All language subtitles for Younger.S03E02.The.Marshmallow.Experiment.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

- I've got a proposition.

Meet me at the Carlyle
tonight at 9:00.

- You're gonna kiss him again.
I know you.

- I'm so sorry
about last night.

I just want you to know--

- It was just a kiss, Liza.
Let it go.

- Nobody at work knows this,
but I'm 40.

- I'm gonna sign with Millennial
on one condition:

I use you as a case study.

[upbeat music]

* *

[phone dings]

* *

- [chuckles]

[phone dings]

* *

- Yeah, that's the--exactly.
That's the same issue.

Yes.

- Morning.

- Well, it's all open
for discussion.

Okay, that's his people
calling me now.

I'll try you back
from the office.

I'll be there in five.

Hello? Hi, yes. Charles.

[indie rock music]

* *

- You are being blogged and
podcasted

everywhere that matters.

Oh, and we've got you listicled

on Buzzfeed and Refinery29.

By Wednesday, there won't be
a millennial

who hasn't heard, read,
or socially transmitted

"The Deciding Decade."

- And we were saving
the best news for last.

Ellen's producer said Ellen read

the advanced copy and loved it.

- Love her.
- Fantastic.

- There's one little hitch.

She really responded
to the chapter

where your 40-year-old patient
pretends to be

a 26-year-old assistant.

So, she'll have you on the show

if you bring that
patient with you.

- And reveal her identity
on national television?

- That's impossible--that would
be totally unethical.

- Not if the patient agrees.

- It would be
such incredible publicity.

That--maybe I could
reach out and ask.

- Why would the patient consent?

I mean, wasn't
she promised anonymity?

- Well, she's clearly
an opportunist.

- More like a sociopath.
- Yeah.

Shaving one or two years off
your age is one thing,

but living a double life?

That is a very
disturbed individual.

- Well--[scoffs],
in the chapter, she said

that she applied for a lot of
jobs as a 40-year-old,

and got turned down every time,
so she had to find

a way around this
institutionalized ageism.

- I don't see ageism,
I see someone

who stepped out of the industry
and paid the price.

She probably wasn't hired
because she doesn't have

the skills or talent.

- Well, I can certainly
reach out to her.

- I think it's risky.

Staking the campaign
of Millennial's first book

on a con artist?

I bet you make
the deal with Ellen,

and that lunatic sues us.

- Oh, my God.
We can't chance that.

- We'll keep working
and get in touch soon.

- All right.
Thank you, Charles.

- Our pleasure.

Get on the ball.
Pre-orders are dismal.

- Excuse me?

I'm still here.

- Moving on.

Where are we on
"P is for Pigeon"?

- It's gone to copy editing.
[phone buzzing]

The early buzz on GoodReads
has been great.

And I sent an advanced copy

to Anthony Lane at
"The New Yorker."

What on God's green earth
is so important?

- Have I been unclear about
devices in the conference room?

- I always keep it face down,
except--

- Face down or put away,
that's the policy.

We're done.
Thank you.

- I haven't seen him
in a mood like this

since his wife left.

Something is really
under his skin.

[upbeat music]

*

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Um, I'm making
a Juice Press run.

Can I get you anything?

- Uh, no, thanks.
I'm good.

- Uh, look, I know I might be

misreading the situation,
but are you okay?

With me?
- What?

- I just want you to know

that I think you're amazing,

and I--I just--
I feel so lucky

and so grateful
to be working here,

and I just--

not even a cucumber
coconut water?

- No, I'm fine. Really, I am.

Uh, company,
that's another story.

- Oh?
- There might have to be

some changes around here.

- What kind of changes?

- I'm sorry.
I'm late for a meeting.

Don't worry about it.

[phone dings]

*

- God, I hope I don't
lose my job.

- You wouldn't have to
lie anymore.

- Yeah, and Caitlin wouldn't
have to go to college anymore.

- I mean, I can help
with tuition.

My business is doing really
great these days, so--

- I would never let you do that.

But I can't tell you
how much that means to me.

- Yeah, well, I'm kind of crazy
about the mom.

*

Ah, I've missed that.

- Mm, me too.

- So want to go back
to my place?

I changed the sheets today.

- Josh, are you familiar with
the marshmallow experiment?

- Yeah, where you try to see

how many you can fit
in your mouth at once?

- No, it's, um--
it's this parenting thing.

Children were given
one marshmallow

and told that they could
eat it immediately,

or they could wait 15 minutes,

and get two marshmallows.
- What?

Why would anybody
do that to a kid?

I mean, it's--that's torture.
- I know.

But anyway, they followed the
kids for like 20 years,

and they found out that
the ones that could

delay gratification had better
life outcomes.

Higher self-reported happiness.

- Okay, um...

so who's the marshmallow
in this scenario?

Am I the marshmallow?

- Actually, I'm the marshmallow.

- Oh.

So you want to take it slow,
huh?

- I need more time.

- I get it.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

I am still gonna
walk you home, though, so...

'Cause I'm a gentleman.

[rock music]

[speaking foreign language]

- Oh, Kelsey. Hey.
- Hi, Chad.

- Ah!
- Hi.

- [groaning]
- Okay. Oh. Ah.

So, uh, what's so important?

[speaking foreign language]

- Wow, you speak Chinese?

- Um, just a couple dialects
of Mandarin.

- Wow. I'm impressed.

- I volunteered
on a clean water project

in Gansu and kind of
picked it up.

But languages are my jam.

- What about the password
to Thad's computer?

I've got to change
his profile pic.

- Oh, yeah. That.
Sorry.

These passwords are really
hard to crack.

But if it's any consolation,

wow, your tongue looks really
healthy in that photo.

Sorry. [nervous chuckle]

Here, maybe you'll have
better luck.

- Thanks.

- Kelsey, I--
I don't know how to say this,

so I'm just gonna come out
and say it.

- Whoa. Oh, my God.
What are you doing?

- I know.

It's a little soon, but...

My parents would like
the engagement ring back.

It's a family heirloom.

- Are you serious?
- Of course.

I--I could show you photos

of my great-grandmother
wearing that ring.

- No. No, it's...[sighs].

It's fine.

- Sorry to be the one just...

bringing you all this
bad news.

You know, let me make it
up to you.

Let's get out of the city
this weekend.

Fishers Island.

I already have
ferry reservations,

and we could just talk
everything out,

and finally just...

be.

- Chad?

We are never going to "Be"
anything.

Ever.

Do you understand that?

- What, so--
so you're just gonna act like

the--the barn at Gary's wedding
never happened?

- How do you know about me and
Thad in that barn?

- Thad?

Come on, you know
that was me.

- What?

- You said you loved me.

- Because I thought
that you were Thad.

- That was the game
we were playing.

But you knew. Come on.
- I did not know!

- Look me in the eye and say
you don't think of me

every time you sit on a big,
fat bale of hay.

- [gagging]

You know what?
Take your stupid ring back.

Don't call me,
don't text me,

and stop tagging me
in funny memes.

They're not funny!

[speaking foreign language]

- Ah.
[laughing]

- Okay, you're not going
to believe this.

- Oh, hey, Lauren.
- Uch.

Kelsey just texted me that she
slept with Chad.

- What?
- Wait, wait.

That's the twin, right?
- Yes, and apparently,

he banged her all over

some barn in Great Barrington.

- What, last night?
- No, dude. Years ago.

He pretended to be Thad.

- Oh, my God.
- I know, dude.

He Houdini-ed her.

- No, that's not Houdini-ing.

Houdini-ing is when someone has
sex with you from behind,

then someone else steps in,
and then the original person

waves to you from
the bedroom window.

- Oh, my God.
You know everything. You do.

You're like Sexipedia.

- Is Kelsey all right?
- Oh, yeah, no. She'll be fine.

And now that she has
Thad's laptop,

she never has to see Chad again.

- She has Thad's laptop?
- Oh, yeah, no.

I'ma help her get into it.

You know, it's the least
I can do

since she's been twinned.

- No, "Twinned" is two girls
and the same dildo.

- What? Really? Twinned?

[gasps] Oh, my God.
Why do I doubt?

- [laughs]
- Why have we not done that?

You know, I got to go to work.
I will see you kids later.

- Mwah.

- Did you hear that?

It's only a matter of time
before Kelsey

gets into that laptop
and finds out everything.

- Wait, what are you gonna do?

- I got to tell her.

And it's better that
she hears it from me first.

I'm just gonna do it--
I'm gonna go in there

and rip off the Band-Aid.

- "Ripping off the Band-Aid"
is when two guys--

- I don't want to know.

- Good luck.

Ooh.

[rock music]

*

[knocking on door]

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Lauren told me about
the Chad situation.

Are you okay?

- The whole thing
is just so gross.

I wonder if Thad knew.

He couldn't have, right?
- Uh...

- I mean, I always brown out
at weddings, but...

- You mean drink too much,
right?

- Yeah--wait,
what do you think I--

- No, nothing. Just that.

- Okay.
- What are you doing?

- I'm trying to guess
this password.

It gave me a hint:
"Kelsey's favorite snack."

I tried banana chips,
chocolate covered almonds.

And no luck.
I'm gonna just--

I've got to hire a computer
expert or something.

- Are you sure?

I mean, there could be a lot of
iffy stuff on there.

- This is all
I have left of him.

For better or for worse,
it's all right here.

- Hi, uh, there is
a potential investor

stopping by the office
in about ten minutes.

Could you two be prepared
to talk about Millennial?

Something short, like a--

an elevator pitch?

- Yeah, sure.
- Absolutely, yeah.

- It's important.

Uh, but casual.

But important.

*

- Liza!

*

We must really be on the ropes
if Charles is

springing a visit
like this on us.

Had I known, I would have worn
something less whimsical.

- Okay, this is from the
"Forbes" billionaires list.

Bryce Reiger, 26.

Founded Tap That, a digital
wallet app in 2014.

I'll make sure to download it
on your phone.

- Hmm, looks like another
Silicon Valley whiz kid

throwing his money around.

While his friends buy islands,
he buys prestige

by saving a century-old
publishing house.

- Oh, look.
He owns an island too.

- If old media is so dead,

why is new media
always trying to buy us?

- Oh, that must be him.

- Where?

Oh, my...

- So, are the any new
"Crown of Kings" coming out?

I love "Crown of Kings."

Besides "Twilight,"
it's the top-selling

four-installment book series
of all time,

with 106 million units.

Uh, 25.4 million for
"Rise of Kings,"

28.1 for "Clash of Kings,"

17.8 for "Ghosts of Kings"--
that was the worst one--

and 34.7 million
for "King of Kings."

- You certainly know
your "Crown of Kings."

This is our head of marketing,
Diana Trout.

- It's easy for me
to memorize stuff.

I'm a little on the spectrum.

That's why your perfume is so
offensive to me.

Not offensive, just, uh,
pungent and repulsive.

- I beg your pardon?

- [sniffs]

Definitely smelling secretion
of beaver anus.

- What?
- Otherwise known as castoreum.

It's a common ingredient
in many commercial perfumes.

- This is Givenchy.
So--

- Said the beaver to his anus.

- Why don't we continue this
conversation at dinner?

- I will go shower.

- Since our imprint curates
exclusive content

for millennial readers, we're
excited to launch

our first title:

"The Deciding Decade:

Making Your Twenties Matter."

- The eBook will hyperlink
to the author's

genre-leading podcast
and all social platforms.

And for print, we're using
biodegradable ink

on 100% recycled,
fair-trade paper.

- Yes. I like all that.

Tap that.

Uh, don't your people
use Tap That?

- Of course we do.

[dinging]

- So you just gave her money?

- I gave her recognition
and affirmation.

And ten American dollars, yes.

- I love your tattoo.

- Oh, thank you.

- Yeah, are those ants?

- They are termites.

- That's revolting.

And so fascinating.

- Termites are one of
the most adaptable

species on the planet.

They live in every climate,

they've survived every epoch,

and they produce
so much hydrogen that

the Department of Energy
considers them

a potential renewable
fuel source.

They're miraculous.

- They also eat feces,
but I'm sure you're aware.

- I--I think I recognize
the artist.

Is it Kori Hurami?

- How did you know that?

- I have a really close friend
who knows him.

He and Kori shared a studio for
a while in Kanagawa.

- You're friends with Josh
from Inkburg?

- Josh is Liza's boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend.
Not to rub it in.

- Well, uh, not so ex,
anymore, actually.

- What?
- Uh, yeah.

We're trying
to figure things out.

- Josh's work is just stunning.

I mean, it silences me
every time I see it.

He's a real artist.

- Yeah, he really is.

[dance music]

*

- Thank you.
- Good night.

- Have a good night.

- Have a good one.
- We'll be in touch.

That went well,
thanks to our millennials.

- Well, it was a group effort.

[phones dinging]

Oh, God, noses in their
phones already.

- Good night.

I'll see everyone
in the morning.

- Night.
- Good night.

- I'm going uptown too.

- Taxi?

- Are we about to go to
a billionaire's loft party?

- Yes, please.

I may even find a computer nerd

to help me crack open
Thad's laptop.

- You have the laptop with you?
- Yes.

[dance music]

*

[cheering]

- Your place is incredible.
- What is that thing?

- Ah, that is a thermodynamic
decelerator.

Yeah, the software engineers
are using it

to launch blocks of ice
into the pool to see

how much ice it takes
to lower the temperature

of the water one degree.

- Okay. Why?

- What else are
you gonna do with

a thermodynamic decelerator?

Right?

Oh, please. Help yourself.

- Oh, Tequila?

- Condensed water.

For maximum hydration.

Your cells will thank you.

Uh, is there anything else
I can get you?

- Actually, um,
I was wondering

if anyone here could help me get
into this old laptop?

It's a friend's.
He forgot the password.

- Yeah. No problem.
Uh, find Lin.

- No problem.

*

- Oh, is that something
healthy too?

- No, it's cocaine.

For the models.

Unless you want some.

- No.
- No?

- I just want to tell you both
how glad I am

that you're part of Empirical.

People can't always tell
when I'm glad,

because I'm a little
on the spectrum,

but I'm really glad.

- We are really glad
too, Bryce.

- Yeah, I was worried that
a publishing house,

especially one as old
as Empirical,

would be nothing but relics
like Charles and Diana,

but you two get it--
you get that

we are literally on the cusp
of being able

to do this...

with a book.

And you've read it.

- That's a book of photographs.

- Bottom line:
if it wasn't for you two,

and a need for some enormous
taxable losses,

I wouldn't even bother
with Empirical.

But with you?

I sense a paradigm shift.

Provided you're as committed
to the future as I am.

- Ah--
- Are you?

- Hell yes!
- Absolutely!

- All right. Tap that.

- Oh.

[dinging]

Ah, it was a big one!

- Ah, Lin. There you are.

We need your, uh,
code-cracking powers.

This is Kelsey and Liza.
This is Lin.

Excuse me for a moment.

I'm sure Lin can get your laptop
open in a few minutes.

- [scoffs] Minutes?
I'm insulted.

Let me see it.
- Oh.

* *

What if he's got stuff about
other girls on there?

Like, weird videos?

- Kelsey, you don't have to open
it if you don't want to.

- But there could be some really
sweet, meaningful stuff.

- All done.
- Seriously?

- I know, I was hoping for
more of a challenge too.

- I'm really nervous.

- I'm right here.

Whatever we find out,
we find out together.

- I'll give you some privacy.

- Wait, Lin.
What was the password?

- "Deez nuts."

- "Deez nuts"?

That's my favorite snack?
- Are they like Grape Nuts?

- What are Grape Nuts?

- He's saying his nuts

are my favorite snack.

- Meaning his balls.

- Ew.
- [sighs]

You know what?

I'm done.

Deez nuts are the last
secret of Thad's

that I needed to know about.

Hey, do me a favor.

Launch this into
the pool for me.

- Seriously? Excellent.

* *

[all cheering]

Rest in peace, Thad.

Let's get out of here.

*

I'm so glad that computer's
not haunting me anymore.

- [chuckles]

- It's like
I can finally breathe.

- Ah, I know what you mean.

I mean, um,
I'm so happy for you.

- I am so happy for you!

But why didn't you tell me
you and Josh were back together?

- Honestly, it's not all
really resolved.

- Well, he did mess up
not including you

in that "T Magazine" thing.

Did he apologize for that?

- Yeah.

- And he's ready to have
your relationship

out in the open?

- There is nothing
he would like more

than an open,
honest relationship.

But sometimes you can't be

100% honest.

- Is that like a herpes thing?

- What?
No!

- I know it seems impossible,

but he could be gone
just like that.

So if you love him,

just be with him.

[indie rock music]

- Good morning, everyone.

I have an announcement to make.

I'm very happy to tell you that
I just received word

that we have a new
minority partner.

Bryce Reiger.

[applause]

And let's have a very special
round of applause

for Kelsey and Liza.

They really helped
seal the deal.

[cheers and applause]

[phone dinging]

- [chuckles]

[upbeat music]

*

- Hi.

* *

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey.

Maybe it's your turn to wait.

- I've got all the marshmallows.

- Yeah, well...

I got the stick.

*

- Mm!

- * Marshmallow

* Marshmallow

[upbeat music]

* *