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1
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:09,877
THAT'S THE FUNNIEST PART.
2
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,011
I'M TOTALLY
LOL-ING RIGHT NOW.
3
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:12,780
HILARE, RIGHT?
4
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,916
- SO HILARE.
- WHAT'S SO HILARE?
5
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:18,152
IT'S ONE THOSE SUPER-CATCHY
VIRAL VIDEOS.
6
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,521
BUT YOU WOULDN'T
GET IT, DAD, BECAUSE--
7
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,556
all:
"YOU DON'T GOT THE BREAD."
8
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:23,957
YEAH, DAD,
9
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,859
YOU DON'T GOT THE BREAD.
10
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,364
all:
OH, NO, YOU DURDN'T!
11
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,333
YEAH, YEAH.
12
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,202
YOU THINK THAT I DON'T GET IT,
BUT I GET IT.
13
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,137
I GET IT 'CAUSE
YOU DON'T GOT THE BREAD.
14
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,506
WELL I GOT THE BREAD
'CAUSE I WENT SHOPPING.
15
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,941
LOOK AT THIS.
PRINCIPLE TEMPLEMAN SENT
16
00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:43,577
A LETTER TO ALL THE PARENTS
IN JANIE'S CLASS.
17
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,313
APPARENTLY THERE'S BEEN
SOME DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR,
18
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,647
BUT IT DOESN'T SAY WHO IT IS.
19
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,682
I KNOW WHO IT IS.
20
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,084
IT'S JANIE'S LITTLE
KNOW-IT-ALL FRIEND, CHARLOTTE.
21
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,985
ALWAYS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.
22
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,321
"DON'T PARK THERE MR. HOBBS.
23
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,389
THAT'S A HANDICAPPED SPOT."
24
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,725
WELL, WHOEVER IT IS,
TEMPLEMAN WANTS ALL THE PARENTS
25
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,394
TO TALK TO THEIR KIDS
ABOUT PROPER CLASSROOM CONDUCT.
26
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,330
WELL, I THINK WE'RE OKAY THERE, HONEY.
27
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,665
'CAUSE WE'VE TAUGHT OUR KIDS
PROPER CONDUCT.
28
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:09,002
DIE, FITZY, YOU SHOE SCUM!
YEAH, YEAH. HU-WAH!
29
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,938
WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
30
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,740
OH, I JUST
CLOTHESLINED FITZY.
31
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,508
AND I'M ABOUT
TO SHATTER HIS GLASSES
32
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,144
WITH A FLYING
EYE-SOCKET ROCKET.
33
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,411
WOW.
34
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,380
NOT A GOOD DAY TO BE FITZY.
35
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,682
IT'S NEVER A GOOD DAY
TO BE FITZY, MR. HOBBS.
36
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,152
WELL, LISTEN, I KNOW YOU GUYS
ARE INTO THIS WRESTLING THING,
37
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,254
BUT YOU CAN GET
SERIOUSLY HURT.
38
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,690
NOW YOU DON'T CLOTHESLINE
A FRIEND LIKE THAT, OKAY?
39
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,692
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW
TO DO IT PROPERLY.
40
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,661
I BET YOU'RE ALL WONDERING
41
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,163
HOW I KNOW SO MUCH
ABOUT WRESTLING.
42
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:39,167
HE WANTS ONE OF YOU TO ASK.
43
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,434
HOW DO YOU KNOW,
MR. HOBBS?
44
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,503
GLAD YOU ASKED, FITZY.
45
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:43,604
BECAUSE MANY YEARS AGO,
I DID A LITTLE MOVIE CALLED
46
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,607
{\an8}THE MANE-IAC.
47
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,076
IT'S THE STORY OF
AN ORPHANED WRESTLER
48
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,779
WHOSE PARENTS DIED WHEN THEIR
HAIR SALON BURNED DOWN.
49
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,216
TO HONOR THEIR MEMORY,
NEVER DID HE CUT HIS HAIR.
50
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:58,586
HENCE, "THE MANE-IAC".
51
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,521
HOLD THAT, KEVIN.
NOW LISTEN.
52
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:01,689
OKAY, LET ME SHOW YOU
THE CLOTHESLINE.
53
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,691
FITZY, COME HERE.
54
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,025
HERE'S HOW A REAL PROFESSIONAL
DOES THIS, RIGHT.
55
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,194
YOU TAKE YOUR FOREARM, JOE,
56
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,196
AND YOU PLANT IT
57
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,897
RIGHT INTO FITZY'S WINDPIPE,
LIKE THAT, OKAY.
58
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,865
UH, HEY, DAVID.
59
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,701
YEAH, WHAT?
I'M JUST SHOWING THESE BOYS
60
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,002
HOW A PROFESSIONALLY
TRAINED WRESTLER
61
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,237
WOULD THROW A CLOTHESLINE.
62
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,206
ON POOR LITTLE FITZY?
63
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,073
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
CARLOS, COME HERE.
64
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,375
MOVE OVER.
65
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,035
GUYS, THIS IS BULK,
MY FRIEND.
66
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,703
THE GUY WHO TRAINED ME
TO BE THE MANE-IAC.
67
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,139
WOW, I LOVE WATCHING YOU
ON TV, MR. BULK.
68
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:53,641
CAN YOU STILL MAKE
YOUR PECS DANCE?
69
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,809
WOULD YOU LIKE THEM
TO TANGO?
70
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,779
OR CHA-CHA?
71
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,981
NOW, LISTEN UP.
BULK HERE IS GOING TO SHOW YOU
72
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:04,518
THAT THESE WRESTLING MOVES
ARE JUST FOR US PROFESSIONALS.
73
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,586
OKAY, YOU READY?
74
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,355
YEAH, LET'S DO THIS.
75
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,457
ALL RIGHT, HERE.
CHECK THIS OUT GUYS. HERE WE GO.
76
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,059
WHOA.
77
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,794
WHOA, DAD!
THAT WAS AWESOME.
78
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,263
YOU THINK THAT WAS AWESOME,
WATCH THIS, JOE.
79
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:25,138
WOW, MR. HOBBS, YOU'RE
BARELY BREAKING A SWEAT.
80
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,040
YEAH, TRAINED MYSELF NOT
TO SWEAT, FITZY.
81
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:28,376
IT AFFECTS THE HAIRLINE.
82
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,412
DAD, LOOK OUT.
83
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,281
OH!
84
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,350
GRR!
85
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,585
RARGH!
86
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,096
HELLO?
87
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,431
HEY, POOKIE BEAR.
88
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,037
SORRY, DAVID.
GOTTA GO PICK UP THE WIFE.
89
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,607
NO, NO. YOU HANG UP FIRST.
90
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:00,941
ALL RIGHT, THANKS, BULK.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
91
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,443
SEE, GUYS, THAT'S ONLY THAT
92
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,144
BECAUSE I'M
A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL
93
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,980
THAT I CAN KICK BUTT
AND DO THIS.
94
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:10,651
OH, LET ME GET 'EM STARTED
FOR YOU, DAVID. ALL RIGHT.
95
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,155
YOU HEAR THAT, FELLAS?
96
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,391
AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DOOFUS
OVER HERE
97
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,860
THINK'S HE'S A REAL WRESTLER.
98
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,596
GUYS, IT'S DR. MAYHEM.
99
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,198
all: BOO!
100
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,668
- YOU LITTLE!
- AAH!
101
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,038
I WAS JUST SHOWING THESE
YOUNG BOYS HERE
102
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,806
A COUPLE OF MOVES I LEARNED
103
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,543
ON A WRESTLING MOVIE I DID
CALLED {\an8}THE MANE-IAC.
104
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:38,979
YEAH, MY MOTHER
MADE ME WATCH IT.
105
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:42,816
I THOUGHT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN
CALLED "THE LAME-IAC."
106
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,554
I WASN'T TRYING
TO BE FUNNY.
107
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,489
OH, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE
TRYING TO DO HERE.
108
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:49,957
YOU'RE TRYING TO PUT ON A SHOW
FOR THE KIDS.
109
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,625
EXCELLENT.
110
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,994
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GO TO COLLEGE,
DR. MAYHEM?
111
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,529
UC JERKELEY?
112
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:01,402
CUTE!
YEAH.
113
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:04,905
SO YOU THINK DOING ONE
STRAIGHT-TO-VIDEO MOVIE
114
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,507
MAKES YOU AN EXPERT?
115
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,241
SOMEONE LIKE YOU...
116
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,078
COULD BEAT SOMEONE LIKE ME?
117
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,080
WELL, I'LL THROW DOWN
WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
118
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,449
I GOT A BETTER IDEA, HOLLYWOOD.
119
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:19,720
WHAT DO YOU SAY ME AND YOU,
ONE ON ONE, IN THE RING
120
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,389
ON SATURDAY NIGHT?
121
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:25,893
YOU KNOW, GIVE THE PEOPLE
A REAL SHOW.
122
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,695
I DO LOVE AN AUDIENCE.
OKAY, YOU'RE ON.
123
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,863
- YEAH. HA-HA. WHAT?
- YEAH. WHAT?
124
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,500
YEAH, WHAT?
125
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,037
OH!
126
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,410
THANKS FOR COMING DOWN,
MRS. HOBBS.
127
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:43,677
I THOUGHT MY LETTER
WOULD HAVE CORRECTED
128
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,479
THE DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR.
129
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,180
UNFORTUNATELY,
IT'S STILL HAPPENING.
130
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:48,616
OH, I SEE.
131
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,418
IT'S CHARLOTTE.
132
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,152
YOU KNOW I'M FRIENDS
WITH HER MOM,
133
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:53,487
SO YOU WANT ME
TO SAY SOMETHING.
134
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:54,688
IT'S NOT CHARLOTTE.
135
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,957
JOSHUA.
136
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,926
RUMOR HAS IT HIS MOM ENJOYS
137
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,528
THE OCCASIONAL MORNING
GRAPE JUICE,
138
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,329
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
139
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:03,931
IT'S JANIE.
140
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,866
JANIE WHO?
141
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,276
OH, NO, I DURDN'T.
142
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,481
OH, NO, SHE DURDN'T.
143
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:23,083
OH, INDEED SHE DURD.
144
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,320
KEVIN, I AM AN ARTIST.
145
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:31,124
IF I'M NOT 100% PREPARED,
I WILL NOT GET INTO THE RING.
146
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,961
I'M TEASING AS FAST AS I CAN, DAVID.
147
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,330
DAD, YOU FIGHTING MAYHEM
THIS SATURDAY
148
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:38,866
BLEW UP AT SCHOOL TODAY.
149
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,768
OH.
150
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,135
EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT
AT LUNCH.
151
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:44,237
EVEN DYLAN AT THE COOL TABLE.
152
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,006
YOU SAT AT THE COOL TABLE?
153
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:49,677
NO. WE SIT
WITH THE SCIENCE CLUB.
154
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,745
BUT WE ARE SUPER GOOD
AT READING LIPS.
155
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,981
AH, YEAH.
156
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,183
OH, AND CAN I HAVE
FITZY AND CARLOS OVER
157
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,951
TO WATCH THE PRESS CONFERENCE
TONIGHT?
158
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,787
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
YEAH, YEAH.
159
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,889
OH, AND ASK DYLAN
TO COME OVER TOO.
160
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:02,956
YOU GUYS COULD USE A COOL
FR--UH, ANOTHER FRIEND.
161
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,058
THANKS, DAD.
162
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,960
AND MAKE SURE YOU GET
ALL UP IN DR. MAYHEM'S GRILL.
163
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,829
YEAH. YEAH.
GET ALL UP IN HIS GRILL.
164
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,931
I GOT YOU COVERED,
I GOT YOU COVERED.
165
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:11,899
MAN, I'VE WRITTEN ALL
THE TRASH TALK YOU WILL NEED.
166
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,734
COOL.
167
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,736
YEAH, EVEN SOME
"YOUR MAMA" JOKES.
168
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,571
OH, REALLY? NICE.
LIKE "YOUR MAMA'S SO BIG,
169
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,406
WHEN SHE WALKS INTO
A GROCERY STORE,
170
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,509
ALL THE FOOD GETS SCARED."
ALL RIGHT?
171
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,544
AND THEN YOU IMITATE
THE FOOD BEING SCARED, LIKE
172
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,315
MARCUS, YOU GOTTA LEAVE
THE ACTING TO ME, OKAY.
173
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,217
CAN I SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE?
- WHAT YOU GOT? WHAT YOU GOT?
174
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:34,254
OKAY. I GIVE YOU...
FRIGHTENED RADISH.
175
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:34,855
READY?
- GO AHEAD.
176
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,093
ALL RIGHT, SIMPLE.
177
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,062
OKAY, I GOT
TO WRITE THAT DOWN.
178
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,330
WELL, I MET WITH
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN TODAY.
179
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,165
I WAS RIGHT, WASN'T I?
180
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,266
IT WAS THAT LITTLE
STINKER CHARLOTTE.
181
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,901
IT WAS JANIE.
182
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,970
- JANIE WHO?
- OUR JANIE!
183
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,105
SHE WAS DANCE BOMBING
THE TEACHER LIKE THIS.
184
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,542
- WHAT?
- YEAH.
185
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,443
DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
OUR JANIE.
186
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,711
I BET YOU SHE PICKED IT UP
FROM CHARLOTTE.
187
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:09,857
all: OH NO WE DURDN'T.
188
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,593
WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT.
JANIE GOT IT FROM ANOTHER KID.
189
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,427
OUR KID.
190
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,130
UNLESS...EMILY GOT IT
FROM CHARLOTTE.
191
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,569
WELCOME, WRESTLING FANS.
192
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,470
THIS SATURDAY NIGHT,
OUR IMPACT MAIN EVENT
193
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,673
WILL FEATURE
A HIGH VOLTAGE SURPRISE.
194
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,175
WRESTLING'S REIGNING BAD BOY,
DR. MAYHEM,
195
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,646
VERSUS TV'S DAVID HOBBS,
A.K.A THE MANE-IAC.
196
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,048
JOE, YOUR DAD
WRESTLING DR. MAYHEM
197
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,450
COULD BE THE COOLEST THING
IN THE HISTORY OF COOL THINGS.
198
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,152
THAT'S JUST HOW WE ROLL,
D-MAN.
199
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,855
THAT'S RIGHT.
200
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,058
DR. MAYHEM, ANYTHING YOU WANT
TO SAY TO THE CHALLENGER?
201
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,127
I THINK IT'S BEST
IF I WRITE IT DOWN.
202
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:50,964
OOH, HE CAN WRITE.
203
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,967
WHAT'S THIS?
204
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,036
IT'S A POWERFUL PRESCRIPTION
205
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:56,870
FOR PAIN!
206
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,815
HEY, MARCUS, WHY DID DAVID
AGREE TO DO THIS?
207
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,149
HE'S TRYING
TO IMPRESS HIS KID.
208
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:11,151
BY GETTING HIMSELF KILLED?
209
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,622
MAN DOESN'T DOESN'T JUST
ACT CRAZY, HE IS CRAZY.
210
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:18,225
MANE-IAC, DO YOU REALLY
THINK YOU CAN BEAT DR. MAYHEM?
211
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,227
LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY, DEREK,
212
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,162
WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH HIM,
THE GOOD DOCTOR'S
213
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,031
GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE HIMSELF
A FACE CAST.
214
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:27,868
AND BROTHER,
THAT'D BE AN IMPROVEMENT.
215
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,003
YOU CALLING ME UGLY NOW?
216
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,739
LET'S JUST SAY
AN APPLE A DAY
217
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,241
WILL KEEP YOUR UGLY MUG AWAY.
218
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,409
all: BURN!
219
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,114
KEEP RUNNING YOUR MOUTH, HOLLYWOOD.
220
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,450
AND I'M GOING TO PUT YOU
ON PERMANENT BED REST.
221
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,986
I'M TALKING
VEGETATIVE STATE!
222
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,662
SO WHEN YOU SAID MAYHEM
WAS CRAZY,
223
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,363
YOU MEAN LIKE
HE MIGHT NOT LIKE
224
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,165
A GOOD-NATURED
"YOUR MAMA" JOKE?
225
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,000
OH, NO, DO NOT
MENTION HIS MAMA.
226
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,702
MAYHEM WILL RIP OFF HIS--
227
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,371
HELLO?
228
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,707
HEY, POOKIE BEAR.
229
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,909
HOLD THIS.
230
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,679
COME THIS SATURDAY NIGHT,
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
231
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,547
THE MOTHER
OF ALL BEATDOWNS.
232
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:15,749
WELL,
SPEAKING OF MOTHERS...
233
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,885
AH, PLEASE DON'T.
234
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,287
YOUR MAMA'S SO BIG AND DUMB,
SHE ONLY OPENED HER E-MAIL
235
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,022
BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT
IT CONTAINED SPAM.
236
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,625
TALKING ABOUT MY MOTHER NOW?
237
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,761
YEAH, YOUR MAMA WOULD TRY
TO GET HERE.
238
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:28,729
BUT SHE'S SO BIG, I COULDN'T
GET HER THROUGH THE DOOR.
239
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,508
FRIGHTENED RADISH FACE.
240
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,116
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT--THAT
MAYHEM WAS ACTUALLY TRYING
241
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,284
TO TEAR MY HEAD OFF
WITH THAT CHAIR.
242
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,120
IT WASN'T SO MUCH HE WAS
TRYING TO TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF,
243
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,388
IT WAS MORE LIKE HE WAS,
AND I QUOTE,
244
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:58,125
"TRYING TO PUT YOU
IN A VEGETATIVE STATE!"
245
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,260
ARE YOU OKAY?
246
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,362
I WAS JUST WATCHING THE PRESS
CONFERENCE WITH THE BOYS
247
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,131
AND THE PART WITH THE CHAIR
LOOKED KIND OF REAL.
248
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,835
- 'CAUSE IT WAS REAL.
- REALLY?
249
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,403
DAD, YOU HAVE
TO COME CHECK THIS OUT.
250
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,740
WE TAPED THE PRESS CONFERENCE
IN SLO-MO.
251
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,742
THE CHAIR MISSES YOUR HEAD
BY THIS MUCH.
252
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,844
IT WAS SO AWESOME.
253
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,578
DAVID, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THIS WAS ALL FOR SHOW.
254
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,513
YOU'VE GOT TO
GET OUT OF THIS.
255
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:21,749
WHAT? NO, I DON'T.
SEE HOW EXCITED JOE IS?
256
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,784
I CAN'T LET HIM DOWN.
257
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,585
YEAH, BUT I'M SURE HE'D
RATHER SEE HIS FATHER
258
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,755
WHO WASN'T
"IN A VEGETATIVE STATE!"
259
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,392
ALL RIGHT.
260
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:33,861
I GUESS I'LL TELL HIM
I'M BACKING OUT.
261
00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,899
HEY, JOE, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
262
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:42,435
WOW, MR. HOBBS, NOW I KNOW
WHERE JOE GETS HIS COOL FROM.
263
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,037
DYLAN.
264
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,939
- YEAH.
- THIS IS DYLAN.
265
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,808
HEY, HONEY, JOE'S NEW FRIEND
DYLAN IS HERE.
266
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,609
WOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE
SOMEONE'S GOING TO
267
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,578
FINALLY KICK MAYHEM'S BUTT.
- YEAH.
268
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:54,047
THAT'S RIGHT, GUYS.
IT'S GONNA BE MY DAD.
269
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:58,551
all: MANE-IAC!
MANE-IAC! MANE-IAC!
270
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,320
SO, WHAT'D YOU WANT
TO TELL ME, DAD?
271
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,322
- WELL, YEAH--
- I BET HE WANTS YOU
272
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,124
TO BE HIS CORNER MAN.
THAT WOULD BE EPIC.
273
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:06,994
all: MANE-IAC! MANE-IAC!
MANE-IAC!
274
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,862
OH, OKAY, YEAH, NO, ALL RIGHT,
OKAY, YEAH, YEAH, I GOT IT.
275
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,798
LISTEN, GUY--
276
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:14,601
WELL, THE TRUTH IS THIS.
I--
277
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,403
JOE, YOU'RE OFFICIALLY
MY CORNER MAN.
278
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,072
YEAH, COME ON!
279
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,910
all: MANE-IAC! MANE-IAC!
- OH, NO, HE DURDN'T.
280
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,883
OH, PAUSE IT RIGHT THERE.
PAUSE IT.
281
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,919
OKAY, THAT'S THE MOVE
THAT BULK TAUGHT ME.
282
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,354
THE ULTIMATE SLEEPER HOLD
CALLED THE DREAM WEAVE.
283
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:40,293
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO
LEARN WRESTLING FROM YOUR MOVIE.
284
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,230
IT'S MY ONLY SHOT, MARCUS.
I MEAN WITH THAT HOLD,
285
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,198
I WAS ABLE TO REGAIN
MY CHAMPIONSHIP BELT
286
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,100
AND REBUILD MY PARENT'S SALON.
287
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,271
HERE, PRACTICE ON ME.
288
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,406
- OH, ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
- YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
289
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,175
OKAY.
290
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,643
ALL RIGHT, THERE'S
THE WEAVE PART.
291
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:57,710
- YEAH.
- OKAY.
292
00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,512
OKAY, YEP.
293
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:03,383
- NOW HERE COMES THE DREAM.
- OKAY.
294
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,920
SHH. SHH.
295
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,521
IT'S WORK--KEVIN?
296
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,557
ARE YOU ASLEEP?
KEVIN?
297
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,960
NO, I JUST WANT
TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
298
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,161
COME ON!
DON'T DO THAT.
299
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,163
JUST, YOU KNOW, I--
300
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,697
NO, NO, NO.
SHE'S BEEN IMITATING ME.
301
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,766
LET ME TALK TO HER.
302
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,468
YOU HAVE ENOUGH ON YOUR PLATE
WITH YOUR OTHER CHILD.
303
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,903
OH, HONEY, JOE'S FINE.
304
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:24,872
I MEANT DAD.
305
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,710
JANIE.
306
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:33,480
MOM TOLD ME YOU'VE BEEN DOING
MY DANCE BOMB THING AT SCHOOL.
307
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,882
I KNOW YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY,
308
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,716
BUT YOU CAN'T DO IT ANY MORE.
309
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,452
WHY? EVERYONE LIKES IT
WHEN I DO IT.
310
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,653
AND YOU DO IT.
311
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,622
WELL, BUT I'M OLDER.
312
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,357
YOU CAN'T JUST ALWAYS DO
WHAT YOU SEE ME DO.
313
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,293
LIKE WHEN YOU
MAKE KISSY FACES
314
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,896
AND TAKE PICTURES OF YOURSELF
ON YOUR PHONE?
315
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,467
I ONLY DO IT
BECAUSE YOU'RE COOL.
316
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,670
AND I WANT TO BE
JUST LIKE YOU.
317
00:13:57,905 --> 00:14:02,042
AWW.
YOU WANT TO BE JUST LIKE ME?
318
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,376
SISTER SELFIE?
319
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:12,385
WHAT? SHE THINKS I'M COOL.
I LOST FOCUS AFTER THAT.
320
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:18,225
YOU ARE SO YOUR FATHER'S
DAUGHTER, EMILY.
321
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,393
JANIE, WHAT YOUR SISTER
WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU
322
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,931
IS YOU NEED TO STOP IMITATING
HER AND DISRUPTING CLASS.
323
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:28,068
BUT I'M GETTING LAUGHS, MOM.
BIG LAUGHS.
324
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,937
YOU'RE NOT IN SCHOOL
TO GET BIG LAUGHS.
325
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,438
YOU'RE THERE TO LEARN.
SO, KNOCK IT OFF.
326
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,306
WHY?
327
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:37,744
BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER,
AND I SAID SO.
328
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,047
OKAY.
SORRY, MOM.
329
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,086
MAYBE I SHOULD CALL
YOUR MOTHER
330
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,957
AND HAVE HER KNOCK SOME SENSE
INTO YOU, MANE-IAC.
331
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,491
WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S IT.
332
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,260
I KNOW HOW TO BEAT MAYHEM.
333
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:54,627
SHH. YOU'RE GOING
TO WAKE KEVIN.
334
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:02,102
I'M NOT ASLEEP
BUT I AM DREAMING.
335
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:02,835
OKAY, COME ON. COME ON, SON.
336
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,346
GUYS, CHECK IT OUT.
337
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:20,988
AND NOW, WRESTLING FANS,
IT'S TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT.
338
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:23,123
INTRODUCING THE CHALLENGER,
339
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:27,560
DAVID HOBBS AS THE MANE-IAC!
340
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,004
fans: MANE-IAC! MANE-IAC!
MANE-IAC!
341
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,840
SHAKE THE MANE!
342
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:42,909
ALL RIGHT, GET READY.
343
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,344
KEVIN, SCRUNCHIE.
344
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,188
DID BULK GET HERE YET?
345
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,389
'CAUSE IF HE DOESN'T SHOW UP
WITH MY SECRET WEAPON,
346
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,291
I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.
347
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,860
I WOULD TRY MY SECRET WEAPON,
GIVING UP.
348
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,695
DON'T WORRY.
BULK WILL BE HERE.
349
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:10,170
OH, NO. SOMEONE'S ABOUT
TO GET A BOO-BOO.
350
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,373
IS THERE A DOCTOR
IN THE HOUSE?
351
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:17,810
A DOCTOR OF MAYHEM!
352
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,385
GIVE HIM THE DEATH-ESCOPE!
353
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,320
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN?
354
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:32,359
OH, HELLO, MRS. HOBBS.
UH JANIE.
355
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,761
JUST BLOWING OFF A LITTLE STEAM
FOR THE WEEKEND.
356
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:39,432
OH, AND NOTHING PERSONAL,
SHOW NO MERCY!
357
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,206
HERE'S MY PATIENT.
358
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:50,610
OPEN UP AND SAY "OW."
359
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,545
COME ON!
360
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,215
DAD, I'M SO PROUD
TO BE IN YOUR CORNER.
361
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,283
GO GET HIM.
362
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,957
RARRGGHH!
363
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,562
man: WE LOVE YOU,
MANE-IAC!
364
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:12,265
THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT.
I APPRECIATE IT.
365
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,866
- HU-AHH!
- AAH!
366
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,408
WHOO!
367
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,677
HELP ME KEVIN.
HELP ME KEVIN. HELP ME KEVIN.
368
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,384
all: OOH!
369
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,821
I SAID, HELP ME, KEVIN.
370
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,026
all: OOH!
371
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,468
DAD!
DAD, GET UP.
372
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,270
HE'S GOING
TO JUMP OFF THE TOP ROPE.
373
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:54,141
I'M TRYING.
ARE MY LEGS MOVING?
374
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,575
ROLL, DAVID, ROLL.
375
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,581
- RARGH!
- UNH!
376
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,553
ARE YOU OKAY, DAVID?
377
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,421
RARGH!
378
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,357
IS BULK HERE YET?
379
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,195
WELL, THEN, CAN ONE OF
YOU GUYS DO SOMETHING, PLEASE?
380
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,029
OKAY,
I'LL TELL SOME JOKES.
381
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,698
OKAY, PEOPLE.
TIME FOR SOME COMEDY.
382
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:19,899
TWO WRESTLERS WALK INTO A BAR--
383
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:23,203
NO, THEY DON'T!
384
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:24,404
OKAY, NO JOKES.
THAT'S COOL.
385
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:38,951
NOW WE ALL KNOW WHAT A PATIENT
NEEDS BEFORE SURGERY, RIGHT?
386
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:41,321
TO BE SHAVED!
387
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:42,455
NO! NO!
388
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:55,034
AND I AIN'T TALKING
ABOUT THIS FAKE MANE OVER HERE.
389
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,206
I WANT THE REAL THING.
390
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,374
SHAVE HIM!
391
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:05,111
I WANT TO SEE
THAT HEAD SHINE.
392
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:08,215
AH-HA!
393
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,083
BENJAMIN ZACHARY FELDMAN,
394
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,353
PUT THOSE CLIPPERS DOWN
THIS INSTANT.
395
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,024
- MOM?
- BENJI...
396
00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:19,826
YOU WILL NOT TOUCH A HAIR
397
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,028
ON THAT SWEET
DAVID HOBB'S HEAD.
398
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,630
CLIPPERS DOWN NOW!
399
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:27,234
BUT WHY?
HE STARTED IT.
400
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,637
BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER
AND I SAID SO.
401
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:33,039
FINE.
402
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,909
DAD, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.
403
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:40,580
WHY COULDN'T YOU BE
A REAL DOCTOR LIKE YOUR BROTHER?
404
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,882
BUT I AM A REAL DOCTOR.
405
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,317
A DOCTOR OF PAIN.
406
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:45,518
OH.
407
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,329
DREAM WEAVE, DAD!
DREAM WEAVE!
408
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,998
NO, NO. REVERSE CARESS!
REVERSE CARESS!
409
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,277
UNNNHHH.
410
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:12,845
AH! YEAH!
411
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,782
THE WINNER BY KNOCKOUT,
412
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:19,352
THE MANE-IAC.
413
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,788
DAD, IT TOOK A LOT OF GUTS
FIGHTING THAT GUY.
414
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,190
NO, NO, SON.
THAT WAS STUPID.
415
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,359
WELL, WHY'D YOU DO IT?
416
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,362
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY SON.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LET YOU DOWN.
417
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:33,132
THE LESSON HERE IS YOU GOT
TO KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS.
418
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,235
SOMETIMES REAL BRAVERY
MEANS JUST WALKING AWAY.
419
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,371
HE'S WAKING UP!
420
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,473
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
RUN AWAY!
29804
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