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1
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:08,486
HERE YOU GO!
2
00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:12,751
STOP IT!
3
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:16,407
STOP THIS MAYHEM!
4
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:17,843
MR. HOBBS!
5
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,976
WOULD YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN THIS?
6
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:25,155
I'D BE HAPPY TO.
7
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:26,678
NOTHING SAYS
"FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL"
8
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,029
LIKE A SMILEY FACE PANCAKE.
9
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,161
DAD, I'M STARTING
SEVENTH GRADE.
10
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:34,817
I MAY BE A LITTLE OLD
FOR SMILEY PANCAKES.
11
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,253
SON, YOU KNOW
THAT EUPHORIC FEELING
12
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:37,298
YOU GET ON YOUR LAST DAY
OF SCHOOL?
13
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:38,516
YEAH.
14
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,649
WELL, AS A PARENT,
YOU GET THAT FEELING
15
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,999
ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.
16
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,784
THIS IS FOR ME.
17
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:47,917
GOOD MORNING.
18
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,266
JOE, I TEXTED YOU
A LIST OF DOS AND DON'TS
19
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,138
FOR YOUR FIRST DAY
AT THE SAME SCHOOL AS ME.
20
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:54,184
OH, THANKS.
21
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:57,883
"DON'T TELL ANYONE
YOU'RE MY BROTHER.
22
00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:03,411
DO TELL PEOPLE
I'M NOT YOUR SISTER."
23
00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:05,108
EMILY, HELP YOUR BROTHER OUT.
24
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:08,764
FINE. EXPECT AN EMAIL
FROM AN "IDA NOYA."
25
00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,592
OOH, I'M OPEN
TO MEETING NEW PEOPLE.
26
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:12,637
MM, SHE SOUNDS EXOTIC.
27
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:13,725
HELLO!
28
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:14,987
IT'LL BE FROM ME.
29
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,554
"I-DUN KNOW-YA."
30
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:20,167
SURE, YOU DO,
I'M YOUR BROTHER.
31
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:23,039
JUST READ IT, JOE!
32
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,867
CAN I HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?
33
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:25,868
I WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
34
00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:27,870
AS A KINDERGARTNER...
35
00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:30,264
JANIE HOBBS!
36
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:35,704
GOOD MORNING,
FELLOW SCHOOL GOERS.
37
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:38,402
HOW ABOUT
A FIRST-DAY-OF-SCHOOL PANCAKE?
38
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:40,622
THANKS, DADDY, BUT I CAN GET
MY OWN BREAKFAST.
39
00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:42,450
I'M A BIG GIRL NOW.
40
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:43,842
GOSH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
OUR LITTLE GIRL'S GOING
41
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,148
OFF TO SCHOOL.
42
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:46,932
ME NEITHER.
43
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:48,151
IT'S ALL HAPPENING SO QUICKLY,
I JUST--
44
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,152
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH MYSELF.
45
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,806
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO EITHER, HONEY.
46
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,634
YOU'RE PLAYING GOLF
WITH MARCUS.
47
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:55,202
I'M PLAYING SO MUCH GOLF.
JUST HOLD ME, PLEASE.
48
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:58,509
I-I GOT 36 HOLES TODAY.
49
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,143
HERE WE ARE.
50
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,883
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
51
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,711
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
52
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:28,583
WANT ME
TO SHOW YOU AROUND A LITTLE BIT?
53
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,324
IT'S OKAY, MR. HOBBS.
54
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,065
I GOT THIS.
55
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:36,504
OH. HELLO, CHARLOTTE.
56
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:38,419
CHARLOTTE'S GONNA SHOW ME
THE ROPES, DADDY.
57
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:39,507
OH, NO, SWEETHEART.
58
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,595
I DON'T WANT YOU NEAR THE ROPES.
59
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:41,857
THEY'RE VERY DANGEROUS.
60
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:44,903
UM, IT MEANS
I'M GONNA SHOW HER AROUND.
61
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,992
I KNEW THAT.
62
00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,385
JUST MAKING A JOKE.
63
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,779
DADDY, YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
64
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:53,782
I DON'T SEE IT.
65
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,697
WHY ARE YOU EVEN
IN KINDERGARTEN AGAIN
66
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,307
THIS YEAR, ANYWAY?
67
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,091
THEY TOLD MY PARENTS
I NEEDED TO WORK
68
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:03,835
ON MY "SOCIALIZATION SKILLS."
69
00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:07,796
NOT THAT IT'S ANY
OF YOUR BUSINESS.
70
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,537
COME ON, CHARLOTTE,
SHOW ME THE ROPES.
71
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,713
OH, CHAR, HONEY, WHAT HAVE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT THOSE ROPES?
72
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,715
THEY'RE DANGEROUS.
73
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,978
KNEW THEY WERE REAL.
74
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:18,023
MADE YOU DOUBT YOURSELF.
75
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:22,027
ALL RIGHT, ORANGE BLOSSOMS,
76
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,899
THE FIRST BELL MEANS
"HEAD IN THE DOOR
77
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:27,032
AND FIND YOUR SEAT
ON THE FLOOR."
78
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:29,252
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
79
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,908
COME ON, LET'S SIT TOGETHER.
80
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:34,649
OH, NO-NO, NO-NO, JANIE.
81
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:38,696
YOUR SEAT IS OVER THERE
BETWEEN JACK AND JORDAN.
82
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,524
I WANNA SIT
NEXT TO MY BEST FRIEND.
83
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:43,266
WELL, NOT ONLY ARE WE HERE
TO LEARN, JANIE,
84
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:46,791
WE'RE ALSO HERE
TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
85
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,445
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
86
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,795
I WANNA SIT HERE, DADDY.
87
00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:53,711
I'M AFRAID THE STUDENTS ARE
ASSIGNED SEATS ALPHABETICALLY.
88
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,800
J.
89
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:58,063
C.
90
00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,761
OH, YEAH, WELL,
91
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:05,157
LET'S SEE
IF I CAN FIX THIS, OKAY?
92
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:08,770
WHY DON'T WE, UM, WORK
A LITTLE MAGIC
93
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,208
WITH THIS MARKER HERE, AND...
94
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:13,601
WATCH THIS.
95
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:16,647
WOW.
96
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:22,392
SEE, NOW, UM, "CANIE" CAN SIT
WITH "CUH-HAR-LOTTE."
97
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,394
OH, "CUH-LEVER."
98
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:25,787
BUT NO.
99
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,311
OKAY, PARENTS.
100
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:31,401
THE SECOND BELL MEANS "TIME
TO SAY YOUR LAST GOOD-BYES
101
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:34,752
AND HEAD BACK OUTSIDE."
102
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:35,884
- DADDY!
- YEAH?
103
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:38,103
DON'T GO.
104
00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,844
YEAH, BUT DADDY HAS TO GO, SWEETHEART.
105
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:42,107
BUT IF I CAN'T SIT NEXT
TO "CUH-HAR-LOTTE,"
106
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:44,632
I WANNA GO WITH YOU.
107
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,507
YOU KNOW, MAYBE--MAYBE I CAN
STAY FOR A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?
108
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:54,511
AND I'M SURE MRS. ROTHSCHILD
IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN.
109
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,340
BE REASONABLE, WOMAN!
110
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,694
MY DAUGHTER NEEDS ME,
LOOK AT HER.
111
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,000
THE ONLY PARENT ALLOWED
IN THERE WITH THE TEACHER
112
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,262
IS THE ROOM MOM.
113
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,612
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE ROOM MOM?
114
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,267
UH, IT'S A LONG
AND INVOLVED PROCESS.
115
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,573
YEAH, FIRST
YOU HAVE TO BE NOMINATED
116
00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,531
THEN SECONDED, THEN VETTED,
117
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,446
LOT OF PAPERWORK,
BACKGROUND CHECKS,
118
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,013
AND FINALLY WE VOTE.
119
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,971
- I'LL DO IT.
- GOOD ENOUGH.
120
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:20,929
ALL IN FAVOR OF THIS GUY?
121
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:25,020
OKAY, GREAT.
122
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,329
WE'RE TOO SMALL.
123
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,810
AT OUR LAST SCHOOL,
WE WERE THE TALLEST KIDS.
124
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,508
NO, WE WEREN'T!
125
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:37,119
TALLEST IN THE SHORT GROUP.
126
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,121
HOW WILL WE SURVIVE?
127
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,082
OH, I JUST GOT A MESSAGE
FROM MY SISTER.
128
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:45,214
THIS SHOULD HELP.
129
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,434
OR MAKE IT MUCH WORSE.
130
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:50,741
EITHER WAY, WE STILL GET
TO LOOK AT YOUR SISTER.
131
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,313
OKAY, HERE ARE THE BASIC RULES
FOR NEW-SCHOOL SURVIVAL.
132
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:02,840
YOU GOT YOUR JOCKS, GEEKS,
133
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:05,887
ARTISTS, RAPPERS,
134
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:07,410
FINGER-GUNNERS,
135
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,151
FLIRTS, WANNABES,
136
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,371
MAYBES, WORKER BEES, BANDIES,
137
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:12,763
DRAMATISTS, DAPPERS,
138
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,896
HIGH-FIVERS, AND EURO-STYLERS.
139
00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:17,028
IF YOU ENCOUNTER
ANY ONE OF THESE,
140
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:20,292
ALWAYS ANSWER A QUESTION
WITH A QUESTION.
141
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:22,817
YOU BLEND AND YOU BEND.
142
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,428
AND YOU NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT.
143
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:26,777
LOVE YA!
144
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,257
I WAS NEVER HERE.
145
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:32,435
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS.
146
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:49,713
all:
YEAH.
147
00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:55,066
EYE CONTACT,
I MADE EYE CONTACT!
148
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:03,597
MAN, I CANNOT BELIEVE
HE STOOD ME UP!
149
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,860
YEAH, WELL, IMAGINE
HOW I FEEL.
150
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,689
SO YOU THINK HOW YOU FEEL
IS WORSE THAN HOW I FEEL?
151
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,865
UH, YEAH.
152
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,997
I THINK IT'S POSSIBLE THAT
THE DEPTH OF MY DISAPPOINTMENT
153
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,869
IS GREATER THAN YOURS.
154
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:18,655
LOOK, I WAS GONNA PLAY
36 HOLES OF GOLF WITH THE MAN!
155
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:23,007
AND WE WERE GONNA MAKE
FONDUE TOGETHER.
156
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,444
FONDUE? YOU'RE JUST
MAKIN' THAT UP.
157
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,010
- YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.
- NOT FONDUE.
158
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:28,752
WHAT--HEY.
159
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,493
GUYS, I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
160
00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:31,668
BUT GUESS WHAT?
161
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,801
YOU'RE LOOKING
AT THE NEW ROOM MOM!
162
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:36,456
HE GOT THE TEACHER
TO LET ME SIT WITH CHARLOTTE!
163
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:39,459
YEAH, THE OLD HOBBS CHARM
GOES A LONG WAY.
164
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:41,852
NOT AS FAR AS YOU THINK.
165
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,209
THESE ARE FOR YOU.
166
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,691
CONTACT LISTS, SCHOOL RULES,
167
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,911
FOOD ALLERGY SPREADSHEET,
EVERYTHING YOU'LL NEED.
168
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,129
NEED FOR WHAT?
169
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,392
YOU'RE THE NEW ROOM PARENT,
RIGHT?
170
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:01,524
YEAH.
171
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:03,744
I HAD THE JOB LAST YEAR.
172
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,963
THEY HAD A ROOM GRANDMOTHER?
173
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:10,098
I'M 32.
174
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:14,450
THIS IS WHAT THE JOB DID TO ME.
175
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:17,584
GOOD LUCK!
176
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,594
I'M BEING HUNTED.
177
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:30,379
I'M SURE YOU'RE
NOT BEING HUNTED.
178
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,902
I MADE EYE CONTACT, EMILY.
179
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:34,339
EYE CONTACT!
180
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,080
JOE, GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.
181
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,778
YOU'RE IMAGINING THINGS.
182
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,170
ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA GET BACK
TO CLASS.
183
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:43,174
EYES DOWN.
184
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,437
SHE'S RIGHT.
185
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,135
PROBABLY JUST IMAGINING THINGS.
186
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:54,316
YOU AND ME NEED TO HAVE
A LITTLE FACE TIME OF OUR OWN.
187
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:57,014
HEY, LOOK, THE JANITOR!
188
00:08:57,145 --> 00:09:00,496
YOU CAN RUN,
BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!
189
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:03,760
ACTUALLY, YOU CAN HIDE
BUT YOU CAN'T RUN
190
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,981
'CAUSE THERE IS NO RUNNING
IN THE HALLWAYS!
191
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,639
YES, MRS. KOGEN,
192
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,076
I'M AWARE THAT YOUR SON CHARLIE
HAS A PEANUT ALLERGY.
193
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,687
YES, I'M--
I'M WRITING IT DOWN NOW.
194
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,950
"PEANUT ALLERGY,"
RIGHT, I GOT IT.
195
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:22,387
I'M GONNA SEND A GROUP EMAIL
SO EVERYBODY'S HAPPY
196
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:24,259
AND EVERYBODY...IS HAPPY, OKAY?
197
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,609
HERE WE GO.
198
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,132
YOU'VE GOT SENT MAIL.
199
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:29,438
ALL RIGHT?
200
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,092
THANK YOU--YOU--
ALL RIGHT,
201
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,181
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,
GOOD-BYE.
202
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:36,793
PLEASE, EVERYBODY,
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
203
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:37,881
SO?
204
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:39,535
HOW WAS THE BIG DAY?
205
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:42,146
IT WAS GOOD,
IT WAS VERY GOOD.
206
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:43,365
OH, NO, DAVID.
207
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,367
YOU DID NOT ASK
TO BE ROOM MOM, DID YOU?
208
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:48,152
NO, HONEY, I WAS ELECTED.
209
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,981
OH, SWEETIE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR.
210
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:52,592
HAD KEVIN DO SOME RESEARCH
ON WHAT IT TAKES
211
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:53,941
TO BE AN EFFECTIVE ROOM MOM.
212
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,247
AND WE CAME UP WITH THREE
VERY IMPORTANT THINGS.
213
00:09:56,378 --> 00:10:00,164
TIME, SENSITIVITY, AND TACT.
214
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:03,994
AND HOW MANY OF THOSE
INGREDIENTS DO YOU HAVE?
215
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,214
TWO?
216
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:08,172
ZERO,
HONEY.
217
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:11,132
THE ANSWER IS ZERO.
218
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,047
ALL RIGHT, DON'T PANIC,
219
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,309
BUT YOU'RE RUNNING
A BAKE SALE MEETING
220
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:15,397
TOMORROW MORNING.
221
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,181
NO! NO, NO-NO, NO!
222
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:18,835
I CAN'T DO THAT!
223
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:19,706
I HAVE GOLFING
WITH MARCUS TOMORROW!
224
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,055
WE'RE PLAYING 36 HOLES!
225
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,665
I CAN'T DO A BAKE SALE!
226
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:23,753
CALM DOWN, AMY.
227
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,929
TAKE IT EASY.
228
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,061
ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
229
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,323
I KNOW
HOW I'M GONNA HANDLE THIS.
230
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,499
GONNA HANDLE IT
JUST LIKE I HANDLED MY SHOW.
231
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,980
I'M GONNA TELL EVERYBODY EXACTLY
WHAT TO DO,
232
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,635
THEN EXIT STAGE LEFT
TO A STANDING OVATION.
233
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:39,203
WATCH.
234
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,249
DADDY, CAN CHARLOTTE STAY
FOR DINNER?
235
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,424
NO.
236
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,556
GOOD, I DIDN'T WANT TO.
237
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:47,908
FINE, THEN YOU'RE STAYING.
238
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:54,218
GUYS, I PROMISE YOU,
THIS WILL TAKE FIVE MINUTES.
239
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,785
YES, WE CAN PLAY SOME GOLF.
240
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,353
FOLLOWED
BY FONDUE AFTER, RIGHT?
241
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:01,922
YES, AND...WHAT?
242
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:03,750
THOUGHT YOU WAS MAKING
THAT UP.
243
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,838
- NO, I WASN'T, I TOLD HIM.
- FINE.
244
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,056
HE WAS ASLEEP
WHEN I TOLD HIM...
245
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,144
- FINE.
- BUT HE KNOWS.
246
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:10,582
- FINE.
- HE KNOWS SUBLIMINALLY.
247
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:15,022
OKAY, WHO'S READY FOR
AN AWESOME BAKE SALE MEETING?
248
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,415
RIGHT?
249
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,722
NOW PLEASE ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE--
250
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,985
YOU KNOW HIM
AS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD--
251
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:25,293
BUT NOW HE'S YOUR BRAND-NEW
KINDERGARTEN ROOM MOM,
252
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,077
MR. DAVID HOBBS!
253
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,995
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, KEVIN.
254
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,388
WELL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
255
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,390
I'LL MAKE THIS SHORTCAKE
AND SWEET.
256
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,785
THANK YOU, OKAY.
257
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,830
AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE
SOME ASSIGNMENT SHEETS
258
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,049
FOR EVERYBODY.
259
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,180
JUST PASS THOSE AROUND
IF YOU WOULD.
260
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,312
AND YOU'LL SEE ON THESE SHEETS
261
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,097
THAT YOU ALL NOW
HAVE A BAKING BUDDY.
262
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:48,098
all:
OH.
263
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,839
MEETING ADJOURNED.
264
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,362
AND I'M TAKING THESE SWEET BUNS
OUT THE DOOR.
265
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,538
UH--UH, HOLD ON.
266
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,149
I CAN'T WORK WITH GWEN.
267
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,933
THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T WORK WITH ANYBODY.
268
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,630
HEIDI.
269
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,024
HEY, I'VE HAD
YOUR LEMON SCONES, LADY.
270
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:04,680
AND, TRUST ME, THEY'RE
MORE LIKE STONES.
271
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,900
SPEAKING OF STONES,
272
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,685
I BROKE A TOOTH EATING ONE
OF YOUR BROWNIES. YEAH.
273
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,469
OH, GREAT, FINE.
274
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,514
I WON'T MAKE BROWNIES.
275
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,211
I WON'T MAKE ANYTHING.
276
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:18,128
- PROMISE?
- PIPE DOWN, PHIL.
277
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,348
YOU'RE SO SMUG
JUST BECAUSE YOU DRIVE A HYBRID.
278
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,006
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY,
EVERYBODY! HEY!
279
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,225
JUST TAKE IT EASY, CALM DOWN.
280
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:30,140
INSIDE VOICES.
281
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,620
WHAT ARE WE, SIX?
282
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,318
"WHAT ARE WE, SIX?"
283
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:37,147
SHE'S MAKING FUN OF ME!
284
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,714
YOU'RE YUCKY!
285
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,021
YOUR FAMILY HAS LICE.
286
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:44,372
THAT'S YUCKY TIMES INFINITY.
287
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:46,678
OH, IT WAS DANDRUFF!
MY HOUSE HAS HARD WATER!
288
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,245
OH, OH, OH--
289
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,900
HEY, THERE'S A BOWL OF PEANUTS
ON THE TABLE!
290
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,170
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE,
ROOM MOM.
291
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,965
WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM, MARCUS.
292
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:14,794
HE'S ALREADY GONE, KEVIN,
LET HIM GO.
293
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:23,106
MR. HOBBS.
294
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:27,719
WORD'S OUT YOUR MEETING
DIDN'T GO SO VERY WELL.
295
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,330
YOU KNOW,
VICE-PRINCIPAL BLACKBURN,
296
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,506
I THOUGHT FOR SURE
THAT THE BAKING BUDDY IDEA
297
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,203
WAS A WINNER.
298
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:37,338
WELL, YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE
TO WATER, MR. HOBBS.
299
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:40,428
GO ON.
300
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:43,866
BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE IT DRINK?
301
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:47,174
WITH THE OTHER
KINDERGARTEN PARENTS.
302
00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:49,480
IT'S A METAPHOR?
303
00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:53,876
THEY HATE EACH OTHER?
304
00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:56,052
AS MUCH
AS I HATE TO ADMIT THIS,
305
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:58,794
I-I THINK I'M IN OVER MY HEAD,
306
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,796
SO I'M GONNA--
307
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:04,234
I'M GONNA TURN IN
MY ORANGE BLOSSOM LANYARD.
308
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,106
HO-HO, GOOD ONE.
309
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:08,499
YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST QUIT
BEING A ROOM PARENT?
310
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:09,805
YOU DON'T QUIT, HOBBS!
311
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,328
WE HAVE A BAKE SALE TO PUT ON!
312
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:15,115
DIAL IT BACK, MIRIAM.
313
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:18,161
- 'COURSE THERE IS ONE WAY OUT.
- YEAH?
314
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,468
YOU COULD FIND
YOUR OWN REPLACEMENT.
315
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:21,991
MY REPLACEMENT?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
316
00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,211
THESE PEOPLE
WON'T EVEN BAKE CUPCAKES!
317
00:14:24,341 --> 00:14:27,214
WELL, THEN I GUESS YOU BETTER
PUT YOUR LANYARD BACK ON.
318
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:38,225
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE,
ROOM MOM.
319
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:48,104
JUST PLAY IT COOL, ELLIOT.
320
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,585
HE'S COMING THIS WAY.
321
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:53,283
REMEMBER, EMILY SAID ANSWER
QUESTIONS WITH QUESTIONS.
322
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:56,678
HEY...NEWBIES.
323
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,072
WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND?
324
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:02,989
UH, WHERE'S {\an8}YOUR FRIEND?
325
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,689
OKAY.
326
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:09,473
YOU WIN THIS ROUND.
327
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:15,088
BUT THIS ISN'T OVER.
328
00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:16,132
IT WORKED!
329
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:20,658
LET'S TELL JOE.
330
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:21,703
I HEARD.
331
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:35,412
WORD ON THE PLAYGROUND
IS YOUR PIES ARE $25.
332
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:38,502
LITTLE PRICEY, AREN'T THEY?
333
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,852
IT MIGHT SEEM THAT WAY,
CHARLOTTE, BUT...
334
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:44,639
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MY SIGN YET.
335
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:47,033
WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW?
336
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:48,121
I DON'T KNOW.
337
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:49,383
I CAN'T READ.
338
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,820
IT SAYS, "BUY A PIE,
THROW A PIE."
339
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:56,651
OH, THIS HAS DISASTER
WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.
340
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,609
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY
341
00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:02,526
ANYONE'S GONNA SPEND 25 BUCKS--
342
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:05,268
BEST $25 I EVER SPENT.
343
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,140
WHOO! HA-HA!
344
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,098
OH, IT'S ON!
345
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:12,275
YEAH.
346
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,890
OKAY.
347
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:32,904
STOP IT!
348
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,516
STOP THIS MAYHEM!
349
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:36,604
MR. HOBBS!
350
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,693
WOULD YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN THIS?
351
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:44,307
I'D BE HAPPY TO.
352
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:46,179
MR. HOBBS.
353
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:50,444
YOU ARE THE WORST ROOM PARENT...
354
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,489
EVER!
355
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:55,884
GUILTY.
356
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:04,893
HELLO, JANITOR MOSEY.
357
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:09,680
WHAT DID YOU DO
WITH THE JANITOR?
358
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,334
THANKS TO BUDGET CUTS,
359
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:12,857
THE JANITOR DOESN'T WORK
ON THURSDAYS,
360
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:17,993
SO I BORROWED HIS BROOM.
361
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,691
SO EMILY HOBBS
IS YOUR SISTER, HUH?
362
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,780
MY SISTER?
HA, GOOD ONE.
363
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:24,347
NO WAY I'M RELATED TO HER.
364
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,219
LEAVE MY BROTHER ALONE.
365
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,743
I SWEAR, I DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS MY SISTER.
366
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,310
IT'S OKAY, JOE.
367
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,834
YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL
PICKING ON A NEW KID?
368
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,009
SCARING HIM
INTO SNEAKING AROUND THE HALLS
369
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,532
AND HIDING IN HIS LOCKER?
370
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:36,533
WHAT, YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?
371
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:38,753
EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT THAT.
372
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,885
YOU GOT THIS ALL WRONG.
373
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,757
I-I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO HIM.
374
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,063
YOU JUST WANTED TO TALK?
375
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,412
YOU'RE PATHETIC!
376
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:46,935
THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH,
377
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,242
PICKING ON AN INNOCENT, WEAK,
DEFENSELESS--
378
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:50,547
NOT TO MENTION CLUELESS--
379
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:51,635
EMILY, HE GETS IT.
380
00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:54,029
WELL, NOW YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO DEAL
381
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,422
WITH JOE HOBBS' BIG SISTER.
382
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,381
AND WHEN I'M DONE
TEARING YOU APART, GREGGY-BOY,
383
00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:00,949
YOU'RE GONNA WANNA HIDE YOURSELF
IN A LOCKER!
384
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,429
SO IF YOU WANNA TALK...
385
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:03,430
TALK TO ME INSTEAD!
386
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,215
OR DO YOU NOT HAVE
THE BISCUITS?
387
00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:07,782
OKAY.
388
00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:11,264
UM, I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO HIM
ABOUT YOU.
389
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:14,484
I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU
FOR TWO YEARS NOW.
390
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,007
WHEN I HEARD YOU HAD
A BROTHER IN THE SCHOOL,
391
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,227
I FIGURED HE'D BE MY WAY IN.
392
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,837
REALLY?
393
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,796
YOU'VE HAD A CRUSH ON ME?
394
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:23,102
NO, NOT ANYMORE.
395
00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:25,930
YOU ARE
SERIOUSLY SCARY.
396
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:27,106
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
397
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:29,456
SOMEBODY BARFED
IN THE CAFETERIA.
398
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:34,591
I HAD TO BORROW THIS UNIFORM
ON FISH TACO DAY!
399
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,115
WOW.
400
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,726
THAT TOOK AN UNEXPECTED TURN.
401
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,075
THANKS FOR HAVING MY BACK, EMILY.
402
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,556
YOU'RE WELCOME.
403
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,385
BUT, REMEMBER,
IT'S IDA.
404
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:48,214
SORRY, STRANGE PERSON
I HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE.
405
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,706
I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY
TO GET A COUPLE OF THINGS
406
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:07,537
TO TAKE BACK TO THE SET, BUT--
WOW!
407
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,322
WHAT HAPPENED?
408
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:12,368
WELL, UH, FOR STARTERS,
I GOT FIRED.
409
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:15,458
SEEMS YOUR HUSBAND
HAS REALLY DONE IT.
410
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:18,157
WELL, IT'S OBVIOUS HE'S NOT,
UH, REALLY CUT OUT
411
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,332
FOR THIS SORT OF THING.
412
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:21,551
NO, I MEAN
HE'S REALLY DONE IT!
413
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,771
BROKEN THE RECORD
FOR THE MOST MONEY RAISED
414
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,294
BY A KICK-OFF BAKE SALE.
415
00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:26,643
SERIOUSLY?
416
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,732
YOUR PLAN WAS INGENIOUS!
417
00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:30,386
SERIOUSLY?
418
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:33,650
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE
NOT FIRED AFTER ALL.
419
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,174
SERIOUSLY?
420
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,219
BUT IT IS--
IT IS QUITE APPARENT
421
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:40,179
THAT YOU DON'T REALLY WANT
THIS POSITION.
422
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:43,965
SO IN APPRECIATION
OF YOUR, UH, SUCCESS,
423
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:46,620
I'M PREPARED TO RELEASE YOU.
424
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:47,925
OH!
425
00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:49,579
OH, YES! BLESS YOU.
426
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,015
THANK YOU!
427
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,887
OH, NO, THANK YOU.
428
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:55,977
COME ON, MIRIAM,
LET'S GO COUNT OUR CASH AGAIN.
429
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:58,240
DADDY, THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
430
00:19:58,371 --> 00:19:59,763
EVEN CHARLOTTE SAID
431
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:02,549
YOU'RE THE BEST ROOM PARENT
SHE'S EVER SEEN.
432
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:03,898
SHE DID?
433
00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:07,031
DON'T GET CRAZY,
I'VE ONLY SEEN TWO.
434
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,558
I'M REALLY GLAD
THAT YOU'RE A ROOM PARENT.
435
00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,777
NOW I HAVE MY TWO BEST FRIENDS
IN CLASS WITH ME.
436
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:17,999
OH.
437
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:23,134
THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.
438
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:27,791
WELL, I GUESS I CAN
GIVE UP MY FREEDOM
439
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:30,185
A LITTLE WHILE LONGER
FOR THAT BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL.
440
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,795
MM.
441
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:34,624
SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED
FOR THE CARNIVAL NEXT MONTH?
442
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:37,018
WHAT?
443
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:38,846
CARNIVAL?
444
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:42,371
SERIOUSLY?
30005
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