All language subtitles for The Adventures Of Captain Zoom in Outer Space (1995) 87 min. Dandysubs

Could you make more noise?

Sorry.

Get down!

Isn't that father's old
cyclotron modulator?

Yep.

Dad was ahead of his time.

All I have to do is adjust the
energy capacitors, and...

- Oh no!
- What's wrong?

It's a trap!

Get Bailey out of here!
Now!

No, I'm not gonna leave you!

Tyra!

I'm gonna kill every one of you.
You butchers.

Lord Vox.

Go ahead, kill me.

Pangea doesn't belong to you anymore.

You and your kind left it behind.

It's ours now and we will never give up

fighting for it and nothing you can do

or say will ever break my spirit.

I love you.

Oh perfect.

It is written...

that we, the freedom fighters of Pangea

who battle so valiantly for our world...

will ultimately hang over
the pit of defeat,

from which no one returns.

Now there's a confidence builder.

Don't worry Bailey,

I will personally lead a raid
to save your sister.

How?

I'm taking most of the men out tonight.

We're gonna let ourselves
be captured by Vox's men.

Then, once aboard the mother ship, we'll

take it over and free Tyra.

What happens if Vox decides
to kill you down here?

Then...

then...

oof.

My son...

it is written...

Where?
Where is it written?

You're always talking about
prophecies and destinies,

but my sister's gonna die.

And without her, we all will too.

Oh, I love when you get scientific.

My circuits are all a flutter.

Not now, Illumina.

But I can't help myself.

You're brilliant.
I mean only my Bailey

could send an intergalactic S.O.S.

and build a transporter to bring help

from across the cosmos.

I just hope it works,

because somewhere out there,

I know there's someone who can save us.

I just know it.

Hey Bailey,
you might want to come see this.

Do you think this is a response
to your S.O.S.?

I said your money or your life.

I'm thinking it over.

I don't know but the signal's point of origin,
is a planet 400 light years away.

Help, help, someone save me!

Captain Zoom, boy am I glad to see you!

I'll have you free in a jiffy, Pappy

Cap, behind you!

Look at him. He's amazing!

Come on!

Come on!

It's like, he knows ahead of time exactly
where the monster is gonna go.

Thanks. Thanks Cap.

A few more seconds and I would
have been a human shish kebab.

But more importantly, Happy, justice

has been served.

You're right, Cap.

Well, you destroyed the evil Lizard King

so I guess our work here is finished.

Perhaps... but if there's
one thing I've learned...

it's that Captain Zoom's destiny, as Defender
of the Universe was written in the stars.

We can never rest,

in our continuing war against
injustice and oppression.

Together, we can be...

we...

must be, we... will be...

victorious!

That's why, Captain Zoom, is here.

The Adventures of
Captain Zoom in Outer Space,

a presentation of the Dumont Network.

I think we found our man.

Are we done?

Excuse me, excuse me, are we...

Wake up!

Put this on. Now!

Hungry?

No.

You've been in that cold lonely
cell for two days without food.

Personally, I can't make it from
breakfast to lunch without a snack.

You look enchanting.

Look, do I really have to wear this?

It's not, really me.

Feel free to take it off.

You make my skin crawl.

You should accept my hospitality with
a little more graciousness, Tyra.

Why should I accept anything from you?

Perhaps you would show more reverence...

if you were dead.

But where's the fun in that.

I'm sure we can come to some
sort of understanding.

One, mutually beneficial to both of us.

Think of it, Tyra.

You could end the war,

the misery, the bloodshed,
today, right now,

and that is only the beginning of
what awaits you as my queen.

Together...

we could usher Pangea into a new era...

of galactic dominance.

You're a lousy kisser.

Yeah.

Even in her dreams she resists me.

She's stronger than I thought.

Take her back to her cell, Dr. Yal-Tem.

Yes, my lord.

And now, a special announcement from,
Captain Zoom.

After a life or death struggle like that nothing restores
my energy cells more than a big glass of Chocko Socko.

Tell your mom and dad
to pick some up today.

And remember kids,

send in today for your own
Space Rangers' patch,

official membership card
and decoder ring,

just like Captain Zoom's.

That's right, Happy.

All you need are 25 labels from
any Chocko Socko product

and 10 cents for shipping and handling.

And for you Rangers out there who
already have your decoder rings,

have them ready so you can
understand my secret message.

So remember kids, Chocko Socko is boffo.

And now, we return to
Captain Zoom and the Temple of Death.

Now that's what I call a smooth landing.

No time for celebrating, Happy.

We must say the secret
words to open the temple.

I don't know about anybody else, but I
have my secret decoder ring ready to go.

Stand back, Happy.

The secret words...

to open the gates to the lost,
temple are...

Oh no.

...are...

Hurry, Captain Zoom, hurry.

Yes, Happy, I'm concentrating...

words are, coming to me...

OFFOB... SI... OKCOS... OKCOHC!

Thank you for opening the temple,
Captain Zoom.

I'll take over now.

Genghis Fon.

You evil genius. How did you find us?

A tracking device we put on
your jovial sidekick, Happy.

The secrets of the temple,
will be mine now.

Say goodbye, Captain Zoom.

Is that in the script?

The subatomic transport's working.
I did it.

Was there any doubt?

Great God Almighty, she's breaking up!

Baley,
I may suggest we seek immediate cover!

Where am I?

What the hell happened?

Welcome Captain Zoom.

You're on the planet Pangea.

I'm sorry I had to bring you
here without warning, but,

I need you to save my
sister and her civilization.

Didn't we do this episode
in the first season?

Wait...

how did I get here?

Well, it was a cinch
to fold time and space,

and use your carrier wave to
guide my transportation beam,

but the only hard part was reconfiguring
your brain waves so we could communicate.

I know what's going on here.

I'm on "This Is Your Life."

Where's Ralph Edwards?
Ralph, get out here.

Where are you, ya old dog?

Ralph?

We heard an explosion.
Who's Mr. Fancy Pants?

Put your weapons down.
This is Captain Zoom.

I brought him here to help us save Tyra.

Is this true?

No, I'm not Captain Zoom. I'm Ty Farrell.

Maybe you read about my Oberon in "A Midsummer
Night's Dream" at the Hartford Playhouse?

It was summer stock but most of
the New York papers covered it.

Ty Farrell, the actor?

What's an actor?

You know, I act.

I pretend I'm somebody else for money.

Ah, so you're a spy. Kill him.

Whoa, hey hey hey,
listen just a second, fellas.

Now look, I don't know what I've done, I don't
know who you are, I don't know where I am,

but you just can't up and kill me.

Uh, sure we can.

Ah, you, you've passed the test.

Test?

Yes, ah...

I am, Captain Zoom,

and I just...

wanted to be sure that I could trust you,
with my secret identity.

That's Pangea.

No, it's 100% cotton.

I thought I might find you here.

Given the fact these are my chambers I doubt if
it was much of a strain on your psychic powers.

I've come to take your mind
off that, Pangean whore.

Wouldn't you rather be with
one of your own kind?

You're the high priestess of
our people. It'd be like...

making love to my mother.

I never enjoyed that.

Vesper I've, reached a stalemate
with these Pangeans.

Just when I think I have won they, disappear into
their jungles, eluding defeat for another day.

Your psychic ability is the advantage
I need to crush them.

If you lose your... pureness,
you lose your powers.

Can't risk that. I need to
take this world whole.

I need Pangea.

Your needs,
we're always talking about your needs.

What about my needs?

The answer is "no."

How long do I have to wait?

Till the next priestess is old enough
to take your place.

She's only three and a half!

What does it mean, what do you see?

I see...

I see...

I see a new man among the rebels.

He has defeated many enemies.

He's a hero to millions.

What else do you see? Tell me.

His name is Captain Zoom.

He comes from a distant planet.

He has great powers.

Where does he get them from?

Chocko...

Socko.

Who is this... Captain Zoom?

Who is Lord Vox?

Thousands of millennia ago,

Zell, the terrestrial mother, and Gar,

father of the cosmos gave birth
to Rhea, God among men.

Wait, wait. This sounds long. Is
there a Reader's Digest version?

Rhea, led this planet
into its first golden age.

But then the planet got sick.

Thus began the time of
the great dispersion.

All right, let me make it simple for you.

A lot of people who
used to live here, left.

But, you still haven't answered
my question, who is Lord Vox?

His race is the Vectrons.

Their ancestors were among those who
left Pangea thousands of centuries ago.

He knows that this world,
the beginning of all life,

is the key, to holding his power,
over his subjects.

For somewhere, on Pangea,

lie the great secrets of the ancients.

Thanks for the Sunday school lesson.
Now... Tyra,

is a, prisoner of this Vox character?

Yes, aboard the flagship
in orbit around the planet.

Well, why don't you use your
spaceships to rescue her?

We, uh... don't have any spaceships.

Huh... and this, Vox has a
whole lot of soldiers, right?

And many weapons.

And, you don't have any spaceships,

but you do have a handful of guys,

a few guns, and a couple of horses,
right?

We also have you.

And our faith.

Okay.

I've given this a lot of thought,

and I have a plan to save your leader.

But it's a plan that requires
flawless execution,

and since I,
only demand perfection for myself,

I must go alone.

There goes a brave man.

Oh, I can't believe this.
What is going on?

What did I do to deserve this?

I'm going to talk to my agent,
first thing in the morning.

How the hell did I end up on another
planet? I've never even been to Europe.

Easy. Easy boy. Nice fella.

Come on!

Come on!

Okay, she missed the episode,
where I defeated the Lizard King.

Section one, stand by.

Roger that.

- Who are you guys?
- I am Lieutenant Zorg.

Thank God, the police.

What a day!

First I'm stuck in makeup,
for 45 minutes,

then these loony rebels,
zap me across the universe,

and then the Loch Ness monster here
thinks I'm a shrimp cocktail and...

Bring the big mouth to the ship.

Be brave my brother, don't lose hope.

Where are we?

We're prisoners on Lord Vox's flagship.

Oh God, no, no, please no.

Are you a warrior?

No, I'm Ty Farrell, the actor.

Somebody who pretends to be
somebody else for money.

So that's it, you're a spy for Lord Vox.

I'm not a spy.

Hitchcock wouldn't even
see me for "Notorious."

Well forget it, you'll never trick me into telling
you the whereabouts of the rebel camp.

Rebel camp?

- Are you Tyra?
- Yes,

and if Vox kills me, my people will
find another ruler to lead them.

That would be me.

You?

My people, chose you?

I have to get home.

Well that's fine with me.

I mean I don't even know
what the hell happened.

Seems like only yesterday I was...

enjoying room service in my
suite at the Plaza Hotel.

Complimentary champagne, chateaubriand.

Alicia the night maid...

Oh, I really feel for you.

Personally, I wouldn't know what it feels

like to give up such extravagances since

I've spent my whole life engaged in a

life or death struggle trying to

preserve the homeland of my people.

Gee, it's too bad that cute butt has such

a big stick stuck up it.

Oh, and I wanted

so bad for you to like me.

Listen lady, if

it wasn't for you I
wouldn't even be here.

I didn't bring you here.

No, but your brother did, to rescue you.

Kudos on a job well done.

You're here to kill him, right.

Quiet!

Hey, listen fellas I don't suppose it

would make any difference if I told you

that Vice President Nixon's kids

are big fans of my show.

Lord Vox wants to
personally interrogate you.

And I'd love to, but I'm really trying
to limit my personal appearances...

Thank you.

Now, this just gets better and better.

Hi.

Listen, you look like a reasonable fella.

What do I have to do to get out of here?

Just, tell the truth.

What's your name?

Ty Farrell.

I love the smell of burning flesh.

That wasn't the truth.

Okay, Ty Farrell's my stage name.

My real name is...

Eugene Oshovsky.

And... where are you from... Eugene?

Well I was...

born in Riverside, Iowa,
but I just recently signed a,

lease for a small brownstone
off Sutton Place.

You may have heard of
the previous owner,

the grand dame of American
theater, Helen Hayes.

I was telling the truth.

I know, stop embellishing your answers.

Where were you, trained?

I took some night classes at the
Academy of Dramatic Arts.

Is there another Captain Zoom?

No.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. There are a couple of guys that
put on the suit for supermarket openings.

But I do my own stunts.

Okay, okay. Not all the time.

I have a bad back.

I didn't embellish.

I know, I just don't like you.

This is gonna be fun.

For me too.

Coach, you can't take me out now.

My dad's out there and, he may not,
get to see me play again.

No, he's not sick.
He's going on a cruise.

Ah, Dr. Yal-Tem,

and what did you find out
about his weapon?

It's a fake.

See?

All of his equipment's phony.

But, we're still working on
cracking that code ring.

This must be some cruel cosmic joke.

Fry him.

Fry him.

Never, NEVER,
point anything at me.

No wait!

Don't destroy the prisoner yet.
I need to probe his mind.

But Lord Vox ordered me...

Listen, fathead!

Are you going to question
the high priestess of Val?

Now, have him taken to my chambers.

Yes, High Priestess.

With a little time,

I will have the answers
to many mysteries.

Mysteries...

It was all a dream,
just a terrible dream.

Now baby, I can't guarantee you a part on
the show, but they do like to keep me happy.

What are you doing?

I'm probing your mind.

My minds up here sweetheart.

What did you say your name was?

I am Vesper.

High priestess of the
Psychic Sisters of Val.

Sorceress of the Vectron Order.

Who's apparently hornyer
than a rhinoceros herd.

I can't do this, mustn't do this,
it is the law.

I have a responsibility to
my people, my religion.

You Catholic too?

Ah, the hell with it. Yes, yes, Yes!

You got another cigarette,
I like to smoke afterwards, too.

Vesper?

My...

my...

psychic powers...

no...

no...

You were ah, you were great, baby.

I'll call you.

Hey!

Guards, guards!

Let me go.

- Shut up ya little runt.
- Let me go.

Not the face, not the face!

Oh please.

Come on, we gotta get out of here.

Keep moving, prisoner.

Halt!

State your business.

This sniveling coward is going
to lead us to the rebels.

I'm to put him on the ship
and await Lord Vox.

I was not informed of this.

Don't you want to capture the rebels?

Yes, yes!

I will bring Val to the rebels for
I have waited my whole life,

to see these impudent turncoats
brought to justice.

Wait here.

My whole life, dost thou hear?

I heard.

What the hell was that?

It's acting, it's what I do.

Well, you do it badly.

- Trouble on the main hanger deck.
- They're rebels, seize them!

I'm commin', I'm commin'!

Come on!

Hit the red auto drive
button on the right.

I said to the right!

Is that my right or
camera right?

I'll hold them off.
You get us out of here.

Tyra, where's the clutch?

Just hold it steady.

Excuse me my lord.

I thought I told you never to interrupt
me, when I was in conference.

Yes sir, but the prisoners have escaped.

Tyra!

I'm a little busy!

Much better.

This is way too easy.

Fire!

Whoa, this guy's good.

We're being pursued.
Energize the pulse ray emitter.

Is that like turning on my high beams?

Get up, get up!

Sit down and start shooting.

Now, this, I can do!

I played a tail gunner in "Desperate Journey"
starring Errol Flynn and Ronald Reagan.

It was a small part but it
did a lot for my career.

Shut up and fight.

Hey, I nailed him.

We're targeted.

Don't worry, I got him
right where I want him.

Stand up proud now bad boy.

Come on, hurry up.

Say good night, Pangean scum.

Fire!

Come on.

We gotta put some distance
between us and that escape pod.

Lady, I'm getting a little tired
of you bossing me around.

Listen to me,

it'll be very easy for them to track

down that pod. Now, move it.

Don't push me.

I've had a terrible day and my analyst

is in another solar system.

You hold them off. I'll go get help.

Mommy!

Hey, stay where you are!

Okay, okay, I'm innocent.

Wonder Woman here took me prisoner.

Go go!

Hold it!

Now what?

My ankle, I think it's broken.

You better go on without me.

Okay.

Wait!

You can't just leave me here.

Come on...

come on, come on.

Come, come on!

They're coming.

They're coming!

Hail Captain Zoom.
He saved our beloved Tyra.

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom.

This is a great day for Pangea.

The evil plans of Lord Vox
have been thwarted,

thanks solely,

to the heroic efforts, of a
stranger from another time,

Captain Zoom.

Zoom, Zoom.

Well...

first I'd just like to say that...

I didn't do it alone.

There really is another
person I have to thank,

the great acting teacher Lee Strasberg.

And even though I wasn't
accepted into his program,

I still remember his credo;

observe, listen, and
react, spontaneously.

And I'm sure you'll
all agree that today...

I passed the course.

So...

I, uh, hate to eat and run but
I really need to get back.

Uh, what time does my flight leave?

Um... Captain Zoom...

I can't send you home right away.

You see, when I brought you here,

I used up all the xenon isotopes.

And, it takes time for the new ones to decay,
to the necessary level of radioactivity.

Great, I have time for dessert.

So when are these isotopes
going to be ready?

In about... 12 million years.

Um, Captain Zoom?

You know I was just wondering
which one of those stars...

is home?

Actually it's, that one.

You know fate's a funny thing kid.

What do you mean?

Well, before I became Captain Zoom, I was
just another chiseled profile in the crowd,

an out-of-work actor with big dreams

just about to give up and go back into my
dad's aluminum siding business when,

fate intervened.

The wife of a Chocko Socko executive saw
me with my shirt off cleaning a pool and...

before I know it I was a household name.

Now look at me.

Seems like fate just
can't leave me alone.

I'm sorry captain.

It's okay kid.

At least I don't have the
IRS on my back anymore.

But I do feel sorry for all the folks back
on the show probably just lost their jobs.

Without me...

there is no Captain Zoom.

Smoking rockets, this new face will
surely fool your enemies, Captain Zoom.

That's right, Happy.

Sometimes the Gods let
us carry the full weight,

of the choices we make.

I was hoping that a power much larger than
myself might share in the decision to surrender.

Why surrender?

For the first time in years,
the people of Pangea, have hope.

But it's a false hope.

When I was aboard Vox's ship,
I saw his armies, his determination.

He won't give up and
we're totally outmatched.

It's suicide to go on.

Tyra.

I remember a problem your
father faced, similar to this.

Vox had only just arrived back then,

and your father thought that
surrender was inevitable.

Why did he decide to fight?

You were born...

and he couldn't bear the thought of his
little girl, enduring a life of slavery.

Yes, well,

there might have been hope then.

Now there isn't.

Yes, there is.

Prophecy is being fulfilled.

Pangea's new golden age is beginning.

The signs are clear.

What signs?

The arrival of the Promised One.

Him? You can't be serious.

Prophecy says...

he will come from afar
wearing the symbol of Pangea.

It is written, he will make
our enemies his enemies.

I don't know Sagan.

And with the arrival of the Promised One,

we will find the lost temple of Rhea,

and there will our destiny be fulfilled.

I find it hard to believe
he is our savior.

You must have faith.

How's it goin' up there?

How could I have been so easily fooled?

Captain Zoom is, obviously more dangerous
than I ever imagined.

Why are you smiling?

Am I smiling?

I didn't realize.

It must be because of...

my new vision, yes.

I see... I see...

What, what do you see?

It's coming, it's coming. Don't rush me!

Oh, I see it now.

It's crystal clear.

Oh, Lord Vox, you're really gonna hit the
jackpot on this one.

Will we... kill many rebels?

And how.

I see many bodies,
strewn across the ground,

smoking, charred, from the relentless
blaster fire.

Yes, yes, I love it!

Go on.

Go on?

Smoking from the fire,
bodies, charred, strewn.

What about, Captain Zoom?

You will easily defeat him yourself,

in hand-to-hand combat,

and hold his severed head up in triumph.

Good. Very good.

I thought so.

My lord...

- we located the rebel camp.
- Excellent!

Send four legions to the location immediately,
but have them wait for my command.

I want a front row seat,
for the apocalypse.

* Buffalo gal,
won't you come out tonight, *

* won't you come out tonight,
won't you come out tonight, *

* buffalo gal *
* won't you come out tonight. *

* la la la la la *

Don't worry, I didn't see anything.

Oh, we can fix that.
Why don't you join me?

We're leaving on a dangerous mission
to find the lost temple of Rhea,

and we have no idea whether we're
going to make it back alive.

Well, send me a postcard.

Vox is going to be furious
about our escape

and he's going to send
everything he has after us.

You won't be safe here for long.

And how much safer am I going to be in the woods
with you and your little road company of Brigadoon.

All right, if you would rather spend the rest
of your life living here on Pangea in fear

and never see your precious
Plaza Hotel again,

it's fine with me.

Wait, wait, wait wait wait.
What do you mean?

Well, Sagan told me that
in the temple of Rhea,

we will most certainly find
a way to get you home.

Home?

New York? Cheesecake at Lindy's?

Is this a trick?

Maybe where you come from
people resort to lies and trickery

to bend the will of others,
but that is not the Pangean way.

Sorry, sorry, just give me five minutes
to run a comb through my hair.

Search the camp.

Nothing yet, Lieutenant Zorg.

Come on men, keep looking.

The place is deserted.

Here he comes.

Bring me Captain Zoom!

A clean getaway, and no one got hurt.

Not a bad plan, if I do say so myself.

It was truly inspired, Captain.

I thought so. Don't you agree,
Tyra that my plan was inspired?

Yes, brilliant.

I just hope it bought our people
enough time to go into hiding.

Oh, don't worry. It worked for me and Happy,
we were trapped on that planet full of Amazons.

The evil Empress Cleomanche was so busy looking for a
stolen ship she didn't even notice the slave girls escaping.

That sounds like an exciting
adventure, Captain.

Are you kidding? All those broads in
loincloths, it was a smorgasbord.

I saw you burn down the camp.

It was just as I pictured it.

It was deserted.

And they stole another one of my ships!

I knew it. I saw that, too.

You said you saw many dead rebels.

You told me I would hold up the
severed head of Captain Zoom.

I don't remember giving
you a time and a place.

How you interpret my
visions is your problem.

Vesper!

You said when you tried
to probe Zoom's mind,

he knocked you out, then escaped.

That's right.

He broke free of my mind hold
and knocked me out.

Then he said if I, if I tried
to follow him he'd kill me.

Of course, I wouldn't know he said
that if he'd knocked me out, but...

I have a Fansian coin
in one of my hands.

Tell me which one.

Left.

Well done, Vesper.

Shall we go for two out of three?

This is insane. I'm not gonna stand here

and waste the precious gift given to me

by the great God Val on some

stupid carnival trick.

The coins in your right hand.

It is one thing to betray religion,

to betray your race.

It is another thing to betray me.

I had the privilege alone
to take your power from you.

To give it up for this...

insignificant meddler.

You've got more time.

You shall pay.

According to legend, the temple of Rhea's

in the hidden valley of the ancients.

Okay, where's that?

It isn't on the map.

That's why they call it
the hidden valley.

The temple was guarded
by the gatekeepers.

Prophecy says,
only the Promised One can gain access.

But if it's hidden
how are we going to find it?

There's something directly in our path.

It's Lord Vox. He's found us.

No, it's not Vox. It's an escape pod.

And there's a distress signal
coming from it.

- Bring it aboard.
- It could be a trap.

Leave it alone.

Sensors indicate there is
a female life form aboard.

Bring it aboard.

One move and you're dust.

Oh, please.

Zoom!

Oh, I thought I'd never see you again.

You know him?

Know him?

Everybody, this is high priestess Vesper.

Vesper this is everybody.

The high priestess of Val,

the spiritual leader of Vox's hordes?

Her deadly sorcery is an abomination
to our beliefs.

See, she wears the Vectron amulet.

It is written, this dark witch must die.

Take a pill old woman.

I've been banished by Vox,
stripped of my position,

cast out of my religion. My past is

meaningless, my future uncertain.
I have nothing.

But that doesn't matter,
cause now I have you.

She's lying.
According to the laws of Vox's religion,

the only way he could banish her is if
she had forsaken her psychic powers,

and the only way that could happen
is if she...

I'm tossing her out the airlock.

Go ahead, but I could help you
find the temple of Rhea.

That is where you're going, isn't it?

How did you know that?

I used to have powers.

Years ago I had a vision,

a vision about the
gatekeepers to the temple.

What was your vision?

That they live near the
sulfur springs of Brunia.

- She's bluffing.
- No.

The sulfur springs of Brunia are
known only to the elders of Pangea.

There's no way she could
even know their name.

Unless you were telling the truth.

You better be right.

Don't worry. We'll be in and out of that temple
before Vox even has a chance to find us.

We found them.

Well fire!

We lost the main engine.

We're going down!

I knew we shouldn't have picked her up.

Pull up! Pull up!

We've got no power.

Impact in - six - five - four - three

two - one - impact!

Good work. Lunch everybody.

Well, can you do anything with it?

Of course he can, he's a genius.

I'll do my best but,

I've got no spare parts,
none of the right tools,

and the service manual's
in another language.

You can start work in the morning.

Here, get some rest.

Thanks.

You try sleeping next to me,
you won't wake up.

Who said anything about sleeping?

You know, it's comforting to know men are
exactly the same even across the galaxy.

You, don't like me, do you?

Oh, what's not to like?

You're an unprincipled, self-centered jerk whose
main concern in life is how his hair looks.

My hair does look good, doesn't it?

Oh...

You want me.

It's written all over your face.

I've seen your type before, you're just
like Betty Davis in "All About Eve."

Pardon?

Oh, hard on the outside, but inside,
scared and insecure.

You're so busy being tough,
taking care of everybody else,

- you never think about yourself.
- And that's all you think about.

You talk about what a
great actor you are.

Why don't you try acting like a leader.

You know...

I usually don't have to work
this hard with women.

Look,

I wish I was everything these people
think I am, but I am not a hero.

I just play one on television.

That shouldn't stop you from trying.

So...

where are you, bunking tonight?

I don't think so.

You guys going somewhere?

Uh-huh, on a scouting mission.

The sulfur springs are near here.

Vesper recognizes the area
from her visions.

Stimulus and I are going to be gone
for most of the day.

We're taking the robot with us.

I do have a name.

I'm leaving you in charge.

Think you can handle it?

I managed a softball team for the
Broadway Show League for two summers.

I think I can handle this.

Sorry.

We must be getting close,
I can smell the sulfur.

Can you smell it, Stimulus.

Yes, I wasn't going to say anything.

Warning, warning, life forms approaching!

Which direction?

From all directions, 50 meters away.

Why don't I see anything?

Unknown, now 40 meters away
and still closing.

35...

30.

They must be invisible.

25.

20.

15.

10 meters.

I still don't see anything.

Nine meters.

Where are they?

Eight,

seven, six, five, four,
three, two meters!

One meter, they're here, they're here!

The crash must have messed up her
circuitry, she's clearly malfunctioning.

Tyra!

Somebody's got me. Grab hold of something

What would you suggest?

- Tyra!
- On your left!

I told you there were life forms.

Hurry up, kid.

So, I guess you're not mad at me anymore.

No,
not now that I have you all to myself.

Look, Vesper, I don't want to give
you the wrong impression.

We had some fun,
we shared some laughs.

I gave up a sacred gift for you.

And it's not that I don't appreciate
the sacrifice, it's just...

I'm just not ready to
settle down with one...

high priestess.

What are you trying to say to me?

Kid, how much longer is this gonna take?

I was done a while ago,
I was just listening.

Hey, somebody help me, anybody.

What happened, Illumina?
Where's Tyra and Stimulus?

I don't know. I can't remember.

- Bailey, help me.
- What's wrong with her?

She's had a sensory overload.
It's affected her memory bank.

Well, just slap her on the back.
That's what I do with my TV.

Illumina, try audio playback.

That's Tyra.

How would you know that?

Oh, they're in trouble. What do we do?

How can we find them, Bailey?

I can reprogram Illumina's sensors, so she
can lead us to where they disappeared.

Look, I don't want to end up dead.

I say we should just let the kid fix
the rocket and let's get out of here.

She's got a point.

It is written,

that if someone chooses to
live as a coward,

he chooses not to live.

It is also written that a certain old woman
with no fashion sense should butt out.

We can't just give up.

We have to at least try don't we?

Listen Bailey,

you want someone to entertain the troops,
I'm your man.

But leading rescue missions,
fighting alien hordes,

hey, I'm just wrong for the part.

So you're not a hero.

Just Monday through Friday,
4:30 to 5 Eastern Time.

So that's it,

you're just gonna abandon
my sister and my best friend,

just leave 'em out there to die?

You're right.

You're not the Defender of the Universe,

not the Promised One,

you're nothing.

You know Bailey,

nobody talks to Ty Farrell like that.

I am a big star,

and I have my own TV show,

and everybody's always
telling me how great I am.

Oh, terrific work Ty, fabulous Ty,

I don't know how you do it Ty.

And you know what,

after a while you start to believe it...

but deep down you know the truth,

and you're right kid,

I am nothing,

and I have some work to do
on my character.

Let's go save your sister, kid.

Perfect.

Stuck in the wilderness with
the wrong pair of shoes.

My sensors indicate this is where
our comrades were attacked.

Good, then we should learn
from their mistakes and leave.

Now, on Illumina's recording it sounded
like they were being dragged away.

Then why aren't I picking up any
tissue traces along the ground.

Perhaps they weren't
dragged along the ground.

- What do you mean?
- Oh, don't fall for her act. She doesn't know.

In religion school, they teach us to answer a
question with a question. It makes us sound wise.

Wait a minute,

I think Sagan is on to something.

I'm picking up a maze
of tunnels underneath us.

If they were dragged underground,
we wouldn't pick up any traces.

Is there an entrance?

100 meters in that direction.

Good work, Sagan.

She didn't do anything.

I've never heard of an underground race.

There's nothing written about
one in Pangean scripture.

Guess we don't know
everything then, do we?

I just wish they get to the light so
we can see what we're up against.

Sometimes it's better not to know.
Keeps you from thinking twice.

I say we move in and hope for the best.

Oh yeah, what are we waiting for.

We've got an old woman, a bratty kid,
a screwed up robot, an ego-mad womanizer.

These guys don't stand a chance.

Look, nobody asked you to come along and
don't you ever call my Bailey a brat.

And I'm supposed to listen
to a trash can that talks.

Perhaps if you would listen,
you'd learn something.

You tell his circuits.

Enough!

We've got to find Tyra and Stimulus.

Who are you people?

What do you want from us?

I asked you a question!

Who are you?!

Don't you want something to eat?

Not if it's what they had.

Here... eat.

Leave it alone.

No one should ever see what
Vox's torturers did to me.

Oh...

it's, it's...

Ugly even to someone who can't see.

No.

You're so big and powerful but,

I feel such, kindness.

Love.

My guess is that Tyra and Stimulus
are locked up in those cells.

We're gonna have to bust them out.

What is your plan?

We'll light a small fire, we'll generate
as much smoke as possible,

and in the confusion,
we'll rescue Tyra and Stimulus.

We'll be gone before the smoke clears.

Think it'll work?

Sure, we did it every season.

That's the only decent diversion
the writers came up with.

See!

Choking!

It would have worked.

I mean, who knew they
didn't need eyes to see?

Careful, buddy. This costume was
designed by two-time Oscar winner...

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom...

Greetings, Captain.

Oh, Stimulus.

Am I glad to see you. I thought I was
gonna have to fight one of these people.

Prepare to die, Captain.

Stimulus...

I'm not horsing around.
Somebody could get hurt.

You catch on quickly.

Oh great.

You're excellent with the sword, Captain.

Some of the best deals in Hollywood,

are made on a tennis court.

Had enough?

Stimulus, what's gotten into you?

If I kill you,
they'll let me live among them.

Oh, this is wonderful, and they
seem like such a nice people.

You don't understand.

In this land of the sightless,
I'm not hideous.

But I don't think you're hideous.

That's because I've
never shown you my face.

All those who've seen it are repulsed.

But you're judging me
without giving me a chance.

I won't be repulsed.

Jeez, Louise.

All right so I was wrong alright.
Looks aren't everything.

It's how you feel about yo...

Simulus!

Go ahead, Stimulus. Finish me off
if that's what you have to do.

Huh, hey, maybe they'll let you kill the
others, too. The people who accepted you,

who never asked you to murder anybody
just to prove your loyalty.

I'm sorry, Captain.

It's okay, Stimulus.

Forget it folks,

we're through putting on
a show for you people.

You want to see Captain
Zoom fight, buy a TV set.

Zoom?

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom...

Sorry guys, I don't have any
eight by tens to autograph.

Zoom!

Oh Promised One,

Great Rhea instructed us to
prepare for your arrival.

We have waited
uncounted lifetimes.

Captain.

These must be the gatekeepers.

Uh, is, is that true?

Can you, tell us, uh,
uh, the directions...

to the temple... of Rhea?

Is there another Captain Zoom?

We can lead you no further.

None of us has ever been
beyond this point.

It is written,

only the Promised One,
will return from the voyage.

The Promised One and
his friends right?

Thank you, Oh Promised One, for
allowing us to fulfill, our destiny.

Zoom, Zoom,
Zoom, Zoom...

I thought it was a big deal when I was Grand
Marshal of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

You know, this boat doesn't
really look big enough.

I'll stay here.

You are welcome here, sister.

On second thought, let the kid
and his girlfriend stay.

Hey.

No Bailey, she's right.

It's too dangerous.

I will come back for you.

I know you will.

You know, if it's really
gonna be that dangerous...

Sit.

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom...

So long folks.

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom...

Look.

I never thought I'd live to see it...

the coming of the Promised One...

memorized by the first
high priestess of Pangea,

and handed down to each
of her successors.

So this is where it is
written... is written.

I don't believe it...

you really are the Promised One.

I knew it. I prophesied it first.

How could this be?

I just can't...

That's me.

They didn't get the chin quite right,

but that's me. How could this happen?

The passage of time, was an obsolete
concept to the ancients.

They were the masters of
the past and of the future.

But, come on, of all the
people in the universe...

they choose me?

And my old man said
I'd never amount to anything.

Which way?

Let's go to the left.

That's the direction our
scripture's always written from.

Which direction does the
Promised One want to go in?

The Promised One...

says that way.

We'll ride it out the Promised One.

Look, the tunnel is ending.

You made the right choice, Captain.

Of course I made the right choice,
I am the Promised One.

Excellent choice, Captain.

The Promised One,
does not appreciate sarcasm.

Come, we must find the temple of Rhea.

Right. We have a prophecy to fulfill.

Huh...

I say we go... that way.

Uh, Captain.

Perhaps we should just,
go up these stairs.

The Promised One concurs.

Would you stop calling yourself that.

What, it's written.

Carefull.

Behold, the house of the great God Rhea.

Could use a little landscaping.

Hey, wait.

I've seen these doors before.

In your dream?

No, no, in my TV show.

It looks like the set of the episode I
was doing when Bailey brought me here.

What the?

What's happening?

It is written,

that the Promised One will know
the prayer, to open the door.

What prayer?

Oh, come on, I can't remember dialog,
that's why I use que cards!

My hair, my hair!

Hurry!

Hurry, Captain, time to pray.

I mean I...

Hurry, Captain Zoom, hurry...

OFFOB...

SI...

OKCOS...

OKCOHC!

You remembered the words.

I didn't need cue cards.

All I had to do was remember how to
say Chocko Socko is boffo backwards.

Chocko Socko?

The great Rhea.

From him we will attain the
power to free our people.

Or...

Let's go!

...the power to enslave your people,

depending on how you look at it.

Excuse me, excuse me.

How, did you find us?

I owe it all to my unceremoniously
defrocked high priestess.

I knew you were a traitor.

We should have left you
floating in space.

I didn't lead him here, I swear.

Of course you did, my darling.

Your, Vectron amulet...

is a tracking device.

You've got to believe me, I didn't know.

Don't worry about it Vesper,
they won't shun you for long.

You'll all be dead in a moment.

Doesn't Lord Vox prefer to torture and
mutilate his victims, before killing 'em.

You seem familiar but
I can't place the face.

Perhaps you'd remember me
if I was screaming in agony

as your torturer seared the skin off
my face with a white hot scalpel.

Sorry, that doesn't really
help narrow it down.

Now, let's see.

Who has, pissed me off, the most.

That would be you, my love.

However...

I'll give you one last chance
to share my throne.

I would rather die a thousand deaths.

Well...

let me help you get started.

Run Tyra!

Oh, God!

God!

Ah!

Wait 30 seconds.

Kill 'em!

Get up!

Vesper.

High Priestess.

At least, I didn't die a virgin.

Where was this written?

Temper, temper, Captain.

I've spared your life this long.

Don't make me kill you
before we finished.

What do you mean,
spared my life this long?

For years I've studied the
ancient legends of Pangea.

I could have laid waste
to the planet years ago,

but how could I risk destroying
some vital clue to its secrets.

Then came Captain Zoom.

Dear Captain Zoom,

when you stole my Vesper's purity, I knew
then that you were fulfilling prophecy.

I simply, sat back and let you
lead me to the grand prize.

The power of Rhea.

And now...

I shall give you all the opportunity
to witness my coronation.

Coronation?

Oh, dear Tyra...

with the power of Rhea
I can subjugate the weak,

and destroy all those who will
not bow down before me.

I will use their blood, to paint a
pathway of fear across the universe.

You're looking at the next, the first...

Emperor, of Everything!

Can't decide, huh?

Guess somebody didn't study his
ancient legends hard enough.

Is it the sword, or the scroll?

Which one will help you
subjugate the weak,

or kill all those fools who don't
bow down before you.

Is it the sword Vox...

or is it the scroll?

Hurry, Rhea doesn't have all day.

Now, if it was me...

Will you shut up?!

Fine, just trying to help.

It's the sword.

You're trying to trick me.

You said that so I won't
take the sword.

The power of Rhea...

and it is mine!

Look!

It's alive.

Come back, you fools.

Great Rhea,
is going to pay me his respects.

What an unexpected pleasure.

I've heard so much about you.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

This contains,
the secrets of the ancients.

With it we can lead Pangea
into a new golden age.

How did you know to trick Vox
into taking the sword?

The pen is mightier than the sword.

Another first season show.

We got a Peabody Award for
getting kids to read more.

Hey, why you dancing with her?

You see that?

That's where I was born,

that's where I went to school,

that's where I used to look at the stars.

Captain...

You don't have to say anything, Tyra.

I know you lied about there being
a way for me to get home.

I didn't have a choice.

Yes you did.

But you made the right one.

Captain, I swear to you,

somehow, someday,
I will find a way to get you home.

You know, you'd like New York.

Oh, first a Broadway show,

no, then a hansom cab ride
through Central Park,

and then we'd sweep into 21,

and all the heads would turn...

Because they'd all be looking at you.

No.

Because no one on Earth has ever,
seen a woman as beautiful as you.

Thank you.

It's nothing, thank me later...

when we're alone in your tent...

and you'll have one more reason
to call me the Promised One.

Enough.

They want you to make a speech.

You're their hero.

And mine.

Ah, well.

I, just want to say to you guys,
that, uh...

well you've been great.

I'm a little new here and you've...

really made me feel at home.

And, uh...

well if there's...

one thing I've learned...

it's that Captain Zoom's destiny,

as Defender of the Universe,

was written in the stars.

We can never rest...

in our continuing war against
injustice and oppression.

Together we can be...

we must be...

we will be...

victorious.

That's why Captain Zoom is here.

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom,

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom...

Dandysubs.