All language subtitles for Fantastic.Mr.Fox.2009.DVDRip.XviD.AC3-ViSiON.cc

(THE BALLAD OF DAVY CROCKETT
PLAYING ON POCKET RADIO)

Born on a mountain top in Tennessee

Greenest state in the land of the free

Raised in the woods so he knew every tree

Killed him a bar when he was only three

Davy, Davy Crockett
king of the wild frontier!

Fought single-handed
through the Injun War

Till the Creeks was whipped
and peace was in store

And while he was handling...

(MUSIC STOPS)

What'd the doctor say?

Nothing. Supposedly it's just
a 24-hour bug. He gave me some pills.

I told you
you probably just ate some bad gristle.

Should we take the short cut
or the scenic route?

Let's take the short cut.

But the scenic route is so much prettier.

- Okay, let's take the scenic route.
- Great.

It's actually slightly quicker anyway.

(WHISTLES)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

(MRS. FOX GIGGLES)

Thank you.

What is a squab?

You know what it is.
It's like a pigeon I suppose.

Should we go through the hole
under the horse fence,

or climb the rail over the bridle path?

The horse fence is a little safer.

But the bridle path puts us
right next to the squab shack.

(SIGHING) Well, okay.

What's wrong? You're acting skittish.

Don't worry. I've been stealing birds
for a living since before I could trot.

You look unbelievably beautiful tonight.
You're practically glowing.

Maybe it's the lighting.

(HEROES AND VILLAINS PLAYING)

Come on.

I've been taken for lost and gone
And unknown for a long long time

Fell in love years ago
with an innocent girl

From the Spanish and Indian home
Home of the heroes and villains

(WHISTLES)

And she was right in the rain of the bullets
that eventually brought her down

But she's still dancing in the night

Unafraid of what a dude'll do
in a town full of heroes and villains

(SQUABS SQUAWKING)

What's that?

- I think it's a fox trap. Look at this.
- MRS. FOX: Get away from there.

Is it spring-loaded?

I guess if you come from over there
and stand at this door to the squab shack,

this little gadget probably triggers...

Move out of the way,
that's where it's going to land.

Don't... Let's go!

(BOTH GASP)

No, it just falls straight right down.

(SIGHS)

It's not spring-loaded.

I'm pregnant.

Wow. We're going to have a cub.

That's great news.

If we're still alive...

(DOGS BARKING)

If we're still alive tomorrow morning,
I want you to find another line of work.

Okay.

My children were raised

You know they suddenly rise
They started so long ago

Head to toe healthy, wealthy and wise

(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)

Does anybody actually read my column?
Do your friends talk about it?

Of course. In fact,
Rabbit's ex-girlfriend said to me,

"I should read Foxy's column. "
But they don't get the Gazette.

Ash! Let's get cracking.

Why would they? It's a rag sheet.

- I'm sick.
- You're not.

- I have a temperature.
- You don't.

- I don't want to go.
- Hurry up. You'll be late.

I love the way you handled that.

(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

Your cousin Kristofferson's
coming on the 6th.

Be extra nice to him,
he's going through a hard time right now.

- Where will he sleep?
- In your room.

I can't spare the space.
Put him in Dad's study.

Dad's study is occupied by Dad.

(MUSIC STOPS)

I don't want to live in a hole anymore.
It makes me feel poor.

We are poor. But we're happy.

Comme ci, comme �a. Anyway,
the views are better above ground.

Honey, I'm 7 non-fox-years old.
My father died at 7-1/2.

I don't want to live in a hole anymore.
I'm going to do something about it.

(MUSIC RESUMES)

(SNARLING)

Well, I'm off. Have a good day, my darlings.

You know, foxes live in holes for a reason.

Yes and no.

(BRUSHING NOISILY)

What are you wearing? Why a cape
with the pants tucked in your socks?

I guess he's just

different.

(WHISTLES)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

WEASEL OVER PHONE:
I'm not the listing agent on it,

so it doesn't matter to me. I know he's...

Actually, there he is. Mr. Fox! Here it is!

This is the tree! Come on over.
I'll call you back, Bob.

Obviously, it's first growth, indigenous,
original dirt floor.

Good bark, skipping stone hearth,
as you can see.

(CLATTERING)

Kylie. Kylie!

I'm showing the property.
You're not supposed to be here.

What time is it? Sorry.

This is Kylie, the super. He's a little...

What's in the bucket, Mr. Kylie?

WEASEL: See what his eyes look like?
Hey, Kylie!

Huh? Just minnows. Want to try one?

Certainly. Thank you.

It's not exactly an evergreen, is it?
Are there any pines on the market?

Pines are hard to come by
in your price range.

What's that?

What do you do for a living, Mr. Fox?

I used to steal birds,
but now I'm a newspaperman.

Oh, sure. I've seen your byline.

- Good afternoon, gentlemen.
- You're going?

Oh, and Kylie, thank you for the minnow.
It was superb.

Don't buy this tree, Foxy.

You're borrowing at 9.5%
with no fixed rate,

plus moving into the most dangerous
neighborhood in the country

for your species.

You're exaggerating.

(SCOFFS)

I'm sugar-coating it.
This is Boggis, Bunce and Bean,

three of the meanest, nastiest,
ugliest farmers in the history of this valley.

Really? Tell me about them.

All right.

BADGER.W alt Boggis is a chicken farmer.
Probably the most successful in the world.

He weighs the same as a young rhinoceros.

He eats three chickens every day
for breakfast, lunch, supper and dessert.

That's twelve in total per diem.

Nate Bunce is a duck and goose farmer.

He's approximately the size
of a pot-bellied dwarf,

and his chin would be underwater

in the shallow end of any swimming pool
on the planet.

His food is homemade donuts

with smashed-up goose livers
injected into them.

Frank Bean is a turkey and apple farmer.

He invented his own species of each.

He lives on a liquid diet of strong alcoholic
cider, which he makes from his apples.

He's skinny as a pencil, smart as a whip,

and possibly the scariest man
currently living.

The local human children sing
a kind of eerie little rhyme about him.

Here, listen to this.

CHILDREN: (SINGING)
Boggis, Bunce and Bean

One fat, one short, one lean

These horrible crooks
So different in looks

Were nonetheless equally mean

In summation, I think
you just got to not do it. That's all.

I understand what you're saying,
and your comments are valuable,

but I'm going to ignore your advice.

The cuss you are.

The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?

- Are you cussing with me?
- Don't cussing point at me.

Don't cuss with someone
you're not going to cuss with.

(SNARLING)

(HISSING)

(CARRIAGE RETURN BELL DINGS)

- Just buy the tree.
- Okay.

Take a left, then to the right.
Set them down. Help that other guy.

Lift with your legs, not your back.
Don't try to be a superman.

We got two circuits here,
yellow and green. Keep them separated.

We need to bring about 2% more in.

A little bit more, a little bit more.
Looks good.

Get that bottom structure settled in.
Bring in the side unit.

Be careful of the branches, guys.
Don't peel away the bark.

ASH: Wow.

Hi.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

He's slightly younger,
but a cuss of a lot bigger.

That's just genetics, I guess.
Ash has a littler body type.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON GRAMOPHONE)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(EXHALES) Go.

Watch this, Dad!

Well, well.

Good jump, Ash.
Remember to keep your tail tucked.

Still painting thunderstorms, I see.

Do you still feel poor?

Less so.

(INHALES)

(WHOOPING IN ADMIRATION)

Look at that! This kid's a natural.
I'm speechless, Kristofferson.

(GRUMBLING)

Plus, he knows karate.

- Do you think I'm an athlete?
- What are you talking about?

Well, I think I'm an athlete.

Sometimes I feel like you guys
don't see me that way.

What's the subtext here? Is he praying?

I think that's yoga.

(CHANTING SOFTLY)

How long is Kristofferson
supposed to stay with us?

Until your uncle gets better.

But roughly how long do we plan
to give him on that?

Double pneumonia. It's not that big a deal.

(WHISPERING) Lower your voice, Ash.

(SIGHS)

Who am I, Kylie?

Who how? What now?

Why a fox? Why not a horse,
a beetle or a bald eagle?

I'm saying this more as existentialism.

Who am I,
and how can a fox ever be happy

without, forgive the expression,
a chicken in its teeth?

I don't know what you're talking about,
but it sounds illegal.

Here, put this bandit hat on.

Maybe you're a medium. Take it off
and don't wear it around the house.

And so it begins.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

Do you mind if I slide my bedroll
slightly out from under the train set?

It's hard to sleep
in that corkscrew position.

There's a lot of attitudes going on
around here. Don't let me get one.

It's just that my spinal cord is...

Sleep wherever you want.

Here, take my bed.
I'll crawl under the bookcase.

Who cares if I get splinters in my ears?

- Never mind.
- Are you going to pout about it?

I've had it up to here
with the sad house guest routine.

KRISTOFFERSON: Good night.

(KRISTOFFERSON CRYING SOFTLY)

(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

(ROCKING CHAIR SQUEAKING)

I used to do this professionally
and I was very successful at it.

I had to get out of it for personal reasons,

but I've decided to secretly do
one last big job on the sly.

I'm bringing you in as my secretary
and personal assistant.

Okay.

This is actually kind of a big deal,
so don't just say, "Okay. "

Okay, thank you.

I'm going to tape this for my records,
so don't make a lot of sounds.

Meaning, stop rocking.

Master Plan. Phase one. Side A.

MR. FOX: We'll start with
Boggis' Chicken House Number One.

His only security is a few old
hunting beagles and a low stone wall.

A word about beagles,
never look a beagle directly in the eye.

Why not? Beagles aren't so tough.

One of these beagles has chronic rabies,
which he's on medication for.

If you get bitten by him, you have to get
shots in your stomach for six months.

I'm not going to justify this.

Just pay attention and stop interrupting.
I'm taping this.

I picked some blueberries and laced each

with 10 mg of high potency
sleeping powder.

Enough to tranquilize a gorilla.

- How do we make them eat it?
- Beagles love blueberries.

MR. FOX: Remember, they aren't very
smart, but they're incredibly paranoid,

so always kill a chicken in one bite.

One bite, get it?

Are you listening to me?
I look in your eyes

and can't tell if you get anything I say.

Magnesium.

- Magnesium!
- Sorry.

Pipette.

- Pipette!
- Oh, sorry.

Potassium... What are you looking at?

Oh, no.

Why's your cousin such a wet sandwich?

- I beg your pardon?
- What's that mean?

That means I didn't understand,
a wet sandwich?

A wet sandwich, he's too short,
he dresses like a girl, he's

different.

Are you a bully?
You're starting to sound like a bully.

(CHUCKLES) Watch this.

(LAUGHING)

You just destroyed the whole experiment.

We better extinguish this magnesium.
Stand back.

(EXCLAIMING)

I like your ears.

(STAMMERING) Mine?

- AGNES: Mmm-hmm.
- Thank you. I like your spots.

Really? I used to cover them up,
but, you know...

(SCOFFING)

- You're supposed to be my lab partner.
- I am.

No, you're not. You're disloyal.

(BOTH PANTING)

(SNIFFING)

A few beagles, as we discussed,
but we're ready for that.

In the old days, didn't we do a thing
when somebody saw a wolf...

Wolf? What wolf?

Nothing? Never mind.

Here comes a little stone wall.
Not a problem.

What the cuss? Where did this giant fence
come from? We had a master plan.

What's this lightning bolt?

It could mean the fence might be electric.

I hope it doesn't mean thunder,
because I have a phobia of that.

Ah!

Watch this.

(SNIFFING)

(LAUGHS)

(WHISTLES)

Beagles love blueberries. Didn't I tell you?
The master plan is working again.

This is the tricky part.

One of us has to jump the barbed wire,

slide under the tire spikes
and open the fence latch.

- Who will it be?
- Not me.

Kristofferson could do this easily.
He's like an Olympic level...

Why don't we run that way?
There's no obstacles.

Yeah, that's better.

(MR. FOX SNARLING)

(KYLIE GASPING NERVOUSLY)

- I said, one bite.
- I'm trying!

I have a different kind of teeth from you.
I'm an opossum.

Give me that.

(MR. FOX SNARLING)

That's so grisly. There's blood.

Follow me.

All right, what's the master escape plan?

(ALARMS BLARING)

Follow me again.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

MR. FOX: Quick!

Give me that!

Let's hit the five-and-dime
on the way home.

We'll make fake price tags
and wrap the chickens in wax paper,

so it looks like we bought them!

(WHOOPING EXCITEDLY)

(BOTH HOWLING)

(MRS. FOX GASPS)

MRS. FOX: Huh!

(WHISTLING NONCHALANTLY)

Where'd you get this chicken?

At the five-and-dime last night.

It has a Boggis Farms tag around its ankle.

Huh! Must have escaped from there
before I bought it.

(WHISTLING CASUALLY)

Psst!

Bunce tonight. He has a refrigerated
smokehouse with geese...

I thought you said
we were only doing one last big job.

We are. But it's not done yet.
It's a triple-header.

(MR. FOX WHISPERING)

(MR. FOX SHUSHING)

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(KYLIE SNEEZES)

(ROOSTER CROWING)

(BOTH LAUGHING QUIETLY)

MR. FOX: (WHISPERING) Shh! Shh!

(MRS. FOX GASPS)

MRS. FOX: Huh.

Let's see some hustle.

I've never played whack-bat.
What are the rules?

No whack-bat on the other side
of the river?

No, we mostly just run grass sprints
or play acorns.

It's real simple.

COACH SKIP: There's 3 grabbers, 3 taggers,
5 twig-runners and the player at whack-bat.

The center-tagger lights a pinecone
and chucks it over the basket.

The whack-batter tries to hit
the cedar-stick off the cross-rock.

The twig-runners dash back and forth

until the pinecone burns out
and the umpire calls, "hot box. "

At the end, you count
how many score-downs it adds up to

and divide by nine.

- Got it.
- Go in for Ash.

Substitution! Ash, come out!
You need a breather.

Come out?

What? I still feel good, Coach.
Let me finish this 8th.

No, come on. Step out, let's go.

- Am I getting better, Coach?
- You're sure as cuss not getting worse.

You think I could end up being as good
as my dad if I keep practicing?

Your dad? Your dad was probably
the best whack-bat player

we ever had in this school.

Don't compare yourself to that.

But I think I have some of the same
raw natural talent, don't you?

You're improving, let's put it like that.

UMPIRE: Hot box!

KRISTOFFERSON:
Divide that by nine, please!

(WHOOPING)

That's the first time
this kid's ever swung a whack bat?

He really is your father's nephew.

- Not by blood.
- No?

- He's from my mother's side.
- Oh, yeah.

What's that stand for?

It's for pep. Pep.

It's a K.

Come on now, look alive! That-a-boy!

We're going steady.

(GROANS)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

What's that?

What? What, this?

Nothing. Just some old trophy I won
for being an athlete.

I have to cover a book party
at some animal�s nest

in a tobacco field down the hill.

Kylie and I are going to give it a whirl.
Don't wait up.

What's the book?

Some memoir.
I'll get him to sign you a copy.

The dinner was pitch perfect.

I saw a couple broken burglar bars under
the back door to Bean's secret cider cellar.

- We're breaking into Bean's house?
- Cellar.

- Where he lives?
- Where he keeps the cider.

Below where he lives.

Where'd you come from? Go back
to the tree and do your homework.

I want to help steal cider.

We're going to a book party.
And be quiet about any cider,

because nobody said that. Now, go!

You're going to get me in a lot of trouble.

Besides, you're too little
and uncoordinated.

One, two, three!

(GRUMBLING)

Where the cuss does that kid get off?

Can you believe that?
How'd he get tipped off?

You think he'll tell on us?

Before we go on,
can you give me some kind of signal

so I know this is getting through to you?

That's it? All right.

There's another one.

- Good, you made it. Anybody see you?
- I don't think so.

Put this bandit hat on.

I'm pleased to be invited,
but I'm not sure I should be doing this.

- Why not?
- I don't like to be dishonest with people.

Just keep your mouth shut
and it won't be a problem.

- I don't think he should come, either.
- We're not taking a vote!

One time, this wolf I saw...

What's with all the wolf talk?
Give it a rest for once.

(CLANGING)

(BUBBLING)

Look at all this apple juice.

Apple juice?
We didn't come here for apple juice.

This is some of the strongest,
finest alcoholic cider money can buy

or that can even be stolen.

It burns in your throat,
boils in your stomach,

and tastes almost exactly
like pure, melted gold.

(FINGERS SNAP)

(MATCH STRIKING)

Y'all are trespassing now, illegally.

'Round these parts,
we don't take kindly to cider poachers.

You've aged badly, Rat.

You're getting a little long in the tooth
yourself, partner.

Why are you wearing that badge?
What is that?

It's my job.

(EXCLAIMING)

(HISSING)

How's your old lady doing?

Do you refer to my wife?

She was the town tart in her day.

Wild and footloose and

pretty as a mink stole.

Is that true?

Of course not. I mean,
certainly she lived. We all did.

It was a different time.
Let's not use a double standard.

- But town tart?
- Shut up.

(RAT EXCLAIMS CHALLENGINGLY)

That was close, Rat. Be careful.

Oh, I'm careful as a...

(DOOR LATCH UNLOCKING)

(EXCLAIMING)

How many jars should I bring up, Franklin?

BEAN: I don't know. Two, I guess.

MRS. BEAN: You drank three yesterday.

BEAN: All right. Take three.

(RAT GRUNTING)

Nope. Two is plenty.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Oh, my cuss. Is she blind?

She might have astigmatism
or possibly a cataract of some form.

Anyway, her eyes don't see well.

(DOOR SQUEAKING OPEN)

MR. FOX: What'd I tell you?
This kid's a natural! Am I right?

BEAN: So good of you to come.
You both look splendid.

How have you been, Walter?
In good health?

Nathan? AII's well?

Wonderful.

Any fox problems?

- Are you joking?
- Horrible.

- We're miserable.
- He's laughing at us.

- Humiliating.
- We're furious.

I don't want to talk about it.

(SLURPING SLOWLY)

Perhaps we ought to kill him.

- That seems obvious.
- He's too sneaky.

Right, of course. He's very
clever, isn't he?

Might be a bit difficult, I suppose.

(DOGS BARKING)

I've figured out where this fox lives.
Tomorrow night, we'll camp in the bushes,

wait for him to come out
and shoot the cuss to smithereens.

How does that grab you?

I don't see why not.

MRS. FOX: Another book party?

I didn't see you sitting in the dark
over there.

Actually, there was a fire.
I just got the call.

May be arson.
I have to interview the marshal...

Kylie. Is he telling the truth?

(STAMMERING)

I don't want to be put in
the middle of this.

Thanks, Kylie.

Why is he wearing that bandit hat?

His ears were cold. He's not with us.
Go back to bed.

If what I think is happening is happening,

it better not be.

(SNIFFING)

Nice job covering for me. Next time...

(RUSTLING)

(GROWLING SOFTLY)

(WIND BLOWING)

(SNIFFING)

All three!

BEAN: Kill him!

(MR. FOX AND KYLIE SCREAMING)

We got the tail, but we missed the fox.

Petey, sorry to wake you.
Can you dash out here right away

with three shovels, two pickaxes,
500 rounds of ammunition,

and a bottle of apple cider?

- ASH: It'll grow back, won't it?
- Tails don't grow back.

- Tails don't grow back?
- Mmm-mmm. Except lizards'.

Tails don't grow back. I'm gonna be
tail-less for the rest of my life.

Anyway, it's not half as bad
as double pneumonia, right?

I mean, his dad has one foot in the grave
and three feet on a banana peel.

ASH: That's a lot worse than...

Excuse me. I'm going to go meditate
for half an hour.

You have 29 minutes
to come up with a proper apology.

Me? Me have an apology?

He just got here and got a bandit hat?
Where's my bandit hat?

Why didn't I get shot at? Because
you think I'm no good at anything!

Maybe you're right, thanks.

(MR. FOX SIGHS)

I told you not to bring him.

MR. FOX: Why the cuss
didn't I listen to my lawyer?

We'll be lucky to flip this tree
for half of what we've sunk into it.

I can't sleep on my back for 6 weeks
and on my stomach, I feel congested.

Why the cuss didn't I listen to my lawyer?

MRS. FOX: Because you
don't listen to anybody.

(THUDDING)

- What was that?
- MRS. FOX: I said...

(RATTLING OUTSIDE)

Wake up! They're digging us out!

- They'll kill the children.
- Over my dead body.

- I know. You're dead, too, in that scenario.
- I'm arguing against that.

- What?
- Why are you yelling?

Stop! You say one thing, she says another,
and it all changes back again!

(CRACKING)

(THUDDING)

I've got it. No time to lose.
Why didn't I think of this sooner?

Think of what?

We've been trapped before.

(SHOUTING) Dig!

(ALL GRUNTING FURIOUSLY)

(ALL PANTING)

I think it's time for me to give a pep talk
and explain some things.

A very long time ago...

May I have a word with you privately?

Well, we're in a hole here.

On the other side of this mineral deposit.
Follow me.

(BREATHING SHALLOWLY) I'm going
to lose my temper now.

- When?
- Right now.

Well, when?

(GROANING)

Twelve fox-years ago,
you made a promise

while we were caged in that fox trap
that, if we survived,

you would never steal another chicken,
turkey, goose, duck

or squab, whatever they are.

Now, I believed you.
Why did you lie to me?

Because I'm a wild animal.

You are also a husband, and a father!

I'm trying to tell you the truth
about myself.

I don't care about the truth about yourself.

This story is too predictable.

Predictable, really?
What happens in the end?

(SNIFFLING) In the end, we all die.

Unless you change.

Petey, run down to the rental department
at Malloy Consolidated and place an order

for one Mighty Max, one Junior Spitfire,

and a long-range Tornado 375 Turbo.
For immediate delivery.

(ALL LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(TRACTORS APPROACHING)

Huh?

- Huh?
- Huh?

(RUMBLING OVERHEAD)

(STREETFIGHTING MAN PLAYING)

Everywhere I hear the sound

of marching charging feet, boy

Cause summer's here and the time is right

For fighting in the streets, boy

Ash, are you mad at me?
I understand if you are, and I'm sorry.

I wouldn't have involved your cousin
if I'd realized you'd feel this way.

It was only ever because he kind of
a natural, I mean... Look at him dig!

(GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)

Anyway, I'm sorry if...

I'm going to just put dirt in my ears.

That's better. I can't hear you now,
but keep talking.

Get down

(TRACTORS SHUTTING DOWN)

(KRISTOFFERSON CHANTING SOFTLY)

I don't have beagle ticks, by the way.

(STAMMERING) Well, me, neither. Whoever
said we had beagle ticks, by the way?

Apparently, that's what you've been
telling everyone. Beagle ticks and pelt lice.

I never said that. And you're misquoting
me. But I'll get to the bottom of it.

We may or may not ever see
the light of day again,

but I really like Agnes
and I think she likes me.

Great. She's a free agent. What do I care?

Then why are you dead set...

- Can I ask you a question?
- You may.

What's the point of sitting on the floor
with your legs twisted into a pretzel

talking to yourself
for an hour and 45 minutes? It's weird.

My father and I started meditating
together when...

That's great, but I'd worry more about
what that does to your reputation

than whether you have beagle ticks or not.

I don't. Nor pelt lice.

(MR. FOX SIGHING)

One of those slovenly farmers is probably
wearing my tail as a necktie by now.

You're paranoid, Foxy.

REPORTER ON TV: Farmer, correct me
if I'm misreading the data.

You've destroyed the scenery,
but the alleged fox remains at large.

(LAUGHING) Look at Dad's tie.

What will you three prominent farmers
do now?

I can tell you what we're not going to do.

We're not going to let him go.

(BEEPS)

Stand clear, please. Stand clear, everyone.

Contact!

Boggis, how many men work
on your farm?

-35.
- Bunce?

-36.
- I've got 37.

That... Carry the zero, divide by two...

That's 108 all together.

Petey, drop everything
and assemble all 108 members

of our three combined work forces.

We'll starve them out, then kill them.
Starting in

shall we say, 15 minutes?

REPORTER: An estimated
108 snipers are in position,

surrounding the demolished fox residence.

Any local animals appear to be
trapped underground

without provisions of any kind.

If I had a crystal ball, I'd predict
a fairly grisly outcome to this situation.

We'll stay on the scene, watching closely,
as events continue to unfold.

This is going to be a total cluster-cuss
for everybody.

How long can a fox go
without food or water?

I can only answer as an opossum, but I
can't last more than another couple hours

before I get completely dehydrated
and starve to death.

What's that?

(WIND BLOWING)

ASH: Dad.
MR. FOX: Not a sound.

(DIRT CLATTERING)

You scared the cuss out of us!

(GROWLING)

A lot of good animals are probably going
to die, because of you!

We've been digging in circles for 3 days.

Half the woods have been obliterated.

Nobody can get out. My wife's huddled
at the bottom of a flint-mine

with no food, no water,
and 27 starving animal brats!

I just want to see a little sunshine.

You're nocturnal, Phil. Your eyes
barely even open on a good day.

I'm sick of your double-talk!
We have rights!

We don't like you and we hate your dad.

Now grab some mud,
chew it and swallow it.

- I'm not going to eat mud.
- Cuss, yeah, you are.

Don't do that.

Why'd you take your shoes off?

So I don't break your nose when I kick it.

(MARTIAL ARTS GRUNTING)

(WHIMPERING)

I can fight my own fights.

No, you can't.

Those farmers won't quit till they've
got you and every member of your family

nailed upside-down to a bloody stick
with your eyes gorged out.

This is getting a little too personal.

Give me a minute.

(MUTTERING)

I've got an idea.

- What?
- It could be good.

- Lay it on us.
- It might save our lives.

Say the idea!

All right. Let's try it.

Go to the flint-mine, tell Mrs. Badger et al.
that help is on the way.

Is help on the way?

I sure as cuss hope so.

Ash, I know what it's like to feel

different.

I'm not different.

Am I?

We all are. Him, especially.

But there's something kind of fantastic
about that, isn't there?

Not to me. I'd prefer to be an athlete.

Gentlemen,

this time we must dig
in a very special direction.

We have to kind of feel out the vibe.

Begin.

(MR. FOX SNARLING)

(THUDDING)

Whoo-hoo! Come on! You guys...
You're not... Come on.

I hit it slap in the middle.
Do you get how incredible this is?

(WHISTLES)

(PETEY'S SONG PLAYING)

(SINGING) 'Bout a handsome little fox
Let me sing you folks a yarn

Hey, diddle-dee, daddle-da,
doddle-do, doodle-dum

'Twas a splendid little fella
Full of wit and grace and charm

Say zippy-zee, zappy-za,
yappy-yo, goggle-gum

Like any little critter needing
Vittles for his little-uns

Well, he stole and he cheated
And he lied just to survive

With a doodle-dum, diddle-di,
duddle, doodle-dum

(SINGING ALONG)

With a zippy-zo, zippy-zay,
zippy-zappy-zoopy-zee

Oh, doo-dah, doo-dah, day!

Let me take a little tick
To color in the scene

'Cross the valley lived three yokels
Name of Boggis, Bunce and Bean

These three crazy jackies
Had our hero on the run

Shot the tail off the cuss
With a fox-shooting gun

But that stylish little fox
Was clever as a whip

Dug as quick as a gopher
That was hyperactive

(PEOPLE WHOOPING)

Now those three farmers sit

'Twhere there a hole 'twas once a hill

Singing diddle-dee, daddle-da,
doddle-do, doodle-dum

And as far as I can reckon
They're sitting up there still

Singing zippy-zee, zappy-za, yoppy-yo...

What are you singing, Petey?

Just making it up as I went along, really.

That's just weak songwriting.
You wrote a bad song, Petey!

(CLATTERING)

We took everything!

They took everything?

Let me call you back, Petey.

- They could be anywhere.
- Digging right under our feet.

In a sense,
we've only made matters worse.

We should have stayed out of it.

(GASPING)

(SCREAMS)

I've got an idea.

(PLAYING JAZZ)

I still don't have a signal.
Is anybody getting reception?

BADGER: I don't have any signal,
but I've had a problem with that.

Crisp up those ducks! Drag those
chickens! Slow down. We're ahead.

Where are the apples?
Slice them up and get them in the pan.

I can imagine how painful,
even emotionally, that must be for you.

It's not the end of the world.

But how humiliating, having
your whole tail blown clean off by...

Can we drop it?

Yeah, really good, sweet, and nice.

(WHISTLES) They say you're a natural.
True or false?

Answer the question.

- True, I guess.
- Correct.

Get away, Agnes.
I need a private word with Kristofferson.

- Just a minute. She...
- I don't mind.

I just had a brainstorm
for something fantastic I've got to do.

But I can't do it alone.

- I'm not interested.
- Hear me out.

No, thanks. Foxes from your side
of the family take unnecessary risks.

Only because they've got guts
in their blood. So do we.

- Was I a bit rude to Agnes?
- Yeah.

I should probably say something.
I will in a minute.

- What's the brainstorm?
- In a nutshell?

We're going to steal back my dad's tail.

Whoa! Whew! Hmm...

- BEAN: Okay, chief.
- Here we go.

(CIDER RUSHING)

Well, it took a near catastrophe for
all of you to finally take me up on my offer

to have you over
to the flint-mine for dinner.

Maybe my invitation got lost in the mail.

(CHUCKLING) Does anybody know
what he's talking about?

No, Clive's right.
In all seriousness, excuse me, B.

We do have these three ugly farmers
to thank for one thing.

Reminding us to be thankful
and aware of each other.

I'll say it again, aware.

- I don't feel safe.
- That's because we're not.

You should put your bandit hat on.

I don't have one,
but I modified this tube sock.

- We look good.
- Yeah, we do.

Now, where would you keep a prized tail,
if you collected them?

- I'd probably hang it over the mantelpiece.
- Right. Good. In fact...

(SNIFFING) What's that smell?

Ever tasted one of Mrs. Bean's famous
nutmeg-ginger-apple-snaps?

Well, how do you do?

They are so warm.

(BOTH SNARLING)

Uh-oh.

We got it wrong.

It's not over the mantelpiece.

KRISTOFFERSON: The necktie.

(DOOR OPENING)

(SHUSHING)

- (WHISPERING) Let's go.
- Hang on.

- Two more.
- She's there.

She can't see.

(BOTH GASP)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Look at each other. Here we are. Wow.

I've already had too much to drink
and I'm feeling sentimental

but I'll say something anyway,

which nobody wants to admit,
but which is probably true.

We beat them. We beat those farmers

and now we're triumphantly eating
their roasted chicken,

their sizzling duck, their succulent turkey,
their foie gras...

Where'd the boys go?

- Ash! Kristofferson!
- Boys!

That was crazy.
I can't believe what just happened.

Come on, let's get out of here! Let's go!
Where are we?

Kristofferson?

What am I hearing again, baby?
What's happening? Am I still paranoid?

(RUMBLING)

Cider.

(ANIMALS COUGHING)

What happened? Something with cider.
That was dangerous. Is anyone hurt?

We're all hurt!
My entire flint-mine got demolished!

Apple juice. Apple juice flood.

Do a head count. Everybody pick a buddy.
Where'd the boys go?

Ash! Kristofferson! Ash!

ASH: I'm here!

- Who's your buddy?
- Kristofferson.

- Where is he?
- I don't know.

- Why not?
- I lost him.

(STAMMERING) You lost him?

We were in the kitchen,
trying to find the necktie.

What are you talking about?

It's my fault.

Where did you get
that nutmeg-ginger-apple-snap,

and why are you wearing
that fake bandit hat?

We went to steal back your tail.

(GASPING)

MR. FOX: Kristofferson!

Wrap this little mutt in a newspaper

and put him in a box
with some holes punched in the top.

There's one way out of the sewer,
but the manhole cover's closed

and a station wagon's parked on it.

Which means,
we're permanently stuck down here.

You still think we beat them, Foxy?

Badger's right. These farmers
aren't going to quit until they catch me.

I shouldn't have lied to your face

or fallen off the wagon and started
secretly stealing chickens on the sly.

I shouldn't have tried to embarrass
these farmers and cuss with their heads.

I enjoyed it, but I shouldn't have done it.
Now there's only one way out.

If I hand myself over, let them kill me,

stuff me
and hang me over their mantelpiece...

- You'll do no such thing.
- Maybe they'll let everyone else live.

Oh, why did you have to get us
into this, Foxy?

I don't know, but I have a possible theory.

I think I need everyone to think
I'm the greatest,

the "fantastic" Mr. Fox.

If they aren't completely knocked out
and dazzled and intimidated by me

I don't feel good about myself.

Foxes traditionally like to court danger,
hunt prey and outsmart predators.

That's what I'm good at.

At the end of the day, I'm just...

I know. We're wild animals.

I guess we always were.

If I had all this to do over again,
I'd have never let you down.

It was always more fun
when we did it together, anyway.

- I love you, Felicity.
- I love you, too.

But I shouldn't have married you.

I tell you about finding out
we were having a cub?

- In the fox trap.
- Right.

- We were at gunpoint, and your mother...
- Said she's pregnant.

Let me tell it, okay?

I had no idea how to get out of this jam.
Then it hit me.

What do foxes do
better than any other animal?

- Dig.
- You're stepping on my lines.

- Keep telling it.
- So we dug.

And the whole time I put paw over paw,
scooping dirt and pebble,

your mother digging like crazy next to me,

I kept wondering,
who is this little boy going to be?

- Or girl.
- Or girl.

Because at that point, we didn't know.

Ash, I'm so glad he was you.

It's not your fault. It's mine.

(WHISTLES)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Good-bye.

Well, I guess we should probably split
into a certain number of groups

and start doing something, right?

(WHIMPERING)

(CLEARING THROAT)

Could I have a glass of water?

Excuse me. Excuse me!

Kristofferson! Hello! Can you hear us?

Kristofferson!

RAT: They got the boy.

They want to trade the son for his poppa.

BADGER: Why did they write this
in letters cut out of magazines?

To protect their identities.
Oh, but then why'd they sign their names?

Plus we already knew who they were
because they're trying to kill us.

BADGER: "Mr. Fox, we have your son.
If you ever want to see him alive again... "

ASH: You took the wrong fox!

I'm his son.

I can see the resemblance.

(SCREAMS)

What was that?

ASH: (ECHOING) Dad!

(ASH SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(GROWLING)

Stop, man, stop!

(EXCLAIMING)

(WHOOPING)

Look at you, girl.

You're still as fine-looking
as a cr�me br�l�e.

Am I being flirted with by a psychotic rat?

(HISSING)

MRS. FOX: Ash!

ASH: Let me out!

Excuse me. May I cut in?

(GROWLS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(RAT EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

(RAT GROANING WEAKLY)

(CHOKING WEAKLY)

(SOFTLY) The boy's locked in an apple crate

on top of a gun locker
in the attic of Bean Annex.

Would you have told me
if I didn't kill you first?

Never.

All these wasted years.
What were you looking for, Rat?

(RAT STAMMERING WEAKLY)

He's trying to say something, Dad.

Cider.

MR. FOX: Here you are, Rat.
A beaker of Bean's finest secret cider.

(WHISPERING) Like melted gold.

(MOANING SOFTLY)

- He redeemed himself.
- Redemption, sure.

But in the end, he's just another dead rat

in a garbage pail
behind a Chinese restaurant.

- He went bananas.
- Yes, he did.

My suicide mission has been canceled.

We're replacing it
with a go-for-broke rescue mission.

In a way,
I'm almost glad that flood interrupted us,

because I don't like the toast I was giving.
I'm going to start over.

(GRAND CHORAL PLAYING)

When I look down this table,
with the exquisite feast set before us,

I see two terrific lawyers,

a skilled pediatrician, a wonderful chef,

a savvy real estate agent,
an excellent tailor, a crack accountant,

a gifted musician,
a pretty good minnow fisherman,

and possibly the best landscape painter
working on the scene today.

Maybe a few of you might even
read my column from time to time.

I tend to doubt it.

I also see a room full of wild animals.

Wild animals with true natures
and pure talents.

With scientific-sounding Latin names
that mean something about our DNA.

Each with his own strengths
and weaknesses due to his or her species.

Anyway, I think it may very well be
all the beautiful differences among us

that might just give us the tiniest glimmer
of a chance of saving my nephew

and letting me make it up to you for
getting us into this crazy whatever-it-is.

I don't know, it's just a thought.
Thank you for listening. Cheers, everyone.

(EXCLAIMS)

KYLIE: Let's eat!

What? I was just playing along
with the bit he was doing.

Will you join me?

I will.

- ALL: Oh, all right, I guess.
- Thank you.

Let's start planning.
Who knows shorthand?

Great. Linda, Lutra lutra.
You got some dry paper? Here we go.

- Mole, Talpa europea. What do you got?
- I can see in the dark.

- Incredible. We can use that. Linda?
- Got it.

- Rabbit, Oryctolagus cuniculus.
- I'm fast.

- You bet you are. Linda?
- Got it.

- Beaver, Castor fiber.
- I chew through wood.

- Amazing! Linda!
- Got it.

- Badger, Meles meles!
- Demolitions expert.

- What? Since when?
- Explosions, flames, burning things!

- Demolitions expert. Okay, Linda?
- Got it.

- Weasel, Mustela nivalis!
- Stop yelling!

(WHOOPING EXCITEDLY)

MR. FOX: Ash,
get these little kids organized

and put together a K.P. unit
to keep this sewer clean.

It's good for morale.

- Done. What's K.P.?
- Um, I think it means janitors.

(FIELD MOUSE SPEAKING SOFTLY)

Me. Yo, over here, hey.
I want to go. I want to fight.

Good. Fabulous. Microtus pennsylvanicus.

(CHUCKLING)

I didn't get a job yet. Or a Latin name.
What's my strength?

Listen, you're Kylie.
You're an unbelievably nice guy.

Your job is really
just to be available, I think.

I don't know your Latin name. I doubt
they had opossums in ancient Rome.

- It's stupendous! Where's us?
- Right here.

Paint an X.

MR. FOX: Dear Farmers Boggis,
Bunce and Bean:

I have no alternative
but to agree to your terms.

Move the station wagon
and open the manhole cover

below the drainpipe by the cobbler shop

and meet me there at 10:00 A.M. sharp.
I will hand myself over to you

in exchange for the boy's safe return.
Cordially, Mr. Fox.

Why'd he write this
in letters cut out of magazines?

I don't know, but you did the same thing.

I don't trust this guy.
Anyway, set up the ambush.

Synchronize your clocks.
The time is now 9:45 A.M.

(WATCHES BEEPING)

Put these bandit hats on.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE PLAYING)

(TICKING)

(BEEPING)

Did you bring the boy?

Of course we did. Say something, kid.

KRISTOFFERSON: Excuse me. Excuse me!

That doesn't sound anything like him.
It's amateur night in Dixie.

(BLOWING)

What the cuss is he burning?

CHILDREN:
Boggis, Bunce, Bean

One fat, one short, one lean

(ALL LAUGHING)

Is that all you've got, Mr. Fox?

CHILDREN: (SINGING)
Boggis, Bunce and Bean

One fat, one short, one lean

These horrible crooks
So different in looks

Were nonetheless equally mean...

It's unclear whether these...

(ALARM BELL RINGING)

Boggis, Bunce and Bean

One fat, one short, one lean

Horrible crooks
Different in looks

Nonetheless equally mean

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

28 pinecones fired, 22 targets hit.

Decoy phase, go.

Yes, sir. Domino Santo, one, two, three.

(WHOOPING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(STAMMERING) Dad's on fire!

(EXCLAIMING)

- Foxy, you're on.
- We're ready.

- I'm going to find him and bring him back.
- I know you will.

Contact!

(GRAND CHORAL PLAYING)

Are you scared of wolves?

No. I have a phobia of them.

- I have a thing about thunder.
- Why? That's stupid.

I don't like needles myself.

Where'd you come from again?
How did you get in the sidecar?

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

PILOT: I've got a fox on a motorcycle,
with a littler fox

and what looks like to be
an opossum in the sidecar,

riding north on Farm Lane Seven.

Does that sound like anything to anybody?

(OVER RADIO) Red, it's Franklin Bean.

Turn around, get the cuss back here
and pick us up on the ASAP.

(FLIPPING SWITCHES)

Ah!

- You got a credit card?
- Sure.

This is what I was saying about
how good you are, just being available.

A titanium card?
How the cuss did you qualify for this?

I pay my bills on time.
I've always had good credit.

(EXCLAIMING)

(WHISTLES)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Come on.

What's this thing you do?
The whistle with the clicking sound?

What do you mean? That's my trademark.

(WHISTLES)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Give me a blueberry.

- Blueberry.
- You didn't say anything...

You forgot the blueberries?
I did say it! I wrote it on your paw!

Yeah. It's written on the front of your paw.

- What's that white stuff around his mouth?
- I think he eats soap.

- That's not soap.
- Then why does he have that bubbly...

He's rabid. With rabies.
I've heard about this beagle.

You two go ahead while I distract him.

(SQUEAKING)

(DOOR OPENING)

(MUMBLING)

(SHUSHING)

ASH: Hey.

I can fit through there.

- Want to know why?
- Why?

Because I'm little.

Give me that shoelace.

(ASH EXHALES)

Psst! Psst!

(WHISPERING) It's me. I'm rescuing you.

- I have mixed feelings about that.
- I don't blame you.

Can you give me a karate lesson
real quick?

Okay. Stand like this.

Position yourself on the balls of your feet.

Close your eyes.
You weigh less than a slice of bread.

I feel there's a tenderness in your eyes,
isn't there?

Yes, I'm right.

Let's review the principal agility
techniques: jumping, flipping, landing.

MR. FOX: You're a good boy.
A little lonely, maybe, but terribly sweet.

Is your name Spitz?
That's German, isn't it?

Now, a rudimentary version
of the cyclone chop.

First, get a running start,
which, obviously, I can't do here.

Then, at the destination of the chop,

lean and thrust into the point of contact,
paw open and straight,

then withdraw instantaneously.
It's the pull-back that matters.

The pull-back generates
the force of the impact.

Got it.

Yeah, I'm just going to chop this thing
right off.

(CHANTING)

He's going to do it.

Why, you're just as sweet as a...

(GROWLING)

I thought he said
never look a beagle in the eye.

(MARTIAL ARTS GRUNTING)

(GASPING)

- Did you chop it?
- (SOFTLY) Oh, no. Oh, no.

(CRASHING)

(GROWLING)

(SNARLING)

(BARKING)

(MR. FOX SCREAMING)

ASH: Kristofferson.

Uh, I'm okay.

- I'm okay.
- I'm sorry.

That's all right. You were just trying
to unlock the apple crate.

No. I mean I'm sorry about...

Oh, you mean from before. The apology
you owed me, but never actually said.

Right. I'm grumpy. I spit.
I wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

I'm just different, apparently.

But it won't happen again.

Kristofferson, I'm sorry.

Well, that's all right, too.

Throw me the shoelace, please.

(PANTING)

(BARKING FURIOUSLY)

(GASPING)

You okay?

(GASPS)

He's wearing it.

Your tractors uprooted my tree,
your posse hunted my family,

your gunmen kidnapped my nephew,
your rat insulted my wife,

and you shot off my tail.

I'm not leaving here without that necktie.

Kill him!

Actually, we should just go.
Where did I park?

I weigh less than a slice of bread.

- I'll be right back.
- Ash!

Dodge the grabbers, duck the taggers,
jump the twig-basket and

knock the cedar-stick off the cross-rock!

(MARTIAL ARTS EXCLAIMING)

(WHOOPS)

Hot box!

(BARKING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

(SPITZ SNARLING)

(GUNFIRE)

Ash, that was pure wild animal craziness.
You're an athlete.

Mmm-hmm.

Here, put this bandit hat on.

Goggles.

CHILDREN:
Boggis, Bunce and Bean

One fat, one short
one lean

Are you going to...

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

MR. FOX: Holy swearing cuss!

(BARKING)

(SNARLING)

Petey, bring us a ladder, please.

MOLE: Stand by!

I just intercepted
a high-frequency radio signal with the can,

they're on their way home!

(ALL CHEERING)

Don't turn around.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Where'd he come from?

Where'd you come from?

MR. FOX: What are you doing here?

Canis lupus.

Vulpes vulpes.

I don't think he speaks English or Latin.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

I'm asking if he thinks
we're in for a hard winter.

He doesn't seem to know.

I have a phobia of wolves!

What a beautiful creature.
Wish him luck, boys.

- Good luck, wolf.
- Good luck out there.

These three, in this reporter's opinion,
obsessed farmers

remain convinced the fox in question
will eventually reappear. Why?

- Foxes aren't meant to live in a sewer.
- They're refugees.

- All they have to eat down there is...
- Trash!

And not much of it.

Uh-huh.

Thank you, farmers.
For Action 12, this is Dan Peabody.

- What is it?
- His tonsils are a little swollen.

- Is it serious?
- No. Hopefully, he won't have to lose them.

Lose the tonsils?

- I'm hungry.
- Have some water. Here.

BEAVER: We try to keep things simple.

WEASEL: This is the first time I've been
to a party where no one serves anything.

(CUBS CHANTING)

My darlings.

ASH: Where are we going?
MR. FOX: Nobody knows.

ASH: We were in the middle
of a meditation practice.

Watch your step.
Let's see, where does this lead?

Oh, no. Foxy, it's filthy.

- MR. FOX: Keep a good grip, everyone.
- This better be worth it.

MR. FOX: I think I see a little sliver of light.
What's this? Is it a door?

You're a terrible actor, Foxy.

(SNIFFING) Do you smell something?
Is that Freon?

Shh! I'm going to open this trap door
and see if something's on the other side.

I highly doubt it, though.
There's probably just more sewer.

- Wouldn't it be surprising if...
- ASH: Open it.

Look, there's a whole enormous, glorious,
gigantic supermarket up here.

And they close early on weekends.

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN WONDER)

You really are kind of a quote-unquote
"fantastic" fox.

I try. Get enough to share with everybody.

Remember, the Rabbits are vegetarians
and Badger supposedly can't eat walnuts.

(ALL SNARLING)

I guess now that Kristofferson's dad
is already down to single pneumonia

he'll be going home soon.

Actually, when he spoke to me
from the hospital

he said he was already talking to Weasel

about real estate availability
in our sewer system.

Really? Well, now's the time to buy.

Ha!

Okay. I get it. Is that your trademark?

- I'm pregnant again.
- (GASPS) Wow.

I think we're both glowing.

Do another toast, Dad.

Okay, uh...

They say all foxes
are slightly allergic to linoleum.

But it's cool to the paw. Try it.

They say my tail needs to be dry-cleaned
twice a month.

But now it's fully detachable.

See?

They say our tree may never grow back.
But one day something will.

These crackles
are made of synthetic goose

and these giblets
come from artificial squab.

Even these apples look fake.
But at least they've got stars on them.

My point is, we'll eat tonight,
and we'll eat together.

And even in this
not particularly flattering light,

you are without a doubt the 51/2
most wonderful wild animals

I've ever met in my life.

So let's raise our boxes.

To our survival.

(ALL SLURPING)

How was that?

Mmm.

That was a good toast.

(LETHER DANCE PLAYING)

Well, there she goes
with a brand new love affair

Dancing with him
like she don't even care

Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long

Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance

Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, dance, dance

Well, who would have known
that just yesterday

She danced with me the very same way

Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long

Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance

Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, dance, dance

Well, let her dance with him all night long

Let her dance to our favorite song

Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long

Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, let her dance

Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, dance

Well, I'll find me a new love
And then she'll see

Someone else will be dancing with me

Let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long

Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, let her dance

Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance, let her dance

Well, let her dance with him all night long

Let her dance to our favorite song

Well, let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long

Let her dance, let her dance
Dance, dance

Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance with him

Well, let her dance with him all night long

Let her dance to our favorite song

Let her dance with him
Let her dance all night long

Let her dance, let her dance
Let her dance, let her dance

Dance, dance, dance, dance
Let her dance, let her dance

Let her dance, dance, dance

(PETEY'S SONG PLAYING)

English - US - SDH