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1
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:15,849
EMILY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
2
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,118
WHY DID MATTHEW
STOP BEING YOUR BOYFRIEND?
3
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,722
IS IT BECAUSE YOU
WON'T STOP EATING CHIPS?
4
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,363
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN IT.
5
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,699
HEY, GUYS.
IF YOU DON'T MIND,
6
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,467
WE'RE GONNA PUT MARCUS'S
TREADMILL DOWN IN THE BASEMENT.
7
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,236
YEAH.
8
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:37,037
MY WIFE IS TRYING
TO LOSE WEIGHT.
9
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,939
THEN SHOULDN'T
SHE BE USING THAT?
10
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,142
SHE WAS USING IT...
AS A CONVEYOR BELT
11
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:42,710
TO HELP THE FOOD
GET IN HER MOUTH FASTER.
12
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,417
OUR BABY HASN'T MOVED.
13
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,652
JUST ONE REALITY SHOW
AFTER ANOTHER.
14
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,821
EM, HON, HOW YOU DOING?
15
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:02,963
CHIPS ARE HER NEW BOYFRIEND.
16
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,133
SWEETIE, I KNOW YOU'RE HURTING
RIGHT NOW,
17
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:06,967
BUT IN TIME
YOU'LL GET OVER THIS.
18
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,202
MATTHEW PEARSON
WAS YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND.
19
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,003
AND THERE WILL BE MORE.
20
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,306
MANY, MANY, MANY,
MANY, MANY MORE.
21
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,408
YOU KNOW, THAT'S A FEW
TOO MANY "MANYS," OKAY?
22
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,178
LOOK, EMILY,
23
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:19,180
YOU CAN'T HOLD ON
TO NEGATIVITY
24
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:20,381
BECAUSE WHAT IT DOES
IS IT STARTS EATING YOUR--
25
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,416
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
26
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,784
IS THAT FATHEAD TED MCGINLEY
WITH A NEW TV SHOW?
27
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,353
I CAN'T STAND THAT FATHEAD.
28
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:29,590
IT'S {\an8}MCLIVIN'
{\an8}WITH THE MCGINLEYS.
29
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:33,627
MCHOSTED BY ME,
LARRY PARSONS.
30
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,230
EVERYONE AT THE SOAP
IS WATCHING THIS.
31
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:39,167
IT'S THE HIGHEST-RATED
REALITY SHOW ON TV.
32
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,169
IT'S ACTUALLY
PRETTY FUNNY, DAD.
33
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,204
REALLY? JOE, YOU KNOW
WHAT ELSE IS FUNNY?
34
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,706
BEING GROUNDED FOR SAYING
TED MCGINLEY'S FUNNY.
35
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:47,841
WATCH. TED KNOCKS
ON THE CELEBRITY'S DOOR,
36
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,677
AND THEN HE CHALLENGES THEM
TO SURVIVE LIVING WITH HIM
37
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:50,978
AND HIS FAMILY
FOR THREE WHOLE DAYS.
38
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,514
IT'S--IT'S A HOOT.
39
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:56,550
OR SO I'VE BEEN TOLD.
40
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,520
AND THE WHOLE TIME, THEY TRY
TO ANNOY YOU INTO GIVING UP.
41
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,456
HEY, EMILY, MAYBE THAT'S
WHAT YOU DID TO MATTHEW.
42
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:09,563
LAST WEEK, TONY DANZA'S FAMILY
DIDN'T LAST ONE DAY OF MCLIVIN'.
43
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:12,233
GUESS HE FOUND OUT
WHO THE BOSS REALLY WAS.
44
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,505
LET'S SEE WHO TED CHALLENGES
THIS WEEK.
45
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,207
IS THAT OUR HOUSE?
46
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,242
IT IS.
47
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,644
WE'RE GONNA BE ON THE SHOW.
48
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,113
DAD, ARE YOU GONNA ACCEPT
HIS CHALLENGE?
49
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,617
LOOK, WE ALL KNOW
HOW MUCH AMERICA WOULD LOVE
50
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,719
TO HAVE ME BACK
ON TELEVISION AGAIN,
51
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,721
BUT THERE'S NOTHING THAT
THAT FATHEAD COULD SAY TO ME
52
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,956
THAT WOULD MAKE ME
DO A REALITY SHOW.
53
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,725
HELLO, DAVID.
54
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,360
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
55
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,719
DAVID, AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE
TO BE ON A SHOW
56
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,322
THAT PEOPLE
ACTUALLY WATCH, UM...
57
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,158
WE REALLY NEED
TO THINK ABOUT EMILY.
58
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,330
HE'S CLUCKING AT ME
LIKE A CHICKEN.
59
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,499
AND IT'S A HORRIBLE CHICKEN.
60
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,167
COME ON, MCGINLEY.
ACTING 101.
61
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,370
HERE'S HOW YOU DO A CHICKEN.
READY? READY?
62
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,273
YEAH.
63
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,275
OH, REALLY?
TRY THIS.
64
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:33,113
FOLKS, IF THIS CLUCK-OFF
IS ANY INDICATION,
65
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,883
WE ARE CLEARLY
IN FOR A TREAT.
66
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,319
DAVID HOBBS AND TED MCGINLEY
HAVE ONE
67
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,588
OF THE FIERCEST RIVALRIES
IN HOLLYWOOD.
68
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,090
LET'S SEE WHERE IT ALL BEGAN.
69
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:46,827
A TIE BETWEEN DAVID HOBBS
FROM {\an8}SEE DAD RUN
70
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:49,162
AND TED MCGINLEY
FROM {\an8}TED PLUS TEN.
71
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,365
CONGRATULATIONS, TED.
72
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,367
AFTER YOU.
73
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,835
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
74
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:05,479
NO, BABY, YOU DON'T NEED
A PASSPORT TO GO TO HAWAII.
75
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,214
OH, SHORT CLIP.
76
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,650
THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP, GENO.
77
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,585
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S REVIEW THE RULES.
78
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,021
ALL I'M SAYING
IS OUR LITTLE GIRL'S
79
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,390
IN A DELICATE PLACE RIGHT NOW.
80
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:17,925
YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY,
THIS MIGHT BE THE PERFECT THING
81
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,427
TO GET HER OUT OF HER FUNK.
82
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,695
HEY, EMILY,
83
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:24,097
REMEMBER WHEN YOU BEAT XANDER
IN THE SCHOOL ELECTION?
84
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,066
REMEMBER THAT? HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE TO BEAT HIS ENTIRE FAMILY
85
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,201
ON NATIONAL TELEVISION?
86
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,705
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
87
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:37,010
HEAR THAT?
SHE'S IN.
88
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,412
ARE YOU SURE
ABOUT THIS, DAVID?
89
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,080
WHAT'S WRONG?
90
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,750
THE SOAP OPERA ACTRESS
DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY?
91
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,586
WELL, THIS IS PRIMETIME,
TINY LADY.
92
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,624
LET'S DO THIS.
93
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,192
HI, I'M JOE.
WE'RE BIG FANS.
94
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,199
THEY'RE A LOT CREEPIER
IN PERSON.
95
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:02,370
OKAY, HOBBS FAMILY,
96
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,838
IF YOU CAN SURVIVE THREE DAYS
WITHOUT HITTING
97
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,941
THE "I MCGIVE" BUTTON...
98
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,384
YOU WILL WIN $100,000
FOR THE CHARITY OF YOUR CHOICE.
99
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:19,119
SO LET THE MCLIVIN' BEGIN!
100
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,988
WE'VE GOT THIS THING
IN THE BAG.
101
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,056
MCGINLEY'S BEEN ANNOYING ME
FOR YEARS.
102
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,625
TRUST ME, THERE'S NOTHING
THAT HE COULD SAY
103
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:25,959
THAT COULD MAKE ME WANT
TO PRESS THAT--
104
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,095
EXCUSE ME.
UH, SORRY.
105
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:31,765
HEY, DAVID, COULD YOU TELL ME
WHERE YOUR FAVORITE BATHROOM IS?
106
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,501
TED, DO YOU MIND?
I'M DOING MY TESTIMONIAL.
107
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,135
YEAH, COME ON, UH...
108
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:39,940
HAVE TO DROP A MCDOODY.
109
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,110
THIS IS AWESOME.
110
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,813
DAVID'S OLD RECORDING STUDIO.
111
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,848
REMEMBER HIS ALBUM,
{\an8}INFERNO GIRL?
112
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,850
HA.
WHO COULD FORGET IT?
113
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:53,487
YOU KNOW, THAT BOY
COULD NOT SING A LICK. UCK.
114
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:56,424
IF YOU TELL HIM THAT,
I'M GONNA DENY IT.
115
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,692
THEN I'M GONNA KILL YOU,
AND I'M GONNA DENY THAT TOO.
116
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,894
HEY, I DIDN'T...
COME ON.
117
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,864
{\an8}GIRL, LET'S SKATE BACKWARDS,
{\an8}GIRL WAS A HUGE HIT.
118
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,067
♪ GIRL
119
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:10,137
♪ I WANT TO SKATE BACKWARDS
WITH YOU ♪
120
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:15,008
♪ GIRL
121
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,277
♪ LACE UP YOUR LOVE SKATES
122
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:20,514
♪ LET'S DO SOME FIGURE EIGHTS
123
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:25,453
♪ TAKE MY HAND,
I'M YOUR SLOW-SKATIN' MAN ♪
124
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,455
♪ GIRL
- * YEAH?
125
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,857
♪ I WANT TO SKATE BACKWARDS
WITH YOU ♪
126
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:33,727
♪ GIRL
- * YEAH?
127
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,031
UGH, IT'S STUCK!
128
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,233
SOMEBODY, HELP!
129
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,470
THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU.
THIS ROOM IS SOUNDPROOF.
130
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,071
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW?
131
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,808
WELL, WE COULD ALWAYS...
132
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,678
SKATE BACKWARDS, GIRL.
133
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:51,479
WHA-WHAT?
134
00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:01,922
WELL, FOLKS, THE MCGINLEYS
ARE REALLY BRINGING
135
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:06,694
THEIR "A" GAME, AND, BY "A,"
I MEAN "A-NNOYING."
136
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,196
LOOKING FOR THESE?
THEY'RE DELICIOUS.
137
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,898
AND THEY HAVE THESE REALLY...
138
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,605
GUESS HE'S ALL THAT
AND A BAG OF CHIPS.
139
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,173
THANK YOU, GENO.
140
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,676
COME ON.
REALLY?
141
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,979
YEAH, THIS IS WHAT SENT DANZA
RIGHT OVER THE EDGE.
142
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:29,850
OH, UH,
YOU LOOKING FOR THIS?
143
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,151
YEAH, ACTUALLY, I WAS.
144
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,186
OKAY, WELL, THERE IT IS.
145
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,289
MM-HMM.
146
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,390
THERE WE GO.
147
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,731
♪ WHO KNOWS HOW,
WHO KNOWS WHEN ♪
148
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,134
♪ BEFORE I EVEN KNEW IT,
IT WAS TED PLUS TEN ♪
149
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,737
THAT WAS TORTURE.
150
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,672
AND EVERYBODY KNOWS
{\an8}TED PLUS TEN
151
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:56,844
IS REALLY JUST A RIP-OFF OF
THE TELENOVELA {\an8}DIEGO PLUS DIEZ.
152
00:07:57,010 --> 00:08:02,349
EXCEPT DIEGO DIDN'T HAVE
A BIG, FAT {\an8}CABEZA.
153
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:05,218
PFFT!
154
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,620
YOU KNOW, IT'S NO FUN
TRYING TO ANNOY YOU
155
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,221
IF YOU DON'T SPEAK.
156
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,657
COME ON, EMILY.
157
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,560
GET IN THE GAME.
158
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,775
KIDS, BRING DOWN YOUR LAUNDRY!
159
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,911
IS IT REALLY
YOUR KIDS' LAUNDRY,
160
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:35,783
OR IS IT THE LAUNDRY OF YOUR
ILLEGITIMATE, LONG-LOST DAUGHTER
161
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,418
WHO'S MARRYING
YOUR ONE-LEGGED STEPFATHER?
162
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,124
MAKING FUN OF MY SOAP OPERA?
REALLY?
163
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:47,661
SO CHILDISH.
164
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,630
BUT SO DEAD-ON.
165
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:53,066
THAT'S OUR EXACT PLOTLINE
FOR NEXT WEEK.
166
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,239
AAH!
167
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,043
AAH!
168
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,148
WOULD YOU TWO STOP DOING THAT?
169
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,349
THEY'RE LIKE ALIENS.
170
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,619
OR ROBOTS.
171
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:16,824
WHATEVER THEY ARE,
THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
172
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,526
THEY'RE HERE,
AREN'T THEY?
173
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:23,296
AAH! ARGH.
174
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,967
JANIE, I'LL TELL YOU
A SECRET.
175
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:30,470
IF YOU ASK YOUR PARENTS
FOR A PUPPY 100 TIMES,
176
00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:33,140
THEY HAVE TO GET YOU ONE.
177
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,708
- REALLY?
- YUP.
178
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:37,945
IT'S THE LAW.
179
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,449
CAN I? 44.
180
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,985
CAN I? 45.
181
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,520
PLEASE. 46.
182
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,823
PLEASE.
47.
183
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,992
I PROMISE I'LL WALK HIM.
184
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:56,429
40...40...
185
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,065
I LOST COUNT.
186
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,668
I GET FOGGY AROUND THE 40s.
187
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:04,972
I'LL LET YOU START OVER.
188
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,174
DON'T YOU DO IT, KEVIN.
189
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,443
♪ GIRL
190
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,414
♪ I WANT TO SKATE BACKWARDS
WITH YOU, GIRL ♪
191
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,549
SKATE AWAY FROM THAT MIC, KEVIN.
192
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,252
SORRY, MARCUS, THERE'S NO
PUTTING OUT THIS INFERNO.
193
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,321
♪ LACE UP
YOUR LOVE SKATES ♪
194
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,857
♪ LET'S DO
SOME FIGURE EIGHTS ♪
195
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,759
♪ TAKE MY HAND
196
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,828
♪ I'M YOUR SLOW-SKATIN' MAN
197
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,629
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
198
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,631
KEVIN, I WILL SET FIRE
TO THIS ROOM.
199
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,534
THIS ROOM'S ALREADY ON FIRE.
200
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:37,838
♪ GIRL, SKATE BACKWARDS
WITH YOU, GIRL ♪
201
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,375
SORRY ABOUT THE TAKEOUT, GUYS.
202
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:46,146
I WAS GONNA COOK, BUT I COULDN'T
FIND THE POTS AND PANS.
203
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,480
THAT'S OKAY.
AT LEAST WE GET TO HAVE
204
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,749
A NICE, QUIET FAMILY DINNER.
205
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:55,155
JUST IGNORE THEM.
EAT YOUR FOOD AND IGNORE TM.
206
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,990
MAKE IT STOP.
207
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,493
I DON'T EVEN WANT
A PUPPY ANYMORE.
208
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:03,363
YES, I DO.
WHO AM I KIDDING?
209
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,733
DAVID, THIS IS UNBEARABLE.
210
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,001
COME ON, EMILY.
YOU CAN END THIS.
211
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,970
DO ONE INTERESTING THING.
212
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,605
PUSH THE BUTTON,
AND WE CAN ALL GO HOME.
213
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:18,478
FINE.
GO BACK TO BEING BORING.
214
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:23,016
NO WONDER MATTHEW DUMPED YOU
FOR JESSICA MINNOZZI.
215
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,253
OH, NO, HE MCDI'N'T.
216
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,889
JESSICA MINNOZZI?
217
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:30,758
I THOUGHT SHE KNEW
ABOUT JESSICA MINNOZZI.
218
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,160
JESSICA MINNOZZI?
219
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,662
SHE KNEW.
EVERYBODY KNEW.
220
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,365
JESSICA FREAKIN' MINNOZZI?
221
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,774
WELCOME BACK, AMERICA.
222
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,110
IF YOU'RE JUST JOINING US,
YOU DISAPPOINT ME.
223
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,579
ALL RIGHT, LET'S CHECK BACK IN
WITH THE HOBBS FAMILY,
224
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:55,382
WHERE EMILY IS FIRED UP.
225
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,451
OKAY, WE NEED TO BEAT
THE MCGINLEYS AT THEIR OWN GAME.
226
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,921
THEY THINK THEY CAN BE ANNOYING?
227
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,790
WELL, WE WROTE THE BOOK
ON ANNOYING.
228
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,792
LOSING TO THEM
IS NOT AN OPTION.
229
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,127
NOT NOW.
NOT EVER.
230
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:12,499
SO LET'S TAKE THAT FAMILY
OF FAT HEADS DOWN!
231
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:15,869
I'VE NEVER LOVED YOU MORE
THAN I DO RIGHT NOW, EMILY.
232
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:19,639
BUT, BABY, YOU DO NEED
TO SHOWER.
233
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:23,576
THAT I DO.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, FIRST, JOE,
234
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:25,545
YOU KNOW HOW YOU ACT
LIKE A TOTAL DORK
235
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:26,513
WHEN YOU HAVE A CRUSH
ON ONE OF MY FRIENDS?
236
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,681
NO.
237
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,683
DO THAT WITH THE TWINS.
238
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:32,719
OH, I SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING
WITH THIS.
239
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,721
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
JANIE, COME HERE.
240
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,523
HERE'S WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO--
I NEED YOU TO FIND
241
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,391
ANY MCGINLEY YOU CAN
AND ROPE THEM
242
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,592
INTO ONE OF YOUR
THREE-HOUR TEA PARTIES.
243
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,361
HOW'S THAT ANNOYING?
244
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:46,166
I'LL TAKE XANDER.
MOM, YOU'RE ON GIGI.
245
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,869
USE ALL YOUR IRRITATING MULTIPLE
PERSONALITIES FROM THE SOAP.
246
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:52,906
AH, {\an8}SI, SI, ROSARIO DESARIO'S
GONNA DRIVE GIGI LOCO,
247
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,976
SHE WILL.
AY-YI-YI-YI-YI.
248
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,845
WHAT ABOUT ME?
WHAT DO I DO?
249
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,213
TALK ABOUT YOUR SHOW
FOR THREE HOURS.
250
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,851
IS THIS
ABOUT THE TEA PARTY COMMENT?
251
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,953
HOW'S IT FEEL?
252
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,759
'SUP, LADIES?
253
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,027
I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS
MIGHT BE CREEPED OUT
254
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,030
BY YOUR DEAD-EYED STARE.
255
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,734
BUT I'M INTO IT.
256
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,904
COME ON. LET'S DANCE.
257
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,438
GET YOUR FREAK ON.
WHOO!
258
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,885
MR. MCGINLEY, WILL YOU PLAY
TEA PARTY WITH ME?
259
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,053
PLEASE?
260
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:50,630
ONE LUMP OR TWO,
TEDDY BOY?
261
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,799
OH, HEY, EMILY.
262
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,702
YOU GOT DRESSED. LISTEN,
263
00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,337
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT YEST--
- HEY.
264
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,907
IT'S ALL PART OF THE GAME.
265
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,942
IT WOULD BE LIKE IF I HAPPENED
TO MENTION
266
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:03,710
THE EMBARRASSING THING
THAT ASHLEY TOLD LINDSAY
267
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:04,811
WHO TOLD ME
YOU DID WITH JENNA.
268
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:05,913
WHAT THING?
269
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,114
THERE'S NO THING.
270
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,448
I MADE IT UP.
271
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,017
WAIT, HOLD ON.
272
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,651
WAS IT THE TIME WHEN I...
273
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:17,224
UH, WHEN I...
274
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,059
NO, IT WASN'T WHEN YOU LAUGHED
SO HARD YOU FARTED
275
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,661
IN JENNA'S CAR.
276
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:26,099
I OWN HIM.
277
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,301
OOH, I SEE YOU'RE HAVING LOX
WITH THAT BAGEL.
278
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,137
YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT REMINDS ME
OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE EPISODES,
279
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,206
"SEE DAD GET LOCKED OUT
AND LOCKED UP."
280
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,541
IN THAT EPISODE,
I GOT ARRESTED FOR TRYING
281
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,842
TO BREAK INTO MY OWN HOUSE.
282
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,679
IT WAS A CLASSIC.
283
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,151
DAVID, SITTING
IN HIS RECLINER,
284
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,352
HIS FEET UP,
THE FRONT DOOR OPENS,
285
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:46,453
IN WALKS HIS WIFE...
286
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:47,955
OH, HEY, TED.
287
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,756
SHAVING, HUH?
288
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,959
OH, YOU GOT ME,
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.
289
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,460
OH, OW!
290
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,996
OH, YOU NICKED YOURSELF.
291
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,365
YOU KNOW, THAT REMINDS ME
OF OUR CHRISTMAS EPISODE,
292
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:01,168
"SEE DAD SAVE CHRISTMAS
IN THE ST. NICK OF TIME."
293
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,470
IN THAT EPISODE, I DRESSED UP
LIKE SANTA CLAUS...
294
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:07,774
I KNEW HOBBS COULD DRONE ON
AND ON ABOUT {\an8}SEE DAD RUN,
295
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:09,809
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
296
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,878
THIS REMINDS ME OF
"SEE DAD TESTIFY," WHERE I LED
297
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,581
THE CHURCH GOSPEL CHOIR
AND HAD TO TESTIFY!
298
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,216
HOBBS, DO YOU MIND?
299
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,617
I'M IN THE MIDDLE
OF MY TESTIMONY HERE.
300
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:18,818
FADE IN.
301
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,587
WE SEE DAD RECLINING IN A PEW.
302
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,355
- ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT.
- FROM THERE HE GOES OUT--
303
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,124
I CAN'T LISTEN
TO THIS ANYMORE.
304
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,859
I'M GONNA HAVE TO CALL
A MCCHALLENGE.
305
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,795
WHAT'S A MCCHALLENGE?
306
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:31,464
CONGRATULATIONS, HOBBS.
307
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:36,869
YOU ARE THE FIRST FAMILY EVER
308
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,439
TO FORCE A MCCHALLENGE.
309
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,608
NIKKI, WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPLAIN
THE MCCHALLENGE?
310
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,916
THAT'S RIGHT, NIKKI.
311
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,752
FAMILY MEMBERS PARTICIPATE
IN HEAD-TO-HEAD COMPETITIONS.
312
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:55,088
THE FIRST FAMILY TO WIN
TWO OUT OF THREE CHALLENGES
313
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,024
WINS IT ALL.
314
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,659
SO THE CHICKEN
CALLED A MCCHALLENGE.
315
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,164
WHATEVER YOU DO, JANIE,
316
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,599
DON'T LOOK THEM IN THE EYE.
317
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,201
I CAN'T HELP IT.
318
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,372
all: GO! PULL!
319
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:14,441
COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON.
320
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,843
MCGINLEYS.
321
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,081
YAY!
322
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,882
WE LOST, JANIE.
323
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,584
NO, WE WON.
IT'S NOT MUD.
324
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,253
IT'S PUDDING.
325
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:29,556
WELL, THEN, MOVE OVER.
326
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,294
YOU'RE A MCGINLEY.
LET'S GO, XANDER. COME ON.
327
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:35,895
STOP LAUGHING.
328
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,930
JUST TELL ME WHAT SHE SAID.
329
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:43,503
FINE. BUT YOU DON'T WANT
ALL OF AMERICA TO HEAR.
330
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:44,437
WHOA!
331
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,976
HOBBS.
332
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,513
AND WE'RE TIED 1-1.
333
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,448
THE NEXT ROUND
WILL DECIDE THE WINNER.
334
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:59,486
YEAH, NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
335
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,822
WORTH A SHOT.
336
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,092
THEN THE MEN SHALL DECIDE
THE WINNER...
337
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,827
SUMO-STYLE.
338
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,834
both: * FROM PARIS TO L.A.
339
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,170
♪ FROM LONDON TO BOMBAY
340
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,139
♪ I'LL ROMANCE YOU
EVERY DAY ♪
341
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:21,474
♪ THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT TO SAY
342
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:25,912
♪ WHEN I ROCK YOUR WORLD,
OOH, GIRL ♪
343
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,880
♪ I'M GONNA ROCK YOUR WORLD
344
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,249
W-W-W-WAIT.
345
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,418
SOMETHING IS MISSING, MAN.
346
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,553
OH, LASER LIGHTS.
347
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,756
DO IT, GIRL.
348
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:39,126
OH!
349
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,194
AAH!
350
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,863
THIS IS FOR BITING MY CALF.
351
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,565
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
352
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,400
ALL RIGHT,
EVERYONE TAKE FIVE
353
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,169
TILL THE CREW
GETS THE POWER BACK ON.
354
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,137
NIKKI, LET'S CUDDLE
FOR WARMTH.
355
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,042
LOOK AT US, TED.
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
356
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,245
OH, I GET IT.
357
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,580
THIS IS THE PART
WHERE YOU TRY TO PSYCH ME OUT?
358
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,183
NO.
NO, REALLY, WHY--
359
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,585
WHY WOULD YOU EVER AGREE
TO DO A REALITY SHOW?
360
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:06,953
SAME REASON YOU DID.
361
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:09,922
WE BOTH LOVE THE SPOTLIGHT.
362
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,226
I MEAN, COME ON, DAVID.
363
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,695
YOU CAN'T TELL ME
THAT YOU'RE REALLY HAPPY
364
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,397
JUST BEING
A STAY-AT-HOME DAD.
365
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,035
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I'M TELLING YOU.
366
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,172
I MEAN, BEFORE YOU GUYS KNOCKED
ON MY DOOR,
367
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,440
I WAS PERFECTLY CONTENT
JUST BEING WITH MY FAMILY.
368
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:33,480
OH, YOU WERE--
YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS.
369
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,316
WELL, THEN, DO ME A FAVOR
AND THROW THE MATCH.
370
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,785
NO ONE HAS SURVIVED
MCLIVIN' WITH US,
371
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,920
AND I WANT TO KEEP IT
THAT WAY.
372
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:44,224
COME ON.
I NEED THIS SHOW.
373
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:48,195
BUT MY CHARITY
GETS THE MONEY.
374
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,797
DEAL.
375
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:56,636
AND WE'RE BACK.
376
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,206
RESUME-O SUMO.
377
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,212
YAAH!
378
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,085
AND THE HOBBS WIN!
379
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,021
YES! YES!
380
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:17,056
YES! YES! YES!
YES! YES! YES!
381
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:21,294
I MEANT WHAT I SAID
ABOUT MY FAMILY,
382
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:24,797
BUT I DECIDED
TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
383
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:29,369
'CAUSE, LET'S FACE IT,
I LIKE ME MOST OF ALL.
384
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,440
THINK I WOULD HAVE LEARNED
BY NOW--
385
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,275
DON'T MESS WITH A HOBBS.
386
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,877
NOW YOU'RE CATCHING ON.
387
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:42,749
HEY, THANKS FOR GETTING ME
OFF THE COUCH.
388
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,552
WELL, IF YOU ASK ME,
389
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,254
MATTHEW WAS CRAZY
TO BREAK UP WITH YOU.
390
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,858
I TOLD YOU DOING THIS SHOW
WAS A GOOD CALL.
391
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,860
- MM-HMM.
- EMILY'S BACK TO HER OLD SELF,
392
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,028
AND I HAVE
A VERY GOOD FEELING
393
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,298
THAT I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE TO
DEAL WITH THE MCGINLEYS AGAIN.
394
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,667
AW.
395
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,871
FINGERS CROSSED.
396
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:09,942
WELL, TED, GIGI,
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
397
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:12,312
XANDER.
WE'RE LEAVING.
398
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:17,216
OH, BY THE WAY, DAVID,
I HAD A COUPLE
399
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,386
OF THE CREW GUYS
CHANGE YOUR DOORBELL.
400
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,621
ENJOY.
401
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:24,824
♪ WHO KNOWS HOW,
WHO KNOWS WHEN ♪
402
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:27,860
♪ BEFORE I EVEN KNEW IT,
IT WAS TED PLUS TEN ♪
403
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:32,765
HEY, WHERE ARE THE TWINS?
28446
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