Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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This is a story about a boat,
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00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,119
a boat that washed up on a beach
and changed a lot of lives,
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like for a woman called Janet...
Janet! ..and Samuel.
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00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,679
My name's Samuel.
Hi...Samuel.
5
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,999
And him... What you dinky doing,
you?
6
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,879
..and her...
Pat Tooh with an H.
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00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,879
..and him... Ben.
8
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,439
You don't know me...
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00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,239
..and this one. Le Tailleur.
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00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,080
And also this guy...
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00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,759
He's not much of a talker.
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00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,760
STATIC HISS
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00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,920
CROW CAWS
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00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:49,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:57,400
Argh!
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00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:08,560
Now, some stories start a long,
long time ago.
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00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:14,479
Some stories start
in a deep, dark wood.
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00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,679
Some stories start in a galaxy
far, far away.
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00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,079
But this story starts here,
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00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:25,320
under a damn pylon, with a severed
head, of all things.
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00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,400
Shall we begin?
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00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,480
MOPED ENGINE
23
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:45,479
Let's go back in time
to the small town of Applebury.
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00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,279
Not the kind of place
people die to go to,
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00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,800
more the kind where people
go to die.
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00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,919
It starts one morning,
a Thursday, I think,
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00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,199
under smokestacks on a lonely
country road.
28
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,719
A woman with blue in her hair
driving towards a Thursday...
29
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,799
METALLIC CLUNK
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00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,000
..unlike any other
Thursday she'd experienced.
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00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,600
WHISTLING
32
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,200
TUNELESS WHISTLING CONTINUES
33
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:37,239
Keith, do you mind?
It's like one of the Seven Dwarfs
had a fucking brain injury.
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00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,999
I'm five-foot-seven.
Perfectly good height for a man.
35
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,599
Anyhow, I don't claim to be musical.
That's my brother. Hey!
36
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,960
He does... Less chat, come on,
we've got quotas here.
37
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,120
Nigel! Shut it down,
there's a jam!
38
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,560
Hang on.
39
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,200
Yeah? Well, tell Maggie to...
40
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:24,159
Nah. We'll have to get
someone from maintenance here.
41
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,799
FAINTLY: It's stuck, I can't get it
to work and I can't...
42
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,599
OK, clear!
43
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,959
SCREAMS
44
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,000
Nige! Argh!
45
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,760
MACHINERY STOPS
46
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,960
Worst Thursday ever.
47
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,080
WAVES CRASHING
48
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,920
FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO
49
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,240
SIREN
50
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,559
LOUDSPEAKER: Please switch off your
engine, so we can board your vessel!
51
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,720
Merde!
52
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,119
Bonsoir.
53
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,240
Do you mind tying that down for us?
54
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,160
Bit nasty out, eh? I've seen worse.
55
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,359
Mind if I take a look around?
56
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,199
May I ask why?
57
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,880
Take a quick look around,
then I'll be out your minge.
58
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,440
Mackerel.
59
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,999
Yeah, a whole lot of mackerel.
60
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,800
It was a good haul.
61
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,080
And...not mackerel.
62
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,959
Come on, then.
63
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,000
GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING
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00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,200
FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO
65
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,000
Argh!
66
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,080
Fucking get up!
67
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,720
MUSIC CONTINUES
68
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,239
You fucking done? Fucking get up!
69
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,439
Fucking get up!
70
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,560
YELLING AND GRUNTING
71
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,400
Urgh! Urgh!
72
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,840
CLUNK
73
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,480
JAUNTY FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES
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00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,240
THUNDER RUMBLES
75
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,439
# Anything you can do,
I can do better... #
76
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,279
Hiya.
77
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,919
Evening.
78
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:30,719
# No, you can't
Yes, I can
79
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,599
# No, you can't
Yes, I can. Yes, I can.
80
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,319
# Anything you can be,
I can be greater
81
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,519
# Sooner or later,
I'm greater than you
82
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,039
# No, you're not
Yes, I am
83
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,879
# No, you're not
Yes, I am
84
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,199
# No, you're not
Yes, I am. Yes, I am!
85
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,999
# I can shoot a partridge
with a single cartridge
86
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,839
# I can get a sparrow
with a bow and arrow
87
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,279
# I can live on
bread and cheese... #
Right...
88
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,079
# And only on that? Yes.
So can a rat
89
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,439
# Any note you can reach,
I can go higher
90
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,239
# I can sing anything
higher than you
91
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,679
# No, you can't
Yes, I can
92
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,119
# No, you can't
Yes, I can
93
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,919
# No, you can't
Yes, I can. Yes, I can.
94
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,559
# Anything you can say,
I can say faster
95
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,519
# I can say anything faster than you
96
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,559
# No, you can't
Yes, I can
97
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:12,599
# No, you can't
Yes, I can
98
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,959
# No, you can't
Yes, I can
99
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,000
# No, you can't
Yes, I can... #
100
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,919
You could just buy it, you know,
love? You can buy them?!
101
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,039
I didn't win it at a fair that
only exists for people who can sell
them on at fairs.
102
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,679
See, how it works is
I buy the stuffed animals,
103
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:32,199
and then in this stall, people come
and they play and they win...
104
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,239
No, I get that. I were just...
105
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,959
Doesn't matter.
106
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,679
I'm out of money anyway.
That were my budget for the week.
107
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,439
But it's not your problem.
Thanks. Thanks, anyway.
108
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,759
Tell you what, Annie Oakley.
109
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,200
You've practically bought it
already, amount you've slapped down.
110
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,439
Here you go, pet.
111
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,079
Are you sure?
112
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,799
Piece of advice.
Don't let it shit on the floor
and definitely don't kiss it,
113
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,880
or it turns into a
22-stone fuckhead.
114
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,400
Ta.
115
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,280
KIDS SCREAM
116
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,560
KIDS LAUGH
117
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,239
CROAKY VOICE: Alan...
118
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,799
Alan!
119
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,199
Ribbit, ribbit... No way!
Hiya, love.
120
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,519
You finally won the beast!
Only took eight years.
121
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,199
The approximate lifespan
of the West European hedgehog.
122
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,599
Just don't kiss him, or he turns
into a 20-stone fuckhead. Ah!
123
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,679
Sorry. How did you do it?
124
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,199
RUSSIAN ACCENT: I am Russian spy.
You know this.
125
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:21,079
Ah, right.
My hand, it become rocket launcher,
I shoot the cans at a local fair
126
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,919
and job done, as they say.
Shush, don't tell anybody.
127
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,639
You silly woman.
128
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,119
New hand looks good.
129
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,960
No, it doesn't.
But thanks, anyway.
130
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,759
You all right? Yeah. I'll be fine,
they'll see me right.
131
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,559
Janet, Janet...
132
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,199
Dearie me.
133
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,039
Bit of a coincidence seeing
you here, isn't it?
134
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:45,159
No, I was out with a friend
actually. So... Yeah.
135
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,439
Where is she, then?
She's, erm...
136
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:52,919
Oh, yes, she's over there.
She's on one of the...
She's on the slide.
137
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:57,639
No... Oh, no, she's not.
Maybe she... Hot-dogs. Candyfloss,
or something like that...
138
00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,599
She loves candyfloss.
You can't keep doing this.
139
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,719
I don't want to get into
restraining orders, but...
140
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,439
This is not your life now.
141
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:10,320
Maybe you'd be happier
if you let Jesus into your world.
142
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:12,760
Like I did.
143
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,839
Let's go.
144
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,999
We're praying for you, Jenny.
145
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,640
It's Janet. You know it's Janet...
146
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,879
She knew full well it was Janet.
147
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,800
She was just fucking with her.
148
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:34,640
Sorry.
149
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,399
Would you like your fortune read,
darling?
150
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,320
I think it's best I don't.
151
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,319
They say fortune favours the brave.
152
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,840
But sometimes, even the bravest
souls get left behind.
153
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,919
That's the thing about life, see?
154
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,919
Some frogs never do get kissed.
155
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,680
Some fairy tales never
get their ending.
156
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,759
But sometimes,
157
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,519
they find another way.
158
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,720
BIRDS CALL
159
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,120
Drop it.
160
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,519
Good boy.
161
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,480
Come here. Come here!
162
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,239
Jump. That's nice.
163
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,120
Come here. Come on, then. Good boy.
DOG YAPPING
164
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:49,999
Morning.
165
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,440
Morning.
166
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,679
Don't normally see anyone
else this time.
167
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,080
I don't sleep well.
168
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:01,960
Me neither.
169
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,439
Wow! Quick, yours.
Ah, no, he's not mine.
170
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,280
The neighbour lets me take him out.
171
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,399
You're not from round here?
172
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,600
What gave it away?
173
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:19,960
Oh, you know...
174
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,079
Everything.
175
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,159
Yeah. Just moved up from London.
176
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,399
We're "one of those".
177
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,999
Tired of the rat race, were it?
178
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,520
Yeah. Something like that.
179
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,879
Tom!
180
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,039
Tom! Where are you?
181
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,200
Tom?
182
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,999
OK. Major Tom?
183
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,480
Major Tom!
184
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,879
RATTLES CAT TREATS
185
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,599
I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.
We seem to have misplaced our cat.
186
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:07,800
When Major Tom returns, would you
please give us a call? Thank you.
187
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,280
You're leaving me your cat?
188
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:13,840
Thank you.
189
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,080
ENGINE STARTS
190
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,680
MAJOR TOM MEOWS
191
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,800
THUNDERCLAP
192
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,680
And the sea air of course,
good for the soul, they say.
193
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:51,640
Well, your new home has been
officially recognised as the
country's hairiest arsehole.
194
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,480
Makes Peterborough
look like...Portugal.
195
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,160
I think it's people make places.
196
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,680
Then we're really fucked.
197
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,160
Sorry.
198
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,800
WIND HOWLS
199
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,360
DOG WHIMPERS
200
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,640
DOG YAPS
201
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,320
What the hell...? Bette, come here.
202
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,240
What is it? What is it, girl?
203
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,520
What is...?
204
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:53,920
Jesus Christ!
205
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,000
Oh, God!
206
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,799
Call the police. My phone's out.
207
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,600
Right. Just fucking... Come on.
208
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,360
You got to look at this. What?
209
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,480
Fucking hell! Yeah.
210
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,599
What are you waiting for?
There's two dead people here.
211
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:01,439
The street value's got to
run into tens of millions...
212
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:05,679
So what? Let's just, erm...
Let's just give this a minute.
213
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,959
Let's just think...
There's nowt to think about.
214
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,480
Jesus! Give me your
fucking phone! Just, erm...
215
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,959
Sometimes... Sometimes, the world...
216
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,519
The world throws you a bone.
217
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,840
But you don't always see it. You
don't always recognise it, but...
218
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,560
This, what's happening right now,
this is the world
throwing us a bone.
219
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,480
You want to fucking take it?
220
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,640
I don't know.
221
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,360
Are you mad?
222
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,999
My name's Samuel. What's your name?
223
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,599
What? Look, this situation's fucked
up enough as it is without
us being total strangers.
224
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,079
My name's Samuel.
What's yours, please?
225
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,360
It's Janet.
OK. Janet. OK.
226
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,040
Hi, Janet.
227
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,319
Hi, Samuel.
228
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,520
Erm...
229
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:58,279
Listen... Listen, Janet, erm,
back in London, I was a lawyer.
230
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,639
And I, think I might...
I know this is fucking insane,
it's insane, I know, but...
231
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,560
I think I know someone who'd give
us a lot of money for this.
232
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,439
I just came here to walk
the bloody dog. So did I!
233
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,159
But then the world... Threw us a
bone, yeah. Only it's not a bone.
234
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,239
It's a load of cocaine,
the size of a fucking Nissan!
235
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,360
I've gambled away my
entire life savings.
236
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,879
I sold my house,
which is why we moved here.
237
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,200
Camilla, my wife, has no idea.
238
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,799
I don't know what your story is...
No, you don't. Right.
239
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,680
But you are telling me
you can't use a few million quid?
240
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,320
It is not that simple.
But it could be.
241
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,079
Sometimes, you know, the best thing
to do is to look out for yourself.
242
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,639
Cos God knows life kicks
you in the bollocks often enough,
243
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,319
and when you get a chance you need
to take it, grab it with
244
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,879
both hands, because there's nothing
worse than living with regret...
245
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,439
HE FADES OUT, WAVES CRASH
246
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,040
Where would we keep it?
247
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,319
We should go.
248
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,559
DOG WHIMPERS
249
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,080
Oh, shit! What?
250
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,640
I gotta clean my dog.
251
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,200
MOBILE RINGS
252
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,799
We missed our date last night.
253
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,679
But I'd already paid the deposit,
254
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,559
so I had a whole beef Wellington
to myself.
255
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,359
And I ate it all,
256
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,279
the whole soddin' Wellington.
257
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,839
So are you going to give me
a call back, or what?
258
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,120
Just a text or anything, just to
let me know that you're all right.
259
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,440
Just call me, all right, love?
260
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,240
Turns out the policeman's boyfriend
was also a policeman.
261
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,959
And while he was
calling his dead lover,
262
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,760
Samuel was washing
his Pomeranian in the sea.
263
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,120
Come on, come on, come on.
264
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,280
DOG YAPS
265
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,360
Where the fuck were you?
What took you so long?
266
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,239
There was a woman...on the beach.
267
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,599
She saw me.
268
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,679
What? Christ...
269
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,000
Well, she didn't see my face.
Come on, just fucking drive.
270
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,200
Hmm.
271
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,359
999, what's your emergency?
272
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:19,519
Yes, there's a Code 4
down at Applebury beach.
273
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,239
A boat on the shore.
274
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,240
No need for sirens,
just the meat wagon.
275
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:25,599
Your name, please?
276
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,679
Pat Tooh, with an H.
277
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,319
Right, are you able to wait a while,
while we send an ambulance?
278
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:34,319
I used to be a paramedic, love.
Trust me, they're extremely dead.
279
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,720
They're on their way.
Ah, lovely.
280
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,120
IN FRENCH:
281
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,840
MUFFLED GRUNTS
282
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,600
PHONE RINGS
283
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,319
Yes?
284
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:06,719
What is it?
285
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,079
Sh!
286
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,440
Sh, sh, sh, sh!
287
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,120
Ah, hold on, hold on.
288
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,160
HE CRIES IN PAIN
289
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,640
HE CHOKES
290
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,240
Say that again.
291
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,720
You are talking about my shipment?
292
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,159
But this is a joke.
293
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:49,680
Tell me it's a joke.
294
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,720
This is how.
295
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,479
Where are we even going?
296
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,199
I think we should drop
the dogs off first.
297
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,639
Then I passed a storage
unit on my way in.
298
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,559
Storage? Right. You've got all the
answers, haven't you,
299
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,919
Mr Storage Face?
300
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,159
Sorry, you got a charger?
301
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,039
Just my phone's...
302
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,319
My wife's, it's in there.
303
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,119
That'll do it.
304
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,919
Oh, I don't understand what just
happened.
305
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,559
I feel like my heart's beating
right outside my chest.
306
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:41,960
Maybe that's because it is.
307
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:55,920
Shit.
308
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:58,879
OK.
309
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,439
OK, just...
310
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,119
Just stay calm. I am.
311
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:03,760
I'm talking to myself.
Oh.
312
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:07,959
Come on, come on, come on.
313
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,640
Keep calm, remember?
314
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,200
Oh, no. What?
315
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:15,839
What shall I do?
316
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,520
Don't do anything. Just wait and...
Huh...
317
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:25,440
OK.
318
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,639
I'll get out of the way,
nice...and slow.
319
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,079
What the fuck are you doing?
What do you mean, what am I doing?
320
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,799
It's a one-way street!
What? Oh, shit.
321
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,439
SIREN WAILS
What is wrong with you?
322
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,399
I wasn't thinking. Well, start.
Pull over!
323
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,559
What? What if we just hit the pedal
and we don't look back?
324
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,279
We're not Thelma and Louise, you
daft bastard. We're in Applebury.
325
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,640
Stop the fucking car.
326
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,759
Stay calm.
Yes, yes, I know.
327
00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,999
I'm talking to MYSELF now.
328
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,600
SHE SIGHS
329
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,800
RADIO CHATTER
330
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,559
Hi, officer. So, look, I'm new here,
331
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:31,999
and I, erm, was meant to take
a different turning
332
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,479
and I ended up going down
this one-way street.
333
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:36,519
You know you're
going down a one-way street?
334
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,799
Yes, and I'm so sorry. Erm...
335
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,039
You can't do that.
No, er...
336
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,079
What if a car was coming towards
you? Or a bicycle?
337
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,399
Neither would be good.
Or a van.
338
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,559
Absolutely. A mobility scooter.
339
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,639
Right...
A kid on a skateboard.
340
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,199
Or those shoes with wheels on.
341
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,239
Can you imagine how that could
have ended up?
342
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,760
Terrible. Be dead.
343
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,959
Hiya.
You all right?
344
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,319
So, I really am very sorry.
345
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,679
And I'm sorry to be wasting
police time.
346
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:04,159
It's important,
the job you guys do.
347
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,119
My friend and I, we were just out
walking our dogs together.
348
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,840
Dog buddies!
349
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:14,919
Yes, dog friends, and we got talking
and, er, the turning...
350
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:16,400
All right.
351
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,239
Tell me something, sir. Yes.
352
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,840
In the back of your car there...
353
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,200
..is that a whippet?
354
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,999
Yes, yes.
Yeah, he's called Rambo. Rambo.
355
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,839
My mummy used to have a whippet.
356
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,839
Beautiful creatures, aren't they?
Yeah.
357
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,199
Odd little bodies, though.
You can see their ribs.
358
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,320
Yeah, you can.
MAN: Ben, come on.
359
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:52,999
Look, all right, no harm done,
all right?
360
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,199
But please be more careful
next time. Yes, will do.
361
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,119
Yeah, of course. Thanks.
See you later. Right.
362
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,840
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
363
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,280
Dog buddies?
364
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,360
I panicked.
365
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:31,719
And that's just ten of the great
uses for safety pins.
366
00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:34,839
Harold's Life Hacks -
hit the subscribe button below.
367
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,960
CAMERA BEEPS
368
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,919
Hey. We need storage.
369
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,000
Oh, and, er, these.
370
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,640
HE SIGHS
371
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,359
Right, we've got a padlock each,
372
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,600
so it needs both of us
if we want to get into it.
373
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,159
Don't you trust me?
374
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,920
You said you were a lawyer,
didn't you?
375
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,199
You can just ask me, you know.
376
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,399
Ask you what?
My hand. You keep staring at it
377
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,479
like it's a pair of tits.
No, I don't! You do.
378
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:04,799
It were a work accident -
379
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:08,079
hand versus industrial
metal-pressing machine.
380
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,560
Guess who lost.
381
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,119
Good lawyer could get you
six figures.
382
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,559
Oh, my God!
I never thought of that!
383
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,639
No, me, erm...
384
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,439
My manager, he, er, he gave me
some whisky after it happened.
385
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,159
Don't tell the bods
upstairs that you saw this.
386
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,680
It'll just take the edge off it.
387
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,279
I downed the lot,
388
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,839
on account of the extreme fucking
agony I were experiencing.
389
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,799
He later claimed that
I were drinking on the job,
390
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,840
so, no pay-out...for me.
391
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,519
You can ask me anything, you know.
392
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,479
I'm all right, actually.
MOBILE RINGS
393
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,399
Sorry, got to take this.
394
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:49,680
Hello, Samuel speaking.
395
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:52,839
You're joking.
396
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,239
OK. No, thanks. It's great.
I, erm...
397
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:57,439
Can I call you back?
It's not a good time.
398
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:58,640
Thank you.
399
00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:02,839
Who were that?
It's my cat, Major Tom.
400
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,119
Your what?
401
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,839
No, my cat's not calling me,
obviously.
402
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,039
It's, er, my estate agent.
403
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,279
When we moved out of the house
in London,
404
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,119
the cat went AWOL,
and it seems he's back.
405
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,800
You moved house
and you left your cat behind?
406
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:19,520
What the fuck am I doing?
407
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,119
What now?
408
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,799
I don't know.
409
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,120
What are you supposed to do
after something like this?
410
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,759
I thought you could use this.
411
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,959
Soy, right?
Oh, Colin, you're the best!
412
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,280
It's all right.
I was passing anyway.
413
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,880
I'd better be getting on.
Yeah.
414
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,839
Why don't you just ask her out?
415
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,639
I've, er,
actually written her a note.
416
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,399
Great.
Just what every grown woman wants.
417
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,999
Follow it up by pulling her pigtails
and telling her she smells
418
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,439
and you're golden.
419
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,439
Love might have been in the air
for Colin,
420
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:32,999
but, for Arthur Lake,
421
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,159
it was quite the opposite.
422
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:39,199
As he sat there lost
in a haze of pain and sadness,
423
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,239
the last thing
he needed to hear was the words...
424
00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:45,040
ECHOING: You all right, buddy?
425
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,440
Buddy?
426
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,559
Who are you?
Ben.
427
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:56,799
You don't know me. Or my name.
Clearly.
428
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,999
I just wanted to say how sorry
I was about what happened
429
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,559
to your life-partner.
430
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,079
I really am sorry, buddy.
431
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,879
It's all right
if I call you buddy, isn't it?
432
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,119
He seemed nice.
433
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,360
I'm not that way inclined, you know,
but if I were, I'd be interested.
434
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,159
He probably wouldn't be
interested in me anyway, would he?
435
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,639
I wonder who would.
436
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:18,679
Ian, maybe.
437
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,120
Do you know Ian?
438
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,120
Arthur... Come on.
439
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:31,639
How are you doing?
440
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,319
As you'd expect.
441
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,559
I know you'd rather be anywhere
but here right now,
442
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,119
only something's come up.
443
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:38,639
How do you mean?
444
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,319
Mark took a unit boat
out onto the water,
445
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,199
but the case number
he assigned to it...
446
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,440
It doesn't exist.
447
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,319
Sorry, I don't...
Erm...
448
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,559
What are you asking me?
449
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,959
He takes a police vessel out into
the ocean - at night, on his own.
450
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,439
Next thing we know, we find him
in that fishing boat
451
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,679
with an as yet unidentified body.
452
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,640
Are you saying he was on the take?
453
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,119
Because if you are, sir,
that's some fucking bollocks.
454
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,719
Not here, lad. In my office.
I'm fine where I am, thanks.
455
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:10,039
We're just trying to piece things
together, that's all.
456
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,919
I fucking loved him!
457
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,239
So don't you dare stand there
and make out like
458
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:16,039
him being killed
was somehow his fault!
459
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,239
Mark was a good officer.
460
00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:19,359
The whole force has
suffered a loss today.
461
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:20,959
HE CHUCKLES SARDONICALLY
462
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,199
Nice eulogy.
463
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,400
You going to bury his reputation
alongside his fucking corpse?
464
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,879
Nice and easy.
465
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:52,559
Good boy.
466
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,479
I'm not doing rock, paper, scissors.
467
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:56,679
Why?
468
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:57,999
Cos it's stupid.
469
00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,840
And we've got pubes now, that's why.
470
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,200
Well, how about
foot, cockroach, nuclear bomb?
471
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,599
What the fuck is that?
472
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,519
Well, it's basically
rock, paper, scissors.
473
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,399
Oh, for fuck's sake.
No, I'm not doing it.
474
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,000
All right, Ron, answer me this.
475
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,280
How many times did you
fail your driving test?
476
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:21,079
Twice.
477
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,399
Three times.
478
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,039
Fucked up the three-point turn.
479
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:25,359
Well, there you go.
480
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,199
You're driving this time.
481
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,679
Oh, and do me a favour,
482
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,919
have a little think about
what we're going to eat later.
483
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,720
This place I drew
the map on looks lovely.
484
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,279
20% voucher off and all, eh?
485
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:38,639
THEY LAUGH
486
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,240
You know it makes sense.
487
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,480
Right, let's do it.
488
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,519
PACKET RUSTLES
489
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,079
HE MUNCHES
490
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,120
PHONE RINGS
491
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,440
Hmm...
492
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:35,360
PACKET RUSTLES
493
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,680
SHOTGUN COCKS
494
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,640
ENTRY SYSTEM BUZZES
495
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:58,120
SCREAMING AND GUNFIRE
496
00:43:05,240 --> 00:43:07,680
GUNFIRE CONTINUES
497
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,960
SHOUTING AND SCREAMING
498
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,600
SHRIEK, GUNSHOT
499
00:43:26,240 --> 00:43:29,160
NOISE ECHOES
500
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,640
Please, no...
GUNSHOT
501
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:39,560
Please... Plea-...
502
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:42,440
SHOTGUN COCKS
503
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:55,120
HE STRAINS
504
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,880
TINY SQUEAK
505
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:28,520
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
506
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,880
WHISPERS: Get down, get down...
507
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,959
Read it when this is done,
would you? Sh.
508
00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,840
DOOR OPENS
509
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,760
WHISPERS: No, no.
510
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,640
SHE SCREAMS
511
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:55,960
Stand up.
512
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,559
Where's the evidence locker?
513
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:05,000
It says it should fucking be here,
now where is it?
514
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,080
I think it's the wrong way round.
515
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,799
Ah...
516
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,520
HE LAUGHS
517
00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,199
Cheers.
518
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,520
GUNSHOT
519
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,480
HE EXHALES
520
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,000
PHONE LINE BLEEPS
521
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,520
Wrong fucking floor. Basement.
522
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,480
ENTRY PAD BEEPS
523
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:14,160
ENTRY PAD BEEPS
524
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:26,960
No, no, no.
525
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:29,880
It's not here.
526
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:32,480
It's fucking not here.
527
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,320
ENGINE STARTS
528
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:16,920
PHONE PINGS
529
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,999
It were just a friend.
530
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,040
PHONE PINGS
531
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:38,879
Oh! Get two-for-one with a fax
machine there, did you?
532
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,080
No.
533
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:44,199
It's so I don't have a
24-hour casino in my pocket.
534
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:45,640
Ah, sorry.
535
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,680
Ah, OK...
536
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:56,999
Why are you looking at me like that?
537
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,839
Because I am wondering why you
agreed to do something like this.
538
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,400
Cos you're so persuasive.
539
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,640
Let me tell you something.
540
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:08,720
You know my secrets...
541
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,559
..all of them. Fucking hell.
542
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:13,119
HE LAUGHS
543
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,360
You're the only person
in the world who does.
544
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,000
I reckon this is a safe space.
545
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:22,920
OK.
546
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,839
That weren't me friend
that texted earlier.
547
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,399
It were me ex, Peter.
548
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,959
Cos I accidentally, on purpose -
549
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,959
- very on-purpose -
bumped into our boy
550
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,519
the other day and he mentioned
a restraining order again.
551
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,479
A restraining order?
That's your son, isn't it?
552
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,919
He's not, actually.
I mean, he is.
553
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,879
He were just a baby
when I met his dad.
554
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,119
His mum had buggered off
and then suddenly there I were.
555
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,359
Not a bloody clue
what I were doing.
556
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,480
And I bloody loved it, every minute.
557
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,919
Anyway, Peter, he met
a younger model
558
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:57,239
who were hard for Jesus,
so that were that.
559
00:49:57,240 --> 00:49:59,919
So, now I can't see him anymore.
560
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:02,360
So, from being a mum to being...
561
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:06,879
..numb, I suppose.
562
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,720
Yeah, like I never fucking existed.
563
00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:13,200
That's shit. Sorry.
564
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,040
Oh, fucking hell.
565
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,280
Can I... Can I show you something?
566
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:34,079
So, this is...yours?
567
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,279
It's the last painting I sold.
568
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,279
It's beautiful.
569
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,119
Yeah, at least I kept the hand
I paint with.
570
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:41,799
No, I mean it.
571
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:43,679
You have real talent.
572
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,240
Shades of Demuth...
573
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,999
Charles Demuth.
TANNOY CHIMES
574
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,319
OK...
575
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,439
ANNOUNCEMENT: Attention,
all shoppers,
576
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:57,559
Tinley Shopping Centre will close
today at 4pm due to an incident...
577
00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:00,639
Yep. Years of effort
and if you're lucky,
578
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:02,920
maybe you get a spot
in the Tinley Centre.
579
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:07,119
Why'd you bring me here?
580
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:12,519
Sometimes I come here and I pretend
like I'm in some art gallery
581
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,679
and it's like I'm in some
alternate reality
582
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,600
where I'm not the unluckiest
person in the world.
583
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,759
So why did...?
584
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,559
You asked me
585
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,600
why I agreed to do this, right?
Mm-hm.
586
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:31,879
Cos everything I thought I had -
587
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,559
my future, me... Me fucking fingers,
588
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:36,279
and me boy -
589
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,199
it's all nothing.
590
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,759
And I am... I am done with nothing.
591
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:42,040
And you need to know that.
592
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,520
Do not fuck me over on this.
593
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:49,479
Do not fuck me over on this, please.
594
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,960
MOBILE RINGS
595
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:57,999
You OK, love?
596
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,719
He hasn't told you anything,
has he?
597
00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:01,319
Who? Oh, your dad?
598
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,199
No, no, apart from
where I can stick it. Why?
599
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,880
It's just, it feels like there's
something going on.
600
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:10,759
Like, afoot, you might even say.
601
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:15,519
Dad and Suzie, they keep going quiet
whenever I come into a room like...
602
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,200
Got to go. He's coming back.
603
00:52:18,240 --> 00:52:20,839
Alan. Alan?
604
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,960
Fuck's sake.
SHE TUTS
605
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,919
Well, we should probably, er,
call it a night
606
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,919
before your cat takes out
a second mortgage.
607
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:33,800
Yes, yes, yes.
608
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,520
The family will be wondering
where I got to.
609
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:43,079
So, erm, all right.
610
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:44,479
Well, then, erm, yeah.
611
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,399
I'll... I'll...
612
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,720
I'll be in touch.
Oh...
613
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,119
Right,
leave it to the one with one hand.
614
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,559
Actually, I can't just go and
pretend it's been a normal day.
615
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:57,999
I'm going to go and drink some more.
616
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,080
So, despite what you said,
you are welcome to come and join me.
617
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:07,440
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
618
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:16,040
Let's leave Janet
and Samuel doing karaoke...
619
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,639
..and go find Arthur running
620
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,879
away from grief
PHONE RINGS
621
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:25,040
and towards a whole new
set of problems.
622
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,239
Look, whatever you're selling,
piss off, all right?
623
00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:33,199
I'm not selling anything, Mr Lake.
624
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:34,880
How are you?
625
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:37,159
Who's this?
626
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:38,999
Le Tailleur.
627
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,839
The Tailor, like you would say.
628
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:45,919
But, like most things,
it sounds better in French.
629
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,840
We haven't met, but you have
something of mine, I think.
630
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:51,999
I don't know what you're
talking about.
631
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,039
The boat was found, and two bodies -
632
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:55,679
my associate, your partner,
633
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,799
and the boat's cargo is gone.
634
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,039
My people checked the police
evidence room.
635
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,639
I've done my work, you see.
636
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,239
You were working together
to steal from me.
637
00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:06,119
Mate, I don't know who the fuck
you are
638
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,999
or what the fuck you are talking
about, all right?
639
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,799
Don't. Please.
640
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,439
Another shipment of mine was taken
six weeks ago.
641
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:16,079
Two men in police uniform.
642
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,559
Now, one, I can shrug it off -
643
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,119
bad luck, the cost of
doing business -
644
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,160
but two...?
Get fucked.
645
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:29,479
I believe appearances
are very important,
646
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,879
no matter what your business.
647
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:36,719
Perception is no mere superficial
concern, it is everything.
648
00:54:36,720 --> 00:54:39,359
And the perception
of my organisation,
649
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,759
to lose two shipments...
650
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,399
You see my problem?
651
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,760
Seems to me you've got another
problem, pal.
652
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,320
You've got to find me first.
653
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,159
# Ground Control to Major Tom... #
654
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,959
He claimed not to know anything.
655
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:04,040
So, I have a journey to make.
656
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,079
No, no, I'm looking forward to it.
657
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:11,039
It's good to get out of the house
once in a while.
658
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,199
The thing about stories is,
659
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:15,959
it's they can take you anywhere.
660
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:20,240
To well-paid mass murderers in
search of 20% discounts...
661
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,919
..to the places that we
thought were gone
662
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:26,520
and maybe lost forever.
663
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:33,360
Fairy tales about frogs being
kissed that needed an ending...
664
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,719
..to a boy playing an instrument
665
00:55:38,720 --> 00:55:41,760
thinking about the mother
he wishes could be his mother.
666
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:50,279
# This is Ground Control
to Major Tom
667
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:54,080
# You've really made the grade
668
00:55:55,360 --> 00:56:00,560
# And the papers want to know
whose shirts you wear
669
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:08,079
# Now it's time to leave the capsule
if you dare... #
670
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:11,119
I will find the money
and hang them from the sky.
671
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,320
When I'm done...
672
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,080
..there will be nothing left.
673
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,519
Yes, stories can take us anywhere,
674
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:25,959
sometimes even back
to the beginning,
675
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,000
or the end,
depending on how you look at it.
676
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,919
I'll give you a fiver to touch it.
677
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,399
You reckon we should tell someone?
678
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,200
MAN: Oi!
678
00:56:49,305 --> 00:57:49,374
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