪
250
00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:08,375
♪ To lose their leaves ♪
251
00:14:08,458 --> 00:14:13,375
♪ And a time those leaves return ♪
252
00:14:14,708 --> 00:14:17,541
-Oh, I don't sing.
-Oh, okay.
253
00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:21,666
How about we continue with the class.
I'm gonna teach with Ms. Malkin today--
254
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,333
-Please don't leave us, Mrs. Salinas!
-Oh.
255
00:14:24,416 --> 00:14:26,833
Agh! Down! Now! Down!
256
00:14:26,916 --> 00:14:28,333
No hug! Sit!
257
00:14:28,416 --> 00:14:32,666
In class, we sit up straight,
pay attention, and we are what? You!
258
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:35,750
What? Oh, my God. Um, we're quiet?
259
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:38,875
That's very good listening, Logan.
That's a heart for you.
260
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,875
The hearts are for when the kids listen.
To motivate good--
261
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:53,208
Listening is not a favor.
262
00:14:53,291 --> 00:14:56,625
When you listen, you get knowledge,
not a carnival prize.
263
00:14:56,708 --> 00:15:02,541
We have a chance to go to Magic--
264
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:03,958
Ew. What was that?
265
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:06,625
Peanut butter and ham. My dad overslept.
266
00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:14,500
Okay, well, we're out of time,
so let's wish Mrs. Salinas well. Bye-bye.
267
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:17,166
-But, I-- The class is--
-No, no. I know. Out we go.
268
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,750
-Better luck with your own kid.
-Okay, guys, see you in--
269
00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:28,625
Moving on. It's Friday. That means
one student has to take home a class pet.
270
00:15:28,708 --> 00:15:31,500
-What's this now?
-Uh, we don't do that here.
271
00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:32,791
Not anymore. No way.
272
00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:36,958
In my classroom,
you will learn responsibility.
273
00:15:37,041 --> 00:15:40,916
You will feed it properly
and return it in healthy condition.
274
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:41,916
Alive.
275
00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:44,583
Do we have a volunteer?
276
00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:49,208
-Come on. Somebody raise your hand.
-What?
277
00:15:49,291 --> 00:15:53,583
Remember what happens at the kids' houses?
They forget to feed you or abuse you.
278
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:59,000
It'll grow back.
279
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:09,916
-Yeesh.
-Hey, it looked cool in the '90s.
280
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,666
I'm waiting. Volunteer, please.
281
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,791
Don't you get it? This is my shot.
282
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:18,208
So I go with one of these kids,
case the house for open windows,
283
00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,583
then when I'm alone, zip! I escape.
284
00:16:20,666 --> 00:16:25,125
-Ha. You couldn't zip when you were 20.
-I'm zipping. And then I really live.
285
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:28,833
Maybe climb a tree. Swim in a sewer.
See the Everglades.
286
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:32,458
The Everglades?
With those untamed animals? Are you nuts?
287
00:16:32,541 --> 00:16:35,166
You know they don't even have names,
right? It's anarchy.
288
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,875
You think a rock potato like you
can survive there?
289
00:16:37,958 --> 00:16:40,750
- Your last days will be in a beer can.
- Let's go.
290
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,375
Who's gonna take on some responsibility?
291
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:46,041
-Or do I have to pick?
-Well, if no one else will…
292
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:48,666
I don't want them to feel not wanted.
Everybody wants to fit in
293
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:51,625
and shouldn't be judged
on looks, species, foreheads.
294
00:16:51,708 --> 00:16:53,750
I have to go indoor skydiving tomorrow,
295
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:56,166
but my father'll be home,
so if it's okay to--
296
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:57,750
-Pick one!
-Okay, the lizard!
297
00:17:07,458 --> 00:17:11,708
Listen, when you're out there in the wild
and those animals come after you,
298
00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:15,250
remember to change your colors
and blend in!
299
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:19,291
-That's chameleons. I'm not a chameleon.
-Oh, well, then you're a dead man.
300
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,458
Tomorrow's indoor skydiving.
We have to get ready.
301
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:28,125
It's exactly like skydiving,
except you can't get hurt.
302
00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:30,375
Okay, we have a busy weekend.
303
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:33,750
Do I have to wear a dress to Grandma's?
It'll be pants weather on Sunday.
304
00:17:33,833 --> 00:17:37,583
Jayda said the word "puke".
She said it wasn’t a curse word. Is it?
305
00:17:37,666 --> 00:17:40,708
I feel bad leaving him.
Nobody wants him near the dinner table.
306
00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:42,416
He's good with his water. Back soon!
307
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:45,458
Kayla, don't look scared of him.
That's being mean.
308
00:17:55,250 --> 00:17:56,541
It's on.
309
00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:16,500
Yeah.
310
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,541
He's nice, the new kid Kabir,
but he doesn't talk a lot,
311
00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:31,875
at least not with me.
Maybe he's shy since…
312
00:18:37,541 --> 00:18:40,625
Then I burned my tongue.
It didn't, like, burn off completely,
313
00:18:40,708 --> 00:18:43,875
or I couldn't tell you
how I ate my mozzarella sticks.
314
00:18:57,666 --> 00:19:02,083
Hey, Leonardo. You missed a great movie.
Tomorrow I'll take you down for breakfast.
315
00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:06,250
I hope they have everything bagels left.
I don't know why we get sesame bagels.
316
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:10,333
Mom asked me to try one, I was like,
"Why would you take off the poppy seeds
317
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:11,291
and the salt…"
318
00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:13,041
Wait, where are you?
319
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:16,083
This is a nightmare!
I'll be the kid who killed the lizard,
320
00:19:16,166 --> 00:19:18,000
no matter what I do in my life.
321
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:21,250
Whether I do drama, be a doctor--
I'll never be a doctor now.
322
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:24,375
I could work at the DMV.
Hopefully, the one next to Quiznos.
323
00:19:24,458 --> 00:19:27,416
I don't wanna go far from my parents.
324
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,375
Mother of Godzilla!
325
00:19:29,458 --> 00:19:30,375
What was that?
326
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:32,916
Well? Who said that?
327
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:38,416
The wall? Walls don't talk.
Why would a wall say anything?
328
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:41,375
Why point to it?
They say, "If these walls could talk,"
329
00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:42,708
because they can't talk--
330
00:19:42,791 --> 00:19:44,625
The trophy!
331
00:19:44,708 --> 00:19:47,333
You said something! You just spoke! Mom!
332
00:19:47,416 --> 00:19:48,708
-No!
-You talked!
333
00:19:48,791 --> 00:19:49,875
You're talking!
334
00:19:49,958 --> 00:19:52,125
I'm telling Mom,
or people will think I'm crazy.
335
00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:55,125
I'll have to go to that school
in Tampa for kids with issues! I--
336
00:19:55,208 --> 00:19:57,750
But please, people can't know!
337
00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:01,458
-Why are your hands wet?
-They're naturally moist.
338
00:20:01,541 --> 00:20:03,791
Please, I'm begging you to keep quiet.
339
00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:05,333
If people know I talk,
340
00:20:05,416 --> 00:20:07,916
they'll send me
to a scientist or something.
341
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,541
-But I have to tell someone.
-Please.
342
00:20:11,708 --> 00:20:14,500
You're the only one
who can hear me.
343
00:20:14,583 --> 00:20:17,375
Oh. Then why are you whispering?
344
00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:20,333
Because you were,
and it sounded fun.
345
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:24,375
Do all lizards talk?
346
00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:29,416
I don't know. I never met them all,
but we never talk to humans.
347
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,875
- Why are you talking to me?
- Well, I didn't…
348
00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:37,083
Because I want to. I think you're nice.
349
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:39,041
Really? Thanks.
350
00:20:39,125 --> 00:20:42,458
I don't know if people think I'm nice.
It's so hard to read people at school.
351
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:44,416
People say you're nice to be nice,
352
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:47,083
and if they say you're nice,
you'll think they're cool--
353
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:48,166
I get it.
354
00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:50,208
You say "I get it" a lot.
355
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:55,000
That's 'cause I understand things.
That's all. "I get it." I've been around.
356
00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:58,166
-Okay. I thought it was something else.
-Like what?
357
00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:01,708
-That you want me to stop talking.
-Oh. Wow.
358
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,833
Really? Like, "Wow, that's crazy"?
359
00:21:03,916 --> 00:21:08,416
No, more like, "Wow,
I didn't think you were that self-aware."
360
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,916
I can tell. People are too nice
to say I talk too much,
361
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,208
but I can tell from their faces
that I'm talking too much.
362
00:21:14,291 --> 00:21:17,500
Like, old people make this face.
And babies kind of look sleepy.
363
00:21:17,583 --> 00:21:21,291
And the bus driver's face is like,
"Stop." But I can't stop and I…
364
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,958
Sorry, I'm listening. Please, go ahead.
365
00:21:26,041 --> 00:21:29,083
♪ I always just come out
And say whatever's on my mind ♪
366
00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:31,875
♪ People look okay with it
But maybe they're resigned ♪
367
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,666
♪ I can't help saying more
They smile like they're enjoying ♪
368
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:36,875
♪ You've no idea
How stressful it is to not know ♪
369
00:21:36,958 --> 00:21:38,291
♪ When my talking gets annoying ♪
370
00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:40,666
I've seen a lot of kids who talk a lot.
They seem--
371
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:43,500
♪ I just continue talking
And it feels like things are fine ♪
372
00:21:43,583 --> 00:21:46,583
♪ Then I relax until I see that look
I take it as a sign ♪
373
00:21:46,666 --> 00:21:49,125
♪ They're mad I'm still talking
Or I'm loud or a bore ♪
374
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:52,708
♪ So I worry that I've lost them
I'm scared, so I start talking even more ♪
375
00:21:52,791 --> 00:21:54,916
Right. This is normal. A bunch of kids--
376
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,750
♪ I feel like I lack the ability to tell ♪
377
00:21:57,833 --> 00:22:00,333
♪ When I'm not giving someone
A chance to speak ♪
378
00:22:00,416 --> 00:22:01,916
♪ And because of that, I get scared ♪
379
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,083
♪ Then believe that I am
Not giving anyone else a chance to speak ♪
380
00:22:06,166 --> 00:22:08,250
I said, "I get it!"
381
00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:12,125
I know I said "I get it" again. I'm sorry.
382
00:22:12,208 --> 00:22:15,875
It's just that last one
wasn't even a rhyme, it was a repeat.
383
00:22:20,416 --> 00:22:23,250
♪ So, like
You're comfortable in sharing ♪
384
00:22:23,333 --> 00:22:25,541
♪ 'Cause your parents let you prattle ♪
385
00:22:25,625 --> 00:22:26,708
They don't really like--
386
00:22:26,791 --> 00:22:30,416
♪ But you shouldn't feel self-conscious
Like you're in a losing battle ♪
387
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:34,333
-Okay, but then how am I gonna--
-♪ Maybe try to ask a question ♪
388
00:22:35,125 --> 00:22:36,541
Ask a question?
389
00:22:37,041 --> 00:22:39,583
♪ It's exhausting
Like a blink ♪
390
00:22:40,083 --> 00:22:42,791
♪ But the kids who are most popular ♪
391
00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:49,541
♪ Are the kids who want to know
What other kids think ♪
392
00:22:50,625 --> 00:22:53,625
Wow. It's not like I don't care
about the other kids--
393
00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:56,875
I know. It's great you're good
at talking about yourself.
394
00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:59,208
When people share stuff, they feel better.
395
00:22:59,291 --> 00:23:01,750
So if you get other kids talking
about themselves,
396
00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:05,291
they'll like being with you.
More than they do already, I mean.
397
00:23:07,041 --> 00:23:09,000
Five-second rule.
398
00:23:09,083 --> 00:23:11,750
Well, that was really nice. Thank you.
399
00:23:11,833 --> 00:23:13,583
Oh, yeah. Glad to do it.
400
00:23:14,416 --> 00:23:18,000
Hey, remember,
you can't tell anyone, ever.
401
00:23:18,083 --> 00:23:20,083
Or we won't be able to talk again.
402
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:24,083
Okay. So I'm your special, secret friend?
That was a question.
403
00:23:24,166 --> 00:23:27,208
Uh, yeah. Sure. And good question.
404
00:23:27,291 --> 00:23:31,083
-Thanks, Leonardo.
-Call me Leo. Less Ninja Turtley.
405
00:23:31,166 --> 00:23:33,541
Summer. You need to get to bed, sweetie.
406
00:23:33,625 --> 00:23:36,458
Mom, what's the square root of 91?
407
00:23:36,541 --> 00:23:39,083
What? Please just get to bed.
408
00:23:39,666 --> 00:23:41,791
I don't mean just any question.
409
00:23:41,875 --> 00:23:43,625
Okay. Right. Got it.
410
00:23:47,291 --> 00:23:49,791
Find your new seats.
411
00:23:57,208 --> 00:24:00,833
Oh, back already?
You saw the whole world in one weekend?
412
00:24:00,916 --> 00:24:04,416
Wow. Hey, how were the Everglades?
How high was the Eiffel Tower?
413
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:08,958
- What was the Pope like?
- Could you not do that on my pillow?
414
00:24:09,041 --> 00:24:14,541
Put those computers away. We will not
be studying our curriculum on toys.
415
00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:34,833
Russian judge.
416
00:24:37,083 --> 00:24:40,291
Slow down. No running.
417
00:24:40,375 --> 00:24:42,708
No eating the books!
418
00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:45,750
Oh, Coach Kimura.
419
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:48,416
Oh, I apologize. Let me…
Let me clean that for you.
420
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:54,125
There we go.
421
00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:58,791
This is so unfair. Ugh!
She'll work us till we have no energy.
422
00:24:58,875 --> 00:25:01,125
Then we'll only get into schools
with drug problems.
423
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,666
Forget about winning the trip.
This is a nightmare.
424
00:25:03,750 --> 00:25:05,500
It's worse than when I lost my phone.
425
00:25:05,583 --> 00:25:07,583
Worse than when my dad wore bike shorts.
426
00:25:07,666 --> 00:25:10,666
Worse than when I got lost on a plane,
which is hard to do, but really scary.
427
00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:13,625
Like a horror movie,
though my parents won't let me watch them,
428
00:25:13,708 --> 00:25:16,333
unless you count the furnace
in Toy Story 3, but that--
429
00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:19,958
Oh. What should we do about it, Jayda?
430
00:25:21,208 --> 00:25:25,000
I'm totally telling my parents about it.
My dad has a lot of pull,
431
00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:26,958
because he gives the teachers
free zit cream,
432
00:25:27,041 --> 00:25:28,625
but you should tell yours too.
433
00:25:28,708 --> 00:25:30,791
Why are you talking to Summer?
434
00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:33,541
-I like her now.
-Uh, I know. I do too.
435
00:25:38,458 --> 00:25:42,166
-What was that all about?
-She likes me. She thought I was fun.
436
00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:45,625
You fun? What'd you do,
turn your head more than once?
437
00:25:45,708 --> 00:25:46,708
Oh, what a showman.
438
00:25:46,791 --> 00:25:48,708
Get all your mean jokes in now,
439
00:25:48,791 --> 00:25:51,708
'cause the next kid
who takes me home is the last kid.
440
00:25:51,791 --> 00:25:53,708
Sure they are, Mr. Chicken-to-leave.
441
00:25:53,791 --> 00:25:56,166
Whatever you say, Mr. Wants-to-get-bitten.
442
00:25:56,250 --> 00:25:59,583
Oh, I'm shaking,
Mr. Almost-as-brave-as-Scooby Doo.
443
00:26:03,458 --> 00:26:06,708
Duck, duck, duck, goose!
444
00:26:06,791 --> 00:26:10,583
Ow! Okay. Okay.
All right! That's not the game. Kids!
445
00:26:10,666 --> 00:26:15,250
…the Stamp Act. Eyes up here!
For those of you who did the reading…
446
00:26:15,333 --> 00:26:18,708
-Salinas never taught this stuff.
-Yeah. What's a stamp?
447
00:26:18,791 --> 00:26:20,625
…the first tax levied directly
448
00:26:20,708 --> 00:26:22,583
on American colonists
by the British Parliament.
449
00:26:22,666 --> 00:26:26,000
Skyler, what did I just say?
450
00:26:28,125 --> 00:26:30,875
Answer! How did the colonists react?
451
00:26:36,708 --> 00:26:37,541
Demerits!
452
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:46,208
You do not want demerits.
453
00:26:46,291 --> 00:26:49,333
-What's a demerit?
-I think he played for the Clippers.
454
00:26:49,416 --> 00:26:52,166
You're going to leave 5th grade
with discipline,
455
00:26:52,250 --> 00:26:54,833
or you are never going to leave 5th grade.
456
00:26:55,416 --> 00:26:56,916
Eh.
457
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,458
Who has the discipline
to take a class pet home this weekend?
458
00:27:01,708 --> 00:27:03,875
I'll do it. I'll take Leo again.
459
00:27:03,958 --> 00:27:05,083
"Leo"?
460
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:08,750
Again? Who would want it twice?
461
00:27:16,916 --> 00:27:20,041
Not one of you is man enough
for middle school, are you?
462
00:27:20,125 --> 00:27:23,250
Ugh. Not now. I'll take the lizard.
463
00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:32,583
Oh, you'll have so much fun with Leo, Eli.
You think, maybe, I can visit?
464
00:27:32,666 --> 00:27:35,750
Really? That'd be great.
Zane's coming, but we can all hang--
465
00:27:58,708 --> 00:28:00,208
You kids having a fun play date?
466
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:02,333
Uh…
467
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:03,875
Sure.
468
00:28:26,208 --> 00:28:28,916
Sorry about those chips, Zaney.
Can't be too careful.
469
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,541
Have a kale cupcake.
470
00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:33,208
Do I have to wear the safety suit
all weekend?
471
00:28:33,291 --> 00:28:35,000
Lizards carry disease, honey.
472
00:28:35,083 --> 00:28:37,875
Kids and dogs are especially vulnerable.
473
00:28:50,375 --> 00:28:53,333
Um, I think my mom wants to pick me up.
474
00:28:56,208 --> 00:28:59,833
- Thank you, Julie!
- They had the best time.
475
00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:06,791
Could you go cut his chicken
into non-chokeable pieces?
476
00:29:21,583 --> 00:29:23,083
Hey.
477
00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:47,083
Ow!
478
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:09,083
Ha-ha.
479
00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:18,083
What? It'll grow back.
480
00:30:18,166 --> 00:30:21,833
You're dressed like a 1950s astronaut
and I'm the weird one?
481
00:30:21,916 --> 00:30:25,208
Oh, now you're threatening me,
Doodlepoo? Do that--
482
00:30:25,291 --> 00:30:28,250
What?
483
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,083
- What--
- Dinnertime, Eli!
484
00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:39,875
Eli, now! You need three hours
to digest your food before bed.
485
00:30:41,666 --> 00:30:44,250
This is totally crazy. You talk?
486
00:30:44,333 --> 00:30:45,416
Just to you.
487
00:30:45,500 --> 00:30:47,708
-'Cause, uh…
-I'm special?
488
00:30:47,791 --> 00:30:49,458
Uh, yeah, that's right.
489
00:30:50,083 --> 00:30:51,541
Oh. Okay.
490
00:30:51,625 --> 00:30:55,375
But you can't tell anyone.
They'll try to kill me like E.T.
491
00:30:55,458 --> 00:30:58,791
But my parents told me when someone says,
"Don't tell anyone,"
492
00:30:58,875 --> 00:31:00,166
that's when I have to tell.
493
00:31:00,250 --> 00:31:03,583
Well, your parents are right,
but that's with strange humans.
494
00:31:03,666 --> 00:31:05,833
I'm just a strange lizard. Okay?
495
00:31:05,916 --> 00:31:09,916
- Please don't tell. Especially him.
- The drone?
496
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,333
No way. You saw what it did
to the Cheetos out there.
497
00:31:13,416 --> 00:31:15,583
I mean, it's nice that it's loyal.
498
00:31:15,666 --> 00:31:18,291
Come on. When I was six,
kids thought it was cool.
499
00:31:18,375 --> 00:31:22,666
-Maybe you should say something about it.
-I don't want to hurt its feelings.
500
00:31:23,458 --> 00:31:27,125
I know a way.
I've seen kids break up over the years.
501
00:31:27,208 --> 00:31:29,541
You write down why you're dumping them,
502
00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:33,083
and it gives the other person time
to soak it in and not snap.
503
00:31:33,166 --> 00:31:35,166
It's a "Dear Drone" letter.
504
00:31:35,250 --> 00:31:36,583
Get a pen and paper.
505
00:31:49,125 --> 00:31:53,125
♪ When you hover over me all day ♪
506
00:31:54,041 --> 00:31:58,791
♪ I feel safe, but also feel
My social life melting away ♪
507
00:31:58,875 --> 00:32:02,916
♪ I'm not saying
That your caring is a crime ♪
508
00:32:03,416 --> 00:32:08,375
♪ I'd just like to wipe my own butt
From time to time ♪
509
00:32:08,458 --> 00:32:12,083
♪ And I think that you could
Make new friends ♪
510
00:32:13,125 --> 00:32:17,958
♪ Like the 3-D printer in graphic arts ♪
511
00:32:18,041 --> 00:32:22,791
♪ Or the Theragun massager
Or the yellow Cuisinart ♪
512
00:32:22,875 --> 00:32:26,958
♪ I'm not saying
I don't like you, Mr. Drone ♪
513
00:32:27,666 --> 00:32:32,708
♪ I just want to have the smallest hope
Just visible in a microscope ♪
514
00:32:32,791 --> 00:32:34,375
♪ Of somehow ♪
515
00:32:35,916 --> 00:32:39,041
♪ Not dying alone ♪
516
00:33:19,333 --> 00:33:22,041
He's just doing it for show. See?
517
00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,916
He knows he's recyclable.
518
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,958
Let's just give him some space.
519
00:33:28,041 --> 00:33:30,375
Nobody's ever gonna like me like he does.
520
00:33:30,458 --> 00:33:34,583
Kid, they don't even know you.
Now you can finally show your stuff.
521
00:33:34,666 --> 00:33:36,958
Uh, I don't have any stuff.
522
00:33:37,041 --> 00:33:39,583
Ah, you just gotta find your gimmick.
523
00:33:39,666 --> 00:33:43,250
There was a boy in 1998, Mike Djokovic.
524
00:33:43,333 --> 00:33:46,666
He memorized all the words
to "Walkin' on the Sun."
525
00:33:47,750 --> 00:33:51,541
Smash Mouth? No?
Look, it's got a lot of words.
526
00:33:51,625 --> 00:33:54,333
The point is,
plenty of kids have a gimmick.
527
00:33:54,416 --> 00:33:56,083
It's okay. I got a few.
528
00:33:56,166 --> 00:33:58,833
-Uh, get me a caterpillar.
-For real?
529
00:33:58,916 --> 00:33:59,916
Trust me.
530
00:34:12,625 --> 00:34:13,750
Oh, that's perfect.
531
00:34:13,833 --> 00:34:15,583
Okay, here we go.
532
00:34:15,666 --> 00:34:17,750
So gross!
533
00:34:17,833 --> 00:34:18,833
Wait.
534
00:34:19,541 --> 00:34:21,166
What the--
535
00:34:25,166 --> 00:34:27,416
Here, let me show you something.
536
00:34:28,375 --> 00:34:30,791
Eli, where's your safety suit?
537
00:34:31,583 --> 00:34:32,750
Try doing this.
538
00:34:48,583 --> 00:34:51,708
Very good.
539
00:34:51,791 --> 00:34:52,958
Fore!
540
00:34:54,250 --> 00:34:56,875
- You nailed that thing.
- What was it? A possum?
541
00:34:56,958 --> 00:34:59,500
I don't know,
but you hit it in the jellybeans.
542
00:34:59,583 --> 00:35:01,583
Wanna quit and go home?
Can't top that.
543
00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:15,166
Not everyone's invited.
544
00:35:28,416 --> 00:35:29,791
Yes, I'm back.
545
00:35:29,875 --> 00:35:32,625
Where's your tail?
You escaping one limb at a time?
546
00:35:32,708 --> 00:35:36,000
Just give me some space.
I got hit in the jellybeans.
547
00:35:37,333 --> 00:35:38,791
I forgot that was there.
548
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:44,666
Salinas was teacher of the year!
That substitute lady's unacceptable.
549
00:35:44,750 --> 00:35:47,833
Do the skin cream samples I give out
mean nothing to you people?
550
00:35:47,916 --> 00:35:50,375
How do I get that horrible woman replaced?
551
00:35:50,458 --> 00:35:52,833
Dr. Wenger, please.
She's sitting right here.
552
00:35:52,916 --> 00:35:55,458
-So?
-Jay, it's not polite.
553
00:35:55,541 --> 00:35:56,375
Fine.
554
00:35:56,458 --> 00:35:59,083
May I speak about you
as if you're not here?
555
00:36:03,375 --> 00:36:06,833
Listen, my kid was on track
to get into Westlake next year,
556
00:36:06,916 --> 00:36:09,500
Langley Prep in three years,
Dartmouth in seven years,
557
00:36:09,583 --> 00:36:12,083
then a moderately happy marriage
in 14 years.
558
00:36:12,166 --> 00:36:14,375
I paid for that smart board
and this light switch.
559
00:36:16,083 --> 00:36:18,916
If I'm letting you keep this animal
as her teacher,
560
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,750
you're gonna do something
for me to fix this.
561
00:36:23,416 --> 00:36:26,958
Four seconds. Three, two, one.
562
00:36:27,041 --> 00:36:28,250
Pencils down.
563
00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:30,250
Except Jayda,
564
00:36:30,333 --> 00:36:32,958
who will now be getting two more minutes
565
00:36:33,041 --> 00:36:36,625
due to her permanent jet lag.
566
00:36:36,708 --> 00:36:39,916
Quiet. No discussion.
567
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,208
Now, one of you
has to take home a class pet.
568
00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:45,333
Volunteer or be assigned.
569
00:36:45,416 --> 00:36:46,583
I'll take Leo again.
570
00:36:46,666 --> 00:36:51,208
-What is the deal? Leo? Again?
-You can't take a pet twice, right?
571
00:36:51,291 --> 00:36:53,625
Because I would--
I mean, why do you want him again?
572
00:36:53,708 --> 00:36:57,083
Um, 'cause he was awesome.
573
00:36:57,166 --> 00:37:00,000
-Why do you want him?
-Uh, same reason. Awesome.
574
00:37:00,083 --> 00:37:02,333
Wait. If it's awesome, I want it.
575
00:37:02,416 --> 00:37:04,666
It's supposed to say, "Dr. Skin,"
576
00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:06,041
not "Dr. Skid."
577
00:37:06,125 --> 00:37:08,791
S-K-I-N. No D's.
578
00:37:08,875 --> 00:37:11,291
Jayda, I dyed the cat green.
579
00:37:11,375 --> 00:37:12,583
So unoriginal.
580
00:37:12,666 --> 00:37:14,916
Isn't that great, what I got for you?
581
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,083
-Drake's coming to my party?
-Eh, I'm still on it.
582
00:37:18,166 --> 00:37:21,000
I meant the pop quiz,
the two more minutes.
583
00:37:21,083 --> 00:37:23,916
-Who takes care of you?
-What did Daddy do?
584
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,875
Well, Benji, Jayda's substitute teacher
is a horror show…
585
00:37:27,958 --> 00:37:30,333
Making the kids read big books.
586
00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:31,250
No!
587
00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:34,208
So Daddy got Jayda something
no other kid gets.
588
00:37:34,291 --> 00:37:35,250
What, Daddy?
589
00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:40,041
♪ Extra time
The other kids are sweatin' ♪
590
00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:43,791
♪ All the answers they're forgettin'
All except for mine ♪
591
00:37:43,875 --> 00:37:46,166
♪ 'Cause my kid's got extra time… ♪
592
00:37:46,250 --> 00:37:49,166
Should we put the lizard in my room?
The birthday party's coming up--
593
00:37:49,250 --> 00:37:53,208
- Not now. Daddy's bragging.
- ♪ Lovin' that extra time ♪
594
00:37:53,750 --> 00:37:58,000
Ugh. It's like the worst day of my life.
Nobody's focusing on my party.
595
00:37:58,083 --> 00:38:01,416
It's going to totally suck,
and the other kids will be happy about it.
596
00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:03,208
What? Why would they be happy?
597
00:38:03,291 --> 00:38:06,541
Because they're all jealous.
Wait. What? Who said that?
598
00:38:06,625 --> 00:38:07,708
That was me.
599
00:38:07,791 --> 00:38:09,708
-Oh my God! You talk?
-No, it's not safe.
600
00:38:09,791 --> 00:38:13,958
-You're the only one who can hear me.
-So awesome! We have a talking lizard!
601
00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:16,791
-I can only talk to you!
-Oh my God! Daddy!
602
00:38:17,916 --> 00:38:20,750
♪ When you roll with Dr. Skin
You're a true VIP ♪
603
00:38:20,833 --> 00:38:23,250
♪ 'Cause rules do not apply to me ♪
604
00:38:23,333 --> 00:38:26,916
-♪ Gimme that extra time… ♪
-You only talk to me 'cause I'm special?
605
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,833
Uh, sure.
606
00:38:28,916 --> 00:38:31,583
That makes sense.
But can you do tricks at the party?
607
00:38:31,666 --> 00:38:34,041
Can you rap
and play the piano with your tongue?
608
00:38:34,125 --> 00:38:38,458
Nah, this is just between us.
I'm talking to you to give advice.
609
00:38:38,541 --> 00:38:42,500
-I don't need advice. I'm awesome.
-Nah, you're miserable.
610
00:38:42,583 --> 00:38:43,541
Wait, what?
611
00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:47,875
Just like Emma Lawrence in '03,
Nina Myers in '55,
612
00:38:47,958 --> 00:38:50,750
all pretty, all rich, all bright.
613
00:38:50,833 --> 00:38:52,541
-So?
-Not done.
614
00:38:52,625 --> 00:38:55,666
All snotty, all secretly hated.
615
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:58,500
-People were jealous.
-Not of the snottiness.
616
00:38:58,583 --> 00:39:01,916
Look, people don't realize
the pressure someone like me is under.
617
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,000
My family is so amazing,
so I have a lot more to live up to.
618
00:39:05,083 --> 00:39:08,208
I have to get into the best middle school
and have the best party
619
00:39:08,291 --> 00:39:10,250
and, yeah, only the best people around me.
620
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:11,166
No, you don't.
621
00:39:11,250 --> 00:39:13,541
Ugh, you don't get
what being awesome's like.
622
00:39:13,625 --> 00:39:14,625
But you're not.
623
00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:15,750
I'm what?
624
00:39:15,833 --> 00:39:16,916
Brace yourself.
625
00:39:17,458 --> 00:39:18,750
♪ Not that great ♪
626
00:39:20,083 --> 00:39:22,666
♪ I know you guys are proud
But your house is kinda loud ♪
627
00:39:22,750 --> 00:39:24,833
♪ And your dad's a middleweight ♪
628
00:39:24,916 --> 00:39:26,958
♪ Your family's not that great ♪
629
00:39:27,041 --> 00:39:28,000
A middleweight?
630
00:39:28,083 --> 00:39:30,875
-♪ He's the face on these flyers ♪
-♪ You live in Fort Myers ♪
631
00:39:30,958 --> 00:39:33,875
-♪ Our countertops are quartz ♪
-♪ He gets paid to burn off warts ♪
632
00:39:33,958 --> 00:39:35,166
♪ Mom's like Britney Spears ♪
633
00:39:35,250 --> 00:39:38,875
♪ If you've had six or seven beers
I don't mean to denigrate ♪
634
00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:41,666
♪ We're not that… ♪
635
00:39:42,541 --> 00:39:43,416
Great?
636
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:46,250
You're great, but no one's that great.
637
00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:49,333
We're all just people and lizards.
638
00:39:49,416 --> 00:39:52,250
♪ If you can take a step back ♪
639
00:39:52,333 --> 00:39:55,458
♪ See yourself for what you are ♪
640
00:39:55,541 --> 00:40:00,708
♪ You'll find that
You're an even brighter star ♪
641
00:40:01,250 --> 00:40:04,708
♪ So then, I'm not that great ♪
642
00:40:04,791 --> 00:40:05,666
There you go.
643
00:40:05,750 --> 00:40:09,416
♪ But I can feel that weight ♪
644
00:40:10,250 --> 00:40:12,791
♪ Coming off like heavy gear ♪
645
00:40:12,875 --> 00:40:15,458
♪ After 11 stressful years ♪
646
00:40:15,541 --> 00:40:18,333
♪ To my fellow average peers ♪
647
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,333
♪ I can finally relate ♪
648
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,166
♪ It's not bad at all to be ♪
649
00:40:25,250 --> 00:40:31,666
♪ Not that great ♪
650
00:40:31,750 --> 00:40:33,833
Bravo.
651
00:40:33,916 --> 00:40:36,708
- Thank you. Great job, guys.
- Thanks.
652
00:40:37,958 --> 00:40:41,125
-Honey, maybe you wanna tip them?
-What? The watches?
653
00:40:41,208 --> 00:40:44,875
-Guys, you want some water? Anybody?
-No, that's okay.
654
00:40:44,958 --> 00:40:48,333
- Okay. Well, thank you.
- Yep. Thanks, Mr. Skin.
655
00:40:48,416 --> 00:40:50,583
- It's "doctor." "Dr. Skin."
- Uh-huh.
656
00:40:50,666 --> 00:40:53,000
Mom, Dad, do we have any more invitations?
657
00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:55,541
More? I thought we excluded
everyone you wanted.
658
00:40:55,625 --> 00:40:58,166
Yeah, but we made a bigger list.
659
00:41:10,791 --> 00:41:13,750
-Hi, guys. I'm so glad you came.
-Thanks for inviting us.
660
00:41:13,833 --> 00:41:15,583
Of course. How are you?
661
00:41:15,666 --> 00:41:18,500
Uh, wait. I know this one. We're fine.
662
00:41:19,583 --> 00:41:22,250
That thing sounded like Cole.
663
00:41:22,333 --> 00:41:25,416
Wow. Zane is funny now?
664
00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:26,916
Zane was always funny.
665
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,166
Like in 2nd grade,
666
00:41:28,250 --> 00:41:32,208
when he told Mrs. Lemos
that Superman came from planet Crouton?
667
00:41:34,291 --> 00:41:37,666
-Hey. You kids try the bubble guy yet?
-Dad, we'll get to the bubbles.
668
00:41:37,750 --> 00:41:40,500
This guy's next level.
He makes bubble animals.
669
00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:45,750
Here you go. Next.
You're not holding it right!
670
00:41:47,375 --> 00:41:49,583
Jayda burgers. Jayda taters.
671
00:41:50,083 --> 00:41:51,666
Jayda vegetables.
672
00:41:51,750 --> 00:41:53,666
Please don't do this.
673
00:42:09,291 --> 00:42:11,250
What're you looking at, boss?
674
00:42:11,333 --> 00:42:13,416
Got a problem with compact legs?
675
00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:14,458
What?
676
00:42:14,541 --> 00:42:17,291
You think you got it so great out there?
What do you do in the box?
677
00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:19,583
Uh, I molt.
678
00:42:19,666 --> 00:42:21,250
Occasional blinking.
679
00:42:21,333 --> 00:42:24,541
All right. I'm sorry, brother.
We're fighting the same fight.
680
00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:27,875
I mean, the only fun I've ever had
was biting some of that guy's fingers off.
681
00:42:27,958 --> 00:42:31,083
I've asked you five times
to jump through this hoop.
682
00:42:31,166 --> 00:42:33,541
I'm just, uh… I'm getting old, you know?
683
00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:37,833
Ever feel like time's running out,
and this is all we're ever gonna know?
684
00:42:44,208 --> 00:42:47,833
Were you just talking to that horse?
Is he having a good time?
685
00:42:47,916 --> 00:42:49,000
I gotta tell you,
686
00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:52,166
the truth is,
no animal wants to be locked inside--
687
00:42:52,250 --> 00:42:54,833
Hey, Jayda. Hey, Leo.
I can't believe how much cool…
688
00:42:55,458 --> 00:42:59,958
Uh, I mean, hey, just Jayda,
are you having a good time?
689
00:43:00,041 --> 00:43:02,916
Thanks for asking me.
My parents never ask.
690
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,041
They just assume I'm having a good time,
691
00:43:05,125 --> 00:43:07,625
'cause they still don't realize
they aren't that great.
692
00:43:08,416 --> 00:43:11,875
-What would make you have a better time?
-Good question.
693
00:43:17,583 --> 00:43:19,833
♪ If you're The Supreme
Then I'm Diana Ross… ♪
694
00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:24,541
♪ Drop it down low and take it back high ♪
695
00:43:24,625 --> 00:43:26,208
♪ No, I don't need introduction ♪
696
00:43:26,291 --> 00:43:30,000
♪ Follow my simple instruction
Wind to the left, sway to the right… ♪
697
00:43:30,083 --> 00:43:33,500
-Okay. Standard magnetic lock.
-Circuits are cross-current.
698
00:43:33,583 --> 00:43:35,708
-Jumper cables. Balloon.
-Right here.
699
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,916
♪ Yo… ♪
700
00:43:55,083 --> 00:43:58,250
♪ Wind to the left, sway to the right… ♪
701
00:43:58,333 --> 00:44:01,333
This is so fun!
702
00:44:01,416 --> 00:44:03,875
I specifically said
"no mayhem!"
703
00:44:03,958 --> 00:44:06,583
♪ Sway to the right… ♪
704
00:44:07,083 --> 00:44:09,500
♪ No, I don't need introduction… ♪
705
00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:19,875
♪ True feeling… ♪
706
00:44:22,708 --> 00:44:24,708
-Thanks, PJ.
-Uh, TJ.
707
00:44:24,791 --> 00:44:28,291
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-It's cool. Jacked about the eye contact.
708
00:44:31,416 --> 00:44:34,125
♪ True feeling… ♪
709
00:44:39,625 --> 00:44:42,000
Stop that stopwatch. He's got my wallet.
710
00:44:45,916 --> 00:44:51,416
♪ And I still remember that night
In September ♪
711
00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:54,416
You made it happen, boss.
Greatest day ever.
712
00:44:55,083 --> 00:44:57,666
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Leo! Where's Leo?
713
00:44:57,750 --> 00:45:01,875
- Did someone take him?
- Please, somebody find him. Leo!
714
00:45:01,958 --> 00:45:06,083
Leo! Leo! Leo!
715
00:45:08,083 --> 00:45:10,333
You're not holding it right!
716
00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:14,583
- Leo! Leo!
- Where is he?
717
00:45:14,666 --> 00:45:16,416
Leo!
718
00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:18,041
Leo!
719
00:45:18,125 --> 00:45:20,583
You guys are really into that lizard.
720
00:45:20,666 --> 00:45:22,208
He's just awesome.
721
00:45:24,458 --> 00:45:26,125
Cheese!
722
00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:31,500
-I had so much fun at the party.
-Did you get a bubble animal?
723
00:45:31,583 --> 00:45:33,000
Camel went on the waterslide.
724
00:45:37,500 --> 00:45:41,625
-Again? Whatever happened to zipping?
-Oh, you'll know when I zip.
725
00:45:41,708 --> 00:45:44,500
I'll be in the Everglades
dining on maggots
726
00:45:44,583 --> 00:45:46,583
you can only dream about.
727
00:45:49,750 --> 00:45:52,250
You were fun, Leo. I'll miss you.
728
00:45:52,333 --> 00:45:55,375
If Santa Claus has 39 elves
729
00:45:55,458 --> 00:45:57,708
making 1,981 toys an hour…
730
00:45:57,791 --> 00:46:00,875
Freezing here.
How about giving a guy some shell?
731
00:46:00,958 --> 00:46:03,958
Wait. Ho, ho, Mr. Popular,
now you wanna come in here with me?
732
00:46:04,041 --> 00:46:05,708
It's 65 degrees.
733
00:46:05,791 --> 00:46:08,500
These Central Florida winters are brutal.
734
00:46:08,583 --> 00:46:10,500
Just a couple of minutes.
735
00:46:10,583 --> 00:46:12,958
Hey, hey! At least buy me dinner first.
736
00:46:13,041 --> 00:46:15,541
Wait.
Are those my baseball cards?
737
00:46:32,333 --> 00:46:33,458
Call me.
738
00:46:37,583 --> 00:46:39,416
You're talking to them.
739
00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:42,500
-That's why you keep coming back.
-What? No.
740
00:46:42,583 --> 00:46:43,750
Just a little bit.
741
00:46:43,833 --> 00:46:46,541
No, no, no, no. There is no little bit.
We don't talk to them.
742
00:46:46,625 --> 00:46:50,208
These kids are all benefiting
from my insights before I drop dead.
743
00:46:50,291 --> 00:46:53,791
- Okay, so it's about your ego.
- That's not what this is.
744
00:46:55,458 --> 00:47:00,708
It's about sharing my 74 years of wisdom
to help these kids with their issues.
745
00:47:00,791 --> 00:47:04,250
Whether it's breaking up with the drone
or having hand-me-down pants.
746
00:47:04,333 --> 00:47:05,916
Oh, boo-freakin'-hoo.
747
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,500
I had to wear my sister's shell
till I was 16.
748
00:47:08,583 --> 00:47:11,291
I made a huge difference with that TJ kid.
749
00:47:12,500 --> 00:47:14,958
What? I don't understand. That's normal.
750
00:47:15,041 --> 00:47:19,250
First one? Usually, it's in the front,
but very nice. You're growing up.
751
00:47:19,750 --> 00:47:21,666
No, no, no. It's my dad.
752
00:47:27,458 --> 00:47:30,000
What's so funny?
I told him that Dave Connaire,
753
00:47:30,083 --> 00:47:35,333
in 1974, all of a sudden, grew a nose
the size of a Buick just like his dad's.
754
00:47:35,416 --> 00:47:38,875
And everybody still loved him,
'cause he was a cool kid, like you.
755
00:47:38,958 --> 00:47:42,000
And the next week,
Cole's problem was even tougher.
756
00:47:42,083 --> 00:47:45,750
You won't do sleepovers,
'cause you say things in your sleep?
757
00:47:45,833 --> 00:47:49,291
Well, if I'm not gonna tell anyone
about you talking to me,
758
00:47:49,791 --> 00:47:51,375
do you promise not to tell anyone?
759
00:47:51,458 --> 00:47:53,708
Yeah. Of course.
760
00:47:53,791 --> 00:47:55,500
This isn't my real voice.
761
00:47:55,583 --> 00:47:59,791
I really talk like this.
I can't let them know. I sound ridiculous.
762
00:47:59,875 --> 00:48:02,416
This is priceless.
763
00:48:02,500 --> 00:48:04,333
Well, I fixed it. I told him…
764
00:48:04,416 --> 00:48:06,750
-You sound like a young Bee Gee.
-A what?
765
00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:08,458
How 'bout The Weeknd? Know him?
766
00:48:12,583 --> 00:48:13,875
Yeah, like that.
767
00:48:14,708 --> 00:48:17,041
Last week,
he sang at the winter recital,
768
00:48:17,125 --> 00:48:19,375
and I heard they went nuts.
769
00:48:20,875 --> 00:48:22,583
Nice job, Ms. Malkin.
770
00:48:22,666 --> 00:48:24,875
I'm sorry, was that praise?
771
00:48:24,958 --> 00:48:28,375
Keep it up,
and we may see more of you here.
772
00:48:28,458 --> 00:48:31,000
- The class did great.
- Did they win?
773
00:48:31,500 --> 00:48:33,958
Nah, kindergarten always wins.
Way too cute.
774
00:48:37,958 --> 00:48:40,500
And you should've seen me
last week with Mia.
775
00:48:40,583 --> 00:48:42,583
You mean Huggy?
The human cling wrap?
776
00:48:42,666 --> 00:48:45,041
Excuse me. She has a name.
777
00:48:45,125 --> 00:48:47,958
As you know,
her parents were recently divorced.
778
00:48:48,041 --> 00:48:51,125
Only two hours late today.
Very considerate.
779
00:48:51,208 --> 00:48:53,708
Are you letting him cut his own hair now?
780
00:48:56,291 --> 00:48:59,708
You can't watch the kids next weekend,
so me and Aurora can have
781
00:48:59,791 --> 00:49:03,208
Valentine's Day together?
I'm asking you one favor!
782
00:49:03,291 --> 00:49:06,375
You don't have any plans. Because I know.
783
00:49:06,458 --> 00:49:08,958
I'm sorry, but lizards do not talk.
784
00:49:09,041 --> 00:49:12,750
Parrots, macaws, songbirds,
and certain killer whales.
785
00:49:12,833 --> 00:49:15,666
Don't believe everything
you read on the Internet.
786
00:49:16,541 --> 00:49:18,583
Why would you only talk to me?
787
00:49:18,666 --> 00:49:23,291
'Cause you're nice. You're great
at school, answering all the questions.
788
00:49:23,375 --> 00:49:27,750
-I love to learn things.
-You're a lot quieter around your family.
789
00:49:27,833 --> 00:49:31,083
Don't you ever wanna let 'em see
how big that brain of yours is?
790
00:49:31,166 --> 00:49:33,708
My brother and sister think I'm weird.
791
00:49:33,791 --> 00:49:34,833
Really?
792
00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:41,208
-You just looked like my grandpa.
-Yeah? Is that a good thing?
793
00:49:41,291 --> 00:49:42,208
Uh-huh.
794
00:49:42,291 --> 00:49:44,583
My grandpa used to talk to me.
795
00:49:44,666 --> 00:49:48,625
He really liked science,
and he would ask me questions,
796
00:49:48,708 --> 00:49:51,583
even if he knew the answer.
797
00:49:51,666 --> 00:49:53,875
What? He sounds like a great guy.
798
00:49:53,958 --> 00:49:57,583
He was my best friend.
799
00:49:57,666 --> 00:50:00,375
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I didn't mean to get that going.
800
00:50:00,458 --> 00:50:01,958
Please, kid, I hate that.
801
00:50:02,041 --> 00:50:04,916
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no, no. Don't be sorry.
802
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,000
Just stop. I… I can't handle it.
803
00:50:07,083 --> 00:50:09,375
But my mom says it's good to cry.
804
00:50:09,458 --> 00:50:12,750
Not where I come from.
Here. Let me calm you down.
805
00:50:12,833 --> 00:50:15,583
I'll sing you a lullaby,
and you'll go to sleep.
806
00:50:16,333 --> 00:50:18,791
♪ Don't cry ♪
807
00:50:19,416 --> 00:50:21,833
♪ Crying's for weaklings ♪
808
00:50:22,583 --> 00:50:24,750
♪ Don't cry ♪
809
00:50:25,625 --> 00:50:27,958
♪ It's lazy and dumb ♪
810
00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:31,166
♪ Dry those tears ♪
811
00:50:31,250 --> 00:50:33,958
♪ They make you look ugly ♪
812
00:50:34,458 --> 00:50:36,666
♪ Suck it up ♪
813
00:50:37,166 --> 00:50:39,666
♪ You mustn't succumb ♪
814
00:50:40,583 --> 00:50:43,125
♪ Everyone's stuck ♪
815
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:46,500
♪ With something they're stuck with ♪
816
00:50:46,583 --> 00:50:51,916
♪ Everyone's trapped
In something they hate ♪
817
00:50:52,416 --> 00:50:55,041
♪ What does it solve ♪
818
00:50:55,125 --> 00:50:57,000
♪ To blubber and… ♪
819
00:51:01,458 --> 00:51:03,958
♪ Why not be strong? ♪
820
00:51:04,041 --> 00:51:08,458
♪ Make the best of your fate ♪
821
00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:11,833
♪ Don't cry ♪
822
00:51:12,333 --> 00:51:14,791
♪ It's really annoying ♪
823
00:51:16,125 --> 00:51:18,541
♪ Turn off the faucet ♪
824
00:51:19,041 --> 00:51:21,875
♪ It looks bad on you ♪
825
00:51:22,666 --> 00:51:25,125
♪ I know it's hard ♪
826
00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:28,833
♪ I know you're troubled ♪
827
00:51:28,916 --> 00:51:32,000
♪ But we've all got problems ♪
828
00:51:32,083 --> 00:51:35,250
♪ So boo-freaking… ♪
829
00:51:36,291 --> 00:51:42,000
♪ Hoo… ♪
830
00:51:47,291 --> 00:51:49,333
Whoa. You scared me.
831
00:51:49,416 --> 00:51:52,375
♪ Boo-freaking-hoo ♪
832
00:51:52,458 --> 00:51:55,458
You're just doing
what my grandpa did,
833
00:51:55,541 --> 00:51:58,833
pretending not to know something,
so I can tell you what's right.
834
00:51:58,916 --> 00:52:01,916
Here. Scientific research has established
835
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:05,416
that crying releases
oxytocin and endorphins.
836
00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:08,958
These feel-good chemicals help ease
both physical and emotional pain.
837
00:52:09,041 --> 00:52:12,958
I didn't know how to help her,
so I just listened. And that helped.
838
00:52:13,041 --> 00:52:15,625
Wow. So you got this E.T. scam going.
839
00:52:15,708 --> 00:52:18,375
Got every kid thinking he's Elliott?
This will end badly.
840
00:52:18,458 --> 00:52:21,166
All I know is these kids'll remember me.
841
00:52:21,250 --> 00:52:24,083
Did you hear about
Hammy #3's funeral last week?
842
00:52:24,166 --> 00:52:26,708
-Hammy #3 died? Didn't know that.
-Exactly.
843
00:52:26,791 --> 00:52:30,333
They say the funeral was a snooze.
No one had anything to say.
844
00:52:30,416 --> 00:52:33,750
I liked that white spot over his ear.
845
00:52:33,833 --> 00:52:35,750
I liked the way he breathed.
846
00:52:35,833 --> 00:52:37,458
He gave me pinkeye.
847
00:52:37,541 --> 00:52:41,750
My funeral is gonna be packed
with fond remembrances and anecdotes.
848
00:52:43,416 --> 00:52:45,958
Yeah, good for you
and your last week's vocabulary words.
849
00:52:46,458 --> 00:52:49,916
And, buddy, that funeral
could come sooner than you think.
850
00:52:51,166 --> 00:52:53,750
- Me! Me!
- My turn with the Geico thing!
851
00:52:56,625 --> 00:52:59,291
Have fun, Anthony! Leo's awesome!
852
00:52:59,375 --> 00:53:03,291
These things heads grow back too?
Or just their tails? I'll figure it out.
853
00:53:03,375 --> 00:53:07,750
Oh, no. Call my next of kin.
This is how I want to divide my estate.
854
00:53:07,833 --> 00:53:08,833
Help me!
855
00:53:11,166 --> 00:53:12,791
- What?
- I got your back.
856
00:53:12,875 --> 00:53:15,958
-I couldn't let you do this one alone.
-What are you gonna do?
857
00:53:16,041 --> 00:53:19,000
You lay back. It's harder to hurt me.
I got the shell.
858
00:53:19,083 --> 00:53:20,750
What about giving advice?
859
00:53:20,833 --> 00:53:24,000
Oh, like I don't know anything?
I can do what you do.
860
00:53:26,583 --> 00:53:28,500
Mm.
861
00:53:28,583 --> 00:53:31,583
That was an incredible move!
What strategy!
862
00:53:31,666 --> 00:53:33,541
- Hey!
- …starting to let his…
863
00:53:33,625 --> 00:53:34,875
Go straight to his head.
864
00:53:34,958 --> 00:53:36,083
Hey, over here.
865
00:53:36,166 --> 00:53:37,666
- What?
- Ah!
866
00:53:39,291 --> 00:53:41,375
-Oh, come on!
-Forget that. I talk.
867
00:53:41,458 --> 00:53:43,833
Oh my God. Grandma!
868
00:53:43,916 --> 00:53:46,333
No, no, no. Stop, stop.
Can't do that or we'll all die.
869
00:53:46,416 --> 00:53:49,125
-What? Why?
-I don't know. I… I'm telling you.
870
00:53:49,208 --> 00:53:52,333
-You… You'll die. Just shut up. Calm down.
-Oh, okay.
871
00:53:52,416 --> 00:53:56,125
Fix your phone later.
I'm a talking turtle. I picked you 'cause…
872
00:53:56,708 --> 00:53:58,041
"I like your style."
873
00:53:58,125 --> 00:54:01,833
-Take it down a notch.
-I got this. Now, tell me your problems.
874
00:54:01,916 --> 00:54:04,666
-What?
-I… I can fix your problems. I… I… I…
875
00:54:04,750 --> 00:54:06,750
I seen a lot of things
in that 5th grade room,
876
00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:08,458
and I can help. So come on.
877
00:54:08,541 --> 00:54:11,291
I don't have any problems.
Other than I broke my phone.
878
00:54:11,375 --> 00:54:13,583
Ah-ha. Bully. I get it.
879
00:54:13,666 --> 00:54:16,333
Come on. You're insecure, right?
Every class bully is.
880
00:54:16,416 --> 00:54:19,083
No. I don't know.
881
00:54:20,208 --> 00:54:22,750
You're sad, you got something
tearing you up inside.
882
00:54:22,833 --> 00:54:26,416
Just say it. I'm a talking turtle.
I can't tell anyone else.
883
00:54:27,625 --> 00:54:30,708
Of course I'm a bully.
I don't know what else to do.
884
00:54:30,791 --> 00:54:36,041
-I'm just different. I'm not smart.
-Nah. Everyone's smart in some way.
885
00:54:36,125 --> 00:54:39,625
You're just afraid of trying
and looking not smart. That's textbook.
886
00:54:39,708 --> 00:54:42,083
-What's a textbook?
-You know what? Never mind.
887
00:54:43,166 --> 00:54:46,750
-I'm different in other ways too.
-There you go. Come on. Out with it.
888
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:51,750
-You won't say anything?
-No. What is it? What's the sadness?
889
00:54:53,791 --> 00:54:56,375
I don't know how babies are made.
890
00:54:57,416 --> 00:54:59,416
Perfect. That's very class bully.
891
00:54:59,500 --> 00:55:00,750
Tough on the outside,
892
00:55:00,833 --> 00:55:03,625
a self-hating pile
of cottage cheese on the inside.
893
00:55:03,708 --> 00:55:07,708
-Can you just tell me?
-Oh. About babies? Sure. Here we go.
894
00:55:07,791 --> 00:55:12,375
First, the daddy climbs
on the mommy's back while she's swimming.
895
00:55:12,458 --> 00:55:14,541
He reaches under the mommy
to find her cloaca.
896
00:55:15,208 --> 00:55:17,250
This goes on for about 24 hours.
897
00:55:18,208 --> 00:55:21,708
Then the mommy comes ashore, makes a nest,
and deposits eggs in the sand.
898
00:55:22,833 --> 00:55:25,625
My mom made eggs in the sand?
899
00:55:25,708 --> 00:55:28,041
Yes. So the fish don't eat 'em.
900
00:55:31,583 --> 00:55:35,041
I crushed it.
Totally fixed the kid's problem.
901
00:55:35,125 --> 00:55:38,416
The taping me up,
maybe it's 'cause he wants to keep me.
902
00:55:39,791 --> 00:55:42,041
Stop!
903
00:55:52,750 --> 00:55:55,791
You miss your friends
from being held back.
904
00:55:55,875 --> 00:55:58,375
Worried about being behind?
905
00:55:58,458 --> 00:56:02,666
This is a tough time,
but these are the best years. Believe me.
906
00:56:03,208 --> 00:56:05,458
Enjoy not knowing everything.
907
00:56:05,541 --> 00:56:09,125
Enjoy being a kid. You're a good one.
908
00:56:09,875 --> 00:56:11,541
Do you miss being a kid?
909
00:56:12,666 --> 00:56:14,833
I'm just glad I'm still here.
910
00:56:17,375 --> 00:56:20,625
Okay, every one of you
has had a weekend with Leo here.
911
00:56:20,708 --> 00:56:25,708
So from here on, you'll be taking home…
What's the turtle's name again?
912
00:56:26,500 --> 00:56:29,541
Squirtle. My name is Squirtle.
913
00:56:30,125 --> 00:56:31,458
I think it's Squirtle.
914
00:56:31,541 --> 00:56:32,750
Squirtle sucks.
915
00:56:32,833 --> 00:56:34,625
I beg your pardon? Why?
916
00:56:34,708 --> 00:56:36,708
I don't know. He just sucks.
917
00:56:37,791 --> 00:56:40,208
-I like Leo, though. He's nice.
-The best.
918
00:56:40,291 --> 00:56:43,791
- Yeah! Come on…
- Leo's better than that turtle.
919
00:56:43,875 --> 00:56:50,000
Oh, stop that noise. Stop it!
What is so special about this reptile?
920
00:56:53,041 --> 00:56:54,708
I like his skin.
921
00:56:55,208 --> 00:56:57,916
His skin is like my grandma's elbows.
922
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:58,916
Uh, same.
923
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,166
-Same.
-Same.
924
00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:01,958
- Elbows.
- Same.
925
00:57:02,041 --> 00:57:06,416
All right. If you all so desperately want
to take home that lizard again,
926
00:57:06,500 --> 00:57:08,041
you'll just have to earn it.
927
00:57:08,125 --> 00:57:11,291
I wanna get picked!
928
00:57:11,375 --> 00:57:14,041
We'll do our homework
and promise to bring it in.
929
00:57:14,125 --> 00:57:17,958
You will all make my class
a model of excellence,
930
00:57:18,041 --> 00:57:23,541
and even win that Academicathalon,
or it's the turtle for all of you.
931
00:57:24,458 --> 00:57:26,125
Yes! Thank you so much.
932
00:57:26,208 --> 00:57:29,916
Was this your dying wish?
To turn a bunch of brats against me?
933
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,500
It's not about us. It's about the kids.
934
00:57:32,583 --> 00:57:33,666
They're motivated.
935
00:57:33,750 --> 00:57:35,750
They're gonna finish the year strong.
936
00:58:13,208 --> 00:58:14,625
Yes!
937
00:58:22,625 --> 00:58:25,458
Yeah, Louis Pasteur is the father
of microbiology.
938
00:58:25,541 --> 00:58:29,916
He discovered that dangerous
microorganisms could grow in open water.
939
00:58:44,208 --> 00:58:48,583
Wow! Well, now, that's impressive.
940
00:58:53,583 --> 00:58:57,958
Class 5-C, you're one step away
from going to Magic Land Park!
941
00:58:58,041 --> 00:59:01,333
How great a job has our teacher done?
942
00:59:01,416 --> 00:59:03,750
Bravo, Ms. Malkin.
943
00:59:03,833 --> 00:59:06,791
I know a lot of parents weren't happy
when I first brought you in,
944
00:59:06,875 --> 00:59:08,875
due to your rep as a miserable person.
945
00:59:08,958 --> 00:59:12,208
But if you win
the History Fair on Saturday, we'll--
946
00:59:12,291 --> 00:59:14,250
You'll prove all the doubters wrong.
947
00:59:14,333 --> 00:59:20,250
Well, Principal Spahn, in the classroom,
sometimes the old ways are the best ways.
948
00:59:20,333 --> 00:59:21,916
I can't believe it.
949
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:25,041
Back to your posts. No five-highing.
950
00:59:25,125 --> 00:59:28,125
- Oh, that pic is fire.
- Thank you.
951
00:59:28,208 --> 00:59:32,250
Hey, what is the deal? I've been waiting
for your next Jenga move for 30 minutes.
952
00:59:32,333 --> 00:59:34,666
Now did you make the costume
or did your mom?
953
00:59:34,750 --> 00:59:37,416
Tell the truth.
You know I won't tell anyone.
954
00:59:37,500 --> 00:59:39,625
I only talk to you.
955
00:59:39,708 --> 00:59:41,583
- What?
- Is that another phone?
956
00:59:41,666 --> 00:59:45,333
Uh, I don't know.
Uh, must be on Malkin's desk or something.
957
00:59:45,875 --> 00:59:46,958
Oh.
958
00:59:47,041 --> 00:59:48,750
- Hello?
- Come on.
959
00:59:48,833 --> 00:59:51,000
Leo, where'd you go?
960
00:59:51,083 --> 00:59:52,916
I… I'll be right there.
961
00:59:53,750 --> 00:59:55,125
Leo?
962
00:59:56,208 --> 00:59:59,083
- Hello?
- Hey, pal, toss it here. I'll handle it.
963
00:59:59,166 --> 01:00:02,000
Can you hear me?
964
01:00:02,083 --> 01:00:03,416
Leo?
965
01:00:03,500 --> 01:00:06,083
Yeah, I think Malkin
must have an extra phone.
966
01:00:06,166 --> 01:00:08,458
Anywho, what did Summer say?
967
01:00:08,541 --> 01:00:11,916
Oh my God,
you can't all play Jackie Kennedy.
968
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,000
And, like,
we so wanna slay this History Fair.
969
01:00:15,083 --> 01:00:18,416
I know. That Magic Land Park trip
would be awesome.
970
01:00:18,500 --> 01:00:21,625
Hey, you're awesome
because you tried your best.
971
01:00:21,708 --> 01:00:23,958
That's why I'm your special friend?
972
01:00:24,041 --> 01:00:25,791
Yeah.
973
01:00:27,041 --> 01:00:30,416
You talk to Skyler too?
974
01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:33,541
I… I just… Only because she--
975
01:00:33,625 --> 01:00:36,458
That's Summer's phone in there,
right behind yours.
976
01:00:41,708 --> 01:00:44,666
-You happy now? For ruining this?
-I don't know what happened.
977
01:00:44,750 --> 01:00:47,333
I… I must've butt-dialed ya.
I mean, butt-shot ya.
978
01:00:47,416 --> 01:00:48,916
You don't even have a butt.
979
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:50,583
How dare you?
980
01:00:51,958 --> 01:00:55,583
-You talk to all of us?
-You said I was the only one.
981
01:00:55,666 --> 01:00:57,375
You said I was the only one.
982
01:00:57,458 --> 01:01:00,375
-I thought I was special.
-You're all special. I--
983
01:01:02,458 --> 01:01:04,625
I'm sorry! I just…
984
01:01:04,708 --> 01:01:08,750
Seeing you guys getting along
and doing great in class,
985
01:01:08,833 --> 01:01:11,958
it felt like
I was actually making a difference.
986
01:01:12,041 --> 01:01:15,500
You did. This year would've been
a nightmare without you helping me.
987
01:01:15,583 --> 01:01:19,583
Ms. Malkin's so mean.
Talking to you made the class bearable.
988
01:01:19,666 --> 01:01:23,125
I was just worried if you all knew…
989
01:01:23,208 --> 01:01:25,166
…other people would find out.
990
01:01:25,250 --> 01:01:27,375
You told me not to tell anyone,
and I didn't.
991
01:01:27,458 --> 01:01:30,875
- Nobody did. Because we can keep a secret.
- Yeah.
992
01:01:30,958 --> 01:01:33,875
What, did you tell everyone
I shave my unibrow?
993
01:01:34,750 --> 01:01:36,041
Because I don't.
994
01:01:36,125 --> 01:01:38,958
Hey, the only one he told
about your unibrow,
995
01:01:39,041 --> 01:01:41,333
or that you still eat your boogers,
was me.
996
01:01:41,416 --> 01:01:43,666
-And I barely chuckled.
-What?
997
01:01:43,750 --> 01:01:44,791
I'm leaving.
998
01:01:45,291 --> 01:01:46,125
I tried.
999
01:01:46,208 --> 01:01:47,791
Wait, it's Friday.
1000
01:01:47,875 --> 01:01:50,166
Aren't you gonna take me home?
1001
01:01:50,250 --> 01:01:52,333
Summer, it's your turn.
1002
01:01:52,416 --> 01:01:54,583
Please, I'm so sorry.
1003
01:01:54,666 --> 01:01:57,916
How can we trust you now?
That was a question.
1004
01:02:00,541 --> 01:02:03,000
All right, what's everyone doing here?
1005
01:02:03,083 --> 01:02:05,625
Oh, you're leaving.
Good. Take the whole day off.
1006
01:02:05,708 --> 01:02:09,375
You need to rest up
for the history fair tomorrow. Go home.
1007
01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:11,833
Go. Shoo. Come on, out you go.
1008
01:02:18,750 --> 01:02:21,500
You and I have a lot to talk about.
1009
01:02:23,833 --> 01:02:24,708
I don't understand.
1010
01:02:24,791 --> 01:02:27,875
I… I know I lied to the kids.
What did I do to you?
1011
01:02:27,958 --> 01:02:32,833
Excuse me, talking to my students
behind my back? Advising them?
1012
01:02:32,916 --> 01:02:35,833
Okay. I feel terrible,
but I was just trying to--
1013
01:02:35,916 --> 01:02:37,625
Undermine my methods!
1014
01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:40,875
Cheat me out of feeling
any satisfaction from their success.
1015
01:02:40,958 --> 01:02:44,875
What? They learned everything you wanted.
Why wouldn't that make you happy?
1016
01:02:44,958 --> 01:02:48,000
Don't think you can analyze me.
I'm an adult.
1017
01:02:48,083 --> 01:02:52,041
Not a shrieking brat who thinks
reading Canterbury Tales is torture.
1018
01:02:52,125 --> 01:02:53,166
It's not torture?
1019
01:02:53,250 --> 01:02:54,291
Quiet!
1020
01:02:54,375 --> 01:02:59,250
Asking me to be happy
when I have nothing but these four walls.
1021
01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:03,541
-What about your family?
-Excuse me, do you see any family?
1022
01:03:03,625 --> 01:03:07,083
Oh. Uh, not unless you're related
to the gym coach.
1023
01:03:07,583 --> 01:03:10,541
-Those pictures are none of your business.
-Gotcha. Never saw 'em.
1024
01:03:11,291 --> 01:03:16,833
I put my whole life into teaching
just to be a mere substitute.
1025
01:03:18,125 --> 01:03:21,666
Never had my own class,
never got any respect.
1026
01:03:22,541 --> 01:03:23,958
♪ Happy? ♪
1027
01:03:24,916 --> 01:03:28,125
♪ You want me to be happy? ♪
1028
01:03:28,791 --> 01:03:31,583
Look, I also had dreams
that never happened.
1029
01:03:31,666 --> 01:03:34,666
Like seeing the Everglades,
or spreading Salmonella.
1030
01:03:34,750 --> 01:03:37,875
But this year,
I fell into something even better.
1031
01:03:37,958 --> 01:03:40,250
I really clicked with these kids.
1032
01:03:40,333 --> 01:03:45,625
Uh, maybe it helped, just a little,
that you're a talking animal?
1033
01:03:45,708 --> 01:03:48,333
Yeah, but also, maybe it's you.
1034
01:03:48,416 --> 01:03:51,583
'Cause I've seen subs come
through this school that kids love.
1035
01:03:51,666 --> 01:03:54,458
♪ What about Mrs. Knight? ♪
1036
01:03:54,541 --> 01:03:57,250
♪ Nice to the kids
Didn't smell quite right ♪
1037
01:03:57,916 --> 01:04:00,750
♪ Remember Mr. Monk? ♪
1038
01:04:00,833 --> 01:04:03,083
♪ He was a closet drunk ♪
1039
01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:07,416
♪ This may have been before your time ♪
1040
01:04:07,500 --> 01:04:08,833
♪ Miss Losch? ♪
1041
01:04:08,916 --> 01:04:11,250
A fine teacher.
1042
01:04:11,333 --> 01:04:14,291
♪ She was mine ♪
1043
01:04:15,208 --> 01:04:17,708
Wait, you were a student here?
1044
01:04:17,791 --> 01:04:21,416
You don't remember me?
I was a lot different.
1045
01:04:21,500 --> 01:04:22,833
I was…
1046
01:04:22,916 --> 01:04:24,750
♪ Happy ♪
1047
01:04:25,250 --> 01:04:27,166
Oh, wow. Yeah.
1048
01:04:27,250 --> 01:04:29,791
You were very sweet.
1049
01:04:29,875 --> 01:04:32,708
I was adorable. And she…
1050
01:04:32,791 --> 01:04:34,875
♪ She made you… ♪
1051
01:04:34,958 --> 01:04:36,875
♪ Happy ♪
1052
01:04:36,958 --> 01:04:39,125
Yes, she did.
1053
01:04:39,208 --> 01:04:41,750
She made me feel like I could do anything.
1054
01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:44,125
And tell me, do you think she was…
1055
01:04:44,208 --> 01:04:46,625
♪ Happy? ♪
1056
01:04:46,708 --> 01:04:48,625
She made you her family.
1057
01:04:48,708 --> 01:04:51,958
That's what great teachers do.
Even substitutes.
1058
01:04:52,041 --> 01:04:55,375
With the little time they have,
they try to make a difference.
1059
01:04:55,458 --> 01:04:58,041
And that's what keeps them happy.
1060
01:04:58,125 --> 01:05:02,000
♪ You can feel love
It's not the end ♪
1061
01:05:02,083 --> 01:05:05,458
♪ That smile you had can come back again ♪
1062
01:05:05,541 --> 01:05:09,125
♪ Just pull that stick out your tush
And take a cue ♪
1063
01:05:09,958 --> 01:05:13,500
♪ From teachers that preceded you ♪
1064
01:05:13,583 --> 01:05:15,333
♪ You're not alone ♪
1065
01:05:15,416 --> 01:05:17,333
♪ Make a home for them ♪
1066
01:05:17,416 --> 01:05:19,916
♪ And embrace your important role ♪
1067
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,166
♪ In shaping them ♪
1068
01:05:22,916 --> 01:05:26,750
♪ Body and soul ♪
1069
01:05:29,458 --> 01:05:32,875
-♪ And you'll be ♪
-♪ And I'll be ♪
1070
01:05:33,375 --> 01:05:37,416
♪ Happy ♪
1071
01:05:38,666 --> 01:05:42,875
-Well, that felt wonderful.
-I know you got it in you.
1072
01:05:42,958 --> 01:05:45,708
You're gonna get those kids
first place tomorrow.
1073
01:05:45,791 --> 01:05:48,875
-Oh, you're coming with me.
-No, please. They're mad.
1074
01:05:48,958 --> 01:05:50,916
Let… Let them focus on winning.
1075
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:52,833
Well, I'm still taking you.
1076
01:05:52,916 --> 01:05:53,750
After they win,
1077
01:05:53,833 --> 01:05:56,916
we'll make sure they appreciate
all you were doing for them.
1078
01:05:57,875 --> 01:06:00,750
You know what? You are special.
1079
01:06:04,875 --> 01:06:06,625
I couldn't sleep last night.
1080
01:06:06,708 --> 01:06:09,708
I couldn't stop thinking
about what Leo did to us.
1081
01:06:09,791 --> 01:06:12,875
Let's just not talk about Leo.
We're done with Leo.
1082
01:06:12,958 --> 01:06:15,208
We're ready.
We can win this thing ourselves.
1083
01:06:15,291 --> 01:06:18,916
Good morning, my dear students.
1084
01:06:22,916 --> 01:06:26,916
-They look confident.
-You sounded nice. Real warm.
1085
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:29,208
Thank you.
I'll keep you posted when I can.
1086
01:06:34,958 --> 01:06:36,083
I'm Betsy Ross.
1087
01:06:36,166 --> 01:06:39,500
I designed the first American Flag
in 1776.
1088
01:06:39,583 --> 01:06:42,541
But I didn't just say
what I thought the flag should look like,
1089
01:06:42,625 --> 01:06:44,958
I listened to others
to see what they thought.
1090
01:06:45,041 --> 01:06:47,583
The result was
the superior design we have today,
1091
01:06:47,666 --> 01:06:49,208
and also, people liking me more.
1092
01:06:50,500 --> 01:06:51,916
I'm Susan B. Anthony.
1093
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,500
I played a pivotal role
in the women's suffrage movement
1094
01:06:54,583 --> 01:06:56,125
in the 19th century.
1095
01:06:56,208 --> 01:06:59,416
But I'm not that special or great.
And neither is my family.
1096
01:06:59,500 --> 01:07:03,625
So I can relate to average women
who couldn't vote until 1920.
1097
01:07:03,708 --> 01:07:06,916
I'm Winston Churchill.
"We shall fight on the beaches."
1098
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,666
"We shall fight them
in the fields and in the streets."
1099
01:07:09,750 --> 01:07:11,083
"We shall never surrender,
1100
01:07:11,166 --> 01:07:13,833
but we shall let them down easy,
with a nice letter."
1101
01:07:13,916 --> 01:07:16,666
-"So they don't lose their minds."
-This is wonderful.
1102
01:07:16,750 --> 01:07:18,708
You've taught them life lessons.
1103
01:07:18,791 --> 01:07:21,333
I… I can't hear anything.
Can you open your pocket?
1104
01:07:21,416 --> 01:07:25,916
They burned me, Joan of Arc,
at the stake, but I am not afraid.
1105
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,958
Boo-freaking-hoo! Everyone's got problems.
1106
01:07:29,041 --> 01:07:32,541
I talked about it to a friend
and felt a lot better.
1107
01:07:34,041 --> 01:07:38,416
Aw, I think that friend is you.
1108
01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:43,708
Malkin's Marvels,
you're going to Magic Land Park!
1109
01:07:43,791 --> 01:07:46,833
Congratulations, class!
1110
01:07:46,916 --> 01:07:47,750
Yeah!
1111
01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:52,583
And to the first substitute
to ever win Teacher of the Year!
1112
01:07:54,583 --> 01:07:58,458
You'll be chaperoned
by Ms. Malkin and Coach Kimura.
1113
01:07:58,541 --> 01:08:00,500
Oh…
1114
01:08:00,583 --> 01:08:03,708
Is it over? We win? When do I come out?
1115
01:08:03,791 --> 01:08:05,208
What's happening?
1116
01:08:06,250 --> 01:08:08,625
Ms. Malkin, can we go see Leo?
1117
01:08:08,708 --> 01:08:12,416
-Honey, it's about to rain.
-We can't go to our class for one second?
1118
01:08:12,500 --> 01:08:15,666
You know what the rain does
to my extensions.
1119
01:08:15,750 --> 01:08:18,833
I gotta say, I thought you were
some kind of a twisted animal.
1120
01:08:18,916 --> 01:08:22,541
A rabid, bitter bag
of mothballs foaming at the mouth.
1121
01:08:22,625 --> 01:08:27,541
But I've never seen my Jayda speak
like that. It's like she's, uh, nice?
1122
01:08:27,625 --> 01:08:28,958
That's our Ms. Malkin!
1123
01:08:29,041 --> 01:08:30,916
You really got to know our kids.
1124
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:34,083
-What a special lady.
-Get this woman a full-time job next year.
1125
01:08:34,166 --> 01:08:36,333
Oh,
I think we can arrange that.
1126
01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,625
She's helped Summer make friends.
1127
01:08:38,708 --> 01:08:40,875
Cole's proud of his voice,
thanks to you.
1128
01:08:40,958 --> 01:08:43,083
- How'd you do it?
- Well… You know…
1129
01:08:45,708 --> 01:08:48,166
That's, um… my stomach. I… I better go.
1130
01:08:49,458 --> 01:08:51,791
She's not gonna make it.
1131
01:08:52,541 --> 01:08:54,541
What happened? I couldn't hear nothing.
1132
01:08:54,625 --> 01:08:57,125
Did we win?
I thought I was gonna see the kids.
1133
01:08:57,208 --> 01:08:59,375
We're going somewhere very special.
1134
01:08:59,458 --> 01:09:01,375
We're all going to celebrate?
1135
01:09:01,458 --> 01:09:02,666
What, a pizza party?
1136
01:09:05,583 --> 01:09:07,833
Wow, this pizza's out in the boonies.
1137
01:09:13,625 --> 01:09:16,708
What's goin' on?
You're leaving me here?
1138
01:09:16,791 --> 01:09:18,250
What about the kids?
1139
01:09:18,333 --> 01:09:22,125
They lost. The class
embarrassed themselves and blamed you.
1140
01:09:22,208 --> 01:09:24,958
What? What was all that cheering?
1141
01:09:25,041 --> 01:09:27,791
That was for the other class. I'm sorry.
1142
01:09:27,875 --> 01:09:30,958
What did I do? I've never felt so bad.
1143
01:09:31,041 --> 01:09:33,458
Don't say that.
You said the Everglades was your dream.
1144
01:09:33,541 --> 01:09:36,916
Now you can live it out, with no chance
of ever running into the children.
1145
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:40,375
Or their parents.
Or the principal. Or the media.
1146
01:09:41,208 --> 01:09:43,041
I said it was my dream.
1147
01:09:43,125 --> 01:09:45,250
The kids are what I--
1148
01:10:13,708 --> 01:10:15,083
- What?
- Where is he?
1149
01:10:15,166 --> 01:10:17,125
- Is he hiding?
- He's not hiding.
1150
01:10:17,208 --> 01:10:18,041
He was here.
1151
01:10:18,125 --> 01:10:19,833
- You seen him?
- What happened?
1152
01:10:19,916 --> 01:10:23,083
What a shame. He must've run away.
1153
01:10:31,958 --> 01:10:35,000
-He left us?
-Oh, look.
1154
01:10:35,583 --> 01:10:38,041
There seems to be some kind of note.
1155
01:10:38,125 --> 01:10:41,541
-Leo could write?
-Of course. He could talk.
1156
01:10:41,625 --> 01:10:47,041
Oh! He talked to you people too?
Oh, I thought I was special.
1157
01:10:49,458 --> 01:10:50,708
"Dear class."
1158
01:10:50,791 --> 01:10:53,625
"I've greatly enjoyed my time
with you this year,
1159
01:10:53,708 --> 01:10:57,333
but I wish to move on
and finally see the world."
1160
01:10:57,416 --> 01:11:01,000
"I realize I broke your trust,
and that can't be fixed."
1161
01:11:01,708 --> 01:11:03,458
"But if you would be so kind,
1162
01:11:03,541 --> 01:11:07,041
please keep our conversations secret,
so that I'm not harassed,
1163
01:11:07,125 --> 01:11:10,083
like E.T. or The Iron Giant, or Splash,
1164
01:11:10,166 --> 01:11:13,750
or the classic, The Shape of Water."
1165
01:11:13,833 --> 01:11:18,166
"Simply attribute your success
to Ms. Malkin,
1166
01:11:18,250 --> 01:11:21,708
whose integrity is beyond reproach."
1167
01:11:22,208 --> 01:11:24,208
"Best Regards, Leo."
1168
01:11:25,333 --> 01:11:30,375
Well, let's try and be happy for Leo.
He's doing what he wanted most.
1169
01:11:30,458 --> 01:11:32,958
But we never even got to thank him.
1170
01:11:33,041 --> 01:11:37,291
That's life, gang.
Life gets more difficult the older we get.
1171
01:11:38,500 --> 01:11:40,041
It's called growing up.
1172
01:11:45,208 --> 01:11:47,291
♪ When I was ten ♪
1173
01:11:49,208 --> 01:11:52,208
♪ I didn't have a single care ♪
1174
01:11:52,708 --> 01:11:55,583
♪ And not a single body hair ♪
1175
01:11:56,083 --> 01:11:58,625
♪ And life was fine ♪
1176
01:11:59,791 --> 01:12:02,916
♪ When I was nine ♪
1177
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:06,125
♪ We still left milk for Santa Claus ♪
1178
01:12:06,208 --> 01:12:09,208
♪ My mom was not in menopause ♪
1179
01:12:09,291 --> 01:12:12,666
♪ And life was great ♪
1180
01:12:13,250 --> 01:12:15,583
♪ When I was eight ♪
1181
01:12:16,375 --> 01:12:19,333
♪ I still could wear a size one shoe ♪
1182
01:12:19,958 --> 01:12:23,666
♪ I thought Big Macs were good for you ♪
1183
01:12:23,750 --> 01:12:26,041
♪ Yes, life was heaven ♪
1184
01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:30,166
♪ When I was seven ♪
1185
01:12:31,916 --> 01:12:34,708
♪ I knew some dirty words
But thought ♪
1186
01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:38,375
♪ That babies came out of Mom's butt ♪
1187
01:12:39,208 --> 01:12:41,291
♪ Like baby chicks ♪
1188
01:12:42,583 --> 01:12:44,833
♪ When I was six ♪
1189
01:12:45,500 --> 01:12:48,708
♪ My folks would fight
But I was chill ♪
1190
01:12:49,208 --> 01:12:54,041
♪ My grandpa and my gerbils
Were still alive ♪
1191
01:12:54,833 --> 01:12:57,833
♪ When I was five ♪
1192
01:12:58,791 --> 01:13:02,583
♪ I didn't care that people die ♪
1193
01:13:02,666 --> 01:13:08,375
♪ A haircut used to make me cry way more ♪
1194
01:13:10,125 --> 01:13:11,916
♪ When I was four ♪
1195
01:13:13,666 --> 01:13:16,083
♪ I didn't need to have a phone ♪
1196
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:22,958
♪ They hadn't yet invented drones
To follow me ♪
1197
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:26,750
♪ When I was three ♪
1198
01:13:27,666 --> 01:13:30,541
♪ I'd laugh for days when I was two ♪
1199
01:13:31,208 --> 01:13:34,583
♪ When someone said the word doo-doo ♪
1200
01:13:35,458 --> 01:13:39,250
♪ There were no rules when I was one ♪
1201
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:42,333
♪ Except, don't fall ♪
1202
01:13:42,416 --> 01:13:45,666
♪ We just had fun ♪
1203
01:13:46,250 --> 01:13:47,916
♪ But that was then ♪
1204
01:13:50,791 --> 01:13:56,458
♪ When I was ten ♪
1205
01:13:58,125 --> 01:14:00,375
Okay, everybody.
Be careful on the Dragon Coaster.
1206
01:14:00,458 --> 01:14:02,208
Wipe the chair and the safety bar.
1207
01:14:02,291 --> 01:14:05,000
Doesn't matter what the teacher says,
you call us every half hour.
1208
01:14:05,083 --> 01:14:07,416
And don't lick anything.
1209
01:14:07,500 --> 01:14:10,958
They tried to put the shift on Kabir
when he was up, but guess what?
1210
01:14:11,041 --> 01:14:13,375
-He can hit to right field too.
-Oh!
1211
01:14:13,458 --> 01:14:15,083
That is something.
1212
01:14:15,666 --> 01:14:19,583
-What do you think Leo's doing right now?
-I have no idea.
1213
01:14:31,875 --> 01:14:35,541
Sure, kids, why flip over
the musty old turtle before you leave?
1214
01:14:35,625 --> 01:14:38,958
Even though he knows the truth?
But no, everyone's gone!
1215
01:14:39,041 --> 01:14:41,291
Everyone but me and that pathetic…
1216
01:14:41,375 --> 01:14:44,125
Wait.
Where's the allergy kid's phone? Ah.
1217
01:14:47,666 --> 01:14:48,958
Ha.
1218
01:14:49,041 --> 01:14:49,916
Here we go.
1219
01:15:13,375 --> 01:15:15,583
There's no time for lettuce. Flip me!
1220
01:15:16,250 --> 01:15:17,333
Okay, we gotta move!
1221
01:15:20,875 --> 01:15:22,333
Follow those brats!
1222
01:15:24,416 --> 01:15:26,208
Hey.
1223
01:15:26,291 --> 01:15:29,083
Shake it off, man.
You're freaking everyone out.
1224
01:15:38,041 --> 01:15:39,458
Okay, let's hit it.
1225
01:16:11,666 --> 01:16:13,166
Ouch.
1226
01:16:14,375 --> 01:16:17,333
This is our last field trip together.
1227
01:16:17,416 --> 01:16:19,208
Why does it feel like our worst?
1228
01:16:21,291 --> 01:16:22,416
What?
1229
01:16:31,750 --> 01:16:33,750
♪ Now watch me nae nae
Okay ♪
1230
01:16:33,833 --> 01:16:35,333
♪ Now watch me whip… ♪
1231
01:16:35,416 --> 01:16:38,083
-What is going on back here?
-She did it!
1232
01:16:38,166 --> 01:16:41,333
-Excuse me?
-I saw it. I saw the whole thing.
1233
01:16:41,416 --> 01:16:44,375
She took him out of the terrarium
after you guys left that day.
1234
01:16:44,458 --> 01:16:46,541
She took him,
and I wanted to say something,
1235
01:16:46,625 --> 01:16:47,833
but her and her vacuum,
1236
01:16:47,916 --> 01:16:51,500
they gave me the stink eye,
and I slipped on, uh, somebody else's pee,
1237
01:16:51,583 --> 01:16:54,166
and I flipped on my back,
and this whole thing is my fault
1238
01:16:54,250 --> 01:16:57,166
'cause I got jealous of my best friend
instead of being happy for him.
1239
01:16:57,250 --> 01:17:01,000
I used the camera phone to bust him,
but now I gotta bust you, Demeritface!
1240
01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:05,083
He's lying! This turtle can't be trusted.
He turned on Leo.
1241
01:17:05,166 --> 01:17:09,166
Come on. You all know Leo's
the reason you got this stupid trip.
1242
01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:11,416
He helped you
with your weird kid problems.
1243
01:17:11,500 --> 01:17:12,625
That's why you won.
1244
01:17:12,708 --> 01:17:16,375
He wanted to do something meaningful
with the rest of his pathetic time,
1245
01:17:16,458 --> 01:17:17,291
and he did it.
1246
01:17:17,375 --> 01:17:19,250
Why did you say, "The rest of his time"?
1247
01:17:19,333 --> 01:17:21,000
- He's dying!
- What?!
1248
01:17:21,083 --> 01:17:23,708
He's gonna be 75.
That's lights out for lizards.
1249
01:17:23,791 --> 01:17:25,208
- Oh, no!
- He's dying?
1250
01:17:25,291 --> 01:17:27,875
But does Demeritface care? No!
1251
01:17:27,958 --> 01:17:30,666
All Demeritface wants is all the credit!
1252
01:17:30,750 --> 01:17:32,041
Another lie!
1253
01:17:32,125 --> 01:17:34,208
Then where is he, Ms. Misery?
1254
01:17:34,291 --> 01:17:37,125
Where's my best friend,
Demeritface? Where is he?
1255
01:17:37,208 --> 01:17:40,166
- Out with it, Demeritface!
- Where is he, Demeritface?
1256
01:17:42,875 --> 01:17:46,166
♪ Watch me, watch me
Ooh, watch me, watch me, ooh… ♪
1257
01:17:46,250 --> 01:17:50,500
- What did you do with him?
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it now!
1258
01:17:58,583 --> 01:18:02,416
I took him, and I drove him away.
1259
01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:04,583
-That's crazy! Seriously?
-I can't believe you!
1260
01:18:04,666 --> 01:18:08,083
He's right, I wanted the credit.
1261
01:18:08,583 --> 01:18:10,375
I thought it would make me…
1262
01:18:10,875 --> 01:18:13,166
♪ Happy ♪
1263
01:18:13,250 --> 01:18:16,541
-He's gonna die thinking we're mad at him.
-Where did you take him?
1264
01:18:16,625 --> 01:18:19,291
The Everglades.
1265
01:18:19,375 --> 01:18:22,250
You sent him to the Glades?
That's a terrible neighborhood!
1266
01:18:22,333 --> 01:18:26,416
-Those crazy animals will rip him apart!
-Ms. Malkin, please help us find him.
1267
01:18:26,500 --> 01:18:28,458
We can't not see him again.
1268
01:18:34,958 --> 01:18:35,791
Hey there.
1269
01:18:35,875 --> 01:18:39,083
We need to change course.
We're going to the Everglades.
1270
01:18:39,166 --> 01:18:41,000
What? We're going to Magic Land Park!
1271
01:18:41,083 --> 01:18:44,125
That's what the parents expect,
and that's where we're goin'.
1272
01:18:44,208 --> 01:18:46,583
Oh my, our first fight.
1273
01:18:57,625 --> 01:18:59,583
Thank you. I'm fine.
1274
01:19:00,916 --> 01:19:04,541
Children, we're going to Magic Land Park.
1275
01:19:15,500 --> 01:19:20,291
Thanks, but a little too murky for me.
How… How close are we to a drip tube?
1276
01:19:20,791 --> 01:19:23,333
Seriously, the microorganisms
will kill you.
1277
01:19:23,416 --> 01:19:24,791
A kid told me that.
1278
01:19:24,875 --> 01:19:27,125
You guys never heard of Louis Pasteur?
1279
01:19:41,458 --> 01:19:43,833
What the…
1280
01:19:44,416 --> 01:19:47,583
- Someone help me out here.
- Boss, is that you?
1281
01:19:49,500 --> 01:19:50,541
Wha-- What?
1282
01:19:50,625 --> 01:19:54,166
Hey, that's the guy!
The guy who set us free at that party.
1283
01:19:54,250 --> 01:19:56,250
That's the guy?
1284
01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:58,916
That's the guy.
1285
01:20:01,625 --> 01:20:04,875
I don't know what Grandma's thinking.
We'll save him on our own, let's go.
1286
01:20:09,375 --> 01:20:11,583
Get this guy some algae.
1287
01:20:14,208 --> 01:20:17,250
And some of you.
1288
01:20:17,333 --> 01:20:20,791
Boss, you're gonna love it here.
No trainers telling you what to do,
1289
01:20:20,875 --> 01:20:24,041
no bratty kids joking
about your compact legs.
1290
01:20:24,541 --> 01:20:26,333
But I miss those kids.
1291
01:20:26,416 --> 01:20:27,291
What?
1292
01:20:27,375 --> 01:20:30,541
They're not bratty.
You just gotta get to know them.
1293
01:20:30,625 --> 01:20:34,458
Like this one kid whose father's back
had a gorilla situation.
1294
01:20:39,291 --> 01:20:41,416
I got this. You go back to the kids.
1295
01:20:44,541 --> 01:20:46,500
Hey, anybody see a buddy of mine?
1296
01:20:46,583 --> 01:20:49,458
He's green with bumps,
got a tail, wicked ugly.
1297
01:20:51,416 --> 01:20:53,291
Okay, moving on.
1298
01:20:57,208 --> 01:20:59,125
- We're here, y'all!
- Yes!
1299
01:20:59,208 --> 01:21:00,791
And I'm hungry.
1300
01:21:00,875 --> 01:21:03,333
-Let's do this.
-Hi, welcome to Magic Land Park.
1301
01:21:03,416 --> 01:21:05,000
-Okay. Let me get--
-A Cotton Dragon!
1302
01:21:05,083 --> 01:21:06,875
-A Wizard Puffs, please?
-Me too!
1303
01:21:06,958 --> 01:21:08,791
-I'll take a Unicorn Balls.
-Huh?
1304
01:21:08,875 --> 01:21:10,458
They're jawbreakers. Please?
1305
01:21:10,541 --> 01:21:12,750
Okay, gang.
You getting all of this?
1306
01:21:12,833 --> 01:21:14,916
Oh, and I need one Fireblower hat.
1307
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:19,083
Okie doke. Now we're ready,
am I right, kids?
1308
01:21:21,125 --> 01:21:22,625
Are you kidding me? Hey!
1309
01:21:22,708 --> 01:21:25,000
- Go! Run fast!
- Come on. Move it!
1310
01:21:25,083 --> 01:21:27,750
Come on!
1311
01:21:34,291 --> 01:21:35,958
Oh my God!
1312
01:21:39,625 --> 01:21:41,791
- Come on, Ms. Malkin. Hurry up.
- Faster!
1313
01:21:41,875 --> 01:21:44,250
Just go. Go without me!
1314
01:21:44,333 --> 01:21:46,208
But you have to drive us!
1315
01:21:47,916 --> 01:21:49,625
Come on!
1316
01:21:59,250 --> 01:22:02,166
Come on, Ms. Malkin!
1317
01:22:03,458 --> 01:22:04,333
Huh?
1318
01:22:04,416 --> 01:22:05,416
The Purell!
1319
01:22:12,250 --> 01:22:14,916
Whoever did this will pay!
Help!
1320
01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:16,708
He's coming!
1321
01:22:16,791 --> 01:22:19,041
-We have to get out of here!
-I got this!
1322
01:22:19,125 --> 01:22:20,458
-What?
-I'm from the Bronx.
1323
01:22:20,541 --> 01:22:23,000
I've been driving since I was eight.
1324
01:22:28,375 --> 01:22:31,041
- Yeah! Yeah! Do it!
- Woo-hoo!
1325
01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:34,958
Oh my God!
1326
01:22:35,041 --> 01:22:36,833
Hey, pick a lane, lady!
1327
01:22:40,083 --> 01:22:41,208
A-ha!
1328
01:22:41,291 --> 01:22:43,250
I knew it. Leo?
1329
01:22:45,625 --> 01:22:50,208
Hey! Whoa, whoa. No.
No, no, no, no, no. I hate it out here!
1330
01:22:50,291 --> 01:22:54,541
And I explained to them,
I was just afraid someone would tell.
1331
01:22:54,625 --> 01:22:56,500
But now they're all mad at me,
1332
01:22:56,583 --> 01:23:00,666
and my funeral's gonna be
even worse than Hammy #3's.
1333
01:23:00,750 --> 01:23:03,416
-Who's Hammy #3?
-I think it's a sandwich at Arby's.
1334
01:23:03,500 --> 01:23:05,333
Why you talking about your funeral?
1335
01:23:05,416 --> 01:23:07,500
'Cause it's coming any day.
1336
01:23:07,583 --> 01:23:09,666
I'm almost 75 years old.
1337
01:23:09,750 --> 01:23:12,416
So what? We live to, like, 110.
1338
01:23:12,500 --> 01:23:14,625
What? But Skyler's dad said--
1339
01:23:14,708 --> 01:23:17,583
A hundred and ten,
unless eaten by alligators.
1340
01:23:17,666 --> 01:23:18,958
I'm 97.
1341
01:23:19,041 --> 01:23:22,583
A hundred six. He's 74? He's a tween.
1342
01:23:22,666 --> 01:23:24,333
Look how fast he blinks.
1343
01:23:27,458 --> 01:23:31,250
I'm gonna live!
This is incredible!
1344
01:23:31,333 --> 01:23:33,083
The guy's gonna live!
1345
01:23:33,166 --> 01:23:35,666
The guy's gonna live!
The guy's gonna live!
1346
01:23:35,750 --> 01:23:38,666
I gotta get back to those kids.
I can redeem myself!
1347
01:23:38,750 --> 01:23:40,250
And we're gonna help you.
1348
01:23:40,333 --> 01:23:43,208
The guy's gonna live! The--
1349
01:23:43,291 --> 01:23:47,041
I said I was sorry!
1350
01:23:49,208 --> 01:23:51,458
I'd kill for lateral movement.
1351
01:23:57,041 --> 01:24:01,625
Guys, before you do anything,
let's talk about why you're angry, okay?
1352
01:24:02,125 --> 01:24:03,541
Anyone's parents getting divorced?
1353
01:24:07,708 --> 01:24:09,458
-Aren't you gonna stop?
-I'm trying.
1354
01:24:09,541 --> 01:24:12,166
But I weigh 80 pounds
and this thing needs oil.
1355
01:24:12,833 --> 01:24:16,625
This looks scary. Oh, my God.
1356
01:24:19,250 --> 01:24:21,166
Come on!
1357
01:24:28,708 --> 01:24:31,041
What the… Is that
some kind of woolly mammoth?
1358
01:24:31,125 --> 01:24:32,750
I don't know, but it could kill us, right?
1359
01:24:32,833 --> 01:24:34,458
Uh, definitely.
1360
01:24:38,375 --> 01:24:39,333
We're here.
1361
01:24:45,791 --> 01:24:47,000
Get back.
1362
01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:48,708
- Oh, gosh.
- Oh, no, no, no.
1363
01:24:50,333 --> 01:24:52,500
That's a demerit.
1364
01:25:01,166 --> 01:25:03,375
You need to chill.
1365
01:25:15,083 --> 01:25:16,333
Summer, talk to him.
1366
01:25:16,416 --> 01:25:18,625
So I don't know if you know,
but it doesn't really matter.
1367
01:25:18,708 --> 01:25:21,083
We were supposed to go to Magic Land,
which is cool.
1368
01:25:21,166 --> 01:25:24,125
I've never been there.
I don't like magic and roller coasters.
1369
01:25:24,208 --> 01:25:27,375
They just seem really boring.
They're scary, which isn't boring,
1370
01:25:27,458 --> 01:25:29,500
but you're not doing anything,
you're just sitting,
1371
01:25:29,583 --> 01:25:32,041
when you could be
playing soccer or baking a cake.
1372
01:25:32,125 --> 01:25:35,041
I mean, my mom's on a diet, so--
1373
01:25:49,875 --> 01:25:52,500
How could Leo ever survive
out here?
1374
01:25:52,583 --> 01:25:54,958
How do we even start looking for him?
1375
01:25:55,041 --> 01:25:56,916
I just don't know.
1376
01:26:09,083 --> 01:26:11,791
What? Leo, no!
1377
01:26:11,875 --> 01:26:14,000
- Oh, no. Leo!
- Leo!
1378
01:26:15,208 --> 01:26:18,208
Leo,
we just wanted to thank you.
1379
01:26:18,791 --> 01:26:21,625
I'm so sorry I got mad. We all are.
1380
01:26:22,291 --> 01:26:25,291
We won the trip, Leo. All because of you.
1381
01:26:25,375 --> 01:26:28,041
You made me feel like I could do anything.
1382
01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:29,583
You brought us all together.
1383
01:26:29,666 --> 01:26:32,291
I never had a lizard
that taught me so much.
1384
01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:34,416
Or any non-lizards either.
1385
01:26:34,500 --> 01:26:38,958
I'm not scared.
I wanna hug you one more time.
1386
01:26:40,708 --> 01:26:43,041
What? They ate his insides!
1387
01:26:43,125 --> 01:26:45,375
I'm not--
1388
01:26:49,000 --> 01:26:51,083
Huh?
1389
01:26:51,166 --> 01:26:53,958
I'm okay, pal.
1390
01:26:54,041 --> 01:26:56,291
- I can't believe it.
- You're all right.
1391
01:26:56,375 --> 01:27:00,291
Sorry I scared you.
When I get nervous, I tend to molt.
1392
01:27:00,375 --> 01:27:01,291
Old habit.
1393
01:27:01,375 --> 01:27:02,250
Awesome!
1394
01:27:03,750 --> 01:27:07,958
That was the best funeral
I could ever have.
1395
01:27:08,041 --> 01:27:10,250
Wait, but if you guys won,
1396
01:27:10,333 --> 01:27:13,375
shouldn't you be celebrating
in Magic Land Park?
1397
01:27:13,458 --> 01:27:17,833
We couldn't celebrate.
We needed to see you before you die.
1398
01:27:17,916 --> 01:27:21,000
Oh. Uh, who told you I was dying?
1399
01:27:21,083 --> 01:27:23,000
The turt-- Uh, Squirtle told us.
1400
01:27:23,083 --> 01:27:27,208
Well, I thought I was,
but I found out I'm not.
1401
01:27:27,291 --> 01:27:29,083
- You're not?
- You're not gonna die?
1402
01:27:29,166 --> 01:27:30,333
You're not still mad?
1403
01:27:30,416 --> 01:27:31,916
This is incredible.
1404
01:27:32,000 --> 01:27:34,000
- We love you, Leo.
- Are you crazy?
1405
01:27:34,083 --> 01:27:35,458
This is amazing!
1406
01:27:35,541 --> 01:27:37,458
I'm so happy!
1407
01:27:38,541 --> 01:27:43,291
You're right about the endorphins.
It really feels awesome.
1408
01:27:47,916 --> 01:27:49,750
Ah. Oh, boy! Ah!
1409
01:27:49,833 --> 01:27:52,083
Still coming. Give me a second.
1410
01:27:53,166 --> 01:27:56,833
Hey, glad you're okay.
Sorry about busting you.
1411
01:27:57,750 --> 01:27:59,208
I want you to have something.
1412
01:28:04,041 --> 01:28:06,333
-Least I could do.
-It's okay. Put it back on.
1413
01:28:06,416 --> 01:28:07,750
You're gonna get arrested.
1414
01:28:13,750 --> 01:28:18,708
You should all be proud.
We've all learned so much this year.
1415
01:28:18,791 --> 01:28:22,083
Now, before I go,
I want to finish something else
1416
01:28:22,166 --> 01:28:23,750
that Mrs. Salinas started.
1417
01:28:25,000 --> 01:28:28,333
I'm going to read
the rest of Charlotte's Web.
1418
01:28:28,416 --> 01:28:31,250
-Ugh, is she kidding?
-Let's just get through it.
1419
01:28:32,041 --> 01:28:33,458
"Charlotte was dying."
1420
01:28:33,958 --> 01:28:36,291
"'But I feel peaceful,' she said."
1421
01:28:36,375 --> 01:28:41,375
"'Your success in the ring was,
to a small degree, my success.'"
1422
01:28:41,458 --> 01:28:44,125
"'Why did you do all this for me?'
Wilbur asked."
1423
01:28:44,875 --> 01:28:47,291
"'Because I liked you,'
replied Charlotte."
1424
01:28:47,375 --> 01:28:49,916
"'After all, what's life, anyway?'"
1425
01:28:50,000 --> 01:28:52,916
"'We're born,
we live a little while, we die.'"
1426
01:28:53,958 --> 01:28:56,833
"'Perhaps,
I was trying to lift my life a trifle.'"
1427
01:28:56,916 --> 01:29:00,166
"'Anyone's life can stand a little of…'"
1428
01:29:00,250 --> 01:29:04,833
What? I was wrong, okay?
Crying's doin' so good for me.
1429
01:29:06,041 --> 01:29:10,041
-Still wish I could eat spider babies.
-Nobody's eating any spider babies!
1430
01:29:10,125 --> 01:29:11,791
Hi, guys!
1431
01:29:11,875 --> 01:29:13,083
Mrs. Salinas.
1432
01:29:13,166 --> 01:29:15,958
- I missed you. Come meet Cole!
- Yes!
1433
01:29:16,041 --> 01:29:18,750
- Can I hold the baby?
- He's so tiny.
1434
01:29:18,833 --> 01:29:19,958
Only one baby.
1435
01:29:20,041 --> 01:29:23,166
I guess she didn't bury the other eggs
deep enough in the sand.
1436
01:29:27,041 --> 01:29:29,833
♪ Last year of elementary school ♪
1437
01:29:29,916 --> 01:29:33,250
♪ I'm, like, so over being a kid ♪
1438
01:29:34,041 --> 01:29:37,583
♪ Gonna look in the mirror for stubble ♪
1439
01:29:38,125 --> 01:29:42,375
♪ Gonna drink orange juice
With the bubbles ♪
1440
01:29:42,458 --> 01:29:45,958
♪ I'll say I don't need you ♪
1441
01:29:46,041 --> 01:29:51,083
♪ I'll be keeping it steady ♪
1442
01:29:51,166 --> 01:29:55,666
♪ I miss you already ♪
1443
01:29:57,000 --> 01:29:59,708
How are we gonna get
through middle school without you?
1444
01:29:59,791 --> 01:30:03,166
You'll be fine. It wasn't me. You did it.
1445
01:30:03,250 --> 01:30:07,333
You trusted someone to hear your problems.
That's all we need.
1446
01:30:07,416 --> 01:30:11,875
Remember, everyone's scared.
So don't keep it to yourself.
1447
01:30:11,958 --> 01:30:14,166
Find your Leo to talk to.
1448
01:30:14,250 --> 01:30:17,791
It could be your teacher,
your mom, your friend.
1449
01:30:17,875 --> 01:30:18,791
Your turtle.
1450
01:30:18,875 --> 01:30:22,625
They're ready to listen.
I promise they'll make you feel better.
1451
01:30:32,291 --> 01:30:33,875
Ms. Malkin!
1452
01:30:33,958 --> 01:30:36,291
Needless to say,
you've made your mark here.
1453
01:30:36,375 --> 01:30:40,791
And as I promised, I'm opening up a class
for you to run full-time next year.
1454
01:30:42,416 --> 01:30:44,958
Well, thank you, Principal Spahn.
1455
01:30:45,041 --> 01:30:47,166
But I'll need one condition met.
1456
01:30:47,250 --> 01:30:52,916
Whatever class I teach,
I want these two alongside me as pets.
1457
01:30:53,000 --> 01:30:55,750
Well, okay.
I don't see that being a problem.
1458
01:30:55,833 --> 01:31:00,083
-Look at this. We're going with Malkin.
-Change of scenery. Should be good.
1459
01:31:00,166 --> 01:31:03,125
Congratulations, meet your new students.
1460
01:31:07,083 --> 01:31:09,333
-Oh God!
-Not in the shell! Keep it clean!
1461
01:31:09,416 --> 01:31:11,208
Lot of energy.
1462
01:31:11,291 --> 01:31:13,916
This is good,
we're finally gonna learn the alphabet!
1463
01:31:14,000 --> 01:31:15,708
- Oh my God!
- Yeah!
1464
01:38:43,583 --> 01:38:49,083
♪ Last year of elementary school
Last year of bein' a kid ♪
1465
01:38:49,166 --> 01:38:52,083
♪ Being on top ♪
1466
01:38:52,166 --> 01:38:54,833
♪ I'm gonna go out swingin' ♪
1467
01:38:54,916 --> 01:38:58,416
♪ Toy soldiers
Dippin' Dots, fun-size bars ♪
1468
01:38:58,500 --> 01:39:02,416
♪ Slip 'N slides
Fart noises, chicken stars ♪
1469
01:39:02,500 --> 01:39:06,250
♪ Until they tell me to stop ♪
1470
01:39:06,333 --> 01:39:12,541
♪ Last year of elementary school
Biggest kid on campus, I got it made ♪
1471
01:39:12,625 --> 01:39:15,833
♪ Sit down, son!
I own all you dorks ♪
1472
01:39:15,916 --> 01:39:19,333
♪ I'm so stoked
I was held back in third grade ♪
1473
01:39:19,416 --> 01:39:22,208
♪ Okay, okay
So we will not invite Cara ♪
1474
01:39:22,291 --> 01:39:23,875
♪ Oh my God, I hate her ♪
1475
01:39:23,958 --> 01:39:27,083
- ♪ Sabrina's kind of cool ♪
- ♪ We do not do fourth-graders ♪
1476
01:39:27,166 --> 01:39:30,666
- ♪ We make a list of friends? ♪
- ♪ Yes, with no weirdos on it ♪
1477
01:39:31,166 --> 01:39:33,000
- What about Summer?
- She's nice.
1478
01:39:33,083 --> 01:39:34,041
Uh, vomit.
1479
01:39:35,541 --> 01:39:38,625
♪ Last year of elementary school ♪
1480
01:39:38,708 --> 01:39:41,500
♪ This is the year people talk to me ♪
1481
01:39:41,583 --> 01:39:45,041
♪ The year someone says, "How are you?" ♪
1482
01:39:45,125 --> 01:39:48,041
♪ It's been three years
Since I joined the school ♪
1483
01:39:48,125 --> 01:39:50,375
♪ I'm due
I'd say I'm due ♪
1484
01:39:50,458 --> 01:39:53,250
♪ We think you're due too ♪
1485
01:39:53,333 --> 01:39:55,416
♪ Five more minutes ♪
1486
01:39:55,500 --> 01:39:57,625
♪ Okay, five more minutes ♪
1487
01:39:58,166 --> 01:40:01,791
♪ I just can't wait to go back
It's the first school day ♪
1488
01:40:01,875 --> 01:40:05,500
♪ And both Mom and Dad
are gonna take me there ♪
1489
01:40:06,541 --> 01:40:10,000
♪ That's not allowed in the house
Is what the lawyers say ♪
1490
01:40:10,083 --> 01:40:14,916
♪ But he gives me a big hug
Right on the front stairs ♪
1491
01:40:15,958 --> 01:40:18,750
♪ Five more minutes ♪
1492
01:40:18,833 --> 01:40:22,125
♪ Cole, you have to get up
On your own this year ♪
1493
01:40:22,208 --> 01:40:25,083
- ♪ Five more minutes ♪
- ♪ Okay, five more minutes ♪
1494
01:40:25,166 --> 01:40:26,833
Way to be strong, Dad.
1495
01:40:27,875 --> 01:40:32,875
♪ Lessening
They say my nut allergies are lessening ♪
1496
01:40:34,708 --> 01:40:41,083
♪ Once the immune boosters kick in
I can try the kung pao chicken ♪
1497
01:40:42,166 --> 01:40:45,375
♪ Welcome, fifth graders
Go right through this door ♪
1498
01:40:45,458 --> 01:40:50,250
♪ 'Cause this year your homerooms
Are on the second floor ♪
1499
01:40:50,333 --> 01:40:51,541
The big time!
1500
01:40:52,375 --> 01:40:54,583
♪ Please don't step
On the kindergartners ♪
1501
01:40:57,333 --> 01:41:00,458
♪ Last year
Of sleeping with a night light ♪
1502
01:41:00,541 --> 01:41:03,750
♪ Last year
Of not spelling "dessert" right ♪
1503
01:41:03,833 --> 01:41:06,750
♪ Last year
Of dominating recess ♪
1504
01:41:06,833 --> 01:41:09,750
♪ Last year
Of T-shirts with a princess ♪
1505
01:41:09,833 --> 01:41:12,791
- ♪ Mom's food at lunchtime ♪
- ♪ Pockets filled with slime ♪
1506
01:41:12,875 --> 01:41:16,583
- ♪ Of temporary tattoos ♪
- ♪ Of dyeing my Bichon blue ♪
1507
01:41:16,666 --> 01:41:19,541
♪ Last year
And what we do in grade five ♪
1508
01:41:19,625 --> 01:41:26,500
♪ Will decide the rest of our lives ♪
120359
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