All language subtitles for Love.Island.Games.S01E17.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH[eztv.re]_track3_eng

NARRATOR: This week
on "Love Island Games" was--

[Callum, Jack laughing]

NARRATOR: Oh,
how can I put this?

Hey, mate,
what's going on? Crazy.

NARRATOR: Come on, Iain,
it's top of the show.

- Hold me back, hold me back!
- [Eyal screaming]

- [Toby screaming]
- NARRATOR: Oh, I know.

Wall to wall

to wall epic epicness.

Hey, that was
pretty fucking impressive.

NARRATOR: But tonight,

it's time to unleash

the insanity
of Unseen Bits.

Fucking hell!
What was that?

Oh, what the fuck?

I hope
that they have alien orgies.

NARRATOR: Only
with Unseen Bits

can you really know
what's happening on the inside.

- I was like, "Yo, yo, yo, yo."
- NARRATOR: Inside the Villa.

Inside the Islanders.

I've been sweating
and shitting all day.

- It's been great.
- What the fuck is going on?

NARRATOR: And inside
every coconut-scented cage fight

in our
tropical colosseum.

- I am greatness!
- IAN, CELY: Yes!

- I love it.
- [laughing] Yeah!

NARRATOR: This is
"Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.

Epic.

- Bosh!
- Bosh!

[theme song playing]

["Peer Gynt Suite No. 1"
by Lorne Balfe]

NARRATOR: Fiji,
jewel of the Pacific.

A volcanic island
erupting with beauty.

The cradle

of civilization

where our ancestors
walked upright

for the very first time...

heralding a new era
of intelligent life,

Homo sapiens
made meaning from symbols.

Shapes become sounds.

Thus,
language was born,

and the universe
bore witness to humankind's

very first words.

***

That's
fucking sick, bro.

NARRATOR: Oh, no,
we're not witnessing
the birth of humanity.

It's "Love Island Games"
Unseen Bits.

CALLUM: Fucking bosh.

***

CELY: [indistinct]

NARRATOR: To prepare for their
imminent boost in fame,

the Islanders hosted
a make-believe red carpet event.

Much like the ones they'll
attend on the outside world.

It was unseen.

* Yo, check-a me out *

Okay, guys, and guys, this
is Cely and Eyal, thank you.

[camera shutters
clicking rapidly]

[in high voice]
Eyal, we love you.

Eyal,
please, over here.

CELY: Eyal,
can I get one alone?

- EYAL: Yeah, of course.
- One alone is crazy.

That is experience.
That-- that is experience.

Fantastic, fantastic.

NARRATOR: As a narrator,
when I attend red carpet events,

people ask me
to get off the red carpet.

***

[upbeat
instrumental playing]

A recent rainy day proved
the Islanders are just like

a record-breaking
submarine.

When drenched in water,
they descend into depths

lower than anyone
thought imaginable.

What the fuck?
It's crazy.

- That foot grip.
- Girl, be gripping.

What do they call
a hand job with your feet?

- A foot job.
- Is that it?

- Oh, it's just a foot job?
- Yeah, it's a foot job still.

[smooth
instrumental playing]

I don't know that--
if I--

JESSICA: Oh, yeah,
this is--

Is that crunches?

No, I-- I'm practicing
giving a foot job.

Oh, I thought
you were doing crunches.

[both laughing]

A foot job's
like this.

- Oh, like this.
- Yeah.

- Why was I going like this?
- I don't know.

Have you ever--
Have you ever given one?

No, never.
I hate feet.

Why was I going like this?
It's like this?

- Cely, what in the fuck?
- I'm practicing my foot job.

That's a proper
foot job right there.

NARRATOR: I'm sorry,

I thought a proper foot job
was what you got

when you graduate
as a podiatrist.

***

In this unseen bit,
master pickup artist Callum

demonstrates
the moves that show everyone

that you
are full of confidence,

and your jockstrap
is full of fire ants.

[indistinct]

[girls giggling]

- Hey.
- Hey, babe, how are you?

I'm good.
I'm loving the sass.

You're looking
very fucking juicy today.

- Thanks.
- Um, just a couple
of facts about me.

Um, I've got a UK
driver's license.

Um, I've actually got
an Australian driver's license.

- Nice.
- I'm six foot two.

My shoulder-to-waist ratio
is astronomical.

Now, with the facts
out of the way,

let's buy me a drink,
yeah?

- [all laughing]
- Bosh.

CALLUM: All right,
role reversal, role reversal.

Role reversal is crazy.
This is gonna be crazy.

This is just--
I'm juiced up, right?

I've fucking got big watches on
and stuff with the boys.

[all laughing]

[in low pitch] Yeah. Yeah.
Lemon squeezer.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- [Megan clears throat]

- [Megan clears throat]
- CALLUM: Somebody's got COVID.

[all laughing]

No, I don't know.
[laughing]

- Getting shy a bit?
- No, I don't know what I'll do.

I'd just be like,
hey, how are you?

Yeah. Good.
What's happening? You like me?

[all laughing]

I've got no game.
I don't know what I'd say.

I-- I'd just
stand here,

and pretend
I was ordering my own drink,

and then,
be a bit like...

- A bit like this.
- CALLUM: [indistinct]

You gotta work your magic,
you know what I mean?

No, I don't.
This is the magic.

- CALLUM: Oh, is it? Okay.
- [Megan laughing]

- Well, you're fucked then.
- Fuck you.

NARRATOR: Callum
is also a sex coach.

He offers
one-on-one intensives

that last anywhere between
15 to 30 seconds a session.

***

Peacock said
they want us to include

more scenes tailored to
the lucrative entomology market.

So, for those of you
studying insects,

this one's for you.

- She was a li--
- Fucking hell!

[screaming]
What was that, bro?

What was that, bro?
That was a bat.

Oh, fuck me.

Oh, my God,
why's there a bug on my bed?

Oh, no.

Yeah. Protein, protein.
That's a whole lot of protein.

- That's a big-ass protein.
- [Jack laughing]

[Imani blowing]

- Not with chilis and shit.
- No fucking way.

TOBY: Oh! Oh!

[screaming]
It's crawling.

- [insects buzzing]
- Right.

Oh, my God,
it's there, it's there.

[Liberty laughing]

Oh, shit.

- Jesus.
- What fucking is that, bro?

You just
hit that, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Fucking hell.

Don't, don't, don't, don't,
get it off, get it off, please.

- [laughs] I can't.
- Please.

- No, I can't.
- Where is it? Oh, my God.

[Liberty screaming]

- Girl. Damn, girl.
- Fuck, sorry.

I'm just seeing some shit
coming towards my face. [laughs]

NARRATOR: Callum's
a good-looking lad.

I bet plenty of people
would like to kiss him.

I also bet plenty of people
are about to change their minds.

Look at that cockroach.

Dead.

- Look at that.
- Fuck. No, bro. That's crazy.

- Look at it.
- JOHNNY: Is it alive?

EYAL: No, it's dead.
If I win this show--

JACK: What the fuck
are you doing?

If I win this show,
I'll give you two grand

if you eat this.

JACK: What if you ate it now,
and he didn't win the show,

you're just
shit out of luck?

- EYAL: Yeah, you just ate it.
- JACK: Don't got the minerals.

Don't say that to me,
'cause I'm just gonna--

You don't got the minerals
to eat that, to chomp that.

[overlapping shouting]

You don't have
the minerals.

- No!
- [both screaming]

EYAL: Spit it out,
spit it out, spit it out!

- No!
- Bro, he just ate
a big-ass beetle, y'all.

No, he just
ate that beetle.

No, bro.
[laughing]

- EYAL: Oh, my God, bro.
- JACK: That's so disgusting.

EYAL: That
is horrendous.

On international
television.

- CALLUM: Fucking madness.
- What did it taste like?

CALLUM: Beetle.

NARRATOR: And, Paul McCartney,
if you are watching,

which of course you are,
I'm sorry for your loss.

***

[scheming
instrumental playing]

Okay, I really don't know
whether doing accents

is politically
correct anymore,

but it's not me
who will get canceled,

it's the Islanders,
so let's have at it.

[Valley accent]
We're from LA, and so,
like, it's so fucking cool.

Hey, girls, are we going
to pilates tomorrow?

- Pilates.
- JACK: Should we get
avocado and toast tomorrow?

[girls laughing]

- Georgia.
- GEORGIA: Yeah.

You try
to be LA girl.

[with strange accent]
Oh, my God, hi, you scared me,

you should have let me know
it was you coming in.

[all laughing]

You sound
like Betty Boop or something.

You sound
like a Southern girl.

It's the one line
I learned at drama school
in the American accent.

That was like hillbilly.

Give us an English accent.

[with British accent]
What do you mean?

Do you think that maybe,
if I came over there

for a chat that you would
want to talk to me?

- That was good.
- That was actually so good.

- Was it all right?
- Yeah, that was so, so good.

- Thank you, guys.
- I can't say "guys." [laughs]

I'm like,
"Thank you, guys."

- You all right?
- You all right?

Maybe
I can get some tea.

NARRATOR: Tea?
That reminds me,

it's time
for the next

U-N-S-E-E-N-B-I... Tea.

[Toby laughs]

***

NARRATOR: Now, this show
isn't just hunky beefcakes
talking nonsense outside.

They also talk
nonsense inside.

Would you
rather [bleep]...

[Ray laughing]

...or [bleep]?

[laughing]

I'm not saying
that sentence on camera ever.

Have it
taken out of context.

NARRATOR: So what the bleep
did he say?

What's so shocking
is that not even Johnny

would let his mouth
near the words?

Damn.

NARRATOR: Find out
after this.

[tinkling]

[theme music playing]

[upbeat instrumental
playing]

NARRATOR: Oh, hello.

[in high pitch] Hello,
what's your name?

NARRATOR: I'm Iain.

Are you ready
to twerk your way

into more Unseen Bits?

Pa, pa, pa,
pa, pa, pa.

NARRATOR: Great,
because this week,
our Islanders were moving.

JACK, CALLUM: Pew, pew,
pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

NARRATOR: Grooving.

Where the hips are,

the man follows,
see that.

NARRATOR: And
downright boogieing.

Pecks were popping.

No one's stopping.

***

And beats
were dropping.

They kept dancing
even when they were sopping.

- Come on, good shit, bitch.
- Bitch.

NARRATOR: So, let's two-step
our way into more Unseen Bits.

Before the break, Eyal
asked a truly shocking question,

I think...

would you rather
[bleep]...

[Ray laughing]

...or [bleep]?

[laughing]

I'm not saying
that sentence on camera ever.

Have it
taken out of context.

NARRATOR: But what the bleep
did he say?

Would you rather...

[laughing]

...have your dick
on your nose...

[Ray laughing]

...or no dick?

[goofy instrumental playing]

You're walking
around to the shop,

and like,
you got a dick on your nose.

[Ray laughing]

Like, you see--
You see something crazy,

your nose
is gonna rise.

- [Ray laughing]
- I'll have a dick on my nose,

for sure, yeah,
fuck, yeah.

I'm not saying
that sentence on camera ever.

Have it
taken out of context.

I'd make it work.
I'd make it work.

It's gonna be like,
"Unseen Bits."

And then,
it's gonna have me saying that.

NARRATOR: Unseen Bits,
never heard of it.

Johnny, cover your ears.
On to more Unseen Bits.

***

Just like when I lived
in a shared house full of nuns,

Toby found it hard to get used
to other people's habits.

By the way, in fact,
I need to speak to you.

Something
terrible, crazy,

like,
potentially cancelable.

- JUSTINE: What?
- Crazy, Justine, man.

That's mad.
Just like, why, how?

- How could you ever do that?
- What?

Grapes
and ketchup, crazy.

- Wait, who the fuck did that?
- Crazy.

Hey, someone down there
done grapes and ketchup
on the same plate.

Are you serious?

Cheese toasty,
grapes and ketchup.

What, you dip the grapes
in the ketchup?

[laughs]

TOBY: Crazy.

And I want everyone to know,
camera, let them know

that Justine
put grapes with ketchup.

Crazy.
Cancel her.

NARRATOR: Toby,
if you don't like it,
you can always leave.

Nah, don't bother.

You get dumped
pretty soon anyway.

***

[Asian-themed
instrumental playing]

Affirmations
are new age nonsense,

a quick fix used by dreamers
too lazy to take responsibility

for the dumpster fire life
they created.

And I swear by them.

[in unison] I will enter
these challenges fearless,

because I'm stronger
than I think.

That was a good one.

I will not overthink

and just be myself.

[in unison] I will not overthink
and just be myself.

I am worthy of finding
a genuine connection.

[in unison] I am worthy
of finding a genuine connection.

- I am enough.
- [in unison] I am enough.

- [Cely chuckles]
- I love this.

Yeah! [laughing]

This is nice, mate.

NARRATOR: Out
with the seen bits...

[inhales]

...in
with the unseen bits.

[exhales]

Out with the seen bits,

and in
with the unseen bits.

My heart is open,
I'm ready to receive

the next unseen bit.

***

Now the round
of Would You Rather
chosen by our lawyers.

When I demanded
a different scene, they said,

"Would you rather
keep your job or..."

I said, "Don't bother
finishing that sentence.
I'll just play the bit."

Would you rather--
Would you rather not be able to

bend your knees
or bend your elbows?

Bend my elbows.

I need
to be able to walk.

JOHNNY: So, you'll be like this,
everywhere you go.

Yeah,
but how are you gonna walk?

You can walk like this.

TOBY: So, you can walk
how you walk anyway, bro.

- JOHNNY: You'd be like this.
- TOBY: How you walk anyway.

Or you can walk everywhere,
but you'd be like this...

[Ray laughing]

You wouldn't be able to
touch your face ever.

So, yeah, I think I'd rather
walk with straight legs
and be able to bend my arms.

Because you gotta be
able to bend your arms, bro.

Imagine not being able
to bend your arms.

- Yeah, so...
- 'Cause you'd be able to like,

straight leg bound
when you are running.

You know what I mean?
Like...

Yo, imagine
a straight leg race.

Let's try this.

[overlapping conversation]

I'm fucking ready.
Give me straight.

Straight leg race.

Oh, you
straight leg bound?

- [boys laughing]
- What the fuck is going on?

But arms would be fucked,
'cause you couldn't
brush your teeth.

- TOBY: You couldn't drink.
- Yeah.

You'll be doing
everything with your feet.

NARRATOR: Well, I never thought
I'd say this, but I think Callum

said it best when he said,
"What the [bleep] is going on?"

***

***

This Unseen Bit proves
boasting about your fitness

is like reverse parking
a trailer in front
of your father-in-law.

You must be able
to back it up.

Please welcome to the stage

Miss Steel!

Representing Great Britain

in the UK Natural
Bodybuilding Championships.

Right now,
we are gonna see her

flex her biceps.

Flex your bicep.

Now, we're gonna see
her tense her abs.

Tense her abs.

- GEORGIA: I do have
little ones.
- You do.

Yeah,
you've got nice abs.

Considering I've not done
any pilates for four weeks.

- You're toned, man.
- I've not done any pilates
for four weeks.

- Pilates is fucking hard.
- I do, strong-- No, I'm good.

I can hold plank
for three minutes.

- No, you can't.
- Wow.

- No, you can't.
- GEORGIA: I can.

Well, then,
go for it, go on.

I'm not doing it
right here.

Why not here?
It's padded here, we'll count.

GEORGIA: I can do it
for three minutes.

One Mississippi.
Two Mississippi.

All right.
One. Two.

Three. Four.

Long day, [indistinct],
bro.

You just [indistinct]--

Eight, nine.

[echoing] 10, 11, 12.

58, 59, 60.

One. Two. Three.

Four. Five.

53, 54, 55, 56,

57, 58, 59, 60.

Final minute.

One. Two. Three.
Four. Five.

51, 52, 53, 55, 56,

57, 58, 59, 60!

That was pretty
fucking impressive.

Yeah, that was good.

Yeah.
Gun show, baby.

What way's the beach?
What way is the beach?

- That way? Or is it that way?
- You're fucking jacked.

NARRATOR: You know what
takes me three minutes?

Actually, on second thought,
forget I said anything.

Let's just crack on.

***

This week, on the main show,
you saw a Tug of War

that sent Toby
and Georgia packing.

But in earlier,
less dumpy times,

Toby faced off
in another way,

and it was
a much fairer fight.

[dramatic, scheming
instrumental playing]

[boys laughing]

We were like spies.
No one sensed it.

We saw that bottle there,
we went straight over to him,

and then soon
as I did that big pour,

bosh, we're on the floor.
Gone, and we're gone, it's gone.

- It's gone.
- It's gone.

- The military style.
- The military.

He didn't have a clue.
He still doesn't know
who it was.

He's still in the bedroom
thinking, "Fuck, is there
a leak in the roof?"

He's like,
"What's going on? Crazy, crazy"

This type of prank
is only down to two people.

Callum or Jack.
Now, they started a war.

A war has begun
in the Villa.

[suspenseful
instrumental playing]

This guy, he thinks--

This is Love Island,
this ain't Snooze Island, bro.

This is--
Come on. Come on.

[Toby laughing]

You fucking dead end.

You fucking [indistinct].

[Toby laughing]

It looks
like I pissed myself.

You got to fight fire
with fire,

but in this case,
water with water.

So, I've got him back
in the best way possible.

And I've even
got Johnny to film it.

So, I'll always
have that in my arsenal.

Fantastic.

NARRATOR: Such a shame

a prank war
isn't part of the real games.

For Toby,
not for anyone else.

They love still being
on the show as much as I love
this quick ad break.

[tinkling]

***

NARRATOR: Welcome back to
"Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.

This unseen bit comes
with a public safety warning.

Do not, I repeat, do not
let Callum teach you anything.

Do you know
what's fucking absolutely crazy?

When you
look up to that moon,

that moon
is a fucking star.

- It's that big, that far away.
- JACK: The moon's
not a fucking star.

- CALLUM: Isn't it?
- JACK: Fuck no.
What are you talking about?

I thought
the sun was the moon.

I thought the sun
was the moon at nighttime.

JOHNNY: You thought the moon
was the sun at nighttime?

Yeah, well,
there's two different ones?

JACK: The reason why you see
the moon is because the sunlight

hits the moon's surface,
and then we can see it.

But there's
no sun now, bro.

JACK: No, no,
but the sun still hits it.

If we put that moon on Earth,
like, how big is it?

Size of like, a state.

Like, medium-well.

- JACK: No.
- Like Los Angeles.

JACK: Bigger than that.

No, as big as, like,
Africa as a continent.

I mean, the moon
is pretty fucking big.

CALLUM: How did they get there
in the '60s, bro,

and they haven't got back since?
That's bollocks.

JACK: You'd go back
every weekend, wouldn't you?

Yeah, if you knew
you could get there,

and it was fine,
like, you just--

We'll find out
sooner rather later,

because if they did,
stuff would still be there.

- They left stuff behind.
- The flag.

JACK: Mm, maybe.
There's no wind, bro.

So, how the fuck
was that flickering?

Why is there no wind?

JOHNNY: Because
there's no atmosphere.

There's
no wind in space?

- There's no wind in space, bro.
- You'd think that it'd be wind,

'cause it's like,
high up, innit?

NARRATOR: And the Emmy for Best
Educational Television Special

goes to Callum
on The Moon Is the Sun

on Unseen Bits.

***

Now, an unseen chat
about the Islanders first times.

I remember
my first time.

Eighteen
wonderful seconds

behind
the Aberdeen cat shelter.

Oh, my producer
is telling me that this chat

is about their first times
on Love Island. Carry on.

LIBERTY: You did the rooftop,
and I [indistinct].

- What one was you?
- JOHNNY: I was at Fiji.

I think it was
nowhere near as big as this.

So, like, you couldn't really
go for a quiet chat.

No, everyone could hear
everyone's chats, yeah.

If you tried to say,
"Ah, yeah, I don't like Jack."

It'd be like,
"Yo, yo, yo!

Yo, yo, yo!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- I can hear you!"
- [all laughing]

Did y'all
keep your water bottles?

I actually
still have my water bottle.

I do too, I do too.
I kept our things.

Do you remember
the Cely and Johnny
from our last date?

- And then with the dancer on
it from Caesars Palace?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

I have that still,
I have a memory box
that I keep like everything in.

- GIRLS: Aw.
- I remember getting dumped,

as soon as I got dumped, I took
the stone from the fire pit.

- [all laughing]
- I was like, "I'm done?

All right, see ya later,"
and I just put it in my pocket.

And I left.

NARRATOR: Alpha,
Bravo, Coconut.

UK stone thief
has revealed himself.

Perp is tanned
and shirtless.

Repeat,
tanned and shirtless.

Go, go, go!

***

["Don't Call Me Crazy"
by Nineoneone]

NARRATOR: To return
to play games on a spinoff show,

be an unforgettable Islander.

To return to host games
on a spin-off show,

be an unforgettable
Maura Higgins.

The best way
to understand the Higgins effect

is just to look
at Callum's face.

You did see Maura hosting,
Knowing Me, Knowing You
in the main show.

But there were
some rounds

you didn't see.

How is everyone?

I've been sweating
and shitting all day.

It's been great.

[music stops]

Which Islander
does your partner think
is the most annoying?

Oh, fuck.

Toby,
we're starting with you.

One guy in the Villa,
Callum.

[laughs]

- Callum.
- MAURA: Callum.

Fuck it.
Here we go.

- Callum.
- Callum.

- Poor Callum.
- [all laughing]

- My boy Callum.
- Callum.

- Callum.
- Callum.

I had to give it
to my boy Callum.

Does everyone
actually have Callum?

To be fair, that is--
That is expected.

I did actually,
pick myself at the start,

but then, I was like,
"Nah."

He knows it.
He knows it.

- MAURA: Yeah. He knows it.
- IMANI: He's an idiot.

MAURA: Boys and Megan,
this question is for you.

Which Islander
would your partner say
is the weakest?

I said Jess,
'cause she's small.

I said Cely.

Okay, Jack?

I put Jess.

Justine, do you agree?

No, I put...

- [laughs]
- She put Callum.

- Why?
- Girl code and all that, Jack.

Weakest Islander?
I'm not really sure where
they're coming with that angle.

I feel like
I'm a fucking boss
in this villa.

- Justine, you and I gonna have
a word after this.
- Eyal?

I haven't been in here
long enough, but I put Jess

because I've heard
that she's not very good
at challenges.

I've literally, like,
done good in the last two.

Jess, don't listen to him.
You're great.

The boys are not well.

- Johnny?
- I said, Jess.

- What the fuck, Johnny?
- Fuck.

What the fuck, Johnny? [laughs]

NARRATOR: If I didn't know
any better,

I'd think the producers
actually wanted

to stir up drama.

I know they don't,

I know they wouldn't want to,

but it does seem like that
at times.

[dramatic music plays]

It's bigger than the Super Bowl.

It's more important
than the Rugby World Cup.

It's the end of a season.

It's the last episode
of Unseen Bits,

which means it's also time
for the last

Beach Hut Battle.

- Beach Hut Battle, bitches.
- Beach Hut Battle, bitches.
Yes!

NARRATOR: It's the game
where we pit different countries
against each other

and have them compete
for absolutely nothing.

It's an honor
to represent Australia
in the Beach Hut Battle.

[chanting] USA! USA!

NARRATOR: Representing
team Australia

are the only Australians
we have.

Callum and Jess.

One's from Wales.

But you're not even Australian.

Yeah, but it's still an honor
because I love the country
to bits.

So big up the Aussies.
You know what I'm saying?

NARRATOR: Representing team USA,
we have Courtney and Imani.

- We are America. [giggles]
- Yeah. Shit.

NARRATOR: Teams will be asked
general knowledge questions

about the other team's
country of origin.

The team with the most
correct answers wins,

thus undoing
over 100 years of alliances

between the two great nations.

We know so much about America.

Lots and lots about America.
They got no fucking idea.

NARRATOR: Now,
because I'm feeling generous,

I'll start the scores
at zero-all.

Team Australia to go first.

The United States capital
is Washington, D.C.

What does D.C. stand for?

- What the fuck?
- The cap--

To be honest,
I thought the capital of America

- was fucking New York.
- I thought it was Hollywood.

I thought it was Hollywood.
Where that big sign is.

[laughs] How the fuck
are we supposed to--

Yo, can't we get a clue?
Like, that's so hard.

- That's so...
- That's not fair.

- Domestic culture. Culture.
- Yeah.

- Domestic culture.
- Domestic culture.
Because it's mixed culture.

- NARRATOR: Sorry,
that's incorrect.
- [buzzer buzzes]

D.C. stands
for the District of Columbia.

- Columbia?
- What the fuck?

What the fuck?
Are you taking the piss?

- What the fuck?
- Why is Columbia there?
It's a different country.

NARRATOR: Over to the Americans.

Wombats are native to Australia,

but what shape are their poops?

- Fuck.
- What kind of shit is this?

Oh, I think I saw them
when I was there.

- Yeah, but I didn't look
at their poop.
- [laughs]

- Would it be round?
- I feel like maybe.

- I say
we're going to lock in "round."
- Yeah.

- NARRATOR: Sorry girls,
that's wrong.
- [buzzer buzzes]

Wombat droppings
are cube-shaped.

- [gasps] What is it?
- Fuck. I knew it!

I fucking had a feeling
that it was gonna be wrong.

- It has square poop? No.
- No.

- What does his butt look like?
- Yeah.

NARRATOR: I don't have
information
on the wombat butthole.

I'll need to look into it.

The score is 0-0.

Back to the Aussies,
Jess and Callum.

In America, if someone says
something is cattywampus,

what do they mean?

- What the fuck
do these people--
- Cattywampus?

What's cattywampus? [laughs]

"Oh, that is cattywampus!"

Cattywampus means,
like, you're, like,

you talk behind people's back,
but you're a pussy.

Yeah, bro. That's a good one.

- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?

'Cause it's like,
you're being catty
and, like, a pussy.

- Yeah, cattywampus.
Like, you're a womp
- Womp.

- You're a puss. Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, so you talk
behind people's backs,

and you just are a pussy
about it,

you don't even say it
to their face.

- NARRATOR: Sorry,
that is not correct.
- [buzzer buzzes]

Cattywampus means
something is a little bit off,

crooked or askew.

[laughs]
But-- but what the fuck?

But, like, what, like,
that's a bit crooked?

Could you imagine me, like,
going, "That is cattywampus"?

What?
You would just say
it's fucking not straight.

NARRATOR: Back to the Americans.

In Australia, what is a joey?

- Oh.
- What is it?

It's a kangaroo.

- Is it?
- Yeah.

- Oh, okay.
- I got this.

We are going to lock in
"a kangaroo."

- Good shit, good shit.
- A baby kangaroo.

NARRATOR: Correct.

- Ah! Yay!
- Yeah, baby!

- Yes!
- That was good. Yay.

NARRATOR: Team USA
takes a lead at 1-0.

If you were going to perform
a "Star-Spangled Banner,"

what would you be doing?

What the fuck
is a star-spangled banner?

Maybe the star-spangled banner
is, like,

a banner that they get
when they're, like, you know,

they've done well in a movie
or something.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, that's so smart.

Yeah, they get their plaque
on the floor in Hollywood
as a star,

or they get
a star-spangled banner

which is just basically a banner
that goes across their chest

saying how well they did.

- NARRATOR: A creative guess
but no.
- [buzzer buzzes]

It would be singing
the US national anthem.

Oh, yeah, we're gonna know
what that is, aren't we?

- These are so hard.
- We're on Love Island,
you know what I mean?

- We're not in uni.
- [laughs]

- We're not in--
- Fuck no. It's not Uni Island.

NARRATOR: Back over to the USA.

What activity
do Australians have
a legal obligation to carry out?

- Alligator hunting?
- Yeah. [laughs]

Do they do that?

- I'm dead.
- Cleaning up.

Well, if they have
so many beaches,

what if they have to legally--

What if they--
Keep their beaches clean

or, like, a no littering policy?

Okay, we're gonna lock in
"cleaning the beaches."

NARRATOR: The answer is,
Australians have an obligation
to vote.

- Oh!
- Oh, duh! Everyone has to vote.

NARRATOR: The score
is still 1-0.

Australia need this point
to draw.

America need this point to win.

Final question for the Aussies.

How do you spell "Mississippi?"

- Mississippi.
- Mississippi.

M-I-S-S-I... Missi--

...S-I-P-P-I.

Mississippi.

No.

M-I-S-S-I-

S-S-I-P-P-I.

- Mississippi.
- Mississippi
with an I at the end?

- Wouldn't it be a Y?
- Mm. Trust me, trust me.

NARRATOR: You spell Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I.

Or backwards,
I-P-P-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-M.

- Yeah, we got it.
- Fuck yeah.

- Do we?
- I think so.

NARRATOR: One last question
for the Americans.

In Australia,
if someone refers to a franger,

what would they be
talking about?

- It's a fucking franger.
- [laughs]

- Does it sound aggressive?
Or is it franger?
- A little.

- A lazy person?
- Franger? Oh, that's good.

- Yeah?
- I support it.

Okay.
We're gonna lock in
"a lazy person."

- NARRATOR: Incorrect.
- [buzzer buzzes]

A franger is a condom

which is worn down under, mate.

Damn it!

We used the shit
out of that franger last night.

[laughing]

That's a big franger.

NARRATOR: This competition
would fit right next to my bed

because it's a draw.

Ooh, see,
that means we didn't do too bad.

- We didn't do too bad.
- There's someone out there
that's smart too like us.

Or dumb like us.
Either way, we'll take it.

- Yeah.
- A tie is a tie. Even Steven.

Really?

- A tie?
- Okay.

Fuck it.

NARRATOR: But it won't be a tie
for long.

Join us next week for another--

Hang on, no,
this is the last Unseen Bits
for "Love Island Games".

I guess it will be a tie
for long.

Forever if it doesn't get
recommissioned.

Join us as we continue
to turn more unseen bits

into seen bits

after the break.

[tinkling]

[theme music playing]

NARRATOR: Welcome back to
"Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.

I had a week of epic shocks
and nasty surprises,

but that was
from all the hot sauce
I put on my breakfast cereal.

Let's sink our teeth
into another of this week's
juiciest unseen bits.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: The explosive trio
of Courtney, Mike
and Carrington

contains some of
the biggest names
in "Love Island" history.

Carrington's what,
like, 10 letters.

That's a massive name.

And other than jumping up
to touch the door frame,

the only thing they had
on their minds

was major league pot stirring.

Bombs shooketh
by the bombshells.

They all needed
spiritual guidance,

and with the Buddha
only set to enter as a bombshell
next week,

Cely and Eyal kindly demoed

the swift and sexy path
to enlightenment

with their affirmation station.

CELY: Welcome to Eyal's
and Cely's affirmation class.

- Okay?
- EYAL: Affirmation 101.

- CALLUM: Question.
- EYAL: First question. Yes.

What the fuck is an affirmation?
Never heard of it.

So, it's words or a sentence

that is going to reinforce
positivity

and bring good energy to you

and the way
you're moving through life.

CELY: Jess.

Is it the same as a wish?

If you say it enough,
girl, you could speak it
into existence.

It would be like, for example,

"I am worthy
of winning challenges

no matter
my athletic abilities."

- Courtney?
- Courtney.

I know you got this, bitch.

I'm gonna show up
as the best version of myself
possible every day.

- Yeah. [laughs]
- Yeah.

- That was good.
That was good.
- Wow.

Callum, your brain goes so fast.
Just spit something out.

All right, here we go.

So, I am going to continue

to dance and prance
my way around this villa

with a full jar of minerals,

every single day,

no matter what
"Love Island Games"
throws my way

'cause I am
the fucking guvnor.

- Yeah!
- Guvnor, boy!

- [indistinct].
- [indistinct].

- EYAL: You tell it.
- CELY: Jess?

I know you have one, girl.
I know you have one in there.

The-- the stage is yours.

And believe that shit.

- [laughs] Yes. Period.
- Yeah.

I am
a very good-looking specimen.

- Yes! Yes! And what else?
- Yeah, come on!

- And what else?
- Come on,
tell it to the universe.

- What are you?
- What are you?
What are you?

I am courageous!

- [Cely screams]
- Yes! Say it again!

- I am courageous!
- One more time!

- I am courageous!
- Yes!

NARRATOR: I will see another
unseen bit.

I will see another unseen bit.

I'm speaking it into existence

because here's
another unseen bit.

In this unseen bit,
the Islanders discuss

how they know they're in love.

The chat was open, honest,
and genuinely lovely,

which is exactly
why it was immediately cut
from the main show.

JACK: When did you know,
at what point in time

have you thought, "Oh, shit,
I'm actually in love."?

I knew I was in love when I'm--
When you do goofy stuff as well.

Like, it got to a point
where me and my ex were, like,
sat on the toilet together

having full-on conversations,
like,

we got past them barriers
and we're just, like,

we're just doing mad stuff.

What would you say
is the weirdest thing

you've done for love?

Like, what you wouldn't normally
do?

Like, something
that you wouldn't normally do
for anyone else,

but you've done for them
because you love them?

I have a weird thing
where when I'm in love

I start to like
the person's, like,
BO sometimes.

That's fucked.
What? Licking pits?

You licking pits in sex?
"Oh, baby, lick my pits.
Lick 'em."

No, but, like,
they smell, like,
their natural...

Hermophomes.

- Pheromones.
- CALLUM: Pheromones.

KYRA: Yeah, like,
it hasn't been like that

for every person I've been with,
but, like, some.

Yeah, you're in love, love.
That could never be me.

That's definitely
a thing though.

Callum, what about you?

CALLUM: I've only been
in love once.

She had, um, a tampon

that went too far up
and she couldn't get it out,
right?

Yeah,
she could not get it out, bro.

It was an issue.
String gone, the lot.

And I'm thinking,
"Oh, she really needs my help."

She was actually in pain.

I'm thinking, "Fuck it, do it."

Fucking splash water on my face,

pep up like that,
on one knee, no gloves on.

I'm going, "Fuck, all right,
let's have a look."

And I have to dig in,
pull it out.

If that's not love,
I don't know--

Now, that's being
a real boyfriend because that--

that is an amazing--
an amazing thing you did.

- CALLUM: Yeah.
- That's a real one right there.

NARRATOR: The first time I knew
I was falling,

was my skydiving instructor.

That wasn't a skydiving joke.

I was in love, and I fell hard

when she forgot to pack
my parachute.

That was a skydiving joke.

Usually, if a Love Island hunk
says they were up all night

testing mattresses,

it's code for something
that is not strictly related

to lumbar support.

Unless of course,
that hunk is Jack.

I'm gonna change the mattress,
my brother.

I wanna change the mattress.

- Changing the mattress
is crazy.
- JACK: Is it?

Doesn't matter.
Who-- whose mattress is this?

It's Johnny's. It's Johnny's.

Oh, yeah, change it. [laughs]

NARRATOR: Now,
something happened next.

But what?

I guess I'm asking
what happened next.

Find out after the short snooze.

[theme song playing]

["Livin' our Best Life"
by Lee Richardson]

* I think we're living
our best life, best life, yeah *

NARRATOR: Welcome back
to a little thing I like to call

"Love Island Games" Unseen Bits.

The show where you get to see
the extra exclusive content

that's so far been unseen.

So, pop a squat...

as we show you the rarest
of rare Islander moments

that are jaw-dropping

and brain-poppingly hilarious.

It's our last
Unseen Bits episode
of the season,

so forgive us
if we're a little bit
sentimental.

What does sentimental mean?

NARRATOR: It's your favorite
show of the week.

Oh, what the fuck?

NARRATOR: No, the month.
Year. Eternity.

- [indistinct].
- No fucking way.

How-- how long did it take you
to do your makeup today?

How long did it take you?

How long did you take
to do your makeup today?

Fucking [indistinct]. No!

- On three. [laughs]
- [indistinct]. [laughs]

NARRATOR:
Back before the break--
Do you remember that?

I started trailing
a brand-new mattress protector.

His name's Jack.

I wanna change the mattress.

- Changing the mattress
is crazy.
- JACK: Is it?

RAY: doesn't matter.
Who-- whose mattress is this?

It's Johnny's. It's Johnny's.

Oh, yeah, change it. [laughs]

NARRATOR: So,
what happened next?

Changing the mattress is crazy.

- JACK: Oh! Oh!
- [Cely laughs]

RAY: Are you all right?
Are you good?

- JACK: Oh! Oh!
- [Cely laughs]

- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God!

That's it, Cely.
You keep laughing, girl.

- Your mattress next.
- [laughing]

NARRATOR: After that,
Jack should take the view
recommended by Freddie Mercury

at the end
of "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Nothing really mattress.

Anyone can see.

Nothing really mattress to me.

Except
for this next unseen bits.

[eerie music plays]

Recently
the Islanders became convinced
the villa is haunted

after several
terrifying encounters
with ghoulish creatures.

We explained that's just
the camera department

and there's no more to it,

but the girls are unconvinced.

Do you believe in ghosts?

- Yeah.
- CELY: Hell yeah.

They're real,
I'm fucking terrified.

I've been talking to them
every night.

- Oh, creepy.
- Really?

[indistinct].

I knew I seen you
in the corner, girl.

Have you ever seen one?

I-- No, but I feel like for me,

like, I would die if I did.

Like, I--
my heart's not strong enough.

Why do I feel like
I would just sit there
and kiki with them?

- That's insane.
- Like, sometimes
I'm, like, "Show yourself."

Like, I just wanna chat.

So, like on my season
of "Love Island," right, like,

my best friend on there,
she just coupled up with a guy,
his name's Austin.

And she was, like,
she used to always say,

"All right, universe,

if Austin is the boy for me,
and we're gonna last,

please show me a butterfly."

And we never saw butterflies
in the villa.

Every time she said that,

a butterfly, like, flew past,

- and we all started screaming.
- Oh, my gosh.

- And then my other friend--
- Is she still with him now?

- Yeah, they're full together.
- LIBERTY: Oh, my gosh.

- That's insane.
- I believe in all that shit.

But that's why I'm, like,
I just wanna chat

- because sometimes I feel like,
it's like--
- Cely.

I just wanna pull my ghost
for a chat.

NARRATOR: Universe,
if this peanut butter
and stout smoothie

is the one for me,

don't make your presence known
in any way.

And that is a green light
from the afterlife.

Bottoms up.

Mm. Booze and nuts.

Some people say marriage
or bringing a child
into the world

are the most meaningful
experiences in their life.

But that's because
they've never had the chance
to narrate their way

into the Unseen Bits
about alien orgies.

Do you guys think there's,
like, social classes of aliens?

Social classes of aliens?

- I don't think they're like--
- You think there's
a Kardashian family of aliens?

- [laughing
- Aliens could just be fucking
right now.

- I hope that they have
alien orgies.
- I hope so too.

- Good for them, man.
- EYAL: Good for them.

But it could be--
They could talk
in a whole different way.

Like, they can just have, like,
a tentacle that comes out

and, like, reaches over
and then be like--

Yeah, sex might not be
a pleasurable thing for them.

- Yeah, bro,
it could just be like--
- JOHNNY: Reproduction.

EYAL: Yeah, it's like foxes.

Have you heard foxes having sex?

- Because they scream.
- What do you mean?

- How they sound?
- [Eyal screams]

And the reason is
because the--
the male fox's penis goes in,

and it's like an arrow,
and then it can't come out.

And so it's like, it's pain

and that's why they scream
so loud.

- IMANI: Oh, my God.
- Why have you told me that?

My day was going fine.

We were having
a lovely conversation
about alien orgies,

and you want to just
fucking bring that up, bro?

Arrow dick?
Now we're talking about
arrow dick.

- JOHNNY: Arrow dick.
- [all laugh]

NARRATOR: Alien orgy, fox sex.
Oh, no, that's public.

I'm gonna have to change
my Peacock password.

[theme music playing]

This is "Love Island Games"
Bits Unseen.

After last week's
Unseen and Uncensored,

we got a cease and desist letter

from the Japanese show,
Unseen and Unsenseid.

After clearing up
the misunderstanding,

we're once again free
to bring you an epic

Unseen & Uncensored.

We asked the Islanders,
what's the one thing

you wouldn't want your family
to know?

Which they answered
in the one place

that would guarantee
their family would know.

If you're lucky,
maybe they don't have
a Peacock subscription.

Something I don't want
my family to know,

so they can watch it back
and know, hmm.

A little secret
my parents don't know.

I'm gonna tell y'all,
so look, check it.

So, when I had a girlfriend
back in the day, you know, um,

she used to sleep over my house
but she would have to sleep
in the guest bedroom.

But look, she didn't.

At night time
when they went to sleep,

she'll sleep in my room,
sneak, you know,

a little tiptoe,
come in my room.

You know what I'm saying?
A little eh, eh, eh.

Boom, she'll sneak
back in the other room,

and my mom will come check,
like, "Oh, how everybody doing
in the morning?"

And... [scoffs]

They think I lost my virginity
at 18,

but I actually lost it at 15.

I was eight years old,
and I snuck out of my house,
and I walked to church

because I was so mad at them
for grounding me.

And I went to church to pray
and I was like,

when I come back,
there's gonna be cops everywhere

and they're gonna be so mad
at me.

I came back home and came,
climbed in through my window

expecting to, like, you know,
fucking see a bunch of chaos.

They didn't even realize
I was gone.

To this day, they never knew
that I snuck out
to go to church and pray.

One time I had a girlfriend
and a boyfriend
at the same time.

One time I'm on the flight
back from Hawaii, like,

a five-hour flight
back to Los Angeles.

And I just so happened
to sit next to a bad thing.

And with everyone around us,

she, um, puts her head in my lap

and, uh,
she got real comfortable.

One time
when I was leaving the club--
Did they know I was at the club?

No, because I was--
Shouldn't have been at the club.

It was a school night,

and I literally had
my Uber driver walk me
to the door

and just-- just laid one on him.

Laid a big old kiss on him.
And I was like, "Okay, bye."

Mom...

I threw a party in your house
when I was living there,

and you have no idea about it
'cause you was
in a different country

and the police were called
and, uh,

we had about 200 people
in the house.

Probably how many girls
I snuck into the house
when I was younger.

I snuck someone
in the house, right?

And I-- I was a really good kid.

Like, I really did not make
a lot of mistakes,

I didn't do
anything mischievous.

So, I snuck somebody
in the house,
and our alarm went off.

So, because my mom and my family
trusted me so much,

they're like,
"What happened," you know?

And so they called the police.

And I had to see it through.

Probably that I had a threesome
or two.

Who knows? See ya. Goodbye.

A secret that I don't want
my parents to know

is that I'm on "Love Island
Games" in 2023.

I was just, like,
I'm going on holiday
with the boys.

Um, I'm probably gonna be going
to, like,

remote islands and stuff,
so I'm not gonna have
much signal,

but I'll get back to you
as soon as I can.

Sometimes you do have
to tell your parents
what they wanna hear.

Mom, I'm sorry.

NARRATOR: I'm sure
the broken trust
will very quickly be repaired

in just a decade or five.

[screaming]

And with that,
we are out of secrets

- and Unseen Bits
for the season.
- Bosh.

NARRATOR: But don't you worry,
there are more main episodes

- to come.
- Sex. Sex. Sex.

NARRATOR: Our all-stars
will bid to become

the inaugural "Love Island
Games" champion couple

- 2023.
- We have to bring it.

Last time I wore a sailor's hat,
I was fucking having it off
in the Hideaway.

NARRATOR: Thanks for tuning in
to "Love Island Games"
Unseen Bits.

We'll see you next time.
Hopefully.

Good night.

***