All language subtitles for [SubtitleTools.com] Operation.Petticoat.1959.1080p 4

I just came to look around.

- All right if I go below?

Certainly, sir. Can I get you some coffee?

No, I'll just go below and wait for the captain. Maybe later.

Who's he?

- That's Sherman.

And what is he doing here at six in the morning?

He came to make sure that you were comfortable.

Don't you know anything about submarines?

Yes, sure. I know Sherman. He's the boss of Submarines Pacific.

- He was the first captain of this boat.
- Yes, I know that.

Then you should be able to figure out what he is doing here.

If you were the first skipper of the "Sea Tiger"...

and you ordered her sent to the junkyard at nine...

what would you be doing at six?

USN SEA TIGER CAPTAIN'S JOURNAL

December 10, 1941.

Moored starboard side to Machina Wharf. Cavite Navy Yard...

Philippine Islands, for provisions and fuel.

Directive received from Commander Asiatic Fleet...

You will sink or destroy all enemy ships wherever encountered.

Have advised Commander Submarine Force, Asiatic Fleet...

that Sea Tiger

...will be ready for sea at 19:00, 10 December 1941.

Captain! Captain!

Enemy planes over.

- Ready on engines?
- The best we can, Sir.

Cut those lines!

Take cover!

No, I'm not denying we suffered minor damage, Sir, but...

Minor damage??

What does it take to convince you?
You've been sunk!

- Maybe you ought to read your own report.

Bulkheads, main ballast tanks and pressure hull

ripped by bomb fragments.

Engine room flooded, main induction and ventilation wrecked...

torpedo tubes inoperable, motor controls and reduction gear inoperable...

electrical equipment, wiring, gauges, gyro, radio."

All you've got out there...

is a periscope sitting on top of a couple of thousand tons of scrap metal.

What do you suggest, sir?

Should we underwater weld to jury patch the hull before pumping her out...

or should we raise her first and then work on the hull?

Matt, with major repairs and a complete overhauling

maybe Sea Tiger could be put back into commission.

- A functioning Navy yard might do it.
- Sir.

My chiefs are pretty good hands.

Now, they know they're on their own and what they're up against. But...

...we all think we can get "Sea Tiger" back in the war.

Yes, on who's side?

The word is, we're due to evacuate back to Bataan.
The 26th is the outside date...

That gives you less than two weeks to do a job the yard couldn't do in two months.

Well naturally sir we don't figure to get her into fighting trim right away...

Just sufficient make shift repairs to take her out of here to get her to the nearest sub tender.

That would be the "Bushnell", in Darwin.

That's almost two thousand miles of ocean...

with the Japanese Navy roaming over it.

And you're going to make it in a sub held together with spit and bailing wire?

Sir...

the "Sea Tiger" was built to fight.
She deserves a better epitaph than...

"commissioned 1940, sunk, 1941.

Engagements: none.
Shots fired: none."

Now you can't let her go that way, it's like...

a beautiful woman dying an old maid, if you know what I mean...

by an old maid.

- Did you ever sell used cars?

I've got a hunch you missed your calling.

Alright, Matt. You've got two weeks to get her out or we blow her up.

Fair enough.

By the way...

three of my officers and eighteen of my men have already been transferred to other ships

- ...How soon can I can get them back?
- You don't.

You'll have to get by with a skeleton crew.

I'll get you what replacements I can.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

All done.

-Get your men to clean up the rough edges.
-But sir...
-That's all we can do now.

An odd job but might hold alright.

Yes, sir.

Do you think the No. 2 tank will hold?

All that we can do is try, sir.

- Which one are you holding?
- The left.

Well hang on.

Okay, give her some air.

I found it, I found it!

- Found it. Look.
- I give up. What is it?

The cake that my mother sent me.

Isn't that nice. Take it to the cook, maybe he'll warm it up.

Mothers.

Why couldn't she send something we need?

Like a universal coupling joint.

What is it, Molumphry?

I do not know, sir.

Have a look.

Looks like the Good Humor man.

- I wonder if he left his tie off.
- What's going on?

- Take a look at this, sir.

Holy moly.

What is it?

I hope I'm wrong, but with that suitcase I'd say he was one of the replacements.

Oh, no. Don't tell me that!

- Oh, for heaven's sake!
- Do you know anything about him?

Only from the society pages of the Honolulu newspapers;...

- His name is Lieutenant Nick Holden.
- Holden.

He's the darling of the high-brass social set.

- I'll bet he is.
- He and the Admiral's wife...

won the rumba championship two years in a row!

Okay, fellows. Come on, knock it off.
Let's get back to work.

Lieutenant Nick Holden, reporting for duty, sir.

Ah well.. you must excuse the men for staring, Mr. Holden...

But it's unusual to see an Admiral's aide out without the Admiral.

He was scheduled to be transferred here.
I was sent ahead to make arrangements, but....

- then the war broke out...
- And you're sorta stranded?

Yes, sir. Captain Henderson assigned me to you...

He said to hurry on down here before you left.

The bearings are okay sir...

but if we don't come up with an oil pump shaft the only way...

we're gonna get out of here is by rowing.

Didn't Hunkle put that follow up on the requisition?

Requisition? That's all we ever do.
But we never get anything.

We might as well write a letter to Santa Claus.

Yeah. Well, okay. Thanks, Tostin.

- Have you ever been in a submarine before Mr. Holden?

We could use a good torpedo and gunnery officer.
Any experience along those lines?

- Guns? I'm afraid not, sir. No.
- How about navigation?

- Terribly sorry.
- Communications?

Wish I could help you out, sir.

Tell me.

Before you became an Admiral's aide What did you do in the navy, Mr. Holden?

Well, sir, I was primarily an idea man.

I see. Well...

Tell me... what does an idea man do?

Well sir, I coordinated the Navy day parade in Milwaukee...

and then I was the special liaison officer for the Eleventh Naval District.

- Liaison to what?
- Hollywood.

I coordinated the designing of enlistment posters.

Then from there I was transferred to Fleet Headquarters Honolulu.

Is that where they gave you sea duty?

No, sir. I was the Recreation Officer at the Royal Arms Hotel.

Just for my information, Mr Holden...

What does an idea man do in a hotel?

Well you see sir, the Navy took over the hotel for officer's training...

and I saw to it that entertainment was provided.

- Have you ever been to sea?
- Yes, sir, destroyer duty.

- How did you find time for it?
- It was a mistake, sir.

About a week after I left Honolulu they got it straightened out.

Who, the Admiral or the Admiral's wife?

She must be upset with you stranded out here...

that will probably cost her the rumba championship this year.

Holy night!

Here you go, my man.
Will you take this bag and clubs to the submarine?

Thank you, son.

Hunkle.

What about those oil pumps for Tostin?

Well sir, I put in four requisitions.

- Did you put stamp them urgent?
- I put a requisition in for one, sir.

- For what?
- An urgent stamp, we haven't got one.

Haven't we received anything from supply?

The only requisition that's been filled

is the requisition for more requisition paper.

Captain, I got the trim pump torn down.
Would you care to look at it?

- Yes.
- All right, Hunkle.

May I help you, sir?

No, not really. My name is Lt. Nick Holden.

- I'm Ernest Hunkle.
- Pleasure to meet you.

Would care for some coffee?

- Yes, thank you.
- Follow me.

- Who is that, Hunkle?
- It's " The Prophet ", sir.

Is he always that cheerful?

That's just the way he is, sir.
Don't mind him.

- Cream and sugar?
- Yes, thank you.

"Why even try?...

If you're lucky enough...

to live through today...

tomorrow...

you will die."

I don't know...

From the looks of things around here.
I got a feeling he knows what he's singing about.

- Here's your coffee, sir.

- Excuse me, I must get back to my work.
- Certainly.

- What?
- Sir. Look at this.

Sir, last June, when we were here,
I requisitioned toilet paper.

Now every time we've been back since I sent through a follow up...

All according to the book through channels.

I even submitted a sample of the material required.

So what happens?

The whole works just came back stamped:
"Cannot identify, requisition cancelled".

Not that I'm complaining, sir
but this is the sort of thing I have been going through.

All right, Hunkle. Relax...

Take a letter.

Let's see.

- Are you ready?

From Commanding Officer " USS Sea Tiger "...

To Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Cavite, Philippines...

Dear Commander Submarine Forces, etc...

Subject: Toilet paper.

On 6 June, 1941...

this vessel submitted a requisition
for 150 rolls of toilet paper...

On 16 December, 1941...

the requisition was returned with stamped notation...

"can not identify material required".

The Commanding Officer of the " USS Sea Tiger "...

can not help but wonder what is being used...

at Cavite supply depot as a substitute for this unidentifiable material...

once so well known to this command.

- What?
- Excuse me for interrupting.

- Have you ever been to Las Vegas?
- Why?

The boys up there would say you're trying to make your point the hard way.

I mean putting in requisitions, going through channels...

You've got to sneak up a few back alleys.

What you need sir, is a Supply Officer who can help you find those back alleys.

- You, Mr. Holden?

- You'd ruin your manicure.

Don't let my manicure fool you, sir.

I was born and raised in a neighborhood called " Noah's Ark ".

If you didn't travel in pairs, you just didn't travel.

Why don't you make out your shopping list, sir
and I'll see what's left at the market?

Now you're not the volunteering type.
What's your angle?

The same as yours.
We both want to get the...

...the submarine out of here.
You so you can fight your war...

Me...

Well, let's say I'm an optimist.

Wherever we're headed I am sure I can work a little better deal than the one I've got.

Mr. Holden, I may regret this...

but you've just been made my Supply Officer.

- Get your list from Hunkle.
- Thank you, sir.

With your permission, I am going to need a couple of men. May I pick my own?

Hunkle...

I've got a list for you. We're going shopping tonight.

Turn on the lights.

Look at it. Gentlemen, I think we hit pay dirt.

- You've got the list?
- Yes, sir.

Now as you find the stuff we need, start taking it to the door.

Now, let's go. We don't have much time.
Come on, boys.

Prophet, you get the wiring.

- I knew forgot something, sir.
- What did you forget?

I never wrapped up my belongings so they can be sent for my kinfolk...

- ...if we don't get back.
- Will you stop talking like that?

They're going to find us and shoot us down like a dog.

- Will you please shut up?
- That's alright, Hunkle.

He's got the right attitude; it shows he's very careful.

- Come on. Get it to the door.
- Don't forget what you promised the fellas...

When the shooting starts you turn your back so Gertie won't get splattered.

Who's Gertie?

- You mean you don't know about Gertie?
- Shut up.

And get moving with that thing.

Hunkle, who's Gertie?

Molumphry will sure be happy with this wiring.

Hunkle, I asked you a question.

Who's Gertie?

- She's really nobody...
- Hunkle.

Well you see sir, when my enlistment was up last year, the boys...

gave me a farewell party.

I do not usually drink, sir, but that night I must have.

The last thing I remember...

is standing in front of this tattoo parlor...

May I?

- They ought to hang you in the Louvre.
- I was going home to get married...

but when I saw myself in the mirror, I reenlisted.

I never could have explained Gertie to my fiancée.

No. I can see you've got a problem.

But look on the bright side ;...

You've probably got the sexiest chest in the Navy.

I am not one to worry when there's no need but...

after we get this stuff to the door,
how do we get it to the boat?

Don't worry about that, just keep your stuff... The police!

Check the warehouses.

Halt!

What's your business here?

- I stepped out for a breath of air.
- Let's see your identification.

Certainly. Here you are.

Lieutenant.

Why black face, sir?

Don't you know the penalty for breaking blackout regulations?

- Blackout regulations?
- You read the order from Admiral Nimitz?

- No. What order?
- Regulation 4-1-9-8-2:..

"... no navy personnel shall appear at night without face camouflage."

A plane comes over, you look up, give away our position.

Sergeant, a face like that could cause a lot of damage...

I'll have to put you on report.

Honestly, sir, no one told me about it.

Alright, you've been told.

Black out that face, Sgt.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

- Admiral Nimitz?
- Yes, sir.

- Man, that was close.
- It's a trap...

we used to catch the possums like that back home

you fool'em into feeling real safe and then, pow!

- We're just 3 possums waiting to get powed.
- Come on, Prophet. Just...

We've only got a couple of minutes.
Get the stuff.

- Hey Chief!
- Yeah, Dooley?

Your shaft's here.

Thanks, Dooley.

Look, Molumphry, brand new oil pump shaft.

Congratulations, look's just like you, Tostin.

- What's that?
- Your refrigerator unit.

- That?
- We were lucky to get it.

Man, it was cold in that ice house.

- Look, sir, brand new oil pump shaft.
- Fine, fine.

- Now where is Mr. Holden?
- He's keeping an eye on the truck, sir.

Mr. Holden!

- It turned out to be a good night for shopping, sir.

Could be something saved.

Well I got a pretty good idea where you got the Navy supplies,

but where did you pick up an army truck?

Oh, I'm afraid I can't take credit for the truck, sir. No, ah...Ramon got it.

- Ramon?
- Ramon!

Smile, sir. He's very sensitive.

- What?
- Captain Sherman, Sergeant Gillardo.

I'm very happy to be a member of your crew, sir.

What do you mean, a member of my crew??

Well, sir...

I promised the sergeant that if he helped us out, you would take him on.

But he's a marine.

Well, he's open to a better offer.
You'd better get back to work right now.

I'll handle everything.

That man's a prisoner!

Well, it was. You see, the prison stockade was bombed out.

you have no idea the trouble I had in finding him.

You mean you actually went looking for him?

Of course. He's the greatest operator around here...

Why six months after he became General Warren's personal chef...

- ...he was in business for himself.
- I'll bet.

Sole owner of the best restaurant in Manila.

And what about that " P " on his back?

- The " P "?
- Yeah.

-Oh, that...
-Yeah, let's start with that.

Well you see, someone started prying around and found out that the Marine Corps...

was supplying all the meats and silverware.

But he's a man who can get a job done for you, sir.

Why there isn't a burglar, swindler, pickpocket or fence on the island...

that doesn't love, know, and respect him.

That's probably a glowing recommendation, by your standards, Mr. Holden...

But I have no intention of taking a thief on as part of my crew...

He's not only a thief, he's an escaped prisoner, a deserter.

- That's true sir, but we've gotta remember he's one other thing.
- What?

He's also an informer...

and if we don't take him with us, why he'll just tell everybody everything.

Yeah.

And you're in too deep for than now, sir.

You see, we don't have a sales slip for all this merchandise.

Well, it seems I'm neatly boxed in, Mr. Holden.

You've made a wise decision, sir.
I'll go tell him, he'll be so happy.

Ramon!

You've got to give him credit, sir...

- that's what I call a Supply Officer.
- What?

I wonder where they got everything.

Mr. Stovall, there's only one way to live with this situation.

It's like watching a stripteaser...

do not ask how it's done, just enjoy what's coming off. Here, oh...

19 December, 1941.
The repairs progressing.

Crew morale high, except for their concern that...

our supply officer might be caught and shot.

My emotions about this are mixed...

Lt. Holden and Sgt. Gillardo are undoubtedly...

the world's greatest thieves.

Scavengers.

To paraphrase Mr. Churchill ;...

" never have so few stolen so much from so many."

And what they can't find in the warehouses...

they improvise.

Mr. Sherman, I'm aware that there's been wholesale scavenging going on...

Now I've tried to overlook it, knowing the position you're in.

- Yes, sir.
- But this time you've gone too far.

Mr. Sherman...

I want my wall back.

- Well, eh... I'm not sure we have it, sir.
- You must have it. You've got everything else.

Now I don't mind a bit of initiative, but you...

Oh sir, I've got to get back to my boat.

Wait a minute, I'll go with you!

- Any damage, Stovall?
- No direct hit, sir.

Concussion may have sprung a few plates in the tanks, Mr. Watson's checking.

Our camouflage caught fire, and we had to cut it down.

- Were we spotted?
- Yeah...

A couple of them came in close enough for us to spit at...

and with that 50 outta commision that's about all we could do.

Well, I guess that just about does it.

- They'll know exactly where to find us anytime they're in the mood.

- I'm sorry, Matt.

Sir, request permission to get underway immediately.

- Get underway?
- Yes.

In that?

Well, I can get her as far as Cebu and complete repairs there.

- Cebu??
- Oh, it's only about 400 miles, sir.

You'd be in trouble if it was only 400 feet.
You're in no condition to go out.

- Sir, we've made amazing progress.
- Why she can't even submerge...

Then if you try running on top in the daylight, you're a dead duck.

- Molumphry!
- Yes, sir?

- Can this boat go down?
- Like a rock, sir.

- Mr. Watson, how are the plates?
- Tight as a drum, sir.

- And the engines, Tostin?
- Factory fresh, sir.

What do you say, sir?

I say take your scavengers and these liars here and get out.

- Yes, sir.
- Now there's one stipulation, though...

You will engage no enemy shipping and that includes lifeboats.

Even if you sight one of the enemy swimming in the water; avoid him.

He might kick a hole in your side.

- Yes, sir.
- Good luck.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, Matt.

This wouldn't be what's left of my wall, would it?

I wouldn't know, sir.

Well if it is, I'd appreciate you at least...

- ...setting my window back.
- Yes, sir.

Well, what do you think?
Can we make it?

Well, we've got No. 1 engine in shape.

No. 2 I'll tell you about it after we get it put back together again.

How about three and four?

Well, I've been using them for parts for one and two.

I am a religious man, Captain,
I believe we'll get through if the Good Lord puts His mind to it.

Of course, He'll have to give us his undivided attention.

Mr. Watson!

Be ready to get underway the moment Mr. Holden and his gang get back.

- Aye, sir.
- Any idea where they went?

No, sir. When the air raid started they took off.

All Mr. Holden said was: "in confusion there is profit."

It's obviously the same guys who...

Sir, we just got a call from the Security Officer, and he is raising hell.

Why? What's wrong?

Well it seems like someboy stole his safe.

What happened, sir?

Douglas, I think we've been victims of Sherman's march to the sea.

Ho... Make for getting underway.

Aye aye, sir.

All hands, stand to your lines.

Lookouts out for sea.

- Ready to get underway?
- Ready, sir.

Get ready on No. 1 engine.

Maneuvering, Bridge.
Get ready on No. 1 engine.

Ready on No. 1 engine.

Maneuvering, Bridge.
Get ready on No. 1 engine.

Any time they're ready.

Maneuvering, Bridge.
Any time you're ready.

Mr. Holden! What the devil is that?

That's a witch doctor, sir. Ramon found him in the hills. We hired him.

You hired him?

To ward off evil spirits and to wish us a safe journey.

I figured we could use all the help we could get, sir.

Hey hey hey hey.

Cut that out.

Mr. Holden! Will you tell this fella...

I can't hear myself think!

Will you go away, please?

Get away from my boat!
Get away from my...!

Single up all lines.

Single one.

Single four.

Right full rudder.

All ahead one third, starboard back one third.

All ahead one third, starboard back one third.

What a character.

All stop. Shift your rudder.

All stop. Shift your rudder.

All ahead two thirds. Ease your rudder.

All ahead two thirds.
Ease your rudder.

You'll never make it.

Tostin'd still fighting it out with No. 2 engine, sir.

Sounds like he's losing.

How's the battery charge?

We've got just enough for a trim dive.

You care to try it?

No, not now. We'll wait until dawn.
We'll have to take her down then.

We've got to try it sometime.

I'm not complaining, sir.
I had my choice.

Of what?

I could have gone to West Point.

Careful, sir.

Well, now is the time.

Let's weigh her down.

Aye, sir.

- Clear the bridge.
- Clear the bridge.

- Number one!
- Aye.

- Number Two!
- Aye.

- Number Three.
- Number Four.

- Make depth five-eight feet.
- Aye, sir. Five-eight feet.

Five-eight feet.

Cross the bubble...

Close all vents.

All ahead one third.

All ahead one third.

Peri-depth, sir.

Ok, let's check her for leaks.
Take her down to 100 feet.

All ahead two-thirds.

All ahead two-thirds.

6 degrees down bubble.

All compartments check for leaks.
Report to control.

All compartments check for leaks. Report to control.

Close watertight doors.
Close bulkhead flappers.

Close watertight doors.
Close bulkhead flappers.

Steadying.

She's sure moaning and groaning, sir.

Cycle all vents.

I doubt if Sam Sneed would approve of using irons that way.

We're sure lucky that Mr. Holden
had a set of golf clubs.

Aren't we?

Guess we didn't bleed all the air out of the hydraulic system.

100 feet.

You can't win, my friend.

You can't win.

You can't win, so why even try?

If you're lucky enough...

to live through today...

Tomorrow you will die.

All compartments report tight, sir.

Thank you.

Open the watertight doors.

- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.

If you're ready for breakfast, sir,
I'll be in the wardroom in a few minutes.

- What is that?
- Orange juice, sir.

Where are you taking it?

To Mr. Holden.
He's having breakfast in bed, sir.

Wait a moment, Sgt.

- I'll take it to him.

May I come in?

Please do.

- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mr. Holden.

- I've got a bad neck from too much tennis.
- Really?

Well. Did you get a good night's sleep?

Not too good; it was a little damp and noisy. Strange surroundings.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

Well, how's the food? Satisfactory?

Excellent, thank you.

- Would you like a cigar?
- No, no thanks.

Well... I suppose after you digested breakfast...

you'll want to get up on deck and play a little shuffleboard, right?

This war must be rather inconvenient for you- eh, Mr. Holden?

I try to make the best of it, sir..

Yes, and you do, indeed you do.

Now, I know you aren’t familiar with the way the Navy functions at sea.

- Cigarette?
- No, thanks.

But here we all...

We all eat together, we all work together...

And just so you won't upset that system, I'm afraid you will have to do it our way.

Now you've got exactly three minutes to get off your fat mattress and...

- ...get dressed, and report to Mr. Watson!
- Yes, Sir.

You're going to learn something about this submarine

if I have to poor it into you intravenously!

Oh and another thing: around here we all dress alike.

Have you got any regulation trousers?

No, I don't Sir. I had all my clothes made at "Saks" Fifth Avenue.

I'm sorry I can't to do anything about the uniform, but don't want you to think..

I'm going to expect breakfast in bed every morning.

The scuttlebutt is that we'll try to submerge at daybreak...

And I figured if you gotta go, you might as well go big.

Mr. Holden, it's past daybreak and we are submerged.

- We are?
- We are.

- You mean we're under??

I hope... Well, it isn't a permanent situation, er...

What I'm trying to say is, I mean, we can come up if we'd like to?

Well, I'd like to think we can.
But I'm an incurable optimist.

What happens, sir, if we, er...?

What happens if we can't...?

Oh, well, if we can't, er..

Then, we, er..

- What kind of answer is that?
- Why, you nervous, Mr. Holden?

Tell me something: Why did you join the navy?

Because I needed an officer's uniform.

As a kid I was victim of the most vicious propaganda ever...

People kept telling me that money wasn't everything, and I believed it.

Until I found out that the people who were saying that...

"Money wasn’t everything", were the people that had all the money.

So I figured they were trying to hide a good thing.

Sir, please sit down.

Now, there are two simple ways that you can get money...

You can steal it, or you can marry it.

Now, if you're going to marry it, you got to travel in the right circles...

on the right side of the tracks.

Two things I learned, Sir...

One: A uniform can get you into the best places, and two...

No one ever checks the Dun and Bradstreet's grading in a bedroom.

That sounds like a winning combination.

Would you like to see the jackpot?

That's the girl from the right side of the tracks?

She owns the tracks...

Or, I should say 5.2 % of all the railroad stock in America.

Isn't she lovely?

We had a dinner date one night
and I was a few minutes late, I forget why and...

She didn't want it to happen again, so...

You ever see a $2,000 watch?

My, my, my.

When the minister says, will you take this woman?
he won't be kidding, will he?

- When is the happy occasion?
- The day I get back.

You see to it that I get back, Sir
and I'll see to it that you have your own private submarine.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Excuse me.

Is this normal or should I be nervous again?

One of our sea connections carried away, Sir...

We're rigging a jury patch, but I don't think it will hold.

Prepare to surface.

Stand by to surface.
Lookouts to the conning tower.

Stand by to surface.
Lookouts to the conning tower.

- How much time do we need for repairs?
- About six hours...

- ...if we can work over the side.
- Six hours...

Well, I guess the nearest place with any kind of sheltered anchorage...

Would be off Marinduque island, so we'd better head for there.

- Okay
- Keep your eye on it..

- All clear, Sir.
- Fine

- Sound surface alarm.

22 December, 1941.

Arrived Marinduque about two hours after enemy air raid.

Repairs have to be completed before their next visit.

To get Lt. Holden out from underfoot...

I sent him and his men to scout the situation on the island.

Mr. Holden is coming back, sir.

War is hell, Mr. Watson.

Well, it's not only that, Sir.

Wait until you see what he's got with him.

Women!

Wow! That's what I call scavenging!

I... What I meant Sir, is that I..

That I'm sure there must be something they can be used for.

I can think of any number of uses, but not here and now.

Mr. Stovall, Lt. Holden's influence upon you is beginning to worry me.

I suggest you "Wow!" less and "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk" a little more....

- Major Heywood.
- Major Heywood.

- Lieutenant Duran.
- Lieutenant Duran.

- Lieutenant Reid.
- Lieutenant.

Lieutenant Colfax.

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant Crandall.

If anybody ever asks you what you're fighting for....

there's your answer.

Lt. Holden was kind enough to invite us to go with you.

What?

The Major and her unit were stranded, Sir.

We were en route to Manila when we got word it was being bombed...

- So our plane made an emergency landing here..

Then when the Japanese strafed the airstrip I...

our plane took off to keep from being destroyed on the ground.

It was... was supposed to come back for us.

- Oh, I see.
- It didn't make it.

They were the only American personnel on the island, Sir..

You could not possibly leave them there.

- It's an emergency, sir.
- Yes. Thank you, Mr. Holden.

Now Major, it's... Obviously we'll have to get out of here as soon as we can, so...

If you'll take your party below, I'll get you as far as Cebu...

where you can rejoin an Army unit.

- Mr. Stovall, escort the ladies to the wardroom.
- Yes, Sir.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

- Thank you, ma'am.
- Right this way, ladies.

- I guess I'm stuck.

Just a minute.
Come on. That's right.

- Thank you very much.
- Suggest you take the other one off.

Mr. Holden, just a minute.

Please assemble the crew.

You will instruct them that they are to completely ignore the fact that our passengers are women.

I know that will require some...

readjustment in thinking, but I want every man on this submarine

to understand that our objective is Cebu and then Darwin.

If any man has any other objective in mind...

he'd better forget it.

You will put on report...

- Collision!
- Collision!

- Collision, sir!
- Whoa, whoa, relax...

we're not even moving.

- Who hit the collision button?
- I don't know, sir.

See, everything's got a reason for being here...

- What happened?
- I'm very sorry.

When I was coming down the ladder, I accidentally touched that button.

- She grabbed the collision alarm.
- Just a minute.

Please, ladies, there is one primary rule you must observe:..

Just keep your hands...
and... you're, uh...

Well, uh... Just don't touch anything.

Now, Mr. Stovall, the ladies will occupy the Chief's quarters and my cabin.

The Chief will bunk with the men.
Move my gear in with Watson...

and you stay with, what's his name... Holden.

Now, uh...

For the next few days we'll be living in fairly close contact with each other.

Now, you being women, and the...

the men, that is the crew, being men,
well, being confined like this could...

Could create situations not usually...

consistent with normal submarine operations.

- Well, what I mean to say...
- We know what you mean to say, Captain.

We're well acquainted with the facts of life.

So are the men, Major.
I'm simply trying to avoid any exchange of information.

Certainly, you must...

You must realize that...

Well, it's just that submarines are not designed to be coeducational.

That is to say...

Well, Mr. Stovall, you'll be good enough to take the ladies to the wardroom.

- I'll try to work out some kind of a schedule.
- Yes, Sir.

You'll eat in the officers' mess.

Your scheduled times are 07:00, 12:00 and 18:00.

Now, this is the shower.

Excuse me.

Instructions for operating are on the bulkhead.

Your shower period will be between 06:30 and 06:50.

You each will be allowed one and a half minutes.

A minute and a half?

Well, Captain's orders.
Problems with fresh water supply.

How can you shower in a minute and a half?

Why, what you miss one day you can get the next time around.

In here is what we in the Navy call the..

It's operated by the manipulation of the air compressor levers...

What do they call it?

The, er...

The head.

I've drawn a complete diagram here.
I'm sure you will have no trouble following it.

Why do they call it the head?

Doesn't say.

What, having a woman on board is bad luck, Sir...

And if one is bad luck,
where do you think five will get us.

All right Tostin, what do you want me to do about it?
Throw them overboard?

It's something to think about.

Do what you can, about it, okay?

Wait a minute!
Hunkle, what's going on in there?

A raffle, Sir.
They're drawing for the women.

They're drawing for the women?

Mr. Holden organized it.
They're picking the five lucky men now.

- I won! I won!
- What did you give away?

- What's going on?
- A raffle, sir.

What kind of raffle?

- Clothes.
- Clothes?

Yes. The men are donating
their clothes to the women, sir.

- Have you men finished chow?
- Yes, sir.

You better get back on the job.
We have to get out of here before sundown.

- Mr. Holden.

How did all that get started?

I thought I was boosting the men's morale, sir...

After all there's a practical side to be considered...

These women have been on an island for quite a while...

their clothes are all messed up.

Now, sooner or later they are going to have to wash them... Right?

Now, with everything hanging on the line and nothing hanging on the...

You see, sir, it could be rather awkward.

- Well, er... Carry on, Holden.

I wish they had a decent mirror in this place.

Why the Navy still use that silly clasp?

We just found out it's tradition...

each button represents one of the original thirteen states.

Well you better button up New Jersey.

- How's the shirt?
- A little tight.

I'd better reinforce those buttons before you take a deep breath.

The Navy's got to have some thread, come on.

What's wrong?

Seaman Kraus does absolutely nothing for you.

You don't put the crown jewels in a paper bag, do you? ...Come.

Where are we going?

But I'm happy in these pants

Barbara, they just won't do.

Now, let me see.

- They're really not uncomfortable.
- Barbara, will you stop being so nervous?

- Oh, I'm not nervous.
- But of course you're nervous.

This is part of my job:
I'm your Supply Officer.

- But I don't need any...
- 35-22-34.

I see you've issued supplies before...

Let's see...

"Shorts". Do you play tennis?

- Well, I...
- So do I. Here's a tennis sweater...

a shirt...

A nice robe, clean...

And... A pair of pajamas.

Stovall, aren't you due on watch?

I... I was just
on my way up.

Now where were we? Oh yes.

I think you ought to
try these on for size.

Lieutenant, I appreciate the offer but I can't take your pajamas.

Why not?

Well to be frank, it's a little embarrassing.

A girl just doesn't get into any man's pajamas.

If the man's not in them,
what's the harm?

And what are you going to sleep in?

All right, we'll compromise, I'll tell you what..

I'll take the bottoms...

And you can have the tops...

- unless you prefer...
- The tops will be fine.

Now..... What else can I give you?

Champagne.

- Come under the heading of supplies, too?
- er, No.

You see, I am also the Morale Officer.

You know, it's against regulations to have this aboard.

If we do not drink it, why, we'll just have to pour it out.

All we need is a couple of glasses and some ice.

- Now look, Lieutenant, well I...
- Ramon!

I'm ready to relieve you, sir.

You're an hour early, Mr. Stovall.

I couldn't sleep, So I thought I might as well come up.

Where are your binoculars?

In my room.

- Okay, carry on. I'll send them up.
- No, I'll go get them, sir.

- You've just relieved Mr. Watson.
- But you can't do that.

And why can't I do that?

- Well, because...
- Just what can't I do?

- Go to the room, I mean.
- Why I can't I go to the room?

Because Mr. Holden is sleeping.

- I'll do my best not to wake him.
- No! What I mean, is, that... He...

- He has company.
- He's sleeping and he has company?

What are we celebrating?

Lieutenant Holden was just, um,
giving me his clothes.

That's certainly worth drinking to,
but unfortunately... Regulations...

Oh, well. I think I'd better be going.

- Thank you, Lieutenant.
- Certainly.

- Where did you pick up the champagne?
- Captain Henderson's office.

With all his problems, I thought it best he keep a clear head.

Very thoughtful of you.

You know I have this rather unreasonable desire to get back into the war.

Yes, I know, sir.

I'd prefer to do it as captain of a fighting ship not a cocktail lounge.

As of this moment, the cocktail lounge...

- ...is closed, sir.

- And there'll be no customers after hours.
- Absolutely Sir.

Fine.

That's the idea.

Which one got your clothes?

I don't know. But I sure hope
it's the one with the big...

- Oh, knock it off, will you guys?
- What's the matter with you?

Quit talking about her that way.

- She's a woman.
- So?

- Well my mother is a woman.
- So?

I do not know, it...
just all seems to tie in somehow.

- Oh! Good morning.
- Good morning.

I'm having a little trouble.
I can't seem to get it to work...

I think there is something wrong with that shower head.

- Was it...
- Captain...

I'd like to apologize again for having set off that collision alarm.

That's all right. Tell me,
did you follow the instructions?

Yes, I turned this one...

and this one...

And this one.

- At least I think that's what I did.
- Yeah, that's what you did all right.

- Oh dear.
- That's okay.

Let me dry you off.

That's a clever shower schedule
you've got worked out, Sir.

Conserves water, too.

- Lt. Crandall was having a little difficulty.
- Sir, it's your boat.

Excuse me.

It's just as well it didn't work anyway.
Because I left my dusting powder in my room.

- Your dusting powder.
- Would you hold that for me please?
I'll be right back.

Terrible.

Good morning, sir.

- Good morning.
- Can I get you anything?

- Yeah, anything.

- My dusting powder.
- Oh, I see it.

- Excuse me.
- I... Yes...

- Wait, Captain. Sir!
- What is it?

There's a woman in my engine room.

- You got to get that woman out of my engine room.
- Who, Tostin?

The Major. She washed her clothes and hung them there to dry.

Stockings and everything!

It's bad luck to have a woman in the engine room.

Tostin, what harm can their clothes do?

That's when they're the most dangerous, they're like snakes.

When they shed their skin...
Look out!

Can I have my back scrubber please?

Yeah, there you are.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Tostin, I guess they have to dry their clothes somewhere...

And yours must be the most logical place.
So deal with the best way you can, will you?

- Yes, Captain.
- That's right, carry on.

- Sailor.
- Yes, ma'am.

Call me when these are dry.

Hey, look, I'm a machinist mate,
I ain't a...

laundry sailor.

- Sailor.
- Yes, ma'am.

Please try not to knock
anything down...

I wouldn't want it to land on this dirty floor.

- What's dirty?
- The whole engine room.

Look at that grease.

If you was bombed and sunk and pulled up by your stern...

you'd be a little greasy too.

Sailor.

- Chief!
- You'll never get it to work that way.

Why don't you go and...
Roll some bandages?

- What do you know about machinery?
- I was raised with it.

My father was Chief Engineer at the Seattle power plant.

That would work if you'd install a new valve spring.

"My father was Chief Engineer at"...
Hey look Lady, in the first place...

I'm trying to make do with something that don't even belong in a submarine...

In the second place, you can't install a new valve spring, if you ain't got it.

Now, will you get out of here?

You're talking to an officer.

Maybe Congress made you an officer, but God made you a woman...

and a woman just shouldn't mess around with a man's machinery.

Now, for the last time, get out, will you?

Good morning, sir.
May I pour you a cup of coffee, Sir?

- Never mind, I'll attend to it, you go ahead.
- Alright, Sir.

- Have the women finished breakfast?
- Yes, sir.

Oh, pardon me.

- I... I think I left my cigarette here.
Did you see it?

Perhaps?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, that's alright, Lieutenant.
I enjoy a cigarette with my coffee.

Oh, thanks.

Is that all you're having for breakfast?

Well, I'm a little nervous.
I don't feel much like eating.

Captain, I hope you do not mind a little professional advice but...

when a person is nervous and irritable...

You can be assured there's something he's not getting enough of.

- Vitamins and minerals.
- Oh, vitamins and minerals.

With an proper nutritional balance,
you wouldn't have any gray hair at all.

Oh, I like having gray hair, that way I can worry without it showing.

- I used to be just like you.
- What, gray hair?

- No, I mean run down and...
And I had such a poor appetite.

- Yes?

Then I started taking these pills that I have here...

- And they really got me up.
- Oh, no question about it.

Only you have to take one every three hours.

Oh, one... Well, you are very kind, Lieutenant and I appreciate the offer...

- but I'm busy man, I'd probably forget it.
- I'll remind you.

After all you're the Captain and it wouldn't do that you got sick too.

No, I won't...
Sick, too!

Who's sick?

Most of the men. Lieutenants Colfax and Reid are taking care of them.

Lt. Crandall, excuse me.

- You look pretty good to me.
- I don't feel so good.

- It's the stomach, and I feel a little woozy.
- Well, let's see.

You lie down over there for a minute.

Just keep that under your tongue.

- All right.
- Just... Over there.

Right. Now, what's
the matter with you?

- Williams.
- I've got a headache and my back hurts...

What's wrong?

I don't know, sir. I feel terrible.

You smell good.

What about you, Harmon?

I have these shooting pains in my head, sir.

- Probably fumes from that hair tonic.
- Yes, sir.

And you, Fox. What have you got on?

It's called " Surrender ", sir.

My mother sent it to me.

Come on. Break it up. Let's neutralize that cologne with a some perspiration.

Even our pharmacist's mate.

What's the matter, Dooley?

- He seems to have...
- Just a minute.

I don't know, sir.

I only hope I can last the day out.

Up, Dooley!

Thank you, ladies. We won't be needing you any more. The epidemic is over.

- I'm taking my coffee.
- You forgot your vitamin pill.

Thank you very much.

I'll remind you when it's time for the next one.

Yes.

Sir.

Lieutenant Crandall, I...

Pass the word to the crew. When
Lt. Crandall... You know Lt. Crandall?

When Lt. Crandall walks through any part of the boat,

I want her to be given clear passage.

- Right, sir.
- How's Mr. Holden coming with the torpedoes?

I decided he'd make better headway if he read the basic submarine manual first.

- He's in his cabin reading it.
- Good.

- Am I going down right?
- That's right.

- Is she going down right?
- She sure is.

Mr. Holden has been showing me around,
explaining how everything works.

- He's been explaining?
- We're just on our way to the maneuvering room.

I 'm afraid Mr. Holden won't be
able to maneuver this morning.

- Don't you have a book to read?
- Yes sir, I'm on Chapter Five, actually:..

- "Care and Operation of the Bilge Pump"
- All right.

I can't wait to see how it turns out.

You'll like it. It turns out happily;
they get each other in the end.

Engine Room to Captain.

Yeah, what is it, Tostin?

It's either her or me in this engine room!

I'll be right there.

It works. You're just to stubborn to admit it.

Get that thing out of my engine room!

- Look, Major... enough is enough...
- What's going on?

Look at what she did, sir.

It's only temporary until we can make a valve spring.

We?? What do you mean we??

I'll draw up the design and you can turn it out.

- Excuse me.
- Sure.

What are you going to do about it, sir?

I don't know. It works, doesn't it?

Yeah, but I'm here all day...
That thing going up and down.

- ...that's indecent.
- Well.

- Engine room. Is the Captain there?
- What is it, Molumphry?

- Better come up to the yeoman's office, sir.
- What's wrong?

Lieutenant Reid.
She just hit Hunkle.

Hit Hunkle? I'll be right there.
Hit Hunkle.

- What are you to do about her, Sir?
- Just keep an eye on it, Tostin.

Well, I'm sure it wasn't intentional, ma'am.

I know, it's just that I've never seen anything like that before on a man.

Mr. Hunkle?

I'm sorry.

That's all right, Lieutenant.

- Yes, sir.
- What happened?

- It was nothing at all, really, Sir.
- Then why did you hit him?

Well it's my fault, Sir.
I was changing my shirt...

- And then I went in to borrow the typewriter.
- I had my shirt off and she hit me.

It was just a reflex action.
I was embarrassed and I...

If you'll excuse me.

Hunkle, keep that pinup chest of yours covered, I've got enough troubles.

- Yes, sir.
- Captain, torpedo room calling the Captain.

- What is it, Harmon?
- What do I do with Lt. Colfax?

What's wrong?

She's dizzy, sir. I think she's getting seasick.
She insists she's got the bends.

I'll be right there.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

It's amazing how compact everything is.

On a sub you got to learn how to operate in close quarters.

- I think we better be going.
- Going where?

Well, Nick, haven't you got some reading to do?

How old are you, Barbara?

Twenty-four.

You are certainly a nervous twenty-four.
Look at yourself. You're all tense.

Your pulse is beating fast and your hands are cold.

We've got to do something about all this symptoms.

I'm afraid that the cure might be worse than the disease.

Barbara dear, you're a nurse,
you know how it is with people.

It's like that teapot...

Build a fire under it,
pressure builds up inside...

And it's got to be released.

- Mr. Holden, return to your quarters.

Captain, it wasn't his fault...

I encouraged him.

Lieutenant...

the last thing the men on this boat need is encouragement.

Major, if you can't control your women, lock them up.

What happened?

He caught us.

Doing what?

Nick kissed me.

- Oh?
- And I kissed him back.

Don't you think you're rushing things a little bit?

I mean, love underwater is fine if you are a fish, but...

Shouldn't you wait till you come up for air?

Major, my mother had a very simple outlook on life.

She always said: "Never worry about getting married..

someday you'll turn the right corner and meet the right man."

It hasn't been that easy.

I've been turning corners for twenty-four years.

D'you know, I think I finally turned the right one?

So, why go back out in that crowd and get lost again?

Barbara, if you're right, I'm in more trouble than I figured.

You're 24 and I'm 38.

You know, I may not be able to make it to the next corner?

Mister...

You've used that uniform for every purpose except what the government intended it for.

Now, why you got the uniform is your business...

But what it does on this boat is my business.

From here on out, mister, if that uniform leaves this cabin, don't you be in it.

You're confined to quarters.

- Battle stations!

Boy oh boy.

A sitting duck, sir.

Wow, a tanker!

Oh, she's a beaut.

Eight thousand tons at least.

She's riding low, sir.
That means she's still loaded.

Number three tube is operable, sir.

All we need is one shot.

This boat wasn't meant to be a virgin, sir.

Eight thousand tons.

Alright, let's go duck hunting.
Down scope.

- Load torpedo tube three.
- Load torpedo tube three.

- Bearing. Mark.
- Zero-two-six.

- Range. Mark.
- Two-three-double-oh.

Down scope.

Fire at 1700 yards.

Tube number three ready, sir.
Outer door closed.

Generated range: two-one-double-oh.

- Open outer door tube three.
- Open outer door tube three.

Open outer door tube three.

- Tube number three ready, sir.
- One-nine-double-oh.

Final range.

- Mark.
- One-eight-double-oh.

- Stand by tube three.
- Stand by tube three.

- Captain, it's time for your vitamin.
- Lieutenant, get below.

Damn it, get below!

Have I done anything wrong?

What happened, sir?

We sunk a truck!

Let's get the hell out of here!

Right full rudder.

- All ahead two thirds.
- Take her down to 100 feet.

23 December, 1941.

Sighted tanker, sank truck.

Today, for the first time in my life,
I came close to hitting a woman.

Perhaps I'm giving way to hysteria...

but can Lt. Crandall possibly
be a Japanese agent?

Thank heaven, tomorrow we'll be in Cebu and they'll be the Army's problem.

I'm sorry, Commander.
They are your problem.

I can't possibly take responsibility for those women...

not without the proper orders.

Couldn't we forget regulations just this once, Colonel?

Commander, any time the Japanese are ready, they can overrun this island.

We've been ordered to coordinate guerrilla action in the hills.

We may be up there for years.

Now, do you really want us to take those women?

We'll keep them.

Sir, we will have to go up to your Quartermaster in order to get these.

Supplies to make our repairs.

Supplies? Let me give you a picture of the situation...

this cigar... belonged to my aide, Captain Hopkins.

I stole it while he was sleeping.

No, everything worth saving around here has been taken up into the hills.

Can I can send some men into the hills then?

You couldn't get a paper clip with a requisition from the President.

Sir if we don't get these supplies we'll never get out of here.

Sorry, I wish I could help.

Alright.

Good luck, gentlemen!

- But Sir, we got to get these supplies!
- I know, I know.

Oh, sorry!

- Oh boy!
- Give him a hand.

Major, you and your... Friends will remain aboard.

Oh, Sir! Sir!

There's only one man to do the job, and you know who that is.

Yeah, yeah. I know.

Mr. Holden?

Yes, sir?

I'm restoring you to duty.

Yes, we got into some difficulties,
but I have to have those supplies.

It's quite a list, Sir.

I don't want to bore you with the problems of command, Mr. Holden,

because I doubt you'll ever have one.

It's inconsistent with that philosophy of yours, "every man for himself".

"Dog-eat-dog."
- Exactly.

The unfortunate thing about command though, Mr. Holden...

is that responsibilities outweigh the privileges.

If it was just myself that was concerned,
I would tell ya what to do with that list.

But my responsibility is this boat.

And to get her out of here I'd even make a pact with the devil.

- That's where I come in.
- That's right.

Unless you get these supplies, you may never get back to that girl with the railway stock.

- That's a pretty good argument.
- I thought it would convince you.

Okay.

Auxiliary induction gear,
generator coils, red lead... Ramon!

Hunkle!

Can we use this?

- A priming pump?
- Is that what it is?

Yes, Sir, worth a hundred fifty dollars.
- For this?

- Here's two hundred dollars.
- Oh, Sir, thanks.

What do you want
for that thing?

- Twenty.
- Here's twenty-five. Hunkle!

You'll have to get at the end of the line like the rest of the guys.

Yeah, but I've got the gray paint in the truck outside.

Twenty-four five-gallon cans.

What about the red lead?

Well, I got you eight cans.
That's all there is on the island.

That isn't half enough for the undercoat.
We need at least twenty.

Well, I can get you 12 cans of white lead.

We'll take'em.
How much for the whole bundle?

Won't take a nickel less than three hundred.

Three hundred? He certainly drives a hard bargain, doesn't he Hunkle?

Here's three hundred, and fifty dollars on the house. Kraus!

Unload the paint and steal the truck.

- Excuse me, sir.
- Wait a minute.

Sir, we don't have any money, how are we going to pay up if someone wins?

With those tables and those dealers?

Mastered inverted reducing valve.

Two hundred and fifty dollars.

Next!

What you have you got, son?

Carry on.

31 December, 1941.

Lt. Holden has reached new heights in the art of scavenging.

Like a spider in a web, he sits there...

And his victims come to him like flies bearing gifts.

He is the only man I know...

who will probably be presented the Navy Cross at his court martial.

- Chief, this is a terrible color.
- It makes me kind of sick.

More canned fish.

Yeah. What a way to celebrate New Year's Eve.

Sir...

We're mixing that red lead and that white lead, like you said,

but I don't think you're going to like it.

We don't have much choice, Mol.

We haven't enough of either one to do the whole job, so we got to mix'em.

That's a pretty strange color to be painting government property.

Don't let it throw you, Mo.

- We're going to color gray anyway.
- Yes, sir.

Mr. Holden wasn't at the casino.

Mr. Stovall...

...hereafter you will please refer to the casino as the... Supply Depot.

Where did he go?

Well, he and Hunkle took off in the truck,
They're not expected back until late.

Boy, that casino is really...

I mean...

There seems to be a lot of activity at the... Supply... Depot... Sir.

Hunkle, did you see what I saw?

I don't know, sir.
What?

Come on.

- That's New Year's dinner.
- That?

But we're going to
shop around a little bit.

Come on.

What do we do?

No, that's not quite right.

The white one!

Now, that's what I call a pig.

Alright. I'm gonna go around the back.
You go in the front and distract him. Sshh...

How, how?

- Talk pig talk to him.
- How do you talk pig talk?

Didn't you talk pig when you were a kid?

- Oooink... Oooink...
- Oooink...

That's too high.
Lower, deeper, from the throat.

No... Too deep.

That's, too deep...
Now, right in the middle.

Now with affection.

Okay, call the pig.

There he is.

Get behind him. Behind him!

Hurry!

Open the gate!

Open!
Open the gate, come on!

- Come on!
- Looks like a wheelbarrow.

Come on, Hunkle, grab him!

Lift him up!

Grab him!

Get in! Get in!

- Grab it!
- Alright.

What are they stopping for?

It's a roadblock.
What are we going to do?

I don't know.

Let's take a look. Cover us, Bayle.

- They're shooting looters, you know?
- I know. Let's not panic. Let's not panic.

What about the pig?

- What pig?
- What pig? This pig!

- I don't see any pig.
- You don't see any pig?

Take off your coat.

- Take off my coat?
- Take off your coat.

Are you out of...

Put it on the pig.

- Put it on the pig??
- Put it on the pig!

- Do you have a cap? Do you have a cap?
- Yes, sir.

Take it off!

Give me the cap! Give it to me!

Hold him!

Stay here, Bill, and
keep me covered.

- Good evening, Corporal.
- What are you doing out here?

I'm Lieutenant Holden, off the "Sea Tiger". We're tied up for repairs.

We were out trying to locate some spare diesel parts.

What is that?

That's Seaman Hornsby.
How are you feeling, Seaman Hornsby?

- He's not too well.
- What's the matter with him?

Well, he drinks...

"Gilly juice" you know?
The alcohol from the torpedoes.

Easy, sailor. I think we're going to have to get him back to the boat.

If anything happens to him we're in an awful lot of trouble.

You see, he's the only radio operator we have.

- Easy, Hornsby.
- He doesn't look too good at that.

- No.
- You'd better let us take him to the hospital.

No, no. That's not necessary.
You see, we have a doctor on board.

- Well, you'd better get this man to your doctor.
- All right. Thank you.

- Happy New Year, Corporal.
- Let them pass.

- Who were they?
- Three sailors off of a sub.

Guy named Hornsby was sick,
you should have seen him.

Now I know why they call them submarines, "pig boats".

Man, he was the ugliest.

Oh, Captain...

There's a couple of Army MPs out here that want to see you.

- MPs?
- MPs.

Okay, okay.

Sir, this man claims that your men stole a pig from his farm.

The biggest one he had, and drove off in a truck;...

The only truck that passed us tonight was headed for this boat.

Oh, that's ridiculous, Corporal. None
of my men would...

- Is Lieutenant Holden back?
- I do not know, sir.

Who?
Corporal.

- Good evening, sir.
- Watson.

Lt. Holden was one of the men on the
truck. He had two other men with him...

A Hunkle and Seaman Hornsby.

Seaman Hornsby?

Yes, sir, he was drunk. They were bringing him back to the boat.

Where is Seaman Hornsby?

- He's not feeling too well, sir.
- I didn't ask you that. Where is he?

- He's been drinking.
- Where is he?

In the officer's head.

Just a minute.

Well, the man is right.
Undoubtedly his pig was stolen.

You might as well admit it,
Mr. Holden ;...

When Hornsby runs wild there's no telling what he might do.

He behaves like a perfect swine.

Look, Corporal, he's in no condition to be reprimanded tonight...

but I can assure you that tomorrow he's in for a good roasting!

I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid we'll have to take him in.

Now wait a minute, Corporal.

Sometimes there is a reason for drinking...

You see, Hornsby's been picked for a dangerous assignment...

and there is not much chance that he will come through it alive.

- Gee, I...
- I knew you would understand.

If this man want to drop the charges...

I'm sure something can be arranged.
How much is the pig worth?

He won't take American money with the Japanese coming.

One moment. Your pig's isn't down there. Hey...

If you won't take American money I don't see how we are going to...

You like that?

You would like to have that?

Okay.

I do not understand very well, we'll see.

I think he's trying to say, he likes the bag.
You like the bag?

Good leather, but he doesn't know what to do about those things.

- Well, we can make a deal.
- But sir, that was a gift...

- from the admiral's wife.
- Public Relations. Fair enough?

He said that his pig is worth more.

No. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

- You couldn't possibly...
- See if you like this.

- But sir, you can't. I have...
- Do you like?

Sir, I need that for my tennis shoulder.

- Your tennis shoulder?
- Yes.

Well, we can take care of that.

Now you don't need it for your tennis shoulder. Now, what about it?

- Oh, yes.
- What did he say?

He said that his pig weighed two hundred pounds.

- And it is not enough.
- I see. That's it, yes.

- It's a shame.
- Just a minute. Get back.

Let's see here.

Yes, this.

Sir, that's solid silver.

Still not enough?
Let's look here...

Oh, these!

Non-regulation!

Saks Fifth Avenue.

Good?

Yeah... That's fine.
Put it on your face.

Zapatos!

- Shoes. Yes.
- Not my zapatos. Sir, please.

- These are your dancing shoes, aren't they?
- Yes.

Do you like to dance?

Dance?

He likes to dance, perfect.
Is that enough?

Goodbye. Here, just a moment.

Here's gift for you.
That's to go with the shoes, a little bonus.

Salamat!

Well.

Very thoughtful of you to throw a dinner for the men, Mr holden.

I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

I suggest you get Seaman Hornsby out of uniform and help him to the galley.

Salamat...

Salamat...

So am I.

Yes, they're drafting everybody these days.

Pink!

Twenty-five years I've been in the Navy...

I ain't never seen nothing like this.

A pink submarine.

All right, you guys, you have three hours to have a Happy New Year.

But at 17:00 every man on this crew starts painting her gray!

This pork is great. Aren't you going to have any, sir?

No, Hornsby and I have been through too much together.

- Can I talk to you for a minute Captain?
- Yes, Major.

It's about Dolores. I can't get her to come up here.

She feels you'd rather she didn't.

Now, she tried to apologize, but you won't even talk to her.

- She feels you've been avoiding her.
- Only in self-defense.

She's scared to death of you.

It's New Year's, Captain.

The poor girl is down there all by herself.

It would be nice if you would go down and invite her up here.

All right, Major, I'll extend a personal invitation.

Isn't this a lovely shade of pink.

Please ma'am, I'm trying to eat.

- Throw me a pickle.
- The first time I met her...

- Mr. Tostin, you know I was...
- Chief.

I was thinking that if you cross connect the engine cooling system...

and the mufflers that you could drown out those sparks.

The engine cooling system and the mufflers?

Are you crazy?

Hey, you know that might work.

Hey, you want a piece of pig, Major?

Thank you.

- Oh, Captain.
- What?

I've looked up and down this boat and I can't find Mr. Holden.

- Or Barbara, er, Lieutenant Duran.
- No kidding!

- And number three life raft is missing.
- Well, fancy that!

- Well, if they're gone and the number three raft is gone...
- Watson, now listen to me....

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?

Because up there the boys would say you're trying to make your point the hard way.

See, when a girl is under twenty one she is protected by law.

When she is over sixty five,
she is protected by nature.

Any where in between...
she's fair game.

Look out...

- May I come in?
- Yes, of course.

Why aren't you at the party?

well, I really didn't think that you wanted me there.

I mean, I'd probably do something else wrong..

And you'd be just more angry with me.

Captain, you may not believe this

but all of those things that happened were accidents.

Oh, I'm sure they were.

Lieutenant, if I've been short-tempered with you I want to apologize...

My only excuse is that things haven't been going too well with us and I'm a bit edgy.

Now... Why don't you finish your hair and I'll sit here and wait for you?

We'll both go up together and celebrate.

- Is that all right?
- It's wonderful.
- Good.

Let's forget everything that happened and start the New Year off right.

You could... Ahhhh!

- You'll make a wonderful father.
- Father?

- When you get married.
- Oh oh, of course!

Genetically you have very dominant characteristics...

Really?

- Dark hair, blue eyes.
- What is this?

Three out of every four children will look like you.

- I know it won't be easy.
- What won't be easy?

- Well at first, till we get settled.
- But...

- But I'll help.
- Help?

With the expenses.
I'll get a job.

- Expenses?
- Yes.

Barbara, I'm engaged to be married.

Now, Barbara, don't be hasty. Let me explain.

It's a very simple thing to explain...

- You see, I've known this girl for quite a while and I...
- Get away!

- But I just thought I had to tell you, now...
- Get away from me!

You're not listening.

- I'm going back to the boat!
- Don't go!

- Back to the boat!
- I can explain everything!

- I'm going back to the boat!
- Please listen, apart from...

Barbara, wait! There are
women-eating sharks!

Barbara!

Barbara, wait a minute!

I don't think it's serious, sir, but,
shouldn't one of the nurses look at it?

- Just bandage it, Dooley.
- Yes, sir.

Happy new year!

Barbara!

Barbara! Will you...?

Barbara, will you get back in the raft?
Will you get in the raft?

Stop following me!

Barbara!

I wish you'd try to understand.

What if I did say I loved you?
What if we got married?

I'm poor. You're poor.
All we'd get is poor children.

- Honestly I really don't think I should go to the party.

- Oh yes, yes you should. I demand that you do.

Well, you don't have to go just for me.

I can't think of anyone else I'd do it for;
It's become sort of a need, it's compulsive.

- That's very kind of you.
- Yes, isn't it?

- What I mean is that you're such a gentleman.

- Oh, yes, that sort of comes as a surprise to me, too.

Barbara!

Barbara, will you...

Will you listen to me?

Barbara!

Barbara, it's tiring rowing this way,
will you wait?

Barbara!

Barbara, you are a beautiful and intelligent girl,
you should really marry a wealthy man.

I'm no good for you,
you don't want to marry me.

Actually, I'm doing you a big favor.

- Don't do me any more favors mister, ever.
- Barbara, dear, would you just...

- Oh shut up!
- Barbara!

Barbara!

Air raid! Man your stations!

- Air Raid!
- Clear the deck!

Clear the deck! Get those women below on the double!

Let's get underway!

Ready in all respects to get underway, sir.

Okay, I'll take the con.

- Strike four.
- Strike four.

Strike three.

Drop two.

Hey, hey, wait a minute,
what's going on here?

- Mr. Holden promised the dealers, sir.
- Promised them what?

Well, you see, Sir, if they helped us out,

we'd take the women and children off the island.

- Most of the women are pregnant.
- Yes, sir. Any minute now, sir.

Isn't it lucky for us that we have the nurses aboard?

I'm running a submarine, not a maternity ward!

What's that thing doing here, that goat?

It's for the children, sir.
They'll need fresh milk.

I don't care, get them off the boat!

Aircraft, port quarter!
Closing!

- One moment.
- Lieutenant promised...

Go on, get them off!

Here they come. Get down!

Ramon, take some of these women forward.

Get these kids down.

Come here.

Give me the goat.

Come on, goat.

Give me a hand.

Somebody take the kid!

- Starboard back two thirds.
- Starboard back two thirds.

I knew it, I'm dead.

Cherry.

- Clear the bridge!
- Clear the bridge!

- Number One.
- Number Two.

- Number Three.
- Number Four.

Number Five.

Isn't there some way we can sneak back to Cebu and pick up that gray paint?

No, there isn't.

But a pink submarine.
What if somebody sees us? It's embarrassing.

Mr. Stovall, does she have to be up here?

Ramon said she would give more milk if she got some fresh air, Sir.

It's a boy!

Congratulations, sir!

3 January, 1942.

21:30.

Born to Mrs. Manuel Garcia... a boy.

22:55.

Mrs. Ceferino Vincenzo has gone into labor.

The whole crew are acting like expectant fathers;...

Seaman Fox is even having sympathetic labor pains.

- Cheer up, Fox, it will all be over soon.
- Yes, Sir.

Diapers.

- For the baby, sir.
- Really?

Got you.

Yes, you got me, Harmon, now what?

Excuse me, Sir, I was just playing blind man's buff with the kids.

- Fine, carry on.
- Yes, Sir.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Okay.

- What do you know?
- Okay.

Okay.

- Can I go through there?
- There's a woman in labor.

Yes, I know that, but I got
to go to the engine room.

- If you do not mind.
- I don't mind, come on.

- Everything all right?
- Okay, okay, everything okay.

Tostin!

Tostin!

Me and the Major were just taking some measurements, sir.

Would you care to explain that?

Fuel oil transfer pump.

Engine room.
Is the Captain there?

- What is it, Stovall?
- Kraus has the radio receiving, Sir.

I'll be right up.

It looks like you was right, Edna.

We'll need some high pressure piping.

We can get it in the forward torpedo room.

Yes, that's right.
I'll get it, Sam.

You're quite a girl, Edna.

We picked up "Tokyo Rose", sir.

Before our next number, I have a message for the crew of that pink submarine

cruising somewhere in the Celebes Sea.

Fellows, start the New Year off right.

Surrender.

We don't know what you're up to, but it won't work.

All you've done painting your sub pink is make it easier for us to find you.

So, why die, boys?

And now an appropriate number.

What do you think, sir?

Well, we've got nothing to worry about.

Their side knows and our side knows.

There's probably some of our ships out looking for us now.

We've just checked with British,
Australian, and Dutch naval units, Sir.

- They have no pink submarines.
- And it's certainly not one of ours.

Intelligence feels the "Tokyo Rose" broadcast is a decoy

so they can slip one of their own subs through.

Well, this is one trick they won't get away with.

Notify all Allied naval units:

Any unidentified submarine, pink or otherwise, is to be sunk on sight.

- Sir.
- What?

A destroyer off the starboard bow.

It's one of ours.

How do you want to contact them, Sir?
Our radio still isn't transmitting

Visually. Get Harmon to the conning tower. Stand by to surface.

Submarine surfacing port bow!

It's that pink sub!

- Surface action port!
- Surface action port!

- Fire when ready!
- Fire when ready!

Holy mackerel! Take her down!
Express!

Take her down express!

Establish sonar contact.

All engines ahead full. Stand by to fire depth charges.

Stand by to fire depth charges.

They're coming in for the kill, sir.

Rig for depth charges.
Silent running.

Excuse me.

Flooding on number two periscope.

Flooding number two periscope, sir.

Clear the conning tower.

- Clear the conning tower.
- Clear the conning tower.

Clearing below.

- Get on up to the sound gear and report developments.

- Yes, sir.

They don't have to hit us, sir.
They're going to shake us apart.

All stop.

All stop.

It's twins!

One of each!

Captain, Sonar says they're picking up something that sounds like babies crying.

That's what they say, sir.

- Stay on that sound.
- Stay on that sound.

They may have a weapon we know nothing about.

You gotta keep the babies quiet.
Captain's orders..

- What do you suggest we do?
- You are nurses. Make them stop.

- How?
- What is so difficult about keeping babies quiet?

Suppose, you try.

I can't. I got to go back to the... control...

- Here, why don't you try this one?
- Certainly.

Thank you.

You'll be a wonderful father.

Don't bother volunteering.
He's already engaged.

To the Super Chief.

Hunkle, get all these pillows and blankets.

- What's up, Chief?

- The Skipper is trying to convince them we're sinking.

We're sending up an oil slick and everything that isn't tied down.

- Give us a hand, Dooley.
- Alright.

Excuse me, ladies.

- All these life jackets, Sir?
- Yeah, you might as well. Throw them in.

Tube three ready to fire, sir.

Captain, look!

We've sunk them.

Maybe.

Or they could be pulling a fast one.

- Continue depth charges.
- Continue depth charges.

I guess they're not buying it.

They got your girdle, Edna.

That's all right, Sam.

You know? I spent a lot of years disliking women.

But I don't dislike you.

Don't you?

You are different.

You're not a woman.

You're more than that.

You're a mechanic.

Thank you, Sam.

This has to happen just when somebody comes up with an idea how I can go home.

- What idea, Hunkle?
- Lieutenant Reid, sir.

- She figured out what I can do about Gertie.
- Yes?

- Just tattoo panties and a bra on her.
- Oh, that's nice.

Panties and a bra.

Panties and...

Sir, we've been sending up the wrong stuff!

This is the Captain.

Nurses will return to their quarters and take off...

their undergarments.

Mr. Holden will be right there to collect them.

Here.

Okay, lock it up.

Captain, off the port bow.
More debris.

That's debris?

Stand by with the grappling hook!

Come on, get that thing up here!

Come on, come on!

The Japanese have nothing like this.

Cease fire!

Captain, this is going to be terrible.

We should have come in at night.

I'm afraid it's too late, Chief.
We're already committed.

- Fall in.
- Yes, sir.

All right.
Fall in!

Sir, we're never going to live this down.

We may be pink and coming in by the grace of a woman's brassiere, but we're coming in.

- Show the colors!
- Show the colors!

Admiral.

The Captain's arriving, sir.
And we're ready get underway.

Thank you, Chief.

Chief, will you drive Mrs. Holden and the boys back? Thank you.

Bye, baby.

- Bye, darling.
- Bye, boys.

Attention on deck!

Carry on.

- Good morning, Admiral.
- Morning, Captain.

- Any last-minute reprieve?
- Oh, no go.

- I sure hate to be the one who have to take her out and junk her.

- Yeah, I know.... I know.

Well, there's a new atomic sub coming off the ways in about a month...

It's the same name, "Sea Tiger".
She's your next command.

That's great. Thank you, sir.

Oh, and here's something else for you.

- Did you put everything here?
- Yeah, everything.

- But I feel it will be in safer hands now.
- You know it will.

I suggest you don't show it to your children until they're old enough to understand.

- All right, Nick, take her away.
- Yes, Sir.

- Hey, by the way, where is my wife?
- I don't know. She never showed.

Attention on deck!

Okay, Jack. Let's shove off.
Aye aye, sir.

- Take in the brow!
- Take in all lines!

- Hi Uncle Matt.
- Hello! Hello Tommy, hello Tony, how are you?

Well, what happened to her?

We waited as long as we could and finally had to take a cab.

Oh, that must be her.

Yes, that's her.

Hey driver!
The bumpers are hooked!

Hey!
Hey, stop!

Hey driver!

Hey, stop!

Oh, Darling, I'm terribly sorry.

- I don't how it happened? I stepped on the brake...
- Leave it. Never mind.

- Yes, but your car...
- Yes, I know, dear. Well, don't worry...

they'll stop it at the gate.

Strange, still that number one engine...

I guess they were never able to fix that.