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1
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(grand orchestral
fanfare playing)
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00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,966
♪ ♪
3
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:53,261
(muffled clamoring)
4
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,391
NARRATOR: Treasure.
5
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,185
♪ ♪
6
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:05,606
Why is it always so
goddamn hard to find?
7
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:10,778
This is the story of the
treasure of Foggy Mountain,
8
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:14,406
the priceless golden
bust of Marie Antoinette.
9
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,241
It was stolen from Versailles
10
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:19,578
by French naval explorer
Jean Pierre Le Roche.
11
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He fled to America and hid
it deep within the mountain.
12
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:27,086
In his final days,
he built a map,
13
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,423
a key leading to this
legendary treasure.
14
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,593
It was his dream
that the bravest,
15
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,762
most feared adventurers
in the world
16
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,225
would find it and
solve its puzzle.
17
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,769
(all yelling excitedly)
18
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,354
That is not what happened.
19
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,398
- ♪ Dance ♪
- ♪ Under the spotlight ♪
20
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,692
♪ Neither Black nor white ♪
21
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,527
♪ It doesn't matter ♪
22
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:55,615
♪ Do the dance, do the dance ♪
23
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,659
♪ The way you move
is a mystery ♪
24
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,704
(exhales sharply)
25
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,456
♪ Do the dance ♪
26
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,792
♪ You're always there
for music and me... ♪
27
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,669
Morning, my boys.
28
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,462
Morning, brother.
29
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,840
Breakfast time. You
know I'm on the eggs.
30
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,049
Heads up, Chef J.
31
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,885
(song stops)
32
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,220
(all groaning)
33
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:21,223
Guess we're just having...
leftover pad Thai!
34
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,434
- Let's go! -Oh!
- (song resumes)
35
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,729
{\an8}♪ You're always there
for music and me... ♪
36
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:27,856
Time to go to work.
37
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,691
- Let's do it.
- Whoo!
38
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,402
- (backfire, engine sputtering)
- (song stops)
39
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,279
- Dude.
- Oh, what happened?
40
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,656
- The Sube's busted.
- Come on, man.
41
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,324
Dang it.
42
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,535
(song resumes): ♪
Do the D-A-N-C-E ♪
43
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,579
♪ One, two, three,
four, fight ♪
44
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:47,333
♪ Stick to the B-E-A-T,
get ready to ignite ♪
45
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,876
♪ Do the dance ♪
46
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,461
♪ Under the spotlight ♪
47
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,254
- ♪ Neither Black nor white... ♪
- (song stops)
48
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,007
Pussies.
-The fuck did you just say to us?
49
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,092
You heard me, Slender Man.
50
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,011
Buy us some beer, or
we'll beat your ass.
51
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,346
- (scoffs) Wow.
- (laughing)
52
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,348
All right, bro-bro.
53
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,016
You asked for it.
54
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,893
- Thanks, boys.
- (song resumes)
55
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,520
♪ Do the dance, do the dance ♪
56
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,272
♪ Stick to the B-E-A-T ♪
57
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,274
♪ Do the dance, do the dance ♪
58
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,318
♪ You were such a P.Y.T... ♪
59
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,652
Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin,
60
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,196
Martin, Martin,
Martin, Martin, Martin!
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00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,114
- (Martin yells, grunts)
- (song stops)
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00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,033
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
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00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,034
Mart?
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00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,286
Your boy's okay.
65
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- Let's go!
- (song resumes)
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00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:28,624
♪ Whatever happens ♪
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00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,793
- ♪ Do the dance, do the... ♪
- (song stops)
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00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,504
Where the fuck were you?
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00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,172
You're three hours late!
70
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,548
Dad, you don't understand.
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00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,759
The Subes was busted,
so we had to shred.
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00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,219
You had to shred?
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00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,138
Wait a minute. Why
are your lips red?
74
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,223
Were you eating a snow cone?
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00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,599
That was a really good guess.
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00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,351
The police are here,
and they're saying
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00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,228
that you bought
alcohol for minors.
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00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,938
- BEN: Oh, no.
- JOHN and MARTIN: Oh.
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00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,356
Yeah, that's a crime.
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00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,316
In Europe, the drinking
age is like ten.
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00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,693
They could have been European.
82
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,403
What made you think
they were European?
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00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,862
They had a certain je ne sais quoi.
-JOHN: Yeah.
84
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:01,073
I think one of them was
eating pain au chocolat.
85
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,574
Ben, I'm gonna retire soon.
86
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,910
I'm not always gonna
be here to babysit you.
87
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,412
What? You know what, no.
88
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,163
Can I stop this for a second?
89
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,999
If you ever, ever...
90
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,126
Johnny.
-...talk to my friends like that...
91
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,544
- John!
- Yeah.
92
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,337
Be someplace else right
now, or I'll kill you.
93
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,755
Got it. See you, brother.
94
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,757
Uh, so I don't mean
to be rude, but, like,
95
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,927
lunch is usually
now, so could we...
96
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,679
I'll go. Thank you, sir.
97
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,556
Skates are cool, though, right?
98
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:28,434
Goddamn it, would
you stand still!
99
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,936
Would it kill you to be just
a little more like Dylan?
100
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,438
I mean, look at that.
101
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,107
(chuckling): God, the
guy's a rock star.
102
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,027
A rock star? He's, like, the
most normal guy in the world.
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00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,403
FARLEY: He's the best.
104
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,113
BEN: He looks like he's
in the eighth grade.
105
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,364
- (sneezes)
- FARLEY: He's so cool.
106
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,033
Try to pick up on
what Dylan has.
107
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,701
Yeah.
108
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,995
I love you.
109
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,622
Yeah. Love you, too.
110
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,499
Did you just look around
to see if anyone was...
111
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,751
- Did not.
- You did. I just saw...
112
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,294
- You went both shoulders.
- Never did.
113
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,462
- Get to work, okay?
- All right.
114
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,964
- Good talk.
- Cool.
115
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,716
Okay, let's... less touching.
116
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,469
- And take off the skates!
- See you. Sorry.
117
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,596
What a morning, man.
That was amazing.
118
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,639
- I feel like Apollo Ohno.
- What are you talking about?
119
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,892
- We just got chewed out.
- Whatever.
120
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,144
Sometimes it does feel
like we're getting
121
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,229
- a little too old for this.
- That's what I'm saying, man.
122
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,814
We're in our 20s, you guys.
123
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,649
This is our time to have fun,
hang out with our friends.
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00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,485
We're 26, man. We're not 21.
125
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,819
- There's a big difference.
- Oh, my God.
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00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,613
Next thing I know,
you're gonna, like,
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00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,782
go to bed at 10:00 p.m.
and, like, pay your taxes.
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00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,575
- Do you not pay taxes?
- What are you talking about?
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00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,868
You don't have to pay taxes
130
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,787
- under a certain bracket.
- Yeah, you do.
131
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,538
- Yes, you do. -No, you don't.
- We have to pay... You sh...
132
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,998
- We all have to pay.
- You're gonna get audited.
133
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,583
I dare the IRS to come to my house.
-They will.
134
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,001
- They'll audit you.
- They will audit you.
135
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,336
- What are you talking about?
- Kick their ass.
136
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,254
FARLEY: Hey! What
are you doing?
137
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,588
Turtles can't eat bread!
138
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,006
- Fuck.
- Scoop the bread out.
139
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,424
You go for the turtles.
I'll get the bread.
140
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,676
- Just take the bread out.
- Help.
141
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,157
We don't need to
take the turtles out.
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♪ ♪
143
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(air rushing)
144
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,562
Yo, Mart.
145
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,231
You Christian now?
146
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,441
Oh, yeah. Well,
my girlfriend is.
147
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,651
We're really in love.
148
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:01,902
Whenever I'm around
her, I'm like,
149
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,196
"I don't know what I'd
do if you left me."
150
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,406
I'm sorry, the wind
is a little loud.
151
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,865
Can you say that again?
152
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,493
I'm just so scared
she's gonna leave me.
153
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,953
So the sex is good?
154
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:13,789
It's great. She always
just lets me lie there.
155
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,958
I'm going deep. I'm going deep.
-Go long. Go long.
156
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,043
I'm going deep. Hey!
157
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,254
What are you guys doing?
158
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,380
Geez, really?
159
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,881
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, goodness.
160
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,591
(laughs) It's on
me. Just take it.
161
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:25,926
DYLAN: No, I couldn't.
162
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,428
Hey, John?
163
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,221
Will you help us reach this?
164
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,515
Oh, um, maybe just
ask him to jump.
165
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,351
This is a three-in-one
North American birdcall.
166
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,728
Just give it a
nice blow in the...
167
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,229
in the hole here,
and it's, uh...
168
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,897
(loud, shrill honk)
169
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,525
- Oh!
- What?
170
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:42,484
That wasn't right.
171
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,111
I stay still!
172
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,738
Oh, so you're completely still?
173
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,365
I get hard. She slips it in.
174
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,742
End of my job.
175
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,744
Oh, so you're kind of
pumping it from below?
176
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,580
No, I ain't moving
a muscle, sister.
177
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:58,709
She barely has to touch
me, and I make a huge mess.
178
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,753
Let me try one more time. Yeah, no worries.
-Sure.
179
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,505
- (loud, shrill honk)
- (shoppers gasping, groaning)
180
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,965
- MAN: You suck, Ben.
- WOMAN: Wow.
181
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,300
Relax, Mike.
182
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,926
BEN: Night, y'all.
Good day's work.
183
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,803
- Shut up. -WOMAN: No.
- Let's get it again tomorrow.
184
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,557
Keep working hard. All right.
185
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,562
Are y'all ready?
186
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,105
I brought the Trulys.
187
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,398
I'm sorry, dude.
188
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:22,775
I got a big meeting with my dad.
189
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,651
But it's Fly Day Friday.
We do this every week.
190
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,195
We get trashed and fly
in the wingsuit machine.
191
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,654
I know. I'm sorry.
192
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,114
It's just, I'm doing a
big presentation for him
193
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,784
- on why I should run the store.
- Okay. Mart?
194
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,535
I would, but Amy and
I got to get ready
195
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,870
for the big day tomorrow.
196
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,289
- The adult baptism.
- MARTIN: Yes.
197
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,291
Getting wet with the
good Lord's water.
198
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,001
- Okay.
- It's just a little weird
199
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,087
- to get baptized as an adult.
- Thank you.
200
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,839
Unless you're, like, getting
out of jail or getting sober.
201
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,466
All right, well,
more Trulys for me.
202
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,759
Don't drink all of them.
203
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,886
- Okay, I won't. I will.
- Hell yeah.
204
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,388
- Peace, dudes.
- Have a good night.
205
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,264
- See you, man.
- I'll see you at home.
206
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:54,683
Later.
207
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,855
♪ ♪
208
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:08,237
NARRATOR: John was in pain.
209
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:11,156
And not just because he
was seven Trulys deep,
210
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,951
wing-suiting by himself
on a Friday night.
211
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:17,121
The real source of John's
pain went all the way back
212
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:21,417
to the 2007 Pinewood
middle school talent show.
213
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,627
("Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by
Soulja Boy Tell'em playing)
214
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,295
(cheering and applause)
215
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:29,258
It was fifth grade, before
John even knew Ben and Martin.
216
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,051
I love you, Johnny Flames!
217
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,680
NARRATOR: He was nice with the
magic tricks, and he knew it.
218
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:38,226
His big closer was the
Purple Flame Quick Change.
219
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,227
Ooh!
220
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,478
NARRATOR: He just had to
221
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,397
- jump through fire...
- (gasps)
222
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:46,859
change behind a mirror and
reappear in a new outfit.
223
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,070
(cheering)
224
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,196
The only problem was...
225
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,865
His penis is out!
226
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,993
♪ ♪
227
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:01,915
- (screaming)
- NARRATOR: Yes.
228
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,710
The whole school
saw John's penis,
229
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,462
and that was the worst thing
230
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,547
- that had ever happened to him.
- Stop!
231
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,007
NARRATOR: Until
five seconds later.
232
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,259
Now it's on fire!
233
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,598
(screaming)
234
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,932
(audience screaming)
235
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,518
NARRATOR: And that
was the worst thing
236
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,312
that had ever happened to him.
237
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,938
{\an8}Until five seconds later.
238
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,442
Mr. Richards is
touching John's penis!
239
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,861
NARRATOR: The most
beloved teacher in school
240
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,364
would lose his teaching license.
241
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,366
(audience screaming)
242
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,118
♪ ♪
243
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,913
It was the worst
day of John's life.
244
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,123
Nice going, Johnny Flames.
245
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,709
NARRATOR: Until the greatest
thing ever happened.
246
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,671
Hey, man. I thought
your magic was great.
247
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,964
And also, not a
bad-looking penis.
248
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,550
Our moms are taking us to
Foggy Mountain this weekend.
249
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,095
Want to come?
250
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,808
("A.M. AM" by Damien
Jurado playing)
251
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:05,771
♪ Stuck here in a
life that repeats ♪
252
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:09,608
♪ Living in the
now and between ♪
253
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,277
♪ Pages from a magazine ♪
254
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,946
What is that?
255
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,366
♪ Instruction manuals
for your dreams... ♪
256
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,951
It's a compass!
257
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,120
(laughter, excited yelling)
258
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:24,873
NARRATOR: Their friendship
meant everything to John.
259
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,626
But lately, he had the
feeling that Ben and Martin
260
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,129
were moving on without him.
261
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,798
AMY: Martin, I'm so excited.
262
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,093
I think it's gonna be the
perfect baptism outfit.
263
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,388
(shoes squeaking)
264
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,305
I love it.
265
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,640
- Really?
- Totally.
266
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,809
I feel like I'm rolling
up to the Met Gala.
267
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,477
(chuckles) Oh,
yeah. Beep, beep.
268
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,980
Yeah, and the theme is,
like, the '95 NBA Draft.
269
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,983
Oh. Baby, I feel like this
could be your new look.
270
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,317
- Yeah?
- And then, like,
271
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,652
if you grow your hair
out a little bit.
272
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,362
Looking like Jesus?
273
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:56,822
That suit's a family heirloom.
274
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,033
Yeah, my grandfather
was buried in that suit.
275
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,201
What?
-Baby, come look at this listing.
276
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,746
I think I found
the house for us.
277
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,330
MARTIN: Oh, wow.
278
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,540
This is great.
279
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,460
AMY: Right? Look
at that kitchen.
280
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:12,254
So, should we email the Realtor?
281
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,672
Yeah.
282
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,009
But doesn't it just
kind of look like shit?
283
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,719
What?
284
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,054
You know what, I think
I actually remember
285
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,347
seeing an even better place.
286
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,098
- Oh, okay.
- Um...
287
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,516
Yeah, just...
288
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,352
Uh... oh, this one.
289
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,895
This place is cute, right?
290
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,605
This place is kind of weird.
291
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,233
(chuckles) I mean,
like, who is that woman?
292
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:34,985
Oh, my God.
293
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,779
Is she, like, a
ghost or something?
294
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,238
MARTIN: I don't know.
295
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,074
I mean, she's eating a
cookie over the garbage.
296
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,825
Why is she in more
than one picture?
297
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,869
Well, let's just try
to look past that.
298
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,914
- Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, oh!
- Turn it off! Turn it off!
299
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,832
- (whimpering)
- (sighing)
300
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,042
Martin, why would
you think this house
301
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,377
is cuter than the other one?
302
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,128
I don't know. I was,
like, freaking out.
303
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,673
Okay, so you're freaking
out about the baptism stuff.
304
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,132
You can be honest with me, okay?
305
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,718
I mean, we don't have
to do any of this.
306
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:03,013
No. Amy, I'm sitting
here in this suit,
307
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:06,475
sweating so much in
your hot-ass apartment.
308
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,768
Yeah.
309
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,561
It's exactly where I want to be.
310
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,106
(sighs)
311
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:14,650
Dad, let's face it.
You'll be dead soon.
312
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:15,943
I'm 55.
313
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,277
And unless you leave the store
314
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,488
in capable hands,
it'll die with you.
315
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,448
(somber bagpipe music playing)
316
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,368
For years, Trout Plus has
been a leader in the outdoors.
317
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:27,246
- But what if we thought bigger?
- (bagpipe music stops)
318
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:31,083
What if we brought
the outdoors indoors?
319
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,502
Over 50% of the Earth is inside.
320
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,753
Did you know that?
321
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,171
- I...
- Without realizing it,
322
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,716
we've been cutting
our own sales in half.
323
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:41,719
Let's bust it open,
Dad, nasty-style.
324
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,846
Trout Plus Everything.
325
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,681
Oh, so we could
just sell anything.
326
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:46,849
- Anything.
- That's great.
327
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,684
- Monocles.
- Absolutely.
328
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,269
- Wizards' hats.
- Why not?
329
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,438
A bidet that shoots
gravy at your ass.
330
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,689
So you don't like the idea?
331
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,274
Surely, this is
not all you have.
332
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,234
Okay, I've been working
on something else.
333
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,902
I'll pitch it to you, but
it's not fully developed.
334
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,946
I'm ready. I can
handle it, I think.
335
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,451
Okay. Hair Salon for Boys.
336
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,535
{\an8}FARLEY: Oh. (laughs)
337
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,786
This is fantastic.
338
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,163
- You like it?
- Of course.
339
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,664
It's just, like, a social place
340
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,207
for young boys to
come and hang out
341
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,917
like older ladies
do at the salon.
342
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,712
Every boy's dream is
to be an older woman.
343
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,797
Yeah, that's what
I'm saying. Yes!
344
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,132
- (laughs)
- Whoo!
345
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,801
Never show this idea to anyone!
346
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,221
Ever!
347
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,389
Son, pop a squat.
348
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,141
Dad.
349
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,768
You're the last person on Earth
350
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,227
that I would let run this store.
351
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,104
I don't know why you want this.
352
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,315
You don't like the outdoors.
353
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,733
Remember Boy Scouts?
354
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,652
The only badge you got was
in diversity and inclusion.
355
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,820
It's really important.
356
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,322
Dying of exposure in the woods?
357
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,823
(mocking tone):
"Don't worry, I've got
358
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,658
my diversity and
inclusion badge."
359
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,286
Well, what if you're dying
from exposure to hatred?
360
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,246
Do you know that
every day of my life,
361
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,998
I've killed a living thing?
362
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,500
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
363
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,752
I punched a field
mouse three weeks ago.
364
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,295
I would give a
bobcat the finger,
365
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,547
- if that's something, I mean...
- They don't care.
366
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,841
Dad, I just need a little
more time to prove myself.
367
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,426
More time? You're 26.
368
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,887
Kids today prove themselves
when they're like 12.
369
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,555
Have you seen Stranger Things?
370
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,183
The kids on that show
are insanely talented.
371
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,018
What are you talking about?
372
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,978
I think you're just seeing
the glass as not having
373
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,772
enough water in it,
as opposed to having
374
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,232
more than an adequate
amount of water.
375
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:19,775
That's not how the saying goes.
376
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,569
Glass half full versus
glass half empty.
377
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,863
Yeah, well, your generation
loves to shorten everything
378
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,032
till it makes no fucking sense.
379
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,951
As your father...
380
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:31,995
and I say this with
all the warmth I can...
381
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:35,541
I only care about two
things: money and power.
382
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,419
And you have neither one.
383
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,796
JOHN: All right, boys,
finally, poker night.
384
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,006
Place your bets.
385
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,716
BOY: Can we play
something else?
386
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,134
I'm bored.
387
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,552
BOY 2: Hey, John, where
are your roommates at?
388
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,387
JOHN: I don't know, like,
busy again. It sucks.
389
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,682
I just got to fucking remind
them that we're a dream team.
390
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,058
Ben, John, Mart.
391
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,185
That's, like, what
it's always been.
392
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,812
BOY 2: So, what do you
want from your friends?
393
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,106
JOHN: I don't know, hang out
forever, travel the world,
394
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,858
go somewhere exotic like London.
395
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,484
BOY 1: You sound kind of sad.
396
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,153
I sound kind of sad? Wow.
397
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:06,655
Dude!
-Shut up, Jason. I'll email your mom.
398
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,032
JASON: Fuck you, fat boy!
399
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,074
You're playing poker
with 11-year-olds.
400
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,577
- Fuck you, Jason!
- Asshole!
401
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,745
BOY 2: You can't just...
402
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,163
JASON: Hey, I'll
kick your ass.
403
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,373
- Hey! Ow! Oh!
- Do you want a piece of me?
404
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,125
- Wow, okay.
- JASON: Hey! Come on!
405
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,253
How do you like that? No more game.
-BOY 2: Come on!
406
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,468
Dude, what is wrong
with my algorithm?
407
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:30,012
Welcome to Hot History Part 17:
408
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:32,431
The Treasure of Foggy Mountain.
409
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,767
Remember this guy,
Deetch Nordwind,
410
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,393
the guy who went missing?
411
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,229
He was looking for treasure:
the bust of Marie Antoinette.
412
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,023
Somebody has the key out there
413
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,067
to finding this treasure,
sitting in someone's room,
414
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,235
and they have no idea
they have the key
415
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:48,781
to something worth
over $100 million.
416
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,157
If it's you, go!
417
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,700
Find this treasure.
It's over...
418
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,743
(phone clicks)
419
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,119
♪ Work, work, work ♪
420
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,163
- ♪ Let's work, work, work... ♪
- Whoa.
421
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,791
(somber organ music playing)
422
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,793
(organ music continues playing)
423
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,629
Whoo! Yay, baby! You got this.
424
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,089
You're doing so good.
425
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,423
Go, Mart. (chuckles)
426
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,008
Thank you guys for
coming, by the way.
427
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,635
I know it means a lot
to him that you're here.
428
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,220
- Amy, of course.
- Aw.
429
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,055
What the fuck is her deal, man?
430
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:14,515
Shut up. She's
right next to us.
431
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,100
- (Amy squeals, giggles)
- What is her problem?
432
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,476
She's fine, man. She's...
433
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,144
She's honestly really
nice. It's just...
434
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,021
I don't know why Martin is so...
-Afraid?
435
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,606
He's petrified right now.
436
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,441
BEN: Looks like he's being held at gunpoint.
-I know.
437
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,984
And what the fuck is
going on with that suit?
438
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,569
I don't know, man.
439
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,571
JOHN: It's huge, dude. He
looks like the fucking sun.
440
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,365
He looks like a pimp
in a high school play.
441
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,200
PRIEST: I baptize thee.
442
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:38,080
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Ghost,
443
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,124
you are now baptized.
444
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:42,084
Whoo! (giggles)
445
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,419
- That was so good.
- (applause)
446
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,920
(piano playing "Be
Thou My Vision")
447
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,172
MARTIN: ♪ My own heart ♪
448
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,176
♪ Whatever befall ♪
449
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:55,806
♪ Still be my vision ♪
450
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:59,977
♪ O Ruler of all. ♪
451
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,311
(applause)
452
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,856
- You get any pigs in a blanket?
- No.
453
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:07,235
More of a fan of
the blanket myself.
454
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,528
- Are you kidding me, man?
- What?
455
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,071
You just sucked
the bread off that?
456
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,781
I said I'm more of a
fan of the blanket.
457
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,867
I heard what you said, man. It's disgusting.
-The bread.
458
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:18,328
In the words of John Lennon,
"All you need is love."
459
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,040
Too bad he's in hell
for doing drugs.
460
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,208
- (cell phone vibrating)
- Oh, my dad's calling.
461
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,210
- I got to take this.
- No, dude, don't leave me.
462
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,587
- Yeah, I-I'll be right back.
- Ben... Ben, please.
463
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,213
MARTIN: I was a sinner,
but now I'm saved,
464
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,132
and it's all thanks to Amy.
465
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,884
- AMY: Aw. (giggles)
- (applause)
466
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,719
I can't... I can't take credit.
467
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,597
Hmm. You know, thank God
468
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:39,266
Amy finally found a
good man like Martin.
469
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,602
Martin is a-a good boy now,
470
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:44,146
but you should've seen
him back in the day.
471
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,564
He was so awesome.
472
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,774
What did he do?
473
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,233
Like, work at a soup kitchen?
474
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,902
No, he would get,
like, blackout drunk
475
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,529
and become a character.
476
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:55,908
It's hard to explain.
I-I can show you a video.
477
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,576
This is Lawrence.
478
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,453
He was so much more
than just a voice
479
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,663
Martin would do
when he was drunk.
480
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,123
He was fearless.
481
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,292
Like when the dean tried
to shut down our party,
482
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,628
- Lawrence beat his ass.
- (glass breaking)
483
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:09,338
And when my professor
tried to fail me,
484
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,298
- Lawrence beat his ass.
- (glass breaking)
485
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:14,843
And when a lunch lady banned
him from the cafeteria,
486
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,930
Lawrence dated her for
three beautiful months,
487
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,431
until her husband found out.
488
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,767
- And then he beat his ass.
- (glass breaking)
489
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,519
And when Martin met Amy,
490
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,772
he vowed to never
become Lawrence again.
491
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,066
- So, that's that.
- Oh.
492
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,526
Thank God people change.
493
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:34,988
You know, life is full
of mountains and valleys.
494
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,615
MALE VOICE: Valleys.-BEN:
That's not what I'm saying.
495
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,826
Dad, I'm sorry.
496
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,327
It's so important to have
497
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,704
- that moral compass.
- MALE VOICE: Compass.
498
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:43,288
Not to mention the fact
499
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,290
- that he's going to treasure
- MALE VOICE: Treasure.
500
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,709
- All of the friends
- MALE VOICE: Friends.
501
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,211
That he makes here.
502
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,468
Mountain, compass,
treasure, friends.
503
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,304
Mountain, compass,
treasure, friends.
504
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,474
Mountain, compass,
treasure, friends.
505
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,143
Mountain, compass,
compass, friends,
506
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,477
friends, treasure,
treasure, friends.
507
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,521
Mountain, compass, compass...
508
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,273
I got to go!
509
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,358
(people gasping, murmuring)
510
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,569
Get your fucking hands off me!
511
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,239
Sorry. Sorry.
512
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,534
(breathing heavily)
513
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,164
Dude, he ruined the
baptism after-party.
514
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,498
He didn't ruin it, man.
515
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,500
- It was still cool.
- No, he's losing it.
516
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:31,170
He's always alone in the
house doing the saddest shit.
517
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,172
- It's depressing.
- Yeah, I-I'm with you, man.
518
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,674
I'm... I think, though, he's
just going through something,
519
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,509
but in general,
he's totally fine.
520
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,844
Oh, hello.
521
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,430
Oh, man.
-I was just taking an evening bath.
522
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,349
- With your computer?
- Yes.
523
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,184
Doing research.
524
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,227
While I was at the
baptism reception today,
525
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:49,730
I came upon an
enlightening discovery.
526
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,774
- Why are you talking like that?
- Guys, I think
527
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,442
I know where the treasure
of Foggy Mountain is,
528
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,444
and I think we should go get it.
529
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:57,196
The treasure of Foggy Mountain?
530
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,614
Like from when we were kids?
531
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:02,242
It all started when I saw
a TikTok about this guy.
532
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,661
Deetch Nordwind.
533
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:05,997
Whoa.
534
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:10,000
You have like 40 tabs open?
What are you doing, man?
535
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,960
JOHN: Well, that's how much
research I've been doing.
536
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:14,588
Well, a lot of these are
clips from Jennifer's Body.
537
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,715
- Is that part of the research?
- Um...
538
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,592
You could just rent the movie at that point.
-Yeah.
539
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:20,886
Enough, please. Can we just
go back to the first one?
540
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,596
This is very important.
541
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,515
The treasure Deetch
was after was hidden
542
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:27,559
by a French naval explorer
named Jean Pierre Le Roche.
543
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,727
"J.L."
544
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,563
This was Jean Pierre
Le Roche's insignia.
545
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:35,901
Our compass that we found
as kids is a treasure map.
546
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,945
Here, check this out.
547
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,906
It aligns perfectly.
548
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,408
- Huh.
- And in my research,
549
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:45,160
I found out that he hid it
in some kind of chamber,
550
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,912
but nobody's been
able to find it.
551
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,330
What's that?
552
00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:49,873
Looks like a chamber.
553
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,291
This is real?
554
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,585
Ben, can you imagine
what your dad would say
555
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,587
if you found the treasure
of Foggy Mountain?
556
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,673
I guarantee you he
will look at you
557
00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,758
like he's never
looked at you before.
558
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,386
And, Mart, Amy's 25.
559
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,637
That's like 62 in
Christian years.
560
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,431
- At least.
- If it was up to her,
561
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,307
she would have like
12 kids by now.
562
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,559
You can't afford 12 kids.
563
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,769
No. I'd have to
feed 'em dog food.
564
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,438
- Yeah.
- Or hay.
565
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:15,399
Or you feed 'em steak and caviar
like babies should be fed.
566
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,401
You could with a hundred mil.
567
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,361
- What?
- A hundred million dollars?
568
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:22,448
We are sitting here on
this warm summer night
569
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:25,869
looking at the key to
changing our lives.
570
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:28,997
What are we waiting for?
571
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:33,376
♪ ♪
572
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,838
ALL: Hey! Oh!
573
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:40,466
Hey! Oh! Hey!
574
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,134
- (horn honks, tires squealing)
- (all exclaiming)
575
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:44,595
Oh, shit.
-DRIVER: I hope your friendship falls apart!
576
00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:46,430
- What did he just say?
- We're good. We're good.
577
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,266
Oh, snap. Brought
the Lawrence shades.
578
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:51,560
BEN: Oh, my God!
Come on, Mart.
579
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:53,270
Is L-Man coming out to play?
580
00:21:53,271 --> 00:21:54,563
Hey, can you not, man?
581
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:57,066
Last time I was
Lawrence was a disaster.
582
00:21:57,067 --> 00:21:58,484
The cops said, if I'm even seen
583
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,319
on a roof again, they
can shoot to kill.
584
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,196
JOHN: You know what,
man, just forget it.
585
00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:03,739
I'm sorry I brought it up.
586
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:06,158
NARRATOR: John just
hoped this trip could
587
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,535
remind his friends why they
made such a great team.
588
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:09,870
MARTIN: Whoo!
589
00:22:09,871 --> 00:22:12,039
NARRATOR: By the
way, I'm John Goodman
590
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,125
from The Big Lebowski
and a ton of other shit.
591
00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:16,544
Anyhoo...
592
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:21,006
Well, well, well. What
do we have here, Lisa?
593
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,717
I wonder who threw the
illegal gender reveal party
594
00:22:23,718 --> 00:22:25,511
that caused a small forest fire.
595
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,012
- Hmm.
- I don't know, Lisa.
596
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,473
I wonder who could it
possibly have been.
597
00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:31,183
Come on, guys. Fess up.
598
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,601
Which one of you weirdos did it?
599
00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:33,852
Are you kidding me, man?
600
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,354
- Huh?
- You look like you've been
601
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:36,939
getting your face
ridden by an Avatar.
602
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:38,357
- Just bustin'.
- Mm-hmm.
603
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:40,652
Whoa.
604
00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,195
BEN: Whoa. You
guys all in line?
605
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:46,198
Oh, snap. Why is
this guy all blue?
606
00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:48,117
I'm having a baby boy!
607
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:49,785
(both exclaiming)
608
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,245
Congrats, buddy.
609
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:53,497
Hey. Can I get you something to drink?
-(both laugh)
610
00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:55,124
Like if I was a
waiter. I'm not.
611
00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:56,250
(both laughing)
612
00:22:56,251 --> 00:22:57,668
- But you do work here?
- Yes.
613
00:22:57,669 --> 00:22:59,211
I was wondering if
you, uh, could point us
614
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:00,796
in kind of like a direction
where we could go see,
615
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,381
like, a cool, like,
site or, like,
616
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,549
- vista or something.
- Oh, my God. Yeah.
617
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:04,883
But it has to be
along this trail...
618
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,427
Sorry, am I, like,
leaning in on you?
619
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:08,053
- No, no, no, no. It's okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
620
00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:09,388
Let me just take a look.
621
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:11,140
- What is that?
- JOHN: Don't tell anybody.
622
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:14,059
We are, um, going to hunt for
the treasure of Foggy Mountain.
623
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,395
- (laughing): Wait, what?
- I swear to God, yeah.
624
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:18,397
- Shut up.
- I know.
625
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,815
Our friendship was kind of...
626
00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,442
- We needed a little juice.
- Yeah.
627
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:22,693
Maybe you guys
could've just went
628
00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:24,069
to Dave & Buster's or something.
629
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,237
Can I give you some advice,
630
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:26,530
- man, about fatherhood?
- Please.
631
00:23:26,531 --> 00:23:28,073
Never cheat on your
son with another boy.
632
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:30,409
- I'm gonna remember that one.
- John, come on, let's go.
633
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:31,744
All right, I'm coming.
634
00:23:31,745 --> 00:23:33,746
Uh, it was nice meeting you.
635
00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:35,581
Bye.
636
00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:37,583
("Sooner or Later" by
The Grass Roots playing)
637
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:39,461
- Oh, wow.
- Wow.
638
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,254
- Oh, my God, horses.
- A horse.
639
00:23:42,255 --> 00:23:44,256
- Yeah, give us a lasso.
- Hey!
640
00:23:44,257 --> 00:23:46,091
Come on, give us a lasso.
641
00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:47,217
(all exclaiming)
642
00:23:47,218 --> 00:23:49,678
ALL: Left, right, left...
643
00:23:49,679 --> 00:23:51,680
JOHN: I haven't been outside
this long in like 15 years.
644
00:23:51,681 --> 00:23:53,098
BEN: Yeah, neither have I.
645
00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,433
{\an8}I had one of these as a kid.
646
00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:56,268
{\an8}- Oh, he's on the belly!
- Oh, on the belly!
647
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,728
Ew, dude. What are you eating?
648
00:23:57,729 --> 00:23:59,772
They're smoochies.
Amy makes 'em.
649
00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:01,315
Smoochies?
650
00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:02,608
What's in it?
651
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:04,026
It's mostly wheat
germ and pitted dates.
652
00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:05,277
That sounds like shit,
and those look like
653
00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,612
- little turds.
- Ben.
654
00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:08,238
- Dude, they're the best.
- JOHN: Come on.
655
00:24:08,239 --> 00:24:09,281
- Stop eating it.
- Mart.
656
00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:10,741
Dude, IMAX on a phone, like,
657
00:24:10,742 --> 00:24:12,743
- isn't that bad.
- Yeah, you're so right.
658
00:24:12,744 --> 00:24:14,787
Jennifer's Body is
kind of amazing.
659
00:24:14,788 --> 00:24:16,789
♪ Girl, you got to give in ♪
660
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:19,375
♪ Sooner or later... ♪
661
00:24:19,376 --> 00:24:21,919
I hate this job.
662
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,129
We have had, what, like 12 jobs?
663
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:26,965
Like, day care, caterer.
664
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,134
Then we were bus
drivers together.
665
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,469
Wish we had no jobs.
666
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:31,804
Wish were out there
searching for treasure
667
00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:33,765
like those guys
with a treasure map.
668
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:35,849
- Treasure map?
- Yeah.
669
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,059
The cute guys that
came in earlier...
670
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:38,686
the, like, model
and his bodyguards.
671
00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:40,312
I didn't see nobody cute.
672
00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:41,647
I had chemistry
with one of them,
673
00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:43,232
but I don't know,
I wouldn't hook...
674
00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:45,776
I don't want to hook up.
I don't even know the guy.
675
00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:47,569
(laughing): I'm not...
I don't know him!
676
00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:51,657
Cute? The ginger one looked
like a colonial ghost.
677
00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:54,785
The one with glasses, he looked
like Tim Burton drew him.
678
00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:56,870
And then the short one, he
got titties bigger than mine.
679
00:24:56,871 --> 00:24:58,330
We probably wear
the same size bra.
680
00:24:58,331 --> 00:24:59,623
They had a treasure map.
681
00:24:59,624 --> 00:25:01,500
They treasure map with,
like, an "X" on it.
682
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:03,210
We should follow them.
683
00:25:03,211 --> 00:25:05,170
Okay, people always look for
the treasure of Foggy Mountain,
684
00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:07,172
- but they don't find it.
- Come on, Lisa.
685
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:09,009
We gonna steal that map.
686
00:25:11,636 --> 00:25:13,554
(birds chirping)
687
00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:15,223
(insect buzzing)
688
00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:21,478
(loud, shrill honk)
689
00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:22,563
- Come on, dude.
- Oh, my God.
690
00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:23,897
- What?
- What was that?
691
00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:25,524
- What was that?
- It's a birdcall, man.
692
00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:27,359
I'm trying to get good
at this stuff, okay?
693
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,944
It sounds like a guy screaming.
694
00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,612
It feels like you should
just be able to blow into it.
695
00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:32,114
Like, it doesn't seem
like a complicated...
696
00:25:32,115 --> 00:25:33,991
- (loud, shrill honk)
- Stop it, man. -Oh, my God.
697
00:25:33,992 --> 00:25:35,534
What is happening?
-How are you so bad at that, though?
698
00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:37,369
I don't know, man.
It's frustrating to me.
699
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:39,247
(wings fluttering)
700
00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:43,500
It worked.
701
00:25:43,501 --> 00:25:45,210
- Oh, my God.
- Holy shit.
702
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:46,712
That is a full-ass hawk.
703
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:48,881
BEN: Oh, my God. Okay.
704
00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:51,050
- Sort of glaring at us.
- JOHN: Yeah, you see that?
705
00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:52,718
- Maybe we head out.
- Yeah, maybe we...
706
00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:54,887
Yep. Bye, little girlie.
707
00:25:54,888 --> 00:25:56,388
See ya.
708
00:25:56,389 --> 00:25:57,723
Can't believe that
we saw a hawk.
709
00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:59,141
- Yeah. That's cool.
- I know, man.
710
00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:00,434
Yeah.
711
00:26:00,435 --> 00:26:03,354
♪ ♪
712
00:26:03,355 --> 00:26:05,147
Is it following us?
713
00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:07,149
Feels like it is.
714
00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:09,277
What's going on here?
715
00:26:11,488 --> 00:26:12,946
Think it's just
walking. It's all good.
716
00:26:12,947 --> 00:26:15,075
I think it looks
like it's hunting us.
717
00:26:16,326 --> 00:26:18,953
Well, why don't we just pick it up a little?
-Yes, sir.
718
00:26:20,872 --> 00:26:22,373
- Oh, my God. Go, go, go!
- Go! Go!
719
00:26:22,374 --> 00:26:23,749
Go! Go to the rock!
720
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,250
Go, go! Fucking traverse it!
721
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:26,543
- Okay.
- Traverse the rock!
722
00:26:26,544 --> 00:26:29,129
Wait, stop! Stop it! Stop!
723
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,632
(screams)
724
00:26:32,967 --> 00:26:34,927
Does it not know it can fly?
725
00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:36,762
- What? Ew, dude.
- Oh, yuck.
726
00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:38,972
BEN: What a little
fucking weirdo.
727
00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:41,141
JOHN: Why did it walk
away with an attitude?
728
00:26:41,142 --> 00:26:42,810
- Fuck, man. Jesus.
- Mart, that was scary, buddy.
729
00:26:42,811 --> 00:26:44,770
- That was very scary.
- Holy hell.
730
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:46,105
(birds chirping)
731
00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:47,856
JOHN: How unbelievable, dude.
732
00:26:47,857 --> 00:26:49,608
- So beautiful.
- BEN: Mm.
733
00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:51,735
Just us, Mother Nature.
734
00:26:51,736 --> 00:26:54,405
- This ain't half bad.
- Yeah.
735
00:26:54,406 --> 00:26:56,281
- Hey!
- Oh, my God. -Oh!
736
00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:57,991
You boys got a camping permit?
737
00:26:57,992 --> 00:26:59,618
- Uh, not...
- Ben said he had one.
738
00:26:59,619 --> 00:27:01,995
I ha... I might have
it on-on my phone.
739
00:27:01,996 --> 00:27:03,956
Chill, boys. We're
messing with you.
740
00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:06,667
(chuckles) Do you
guys want a drink,
741
00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:08,920
or should I go fuck myself?
742
00:27:09,671 --> 00:27:11,005
- A drink.
- Yeah, a drink.
743
00:27:11,006 --> 00:27:12,047
- Yeah, let's do a drink.
- Let's do a drink.
744
00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:13,674
(indistinct chatter, laughter)
745
00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:15,634
("Ghost" by The Most
Distant Object playing)
746
00:27:15,635 --> 00:27:17,302
Try to flip it.
747
00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:19,722
(all exclaiming)
748
00:27:19,723 --> 00:27:21,306
Uh, okay. Oh.
749
00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:22,725
(whimpers) I'm sad.
750
00:27:22,726 --> 00:27:24,184
- Manchester by the Sea.
- Yeah.
751
00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:26,979
Okay, um, literally
scariest movie of all time.
752
00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:28,814
- The Grinch.
- Are you guys seeing this?
753
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:31,483
I can't believe we just did that.
-Is that not amazing?
754
00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:32,776
And time. Zero points.
755
00:27:32,777 --> 00:27:34,236
You guys are not
allowed to talk.
756
00:27:34,237 --> 00:27:36,822
- Oh. I always forget that.
- Oh. It's charades.
757
00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:39,867
Okay, well, since we done
and y'all got zero points,
758
00:27:39,868 --> 00:27:41,493
let's talk about something else.
759
00:27:41,494 --> 00:27:43,287
Let's talk about the treasure...
760
00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:44,705
Dinner is served.
761
00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:46,040
Who's hungry, y'all?
762
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:48,500
Whew-ee, I hope I did it right.
763
00:27:48,501 --> 00:27:49,918
I think I did, probably.
764
00:27:49,919 --> 00:27:51,920
Oh, the head's still
intact, if anyone...
765
00:27:51,921 --> 00:27:53,505
- LISA: Oh.
- It's a delicacy.
766
00:27:53,506 --> 00:27:54,883
Dude, don't eat it.
767
00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:58,010
- (crunching)
- Mmm.
768
00:27:58,011 --> 00:28:00,137
Interesting flavor palette.
769
00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:02,806
It's, like, hard on the outside
but so raw on the inside.
770
00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:04,683
Good, though. I
think that's right.
771
00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:06,352
You were really, really good.
772
00:28:06,353 --> 00:28:08,062
- Hey, Lisa.
- Yeah?
773
00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:10,773
Hey, can I talk to you over
here, just me and you, please?
774
00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:11,899
Oh. (chuckles, clears throat)
775
00:28:11,900 --> 00:28:13,233
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
776
00:28:13,234 --> 00:28:15,403
- Cool.
- Lisa.
777
00:28:16,404 --> 00:28:17,696
You guys see that?
778
00:28:17,697 --> 00:28:19,031
She's flirting with me.
779
00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:20,699
Dude, you guys were vibing.
780
00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:22,868
We're not even here for that.
Like, this isn't a sex trip.
781
00:28:22,869 --> 00:28:24,828
But when's the next time we
are gonna take a sex trip?
782
00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:26,747
- I don't know.
- Did you hear that?
783
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:28,123
John thinks The
Grinch is scary, too.
784
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:29,792
It's like, yeah, just
'cause it's a Christmas
785
00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:31,168
doesn't mean he's not a monster.
786
00:28:31,169 --> 00:28:32,670
Yeah. Lisa, Lisa, I
need you to focus, okay?
787
00:28:32,671 --> 00:28:33,879
We are here for one thing
788
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,714
and one thing only,
and that is...
789
00:28:35,715 --> 00:28:37,007
- To hook up.
- To get the treasure map.
790
00:28:37,008 --> 00:28:38,717
- Okay.
- It's to get the treasure map.
791
00:28:38,718 --> 00:28:40,386
Lisa, I need you to focus, okay?
-Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm...
792
00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:42,012
You know what? No, I'm not
prepared for this, man.
793
00:28:42,013 --> 00:28:43,389
- Come on. Why?
- No, I'm not.
794
00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:46,016
God, I've never trimmed my bush.
795
00:28:46,017 --> 00:28:47,559
It's like, what am I gonna do?
796
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,311
I thought you were gonna
say a whole list of things.
797
00:28:49,312 --> 00:28:50,813
You go in there in
the tent with John,
798
00:28:50,814 --> 00:28:52,356
you get the treasure map...
799
00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:54,441
And if we hook up, it's
like, okay, we hooked up.
800
00:28:54,442 --> 00:28:56,485
I don't care if you're
hooking up, mid-hookup.
801
00:28:56,486 --> 00:28:58,237
- You can be grabbing...
- Grabbing the treasure map.
802
00:28:58,238 --> 00:28:59,822
The treasure map. That's fine.
803
00:28:59,823 --> 00:29:02,117
Lisa, don't let me
down, okay? I need you.
804
00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:04,910
So, what are we, um...
805
00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:07,246
Wh-Why are we in here?
806
00:29:07,247 --> 00:29:08,831
What do you mean?
807
00:29:08,832 --> 00:29:10,124
No, I just...
808
00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:11,583
There's a party
going on out there,
809
00:29:11,584 --> 00:29:13,043
- and now we're in this tent.
- Yeah.
810
00:29:13,044 --> 00:29:15,587
But I-I mean, I'm not mad. I...
811
00:29:15,588 --> 00:29:18,048
Just funny, like, I feel like
I should be, like, nervous,
812
00:29:18,049 --> 00:29:20,969
but, like, I... yeah,
I feel like I like you.
813
00:29:22,470 --> 00:29:24,471
- Oh.
- (chuckles)
814
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:26,265
Well, I like you.
815
00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:27,516
(both laughing)
816
00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:29,310
We're on a date.
817
00:29:30,478 --> 00:29:32,063
Taylor, truth or dare?
818
00:29:35,358 --> 00:29:36,817
Truth.
819
00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:38,987
What is your worst
memory, like, ever?
820
00:29:40,196 --> 00:29:42,156
So, wait, what are
the rules again?
821
00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:44,616
Okay, so the game is you have
to sing as earnest as you can,
822
00:29:44,617 --> 00:29:45,909
and it has to be
an original song.
823
00:29:45,910 --> 00:29:47,286
- You...
- No jokes.
824
00:29:47,287 --> 00:29:48,912
- Okay. Okay, but you go first.
- No funny voice.
825
00:29:48,913 --> 00:29:50,122
- You go first. You go first.
- Okay.
826
00:29:50,123 --> 00:29:53,042
♪ Boy, you got me going crazy ♪
827
00:29:53,043 --> 00:29:55,044
♪ You're making me feel loco ♪
828
00:29:55,045 --> 00:29:56,754
♪ Sexual seduction ♪
829
00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:58,464
♪ That's what I like ♪
830
00:29:58,465 --> 00:30:01,675
♪ You know what, you can't
guess where my underwear is ♪
831
00:30:01,676 --> 00:30:03,844
♪ I've hid 'em in this room ♪
832
00:30:03,845 --> 00:30:05,763
♪ You better find them ♪
833
00:30:05,764 --> 00:30:07,891
♪ Here's a broom. ♪
834
00:30:08,933 --> 00:30:09,975
To find them.
835
00:30:09,976 --> 00:30:11,727
(laughing): Oh, my God.
836
00:30:11,728 --> 00:30:13,645
That's, like, something
I'm working on.
837
00:30:13,646 --> 00:30:14,813
- Now you go.
- You're gonna make fun.
838
00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:16,857
- It's embarrassing.
- Okay.
839
00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:18,610
♪ You always on my mind ♪
840
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,780
{\an8}♪ I'm running out
of time, girl ♪
841
00:30:22,781 --> 00:30:25,783
♪ She smoking on all I like ♪
842
00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:27,201
♪ Smoking all day, all night ♪
843
00:30:27,202 --> 00:30:31,497
♪ And I say, "Quit
that, put it down now" ♪
844
00:30:31,498 --> 00:30:33,957
♪ But she doesn't,
so I go over there ♪
845
00:30:33,958 --> 00:30:35,668
♪ So I go over to
brush her hair ♪
846
00:30:35,669 --> 00:30:39,631
♪ She says, "Get off of me,
you left me months ago." ♪
847
00:30:40,632 --> 00:30:42,383
(both laughing)
848
00:30:42,384 --> 00:30:44,343
LISA: I definitely
believe in God.
849
00:30:44,344 --> 00:30:45,636
JOHN: Mm.
850
00:30:45,637 --> 00:30:47,179
Do you have a good
relationship with your dad?
851
00:30:47,180 --> 00:30:48,514
- No.
- See, I told you,
852
00:30:48,515 --> 00:30:50,015
you look so good with
your hair slicked back.
853
00:30:50,016 --> 00:30:51,266
I don't think that
it looks good.
854
00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:52,726
I don't think I can pull it off.
855
00:30:52,727 --> 00:30:53,936
(laughing): It
looks really good.
856
00:30:53,937 --> 00:30:55,604
You're, like, the hottest guy.
857
00:30:55,605 --> 00:30:58,065
- Are you serious?
- Mm, yeah.
858
00:30:58,066 --> 00:30:59,983
Hotter than Johnny Knoxville?
859
00:30:59,984 --> 00:31:01,860
Yeah. Definitely.
860
00:31:01,861 --> 00:31:04,196
- What about Steve-O?
- Yeah.
861
00:31:04,197 --> 00:31:06,448
And he's, like, my
ultimate celebrity crush.
862
00:31:06,449 --> 00:31:08,117
That feels good. (laughs)
863
00:31:08,118 --> 00:31:10,828
So you know how older
ladies have this great place
864
00:31:10,829 --> 00:31:12,871
where they can come
and socialize and gab?
865
00:31:12,872 --> 00:31:14,873
And so I got to thinking,
866
00:31:14,874 --> 00:31:16,834
why don't little boys
have a place like that?
867
00:31:16,835 --> 00:31:18,877
Why is it just little
boys? I'm confused.
868
00:31:18,878 --> 00:31:20,462
This would just be
little boys and Ben.
869
00:31:20,463 --> 00:31:22,548
You sound like you got a
little Never Neverland crackin'
870
00:31:22,549 --> 00:31:24,425
but you get a haircut at the end.
-BOTH: No, no, no.
871
00:31:24,426 --> 00:31:26,136
Hold it really tight.
872
00:31:27,262 --> 00:31:28,429
(laughing)
873
00:31:28,430 --> 00:31:29,722
Three of hearts.
874
00:31:29,723 --> 00:31:31,348
Oh, my God.
875
00:31:31,349 --> 00:31:33,767
What is the saddest thought
you can think of right now?
876
00:31:33,768 --> 00:31:36,729
My grandma will never make
out with anyone ever again.
877
00:31:36,730 --> 00:31:39,356
That's so sweet that that's
your saddest thought.
878
00:31:39,357 --> 00:31:42,360
("Fade into You" by
Mazzy Star playing)
879
00:31:44,112 --> 00:31:46,488
- I didn't fart once, okay?
- TAYLOR: I can smell it.
880
00:31:46,489 --> 00:31:49,283
You farted your ass all the way
around this goddamn campsite.
881
00:31:49,284 --> 00:31:51,160
He did not fart his ass all the way around.
-I didn't...
882
00:31:51,161 --> 00:31:53,370
I... Sometimes it
smells outside.
883
00:31:53,371 --> 00:31:54,747
Smell like bussy.
884
00:31:54,748 --> 00:31:56,915
It... it doesn't
smell like bussy.
885
00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:59,377
- TAYLOR: Okay.
- What's... what's bussy?
886
00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:02,880
I don't want this night to
end, but I'm getting sleepy.
887
00:32:02,881 --> 00:32:05,133
Yeah. Me, too.
888
00:32:05,925 --> 00:32:08,427
This was really, really nice.
889
00:32:08,428 --> 00:32:10,555
♪ ♪
890
00:32:17,145 --> 00:32:19,397
- (song stops)
- (birds chirping)
891
00:32:25,028 --> 00:32:26,278
Hey, y'all.
892
00:32:26,279 --> 00:32:28,490
- (muffled shouting)
- (John chuckles)
893
00:32:29,699 --> 00:32:31,116
Guys, why are we tied up?
894
00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:33,452
- (muffled shouting)
- I'm coming. I'm coming.
895
00:32:33,453 --> 00:32:34,745
(grunts)
896
00:32:34,746 --> 00:32:36,498
(muffled shouting continues)
897
00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:40,125
(yelling)
898
00:32:40,126 --> 00:32:41,627
- What happened?
- Those mean ladies tied us up
899
00:32:41,628 --> 00:32:42,878
and stole all our shit.
900
00:32:42,879 --> 00:32:44,546
- What?
- (yells)
901
00:32:44,547 --> 00:32:46,298
Get us out of here! It's like
a million fucking degrees!
902
00:32:46,299 --> 00:32:47,841
You guys, I'm
gonna use my mouth.
903
00:32:47,842 --> 00:32:49,635
(yells) I'm free!
904
00:32:49,636 --> 00:32:51,220
(all gasping, groaning)
905
00:32:51,221 --> 00:32:53,305
- Dude, you slept so late.
- It's 2:00!
906
00:32:53,306 --> 00:32:54,682
What the hell happened?
907
00:32:54,683 --> 00:32:56,934
Taylor tied us up, and
Lisa stole the map.
908
00:32:56,935 --> 00:32:58,936
Wait, what? No, she didn't.
909
00:32:58,937 --> 00:33:00,104
Yeah. Kiss the treasure goodbye.
910
00:33:00,105 --> 00:33:02,773
(scoffs) I got love-bombed?
911
00:33:02,774 --> 00:33:04,149
- Wh-What?
- What?
912
00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:05,984
- I'm going to bed.
- BOTH: Don't go to bed.
913
00:33:05,985 --> 00:33:07,820
I'm sorry you got love-bombed.
I think we shouldn't give up.
914
00:33:07,821 --> 00:33:10,656
Is there anything else that
we have or could use...
915
00:33:10,657 --> 00:33:11,990
So uncomfortable, dude.
916
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:13,659
I'm trying to sleep
in a bunch of dirt.
917
00:33:13,660 --> 00:33:15,285
Yeah, and you slept like 13 hours, man!
-You guys?
918
00:33:15,286 --> 00:33:16,995
Shut up!
-Do we still have the compass? The...
919
00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:18,831
- Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Maybe we can make another map.
920
00:33:18,832 --> 00:33:20,708
Oh, great. We have
a useless compass.
921
00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:23,168
- What are you talking about?
- It doesn't point north.
922
00:33:23,169 --> 00:33:25,004
It just points to the
middle of the woods.
923
00:33:25,005 --> 00:33:27,674
It always has. That's why
I put a picture on it.
924
00:33:29,718 --> 00:33:31,010
BEN: Wait, wait, John.
925
00:33:31,011 --> 00:33:32,469
Ha-Have you looked
at this in a while?
926
00:33:32,470 --> 00:33:36,141
"Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find"?
927
00:33:38,727 --> 00:33:40,436
"Let me be your guide..."
928
00:33:40,437 --> 00:33:41,895
Yeah, and it's not
pointing north.
929
00:33:41,896 --> 00:33:44,023
"and riches you will find"?
930
00:33:44,024 --> 00:33:45,691
So, where is it pointing, John?
931
00:33:45,692 --> 00:33:47,568
I think that that's
pointing to the treasure.
932
00:33:47,569 --> 00:33:49,153
- That's what we said.
- That's what we were saying.
933
00:33:49,154 --> 00:33:50,696
- We figured that out.
- Oh, my God, dude!
934
00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:51,864
"Let me be your guide..."
935
00:33:51,865 --> 00:33:53,365
ALL: "And riches
you will find."
936
00:33:53,366 --> 00:33:55,034
"Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."
937
00:33:55,035 --> 00:33:56,535
Those rangers think
they can mess with me?
938
00:33:56,536 --> 00:33:59,621
- BOTH: Uh-uh!
- I don't think so, Lisa!
939
00:33:59,622 --> 00:34:01,457
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, John, John.
940
00:34:01,458 --> 00:34:03,083
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
-It's just hard.
941
00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:04,335
- It's really... it's a lot.
- It was recent,
942
00:34:04,336 --> 00:34:05,544
and I really
genuinely liked her.
943
00:34:05,545 --> 00:34:07,129
- Aw.
- You know what we got to do?
944
00:34:07,130 --> 00:34:08,756
- Get there first. Whoo!
- Yes.
945
00:34:08,757 --> 00:34:11,216
ALL: "Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."
946
00:34:11,217 --> 00:34:13,218
"Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."
947
00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:14,720
(Taylor and Lisa whooping)
948
00:34:14,721 --> 00:34:16,096
Who stole their treasure map?
949
00:34:16,097 --> 00:34:17,639
BOTH: We did!
950
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,808
- Yeah, fuck those guys!
- I do feel guilty, though.
951
00:34:19,809 --> 00:34:21,935
- I really connected with John.
- Which one was John?
952
00:34:21,936 --> 00:34:24,897
Oh, the one that looked like
Danny DeVito got a glow-up.
953
00:34:24,898 --> 00:34:26,357
Right. Who gives a fuck?
954
00:34:26,358 --> 00:34:28,317
We're millionaires. We
can get any man we want.
955
00:34:28,318 --> 00:34:30,612
- Hey, Method Man!
- Hi, John!
956
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,281
Grisham, the writer.
957
00:34:34,282 --> 00:34:36,408
Have you read The Firm?
I couldn't put it down.
958
00:34:36,409 --> 00:34:38,494
TAYLOR: I don't want to
talk about John Grisham.
959
00:34:38,495 --> 00:34:40,496
(wind whistling)
960
00:34:40,497 --> 00:34:42,624
(birds cawing)
961
00:34:44,042 --> 00:34:46,211
So, the treasure's that way.
962
00:34:47,170 --> 00:34:49,464
♪ ♪
963
00:34:53,510 --> 00:34:56,261
Well, I mean, how are
we gonna cross this?
964
00:34:56,262 --> 00:34:58,097
I mean, we could try to
find, like, another route.
965
00:34:58,098 --> 00:35:00,265
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Guys?
966
00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:02,268
I have a good idea.
967
00:35:02,894 --> 00:35:04,478
♪ ♪
968
00:35:04,479 --> 00:35:06,021
Wingsuits.
969
00:35:06,022 --> 00:35:07,773
Dude, what?
970
00:35:07,774 --> 00:35:09,483
We're gonna fly over that?
971
00:35:09,484 --> 00:35:11,318
We do it all the
time in the machine.
972
00:35:11,319 --> 00:35:13,654
- This is not a machine.
- Guys...
973
00:35:13,655 --> 00:35:15,448
I'm doing it.
974
00:35:16,449 --> 00:35:17,617
Come on!
975
00:35:20,412 --> 00:35:21,787
Are you sure you
want to do this?
976
00:35:21,788 --> 00:35:24,289
It feels like it's
getting extremely windy.
977
00:35:24,290 --> 00:35:25,666
I just need you guys
to trust me, okay?
978
00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:27,292
You know what? Go
ahead and film me,
979
00:35:27,293 --> 00:35:28,669
'cause I'm pretty
sure my old man
980
00:35:28,670 --> 00:35:30,796
is gonna want to see
his boy in action.
981
00:35:30,797 --> 00:35:32,297
Okay.
982
00:35:32,298 --> 00:35:34,508
Oh, my God, it is steep.
983
00:35:34,509 --> 00:35:37,302
(screaming)
984
00:35:37,303 --> 00:35:39,930
- Oh, my God!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
985
00:35:39,931 --> 00:35:42,224
- Ben!
- (screaming)
986
00:35:42,225 --> 00:35:44,309
Ben, you're like a kite!
987
00:35:44,310 --> 00:35:47,146
- What?
- You're like my kite, Ben.
988
00:35:47,147 --> 00:35:49,399
I feel like I'm at
the beach right now.
989
00:35:50,191 --> 00:35:52,151
Oh, like a kite!
990
00:35:52,152 --> 00:35:53,986
(screaming)
991
00:35:53,987 --> 00:35:56,238
- John, cut the video.
- Got it.
992
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:57,364
(cell phone whooshes)
993
00:35:57,365 --> 00:35:59,158
I sent it to your dad.
994
00:35:59,159 --> 00:36:00,617
I'm sorry.
995
00:36:00,618 --> 00:36:01,536
What? No!
996
00:36:01,537 --> 00:36:02,870
- Shit.
- Are you kidding me?
997
00:36:02,871 --> 00:36:04,204
- Ben!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
998
00:36:04,205 --> 00:36:05,497
(screaming)
999
00:36:05,498 --> 00:36:07,499
Ben, you're taking
me up with you!
1000
00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:09,376
- Oh, no! No, stop!
- The cliff!
1001
00:36:09,377 --> 00:36:10,753
- The cliff!
- No, stop, stop!
1002
00:36:10,754 --> 00:36:13,381
- No!
- (screaming)
1003
00:36:14,758 --> 00:36:16,843
(wind whistling)
1004
00:36:19,095 --> 00:36:20,804
(birds chirping)
1005
00:36:20,805 --> 00:36:22,264
(all groaning)
1006
00:36:22,265 --> 00:36:23,682
JOHN: Oh, my God, is everyone okay?
-MARTIN: Ow.
1007
00:36:23,683 --> 00:36:25,559
- MARTIN: No, dude, that hurt.
- JOHN: Dudes?
1008
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,186
I did seriously bruise my taint.
1009
00:36:27,187 --> 00:36:28,604
MARTIN: We almost died.
1010
00:36:28,605 --> 00:36:30,356
And there are fucking
ants in this tree.
1011
00:36:30,357 --> 00:36:32,483
Well, you miss 100% of the
shots you don't take, man.
1012
00:36:32,484 --> 00:36:34,318
Shut up. -Shut up. Shut the fuck up, man.
-No, dude.
1013
00:36:34,319 --> 00:36:37,154
Ben, you failed,
okay? You failed.
1014
00:36:37,155 --> 00:36:38,530
Come on, Martin.
1015
00:36:38,531 --> 00:36:41,241
Dear God, please save me
from this terrible trip
1016
00:36:41,242 --> 00:36:42,826
with my two awful friends.
1017
00:36:42,827 --> 00:36:44,912
Please lead us to the
treasure, and I promise I'll be
1018
00:36:44,913 --> 00:36:48,040
a good Christian like the
Pope or Chance the Rapper.
1019
00:36:48,041 --> 00:36:49,541
Wait. Guys, shut up, shut up.
1020
00:36:49,542 --> 00:36:51,001
MARTIN and BEN: What?
1021
00:36:51,002 --> 00:36:52,462
Dude, look.
1022
00:36:54,381 --> 00:36:57,008
Is-is that the chamber
thing from the compass?
1023
00:36:58,468 --> 00:37:00,386
- MARTIN: Dude, it-it is.
- JOHN: Oh!
1024
00:37:00,387 --> 00:37:02,221
- No way!
- Wow, that's it.
1025
00:37:02,222 --> 00:37:03,806
- We fucking found it!
- Oh, my God.
1026
00:37:03,807 --> 00:37:06,392
ALL: "Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."
1027
00:37:06,393 --> 00:37:08,936
"Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."
1028
00:37:08,937 --> 00:37:11,230
- Dude, I got us here.
- Shut the fuck up.
1029
00:37:11,231 --> 00:37:13,566
♪ ♪
1030
00:37:14,943 --> 00:37:16,903
JOHN: Holy shit, dude.
1031
00:37:17,946 --> 00:37:19,863
Oh, my God.
1032
00:37:19,864 --> 00:37:21,700
How do we get in?
1033
00:37:23,743 --> 00:37:26,036
- JOHN: Um...
- BEN: Wait, yo, yo, yo.
1034
00:37:26,037 --> 00:37:28,414
Do you have the compass?
1035
00:37:28,415 --> 00:37:30,959
- Give-give me the compass.
- The compass. Go, go, go.
1036
00:37:40,176 --> 00:37:42,470
♪ ♪
1037
00:37:47,642 --> 00:37:49,560
BEN: It smells
like bussy in here.
1038
00:37:49,561 --> 00:37:51,895
MARTIN: Dude, don't
start saying that now.
1039
00:37:51,896 --> 00:37:55,441
This must have been where
Le Roche hid before he died.
1040
00:37:55,442 --> 00:37:57,192
(gasps, blows)
1041
00:37:57,193 --> 00:37:58,652
JOHN: Dude, what?
1042
00:37:58,653 --> 00:38:01,071
- It must be here.
- MARTIN: Oh, my God.
1043
00:38:01,072 --> 00:38:02,364
Guys, look.
1044
00:38:02,365 --> 00:38:04,951
That looks like
SpongeBob's door.
1045
00:38:06,745 --> 00:38:08,787
- What?
- Like on his pineapple house.
1046
00:38:08,788 --> 00:38:10,414
Dude, that's-that's
the treasure door.
1047
00:38:10,415 --> 00:38:11,707
That's probably where
the treasure is.
1048
00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:13,500
It's, like, a giant
steel... Open it.
1049
00:38:13,501 --> 00:38:15,794
- Dude, open it.
- (rattling)
1050
00:38:15,795 --> 00:38:17,129
MARTIN: I think it's locked.
1051
00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:18,964
- Is there a key?
- I don't know.
1052
00:38:18,965 --> 00:38:20,799
Okay, obviously, it wasn't
just gonna be open, right?
1053
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,634
Maybe this is like
an escape room.
1054
00:38:22,635 --> 00:38:25,179
Maybe we just have to look
around for a-a key or a clue.
1055
00:38:25,180 --> 00:38:28,016
Use your brains. We
can figure this out.
1056
00:38:29,309 --> 00:38:30,768
Shit.
1057
00:38:30,769 --> 00:38:32,311
Wait.
1058
00:38:32,312 --> 00:38:34,689
Look, under the painting.
1059
00:38:35,482 --> 00:38:38,442
"A treasure too
great for one man.
1060
00:38:38,443 --> 00:38:41,403
"Only a group in harmony can...
1061
00:38:41,404 --> 00:38:43,406
find it."
1062
00:38:44,199 --> 00:38:45,407
Botched the rhyme there.
1063
00:38:45,408 --> 00:38:46,909
You know what that
means, though?
1064
00:38:46,910 --> 00:38:48,327
We have to be in harmony.
1065
00:38:48,328 --> 00:38:49,620
We have to work together.
1066
00:38:49,621 --> 00:38:51,748
- (chuckles softly)
- Of course.
1067
00:38:53,375 --> 00:38:54,918
Dang it.
1068
00:38:57,754 --> 00:39:00,297
I can't believe we
came all this way
1069
00:39:00,298 --> 00:39:02,967
and we can't open the door.
1070
00:39:10,767 --> 00:39:12,935
- (playing piano)
- ♪ Feeling lost ♪
1071
00:39:12,936 --> 00:39:15,522
♪ Feeling tired ♪
1072
00:39:17,649 --> 00:39:22,529
♪ Nowhere to go,
time has expired ♪
1073
00:39:23,738 --> 00:39:25,531
♪ We've reached the end ♪
1074
00:39:25,532 --> 00:39:26,657
(exhales sharply)
1075
00:39:26,658 --> 00:39:29,910
ALL: ♪ And we are sad ♪
1076
00:39:29,911 --> 00:39:31,328
(chuckles) Nice.
1077
00:39:31,329 --> 00:39:32,872
(rattling)
1078
00:39:34,833 --> 00:39:36,542
What was that?
1079
00:39:36,543 --> 00:39:37,960
Did the music open the door?
1080
00:39:37,961 --> 00:39:41,171
As soon as we hit the
harmony, it just came off.
1081
00:39:41,172 --> 00:39:42,423
BEN: "Harmony."
1082
00:39:42,424 --> 00:39:44,967
"Only a group in
harmony can find it."
1083
00:39:44,968 --> 00:39:47,761
They're talking about literal
harmonies. Keep going, John.
1084
00:39:47,762 --> 00:39:49,638
- Keep playing.
- Keep going. Keep going.
1085
00:39:49,639 --> 00:39:53,435
♪ Feeling stressed,
feeling sick ♪
1086
00:39:54,602 --> 00:39:58,063
♪ Nothing's working,
nothing seems to stick ♪
1087
00:39:58,064 --> 00:39:59,314
Hit it, Mart.
1088
00:39:59,315 --> 00:40:01,108
♪ Oh, Le Roche ♪
1089
00:40:01,109 --> 00:40:03,610
♪ Oh, please, monsieur ♪
1090
00:40:03,611 --> 00:40:05,946
ALL: ♪ Help us out ♪
1091
00:40:05,947 --> 00:40:09,283
- ♪ And open le door ♪
- (door clanks)
1092
00:40:09,284 --> 00:40:10,325
(all gasp)
1093
00:40:10,326 --> 00:40:12,578
♪ ♪
1094
00:40:12,579 --> 00:40:16,624
♪ Open le door ♪
1095
00:40:18,043 --> 00:40:21,754
♪ Open le door. ♪
1096
00:40:21,755 --> 00:40:23,882
♪ ♪
1097
00:40:33,308 --> 00:40:35,559
- (vicious snarling)
- (all gasp)
1098
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:36,602
It's an animal! It's an animal!
1099
00:40:36,603 --> 00:40:38,687
Oh, my God, it's an animal!
1100
00:40:38,688 --> 00:40:40,606
(screams) -I'm gonna
be sick to my stomach.
1101
00:40:40,607 --> 00:40:41,982
What was that?
1102
00:40:41,983 --> 00:40:43,650
I think it was, like,
a sick, hairless bear.
1103
00:40:43,651 --> 00:40:45,652
- Why didn't it have any hair?
- I don't know.
1104
00:40:45,653 --> 00:40:47,237
Maybe it got trapped in there.
1105
00:40:47,238 --> 00:40:48,447
I'm done. Forget the money.
1106
00:40:48,448 --> 00:40:49,823
- BEN: Yeah.
- It's not worth it.
1107
00:40:49,824 --> 00:40:51,241
- BEN: No, let's go.
- Wait, wait, wait.
1108
00:40:51,242 --> 00:40:53,036
I have an idea.
1109
00:40:54,662 --> 00:40:57,456
A trail of smoochies...
he'll eat 'em right up.
1110
00:40:57,457 --> 00:40:59,667
JOHN: Oh, dude. Okay.
1111
00:40:59,668 --> 00:41:01,001
- Is this a good idea, man?
- Yeah.
1112
00:41:01,002 --> 00:41:03,212
No one in the world
likes smoochies.
1113
00:41:03,213 --> 00:41:05,631
- I-I'm just saying...
- Okay, everybody, get close.
1114
00:41:05,632 --> 00:41:08,176
He might, like, think
it's his own turds.
1115
00:41:15,642 --> 00:41:17,393
(whispers): Does he
like the smoochies?
1116
00:41:17,394 --> 00:41:20,063
- (vicious snarling)
- (all yelling)
1117
00:41:21,690 --> 00:41:23,524
(screaming)
1118
00:41:23,525 --> 00:41:25,317
(panicked whimpering)
1119
00:41:25,318 --> 00:41:26,485
Martin!
1120
00:41:26,486 --> 00:41:28,570
(all gasping)
1121
00:41:28,571 --> 00:41:29,822
It's following the treasure!
1122
00:41:29,823 --> 00:41:32,074
Why did you throw it to me?
1123
00:41:32,075 --> 00:41:34,743
- (growls)
- (screaming)
1124
00:41:34,744 --> 00:41:36,370
- Food! Food for you!
- BEN: Oh, throw the food!
1125
00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:39,249
Follow the food!
Follow the food!
1126
00:41:41,376 --> 00:41:43,878
(all gasping loudly)
1127
00:41:45,213 --> 00:41:48,674
("Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by
Soulja Boy Tell'em playing)
1128
00:41:48,675 --> 00:41:49,967
- I shit my pants.
- BEN: No.
1129
00:41:49,968 --> 00:41:51,802
Yeah, I fucking
dumped in my pants.
1130
00:41:51,803 --> 00:41:53,512
♪ Soulja Boy off in it, oh ♪
1131
00:41:53,513 --> 00:41:55,347
♪ Watch me crank
it, watch me roll ♪
1132
00:41:55,348 --> 00:41:56,849
♪ Watch me crank
that Soulja Boy ♪
1133
00:41:56,850 --> 00:41:58,684
♪ Then Superman that,
oh, now watch me yuu ♪
1134
00:41:58,685 --> 00:42:00,394
- ♪ Crank that Soulja Boy ♪
- ♪ Now watch ♪
1135
00:42:00,395 --> 00:42:02,062
♪ Soulja Boy off in it, oh ♪
1136
00:42:02,063 --> 00:42:03,689
♪ Watch me crank
it, watch me roll ♪
1137
00:42:03,690 --> 00:42:05,190
♪ Watch me crank
that Soulja Boy ♪
1138
00:42:05,191 --> 00:42:07,693
♪ Then Superman that,
oh, now watch me yuu ♪
1139
00:42:07,694 --> 00:42:09,403
- ♪ Crank that Soulja Boy ♪
- ♪ Now watch me yuu ♪
1140
00:42:09,404 --> 00:42:10,863
- ♪ Crank that Soulja Boy ♪
- ♪ Now watch ♪
1141
00:42:10,864 --> 00:42:12,448
♪ Superman that, oh ♪
1142
00:42:12,449 --> 00:42:14,367
♪ Yeah, watch me
crank that Robocop. ♪
1143
00:42:15,285 --> 00:42:16,910
- (laughter)
- BEN: You guys, check it out.
1144
00:42:16,911 --> 00:42:18,495
(imitating Marge
Simpson): Homie, I'm worth
1145
00:42:18,496 --> 00:42:19,830
millions of dollars.
1146
00:42:19,831 --> 00:42:21,874
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, shit!
1147
00:42:21,875 --> 00:42:23,000
Marge!
1148
00:42:23,001 --> 00:42:24,209
- Marge Simpson.
- JOHN: Marge Simpson.
1149
00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:25,502
ALL: To Marge!
1150
00:42:25,503 --> 00:42:27,254
And, guys, I think
the rangers were
1151
00:42:27,255 --> 00:42:29,381
a little too slow to
get it, don't you think?
1152
00:42:29,382 --> 00:42:31,675
- Yeah, man.
- A little too slow.
1153
00:42:31,676 --> 00:42:33,594
I don't even care, like,
anymore that, like,
1154
00:42:33,595 --> 00:42:35,596
Lisa broke my heart.
1155
00:42:35,597 --> 00:42:37,640
- Like...
- BEN: Good.
1156
00:42:38,933 --> 00:42:40,893
- Uh... yeah.
- Good, good.
1157
00:42:40,894 --> 00:42:42,227
BEN: Still can't
believe we found it.
1158
00:42:42,228 --> 00:42:43,812
Hey, guess it's all
thanks to me and God.
1159
00:42:43,813 --> 00:42:47,066
I tip my hat to you,
my strange friend.
1160
00:42:47,067 --> 00:42:49,360
I mean, was the
wing-suiting God,
1161
00:42:49,361 --> 00:42:50,819
or was that my bravery?
1162
00:42:50,820 --> 00:42:52,780
Well, I think kind of
everything is all God.
1163
00:42:52,781 --> 00:42:55,282
Well, more of a science
fella myself, but I get
1164
00:42:55,283 --> 00:42:57,451
that you're going through
something with your girlfriend.
1165
00:42:57,452 --> 00:43:00,371
MARTIN: I'm not going through
anything with my girlfriend.
1166
00:43:00,372 --> 00:43:02,915
♪ ♪
1167
00:43:02,916 --> 00:43:05,084
Guys, we found it together.
1168
00:43:05,085 --> 00:43:07,586
I think that that
deserves a toast.
1169
00:43:07,587 --> 00:43:08,962
- That's right. -Okay.
- I mean, come on.
1170
00:43:08,963 --> 00:43:10,255
- We can all agree to that.
- Cheers to us.
1171
00:43:10,256 --> 00:43:11,548
- (cell phones dinging)
- BEN: Oh, shit.
1172
00:43:11,549 --> 00:43:13,133
Do we have service out here?
1173
00:43:13,134 --> 00:43:14,927
- Oh, shit.
- (cell phones vibrating)
1174
00:43:14,928 --> 00:43:16,679
- Want to FaceTime my dad.
- Oh.
1175
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,307
- I got to call Amy.
- I'll be right back. -Oh...
1176
00:43:21,267 --> 00:43:22,811
Um...
1177
00:43:23,645 --> 00:43:25,646
I'll call someone, t... Um...
1178
00:43:25,647 --> 00:43:28,482
Dude, do I have to, like,
re-download the app?
1179
00:43:28,483 --> 00:43:30,777
What is going on?
1180
00:43:36,825 --> 00:43:39,243
BEN: All right, fellas,
now that we're mega-rich,
1181
00:43:39,244 --> 00:43:42,162
we got to come up with a
smart, reasonable budget.
1182
00:43:42,163 --> 00:43:44,748
What about ten mil for our
own private music festival?
1183
00:43:44,749 --> 00:43:46,125
- Yes.
- And who's on the bill?
1184
00:43:46,126 --> 00:43:48,627
- Two words for you: Fat Joe.
- Oh!
1185
00:43:48,628 --> 00:43:50,295
ALL: ♪ Lean back. ♪
1186
00:43:50,296 --> 00:43:51,505
I think that we should go on
1187
00:43:51,506 --> 00:43:52,715
a badass vacation
with each other.
1188
00:43:52,716 --> 00:43:53,966
- Love that. Love that.
- Yep.
1189
00:43:53,967 --> 00:43:55,384
What are we thinking, Cabo?
1190
00:43:55,385 --> 00:43:56,760
- Yeah.
- JOHN: Cabo. That's cute.
1191
00:43:56,761 --> 00:43:59,013
No, two words for
you blokes: London.
1192
00:43:59,014 --> 00:44:01,390
- Holy shit!
- Oh! Yes, sir.
1193
00:44:01,391 --> 00:44:03,225
(British accent): The blokes
are back to take London, folks.
1194
00:44:03,226 --> 00:44:05,310
Oh, yeah!
-And I'm gonna eat some porridge and mash.
1195
00:44:05,311 --> 00:44:07,980
And I'm driving on the right
side of the road, innit?
1196
00:44:07,981 --> 00:44:09,773
- Too... too much.
- Sorry.
1197
00:44:09,774 --> 00:44:11,734
$2 million just to
slip to a waitress
1198
00:44:11,735 --> 00:44:13,360
at a diner, go viral as fuck.
1199
00:44:13,361 --> 00:44:16,155
Oh, and I'm gonna need, like,
a big chunk for me and Amy.
1200
00:44:16,156 --> 00:44:17,656
- Okay. What?
- We got to give five million
1201
00:44:17,657 --> 00:44:19,324
- to the Catholic Church.
- What?
1202
00:44:19,325 --> 00:44:21,201
- Five million to the... What?
- What do you...
1203
00:44:21,202 --> 00:44:23,328
They need it, man, for
stained glass and lawsuits.
1204
00:44:23,329 --> 00:44:24,830
JOHN and BEN: Lawsuits?
1205
00:44:24,831 --> 00:44:26,498
Not all the lawsuits
are about something bad.
1206
00:44:26,499 --> 00:44:27,541
Sometimes it's
just someone trying
1207
00:44:27,542 --> 00:44:29,168
to get money out of the Pope.
1208
00:44:29,169 --> 00:44:31,211
I'm not paying for the Catholic
Church's lawsuits, man.
1209
00:44:31,212 --> 00:44:32,838
I need that money to
invest in Trout Plus.
1210
00:44:32,839 --> 00:44:34,173
MARTIN: That's just something you want.
-Guys.
1211
00:44:34,174 --> 00:44:35,382
I'm talking about
shit that we need.
1212
00:44:35,383 --> 00:44:36,633
What are you talking about?
1213
00:44:36,634 --> 00:44:37,760
- Listen to yourself.
- Oh, my God.
1214
00:44:37,761 --> 00:44:39,678
- G-Guys, guys, guys.
- What?
1215
00:44:39,679 --> 00:44:41,973
Fucking... the fucking
treasure is gone, dude.
1216
00:44:42,724 --> 00:44:44,516
Oh, shit.
1217
00:44:44,517 --> 00:44:46,143
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Oh, fuck.
1218
00:44:46,144 --> 00:44:47,686
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Oh, my God.
1219
00:44:47,687 --> 00:44:48,521
- Ben, John, come on.
- Fuck. Come on.
1220
00:44:48,522 --> 00:44:49,855
I got it! Lisa!
1221
00:44:49,856 --> 00:44:51,106
No! Give me that!
1222
00:44:51,107 --> 00:44:53,192
- I got it! John, here!
- Hey!
1223
00:44:53,193 --> 00:44:54,986
BEN: Back away!
1224
00:44:55,904 --> 00:44:57,571
Hey, J. What's up,
you handsome bitch?
1225
00:44:57,572 --> 00:44:59,990
- Hmm-mm. No. Uh-uh.
- Okay.
1226
00:44:59,991 --> 00:45:01,367
TAYLOR: How did y'all get
the treasure before us?
1227
00:45:01,368 --> 00:45:03,869
- Give me that shit.
- Or what, park ranger?
1228
00:45:03,870 --> 00:45:06,205
- Gonna throw us in tree jail?
- (Ben and Martin laughing)
1229
00:45:06,206 --> 00:45:08,123
- (gasping)
- TAYLOR: Oh, I got it, Lisa!
1230
00:45:08,124 --> 00:45:09,792
- Come on! Get in the cart!
- Dude! Dude, you okay?
1231
00:45:09,793 --> 00:45:11,251
(raspy): Ah! What the fuck!
1232
00:45:11,252 --> 00:45:12,503
Go! Go! Shit!
1233
00:45:12,504 --> 00:45:13,629
(Lisa whimpering)
1234
00:45:13,630 --> 00:45:15,714
(raspy): You two are evil!
1235
00:45:15,715 --> 00:45:17,549
- Great. Now he's mad at me.
- No! Back up!
1236
00:45:17,550 --> 00:45:19,009
(groans)
1237
00:45:19,010 --> 00:45:20,427
(raspy): Why did you keep
going for the throat?
1238
00:45:20,428 --> 00:45:21,970
It's the quickest way
to disable an attacker.
1239
00:45:21,971 --> 00:45:23,263
- Grab the bust!
- Give me the wheel.
1240
00:45:23,264 --> 00:45:25,391
- LISA: No!
- TAYLOR: Get away! Get off!
1241
00:45:25,392 --> 00:45:27,143
(grunting)
1242
00:45:29,479 --> 00:45:30,688
Where is it? Where is it?
1243
00:45:30,689 --> 00:45:32,398
(panting): Oh, shit.
1244
00:45:32,399 --> 00:45:33,982
Hey. Never got your number.
1245
00:45:33,983 --> 00:45:35,567
Why would I give you my number?
1246
00:45:35,568 --> 00:45:37,986
You left me tied up in the
woods and stole all my shit.
1247
00:45:37,987 --> 00:45:39,321
That was Taylor's idea.
1248
00:45:39,322 --> 00:45:40,781
JOHN: Oh, so you do
whatever you told?
1249
00:45:40,782 --> 00:45:42,074
You know what, Lisa?
1250
00:45:42,075 --> 00:45:43,784
The other night
meant a lot to me.
1251
00:45:43,785 --> 00:45:45,661
- And you fucked me.
- I didn't fuck you.
1252
00:45:45,662 --> 00:45:47,246
Maybe I would've if
the tent was bigger.
1253
00:45:47,247 --> 00:45:48,747
- What are you talking about?
- I said get a bigger tent!
1254
00:45:48,748 --> 00:45:51,000
Lisa! I got the
treasure! I got the...!
1255
00:45:51,001 --> 00:45:53,252
- (gasps)
- Oh, my God.
1256
00:45:53,253 --> 00:45:54,878
(raspy): What the fuck?
You just hit a woman!
1257
00:45:54,879 --> 00:45:57,339
I-I apologize for him.
I, for one, would nev...
1258
00:45:57,340 --> 00:46:01,260
- Oh, oh! Oh, my God! Hypocrite!
- Okay, so I hit one woman.
1259
00:46:01,261 --> 00:46:02,678
That's not, in the grand sch...
1260
00:46:02,679 --> 00:46:03,929
(retching)
1261
00:46:03,930 --> 00:46:05,305
Oh, my... Ew!
1262
00:46:05,306 --> 00:46:06,515
- We shouldn't be talking.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
1263
00:46:06,516 --> 00:46:08,142
I-I... I'm sorry.
1264
00:46:08,143 --> 00:46:10,352
I know I stole from you, but
I was doing it for my friend.
1265
00:46:10,353 --> 00:46:12,104
- I really like you.
- No, you don't.
1266
00:46:12,105 --> 00:46:13,564
I knew it was too
good to be true.
1267
00:46:13,565 --> 00:46:15,274
I really do.
1268
00:46:15,275 --> 00:46:16,817
- Are you being serious?
- Yes.
1269
00:46:16,818 --> 00:46:18,193
- You swear?
- Yeah.
1270
00:46:18,194 --> 00:46:20,070
- You're not lying to me?
- I'm not lying to you.
1271
00:46:20,071 --> 00:46:21,822
- Just to trick me again?
- I'm being more real than ever.
1272
00:46:21,823 --> 00:46:23,449
I really like you.
1273
00:46:23,450 --> 00:46:24,783
What's your favorite bagel?
1274
00:46:24,784 --> 00:46:25,951
Everything bagel with
the stuff shaken off.
1275
00:46:25,952 --> 00:46:27,369
Oh, God, I can't fight it.
1276
00:46:27,370 --> 00:46:29,288
- You're perfect, girl.
- Oh, you're perfect, too.
1277
00:46:29,289 --> 00:46:31,499
MARTIN: Where is
it? Where'd it go?
1278
00:46:32,459 --> 00:46:35,086
(laughing)
1279
00:46:36,504 --> 00:46:37,881
Yo, guys.
1280
00:46:42,385 --> 00:46:43,970
(distorted grunting)
1281
00:46:49,017 --> 00:46:50,309
(engine revving)
1282
00:46:50,310 --> 00:46:51,977
- Ben?
- Hey.
1283
00:46:51,978 --> 00:46:54,063
Were you about to leave without us?
-Hmm?
1284
00:46:54,064 --> 00:46:56,357
- Jesus Christ, man.
- Dude, get-get in.
1285
00:46:56,358 --> 00:46:58,400
You were gonna leave without us.
-I got the thing.
1286
00:46:58,401 --> 00:46:59,860
- John, let's go!
- John, come on, let's go!
1287
00:46:59,861 --> 00:47:01,236
Just one sec.
1288
00:47:01,237 --> 00:47:03,030
Lisa, what the
fuck are you doing?
1289
00:47:03,031 --> 00:47:05,157
John, we're gonna abandon
you if you don't come, man.
1290
00:47:05,158 --> 00:47:06,700
- What?
- (Lisa yelps)
1291
00:47:06,701 --> 00:47:08,327
JOHN: Sorry.
1292
00:47:08,328 --> 00:47:10,120
Oh, oh, dude, I dropped her. God, I dropped her.
-John?
1293
00:47:10,121 --> 00:47:11,663
- Dudes, I dropped her.
- TAYLOR: What the hell, Lisa?
1294
00:47:11,664 --> 00:47:12,998
- Are you okay?
- You in? -Yeah.
1295
00:47:12,999 --> 00:47:14,542
Maybe he's telling
them to come back?
1296
00:47:15,502 --> 00:47:17,127
Sorry!
1297
00:47:17,128 --> 00:47:20,632
Man, Lisa, see what the
fuck... you see what you did?
1298
00:47:22,425 --> 00:47:23,842
That was insane.
1299
00:47:23,843 --> 00:47:26,262
I hope Lisa's not mad
that I stole her cart.
1300
00:47:27,263 --> 00:47:29,515
Hey, you guys haven't
talked in like 45 minutes.
1301
00:47:29,516 --> 00:47:31,308
What's going on?
1302
00:47:31,309 --> 00:47:34,395
- Want to tell him what you did?
- I'm not talking about it, man.
1303
00:47:34,396 --> 00:47:37,565
Can we just focus on
getting home, please?
1304
00:47:38,983 --> 00:47:41,236
(engine stops)
1305
00:47:43,780 --> 00:47:45,864
(all sigh)
1306
00:47:45,865 --> 00:47:48,158
NARRATOR: So Ben,
John and the third guy
1307
00:47:48,159 --> 00:47:51,537
continued their long
journey home on foot,
1308
00:47:51,538 --> 00:47:54,206
lost, tired and starving.
1309
00:47:54,207 --> 00:47:56,917
Hey, how good does,
uh, taking a bath
1310
00:47:56,918 --> 00:47:58,919
and a big plate of pasta
fazool sound right now?
1311
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,046
- JOHN: Will you shut up, man?
- I'm sorry.
1312
00:48:01,047 --> 00:48:02,715
Stranded out here,
and I'm starving.
1313
00:48:02,716 --> 00:48:04,008
Yeah, so am I, dude.
1314
00:48:04,009 --> 00:48:05,801
Of course I want pasta fazool.
1315
00:48:05,802 --> 00:48:08,138
- Goddamn it.
- Guys.
1316
00:48:08,972 --> 00:48:10,889
(gasps)
1317
00:48:10,890 --> 00:48:13,518
My last smoochie.
1318
00:48:15,812 --> 00:48:17,271
- Oh, my God.
- Ah-ah-ah-ah.
1319
00:48:17,272 --> 00:48:18,981
If it is the
smoochie you'd like,
1320
00:48:18,982 --> 00:48:21,108
confess one sin.
1321
00:48:21,109 --> 00:48:23,653
- (John and Ben sigh)
- (bell tolls)
1322
00:48:25,864 --> 00:48:27,991
(animal howling in distance)
1323
00:48:30,118 --> 00:48:31,493
One time, I jerked off
at my grandma's house.
1324
00:48:31,494 --> 00:48:34,289
- Bingo. Was she home?
- Yep. I was very ashamed.
1325
00:48:39,627 --> 00:48:42,254
- Thank you.
- What about you, Benjamin?
1326
00:48:42,255 --> 00:48:44,465
I would love a little
bit of smoochie.
1327
00:48:44,466 --> 00:48:46,467
That's strange.
1328
00:48:46,468 --> 00:48:48,260
Because earlier,
1329
00:48:48,261 --> 00:48:50,387
I thought you said they
look like little turds.
1330
00:48:50,388 --> 00:48:53,265
And now they're your
favorite fucking food?
1331
00:48:53,266 --> 00:48:54,308
Let's not.
1332
00:48:54,309 --> 00:48:56,101
I want you to
confess that earlier
1333
00:48:56,102 --> 00:48:58,228
you were gonna abandon us.
1334
00:48:58,229 --> 00:48:59,938
What?
1335
00:48:59,939 --> 00:49:01,565
When? What are you talking about?
-No, I...
1336
00:49:01,566 --> 00:49:04,109
Earlier, in the cart, you were
gonna drive away without us.
1337
00:49:04,110 --> 00:49:05,444
JOHN: Are you
being serious? Huh?
1338
00:49:05,445 --> 00:49:07,613
- You did that?
- It actually happened.
1339
00:49:07,614 --> 00:49:09,365
I thought about it for a
second, but in my defense,
1340
00:49:09,366 --> 00:49:10,824
I was only thinking
about leaving
1341
00:49:10,825 --> 00:49:12,117
and having all the
treasure to myself.
1342
00:49:12,118 --> 00:49:13,619
Everyone's had that
thought before,
1343
00:49:13,620 --> 00:49:14,953
and I almost acted on it.
1344
00:49:14,954 --> 00:49:17,206
I've never had that
thought, man. Fuck.
1345
00:49:17,207 --> 00:49:18,499
BEN: But I didn't.
You know why?
1346
00:49:18,500 --> 00:49:19,792
Because of the
kindness in my heart
1347
00:49:19,793 --> 00:49:21,335
and because you saw me.
1348
00:49:21,336 --> 00:49:22,878
I wish we didn't come up
here and find the treasure.
1349
00:49:22,879 --> 00:49:24,171
- What?
- Whatever. Just give me some,
1350
00:49:24,172 --> 00:49:25,631
and then we'll
forget all of this.
1351
00:49:25,632 --> 00:49:27,800
You know what? Now
nobody gets any smoochie,
1352
00:49:27,801 --> 00:49:29,301
- you fucking psycho.
- No! -No! Mart!
1353
00:49:29,302 --> 00:49:31,136
God, Martin, I'm gonna kill you!
-Guys! Guys!
1354
00:49:31,137 --> 00:49:33,431
- Guys! Guys!
- I'm gonna kill you.
1355
00:49:36,851 --> 00:49:38,103
Wh-What was that?
1356
00:49:39,354 --> 00:49:41,480
(gasping)
1357
00:49:41,481 --> 00:49:43,566
♪ ♪
1358
00:50:03,586 --> 00:50:05,672
♪ ♪
1359
00:50:07,257 --> 00:50:10,468
(rhythmic, percussive
music playing)
1360
00:50:15,974 --> 00:50:18,268
What is this place?
1361
00:50:19,310 --> 00:50:21,479
- MAN (over speaker): Intruders!
- (music stops)
1362
00:50:26,693 --> 00:50:28,569
- Maybe we should head-head out.
- Yeah, let's...
1363
00:50:28,570 --> 00:50:30,320
- Yeah, sorry.
- Yeah, I wouldn't do that.
1364
00:50:30,321 --> 00:50:32,698
- Sorry.
- A show. Let's stay, then.
1365
00:50:32,699 --> 00:50:34,283
Let's stay.
1366
00:50:34,284 --> 00:50:36,577
(over speaker): How dare you
interrupt our sacred dance.
1367
00:50:36,578 --> 00:50:38,328
How dare you!
1368
00:50:38,329 --> 00:50:40,205
Shit.
1369
00:50:40,206 --> 00:50:42,374
(over speaker): Miles
away from civilization,
1370
00:50:42,375 --> 00:50:44,710
no cell phone service,
1371
00:50:44,711 --> 00:50:46,879
no way to call for help.
1372
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,840
Now, tell me, why
am I joined today
1373
00:50:49,841 --> 00:50:52,509
by you three gorgeous girls?
1374
00:50:52,510 --> 00:50:54,595
Oh, us?
1375
00:50:54,596 --> 00:50:56,055
- No, no.
- No.
1376
00:50:56,056 --> 00:50:57,639
Um, we're guys.
1377
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,350
- (over speaker): Oh. Sorry.
- JOHN: We're dudes.
1378
00:50:59,351 --> 00:51:00,893
- It's all right.
- (chuckles)
1379
00:51:00,894 --> 00:51:03,062
(over speaker): Little
hard to see out of my new,
1380
00:51:03,063 --> 00:51:05,064
awesome ceremonial head.
1381
00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:07,232
Regardless...
1382
00:51:07,233 --> 00:51:11,737
you've stumbled upon our home,
and it begs the question:
1383
00:51:11,738 --> 00:51:15,949
Why are we joined today by
five handsome Black men?
1384
00:51:15,950 --> 00:51:18,410
- We're, uh...
- We're-we're, uh...
1385
00:51:18,411 --> 00:51:19,912
MARTIN: We're not Black.
1386
00:51:19,913 --> 00:51:21,705
- What?
- BEN: We're just white.
1387
00:51:21,706 --> 00:51:23,290
We're not Black.
1388
00:51:23,291 --> 00:51:27,836
Oh, oh, sorry. I can't fucking
see or hear in this thing.
1389
00:51:27,837 --> 00:51:29,213
Jesus.
1390
00:51:29,214 --> 00:51:31,548
So, what's a Chinese
family like...
1391
00:51:31,549 --> 00:51:33,550
- Ah, man. -Stop guessing.
- Damn, dude.
1392
00:51:33,551 --> 00:51:35,552
I think his head is too fucked up.
-Yeah.
1393
00:51:35,553 --> 00:51:38,681
God, it's like the most hot
I've ever felt in my whole life.
1394
00:51:38,682 --> 00:51:40,182
Just take the fucking
head off, man?
1395
00:51:40,183 --> 00:51:41,266
Walk normal.
1396
00:51:41,267 --> 00:51:42,976
Oh, God, it's too hot!
1397
00:51:42,977 --> 00:51:44,311
(gasps) Tricia!
1398
00:51:44,312 --> 00:51:45,938
Okay, Tricia, Tricia.
1399
00:51:45,939 --> 00:51:47,606
Yeah, Deetch.
-I thought we talked about holes in this.
1400
00:51:47,607 --> 00:51:49,191
- Yeah, holes in the face?
- Yeah. What the fuck?
1401
00:51:49,192 --> 00:51:51,653
I can't keep doing this.
1402
00:51:52,195 --> 00:51:53,487
JOHN (echoing):
Deetch Nordwind.
1403
00:51:53,488 --> 00:51:55,322
The treasure Deetch was after...
1404
00:51:55,323 --> 00:51:56,782
TRICIA: Yeah, I'll
figure it out.
1405
00:51:56,783 --> 00:52:00,077
Thank you. Love you so
much. (chuckles, sighs)
1406
00:52:00,078 --> 00:52:01,370
Whoa.
1407
00:52:01,371 --> 00:52:04,915
Hi. Wow, you look so sad.
1408
00:52:04,916 --> 00:52:06,625
Disgusting.
1409
00:52:06,626 --> 00:52:08,127
Come on.
1410
00:52:08,128 --> 00:52:09,795
Let's change that.
1411
00:52:09,796 --> 00:52:12,172
(dance music playing)
1412
00:52:12,173 --> 00:52:14,174
- What are we doing here, man?
- I don't know.
1413
00:52:14,175 --> 00:52:16,301
- This is a cult, right?
- It's absolutely a cult.
1414
00:52:16,302 --> 00:52:18,220
Dude, I was just out there.
I think this is a cult.
1415
00:52:18,221 --> 00:52:19,638
That's what I was just saying.
1416
00:52:19,639 --> 00:52:21,265
This sucks, dude. I hate
wearing these clothes.
1417
00:52:21,266 --> 00:52:22,599
- I kind of like them.
- Really?
1418
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,351
'Cause you look like
a bisexual mechanic.
1419
00:52:24,352 --> 00:52:26,854
Well, fuck you, man. You
look like a gumdrop farmer.
1420
00:52:26,855 --> 00:52:28,313
Who cares how we look?
1421
00:52:28,314 --> 00:52:30,107
I haven't had food in 48 hours.
1422
00:52:30,108 --> 00:52:31,400
The guy in the head is, like,
1423
00:52:31,401 --> 00:52:32,526
the original treasure
hunter, right?
1424
00:52:32,527 --> 00:52:33,819
- Yeah.
- I mean, this feels like
1425
00:52:33,820 --> 00:52:35,195
the worst place we could be.
1426
00:52:35,196 --> 00:52:37,156
I know, I know, but that
was like ten years ago.
1427
00:52:37,157 --> 00:52:38,407
Okay? I think we're okay.
1428
00:52:38,408 --> 00:52:39,950
And the treasure's
safe. I just hid it.
1429
00:52:39,951 --> 00:52:40,951
What do you mean? Where?
1430
00:52:40,952 --> 00:52:42,327
- What?
- You hid it?
1431
00:52:42,328 --> 00:52:44,329
You hid it? What are
you talking about?
1432
00:52:44,330 --> 00:52:46,123
We should have eyes
on Marge at all times.
1433
00:52:46,124 --> 00:52:47,583
You know what?
No, I am not even
1434
00:52:47,584 --> 00:52:49,460
entertaining you
yelling at me right now.
1435
00:52:49,461 --> 00:52:52,087
Martin, you just threw
away your last smoochie.
1436
00:52:52,088 --> 00:52:53,630
And, Ben, you almost
left us in the woods
1437
00:52:53,631 --> 00:52:55,632
so you could take
Marge for yourself.
1438
00:52:55,633 --> 00:52:57,926
I am in charge. I
am de captain now.
1439
00:52:57,927 --> 00:52:59,011
Don't quote Captain Phillips.
1440
00:52:59,012 --> 00:53:00,054
Don't do Captain Phillips.
1441
00:53:00,055 --> 00:53:01,347
Listen to me.
1442
00:53:01,348 --> 00:53:03,182
We're gonna go out
there, put a smile on
1443
00:53:03,183 --> 00:53:05,602
and eat their food,
'cause we need it.
1444
00:53:06,561 --> 00:53:07,770
Okay.
1445
00:53:07,771 --> 00:53:09,606
(quiet chatter)
1446
00:53:12,901 --> 00:53:14,902
Don't love that.
1447
00:53:14,903 --> 00:53:16,195
Thank you so much, everyone,
1448
00:53:16,196 --> 00:53:17,613
for occasioning
this dinner tonight
1449
00:53:17,614 --> 00:53:21,284
to welcome our
three new friends.
1450
00:53:22,202 --> 00:53:25,954
It's been many years
since I sought out
1451
00:53:25,955 --> 00:53:27,748
the treasure of Foggy Mountain.
1452
00:53:27,749 --> 00:53:29,875
Over the years, I've
been joined by many
1453
00:53:29,876 --> 00:53:32,378
wayward travelers, dreamers,
1454
00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:35,381
gym teachers who got too
close to their students.
1455
00:53:35,382 --> 00:53:37,049
(chuckles) Guilty.
1456
00:53:37,050 --> 00:53:39,009
But, uh, in my
defense, she was...
1457
00:53:39,010 --> 00:53:40,302
No, no, no.
1458
00:53:40,303 --> 00:53:42,596
- We live in harmony...
- What?
1459
00:53:42,597 --> 00:53:44,890
Away from the civilized world,
1460
00:53:44,891 --> 00:53:47,768
but when we do need to go
on supply runs into town,
1461
00:53:47,769 --> 00:53:51,063
we put on our skin masks
to seamlessly blend in.
1462
00:53:51,064 --> 00:53:52,940
MARTIN: Jesus Christ.
1463
00:53:52,941 --> 00:53:54,233
Holy fucking shit, man.
1464
00:53:54,234 --> 00:53:55,442
I feel like that's
way more noticeable.
1465
00:53:55,443 --> 00:53:56,985
JOHN: Yeah, definitely.
1466
00:53:56,986 --> 00:53:58,904
- No offense. It's okay.
- I'm sorry. You look good.
1467
00:53:58,905 --> 00:54:02,991
Most of us came here to find
the treasure of Foggy Mountain.
1468
00:54:02,992 --> 00:54:07,579
Eventually, we all realized
we don't need treasure.
1469
00:54:07,580 --> 00:54:12,501
All that matters is you, me,
each and every one of us,
1470
00:54:12,502 --> 00:54:18,173
which is why we go by a
simple guiding mantra here.
1471
00:54:18,174 --> 00:54:19,925
GROUP: All lives matter.
1472
00:54:19,926 --> 00:54:21,635
(choking)
1473
00:54:21,636 --> 00:54:24,596
I'm sorry, did I... did we say
something to offend you or...
1474
00:54:24,597 --> 00:54:27,433
When did you guys
leave society again?
1475
00:54:27,434 --> 00:54:29,226
12 years ago. What? Why?
1476
00:54:29,227 --> 00:54:31,395
- Ah. -Yeah. Yeah.
- Now it clicks.
1477
00:54:31,396 --> 00:54:33,731
Just, like, now
that's very racist.
1478
00:54:33,732 --> 00:54:35,274
Racist?
1479
00:54:35,275 --> 00:54:37,109
- Well, we're not trying to...
- No, no, I mean, totally...
1480
00:54:37,110 --> 00:54:38,402
All lives matter!
1481
00:54:38,403 --> 00:54:39,820
I feel like he
knows what it means.
1482
00:54:39,821 --> 00:54:41,447
- I feel like he knows.
- He definitely knows.
1483
00:54:41,448 --> 00:54:42,990
MAN: All lives matter.
I got a tattoo of it.
1484
00:54:42,991 --> 00:54:44,283
- JOHN: Ah, shit, dude.
- Oh, my God, dude. It's big.
1485
00:54:44,284 --> 00:54:45,617
Nobody else get that.
1486
00:54:45,618 --> 00:54:47,661
Regardless, we all know that
1487
00:54:47,662 --> 00:54:51,165
no one will ever
find that treasure.
1488
00:54:51,166 --> 00:54:53,125
But even if I did,
1489
00:54:53,126 --> 00:54:57,588
I would take that
monument to greed,
1490
00:54:57,589 --> 00:55:02,301
and I swear to God I would
destroy it in a big fire
1491
00:55:02,302 --> 00:55:04,637
without so much
as batting an eye!
1492
00:55:07,015 --> 00:55:08,432
Santé!
1493
00:55:08,433 --> 00:55:10,685
- GROUP: Santé!
- Shit.
1494
00:55:11,895 --> 00:55:14,021
I wish I didn't hide
it next to his chair.
1495
00:55:14,022 --> 00:55:16,523
- What'd you say?
- I hid it next to his chair.
1496
00:55:16,524 --> 00:55:18,484
BEN: On his perch?
1497
00:55:18,485 --> 00:55:19,818
Why would you hide it there?
1498
00:55:19,819 --> 00:55:21,570
- I don't know.
- Are you kidding me?
1499
00:55:21,571 --> 00:55:22,988
You're such a
fucking idiot, man.
1500
00:55:22,989 --> 00:55:26,368
Deetch, I found some visitors.
1501
00:55:30,747 --> 00:55:32,498
You put it under his
fucking chair, man?
1502
00:55:32,499 --> 00:55:33,832
What was I supposed to do?
1503
00:55:33,833 --> 00:55:35,459
Carry around a
tote bag all night
1504
00:55:35,460 --> 00:55:37,336
like I'm at some
fucking farmers market?
1505
00:55:37,337 --> 00:55:38,879
The problem was the tote bag?
1506
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,506
I'm sorry, okay?
1507
00:55:40,507 --> 00:55:42,383
I guess I wasn't thinking and
I just shoved it somewhere.
1508
00:55:42,384 --> 00:55:44,009
Well, we got to get
it back, all right?
1509
00:55:44,010 --> 00:55:45,844
Taylor's probably out there
looking for it right now.
1510
00:55:45,845 --> 00:55:48,389
Did you see my three
skinny white friends
1511
00:55:48,390 --> 00:55:50,015
walking around with a bag?
1512
00:55:50,016 --> 00:55:51,266
Yeah, man, well, so is Lisa.
1513
00:55:51,267 --> 00:55:52,726
No way. Not Lisa, dude.
1514
00:55:52,727 --> 00:55:54,478
She's completely
heartbroken right now.
1515
00:55:54,479 --> 00:55:57,356
ALL: Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!
1516
00:55:57,357 --> 00:55:58,941
Why don't we just go
grab it right now?
1517
00:55:58,942 --> 00:56:01,486
It's not like Deetch is sitting
on his throne all night.
1518
00:56:02,737 --> 00:56:05,531
BEN: There's a million people
out there partying, dude!
1519
00:56:05,532 --> 00:56:06,990
I can't believe
you were so stupid!
1520
00:56:06,991 --> 00:56:08,450
(exclaims)
1521
00:56:08,451 --> 00:56:10,369
- You want to get physical?
- Yeah, maybe I do.
1522
00:56:10,370 --> 00:56:13,038
- Hey! Okay.
- What are you doing?
1523
00:56:13,039 --> 00:56:14,540
You want to fucking play that game?
-(crackling)
1524
00:56:14,541 --> 00:56:16,250
Oh, my God! Why
do you have that?
1525
00:56:16,251 --> 00:56:18,419
For self-defense. I
carry a lot of cash.
1526
00:56:18,420 --> 00:56:20,379
I can't get approved
for a debit card.
1527
00:56:20,380 --> 00:56:21,547
Did you say "debit card"?
1528
00:56:21,548 --> 00:56:22,881
- Okay.
- What?
1529
00:56:22,882 --> 00:56:24,508
You didn't want to
whip that thing out
1530
00:56:24,509 --> 00:56:25,843
when we were getting
punched in the throat?
1531
00:56:25,844 --> 00:56:27,636
You had that completely
under control.
1532
00:56:27,637 --> 00:56:28,887
- We absolutely did not!
- No, we didn't!
1533
00:56:28,888 --> 00:56:30,264
Oh, Marge is driving
you guys crazy.
1534
00:56:30,265 --> 00:56:31,682
Our relationship
is falling apart.
1535
00:56:31,683 --> 00:56:34,727
If you don't start acting
like we normally do...
1536
00:56:34,728 --> 00:56:38,064
like regular friends, I
guess... you... I'm gonna...
1537
00:56:41,484 --> 00:56:43,402
Don't. Don't do
that. Don't do that.
1538
00:56:43,403 --> 00:56:44,653
- I don't want to do it.
- John.
1539
00:56:44,654 --> 00:56:46,113
- You don't have to do it.
- Oh, my God!
1540
00:56:46,114 --> 00:56:47,614
Ow, that hurt so much more
than I thought it would!
1541
00:56:47,615 --> 00:56:48,907
Why did you do it?
1542
00:56:48,908 --> 00:56:50,159
No other way I can
prove my point.
1543
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:51,535
Yes, there are plenty of ways.
1544
00:56:51,536 --> 00:56:53,746
- (crackling)
- Oh, my God! -Oh, dude!
1545
00:56:53,747 --> 00:56:55,664
Ow, ow, ow!
-I can't look at this. Johnny, buddy...
1546
00:56:55,665 --> 00:56:57,207
(nasally voice): I'm
getting woozy, dude.
1547
00:56:57,208 --> 00:56:58,959
- Why are you talking like that?
- I'm getting woozy.
1548
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:00,586
What the hell is going on?
John, can we just talk?
1549
00:57:00,587 --> 00:57:01,795
- Yeah.
- I feel like maybe you're...
1550
00:57:01,796 --> 00:57:04,256
- Oh, my God! Why?
- (gasping in pain)
1551
00:57:04,257 --> 00:57:06,842
I'm trying to teach you guys a lesson...
-Oh, my God.
1552
00:57:06,843 --> 00:57:08,677
About friendship and
the power of friendship.
1553
00:57:08,678 --> 00:57:10,763
- (crackling)
- Oh, fuck me!
1554
00:57:10,764 --> 00:57:12,639
- I'm in middle school!
- What? What?
1555
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:14,558
Y'all remember the good
old days of middle school?
1556
00:57:14,559 --> 00:57:16,352
- Middle school?
- Are you having a stroke?
1557
00:57:16,353 --> 00:57:17,770
We would hang out
like every day, dude.
1558
00:57:17,771 --> 00:57:19,521
It was amazing. Except
for those two months
1559
00:57:19,522 --> 00:57:20,898
where Ben thought he was
friends with T.J. Scardini.
1560
00:57:20,899 --> 00:57:22,483
I was friends with
T.J. Scardini.
1561
00:57:22,484 --> 00:57:24,568
(scoffs) Uh, you mean
you guys carpooled?
1562
00:57:24,569 --> 00:57:25,861
- Oh, fuck you!
- (crackling)
1563
00:57:25,862 --> 00:57:27,863
I was just as popular as him!
1564
00:57:27,864 --> 00:57:30,199
- BOTH: As T.J. Scardini?
- Yeah!
1565
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:31,450
Dude was getting his dick sucked
1566
00:57:31,451 --> 00:57:32,868
before we even knew
it was possible.
1567
00:57:32,869 --> 00:57:34,286
- Oh, you shut up!
- (crackling)
1568
00:57:34,287 --> 00:57:35,746
- Back up!
- (gasping in pain)
1569
00:57:35,747 --> 00:57:38,123
- What are you doing?
- Fuck! I like it!
1570
00:57:38,124 --> 00:57:39,500
It's starting to feel good!
1571
00:57:39,501 --> 00:57:41,168
Man, fuck this!
1572
00:57:41,169 --> 00:57:43,128
We got to focus up, all
right? What are we doing?
1573
00:57:43,129 --> 00:57:45,714
A-Any second now, they could
find Marge and destroy it.
1574
00:57:45,715 --> 00:57:48,008
Maybe they're not wrong for
wanting to do that, okay?
1575
00:57:48,009 --> 00:57:50,469
Maybe Deetch is right. Maybe
money isn't everything.
1576
00:57:50,470 --> 00:57:51,845
Of course you would
say that, man,
1577
00:57:51,846 --> 00:57:53,806
'cause you have
nothing to spend it on.
1578
00:57:53,807 --> 00:57:55,307
Yeah, sorry you don't have shit
1579
00:57:55,308 --> 00:57:56,748
waiting for you back
home, but we do.
1580
00:58:01,898 --> 00:58:04,316
Stop yelling at me
like I'm a fucking kid.
1581
00:58:04,317 --> 00:58:05,776
I will go and get it.
1582
00:58:05,777 --> 00:58:07,319
It's not like they found it.
1583
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:08,987
We found the treasure.
1584
00:58:08,988 --> 00:58:10,406
- Oh, my God! What?
- Oh, my God.
1585
00:58:10,407 --> 00:58:11,824
It was really easy to find.
1586
00:58:11,825 --> 00:58:13,575
Oh, shit.
-No, no, no. Where is it? Where is it?
1587
00:58:13,576 --> 00:58:15,244
Where is it?
-It's getting prepared for burning.
1588
00:58:15,245 --> 00:58:17,162
- Shit, shit, no!
- Oh, my God.
1589
00:58:17,163 --> 00:58:18,330
Goddamn it.
1590
00:58:18,331 --> 00:58:19,957
So it was you who brought it.
1591
00:58:19,958 --> 00:58:23,211
You will be rewarded at the
treasure burning ceremony.
1592
00:58:25,213 --> 00:58:27,172
(breathing heavily)
1593
00:58:27,173 --> 00:58:29,259
♪ ♪
1594
00:58:33,972 --> 00:58:36,182
(crowd cheering)
1595
00:58:36,975 --> 00:58:38,517
(flame whooshes)
1596
00:58:38,518 --> 00:58:41,186
Friends, we've been
given a gift...
1597
00:58:41,187 --> 00:58:45,858
the symbol of everything
we stand against...
1598
00:58:45,859 --> 00:58:49,153
and tonight we destroy the
bust of Marie Antoinette!
1599
00:58:49,154 --> 00:58:51,573
(cheering)
1600
00:58:52,407 --> 00:58:53,699
Burn!
1601
00:58:53,700 --> 00:58:56,118
And it's all thanks to
our new friend, John.
1602
00:58:56,119 --> 00:58:58,537
JOHN (over speaker): No, no,
you don't have to point me out.
1603
00:58:58,538 --> 00:58:59,955
- It's okay.
- DEETCH: Friends,
1604
00:58:59,956 --> 00:59:03,459
look upon this ridiculous
object and laugh.
1605
00:59:03,460 --> 00:59:05,252
- (laughs)
- Not literally.
1606
00:59:05,253 --> 00:59:09,506
To those as enlightened as
us, how much is it even worth?
1607
00:59:09,507 --> 00:59:11,425
A hundred million dollars!
1608
00:59:11,426 --> 00:59:13,886
(crowd murmuring)
1609
00:59:13,887 --> 00:59:16,889
DEETCH: A hundred
million dollars.
1610
00:59:16,890 --> 00:59:18,265
Right.
1611
00:59:18,266 --> 00:59:20,893
I guess I haven't thought
of that in a while.
1612
00:59:20,894 --> 00:59:24,856
God, it's a lot of money.
1613
00:59:30,737 --> 00:59:31,820
Shit's getting heavy, though.
1614
00:59:31,821 --> 00:59:33,572
DEETCH: Wait.
1615
00:59:33,573 --> 00:59:36,075
Is burning this insane?
1616
00:59:36,076 --> 00:59:38,744
- MAN: Burn it!
- (crowd cheering)
1617
00:59:38,745 --> 00:59:41,247
(choir vocalizing)
1618
00:59:44,125 --> 00:59:47,461
CHOIR: ♪ Soulja Boy
off in this, oh ♪
1619
00:59:47,462 --> 00:59:50,714
♪ Watch me crank
it, watch me roll ♪
1620
00:59:50,715 --> 00:59:53,676
♪ Watch me crank
that Soulja Boy ♪
1621
00:59:53,677 --> 00:59:57,346
♪ Then Superman that, oh... ♪
1622
00:59:57,347 --> 00:59:59,849
- (whooshing)
- (crowd cheering)
1623
01:00:03,478 --> 01:00:05,730
BEN: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1624
01:00:06,731 --> 01:00:08,440
Johnny Flames.
1625
01:00:08,441 --> 01:00:10,984
Great. Your boyfriend just
lost us a million dollars.
1626
01:00:10,985 --> 01:00:12,695
He probably feels
bad. He probably feels
1627
01:00:12,696 --> 01:00:13,904
- worse than we do.
- Shit, please. Do you realize
1628
01:00:13,905 --> 01:00:15,322
I've been doing all this for us?
1629
01:00:15,323 --> 01:00:17,199
No. Stay here with your
new musty-ass friends.
1630
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:18,659
I'm gone. I'm going home, and don't you follow me.
-Wait.
1631
01:00:18,660 --> 01:00:20,244
Well, fine.
1632
01:00:20,245 --> 01:00:22,955
I'm sick of doing whatever
you want to do anyway, so...
1633
01:00:22,956 --> 01:00:25,708
maybe I'm just gonna stay
here and think for myself
1634
01:00:25,709 --> 01:00:28,169
and join this cult.
1635
01:00:29,254 --> 01:00:31,339
Where-where is John?
1636
01:00:38,346 --> 01:00:40,305
How'd you do that, man?
How did you get that?
1637
01:00:40,306 --> 01:00:42,141
It's just mirrors, man.
It's always mirrors.
1638
01:00:42,142 --> 01:00:43,475
Let's go. Go.
1639
01:00:43,476 --> 01:00:45,770
♪ ♪
1640
01:00:47,605 --> 01:00:49,440
(grunting, panting heavily)
1641
01:00:49,441 --> 01:00:50,858
Oh, my God.
1642
01:00:50,859 --> 01:00:52,985
I always knew you were
an amazing magician, man.
1643
01:00:52,986 --> 01:00:54,946
- MARTIN: Goddamn.
- (laughs)
1644
01:00:58,366 --> 01:01:00,827
- What-what are you doing, man?
- What's up?
1645
01:01:01,619 --> 01:01:02,954
I'm staying.
1646
01:01:04,372 --> 01:01:05,706
What? (chuckles)
1647
01:01:05,707 --> 01:01:07,499
I'm staying here, man.
1648
01:01:07,500 --> 01:01:09,084
You guys were right.
1649
01:01:09,085 --> 01:01:11,253
I don't have fucking anything
waiting for me back home.
1650
01:01:11,254 --> 01:01:14,381
Oh, my God.
-Oh, come on, we-we didn't mean that.
1651
01:01:14,382 --> 01:01:15,716
No, you did mean it.
1652
01:01:15,717 --> 01:01:17,009
Dude, it is a hundred
million dollars.
1653
01:01:17,010 --> 01:01:18,927
Okay? You can do
anything you want now.
1654
01:01:18,928 --> 01:01:20,179
Maybe we don't
deserve the treasure.
1655
01:01:20,180 --> 01:01:21,638
- Oh, my God.
- Why do we deserve it?
1656
01:01:21,639 --> 01:01:23,015
We haven't struggled.
1657
01:01:23,016 --> 01:01:24,350
What are you talking
about? I've struggled.
1658
01:01:24,351 --> 01:01:25,476
When have you struggled?
1659
01:01:25,477 --> 01:01:26,602
I have anxiety.
1660
01:01:26,603 --> 01:01:27,936
Everybody has anxiety!
1661
01:01:27,937 --> 01:01:29,355
Well, I take pills
for it, you asshole!
1662
01:01:29,356 --> 01:01:30,981
Everyone... everyone
takes pills for it.
1663
01:01:30,982 --> 01:01:32,358
BEN: No, they don't, man.
1664
01:01:32,359 --> 01:01:33,817
You guys don't get it.
1665
01:01:33,818 --> 01:01:35,944
Now that we have that
money, we're over
1666
01:01:35,945 --> 01:01:37,529
as soon as we leave
this mountain,
1667
01:01:37,530 --> 01:01:38,906
and I don't want
to deal with that.
1668
01:01:38,907 --> 01:01:40,824
Y-You just don't want to change.
1669
01:01:40,825 --> 01:01:42,701
You just want me to
be fucking Lawrence.
1670
01:01:42,702 --> 01:01:44,620
Lawrence was fun as shit.
1671
01:01:44,621 --> 01:01:45,954
I don't love our life, okay?
1672
01:01:45,955 --> 01:01:47,539
I don't want to wake
up in a shitty house
1673
01:01:47,540 --> 01:01:48,749
I share with two other people.
1674
01:01:48,750 --> 01:01:50,542
And I want to be
honest, you guys don't
1675
01:01:50,543 --> 01:01:52,670
- put on enough deodorant.
- What?
1676
01:01:52,671 --> 01:01:54,254
Take that back, man.
1677
01:01:54,255 --> 01:01:55,881
You guys have smelled
a little bit bad
1678
01:01:55,882 --> 01:01:57,549
- for as long as I've known you.
- Whatever, Mart.
1679
01:01:57,550 --> 01:01:59,718
You're obsessed with this
girl that you're lying to.
1680
01:01:59,719 --> 01:02:01,804
And you want to have sex
with your own father.
1681
01:02:01,805 --> 01:02:03,055
Better than being
friends with you.
1682
01:02:03,056 --> 01:02:04,932
I would rather have
sex with my dad
1683
01:02:04,933 --> 01:02:07,476
and suck on his nuts
than be friends with you.
1684
01:02:07,477 --> 01:02:09,061
- There you go.
- That sounds bad.
1685
01:02:09,062 --> 01:02:10,729
I get that that sounds
bad, and I take that back.
1686
01:02:10,730 --> 01:02:12,106
- All right.
- MARTIN: Maybe you're right.
1687
01:02:12,107 --> 01:02:13,816
Maybe this is just
making all of us unhappy.
1688
01:02:13,817 --> 01:02:15,651
Yeah, no. That's
what I'm saying.
1689
01:02:15,652 --> 01:02:17,821
♪ ♪
1690
01:02:24,285 --> 01:02:28,873
You guys realize how rare
it is to find great friends?
1691
01:02:34,337 --> 01:02:36,256
Asshole.
1692
01:02:41,261 --> 01:02:45,181
NARRATOR: So John
went back to the cult.
1693
01:02:46,307 --> 01:02:49,601
And Lisa, also lost
without her friend,
1694
01:02:49,602 --> 01:02:51,603
stayed, too.
1695
01:02:51,604 --> 01:02:56,191
Ben and Martin made it home
and began searching for someone
1696
01:02:56,192 --> 01:03:00,029
rich and tasteless enough
to buy their treasure.
1697
01:03:00,030 --> 01:03:02,072
With John no longer
in their lives,
1698
01:03:02,073 --> 01:03:04,158
they became the
versions of themselves
1699
01:03:04,159 --> 01:03:06,828
they always wanted to be.
1700
01:03:10,373 --> 01:03:13,292
("And Now There's
No You" playing)
1701
01:03:13,293 --> 01:03:15,337
(quiet chatter)
1702
01:03:20,633 --> 01:03:22,134
What can I get you?
1703
01:03:22,135 --> 01:03:24,970
I'll do the sausage
plate with a black coffee
1704
01:03:24,971 --> 01:03:26,972
and a double whiskey, neat.
1705
01:03:26,973 --> 01:03:29,558
- All right.
- Thanks, darling.
1706
01:03:29,559 --> 01:03:32,853
♪ There's a moon in the sky ♪
1707
01:03:32,854 --> 01:03:34,563
(door opens, bell jingles)
1708
01:03:34,564 --> 01:03:40,027
♪ There are stars way up high ♪
1709
01:03:40,028 --> 01:03:44,907
♪ And I hear a whippoorwill... ♪
1710
01:03:44,908 --> 01:03:47,077
Have a seat.
1711
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:50,579
How have you been?
1712
01:03:50,580 --> 01:03:52,164
I've been good as shit, man.
1713
01:03:52,165 --> 01:03:54,958
Yeah. Uh, I don't know if
you heard, but next week,
1714
01:03:54,959 --> 01:03:57,294
I am officially taking
over Trout Plus.
1715
01:03:57,295 --> 01:03:58,754
Hmm.
1716
01:03:58,755 --> 01:04:00,297
Noticed your hair is...
1717
01:04:00,298 --> 01:04:02,966
Jesus style.
They're extensions.
1718
01:04:02,967 --> 01:04:04,510
- Yeah. Amy loves it.
- It's cool, man.
1719
01:04:04,511 --> 01:04:07,846
You look like a... a
born-again member of Metallica.
1720
01:04:07,847 --> 01:04:10,683
You look like if Reba
was on Undercover Boss.
1721
01:04:10,684 --> 01:04:12,101
So I wouldn't be throwing stones
1722
01:04:12,102 --> 01:04:14,354
from that glass house of yours.
1723
01:04:15,397 --> 01:04:17,022
Look, as you know,
the sale is tonight,
1724
01:04:17,023 --> 01:04:18,857
so I just wanted to
get on the same page
1725
01:04:18,858 --> 01:04:20,526
about some of the
financials here.
1726
01:04:20,527 --> 01:04:22,403
(indistinct chatter outside)
1727
01:04:22,404 --> 01:04:24,072
Oh, my God, Ben.
1728
01:04:25,073 --> 01:04:26,532
What the...
1729
01:04:26,533 --> 01:04:28,826
- Are those the, uh...
- The cult people.
1730
01:04:28,827 --> 01:04:30,828
Okay. Oh, someone saw us.
1731
01:04:30,829 --> 01:04:32,121
- Oh, my God.
- Somebody saw...
1732
01:04:32,122 --> 01:04:33,706
- Oh, oh. He's coming over here.
- Oh.
1733
01:04:33,707 --> 01:04:35,165
Head down, head down, head down.
-Is he still coming?
1734
01:04:35,166 --> 01:04:37,919
- He's right there.
- Oh, my God.
1735
01:04:39,170 --> 01:04:41,630
BEN: Oh, he's coming
in. He's coming in.
1736
01:04:41,631 --> 01:04:43,174
- MARTIN: Shoot.
- BEN: Ooh.
1737
01:04:52,267 --> 01:04:53,226
John?
1738
01:04:53,227 --> 01:04:54,351
Aah!
1739
01:04:54,352 --> 01:04:56,478
- Hey.
- JOHN: Crazy running into you.
1740
01:04:56,479 --> 01:04:58,439
I was just down here
picking up some gasoline.
1741
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:00,024
You know how it is.
1742
01:05:00,025 --> 01:05:02,568
(chuckles) You
guys look amazing.
1743
01:05:02,569 --> 01:05:03,902
Thank you. Yeah.
1744
01:05:03,903 --> 01:05:05,446
You, uh... you look...
1745
01:05:05,447 --> 01:05:06,905
Yeah, thanks so much.
1746
01:05:06,906 --> 01:05:09,825
Just living up with the
cult: dancing, Molly.
1747
01:05:09,826 --> 01:05:11,452
(chuckling): It's
too much, man.
1748
01:05:11,453 --> 01:05:12,619
It's every day.
1749
01:05:12,620 --> 01:05:14,163
You do Molly every day?
1750
01:05:14,164 --> 01:05:16,081
Yeah. It's unsustainable.
1751
01:05:16,082 --> 01:05:18,250
(indistinct chatter outside)
1752
01:05:18,251 --> 01:05:20,502
- Are we good?
- Yep, yep.
1753
01:05:20,503 --> 01:05:22,296
- Just be cool.
- BEN: You're okay, though?
1754
01:05:22,297 --> 01:05:24,298
Me? No. Yes.
1755
01:05:24,299 --> 01:05:26,258
- How's Lisa been?
- Doesn't talk to me.
1756
01:05:26,259 --> 01:05:28,135
I don't remember
if I was mad at her
1757
01:05:28,136 --> 01:05:31,430
or she was mad at me, but
I kind of missed my window.
1758
01:05:31,431 --> 01:05:33,098
- Have you tried to leave?
- Every time I bring it up,
1759
01:05:33,099 --> 01:05:35,768
Deetch, like, mentions
my mom's address.
1760
01:05:35,769 --> 01:05:36,935
It's not a threat or anything.
1761
01:05:36,936 --> 01:05:38,187
I would just imagine
that he's saying
1762
01:05:38,188 --> 01:05:39,605
if I left, he'd kill my mom.
1763
01:05:39,606 --> 01:05:40,773
That sounds like a threat.
1764
01:05:40,774 --> 01:05:42,149
That's really scary.
1765
01:05:42,150 --> 01:05:44,151
Hey, did you guys ever, um...
1766
01:05:44,152 --> 01:05:46,111
did you guys ever sell Marge?
1767
01:05:46,112 --> 01:05:47,696
It's funny you should ask.
1768
01:05:47,697 --> 01:05:49,698
Uh, we're actually selling
it tonight at Trout Plus.
1769
01:05:49,699 --> 01:05:51,325
- Tonight?
- Took us a couple weeks,
1770
01:05:51,326 --> 01:05:53,869
but we found a
high-profile buyer.
1771
01:05:53,870 --> 01:05:55,497
That's fucking awesome.
1772
01:05:58,667 --> 01:06:00,460
You got to save me.
1773
01:06:03,004 --> 01:06:04,171
What did you say?
1774
01:06:04,172 --> 01:06:05,798
It's just, we're all grown-up.
1775
01:06:05,799 --> 01:06:07,508
It's so weird.
1776
01:06:07,509 --> 01:06:09,177
You got to save me.
1777
01:06:09,928 --> 01:06:11,136
- Save you?
- Dude.
1778
01:06:11,137 --> 01:06:12,930
They have white
chocolate pancakes here?
1779
01:06:12,931 --> 01:06:14,807
Look at those
fucking guys outside.
1780
01:06:14,808 --> 01:06:16,308
MARTIN: Oh, my God.
1781
01:06:16,309 --> 01:06:17,851
- JOHN: Everybody, be silent.
- Nope, nope, nope, nope.
1782
01:06:17,852 --> 01:06:20,979
Guys, I hope you're
happy. I really do.
1783
01:06:20,980 --> 01:06:23,565
I hope life's everything
you wanted it to be.
1784
01:06:23,566 --> 01:06:25,359
Save me if you can.
1785
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:28,405
- I'll see you on the flip.
- (door opens, bell jingles)
1786
01:06:29,197 --> 01:06:31,156
Hey, guys! I'm back.
1787
01:06:31,157 --> 01:06:32,825
- Sorry about that.
- Get in the van!
1788
01:06:32,826 --> 01:06:34,451
- (man grunts)
- JOHN: Ow!
1789
01:06:34,452 --> 01:06:36,036
(engine starts)
1790
01:06:36,037 --> 01:06:37,663
(vehicle departing)
1791
01:06:37,664 --> 01:06:39,331
Do you think he's okay?
1792
01:06:39,332 --> 01:06:41,041
He-he made his choice, okay?
1793
01:06:41,042 --> 01:06:42,543
Like, for the first
time in our lives,
1794
01:06:42,544 --> 01:06:45,296
we're the perfect
versions of ourselves.
1795
01:06:46,089 --> 01:06:47,089
Yeah, you're right.
1796
01:06:47,090 --> 01:06:48,799
See you tonight.
1797
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:50,509
Sounds good.
1798
01:06:50,510 --> 01:06:52,219
- MAN: Yes, hold the bike.
- (camera clicking)
1799
01:06:52,220 --> 01:06:53,971
Yes. Good. Great.
1800
01:06:53,972 --> 01:06:55,055
All right, Ben, we're gonna need
1801
01:06:55,056 --> 01:06:56,306
to be a little more sexier.
1802
01:06:56,307 --> 01:06:58,600
Yeah, that's the
stuff. Okay, yes.
1803
01:06:58,601 --> 01:07:00,019
My son.
1804
01:07:00,020 --> 01:07:02,229
Face of Grills
and Guns magazine.
1805
01:07:02,230 --> 01:07:04,398
(chuckles) Hey,
Dylan, tilt up!
1806
01:07:04,399 --> 01:07:06,483
I can see the bags
under his eyes, dumbass!
1807
01:07:06,484 --> 01:07:07,693
Come on!
1808
01:07:07,694 --> 01:07:08,944
- Sorry.
- God.
1809
01:07:08,945 --> 01:07:10,279
What a piece of shit.
1810
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:11,530
PHOTOGRAPHER: Okay,
give me sexier.
1811
01:07:11,531 --> 01:07:12,990
- Yeah, I want something sexy.
- Yeah.
1812
01:07:12,991 --> 01:07:14,700
There it is.
1813
01:07:14,701 --> 01:07:16,201
Now let's try one where you feel
1814
01:07:16,202 --> 01:07:18,495
extremely guilty
about something.
1815
01:07:18,496 --> 01:07:20,205
- Yeah, there we go.
- (Farley chuckling)
1816
01:07:20,206 --> 01:07:21,540
Did you guys hear that?
1817
01:07:21,541 --> 01:07:24,084
PHOTOGRAPHER: Good.
We love it. Okay.
1818
01:07:24,085 --> 01:07:25,544
That's fine.
1819
01:07:25,545 --> 01:07:27,338
- (engine starts)
- (people gasping)
1820
01:07:27,339 --> 01:07:29,173
Easy, son. That's
a floor model.
1821
01:07:29,174 --> 01:07:30,799
BEN: Dad, this isn't me.
1822
01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:32,217
I mean, what am I wearing?
1823
01:07:32,218 --> 01:07:34,553
I look like the CEO of
LongHorn Steakhouse.
1824
01:07:34,554 --> 01:07:35,763
Dad, I'm sorry.
1825
01:07:35,764 --> 01:07:37,222
- I'll be back for the sale.
- (engine revs)
1826
01:07:37,223 --> 01:07:39,516
(indistinct chatter)
1827
01:07:39,517 --> 01:07:40,726
Martin.
1828
01:07:40,727 --> 01:07:42,353
Hey, Martin.
1829
01:07:42,354 --> 01:07:44,480
I was just telling Father
that after the sale tonight
1830
01:07:44,481 --> 01:07:47,274
we'll be able to make a large
donation to the diocese.
1831
01:07:47,275 --> 01:07:49,902
That money will go a long
way in fighting our lawsuits.
1832
01:07:49,903 --> 01:07:51,195
AMY: Of course.
1833
01:07:51,196 --> 01:07:53,864
Amy, the salad you
made, it's amazing.
1834
01:07:53,865 --> 01:07:55,199
AMY: Oh, thank you.
1835
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:56,575
I also brought dessert.
1836
01:07:56,576 --> 01:07:58,911
My famous smoochies.
I'll be right back.
1837
01:07:58,912 --> 01:07:59,995
WOMAN: Oh, damn,
here they come.
1838
01:07:59,996 --> 01:08:01,414
WOMAN 2: They're so good.
1839
01:08:04,959 --> 01:08:06,126
What are you doing?
1840
01:08:06,127 --> 01:08:07,586
Oh, I'm allergic to walnuts.
1841
01:08:07,587 --> 01:08:08,921
Does Amy not know?
1842
01:08:08,922 --> 01:08:10,339
No, she thinks I
love this salad.
1843
01:08:10,340 --> 01:08:12,007
Fuck, you got to start
eating these, man.
1844
01:08:12,008 --> 01:08:14,259
Go, go, go! Hurry!
1845
01:08:14,260 --> 01:08:15,636
You got to go faster
than I'm going,
1846
01:08:15,637 --> 01:08:17,513
or else the pile just
stays the same size.
1847
01:08:17,514 --> 01:08:21,392
I love Amy, but I am in
a hell of my own making.
1848
01:08:21,393 --> 01:08:23,644
- Do you guys hear a motorcycle?
- Oh, my God.
1849
01:08:23,645 --> 01:08:25,854
Alert the press. This
church is close to a road.
1850
01:08:25,855 --> 01:08:27,690
(motorcycle pulls up
outside, engine stops)
1851
01:08:27,691 --> 01:08:29,566
Don't laugh. You're
not my friend.
1852
01:08:29,567 --> 01:08:31,026
Martin!
1853
01:08:31,027 --> 01:08:32,945
(people gasping, murmuring)
1854
01:08:32,946 --> 01:08:35,281
Let's go save our friend.
1855
01:08:38,535 --> 01:08:40,828
- What's going on?
- MARTIN: Baby, I'm sorry.
1856
01:08:40,829 --> 01:08:42,538
I'll see you at the sale.
1857
01:08:42,539 --> 01:08:44,916
- Now, let's get some haircuts.
- (chuckles)
1858
01:08:45,917 --> 01:08:47,459
What...
1859
01:08:47,460 --> 01:08:49,712
Oh, by the way, your weird
friend ate all my walnuts.
1860
01:08:49,713 --> 01:08:51,839
I tried to stop him.
I don't know what...
1861
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:53,632
(dance music playing)
1862
01:08:53,633 --> 01:08:55,468
(crowd murmuring)
1863
01:08:57,178 --> 01:08:58,887
JOHN: Test. Testing.
1864
01:08:58,888 --> 01:09:01,265
- (static crackling)
- (groans)
1865
01:09:01,266 --> 01:09:03,767
Why am I the one that
has to fix this head?
1866
01:09:03,768 --> 01:09:06,311
Um, just came to get my flower
crown. Have you seen it?
1867
01:09:06,312 --> 01:09:08,147
{\an8}You're looking right at it.
1868
01:09:08,148 --> 01:09:10,483
{\an8}Oh, didn't know
that one was mine.
1869
01:09:11,568 --> 01:09:14,111
Can we just talk to
each other, please?
1870
01:09:14,112 --> 01:09:15,487
We could've been talking.
1871
01:09:15,488 --> 01:09:17,114
We could've been
hanging out every day.
1872
01:09:17,115 --> 01:09:18,323
But whatever.
1873
01:09:18,324 --> 01:09:19,700
I'm gonna go see my new friends.
1874
01:09:19,701 --> 01:09:21,410
Of course they love you.
You do whatever they say.
1875
01:09:21,411 --> 01:09:22,828
'Cause you're a follower.
1876
01:09:22,829 --> 01:09:24,163
Well, no one likes you,
1877
01:09:24,164 --> 01:09:25,707
because you're a bad friend.
1878
01:09:27,500 --> 01:09:30,502
Me being a bad
friend... that's rich.
1879
01:09:30,503 --> 01:09:32,004
If I'm such a bad friend...
1880
01:09:32,005 --> 01:09:34,715
(over speaker): why would
I set up a magic trick
1881
01:09:34,716 --> 01:09:37,092
to steal the treasure
back from Deetch
1882
01:09:37,093 --> 01:09:39,011
and give it to my friends?
1883
01:09:39,012 --> 01:09:40,679
And tonight, they're selling it
1884
01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:44,850
for $110 million at
Trout Plus on Abercorn.
1885
01:09:44,851 --> 01:09:47,019
Not the one that's on Mumford.
1886
01:09:47,020 --> 01:09:49,104
- The one that's on Abercorn.
- Okay.
1887
01:09:49,105 --> 01:09:52,233
JOHN (over speaker): God, it's
just nice to talk, you know?
1888
01:09:53,026 --> 01:09:55,402
No skin masks, no disguises.
1889
01:09:55,403 --> 01:09:57,696
Tonight, we show the
world exactly who we are.
1890
01:09:57,697 --> 01:09:59,448
Deetch, you don't
have to do this.
1891
01:09:59,449 --> 01:10:01,618
What would you get
out of destroying it?
1892
01:10:04,746 --> 01:10:07,122
It's a hundred million dollars.
1893
01:10:07,123 --> 01:10:10,542
I'm not gonna destroy
it, you stupid bitch.
1894
01:10:10,543 --> 01:10:12,211
- You are insane.
- Am I?
1895
01:10:12,212 --> 01:10:14,546
What would you have
done with the money?
1896
01:10:14,547 --> 01:10:16,548
I would've gone to London
with my two best friends.
1897
01:10:16,549 --> 01:10:20,386
You don't need a hundred
million dollars to do that.
1898
01:10:20,387 --> 01:10:23,055
Your friends just don't
want to go with you.
1899
01:10:23,056 --> 01:10:25,849
No, no, no, no, no, no, don't.
1900
01:10:25,850 --> 01:10:29,395
(over speaker): No! There
might be a bug in here!
1901
01:10:29,396 --> 01:10:31,730
- Gun it, Lisa.
- (engine revving)
1902
01:10:31,731 --> 01:10:33,315
JOHN (over speaker): Lisa,
don't go down with him.
1903
01:10:33,316 --> 01:10:35,109
He's a liar! He
wants to keep it!
1904
01:10:35,110 --> 01:10:37,653
- (engine revving loudly)
- I'm sorry, Lisa!
1905
01:10:37,654 --> 01:10:39,781
♪ ♪
1906
01:10:43,743 --> 01:10:46,496
- Here we come, Johnny boy!
- Here we come, man!
1907
01:10:48,164 --> 01:10:50,458
♪ ♪
1908
01:10:53,586 --> 01:10:56,296
- (busy chatter)
- FARLEY: Okay. Where's Ben?
1909
01:10:56,297 --> 01:10:57,840
Buyer's almost here.
1910
01:10:57,841 --> 01:11:00,926
Hey, and why are the hors
d'oeuvres not here yet?
1911
01:11:00,927 --> 01:11:02,886
And who the hell are you?
1912
01:11:02,887 --> 01:11:04,179
I'm the appraiser.
1913
01:11:04,180 --> 01:11:05,681
The buyer sent me
in from Sotheby's.
1914
01:11:05,682 --> 01:11:08,434
Yeah, well, your weird
face is ruining the vibe.
1915
01:11:08,435 --> 01:11:09,810
I'm trying to set a mood.
1916
01:11:09,811 --> 01:11:11,186
This is a big deal.
1917
01:11:11,187 --> 01:11:12,813
This guy's an A-lister.
1918
01:11:12,814 --> 01:11:15,107
(horn honking)
1919
01:11:15,108 --> 01:11:16,191
Oh, my God!
1920
01:11:16,192 --> 01:11:18,235
That's him! He's here! Mwah!
1921
01:11:18,236 --> 01:11:20,404
Everybody, the buyer's here!
1922
01:11:20,405 --> 01:11:23,032
Come on! Dylan, vacuum!
1923
01:11:23,033 --> 01:11:24,950
Get it out! Get it out now! Go!
1924
01:11:24,951 --> 01:11:26,118
Everybody on the line!
1925
01:11:26,119 --> 01:11:27,745
This is the real thing!
1926
01:11:27,746 --> 01:11:29,455
♪ ♪
1927
01:11:29,456 --> 01:11:31,707
♪ I'm so fly, I can't lie ♪
1928
01:11:31,708 --> 01:11:33,876
♪ When they see me,
that's that guy ♪
1929
01:11:33,877 --> 01:11:36,337
♪ Like it's easy, I just
ride, wanna be me... ♪
1930
01:11:36,338 --> 01:11:38,964
AMY: Is that Dustin
from Stranger Things?
1931
01:11:38,965 --> 01:11:40,174
Yes, it is.
1932
01:11:40,175 --> 01:11:41,675
Gaten Matarazzo... (sighs)
1933
01:11:41,676 --> 01:11:43,302
- welcome to my store.
- Yeah, well, you can
1934
01:11:43,303 --> 01:11:44,303
just call me that
pretty motherfucker
1935
01:11:44,304 --> 01:11:45,429
from Stranger Things.
1936
01:11:45,430 --> 01:11:46,972
- (laughing): Oh.
- GATEN: Ha-ha.
1937
01:11:46,973 --> 01:11:48,515
- Oh, incredible.
- I'm joking.
1938
01:11:48,516 --> 01:11:50,769
I'm playing. I'm playing.
1939
01:11:51,853 --> 01:11:53,103
Oh, yeah, please.
1940
01:11:53,104 --> 01:11:55,064
This part of the country
makes me uncomfortable.
1941
01:11:55,065 --> 01:11:58,150
JOHN (over speaker): ♪
She's always on my mind ♪
1942
01:11:58,151 --> 01:12:01,612
- ♪ I'm running out of time ♪
- (motorcycle approaching)
1943
01:12:01,613 --> 01:12:04,948
♪ I miss my friends,
smoking on a... ♪
1944
01:12:04,949 --> 01:12:06,116
What the hell?
1945
01:12:06,117 --> 01:12:07,534
- (gasping)
- John?
1946
01:12:07,535 --> 01:12:09,119
You guys came back.
1947
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:11,288
Dude, we are so sorry, man!
1948
01:12:11,289 --> 01:12:12,414
We never should've
left you here.
1949
01:12:12,415 --> 01:12:13,624
- Never. That was insane.
- Dude.
1950
01:12:13,625 --> 01:12:14,917
- Oh, my God!
- They tied you up?
1951
01:12:14,918 --> 01:12:17,169
Dude, yes. Deetch
went crazy, man.
1952
01:12:17,170 --> 01:12:19,338
- (panting)
- Wait. Where is everyone?
1953
01:12:19,339 --> 01:12:20,422
They found out
about the treasure.
1954
01:12:20,423 --> 01:12:21,548
- What?
- Deetch found out.
1955
01:12:21,549 --> 01:12:22,884
How did he find out?
1956
01:12:23,718 --> 01:12:25,219
- It doesn't matter.
- You told him?
1957
01:12:25,220 --> 01:12:27,012
- John! Come on, man!
- I'm sorry, dude.
1958
01:12:27,013 --> 01:12:28,972
We got to go. We got
to go to Trout Plus.
1959
01:12:28,973 --> 01:12:31,809
♪ ♪
1960
01:12:31,810 --> 01:12:33,686
(quiet murmuring)
1961
01:12:33,687 --> 01:12:36,397
Okay. Lisa, stay here.
Take the back entrance.
1962
01:12:36,398 --> 01:12:38,399
Make sure no one leaves.
1963
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:40,359
Oh, Deetch, I thought we...
1964
01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:41,985
Oh, oh, my God.
1965
01:12:41,986 --> 01:12:44,072
♪ ♪
1966
01:13:01,756 --> 01:13:03,549
♪ ♪
1967
01:13:03,550 --> 01:13:07,678
I think you have something
that belongs to me.
1968
01:13:07,679 --> 01:13:09,764
♪ ♪
1969
01:13:10,932 --> 01:13:12,975
We're closed.
1970
01:13:12,976 --> 01:13:16,729
Oh, um, we-we're here
to steal the treasure.
1971
01:13:16,730 --> 01:13:19,314
♪ ♪
1972
01:13:19,315 --> 01:13:21,233
Oh, no!
1973
01:13:21,234 --> 01:13:22,526
Where are we going, John?
1974
01:13:22,527 --> 01:13:24,445
There's no way we're
gonna make it in time.
1975
01:13:24,446 --> 01:13:26,740
There's one way.
1976
01:13:29,784 --> 01:13:32,161
John, what are we doing here?
1977
01:13:32,162 --> 01:13:34,205
(wind whistling)
1978
01:13:36,958 --> 01:13:40,086
- Dude, you gonna fly down?
- (sighs)
1979
01:13:41,463 --> 01:13:42,880
JOHN: That's Trout Plus.
1980
01:13:42,881 --> 01:13:45,257
This is the only way
we'll make it in time.
1981
01:13:45,258 --> 01:13:47,426
No, John, we did this once, man.
1982
01:13:47,427 --> 01:13:49,595
I don't know if you
remember... I became a kite.
1983
01:13:49,596 --> 01:13:51,096
You guys, we got
to get Marge back.
1984
01:13:51,097 --> 01:13:54,183
Let's do it for the
people that you guys love.
1985
01:13:54,184 --> 01:13:56,977
Mart, I've been a dick
to your girlfriend, man.
1986
01:13:56,978 --> 01:14:00,105
If I'm being honest, I don't
know her last name even.
1987
01:14:00,106 --> 01:14:01,106
It's Murphy.
1988
01:14:01,107 --> 01:14:02,191
- Murphy.
- Murphy.
1989
01:14:02,192 --> 01:14:03,317
That's beautiful.
1990
01:14:03,318 --> 01:14:04,735
- Thank you.
- And, Benny,
1991
01:14:04,736 --> 01:14:06,445
I feel like a big
part of the reason why
1992
01:14:06,446 --> 01:14:08,280
you and your dad have
a weird relationship
1993
01:14:08,281 --> 01:14:10,699
is 'cause I write Yelp
reviews complaining about you,
1994
01:14:10,700 --> 01:14:13,619
hoping Farley sees
them and fires you.
1995
01:14:13,620 --> 01:14:15,412
- What?
- Yeah, dude.
1996
01:14:15,413 --> 01:14:16,663
- Why?
- Because I wanted him
1997
01:14:16,664 --> 01:14:18,290
to get fired so
we could go, like,
1998
01:14:18,291 --> 01:14:19,458
bowling more or
some stupid shit.
1999
01:14:19,459 --> 01:14:20,709
- What the fuck?
- Oh, my God.
2000
01:14:20,710 --> 01:14:22,127
I don't know, man.
I'm fucked-up.
2001
01:14:22,128 --> 01:14:24,630
When I was a kid, you
guys were there for me.
2002
01:14:24,631 --> 01:14:27,049
I wasn't Penis Boy to you
guys. I was just John.
2003
01:14:27,050 --> 01:14:29,760
And I've been an asshole,
but I can change.
2004
01:14:29,761 --> 01:14:31,428
I'll get to know Amy Miller.
2005
01:14:31,429 --> 01:14:32,554
I just said Murphy, John.
2006
01:14:32,555 --> 01:14:33,931
- Murphy, Murphy.
- Murphy, dude.
2007
01:14:33,932 --> 01:14:35,432
- I'd appreciate it if...
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
2008
01:14:35,433 --> 01:14:37,852
I can't hold you
guys back anymore.
2009
01:14:38,687 --> 01:14:40,188
I know that now.
2010
01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:45,860
♪ ♪
2011
01:14:52,784 --> 01:14:54,451
JOHN: All right, boys.
2012
01:14:54,452 --> 01:14:56,495
Wish me luck.
2013
01:14:56,496 --> 01:14:58,163
BEN: Wait!
2014
01:14:58,164 --> 01:14:59,540
We're coming with you.
2015
01:14:59,541 --> 01:15:02,418
I'd rather die than
live without you, boys.
2016
01:15:02,419 --> 01:15:04,795
Now let's go make
a hundred million.
2017
01:15:04,796 --> 01:15:06,505
Whoo!
2018
01:15:06,506 --> 01:15:09,049
Yeah, now, come on, boys.
2019
01:15:09,050 --> 01:15:10,634
It's Fly Day Friday.
2020
01:15:10,635 --> 01:15:13,555
("Take Me Out" by Franz
Ferdinand playing)
2021
01:15:19,227 --> 01:15:21,770
(wind whistling)
2022
01:15:21,771 --> 01:15:24,148
- ♪ Take me out ♪
- (whooping)
2023
01:15:24,149 --> 01:15:25,649
♪ ♪
2024
01:15:25,650 --> 01:15:28,736
(whooping continues)
2025
01:15:28,737 --> 01:15:31,740
BEN: I'm not a kite anymore!
2026
01:15:32,532 --> 01:15:34,366
I fucking love you guys!
2027
01:15:34,367 --> 01:15:36,327
I love you, too, man!
2028
01:15:37,495 --> 01:15:39,496
Holy shit!
2029
01:15:39,497 --> 01:15:41,457
It's the hawk!
2030
01:15:41,458 --> 01:15:43,625
We inspired him to fly!
2031
01:15:43,626 --> 01:15:45,461
- Good job, dude!
- Yeah!
2032
01:15:45,462 --> 01:15:48,547
JOHN: We're almost
there! I feel amazing!
2033
01:15:48,548 --> 01:15:50,716
- (fabric ripping)
- No, no, no, no! No!
2034
01:15:50,717 --> 01:15:52,676
What happened? What's wrong?
2035
01:15:52,677 --> 01:15:54,470
JOHN: The hawk ripped my suit!
2036
01:15:54,471 --> 01:15:56,555
- BEN: What?
- My penis slipped out!
2037
01:15:56,556 --> 01:15:57,806
BEN: Are you serious?
2038
01:15:57,807 --> 01:16:00,142
How does this always
happen to you?
2039
01:16:00,143 --> 01:16:02,436
JOHN: Dude, what's
up with the hawk?
2040
01:16:02,437 --> 01:16:04,355
BEN: Put your penis away.
2041
01:16:04,356 --> 01:16:06,482
JOHN: Oh, yeah. Sorry.
2042
01:16:06,483 --> 01:16:08,067
Is John's dick out?
2043
01:16:08,068 --> 01:16:10,110
- (murmuring, snarling)
- FARLEY: What's going on?
2044
01:16:10,111 --> 01:16:11,653
Who are you people?
2045
01:16:11,654 --> 01:16:14,531
We've come to
destroy the treasure.
2046
01:16:14,532 --> 01:16:16,158
(cheering)
2047
01:16:16,159 --> 01:16:20,121
That is one of the ideas
we are floating around.
2048
01:16:20,914 --> 01:16:23,374
I mean, I know I have a
lot of catching up to do,
2049
01:16:23,375 --> 01:16:24,750
but, guys, seriously,
2050
01:16:24,751 --> 01:16:26,251
I don't even know why
you're listening to him.
2051
01:16:26,252 --> 01:16:27,586
See, I'm from Hollywood.
2052
01:16:27,587 --> 01:16:29,672
I know a poseur when
I see one. Trust me.
2053
01:16:29,673 --> 01:16:31,507
This guy doesn't matter.
2054
01:16:31,508 --> 01:16:33,467
What matters is art.
2055
01:16:33,468 --> 01:16:35,969
It is value... real
priceless value.
2056
01:16:35,970 --> 01:16:37,388
(yells)
2057
01:16:37,389 --> 01:16:39,264
(people gasping, screaming)
2058
01:16:39,265 --> 01:16:40,766
(groaning)
2059
01:16:40,767 --> 01:16:44,478
Deetch doesn't matter?
All lives matter. (laughs)
2060
01:16:44,479 --> 01:16:46,021
EMPLOYEE: What the
hell did he just say?
2061
01:16:46,022 --> 01:16:49,942
Okay, we're all in
this together, right?
2062
01:16:49,943 --> 01:16:52,486
CULT MEMBERS: Yeah!
2063
01:16:52,487 --> 01:16:53,696
(whooping)
2064
01:16:53,697 --> 01:16:55,447
Dude, it's so beautiful up here.
2065
01:16:55,448 --> 01:16:57,282
- I love it.
- MARTIN: So peaceful.
2066
01:16:57,283 --> 01:16:58,826
It's peaceful.
2067
01:16:58,827 --> 01:17:00,202
BEN: Wait a second, guys.
2068
01:17:00,203 --> 01:17:01,537
How do we land?
2069
01:17:01,538 --> 01:17:03,789
Huh. Yeah, I don't know.
2070
01:17:03,790 --> 01:17:05,791
MARTIN: I think we just
got to drag our legs
2071
01:17:05,792 --> 01:17:07,459
until they hit the
ground and go...
2072
01:17:07,460 --> 01:17:10,880
- (people screaming)
- (groaning)
2073
01:17:12,841 --> 01:17:15,343
- Oh, my God.
- (groaning)
2074
01:17:17,178 --> 01:17:19,638
(yelling)
2075
01:17:19,639 --> 01:17:21,850
(gasping breaths)
2076
01:17:23,018 --> 01:17:24,144
Dad!
2077
01:17:25,729 --> 01:17:27,354
How are you alive?
2078
01:17:27,355 --> 01:17:30,149
BEN: The adrenaline.
We're like superheroes!
2079
01:17:30,150 --> 01:17:33,402
(groans) Oh, I died.
2080
01:17:33,403 --> 01:17:35,362
Is this hell?
2081
01:17:35,363 --> 01:17:36,989
Martin! Are you okay?
2082
01:17:36,990 --> 01:17:41,493
(sighs) Poppy, play
our war anthem.
2083
01:17:41,494 --> 01:17:42,828
War anthem?
2084
01:17:42,829 --> 01:17:45,165
(electrical buzzing)
2085
01:17:46,750 --> 01:17:49,043
("Young Folks" by Peter
Bjorn and John playing)
2086
01:17:49,044 --> 01:17:51,670
So we have to fight
these purple guys,
2087
01:17:51,671 --> 01:17:54,715
and if we don't, they'll steal
our treasure and murder us.
2088
01:17:54,716 --> 01:17:56,508
BEN and JOHN: Yes.
2089
01:17:56,509 --> 01:17:58,260
BEN: Ever been in
a fight before?
2090
01:17:58,261 --> 01:18:00,137
No. I don't think
they have, either.
2091
01:18:00,138 --> 01:18:02,056
But they have, like, weapons and shit.
-It's all right.
2092
01:18:02,057 --> 01:18:03,724
- Just use your confidence.
- Okay. Yep.
2093
01:18:03,725 --> 01:18:05,642
- Have some confidence.
- Put your hands up.
2094
01:18:05,643 --> 01:18:07,186
(all yelling)
2095
01:18:07,187 --> 01:18:10,939
♪ And we don't care
about the young folks ♪
2096
01:18:10,940 --> 01:18:14,026
♪ Talking 'bout
the young style ♪
2097
01:18:14,027 --> 01:18:15,402
♪ And we don't care about... ♪
2098
01:18:15,403 --> 01:18:18,238
What the hell is going
on? This is insane!
2099
01:18:18,239 --> 01:18:20,908
(grunting, yelling)
2100
01:18:20,909 --> 01:18:24,870
♪ And we don't care
about their own faults ♪
2101
01:18:24,871 --> 01:18:26,622
- ♪ Talking 'bout... ♪
- Fuck!
2102
01:18:26,623 --> 01:18:28,540
FARLEY: Don't worry,
guys. I'm in charge.
2103
01:18:28,541 --> 01:18:30,752
I'll protect everyone.
2104
01:18:31,586 --> 01:18:32,753
Kevin.
2105
01:18:32,754 --> 01:18:34,380
Dude, we just had
breakfast together.
2106
01:18:34,381 --> 01:18:36,340
You're brainwashed, dude.
Please don't chop my head off.
2107
01:18:36,341 --> 01:18:38,467
♪ And we don't care about
the young folks... ♪
2108
01:18:38,468 --> 01:18:40,219
- Oh.
- Amy.
2109
01:18:40,220 --> 01:18:41,720
- (laughing): John.
- Oh, what?
2110
01:18:41,721 --> 01:18:43,514
(grunting)
2111
01:18:43,515 --> 01:18:44,890
Oh, my God.
2112
01:18:44,891 --> 01:18:46,725
- Teamwork.
- Teamwork.
2113
01:18:46,726 --> 01:18:49,019
- Oh, my God!
- (screaming)
2114
01:18:49,020 --> 01:18:50,771
- Is that Gaten Matarazzo?
- (sobbing): Yes.
2115
01:18:50,772 --> 01:18:52,731
(John screaming)
2116
01:18:52,732 --> 01:18:54,275
Is that John?
2117
01:18:55,777 --> 01:18:56,902
Whoa.
2118
01:18:56,903 --> 01:18:58,570
Um, I am in the wrong room,
2119
01:18:58,571 --> 01:19:01,448
so I think I'm just gonna
go, and whatever... (gasps)
2120
01:19:01,449 --> 01:19:04,076
LISA: Stop. Wait. No,
no. What are we doing?
2121
01:19:04,077 --> 01:19:06,453
W-We're not gonna kill
this little person
2122
01:19:06,454 --> 01:19:09,581
just because, you know,
a maniac told us to.
2123
01:19:09,582 --> 01:19:11,209
'Cause we're not followers.
2124
01:19:12,127 --> 01:19:14,044
You guys don't need this cult.
2125
01:19:14,045 --> 01:19:16,338
You have free will and
all this possibility.
2126
01:19:16,339 --> 01:19:19,341
Like, you could be a
dancer; and you, a singer.
2127
01:19:19,342 --> 01:19:20,759
And you could be...
2128
01:19:20,760 --> 01:19:23,762
on Duck Dynasty, I guess.
2129
01:19:23,763 --> 01:19:25,806
- Let's show him who's boss!
- (cheering)
2130
01:19:25,807 --> 01:19:27,474
Enough! You heard Deetch.
I'm gonna kill her!
2131
01:19:27,475 --> 01:19:28,767
(screams) Oh, my God, no!
2132
01:19:28,768 --> 01:19:30,854
- (choking, gasping)
- Oh, my God.
2133
01:19:32,897 --> 01:19:35,065
- Ah, fuck.
- LISA: Taylor.
2134
01:19:35,066 --> 01:19:37,026
- How did you find me?
- I saw John flying
2135
01:19:37,027 --> 01:19:38,944
with his dick out,
pointing southeast,
2136
01:19:38,945 --> 01:19:41,530
so I just kept
running and squinting.
2137
01:19:41,531 --> 01:19:43,115
- I missed you, buddy.
- Lisa,
2138
01:19:43,116 --> 01:19:44,658
I love you, too, but, bitch,
we're about to get killed.
2139
01:19:44,659 --> 01:19:46,452
- We got to go.
- Okay. Come on, guys.
2140
01:19:46,453 --> 01:19:47,619
Come on, come on.
2141
01:19:47,620 --> 01:19:49,079
Deetch! I got it
for you, Deetch!
2142
01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:49,914
(laughs)
2143
01:19:49,915 --> 01:19:51,915
They're getting away!
2144
01:19:51,916 --> 01:19:54,001
BEN: Where is my dad?
2145
01:19:54,002 --> 01:19:56,795
(theme from The Office playing)
2146
01:19:56,796 --> 01:19:59,673
(Farley laughing)
2147
01:19:59,674 --> 01:20:00,633
Mart!
2148
01:20:00,634 --> 01:20:02,718
I can't stop them alone,
2149
01:20:02,719 --> 01:20:04,888
but I know someone who can.
2150
01:20:05,764 --> 01:20:07,349
JOHN: Mart, here!
2151
01:20:08,350 --> 01:20:09,434
(grunts)
2152
01:20:12,437 --> 01:20:14,022
(grunts)
2153
01:20:18,568 --> 01:20:19,818
Martin?
2154
01:20:19,819 --> 01:20:21,320
What are you doing?
2155
01:20:21,321 --> 01:20:24,366
Something I should've
done a long time ago.
2156
01:20:24,866 --> 01:20:27,035
Dude, it's happening.
2157
01:20:38,338 --> 01:20:41,173
("Lean Back" by Terror Squad
feat. Fat Joe & Remy playing)
2158
01:20:41,174 --> 01:20:43,676
BOTH: Lawrence! (howling)
2159
01:20:43,677 --> 01:20:45,761
(bad Italian accent):
I am Lawrence,
2160
01:20:45,762 --> 01:20:47,513
and I'm gonna beat
ya until your guts
2161
01:20:47,514 --> 01:20:48,890
fall out of your bussy.
2162
01:20:49,724 --> 01:20:51,433
Martin, what did you just say?
2163
01:20:51,434 --> 01:20:54,853
♪ Lean back, lean
back, lean back... ♪
2164
01:20:54,854 --> 01:20:56,271
- Hey!
- (screams)
2165
01:20:56,272 --> 01:20:57,856
♪ I said my... don't dance ♪
2166
01:20:57,857 --> 01:20:59,733
♪ We just pull up
our pants and... ♪
2167
01:20:59,734 --> 01:21:01,360
Who are you?
2168
01:21:01,361 --> 01:21:05,197
I'm the guy who's gonna be
putting your ass in a body bag.
2169
01:21:05,198 --> 01:21:07,574
- (grunting)
- Hey.
2170
01:21:07,575 --> 01:21:09,202
Oh!
2171
01:21:10,078 --> 01:21:12,496
♪ We from the Bronx, New
York, things happen... ♪
2172
01:21:12,497 --> 01:21:14,415
Whoa. Hey.
2173
01:21:14,416 --> 01:21:16,083
(whimpers)
2174
01:21:16,084 --> 01:21:18,670
(yells, grunts)
2175
01:21:20,088 --> 01:21:23,257
You can't stop us!
2176
01:21:23,258 --> 01:21:24,967
Oh, yeah? Tell you
what, tell you what,
2177
01:21:24,968 --> 01:21:26,802
this guy is so fucked...
2178
01:21:26,803 --> 01:21:28,721
BOTH: How fucked is he?
2179
01:21:28,722 --> 01:21:30,222
Let's just say his dentist
2180
01:21:30,223 --> 01:21:32,474
is gonna be getting
the new beach house.
2181
01:21:32,475 --> 01:21:35,103
♪ ♪
2182
01:21:37,689 --> 01:21:39,064
(gasps)
2183
01:21:39,065 --> 01:21:40,399
(screaming)
2184
01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:41,442
No!
2185
01:21:41,443 --> 01:21:42,568
♪ Lean back ♪
2186
01:21:42,569 --> 01:21:45,404
♪ Lean back, lean back... ♪
2187
01:21:45,405 --> 01:21:47,364
BOTH: Oh! Slam!
2188
01:21:47,365 --> 01:21:50,868
♪ Lean back, lean
back, lean back... ♪
2189
01:21:50,869 --> 01:21:52,619
- Deetch has the treasure!
- Get him!
2190
01:21:52,620 --> 01:21:54,706
(panting)
2191
01:21:57,334 --> 01:21:59,501
- (crowd murmuring)
- TAYLOR: Mm-hmm.
2192
01:21:59,502 --> 01:22:00,919
Oh.
2193
01:22:00,920 --> 01:22:03,088
Hey, good. You're... all here.
2194
01:22:03,089 --> 01:22:05,258
Um... let's bounce.
2195
01:22:06,634 --> 01:22:08,344
All right, what is this?
2196
01:22:08,345 --> 01:22:10,220
Tricia? Help.
2197
01:22:10,221 --> 01:22:12,182
(mocking): "Tricia, help."
2198
01:22:13,016 --> 01:22:14,933
- (grunts fiercely)
- Oh, my God. -Whoa.
2199
01:22:14,934 --> 01:22:16,435
(exhales sharply)
2200
01:22:16,436 --> 01:22:17,770
Et tu, Tricia?
2201
01:22:17,771 --> 01:22:20,022
You've hurt these people
long enough, Deetch, okay?
2202
01:22:20,023 --> 01:22:21,607
Tonight was insane.
2203
01:22:21,608 --> 01:22:23,442
People were running around
with spears in their hands.
2204
01:22:23,443 --> 01:22:26,111
Wow, that's awesome,
huh? No, it's not.
2205
01:22:26,112 --> 01:22:28,614
JOHN: It's done, Deetch.
They don't need you.
2206
01:22:28,615 --> 01:22:29,990
Just give up the treasure.
2207
01:22:29,991 --> 01:22:31,617
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Let me just, um...
2208
01:22:31,618 --> 01:22:33,285
I think I'll get my...
2209
01:22:33,286 --> 01:22:36,246
Fuck you!
2210
01:22:36,247 --> 01:22:39,500
I've been living in a
hut for the past 12 years
2211
01:22:39,501 --> 01:22:43,754
doing drugs with a bunch
of losers and burnouts!
2212
01:22:43,755 --> 01:22:46,131
No, I deserve a Jet Ski!
2213
01:22:46,132 --> 01:22:48,050
- Oh, my God.
- DEETCH: I want to go to Berlin
2214
01:22:48,051 --> 01:22:50,803
and eat steak at a nightclub.
2215
01:22:50,804 --> 01:22:53,639
I am never letting go of this.
2216
01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:55,974
I am never letting go!
2217
01:22:55,975 --> 01:22:57,686
You sure about that, Deetch?
2218
01:22:59,062 --> 01:23:00,938
(loud, shrill honk)
2219
01:23:00,939 --> 01:23:02,189
(people gasping, murmuring)
2220
01:23:02,190 --> 01:23:03,440
What the fuck is that?
2221
01:23:03,441 --> 01:23:04,192
Sorry.
2222
01:23:04,193 --> 01:23:05,234
(loud, shrill honk)
2223
01:23:05,235 --> 01:23:06,694
(people groaning, murmuring)
2224
01:23:06,695 --> 01:23:07,986
What are you doing?
2225
01:23:07,987 --> 01:23:09,822
(wings fluttering)
2226
01:23:09,823 --> 01:23:12,158
♪ ♪
2227
01:23:17,997 --> 01:23:19,541
(loud, shrill honk)
2228
01:23:21,042 --> 01:23:25,295
Now, loyal hawk,
drop it in my hands!
2229
01:23:25,296 --> 01:23:27,172
- Oh, no, no, no, no. Come on.
- (upset murmuring)
2230
01:23:27,173 --> 01:23:28,799
- CROWD: No!
- (loud, shrill honking)
2231
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:31,051
No, no, come back! No, no!
2232
01:23:31,052 --> 01:23:33,053
- No, no, no, no!
- No, no!
2233
01:23:33,054 --> 01:23:34,179
(groaning)
2234
01:23:34,180 --> 01:23:35,347
(Deetch sobbing loudly)
2235
01:23:35,348 --> 01:23:36,932
JOHN: Just let him go.
2236
01:23:36,933 --> 01:23:39,268
He's gonna be chasing
that hawk forever.
2237
01:23:39,269 --> 01:23:41,687
MARTIN: It's like something
out of Greek mythology.
2238
01:23:41,688 --> 01:23:42,896
JOHN: Yeah, it is.
2239
01:23:42,897 --> 01:23:44,523
I'm so sorry, I thought it would
2240
01:23:44,524 --> 01:23:46,233
bring it to us for some reason.
2241
01:23:46,234 --> 01:23:48,235
- I... (groans)
- It's okay.
2242
01:23:48,236 --> 01:23:50,530
- BEN: That hurts.
- JOHN: It's okay.
2243
01:23:51,781 --> 01:23:54,117
♪ ♪
2244
01:23:54,909 --> 01:23:56,952
NARRATOR: So, in the end,
2245
01:23:56,953 --> 01:23:59,413
the boys didn't
get the treasure.
2246
01:23:59,414 --> 01:24:04,209
But they did end up with the
most valuable treasure of all:
2247
01:24:04,210 --> 01:24:06,045
friendship.
2248
01:24:06,046 --> 01:24:09,048
You see, life isn't about money.
2249
01:24:09,049 --> 01:24:12,926
At the end of the day,
life is all about...
2250
01:24:12,927 --> 01:24:14,511
- Oh, my God, the hawk is back!
- Oh!
2251
01:24:14,512 --> 01:24:17,056
♪ ♪
2252
01:24:17,057 --> 01:24:19,726
NARRATOR: Oh, shit!
The hawk came back!
2253
01:24:20,810 --> 01:24:23,270
It's giving 'em the treasure!
2254
01:24:23,271 --> 01:24:28,067
Oh! Oh, my God, they got it!
2255
01:24:28,068 --> 01:24:29,401
(narrator laughing)
2256
01:24:29,402 --> 01:24:30,903
(all cheering, laughing)
2257
01:24:30,904 --> 01:24:32,071
I love you guys!
2258
01:24:32,072 --> 01:24:33,447
- Love you, too!
- I love you, too!
2259
01:24:33,448 --> 01:24:36,325
BEN: He was fucking
with us. I love it.
2260
01:24:36,326 --> 01:24:40,330
He's a cheeky little
bitch, and he knows it.
2261
01:24:42,832 --> 01:24:45,626
NARRATOR: The treasure of
Foggy Mountain was theirs,
2262
01:24:45,627 --> 01:24:48,837
and they celebrated
until the sun came up
2263
01:24:48,838 --> 01:24:51,131
with the people they loved.
2264
01:24:51,132 --> 01:24:53,175
("Thanks to You" by
Dan Greer playing)
2265
01:24:53,176 --> 01:24:54,760
Oh, God, Ben.
2266
01:24:54,761 --> 01:24:56,470
I'm so glad you're safe.
2267
01:24:56,471 --> 01:24:57,805
I looked everywhere for you.
2268
01:24:57,806 --> 01:24:58,806
Shut up, bitch.
2269
01:24:58,807 --> 01:25:00,265
- What?
- I love you,
2270
01:25:00,266 --> 01:25:01,558
but I want you to be
2271
01:25:01,559 --> 01:25:03,477
a significantly smaller
part of my life.
2272
01:25:03,478 --> 01:25:05,688
As for me, I'll be
doing my own thing.
2273
01:25:05,689 --> 01:25:08,107
- No, don't say it.
- The Hair Salon for Boys.
2274
01:25:08,108 --> 01:25:09,358
So bad.
2275
01:25:09,359 --> 01:25:10,776
- All right.
- (grunts)
2276
01:25:10,777 --> 01:25:12,069
Take care, Pop.
2277
01:25:12,070 --> 01:25:13,654
♪ And taught me to care ♪
2278
01:25:13,655 --> 01:25:14,988
♪ Thanks to you... ♪
2279
01:25:14,989 --> 01:25:16,699
That's my boy.
2280
01:25:16,700 --> 01:25:20,160
Martin, that was the hottest
fucking thing I've ever seen.
2281
01:25:20,161 --> 01:25:21,495
But Lawrence is
everything you hate.
2282
01:25:21,496 --> 01:25:24,456
He's crude. He's
violent. He's Italian.
2283
01:25:24,457 --> 01:25:26,458
Martin, we shouldn't hide
who we are for each other.
2284
01:25:26,459 --> 01:25:28,085
We should just be honest.
2285
01:25:28,086 --> 01:25:29,712
I'm not perfect.
2286
01:25:29,713 --> 01:25:31,005
You know, I swear.
2287
01:25:31,006 --> 01:25:33,340
- I watch animated porn.
- Oh.
2288
01:25:33,341 --> 01:25:36,135
It's porn of popular animated characters.
-Right.
2289
01:25:36,136 --> 01:25:38,137
Like Mr. Incredible
fucking Mrs. Incredible.
2290
01:25:38,138 --> 01:25:40,472
Uh-huh.
-Mr. Incredible fucking Frozone.
2291
01:25:40,473 --> 01:25:42,933
Right.
-Snoopy getting dicked down by the man from Up.
2292
01:25:42,934 --> 01:25:45,144
Amy, I get it. We got to
be honest with each other.
2293
01:25:45,145 --> 01:25:46,687
- (laughing): Come here.
- Oh, my God.
2294
01:25:46,688 --> 01:25:48,105
I can't believe it.
2295
01:25:48,106 --> 01:25:49,606
- You're a millionaire now.
- This is crazy.
2296
01:25:49,607 --> 01:25:51,442
And you, like, led a
revolution. It was amazing.
2297
01:25:51,443 --> 01:25:53,402
I feel like I'm, like, a
different person or something.
2298
01:25:53,403 --> 01:25:54,987
- I don't know what came over me.
- Oh.
2299
01:25:54,988 --> 01:25:56,488
- Lisa, I am so...
- I am so...
2300
01:25:56,489 --> 01:25:58,157
- Sorry.
- Go ahead.
2301
01:25:58,158 --> 01:25:59,450
- You go first.
- Sorry, I talked over you.
2302
01:25:59,451 --> 01:26:00,868
- I feel...
- I really like...
2303
01:26:00,869 --> 01:26:02,494
- I really like...
- I want to have sex with you.
2304
01:26:02,495 --> 01:26:04,329
- What?
- What were you gonna say?
2305
01:26:04,330 --> 01:26:05,539
What did you say?
2306
01:26:05,540 --> 01:26:06,999
I, um, wish we could go back
2307
01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:08,000
to that tent and
start over again.
2308
01:26:08,001 --> 01:26:09,501
Yeah.
2309
01:26:09,502 --> 01:26:11,837
♪ Yes, I can, now, I
can face the world... ♪
2310
01:26:11,838 --> 01:26:13,672
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
2311
01:26:13,673 --> 01:26:15,174
- Yeah.
- Let's go to the tent.
2312
01:26:15,175 --> 01:26:16,592
(both chuckling)
2313
01:26:16,593 --> 01:26:19,345
♪ Thanks to you,
girl, I can make it ♪
2314
01:26:19,346 --> 01:26:20,596
♪ Oh, yeah... ♪
2315
01:26:20,597 --> 01:26:23,349
Are those two gonna
fuck in my tent?
2316
01:26:23,350 --> 01:26:26,018
Why does everyone
fuck in that tent?
2317
01:26:26,019 --> 01:26:28,062
("Alright" by
Supergrass playing)
2318
01:26:28,063 --> 01:26:31,690
♪ We are young, we run green ♪
2319
01:26:31,691 --> 01:26:33,025
♪ Keep our teeth ♪
2320
01:26:33,026 --> 01:26:34,526
- ♪ Nice and clean ♪
- (whooping)
2321
01:26:34,527 --> 01:26:36,695
{\an8}- ♪ See our friends ♪
- Welcome to London!
2322
01:26:36,696 --> 01:26:40,908
{\an8}♪ See the sights,
feel all right ♪
2323
01:26:40,909 --> 01:26:44,203
{\an8}♪ We wake up, we go out ♪
2324
01:26:44,204 --> 01:26:45,913
{\an8}♪ Smoke a fag ♪
2325
01:26:45,914 --> 01:26:47,664
{\an8}♪ Put it out ♪
2326
01:26:47,665 --> 01:26:51,001
{\an8}♪ See our friends,
see the sights ♪
2327
01:26:51,002 --> 01:26:54,297
{\an8}♪ Feel all right. ♪
2328
01:27:19,656 --> 01:27:21,073
{\an8}(song ends)
2329
01:27:21,074 --> 01:27:22,866
♪ ♪
2330
01:27:22,867 --> 01:27:26,412
JOHN (auto-tuned): ♪
She's always on my mind ♪
2331
01:27:26,413 --> 01:27:29,289
♪ I'm running out
of time, girl ♪
2332
01:27:29,290 --> 01:27:31,458
♪ She's running
round the verld ♪
2333
01:27:31,459 --> 01:27:32,793
♪ She's running ♪
2334
01:27:32,794 --> 01:27:36,088
♪ She's running
round the verld ♪
2335
01:27:36,089 --> 01:27:39,216
♪ You don't love me no more ♪
2336
01:27:39,217 --> 01:27:41,510
♪ You don't want me no more ♪
2337
01:27:41,511 --> 01:27:44,930
♪ Oh, sweetie ♪
2338
01:27:44,931 --> 01:27:48,350
♪ Little sweetie ♪
2339
01:27:48,351 --> 01:27:51,270
♪ She's always on my mind ♪
2340
01:27:51,271 --> 01:27:54,356
♪ I'm running out
of time, girl ♪
2341
01:27:54,357 --> 01:27:57,276
♪ She's running
round the verld ♪
2342
01:27:57,277 --> 01:28:00,572
♪ She's running
round the verld. ♪
2343
01:28:05,368 --> 01:28:07,786
LISA: ♪ Boy, you
got me going crazy ♪
2344
01:28:07,787 --> 01:28:10,080
♪ You're making me feel loco ♪
2345
01:28:10,081 --> 01:28:12,291
♪ Sexual seduction ♪
2346
01:28:12,292 --> 01:28:14,918
♪ That's what I like ♪
2347
01:28:14,919 --> 01:28:19,298
♪ You know what, you can't
guess where my underwear is ♪
2348
01:28:19,299 --> 01:28:22,551
♪ I've hid 'em in this room ♪
2349
01:28:22,552 --> 01:28:24,386
♪ You better find them ♪
2350
01:28:24,387 --> 01:28:26,722
♪ Here's a broom. ♪
2351
01:28:26,723 --> 01:28:28,850
♪ ♪
2352
01:28:36,149 --> 01:28:38,067
(song ends)
2353
01:28:38,068 --> 01:28:40,362
♪ ♪
2354
01:29:10,141 --> 01:29:12,394
♪ ♪
2355
01:29:42,173 --> 01:29:44,426
♪ ♪
2356
01:30:14,205 --> 01:30:16,458
♪ ♪
2357
01:30:46,237 --> 01:30:48,490
♪ ♪
2358
01:31:18,269 --> 01:31:20,522
♪ ♪
2359
01:31:50,301 --> 01:31:52,554
♪ ♪
2360
01:31:59,978 --> 01:32:02,063
(music ends)
173411
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