All language subtitles for Neal n Nikki (2005)

Blue-41.

Set. Hut, hut, hut.

Hi, I'm Neal, a typical Indian guy.

But there's nothing typically Indian
about me.

I've never even been to India.

Dad was an oat farmer there.

But now...

he raises horses.

After settling in Canada,
Dad brought Mom over from Punjab.

The result of their 25 years of hard work
is not me.

It's Albert, their horse.

You always fawn over pretty women.

You completely forget about me.

I make tea, I cook the meals,
but they get the kisses.

Don't be ridiculous. When did you ever
cook anything for the horse?

Let's take a picture.

Don't touch me.

Mom and Dad are so cute.
They can't live without each other,

yet, when they're together,
they always bicker.

Unfortunately, they are both very happy.

And now they want to see me happy.

They want me to get married.

Me. The Neal.

Don't get me wrong,
girls aren't a problem.

-Neal, he rocks...
-They love me.

...and he's the one to score.

You thought you've seen the best,
but he's here to show you more.

N-E-A-L. Go, Neal!

They let the whole world know

that they're crazy about me.

I'm kidding.

Girls aren't that crazy.

It's not that I don't want to get married,

but you need the right kind of girl,

not a domesticated,
homey type, you know?

I've told Mom, I'm the athletic type.

I like football.

Then I have the perfect girl.

She's sporty and athletic,
just like you.

Hi. I'm Minni.

Want to play?

If I never have kids,
it'll be thanks to Minni.

Neal, look who's here.

Your daddy's best friend,
Uncle Harpreet,

and Aunt Cherry,
and their daughter Katrina.

Nice.

Hello.

How you doing?

Okay, what's wrong with her?

She's pretty.
Forget about pretty, she's hot.

What are you saying, Neal?

Mom and Dad actually got it right?

Damn, I wish this was as simple
as buying a car.

At least when you buy a car,
you can test drive it.

You can check how to handle it,
its power, how smooth it is.

Can it handle curves?

Did you say something?

Would you like to go for a drive?

-I'd love to.
-Great.

Harpreet, come on.

Let me show you my horse.

He's won every award.

He's so proud of him.
He's always praising him.

Why shouldn't I be? You can recognize
his breeding in everything he does.

He makes the Punjabi name proud.

You go, girl.

What is it?

He's a little big, but don't worry.

-What?
-Mommy.

Oh, my God.

Hello.

This is Gyaniji.
His job is to impart wisdom,

but I'm the only one
he seems to impart it to.

And I have to listen
because in our house

Gyaniji is second only to Babaji.

Half of Mom's sentences start with,
"Gyaniji was saying..."

I was saying there's no need to worry.

And this is Gyaniji's son, Happy.

Sardar with a guitar,
who wants to be a rock star.

Gyaniji, what should I do?

Start the marriage preparations.
The girl for Neal will come from Bathinda.

A pretty girl

From Bathinda

Dressed in pink

With silver sequined shoes

Her flowing tresses

Make the fields go wild

She's loved by God

She's loved by all

Her face is sweet
Her soul is sweet

Everyone calls her Sweety

Neal, what are you doing?

I can't believe you're getting married.

Haven't you been listening to me?

Marriage is not a good thing.
Do we look like happy guys?

Look what his wife has done to him.

He's got to wear tight clothes
all the time.

As soon as I got married,
my life was over.

After this you're pretty much done.

Why did you agree to the wedding?

Some girl from Bathinda?
You've never even met her.

Stop panicking, guys, relax.

I decided a long time ago
that I would have an arranged marriage.

Why?

Have you seen my girlfriends?

Would you marry any of them?

It's simple, dude.

I don't trust my choice in women.

That's why I agreed to marry Sweety.

Dad, in a few days I'll be married
and my life will change forever.

And you know what's next.

I want to spend the next 21 days
in Vancouver.

You know, big city, lots of fun.

Dad, I just want to have some fun.

Neal, why do you think that
married men don't have fun?

Dad, are you having fun?

Go, son, go.

-You sure?
-Sure.

-Dad!
-Yeah! Yup!

Hello, Vancouver!

Vancouver, here I come.

Oh, God, this guy is so lovelorn

Gosh, he fails to
Understand this norm

That it takes a little time
For hearts to grow fond

Love takes time to bond

God, this guy is so lovelorn

Gosh, he fails to
Understand this norm

That it takes a little time
For hearts to grow fond

Love takes time to bond

Oh, God, this guy is so lovelorn

So here's the plan,

I have 21 days.

Over the next 21 days,
I'm going to meet 21 girls.

So, who's going to be the number 1?

Yeah. I'm almost there. Just chill.

I'm sorry.
I didn't realize this cab was taken.

I am running so late, can I please
have this cab? I'll do anything.

Anything?

-Where do you have to go?
-Robson and 12th.

-Really.
-Yeah?

'Cause I'm going to Robson and 13th.

So can I share this cab with you?

Yeah, sure.

Thank you so much.

Any time.

-Papaji, Robson and 12th please.
-Sure.

-Thanks.
-You're welcome.

My phone.

There's my phone.

So aren't you going to ask me out?

-Will you say yes?
-Yeah.

Will you have dinner with me?

No, but how about a drink tonight?
7:30 at the Beach House?

Yeah.

All right. Oh, and, by the way,
there is no Robson and 13th.

-There isn't?
-No.

See you tonight.

Wow. You sure have
a way with women.

-Do you know who she is?
-Who is she?

Check that out.

Waiter. Waiter.

-You're talking to me?
-Yeah.

I need a corkscrew.

I'm not a waiter.

Liar.

Liar. Liar.

Look, I'm not a waiter.
I'm just Neal.

Hi, Neal.

You're hiding it, aren't you?

-There.
-Excuse me?

-Don't lie.
-I'm not lying.

-Give it to me.
-Give what?

-Just give it to me.
-Give what?

Just give me the corkscrew.

What are you doing?

Give it to me.

You're cute, but you talk too much.

Give it to me.

Having fun?

-Carry on. Don't let me stop you.
-Okay.

Oh, my God, do you know
what you have done?

Get your hands off.

Do you know who she is?

I was on a date.

Hey, excuse me, hello,
I'm really sorry.

This girl was just trying to
get her hands into my pants.

I mean, she was looking for a corkscrew.
She thought I was a waiter.

Don't worry about it, just forget it.
Let's start over.

-Sure.
-I'm Kristy.

Hi, Kristy. I'm Neal.

And how about that glass of red wine?

Coming right up.

Hello? Excuse me?
Can someone get me a drink, please?

Bartender?

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I work here.

Then what were you doing outside?

I was on a break, dumb waiter.

Anyway, may I get two red wines please?

Sure.

How much?

-It's on me.
-Thanks.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

-Have you been drinking?
-No.

-I just saw you. You're fired.
-You can't fire me.

-Why not?
-Because I quit.

-Hey, Kristy, here you go.
-Thanks.

So, you look like you can dance.

Yeah, well, I have a couple of moves.

Aren't you going to ask me dance?

Yeah.

No anklets on my feet

No bangles in my wrists

I'm still searching for the one

No kohl on my eyes

No bindi on my forehead

I'm still looking
For my lover's alley

Whoa, I want to show my body

Groove the night away

My heart just wants
To find its love

Let's swing

Let's dance

Let's sing, let's prance

Let's swing

Let's dance

Let's sing, let's prance

Just clap, clap

I don't know who these eyes

Are searching for

I don't know who these eyes

Are searching for

For who I will break
The world's traditions

Who fulfills his vows
And completes his promises

I want to meet him
Even if my heart bursts open

I won't be in control
He'll lose control too

Whoa, I want to show my body

Groove the night away

My heart just wants to find its love

Let's swing

Let's dance

Let's sing, let's prance

Nice song, huh?

It's pretty interesting,
but I don't really understand the words.

You know, I make some pretty
awesome music, too.

-Really?
-You wanna hear?

I'd love to

Great, let's bounce.

I think I see my love

Somewhere here

I think I see my love

Somewhere here

For my love
I'd cross all my limits

I'd pledge my life completely to him

I want to say
He's my treasure

If he hugged me now
I'd die happy

Whoa, I want to show my body

Groove the night away

My heart just wants
To find its love

Let's swing

Let's dance

Let's sing, let's prance

Let's swing

Let's dance

Let's sing, let's prance

Let's swing

Let's dance

Take me home.

What?

Take me home.

Hey, guys, the band will be back shortly.

Until then,
enjoy the drinks and the groove.

Taxi! Taxi!

Girls just want to have fun

God, where's a taxi when you need one?

Anyone? Taxi.

One second.

Hey come on, let's get out of here.

-No.
-Why?

-Carry me.
-What?

Take me in your arms.

My fiancée and I need a room.

Cheap or best?

What?

The room. Full night, half night,
half hour, five minutes?

Half hour. Cheap room.

Fourth floor.

Thank you.

Girls just want to have fun

Let's swing, let's dance

Let's sing, let's prance

Come here, you.

Hello.

Who's this?

This is Neal. Who's this?

Where's the girl
who the phone belongs to?

She's kind of sleeping.

Who's this?

Where?

Thorny Rhino. Who's this?

What?

It's the Thorny Rhino in downtown...
Who's this?

Hello? Hello?

Strange.

Freeze!

All right, so she's not pressing charges.

-You're free to go.
-Hey, baby.

But stay out of trouble.

And stay out of the Thorny Rhino.

I'm not here to cause any trouble.

I'm just... here to see the sights.

Weird. Okay, you bad little thing, you.

I know what you're looking at.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay, people look
at them all the time.

They do?

Well, yeah. They think they're cute.

What do you think?

Yeah, they're really nice.

Do you want to know their names?

Oh, my God, they have names?

Yeah, sure. I'd love to know their names.

Okay, this one is Teeni
and this one is Beenie.

I'm trying to help save the whales.

And Teeni and Beenie are my whales.

You know what?

I spent last summer in Africa
doing the same thing.

Trying to save the whales.

-Really?
-Yes.

Wow.

Okay, there are no whales in Africa.

I know. I couldn't save them.

Oh, no! I'm so sorry, you poor baby.

I know this really great place.

You can actually view the whales
in their natural habitat.

-Do you want to come?
-Yes.

-Really?
-Yes.

-Okay, come on, let's go
-Let's go.

You can see the whales
if we swim just past that island.

And the water, it's going to be
little bit cold, but don't worry.

Once you jump in, your body heat
is going to heat it up.

It makes it nice and hot.

It's kind of nice.

I can't believe it. It's been so long
since I've brought anybody else out here.

-You ready?
-Yeah.

-Are you excited?
-Totally.

I'm so excited!

Aren't you coming in?

-Hello?
-Is this Neal?

Yes.

Are you the idiot who took me
to the hotel last night?

Yes. I mean, no.

Did you take me
to the Thorny Rhino or not?

Yes, but... I mean, no...

So you weren't the naked guy
with me in the hotel room?

No. I mean, yes. I mean, no.

Neal, I'm getting cold.
Are you coming in?

Oh, my God. Are you in hotel room
with a naked girl right now?

Yes. I mean, no.

What a creep!

Meet me in half an hour
at the Bayview Bar.

I want to know what you did
with me last night.

I haven't pressed charges yet,

but if you don't show up,
I will personally come and cut off your...

I'll be there.

May I help you?

You're fired.

-You can't fire me.
-Why not?

'Cause I quit.

Hi, I'm Neal.

Nothing happened last night.
It's a misunderstanding,

In fact, I was on a date,
you were drunk

and you came on to me and...

What?

-I went to a hotel with you?
-Yes.

How drunk was I?

What do you mean?

Never mind.
Why did you take me to a hotel?

Because you said, "Take me home."

Home, not the Thorny Rhino!

If my friend hadn't called last night,
what would have happened?

-But nothing happened.
-I know.

Good, then I'm glad this is
all cleared up.

-I'm out of here.
-No, sit.

There's something I don't understand.

Why were you naked?
Did I tell you to take your clothes off?

Yes, I mean, no.

Look, I'm going to count to 10,
and if you don't tell me

what you were doing with me
in that hotel room, I will scream rape.

You don't know me, I'll do it.

One...

Two...

Three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten!

I took shower, when I came out,
the towels were next to you.

Why?

The hotel staff must have put them there.

No, stupid, why did you take a shower?

Because I wanted to. I don't believe this.

Do you really think I want to be
anywhere near a desperate, alcoholic

crazy, stupid, dumb bimbo,
who thinks that she can get a date

by saying, "Give me a corkscrew"? Dude!

Dude.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...

My boyfriend left me.

He dumped me.

I should go.

Do you know why he left me?

No, but you're going to tell me.

I don't even know.

I miss him. I hate him. Bastard.

I don't know why,
but I miss being in love.

But it's over.

I know it must be tough, but
drinking isn't going to bring him back.

No wonder your boyfriend left you.

Nikita Bakshi.

Guinness Towers, please.

-Hey, Kristy.
-Hey.

I've really missed you.
Where have you been?

I've been trying to reach you,
but I don't have your number.

Do you want it?

Yeah. Great.

It's 5-5-5...

Yeah, 5-5-5... 5-5-5, yeah?

You are gross.

Oh, that.

Cab driver, please go.

No, please don't.
Please, you were saying, 5-5-5?

Just go.

Don't go!

My doggy's name is Bimbo.

Bimbo.

Cool. Chick pad.

"Dear Mom and Dad."

My doggy's name is...

I know. Bimbo.

Good morning, Vancouver.

We have some showers outside,

but I promise you it's going
to be a bright, sunny day.

I miss you during the day

Come to me my darling

Can not sleep during the night

Come to me darling

Give it to me darling

Excuse me. Are you connected?

Yeah.

May I check my email?

Sure.

Hi, I'm Karen.

Hi, I'm Neal.

Hi, Neal. Nice to meet you.

You really like to dress up
for coffee, don't you?

I've just run away from a wedding.

Poor groom.

Not mine, silly. It wasn't my wedding.

Interesting pictures.

That. Actually, I met her at a party.

I spoke to her for a few minutes.
She just emailed me her photos.

It must be difficult,
being so popular with the girls.

What to do?

Ever since I came to Vancouver,
girls just can't get enough of me.

-You're new to Vancouver?
-Yes.

I know a girl who's just your type.

Would you like her number?

Sure. Why not?

Great.

Are you looking for a pen?

What's that?

-Me.
-"Me" smells nice.

Call her. She's awesome.

-Excuse me.
-Yes.

-Read my chest.
-What?

Read my chest, dude.

Absolutely, honey. 5-5-5-2-0-7-2

Thank you.

I liked him.

Hey, Neal.

Hi, awesome.

Let's meet tonight at 7:00.
Pacific Center. Don't be late.

I just love tennis.

Want to play?

No. It's more fun watching.

You know, the power,
the swing, the energy...

And the miniskirts?

Actually, it's only the miniskirts.

Shall we go?

Aren't you going to have a shower?

Why? You don't like me
all hot and sweaty?

No, I thought I'd join you.

Hey, Nikki. Hi.

I want you to meet someone special.

My new instructor, Nikki.
She's just joined us

and she plays very well.
Come on.

Neal, this is Nikki.

-Nikki.
-Hi.

-Hi.
-I'm Nicole.

Nicole, Nikki.

-It's so nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

-May I?
-Yeah.

Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, Nikki...

-Shall we go?
-Yeah.

-Neal.
-Yeah. Okay.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Nikki.

You know, sometimes I feel like
I should quit law to play tennis.

I just love that sport.

The energy, the physical exercise
and the power.

I'm good at it, you know, and I...

What?

Nothing.

Come on, why are you smiling like that?

I just played strip poker
with you in my mind,

and you lost.

Impossible.

That wouldn't happen, I never lose.

Never?

I only lose when I want to lose.

I like to be in control.

So what makes you lose control?

You.

Neal? It's me, Nikki. Hi!

I've been looking all over for you.

That night when you helped me
at the restaurant,

I felt like we really bonded.

I felt like I found a true friend.

-Nikki!
-Yes?

What are you doing here?

It's my new job, you know...

No, I don't want to know,

Can't you see that
I'm doing someone... Something?

What's your problem?
Why are you always at the wrong place?

Why do you always come to the
wrong place at the wrong time?

In 21 days I'm getting married

and I've only come to Vancouver
to get some action.

And this chick was
the easiest action ever.

I didn't mean that.

I could get you some action.

You also supply girls?

I can take you someplace where
you will get as much action as you want.

That's why I came to Vancouver.

That's your first mistake.

The only mistake I made was meeting you.

Meeting me is the best mistake
you ever made.

Really? How?

I can take you to Whistler.

Wow, Whistler, yay! What happens there?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Nikki, you owe me this.

Dude, Whistler is babe heaven.

All the beautiful women
of the world go there.

-Jennifer Lopez.
-Yeah.

-Whistler.
-Yeah?

-Julia Roberts.
-Yes.

Whistler.

-Britney Spears.
-No way.

Yeah way.

Guys go there
when they want to have a good time.

-I didn't know that.
-I can see that.

Very funny.

I can take you there.

Why would you take me there?

I feel sorry for you.

You're getting married.

So you'd take me to Whistler
because you feel bad for me?

I'm a nice girl.

You're not nice, you're crazy.

Yeah. I'm a crazy nice girl

who's going to Whistler to find a new job.

What about this job?

I quit.

Thirty-three, intelligent, lawyer,
divorced and disturbed, hates men.

I have no chance with her.

What are you doing?

-See her?
-Yes.

What do you think she does?

-I don't know.
-Go on, guess.

Okay, I think she's a social worker

who works in an orphanage.

She likes to play with the kids.

She looks kind, gentle,
loving, you know? Sweet.

No, stripper.

-No.
-Yeah.

-Really?
-Yes.

You can tell what a girl does
just by looking at her?

And I can predict if she will, you know...

-Really?
-Yes.

Okay, do me.

Here? Now?

No, stupid. Analyze me.

Okay. Rich parents, only child.

Your parents sheltered you.

You do what you want because

you know your parents will be
there to look after you.

But now you feel you can't do
anything on your own.

You've become too dependent.

That's why you've asked your parents
for a year alone in the city

to prove that you're independent,
you can take care of yourself,

and can make your own decisions
because you're a grownup now.

Oh, my God, you got all that
just by looking at me?

No, I read the email
you wrote to your mom and dad.

What?

Oh, yeah, and you're a virgin.

I... No, I'm not!

I'm not a virgin.

Refusing to admit it. Denial. First sign.

I'm so not a virgin.

Second sign, body language.
Nobody come near me.

You don't know anything.
I'm not a virgin.

I've done it. I mean...
I've done it lots of times.

-Really?
-Yeah.

-What does it feel like?
-Kickass.

-Kickass.
-Yeah.

Haven't done it, huh?

No. But I choose not to.

That's why your boyfriend
chose to dump you.

That's none of your business.

Who do you think you are?

You think you know me now?

You don't know anything.

Hey, no need to get angry.
It's your decision. Live with it.

-I am living with it.
-Good.

I don't even know
if I did the right thing or not.

It's so confusing. Sometimes I think
I should have with Trish.

You know, I should have
just done it with him.

Maybe he was the special one.

The special one. Part of this
complete nutritious breakfast.

Go ahead, make fun of me.

No, I'm not going to.

You did the right thing.

The first time should be
with someone special.

-Do you know why?
-Why?

Because you never forget your first time.

And if the first time is with an idiot,

you'll have to remember that idiot
for the rest of your life.

-And you?
-What about me?

Who was your idiot?

Excuse me.

Your first time? Was it special?

Why would I tell you?

Why not? Who was she?

I'm not going to tell you.

I know! You paid for it.
You must have given her money.

-No, I did not.
-Did too.

-Did not.
-Did too.

Did not.

I was four years old when

I fell in love for the first time

We looked at each other

And fell in a rhyme

I'm as cool now as I was then

I'm as supercool now as I was then

Hey, I'm the Neal
I'm the man

Rock star, superstar

Hey, I'm the Neal
I'm the man

Rock star, superstar

Okay, so, what about you?
What's your story, girl?

Well...

I gave my heart away

Without knowing
It began to sway

I was nine when I saw him on TV

George Michael was his name

That singer? He's gay.

You know he swings the other way?

-What?
-Yeah.

I was really young, and anyways...

I knew that on his horse
My prince would come

And softly in my ear
He would hum

Nikki Bakshi, she's sweet and sexy

Full on rocking
Hot and happening

Nikki Bakshi, she's sweet and sexy

Full on rocking
Hot and happening

Two ones are two
Two twos are four

When I used to calculate
I loved her more

She taught Algebra in school

In my dreams she made me drool

What? You had the hots
for your teacher? Weirdo.

Every girl in the world is my fan

Non-stop loving is
The story of this man

I'm the Neal
I'm the man

Rock star, superstar

I'm the Neal
I'm the man

Rock star, superstar

Thirteen, fourteen
Boys were so boring

Fifteen, sixteen

You were boring.

Please, grow up.

For a glimpse of me
They used to stand in a line

For my love they all pined

In my dreams my sweetheart stays

He comes to me at night and says

Nikki Bakshi, sweet and sexy

Full on rocking
Hot and happening

Nikki Bakshi, sweet and sexy

Full on rocking
Hot and happening

If we had met back then

We could have hooked up

Nah.

We would never work

Our pairing doesn't work

I'm as cool now as I was then

I'm as supercool now as I was then

I know, I know.

You're the Neal
You're the man

Rock star, superstar

You're the Neal
You're the man

Rock star, superstar

Nikki Bakshi, sweet and sexy

Full on rocking
Hot and happening

Nikki Bakshi, sweet and sexy

Full on rocking
Hot and happening

Stupid, idiot, jerk, slime ball.

-Why have we stopped?
-Cockroach, creep!

-Who does he think he is?
-Who?

Him. My boyfriend.

The truck driver is your boyfriend?

Not him.

-Him.
-He's kind of big.

Who does he think he is?

Just because his face
is on every billboard

and box of cornflakes
he thinks he can dump me?

He'll never meet
another girl like me. Never!

-Understand?
-That's true.

He's not dumped me,
he's dumped true love.

You and Amanda can go to hell.

Who's Amanda?

The witch Trish left me for.

Good job.

What didn't I do for him?

I even took cooking classes for him.

How sweet.

Okay, so I almost killed him.

Is it my fault he's allergic to onions?

I mean, who's allergic to onions?

I'm allergic to prawns.

It's not about you,
it's about me.

I'm so over him.

Good for you.

I've totally forgotten Trish.

Good.

If someone were to ask me about Trish,
I'd say "Trish who?"

Very good.

-God, it feels so good.
-Good.

-Neal, hold me.
-What?

Take me in your arms. Just hold me.

Nikki, I know you're getting over
from this Trish thing,

-but I don't think you and I...
-Neal.

I only want you to just hold me.

Okay, Nikki, I think you need to relax.

What part of "hold me"
don't you understand, asshole?

I don't want to hold you.
Everyone is watching.

Hey, isn't that your boyfriend, Trish?

Who? Where?

There.

You horrible, evil, manipulative little...

I can explain.

This is why you brought me to Whistler?
To make your boyfriend jealous?

I can't believe I fell for this.

Actually, it was quite easy.

So, since you're here, just hold me.

My God, that poor guy doesn't know
what's about to hit him.

You know what,
I'm going to tell him everything.

-I'll tell him to run for his life.
-No.

I'm gonna tell every guy I see
to stay away from you.

Trish!

Hey, Trish!

Why are you behaving like a girl?

You used me.

It was just a kiss.

Just a kiss?

Before kissing something needs
to exist between people.

Some sort of relationship.

A kiss is the meeting of two spirits,
two souls, two minds.

For God's sake, I didn't rape you.

You did worse. You conned me.

-I needed your help.
-You should have asked.

-Would you have helped me?
-No.

-Neal.
-Don't do that.

Don't do what?

"Neal." Don't get cute with me.
It won't work.

So what will?

Nothing. Nothing'll work.

What if I get you a girl?

Excuse me? Did you say
what I think you said?

I'm the Neal. I don't need your help.

I can get any girl I want.

Really? Then why did you
come to Whistler with me?

I... I...

I came to see the sights

Go ahead. Pick a girl.

The girl of your choice.

Fine. I can pick a girl.

That one.

That one?

-Yeah.
-Done.

Neal, meet my friend, Marie.

Nikki's been telling me all about you.

Really, now?

She's easy. You'll get some action.

If what she says is true, then...

Then?

Then we must hang out.
Come by my work

at the crab shack at 7:00,
and we'll get together.

-Cool.
-Okay?

You can stop drooling, she's gone.

What did you tell her?

Do we have a deal?

Deal. What do I have to do?

You have to make me yours.

Cool. Shall we get a room?

Not like that, stupid.
You have to win my heart.

Write me poems praising my beauty

and then sing them to me
like songs of love.

The air will be filled with their melody,
they will echo from the mountains,

rivers and the valleys and
everyone will hum your tunes.

And when you sing, the whole world
will know what true love means.

Are you totally insane?

Who does that?

You expect me to do this?

Don't be silly.

You performing Amitabh Bachchan's songs?
Never. I want you to do this.

I want to make Trish jealous.

I want to make him beg.

When he sees you making
a complete fool of yourself,

he'll come running back to me.

He'll beg me to come back to him.

Men, they have small hearts,

small brains, and small... everything.

Egocentric, possessive morons.

Except you.

Okay, I'll do it, but on one condition.

What?

No more of that kissing stuff, please.

Don't worry.
Nobody kisses in Hindi films.

With your charming ways
With the tunes that you hum

And the way you smile

I'm in love

When we kiss and make up

I don't know why

I'm in love

I've waited forever

Oh, my God, I'm in love

With rejection
With acceptance

And with your every nuance

I'm in love

Unknowingly and strangely

From now to eternity

I'm in love

I've waited forever

Oh, my God, I'm in love

You're my dream
My love, my light

I just wanna spend
My life with you

You're the one that
Makes me smile

I just wanna spend
My life with you

Now that you've filled my dreams

I want stay in this trance forever

I'm here all around you

I'm in your arms with you

Believe me, I'm real

In the day or at night

With everything that
Keeps you in sight

I'm in love

In sunshine and in rain

We meet time and again

I'm in love

I've waited forever

Oh, my God, I'm in love

My darling, let's go

Chase the stars

You're my dream
My love, my light

I just wanna spend
My life with you

You're the one that
Makes me smile

I just wanna spend
My life with you

The color of your eyes
Is the color of the sky

Let me be a cloud in them

You've played with the stars
The moon is your friend

I'll be the cloud that engulfs you

With your charming ways
With the tunes that you hum

And the way you smile

I'm in love

When we kiss and make up

I don't know why

I'm in love

I've waited forever

Oh, my God, I'm in love

I'm in love
I'm in love

You're my dream
My love, my light

I just wanna spend
My life with you

My life with you

I just wanna spend
My life with you

Hey, Nikki.

Trish? Hi!

What are you doing here?

Well, I'm here for a, you know,
an ad shoot

and, well, actually, Nikki.
I'm not going to lie to you.

I came here with Amanda.
We are here for the weekend.

So are we.

This is Neal
and I'm not going to lie to you,

this is my Neal.

Neal, this is an old friend, Trish.

No way. You're Trish?

Yeah, the only one.

I'm like a big fan.
I've seen all your ads.

Especially the underwear one,
that's my favorite.

Get it on
Get going, man

The briefs that make you feel
Like Superman

Trish!

That's my favorite too, you know? Really.

What's he doing?

He speaks French
when he gets really excited.

Hey, why don't you guys come
to my place for the day?

-I don't think we...
-We would love to.

Great. So I'll SMS you
the address with directions.

It's not far, it's like half an hour
from here, but, you know,

the way Nikki drives it might take
you maximum five minutes.

I know what you mean.

So, Neal, it was really
good to meet you.

Oui, it was good to meet you, too.

What are you doing?

Helping you.
You wanted Trish back, right?

Did you notice that he couldn't
lie to you about Amanda?

He still loves you.
That's why he invited us to his house.

Because he likes you, not me.

He was totally indifferent towards me.

I'm going back to Vancouver.

If that's the case,
then why is he checking you out.

-Really? Right now?
-Not now.

Okay, you can look now.

Just keep making him jealous,
he'll come crawling back to you.

You're good.

I'm driving.

Hey, Nikki.

Trish!

Neal, Nikki!

Hey, guys, please come in.

What a cool place
you have here, Trish.

Thank you. The girls seem to like it.

Where's Amanda?

She's upstairs, she's getting ready.

I've put some crab on the barbeque.
It might take a while to get ready.

-You guys want to play a game?
-Yeah.

-What about water volleyball?
-Super.

Great. So we have a guest room
just over there,

you can get changed
and I'll meet you by the pool.

Hey, Nikki, you look different.
Is it a new hair cut?

It's her eyes,
she's tried something new.

You're right, Neal. It's in the eyes.

See you.

How's it going, guys?

Hey, you.

Hi, Amanda.

I just loved the way you sing to Nikki.

I mean, I've never seen
someone so romantic.

I have to tell you it did something to me.

Something deep inside.

I mean, I would do anything for a man
who would sing to me.

Do you want to swap partners?

In water volleyball, silly.

Come on, you should be on my team,
I think it'd be fun.

Let the games begin.

If you a get this next one,
I'll sleep with you.

You're dead, you're gone.

Let's go. Let's go.

I'm coming to get you. You are history.

I'm sorry.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah, of course.
It has swollen up, hasn't it?

Just a little bit.

How big is a little?

Oh, my God. Show me a mirror now!

And you can carry me, Trishi pooh.

Where are you going?

I'm going to kill Neal.

Wait, by the evening
it will slowly go down.

-I'm still going to kill him.
-Wait.

Nobody is going to
notice your nose, I promise you.

Not when they can see
the rest of you.

Do know what was the first thing
I noticed about you?

My eyes?

No, it was your smile.

Your eyes... this was a bonus.

From the many hued clouds
With the kohl from your eyes

I've written your name across my heart

Amanda

Come on. Let's go.

-Now?
-Yes, now.

But I mean, I'm like, you know.

Let's go.

No.

I love you.

No. She's mine.

Okay, tell me now, what happened?

Nothing.

Oh, my God, you did it.
He wants you back, right?

Yup, he loves me and he hates you...

I just hate him. What the hell are you
doing with a guy like him?

Did you hear him when you were singing?
He sounds like a pig.

A pig with a sore throat.

I'm jealous, Nikki. It destroys me inside.

It hurts me so, so bad.
Trishi pooh misses you so much.

I need you again. Please.
Come back in my life. Please.

And Amanda?

Amanda? Finished. Gone.
Over. Hasta la vista, baby.

I told you. I told you so.

Knowing you, you must have melted
and ran right into his arms and said,

"It's so good to have you back,
Trishi pooh."

No. I left him. I dumped him.

What?

-What?
-I don't know. I don't understand French.

But I thought you loved him.

Then why did you dump him?

Because he cheated on me.

The day I found out
he'd been seeing Amanda

when he was with me,
I forgot everything we ever had.

The only thing that upset me
was that I hadn't dumped him first.

At first I thought it was my fault
that he left me for Amanda.

He made me hate me
and then it hit me.

Who's he to dump me?

I should be the one to dump him.

So you did all this to get him back
just to leave him?

-Yup
-Doesn't make sense.

You're a guy, you won't understand.

Nikki Bakshi, you've got guts. I like it.
I hope you let him off easy.

Yeah, you know me, I wouldn't hurt anyone.

I'm harmless.

-Come on, Neal. Let's go.
-Okay!

Where?

It's payback time.

You helped me, now it's my turn.

I'll give you everything you ever wanted.

Nikki Bakshi is going to give you a night
you're going to remember

for the rest of your life.

Wait a minute. What's on your mind?

Why don't you read it?

Why are these people celebrating
Christmas in summer?

Did you see the elves?

Oh, my God. Can I be Santa?

Go ahead, pick an elf.

What's the hurry? We just got here.
Let me check them out.

Can I get a red wine, please?

Of course. Here you go.

-Thank you.
-Hey, you want to dance?

Sure.

Bye.

Come on, show it to me.

Oh, no. I'm going to beat that.

-What are you playing?
-Strip poker.

The loser has to take
a piece of clothing off.

I'm going to show it to you now.

Read them and weep.

As you can see, I'm winning.

Excellent, girls. Excellent, excellent.

-I want to play, too.
-What?

Yes, I want to play, too.

Guys, can I play?

For sure, girl.

For sure you can play.

I'll do anything to get you to play.

You're not playing.

Come on, man. Look at her, she's hot.

-Nikki, get up.
-No.

-You can't play.
-Why not?

Because I said so.
This game isn't for you.

Why not? What are you afraid of?

That I'll win, or that I'll lose?

Okay, fine. Deal.

Now it's going to get good.

So, guys, if I lose,
what do I take off first?

Damn, girl, you don't even
want me to answer that.

So how many cards do I deal?

Neal, are you crazy? Don't touch me.

I'm just taking you for a little ride.

Put me down. What are you doing?
I will kick you.

-One second.
-Put me down.

-Here you go.
-Put me down! God!

You're allowed play, but not me?

You have such double standards.
What's your problem?

What's my problem?
What's your problem?

Actually, forget it.
You wouldn't understand. You're a girl.

Neal!

Neal, hey, listen.

I'm sorry. I was just kidding.

Please? Sorry?

You know, when you get angry,
you look just like Scooby-Doo.

Go ahead, pick a girl.

Yes, think of it as a Christmas present
from me.

Pick the best one.

The one who makes you
weak in the knees.

So, Neal, who's the girl who really,
really does it for you?

You.

Why did you do that?

-Because you wanted it too.
-No.

Come on, Nikki. Don't you think
there's something between us?

There's nothing between us.

You're lying. Why are you lying?

Look at the way you give me that look.

What look?

That look. That "come on,
baby, rock my world" look.

Puke. You and me? Never.

You're a jerk who's getting married
in a few days

and you're only here to get some action.

I'm the good girl in the story.

Nothing can happen between us.

-Nothing?
-Nothing.

You didn't feel anything?
You didn't feel the chemistry?

No.

We're both always looking for reasons
to get closer to each other.

Really, you didn't feel anything at all?
Nothing?

Oh, my God. That was amazing.

You can't make me feel this good.

What's wrong with you?

We have to solve this.
We have a problem.

Okay.

-Nothing can happen between us.
-Nothing.

You go that way and I'll go this way.

We'll stay far away from each other.

Yeah, that's a good idea.
Brilliant. Go.

-Okay. You sure?
-Yeah.

Cool.

See you in 100 years.

What have I done?
I spent the night with Neal.

Neal the jerk. Neal the idiot, Neal the...

Wonderful.

Last night was wonderful.
I've never felt so complete.

I don't know if you're feeling
the same way.

This feels so right.

No, you feel right.
Last night felt so right.

Neal, you've lost it.

This is Nikki you're talking about.

The same girl who went
crazy over her ex-boyfriend,

the same girl who wanted
to cut off your...

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

"Good morning"? What does that mean?

Nikki, "good morning" means
that last night meant nothing to him.

You were just another girl.

Idiot, why did you say
"good morning" like that?

Okay, turn around, hold her,

and tell her how wonderful
this morning is.

Why did she get up?

Before she leaves, talk to her.

Nice day, isn't it?

I don't believe this,
we're gonna talk about the weather?

How predictable.

Who wants to talk
about last night?

No one.

Would you like some coffee?

Coffee? What I would like to know is

what you thought of last night,
Mister-Know-It-All?

What I would like to know is

am I one of those girls
you came to Vancouver for?

What I would like to know is
why are you asking me for coffee?

Coffee would be fine.

Coffee? Why did I ask her for coffee?

I don't even make coffee.

Why I didn't meet you before?

-I think...
-Don't even think that.

If you think that I'm going
to drink this coffee,

you must be crazy.

Look at her. She'll be the perfect wife.

Mom would like her too.

Actually, Mom wouldn't like her at all,
but who cares?

Nikki, there's something I want to say.

I knew this was coming. He'll say,

"Nikki, you're very sweet and
last night was very special, but..."

Nikki, you're very sweet and
last night was very special...

Nikki, he's about to dump you,
just like Trish.

Don't let him do it.

Before he dumps you, dump him.

Neal, I know what you're going to say.

What happened last night
happens very rarely.

Wow, Neal, you and Nikki think alike.

The timing is perfect. Propose to her.

Tell her you want to marry her.

Oh, God, how pathetic.
What's he doing on his knees?

Will he beg?
Will he ask me not to tell anyone?

Will he tell me not to expect
anything from him?

Before he hurts you, dump him.

It's okay, get up.

Forget about last night.

It didn't mean anything.

Let's move on, shall we?

Do you want me to drive?

No.

Why, do you want to drive?

No.

Do you want me to drive?

No.

Good.

Great.

Did you want it on?

No.

Good.

Why did we stop?

Guys, can we please
get a ride to Vancouver?

Please.

We've been walking on this road
for so long

and we just really need to get back.

I mean, we're going to lose our jobs
if we don't.

Please.

Can we please get a ride?

Get in.

Can I turn the radio on?

Look at him, he's touching
the poor thing all over.

With her permission,

and she seems to be enjoying it.

I knew the moment I saw him
that he was a scoundrel.

Or she could be the one playing him.

Or he's gonna take advantage of her
and then leave her.

She could stop him,

but it's pretty obvious
that she doesn't want to.

I knew you would think like that.
You guys are all the same.

After you get what you want, you're gone.

It's not always on us.

She must have blinded him
with her sweet talk

so she can have a good time.

She probably has an ex-boyfriend
who dumped her

and she's using this guy
to get even with him.

Get out.

Nikki? Nikki?

What are you doing? Nikki?
Nikki, what's wrong with you?

I'm saying goodbye.

Last night was the biggest mistake
of my life.

Nikki, Nikki, Nikki!
Nikki, listen to me...

You're the idiot I'll have to remember
for the rest of my life.

Get out. Get out.

By God's grace
I've been given an opportunity

to unite two wonderful families.

This is Baldev Raj,

who I've known for a long time.

It's okay, you can stay seated.

This is Sweety's mother,

just in from Bathinda,

and this is her older brother, Kuldeep

who owns this house.

Sister, please call Sweety.

With anklets on her feet

The girl with the creamy complexion
Has arrived

Everyone calls her Sweety

Hello.

Wow, she's beautiful.

Is this your first time in Canada?

No, I used to come
during my summer vacations.

How do you like Canada?

I feel at home.

Sweety, you forgot the cake...

You forgot the cake.

Hello.

This is my daughter, Nikki.

She and Sweety are cousins,
but they're more like sisters.

They share everything.

-Tea?
-No, thanks.

-Cake?
-Yes, please.

-Cake?
-No, thank you.

You, inside.

Nikki?

What are you doing here?

Mom said the boy's name
was Gurneal Ahluwalia.

That would be me.

I'm Gurneal Ahluwallia.

You know, Gur-Neal Ahluwallia.

You know what you have to do, don't you?

I know, I have to change my name.

No, Gur-Neal.

Go outside and tell everyone that
you can't go through with the wedding.

Why? Why would I do that?

Because you don't want
to marry my cousin.

Sit.

I don't want to, or you don't want me to?

I don't give a flying... fudge.

Really? By looking at you
it doesn't seem like it.

It looks like you give
a flying everything.

That's what you think.

You know what I think?

I think I should marry Sweety.

-What?
-Yes.

I kind of like her.

She's the type of girl you marry.

She's not the other type.

What other type?

The type of girl I've met recently.

Don't even go there.

Like that girl... What was her name?

Marie, the witch?

Or that man-eating monster, Karen?

Or that shameless naked girl
who took you to see the whales?

What was her name?

Hey, hey. That's not fair.
You're hitting below the belt

I haven't even started yet.

Hey, where are you going?

I'm going to tell everyone
what you were doing in Vancouver,

or rather who you were doing
in Vancouver.

You wouldn't.

Wouldn't I?

-Mama!
-Nikki, Nikki!

What is it, dear?

Neal has something to say.

I do?

Neal, what's the matter, son?

Nothing. Not at all. Nothing. Nothing,
What happened? Nothing.

Neal wants to marry Sweety,
as soon as possible.

Congratulations!

Marriages are made in heaven.

Congratulations, Gurneal Ahluwallia.

Okay, Nikki Bakshi, I will get married,

but I'll make you dance
on my wedding day.

I've locked eyes
With a beautiful girl

Let's dance, my friend
I've locked eyes with her

Let's rock, my friend
I've locked eyes with her

My love, I'm not going to sleep tonight

Because today our eyes met

Because today our eyes met

Dancing the night because
I've locked eyes with her

The feeling is right because
I've locked eyes with her

Party all night because
I've locked eyes with her

The music's so right because
I've locked eyes with her

Since our eyes met
I'm going to dance with you

With anklets on
I'm going to dance with you

Show me your moves
If you want to dance with me

Get into groove
If you want to dance with me

My love, I'm not going to sleep tonight

Because today our eyes met

Dancing the night because
I've locked eyes with her

The feeling is right because
I've locked eyes with her

The music's so right because
I've locked eyes with her

I'll flutter my eyes in your arms

I'll flutter your heart when I dance

I drive you crazy because
I'm making you yearn

You want me, baby, because
I'm making you yearn

My love, I'm not going to sleep tonight

Because today our eyes met

I've locked eyes with a beautiful girl

Let's dance, my friend
I've locked eyes with her

Let's rock, my friend
I've locked eyes with her

My love, I'm not going to sleep tonight

Because today our eyes met

Dancing the night because
I've locked eyes with her

The feeling is right because
I've locked eyes with her

Party all night because
I've locked eyes with her

The music's so right because
I've locked eyes with her

Corkscrew?

Are you really going to marry her?

Isn't that what you wanted?

Okay, fine. Marry her.

See if I care.

No. I won't.

You won't?

No.

Because I know you won't
let this wedding happen.

Really? Why not?
Why would I stop it?

I know you, Nikki Bakshi.

You couldn't even watch me
dance with Sweety,

how will you let me marry her?

I hate you, Gurneal Ahluwallia,
I hate you!

-Hello, welcome.
-Hello.

-Congratulations.
-You, too.

Here I am, and where are you?

You must be bringing the pooja platter.
That's where she is.

Aunty, where's Nikki?

I don't know.
We haven't seen her since this morning.

Nikki, where are you?

-Hello.
-Hi, how are you doing?

Guys, listen, I need to talk to you
about something very important.

We've got it all planned out, Neal.

In about a week
this whole drama will turn into...

What drama?

If you run out of your own engagement,
there's obviously going to be some drama.

Who is going to run?

You, of course. We couldn't do it,
but now you can do it.

Here's the tickets.

And the car is waiting out back.

I'm not running anywhere,
I'm looking for Nikki.

-Thank you.
-Nikki?

Who's Nikki?

Nikki, my Nikki.
The girl I'm getting married to.

Her name is Sweety, not Nikki.

-No, dude, you're not getting it.
-I get it.

He's lost it. He's hysterical.
He can't think straight anymore.

Maybe his suit is too tight.

Sometimes I can't think straight
when I'm wearing tight clothes.

-You're always wearing tight clothes.
-Exactly.

Guys, focus. Look for Nikki.

Neal, what are you doing standing here?

We're all waiting for you.
Come, son, come.

I need to check on the preparations.

Aunty, has Nikki arrived?

No, not yet
I don't know where she is.

Welcome, everyone.

We are gathered here today for
Satwinder Kaur and Gurneal Ahluwallia's

engagement ceremony

May God shower blessings upon them.

They'll now exchange the engagement rings.

No, thanks.

This is not good.
Where are you, Nikki?

I'm going to get engaged.

Is that an engagement ring?

Yes, son.

When it's put on someone's finger,
it means you're engaged?

Good, son. You're clear on the concept.

And after the engagement,
it's the wedding?

Yes, of course.

One second.

Have you seen Nikki?

Nikki? No.

Okay. Go back.

It's mine. Hello?

Are you the jerk who slept with me
and is now marrying my cousin?

Yes.

I'm the jerk who's marrying your cousin.

So you're not going to stop
this engagement?

No, and if you don't want
this engagement to happen,

you know what you have to do.

Yes, Gyaniji, where were we?

She's here.

My love Raanjhanaa

O my love

My darling

This engagement can't happen.

Happy, what's going on?

I'm not going to allow this
engagement to happen.

I love Sweety.

I've loved her since we were kids.

We've even exchanged vows
over the Internet.

I can't live without her.

Sweety!

Happy!

What's going on?

Sweety and Neal's marriage is confirmed.

I know, Father, that you don't want me
to marry Sweety.

You're always saying
that Sweety is too clever,

that she'd make a mouse out of me,

but that she's perfect for Neal.

Gyaniji?

But I don't believe it.
Do I look like a mouse?

Sweety, hold this please.

Neal, brother, I'm a lover, not a fighter,

but I'm ready to fight for Sweety.

Put 'em up. Put 'em up, brother.

Happy, you can't marry Sweety.

No, she's all yours, dude.

I don't want to marry Sweety.
Sweety is all yours. Enjoy.

-Thanks, Neal brother.
-You're welcome.

-Let's go, Sweety.
-Bye.

Happy, listen to me.
You can't marry Sweety.

Dressed in pink
And silver sequined shoes

Come with me to the fair

Pick a line?

What?

Any line.

What do you mean?

When a boy asks a girl
for her hand in marriage,

he needs to pick a line,
so what's your line?

Nikki Bakshi, will you marry me?

That's your line?

What part of falling in love
don't you understand, jerk?

I've never met such a stupid, idiotic boy!

Remember that morning?
It was such a special morning,

but did you say,
"I love you, Nikki baby"?

No. You asked me do I want coffee?

I don't want coffee. I don't like coffee.
I don't even drink...

You know what your problem is?

You're a 13-year-old spoiled brat
who will always be 13.

And I'm the only one who can tolerate you

because I'm a 14-year-old brat
who will always be 14.

And that's why, you fool,
we're perfect for each other.

I want to be part
of every part of your life.

So now tell me, Nikki Bakshi,
will you marry me?

First promise me that
whenever I get emotional,

you'll take care of me?

Promise.

Promise me that whenever I get confused,
you will make me underrated?

Promise.

Promise me that you will always love me
the way you love me right now?

Promise.

Promise me that you'll
never look at other girls?

Okay, where are we going now?

Okay, ask me.

What?

Just do it.

Nikki Bakshi, will you marry me?

Yes.

Cool, so... shall we kiss?

No.

Good. I didn't really want to.

-Good.
-Good.

-Fine.
-Fine, see you at the wedding then.

-Okay.
-Bye.

Bye.

Yoo-hoo, waiter!

I'm not a waiter.

Why were you naked?

Because I felt like it.

I felt like I found a true friend.

Can't you see I'm doing someone?

I could get you some action.

Now you supply girls as well.

Oh, yeah, and you're a virgin.

No, I'm not! I've done it lots of times.

Don't you think we keep looking for
reasons to get close to each other?

Nothing can happen between us.

And now you are that idiot that
I have to remember all my life.

Nikki Bakshi, will you marry me?

I hate you, Gur-Neal Ahluwallia.
I hate you.