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1
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:10,575
IS THIS GREAT,
OR IS THIS GREAT?
2
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,577
MAN, I GOT TO SAY, DAVID.
3
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:15,319
HAVING YOUR TRAILER
FROM THE SHOW
4
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:18,714
TOWED TO YOUR BACKYARD--
SHEER GENIUS!
5
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:22,500
YES, IT WAS. THIS TRAILER
IS NOW MY OFFICIAL MAN CAVE.
6
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:24,241
WE CAN SMOKE CIGARS.
WE CAN WATCH FOOTBALL.
7
00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:26,765
NO WOMEN, NO CHILDREN,
NO PROBLEM.
8
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:30,856
AND NOT TO MENTION,
WE CAN WATCH {\an8}THE BACHELOR.
9
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,685
ROSE CEREMONY.
10
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:36,514
UP TOP, BROS!
11
00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:38,690
YOU KNOW, MARCUS, SINCE
I'VE BEEN WATCHING THE KIDS,
12
00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:41,084
I-I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I PLAYED GOLF, CAN YOU?
13
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:42,868
MM, I PLAYED YESTERDAY.
14
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,348
WHAT?
15
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:45,784
DAVID, YOU'RE NOT FREE
ANYMORE, MAN,
16
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:47,482
SO LATELY,
STU HAS BEEN OUR FOURTH.
17
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,440
- STU?
- AND FAIR WARNING, MAN--
18
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:52,269
HE WAS COMPLAINING THAT YOU
MISSED THE POKER GAME LAST WEEK.
19
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,185
THEY ARE THIS CLOSE TO GIVING
YOUR SEAT TO STU'S KID.
20
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,752
STU'S KID IS 12.
21
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,755
HIS MONEY'S
AS GOOD AS ANYONE'S.
22
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,452
WELL, COUNT ME IN
FOR THE NEXT POKER GAME, OKAY?
23
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,714
I'VE ALREADY TALKED TO AMY,
24
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,195
AND SHE'S GOOD
FOR WATCHING THE KIDS.
25
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:11,201
DAVID, I'M FEELING A
THREE-DEGREE SHIFT TO THE LEFT.
26
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,464
I THINK I'M GONNA MAKE
AN ADJUSTMENT.
27
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,466
I THINK YOU'RE GETTING
A LITTLE TOO COMFORTABLE
28
00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:16,989
AROUND US, KEVIN.
29
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,601
HE'S TALKING
ABOUT LEVELING THE TRAILER...
30
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:22,908
I HOPE.
31
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,432
- DAD?
- MAN-CAVE TIME, EMILY!
32
00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:26,086
MAN-CAVE TIME!
33
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:28,000
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
NO WOMEN OR CHILDREN ALLOWED.
34
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:30,525
ANYWAY,
CAN I BORROW $150?
35
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,004
"BORROW"?
36
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:33,528
OKAY, HAVE.
37
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:35,747
ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GOING
TO THE KATY PERRY CONCERT.
38
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:37,358
WHAT ABOUT
YOUR ALLOWANCE, EMILY?
39
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,273
DAD, I'M BEING RESPONSIBLE
40
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,666
BY SAVING MY MONEY
AND ASKING YOU FOR YOURS.
41
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,494
WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING HERE?
42
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,888
MAN-CAVE TIME!
43
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:48,456
GET OUT OF HERE.
44
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,935
I SWEAR, IF I GET INTERRUPTED
ONE MORE TIME,
45
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,154
I'M GONNA SCREAM.
46
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:56,116
THANK YOU, KEVIN!
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME.
47
00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:01,947
NOT A PROBLEM, DAVID,
BUT I TWEAKED MY BACK.
48
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:03,949
SO, IF YOU TWO
DON'T NEED ANYTHING,
49
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,995
I THINK I'M GONNA
PASS OUT.
50
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,825
- HMM.
- UH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
51
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,609
DON'T MOVE HIM.
DON'T MOVE HIM.
52
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,176
WHY, YOU THINK
IT'LL MAKE IT WORSE?
53
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:14,960
NO, WITH HIM
LAYING THERE,
54
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:18,616
I THINK THE TRAILER
IS FINALLY LEVEL.
55
00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:43,685
HERE YOU GO.
56
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:44,990
- DADDY?
- YEAH.
57
00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:46,427
I SEE CRUST
ON THIS TOAST.
58
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:49,038
CRUST ON THIS TOAST. OKAY.
59
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,214
HEY, LOOK, GUYS, I REALLY
NEED YOUR HELP TODAY, OKAY?
60
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,390
KEVIN'S ON THE COUCH
WITH A BAD BACK,
61
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,610
SO NOT ONLY DO I HAVE TO
TAKE CARE OF ALL OF GUYS,
62
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:58,569
I GOT NOBODY
TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
63
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:02,312
I SHOULD'VE HAD PANCAKES.
64
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:05,228
HEY, DAD,
IS KEVIN GONNA BE OKAY?
65
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:06,664
YEAH, HIS DOCTOR SAID
66
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,536
HE'S JUST GOT TO LIE
ON HIS BACK FOR 48 HOURS.
67
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,190
AW, POOR KEVIN.
68
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,323
YEAH, YEAH, POOR KEVIN.
CAN WE GET A PUPPY?
69
00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,761
WHAT?
I'M NOT A DOCTOR.
70
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:20,069
YEAH, A CUTE, FURRY PUPPY
MIGHT MAKE KEVIN FEEL BETTER.
71
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,505
ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY?
72
00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:23,115
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR
TRACK RECORD IS WITH ANIMALS?
73
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,987
YOU KNOW WE HAVE A PET CEMETERY
IN THE BACKYARD?
74
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:26,249
YOU KNOW BEFORE THE GARDENER
MOWS THE LAWN,
75
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:27,337
HE SAYS A HAIL MARY?
76
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:28,686
YOU KNOW WHEN DOGS
SEE YOU COMING,
77
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:31,341
THEY ACTUALLY
ROLL OVER AND PLAY DEAD?
78
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:34,431
REMEMBER PERRY THE PARAKEET?
OH!
79
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:39,175
ALL HE COULD SAY WAS, "HI, AMY.
HI, AMY. WHAT? HI, AMY."
80
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,046
I WAS THE ONLY ONE
WHO FED HIM.
81
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:43,310
YOU GUYS GET SO EXCITED
ABOUT THESE LITTLE CREATURES,
82
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,877
A COUPLE HOURS GO BY,
YOU GUYS GET BORED,
83
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,314
AND THEN YOU LEAVE IT
FOR US TO TAKE CARE OF.
84
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,316
YEAH,
AND EVENTUALLY BURY.
85
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:52,928
YOU KILL FIVE PETS, AND
THEY NEVER LET YOU FORGET IT.
86
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:57,019
OH, KEVIN.
87
00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:58,716
- MORNING, DAVID.
- HEY.
88
00:03:58,847 --> 00:03:59,935
I GOT YOUR COFFEE.
89
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:01,850
TELL ME YOU DIDN'T WALK
TO GET THIS.
90
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:05,245
WELL, I WALKED THERE,
BUT I CRAWLED BACK.
91
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:06,855
YOU KNOW,
FOR SUCH A NICE NEIGHBORHOOD,
92
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:10,119
THERE'S A SURPRISING AMOUNT OF
BROKEN GLASS ON THE SIDEWALKS.
93
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,425
COME ON,
LET'S HELP HIM TO THE COUCH.
94
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:12,252
YOUR DOCTOR SAYS
IF YOU DON'T LAY DOWN,
95
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,036
YOU CAN SCREW IT UP
EVEN WORSE.
96
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,125
OH, AND FYI, KEVIN,
YOU FORGOT MY SCONE.
97
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,649
OH!
98
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:22,087
SO, SWEETIE, DOES, UH--
DOES KEVIN HAVE A ROOMMATE
99
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:23,654
TO COME AND, UH, PICK HIM UP?
100
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,700
NO, I THINK
HE LIVES ALONE.
101
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,441
WELL, DO YOU HAVE
HIS PARENTS' CONTACT INFO?
102
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,051
- NO.
- WELL, DO YOU KNOW
103
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,096
IF HE HAS, LIKE,
A SIBLING OR A GIRLFRIEND?
104
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,577
NO, AND DOUBT IT.
105
00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:36,580
PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW
THE BOY'S LAST NAME.
106
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:37,886
OF COURSE I KNOW
THE BOY'S LAST NAME.
107
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,236
IT'S KEVIN...
108
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:43,283
JUST LIKE CHER OR MADONNA--
KEVIN.
109
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:48,679
LOOK, DON'T WORRY.
I WILL TAKE CARE OF KEVIN...
110
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,333
WHICH REMINDS ME,
CAN YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM
111
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:51,813
TOMORROW NIGHT
WHILE I PLAY POKER?
112
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,162
OH, NO. THAT'S SOMETHING
THAT WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT.
113
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,598
WHAT?
114
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,165
BECAUSE KAREN
CHANGED HER BABY SHOWER
115
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:56,861
TO TOMORROW NIGHT.
- NO!
116
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,210
- YEAH.
- COME ON!
117
00:04:58,341 --> 00:04:59,429
AMY, IF I MISS
ONE MORE POKER GAME,
118
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,909
I'M OUT OF THE GROUP!
119
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,519
WELL, IF I MISS
MY BOSS'S BABY SHOWER,
120
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:06,131
I COULD GET FIRED,
SO HMM.
121
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,046
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL HAVE THE POKER GAME HERE.
122
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:09,831
HOW ABOUT THAT?
- GREAT IDEA.
123
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,963
ALL RIGHT, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS
DROP THE KIDS OFF AT SCHOOL
124
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,314
AND THEN PICK UP SOME SNACKS
FOR THE POKER GAME
125
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,577
AND TAKE CARE OF KEVIN--
126
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,448
NO-BRAINER.
127
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:22,278
NO-BRAINER--THAT'S RIGHT
IN YOUR WHEELHOUSE, ISN'T IT?
128
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,594
I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DAY I HAD.
129
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,600
YOU HAVE MY PAIN PILLS?
- HUH?
130
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,863
YEAH, I GOT 'EM,
RIGHT HERE.
131
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,908
WANT TO HEAR WHAT I HAD
TO GO THROUGH TO GET THEM?
132
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,432
MAYBE AFTER YOU GIVE ME ONE?
133
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:47,651
SO I DROP THE KIDS
OFF AT SCHOOL, RIGHT?
134
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:50,654
I GO TO THE PHARMACY.
SURPRISE--IT'S FLU SHOT DAY.
135
00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:51,916
LINE OUT THE DOOR,
AND I'M LIKE,
136
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,309
"I'M NOT HANGING AROUND
FOR THIS SILLINESS,"
137
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,138
SO I GO GET A CUP OF COFFEE,
AND, OF COURSE,
138
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,314
THEY'RE OUT OF MY DRIP,
SO I GET DECAF.
139
00:05:58,445 --> 00:05:59,707
WHY BOTHER, RIGHT?
140
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:03,363
UH, I FEEL YOUR PAIN, DAVID.
NOW, ABOUT MINE...
141
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:07,192
YEAH, IT SAYS, UH,
"ONE CAPSULE EVERY THREE HOURS."
142
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:10,282
THREE HOURS, WHICH IS EXACTLY
HOW LONG I WAITED IN LINE,
143
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:11,806
AND YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT'S WORSE?
144
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:13,242
THIS?
145
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,071
OH, YEAH, OKAY.
WOULD YOU LIKE A PILL?
146
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,073
YEAH, ALL RIGHT, HANG ON.
147
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:21,250
HOLD THAT.
HERE WE GO.
148
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:30,651
WHAT THE HECK
WAS THAT?
149
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:33,305
I'M SORRY.
I HAVE TROUBLE SWALLOWING PILLS.
150
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:35,395
REALLY?
151
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:36,744
WHEN I WAS A KID,
152
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:39,486
MY MOM USED TO GRIND THEM UP
INTO MILKSHAKES FOR ME,
153
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,705
BUT I COULDN'T ASK YOU
TO DO THAT.
154
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,363
WHY NOT?
155
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:50,366
I WASTED THE WHOLE DAY
GETTING THESE STUPID PILLS.
156
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:53,413
AH, I GUESS
I'LL TAKE MY BATH LATER.
157
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:59,810
DAD, THE KATY PERRY CONCERT
IS ALMOST SOLD OUT.
158
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:00,942
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ANY MORE
ABOUT GIVING ME THE MONEY?
159
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:02,422
YES.
160
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:05,642
- YOU'RE GIVING ME THE MONEY?
- NO.
161
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,298
I HAVE A MUCH BETTER IDEA, EMILY.
162
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,952
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A JOB.
163
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:13,607
- HOW IS THAT BETTER?
- BETTER FOR ME.
164
00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:14,956
YOU'RE GONNA WORK
THE POKER GAME.
165
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,566
YOU'RE GONNA GO BUY ME
SOME SNACKS AND STUFF,
166
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,916
YOU'RE GONNA SET IT UP AND THEN
CLEAN UP AFTERWARD, OKAY?
167
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:21,266
OOH, IS THERE ANY WIGGLE ROOM
WITH THE "CLEAN UP AFTER" PART?
168
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:24,052
'CAUSE I'M GONNA BE SO TIRED
AFTER DOING ALL THAT OTHER WORK.
169
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,881
YEAH, I KNOW.
JOBS ARE FUNNY LIKE THAT.
170
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:31,799
- HEY. HI.
- HEY, DAD.
171
00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:33,409
THOUGHT ANY MORE
ABOUT GIVING US A PUPPY?
172
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,802
YES.
173
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,717
SO YOU'RE GIVING US ONE?
174
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,067
NO.
175
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:41,678
I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU GUYS A JOB.
176
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:42,897
HOW IS THAT BETTER?
177
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:44,464
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO--
178
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,727
YOU GUYS NEED TO PROVE
THAT YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH
179
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:47,945
TO HAVE ANOTHER PET, OKAY?
180
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,773
SO I WANT YOU TO WATCH KEVIN
FOR A FEW DAYS,
181
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,559
AND IF YOU CAN DO THAT SUCCESSFULLY,
182
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:53,995
THEN YOU CAN HAVE A PET.
183
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,170
- YOU'RE ON!
- ALL RIGHT.
184
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,086
- DEAL!
- EXCELLENT!
185
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,436
DAVID?
186
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,264
IS THAT PILL COMING?
187
00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:05,093
YES, IT'S COMING!
188
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:08,226
"MY BACK. MY BACK."
189
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,274
YOU'RE--YOU'RE PUTTING A PILL
IN A HOT DOG?
190
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,493
HE'S NOT GONNA FALL FOR THAT.
191
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,059
HOT DOG, KEVIN?
192
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:21,675
MMM. YUMMY.
193
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,198
OKAY, I'M GONNA GO
TO THE GARAGE
194
00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:25,113
AND GET THE POKER TABLETOP,
ALL RIGHT?
195
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,418
KEEP AN EYE ON KEVIN.
196
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:27,724
OH, DAVID,
CAN I HELP?
197
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,944
NO, NO, NO, NO!
STAY.
198
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:35,384
KEVIN, DADDY SAID STAY.
NOW SIT.
199
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,039
S-I-I-IT.
200
00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:42,826
GOOD JOB, BUDDY.
201
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,312
KEVIN,
DID YOU MAKE THIS MESS?
202
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,271
KEVIN?
203
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,187
SORRY.
204
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,233
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
205
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:01,366
OH, WE WERE PLAYING DRESS-UP,
AND THEN THE KIDS GOT BORED,
206
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,064
AND I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM SINCE.
207
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:05,675
JUST LIKE THEY DID
WITH GOLDIE THE GOLDFISH.
208
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:08,112
I HOPE WE DON'T HAVE
TO FLUSH YOU.
209
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,288
PLEASE DON'T.
210
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:11,638
DO YOU MIND
IF I WATCH SOME TV?
211
00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:13,727
- SURE.
- OKAY.
212
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:19,297
OH, {\an8}ANIMAL WHISPERER--
THIS GUY REALLY SPEAKS TO ME.
213
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:22,562
I LOVE THIS SHOW, BUT NO ONE
WILL EVER WATCH IT WITH ME.
214
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:23,867
OH, YOU EVER SEE THE ONE
215
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,565
WHERE THE SHIH-TZU
THOUGHT IT WAS A ROTTWEILER?
216
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,871
TALK ABOUT AN...
both: ATTITUDE!
217
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:32,876
OH. UGH.
218
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:36,837
- YOU OKAY?
- IT'S--IT'S JUST--IT'S JUST--
219
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:40,536
OHH! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
220
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,366
TWO PAIR.
221
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:45,062
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
222
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,847
DANG IT.
223
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,371
ALL I GOT IS A FULL HOUSE.
224
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:50,938
HELLO, MORE CHIPS?
225
00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:54,506
OH, SORRY, MR. PUTCH,
WE ARE OUT OF CHIPS.
226
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,160
WANT MORE CHIPS, STU?
DO YOU?
227
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:59,468
WIN A HAND.
228
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,600
IN THE MEANTIME,
WHY DON'T YOU
229
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:03,428
EAT THOSE CHIPS
OFF WALLY'S MAN BOOBS.
230
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,779
HAVE AT IT.
231
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,436
JANIE LET YOU
BORROW THAT?
232
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,742
OH, SHE'S RENTING IT TO ME.
233
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,310
I JUST GOT TO STAY CLOSE
TO A WALL SOCKET.
234
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,877
THIS WAY,
I CAN HELP YOU OUT.
235
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:19,314
LISTEN, KEVIN, THE DOCTOR SAID
YOU GOT TO REST YOUR BACK, SO...
236
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,359
GO REST YOUR BACK.
237
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:37,245
SORRY FOR THE WAIT. ENJOY.
238
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:40,204
THAT BETTER BE SALAMI
DISGUISED AS CELERY.
239
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:43,164
HA HA HA.
THAT'S FUNNY, MR. PUTCH.
240
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:47,342
WE HAVE CELERY, CARROTS,
AND ROASTED KALE.
241
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,518
WHAT IS THIS--
A POKER GAME OR A SPA RETREAT?
242
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,041
WHAT'S NEXT--WE'RE GONNA DO
SHOTS OF WHEATGRASS?
243
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:54,262
MAYBE WE CAN WAX WALLY'S BACK
WHILE WE'RE AT IT.
244
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:57,657
HAVE AT IT.
245
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,617
EMILY, WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE LIST I GAVE YOU--
246
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,793
THE ONE WITH REAL FOOD ON IT?
- YOU TOLD ME TO GET SNACKS.
247
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,577
THIS IS WHAT
MY FRIENDS AND I SNACK ON.
248
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,144
LISTEN TO ME,
THIS IS A POKER GAME.
249
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:10,060
HALF THE FUN FOR THESE GUYS
IS TO COME HERE AND EAT CRAP,
250
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:13,455
BECAUSE THEY'RE MIDDLE-AGED MEN
AND THEY'VE GIVEN UP LONG AGO.
251
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,022
CLEARLY.
252
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,588
DO ME A FAVOR--I WANT YOU
TO CALL MARIO'S ON 5TH.
253
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:17,938
I WANT YOU TO GET
SOME MEAT LOVER'S PIZZAS.
254
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:20,157
I WANT SOME EGGPLANT PARM,
SOME WINGS--
255
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,159
ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE
THE WORDS "HEART HEALTHY"
256
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,074
ON IT, OKAY?
257
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:27,512
TELL 'EM IT'S FOR MARCUS'S WIFE.
THEY'LL KNOW.
258
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:28,862
MMM!
259
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:32,996
I CAN FEEL MYSELF
LOSING WEIGHT AS WE SPEAK.
260
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:37,174
THAT'S YOUR WALLET
GETTING LIGHTER.
261
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:39,742
WHAT, DID I JUST
EAT A PIECE OF CHALK?
262
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,744
- IT'S CALLED JICAMA.
- MM.
263
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,094
MAYBE YOU COULD WHITTLE IT INTO
A KNIFE AND STAB ME WITH IT.
264
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,966
HMM.
THINKING ABOUT IT.
265
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:49,317
HI, MATTHEW.
266
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:50,840
OKAY, QUEEN BETS.
267
00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,537
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
268
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:53,887
SUCH A GOOD TIME
AT THE CONCERT.
269
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,105
EM?
270
00:11:57,978 --> 00:12:00,937
EM, THE DELIVERY GUY'S HERE.
271
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,732
EM?
272
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,037
I CALL.
273
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,169
- I'M IN.
- WHY NOT?
274
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:16,866
YOU KNOW, I'VE PLAYED
A LOT OF POKER
275
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,433
IN MY FAME-FILLED LIFE, GENTLEMEN,
276
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,565
BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN A HAND
LIKE THIS BEFORE.
277
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:22,089
READ 'EM AND WEEP.
278
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:24,221
WHOA!
279
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,795
WHAT?
IT'S BETTER THAN JICAMA.
280
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,453
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
281
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:40,498
AND YOU! HOW COULD YOU
LET THIS HAPPEN?
282
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,587
FOOD WAS YOUR ONE JOB.
283
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:45,155
IN MY DEFENSE,
I ASKED FOR MONEY, NOT A JOB.
284
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:48,898
AND YOU GUYS WERE SUPPOSED
TO WATCH KEVIN FOR ME.
285
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:52,162
IN OUR DEFENSE,
WE ASKED YOU FOR A PUPPY.
286
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,643
IT'S MY FAULT, DAVID.
287
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,210
- KEVIN--
- I'M SORRY, EMILY.
288
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,299
I WENT TO OPEN THE DOOR,
AND SHE TRIED TO HELP ME,
289
00:12:58,429 --> 00:12:59,561
BUT I WOULDN'T LET HER.
290
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,432
THIS IS ALL ON ME.
291
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:04,000
LOOK, KEVIN, I KNOW THAT
YOU WANT TO DO THINGS FOR ME.
292
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,916
I GET THAT.
EVERYBODY DOES. IT'S NATURAL,
293
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,962
BUT YOU'VE RUINED
MY POKER NIGHT,
294
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,877
AND THAT'S NOT GOOD, KEVIN.
295
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:13,705
THAT'S BAD.
IT'S BAD, KEVIN, BAD!
296
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,957
HEY, ANY WORD FROM KEVIN?
HE'S BEEN GONE ALL DAY.
297
00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:49,829
NO, BUT I FOUND
HIS WALLET.
298
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,919
DO YOU KNOW THAT
KEVIN'S LAST NAME IS "KOSTNER?"
299
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,837
KEVIN KOSTNER,
WITH A "K."
300
00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,491
AND YOU
COULDN'T REMEMBER THAT?
301
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,667
OH, EMILY.
EMILY, GOOD.
302
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:04,017
HERE, I WANT TO GIVE YOU, UM--
303
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,888
GIVE YOU SOME MONEY
FOR LAST NIGHT, OKAY?
304
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,368
- ARE YOU SURE?
- YEAH.
305
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:08,935
IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT
THE POKER GAME WAS RUINED.
306
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,501
KEVIN KOSTNER
HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.
307
00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,852
HE PRONOUNCES IT
"OSTNER," DAD.
308
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,375
THE "K" IS SILENT.
309
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:17,247
WELL, OF COURSE IT IS.
310
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,510
- I CAN'T KEEP THE MONEY.
- WHAT?
311
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,512
IT WAS MY FAULT
KEVIN RUINED YOUR GAME.
312
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,514
I WAS ON THE PHONE
WHEN THE DELIVERY CAME.
313
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,299
HE WAS JUST COVERING FOR ME.
314
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:27,301
REALLY?
OH.
315
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,433
WELL, THANK YOU
FOR YOUR HONESTY, EMILY.
316
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,262
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT--
317
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:34,090
IF IT WAS A REAL JOB,
YOU'D HAVE GOTTEN PAID.
318
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:36,397
YOU'D HAVE GOTTEN FIRED,
BUT YOU'D HAVE GOTTEN PAID.
319
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:39,748
SO, YOU KNOW, ENJOY THE CONCERT
WITH YOUR FRIENDS, OKAY?
320
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,272
OH, AND, UH,
TAKE THIS KALE WITH YOU.
321
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:44,666
AMAZINGLY,
ALL OF IT'S LEFT.
322
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:48,148
- THANKS, DADDY.
- ALL RIGHT, HAVE A GOOD TIME.
323
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,107
- HEY.
- WHERE'D YOU GUYS GO?
324
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,674
WE WERE PUTTING UP
"MISSING KEVIN" POSTERS
325
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,241
EVERYWHERE.
326
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,634
I HELPED DRAW THE PICTURE.
327
00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:58,985
LET'S SEE.
328
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,160
- OH!
- OH, THIS IS BEAUT--
329
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,205
SHE'S A LITTLE PICASSO!
- YEAH.
330
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,033
- OH, MY GOSH!
- GOOD JOB, GUYS.
331
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:07,123
OH, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP
FIND OUR KEVIN.
332
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,909
I JUST--
I-I KNEW I'D GET ATTACHED.
333
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:12,041
THIS IS PERRY THE PARAKEET
ALL OVER AGAIN.
334
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,564
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
- YEAH.
335
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,349
OKAY, TAKE IT EASY.
336
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,959
I'LL FIND HIM.
DON'T WORRY, GUYS.
337
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,482
I'LL BE BACK
IN A LITTLE BIT. HEY.
338
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,180
HEY, SO WHAT'S THE WORD
ON OUR BOY?
339
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:23,226
OH, NOTHING, AND, UH, NOBODY'S
HEARD ANYTHING FROM HIM.
340
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:25,315
DID YOU KNOW
THAT HIS LAST NAME IS KOSTNER?
341
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:29,276
MM, IT'S "OSTNER," DAVE.
THE "K" IS SILENT.
342
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:32,279
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
THE TRACKER ON HIS PHONE?
343
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:33,584
- HIS WHO NOW?
- OKAY...
344
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,804
THE TV SHOW PUT A TRACKER
IN HIS CELL PHONE
345
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,501
FOR PRODUCTION EMERGENCIES.
346
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,721
- WHAT KIND OF EMERGENCIES?
- OH, I DON'T KNOW.
347
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,375
OCCASIONALLY, WE HAD AN ACTOR
348
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:42,811
THAT WOULD THROW
A TEMPER TANTRUM
349
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,421
IF WE FORGOT HIS FRIES.
350
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,206
WHAT A DIVA.
351
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:47,990
THEY PROBABLY USED THE SAME
RESTAURANT THAT I USED TO USE.
352
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,384
THEY WOULD ALWAYS FORGET MY
FRIES, AND I WOULD GET SO MAD!
353
00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:53,517
COME ON.
354
00:15:58,348 --> 00:16:01,177
OH.
HEY, GUYS.
355
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:04,050
UH, JUST GIVE ME A SEC
TO STRAIGHTEN UP.
356
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,573
WAIT A MINUTE.
357
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,053
MAN, I DON'T CARE
IF YOU'RE SPRAYING FOR EBOLA.
358
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,968
WE ARE NOT STANDING
IN THAT HALLWAY.
359
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,187
OH, OKAY.
360
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,842
THIS IS PRETTY NICE.
361
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,104
WHAT AM I SAYING?
362
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,889
WHY IN THE HELL
DO YOU LIVE HERE?
363
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,849
IT'S NOT MUCH,
BUT IT'S HOME.
364
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:25,723
HEY! HEY! HEY!
HEY, GET AWAY FROM MY CAR! HEY!
365
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,073
LET ME
GO CHECK THIS OUT.
366
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,292
OH! STAY AWAY FROM ME,
PEOPLE!
367
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:35,516
CARE TO SIT?
368
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:41,130
THANK YOU.
369
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:48,268
SO, KEVIN, WHAT HAPPENED?
WHY DID YOU, UM...
370
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,096
WHY DID YOU DISAPPEAR
LIKE THAT?
371
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,707
BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED
TO TAKE CARE OF YOU,
372
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,839
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
373
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,625
IT'S BETTER THIS WAY,
WITH ME GONE.
374
00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,975
WELL, THAT'S WHAT
I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU,
375
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,064
THAT IT'S NOT BETTER.
376
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:06,199
I'M SORRY I RUINED
YOUR POKER GAME, DAVID.
377
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,288
I KNOW THAT YOU WERE
JUST COVERING FOR EMILY,
378
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,812
AND I APPRECIATE THAT,
379
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:14,729
BUT LOOK, I-I SHOULDN'T HAVE
YELLED AT YOU THE WAY I DID.
380
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:17,036
ALL I EVER WANTED
381
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:20,300
WAS TO MAKE YOU PROUD.
382
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,692
MM.
383
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:24,739
ARE WE GONNA DO
EMOTIONS NOW?
384
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:32,138
LOOK, KEVIN,
WHAT ABOUT YOUR OWN DAD?
385
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,835
MY FATHER?
386
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:36,098
HE BARELY EVEN NOTICED ME.
387
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,057
WHEN I WAS A KID,
HE WAS ALWAYS AWAY ON BUSINESS,
388
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:42,278
AND I'D BE LEFT ALONE,
WATCHING TV--
389
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,324
MOSTLY {\an8}SEE DAD RUN.
390
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:46,848
AND I'D SIT AND WATCH,
391
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:49,807
AND YOU'D ALWAYS BE THERE.
392
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,287
AND THE BEST THING IS,
393
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:55,465
NOW THAT THE SHOW'S OVER,
YOU'RE STILL THERE.
394
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:03,821
I'M JUST SO WILDLY
UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW.
395
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,867
SORRY.
396
00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:07,390
MY FATHER AND ME--
397
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:10,959
WE'VE NEVER
REALLY SEEN EYE TO EYE.
398
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,788
YET HE JUST
KEEPS TALKING.
399
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,834
I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES
I'VE HEARD, "JUST COME HOME.
400
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:19,315
JOIN THE FAMILY BUSINESS."
401
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,970
BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT.
402
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,711
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ON MY OWN.
403
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:26,714
I'M GONNA PRODUCE
GREAT TELEVISION, DAVID,
404
00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:30,370
LIKE {\an8}SEE DAD RUN, AND NOTHING'S
GONNA GET IN MY WAY.
405
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:35,723
OH.
THAT'S ACTUALLY--
406
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:39,248
THAT'S AMAZING
AND--AND QUITE COMMENDABLE.
407
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:42,730
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- YEAH, I DO.
408
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:43,992
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU, UH...
409
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,907
WHY DON'T YOU
COME BACK TO THE HOUSE?
410
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:49,084
BECAUSE I, UM...
I, UH...
411
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,912
YOU KNOW,
THE FAMILY MISSES YOU,
412
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,088
AND IF THEY WERE HERE RIGHT NOW,
THEY WOULD GIVE YOU A HUG,
413
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,611
BUT THEY'RE NOT,
SO LET'S GO.
414
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:05,013
HEY, DAVID, UH, I CAN'T THANK
YOU ENOUGH FOR PUTTING ME UP.
415
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,233
BACK'S FEELING GREAT,
BUT, UH...
416
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:08,843
I THINK IT'S TIME
I GOT OUT OF YOUR HAIR
417
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,061
AND WENT ON HOME.
418
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,454
OKAY.
419
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,369
HEY, DO ME A FAVOR
BEFORE YOU LEAVE, WILL YOU?
420
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,806
JUST GO GET ME A CIGAR
FROM MY MAN CAVE.
421
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,460
SURE THING.
422
00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:25,990
all:
SURPRISE!
423
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,905
WHAT'S GOING ON?
424
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:31,692
IT'S A HOUSEWARMING PARTY...
425
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:32,736
FOR YOU.
426
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,869
I DON'T GET IT.
427
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:36,914
WELL, I'M, UH...
428
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:41,310
I'M--I'M GIVING YOU
MY MAN CAVE TO LIVE IN.
429
00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:46,097
IT WAS A FAMILY DECISION,
AND WE WANT YOU TO LIVE HERE.
430
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,622
YAY!
WE DON'T NEED A PUPPY NOW!
431
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,189
WE'VE GOT A KEVIN.
432
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:54,758
WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT SCRATCH
YOU PUT ON MY RIDE LATER.
433
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,891
WELCOME HOME, KEVIN.
434
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:59,198
SO {\an8}ANIMAL WHISPERER MARATHON.
YEAH?
435
00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:02,984
I-I-I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
436
00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:07,031
- PLEASE DON'T CRY, KEVIN.
- OKAY.
437
00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:11,427
WHAT ARE YOU--I THOUGHT
YOU WERE AT YOUR CONCERT.
438
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:13,081
AND MISS
KEVIN'S HOUSEWARMING PARTY?
439
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:16,954
KEVIN, THANK YOU FOR COVERING
FOR ME AT THE POKER GAME.
440
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,782
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
441
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:20,480
NO PROBLEM.
442
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,960
YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER HAD
AN OLDER BROTHER
443
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:24,571
TO LOOK OUT FOR ME BEFORE...
444
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:25,833
TILL NOW.
445
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:31,142
OH, FOR THE LOVE--
GO AHEAD AND CRY.
446
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,454
MY MAN CAVE.
32357
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