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1
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,934
- [alarm ringing]
- [Lucas Lee gasps]
2
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,227
[exhales]
3
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,692
[classical music playing]
4
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,445
[exhales]
5
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,454
[grunts]
6
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:47,756
{an8}[music continues, intensifies]
7
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,883
{an8}[narrator] Glendale, California.
8
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:51,468
- [music halts]
- [lights switch on]
9
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:56,139
[footsteps echoing]
10
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:57,223
Hmm.
11
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,730
Hmm.
12
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,066
Ah.
13
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,195
[dramatic swell]
14
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,407
- ♪ Whatever ♪
- [grunts]
15
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:17,160
["United States of Whatever"
by Liam Lynch playing]
16
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,496
♪ I went down to the beach and saw Kiki ♪
17
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,040
♪ She was all like, "Ehh"
And I'm like, whatever ♪
18
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:25,418
[grunts]
19
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,587
♪ Then this chick comes up to me
And she's all like ♪
20
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,732
♪ "Hey, aren't you that dude?"
And I'm like, yeah, whatever ♪
21
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:30,756
[grunts]
22
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:36,179
♪ So later, I'm at the pool hall
And this girl comes up ♪
23
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,598
♪ And she's all like, "Aww"
And I'm like, yeah, whatever ♪
24
00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:39,557
[grunting]
25
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:40,725
[twirling]
26
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:44,270
♪ 'Cause this is my
United States of Whatever ♪
27
00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:46,481
[Lucas Lee grunts]
28
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:50,151
♪ And this is my
United States of Whatever ♪
29
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,821
[chuckles]
30
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:56,241
♪ And this is my
United States of Whatever ♪
31
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,244
- Huh?
- [women] Lucas!
32
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,747
♪ And then it's 3 a.m.
I'm on the corner wearing my leather ♪
33
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:06,209
♪ And this dude comes up and he's like
"Hey, punk!" I'm like, yeah, whatever ♪
34
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,669
[cheering]
35
00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:08,837
Lucas.
36
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,714
♪ Then I'm throwing dice in the alley
Officer Leroy comes up ♪
37
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,568
♪ He's like, "Hey, I thought I told you"
And I'm like, yeah, whatever ♪
38
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:15,844
[Lucas Lee] Mmm.
39
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,931
- One, two...
- [shrieks]
40
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,183
♪ Then up comes Zafo
I'm like, "Yo, Zafo. What's up?" ♪
41
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,828
♪ He's like, "Nothin'"
And I'm like, "That's cool" ♪
42
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:24,894
[chuckles]
43
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,231
♪ 'Cause this is my
United States of Whatever ♪
44
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:30,315
[grunts]
45
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,987
♪ And this is my
United States of Whatever ♪
46
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,739
- [drivers yell]
- [tires screech]
47
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:40,702
- [drivers clamoring]
- [horns honking]
48
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,705
[cheering, laughter]
49
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,166
[gulping]
50
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,542
- [phone ringing]
- Hmm?
51
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:51,963
[Lucas Lee] That's my agent, fellas.
52
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,675
So what'd I do right this time?
53
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,219
I've got bad news and bad news.
54
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,221
Let's start with the bad.
55
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:01,305
Very well.
56
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,850
Lucas, between your string
of box-office bombs
57
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,853
and reports
of your toxic skater boi behavior,
58
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:10,565
this town's on the verge of saying,
"See you later, boi."
59
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,651
- You are one mistake away from movie jail!
- [grunts]
60
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,279
Good thing I've got
a get-out-of-jail-free card...
61
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,698
- this smile!
- [chimes]
62
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:22,827
Ugh. You realize I can't see you, right?
We're on the phone, yeah?
63
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,872
Lucas, you need to get your act together.
64
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,082
My act is acting.
65
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,169
You want goody-two-shoes,
buy 'em at a shoe store.
66
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:35,256
Well, that's just the sort of thing that's
made you nigh unemployable, isn't it?
67
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:39,552
We've got one offer for a lead role.
I suggest you take it!
68
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,513
It's probably going to be
the last one for a while!
69
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,308
Your flight to Toronto
departs in four hours.
70
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:50,688
And remember, you must be professional
at every opportunity,
71
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:55,568
or the stardom you love so much
will slip through your grasp.
72
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,695
- [dramatic swell]
- [line ends]
73
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:01,157
[echoing] The stardom you love so much
will slip through your grasp.
74
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,618
The stardom you love so much
will slip through your grasp.
75
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:07,455
The stardom you love so much
will slip through your grasp.
76
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,374
[scoffs] Whatever.
77
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:13,670
♪ 'Cause this is my
United States of Whatever ♪
78
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,046
[all] Uh...
79
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:19,217
♪ And this is my
United States of Whatever ♪
80
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,639
[song ends]
81
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,976
["Bloom" by Necry Talkie playing]
82
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,437
[song ends]
83
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,230
[squelches]
84
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,399
[mellow music playing]
85
00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,484
[gloves snap]
86
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,568
[slathering]
87
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:02,402
[knob squeaks]
88
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,657
[squelching]
89
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,826
[slathering]
90
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,411
- [meows]
- [squelching]
91
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,497
- [water splashing]
- [drain gurgles]
92
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,667
- [mirror squeaks]
- [music halts]
93
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:25,676
[rollerblading]
94
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,638
[upbeat music playing]
95
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,850
While we appreciate your passion,
96
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:37,146
{an8}no one visits the set of a Lucas Lee movie
without explicit permission.
97
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,899
Lucas Lee is here?
98
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,819
Of course he's here.
What do you think our job is?
99
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:43,902
Oh man!
100
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,155
Do you think we could have a selfie?
101
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,616
[upbeat music continues]
102
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:49,699
[Ramona grunts]
103
00:06:58,459 --> 00:06:59,459
[music halts]
104
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,136
Hmm?
105
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,097
[Ramona] Young Neil?
106
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,641
Ramona! Love the new hair.
107
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:16,602
Have a seat.
They're about to roll the camera.
108
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,480
Not like a bowling ball.
The camera doesn't roll at all.
109
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,232
You learn a lot on a movie set.
110
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:32,034
Why does the set look
exactly like The Rockit?
111
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,204
The director thinks sets
are more authentic than locations.
112
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,749
They don't consult me on those decisions.
I'm just the writer.
113
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,002
- Of this movie?
- Uh-huh.
114
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,295
You wrote a movie?
115
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,629
Yes.
116
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,090
You wrote a Lucas Lee movie.
117
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,842
[First A.D.] Bring in first team!
118
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,888
- [indistinct chatter]
- [man] Let's go.
119
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,139
[dramatic swell]
120
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:58,311
[dramatic music building]
121
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,229
[grunts, exhales angrily]
122
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,064
[glass shatters]
123
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,816
[Ramona] Hey, Young Neil.
124
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,527
Why is Envy Adams dressed like me?
125
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,154
She's playing Ramona Flowers.
126
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,864
Uh, okay.
127
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:13,409
Young Neil, what's the title
of this movie?
128
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,828
- [First A.D.] Quiet on the set!
- [both] Hmm?
129
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,247
{an8}[slate girl] Scott Pilgrim's
Precious Little Life.
130
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,665
{an8}Scene 12, take 1.
131
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,442
{an8}- [board claps]
- [director] Action!
132
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:26,047
So are you a fan of Sex Bob-omb?
133
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,425
No, I'm kind of seeing
someone in the band.
134
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,136
That's crazy! I am, too!
135
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:37,475
So, um, I just want to make sure
I understand what's happening here.
136
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:41,604
Um, we're both dating Scott
at the same time and don't know it?
137
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:44,607
[director] Cut!
Yes, our lead character is flawed.
138
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:49,070
You wrote an entire script
about a world where Scott Pilgrim
139
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:51,072
won the fight with Matthew Patel?
140
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,240
Basically.
141
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,116
Do you know where I can find Lucas Lee?
142
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,536
[dramatic swell]
143
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,703
Wait.
144
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,830
Who is he playing in this?
145
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:00,790
[whoosh]
146
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,833
[upbeat music playing]
147
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,630
[indistinct chatter]
148
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:12,718
Did you know in the U.S.
these are called Mario Karts?
149
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,428
- That can't be true.
- [nuns giggle]
150
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,972
How would you know that?
151
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,807
- I'm from the U.S.
- [gunshots]
152
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,601
Oh. Well, they're definitely
called that in Japan.
153
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,311
Pretty sure that's not true either.
154
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,605
- [bicycle bell rings]
- Hmm. Agree to disagree.
155
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,651
There's Lucas Lee's trailer.
156
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,114
Thanks for the tour.
157
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,031
Anytime.
158
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:37,034
I know my way around the studio.
[chuckles]
159
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,954
- [loud crash]
- [smoke hisses]
160
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,456
- I don't know where I am!
- Hmm.
161
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,583
[whirs]
162
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,626
- [woman giggles] Oh!
- [Lucas Lee chuckling]
163
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,420
Shh, shh, shh. Someone's outside.
164
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:50,798
[clears throat] Who is it?
I'm working on my lines.
165
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,425
- [woman giggles]
- It's Ramona.
166
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:53,967
Flowers.
167
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:58,431
- [glass shatters]
- [bowl clanking]
168
00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,557
[Lucas Lee chuckles]
169
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:01,934
[seductive music plays]
170
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,185
Oh my god!
171
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,188
Ramona Flowers.
172
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,565
Been a while.
173
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,275
Freshman year, high school.
174
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,569
We need to talk.
175
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:13,613
- I'm not sure we do.
- [woman whispers] No.
176
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,197
About Scott Pilgrim.
177
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,490
I'm Scott Pilgrim.
178
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,743
- [woman giggles]
- No, the real Scott Pilgrim.
179
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,120
You saying I'm a fake Scott Pilgrim?
180
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:24,123
No, the Scott Pilgrim
your character is based on.
181
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,751
Hmm. I didn't know this was a biopic.
182
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,836
[Ramona] No, it's more like...
183
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,839
Wait, do you even know
what this movie is about?
184
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,507
Have you read the script?
185
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,634
I read the title.
186
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,886
Maybe you should read a little more.
187
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:40,931
Well, as not fun as it's been
to catch up, I'm needed on set.
188
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,810
We're about to shoot my first scene.
Gotta give the people what they want.
189
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,021
Crank that Lucas Lee charm to 11.
190
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:49,416
- [woman] I think you're a 12.
- [Lucas Lee] Let's make out.
191
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,358
[sighs]
192
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:53,486
[straight Wallace] Damn girl!
What are you doing later? [chuckles]
193
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,696
- [enchanted sparkle]
- [romantic music playing]
194
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,114
Are you hitting on me?
195
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,910
Maybe I am, and maybe I am.
196
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,370
[enchanted sparkling]
197
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:06,123
Ugh, gross. [echoing]
198
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,168
[straight Wallace] Oh my Lord!
199
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,588
[giggles]
200
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:18,052
[indistinct chatter]
201
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:24,058
Ramona Flowers.
202
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,810
Didn't expect to see you here.
203
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,061
Seeking fame?
204
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,021
[Ramona] Not my style.
205
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:29,980
[Wallace] Ah.
206
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:33,651
Still on the search for my old roommate,
what's-his-name.
207
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:34,902
Any progress?
208
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:35,861
Minimal.
209
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,781
But hopefully that's about to change.
What brings you here?
210
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,576
I heard they hired
a notorious heterosexual to play me.
211
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,954
Needed to see this debacle up close.
212
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,288
[director] Action!
213
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:47,997
[gasps]
214
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,459
I had a dream about that girl again.
215
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,921
[sighs] I didn't care
the first time you told me.
216
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:55,965
I care even less now.
217
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:57,632
[sighs]
218
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,762
- [director] Cut! Let's go again.
- [straight Wallace sighs] Hmm.
219
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,766
Hey, how was that?
Uh, gay enough? Any notes?
220
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:09,895
Uh, yeah. How about you build
a time machine, go back in time,
221
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,648
and never audition for this part
in the first place.
222
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,400
Am I being heckled?
223
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:18,696
[director] Who has the nerve to share
his opinions on the set of my film?
224
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:20,448
Me. I have the nerve.
225
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,200
- [director] You? What's your name?
- [loud snap]
226
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:24,869
I'm Wallace Wells.
227
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:26,996
[inspiring music playing]
228
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:30,791
[director] Method, wow!
Bold, confident, impressive.
229
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,585
I love it!
230
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:33,836
[sharp sting]
231
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,299
What's happening right now?
232
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,468
- Ah! Have you acted before?
- [sharp sting]
233
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:43,471
I considered it.
But I was worried I'd be too good at it.
234
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,015
Wonderful! The part's yours.
235
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,099
What about the other guy?
236
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,268
He's already been escorted off set.
237
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,897
- What?
- [buzzes]
238
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,690
Everybody, take five
239
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,151
while we get our new Wallace
to hair and makeup.
240
00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:00,696
[First A.D.] You heard him,
everybody! Take five, people.
241
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,615
[indistinct chatter]
242
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,366
{an8}Hey, Young Neil.
243
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:08,204
{an8}How'd you know exactly what Scott and I
said in bed that morning?
244
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,124
The creative process is a mystery.
245
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,376
Congrats on skipping
all the traditional steps
246
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,253
to becoming a major movie star.
247
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,380
Hey, if Lucas Lee can do it, why not?
248
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,757
Speaking of which,
249
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,384
I hear Mr. Lee is already
balls deep in a sweaty affair
250
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,136
with someone on the production.
251
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,639
You catch any gossip
on who the lucky lady might be?
252
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:30,810
Not the mystery I'm trying to solve.
And on that note, wish me luck.
253
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,771
[Wallace] Hey,
you could always wish upon a star.
254
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,858
- The star being me.
- [chimes, sparkles]
255
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,653
- [seagulls squawking]
- [mellow music playing]
256
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,863
[knocks]
257
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,031
It's Ramona.
258
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:48,118
[Lucas Lee] Uh, I'm reading the script.
I'm busy. Come back later.
259
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:51,247
I'm not falling for that.
I know you have a girl in there.
260
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,165
Can we just get this over with?
261
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,377
[Lucas Lee sighs] Fine. It's open.
262
00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:01,340
- [romantic music plays, distorts]
- [Ramona] Oh.
263
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:03,843
No girl.
264
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,679
[Lucas Lee sighs]
Did you know I'm in this?
265
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,348
Yeah. You're the lead.
266
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,976
[Lucas Lee]
No, there's a Lucas Lee character,
267
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,228
and Scott tricks him
into grinding to death.
268
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:17,690
I'd never fall for that.
What kind of idiot would write this?
269
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,442
- [engine whirring]
- [upbeat music playing]
270
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:22,528
- [tires screech]
- Ah!
271
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,405
[clanking]
272
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:25,489
[chimes, pops]
273
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,950
Who put that garbage can there?
274
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,411
[chiming, whirring]
275
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:33,914
Wow, that's a fast garbage can!
276
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,333
So this movie is what would've happened
277
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,961
if Scott won the fight
against Matthew Patel?
278
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:39,962
[Ramona] Yeah.
279
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,589
Scott defeats all your exes,
280
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,799
and the two of you
live happily ever after.
281
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:47,428
Young Neil may not be the brightest,
but he has a vivid imagination.
282
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,263
The ending is unrealistic.
283
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,974
The Ramona Flowers I know
would be on to the next one.
284
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,976
That was a long time ago.
285
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,603
Feels like yesterday.
286
00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,607
Why are you here?
287
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,233
Scott's not dead.
288
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,570
Someone wants us to think he is.
289
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:05,653
Who?
290
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:06,696
Why?
291
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,116
[Ramona]
That's what I'm trying to find out.
292
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:13,120
Is there anyone from my past
who would do something this messed up?
293
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:17,249
You think I'd kidnap some Canadian loser
and fake his death?
294
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,045
You willfully chose to join
a league of evil exes.
295
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:24,006
- I need to know how evil you really are.
- Ha!
296
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,383
We're not really evil. It's just branding.
297
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,093
[Ramona] I know your reputation.
298
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,223
You're a quintessential Hollywood bad boy.
299
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,850
You can't judge me.
300
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,478
You're on a quest to find a guy
who was dating a high schooler.
301
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,229
I'd never do anything that stupid.
302
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,774
- If I did, my career would be over.
- [bloops]
303
00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:43,859
- Um, Lucas.
- Hmm?
304
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,361
[harp glissando]
305
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:47,363
- [dramatic swell]
- My God!
306
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,364
[remote chimes]
307
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,365
{an8}[anchor] This just in.
308
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:54,078
{an8}The actor playing Scott Pilgrim is dating
an actress playing a high schooler.
309
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:57,247
{an8}[laughs] That's actually hilarious!
310
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,500
You're dating a 17-year-old?
311
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,502
[Lucas Lee] She's 31 in real life!
312
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,837
- [rumbling]
- [camera shutters clicking]
313
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,839
An earthquake in Toronto?
314
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,841
[Lucas Lee] No, something worse.
315
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,072
- [paparazzi grunts]
- [camera shutter clicks]
316
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,222
Paparazzi!
317
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,391
[Lucas Lee grunts]
318
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:18,310
- [paparazzi grunting]
- [camera shutter clicking]
319
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,269
[Ramona groans]
320
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,105
[tense music playing]
321
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,357
- [paparazzi grunts]
- [Lucas Lee grunts]
322
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,984
- [loud rumble]
- [Lucas Lee grunts]
323
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,193
[paparazzi yell]
324
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,903
- [whirs, chimes]
- [Lucas Lee groans]
325
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,280
[Lucas Lee] Leave her alone!
326
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,282
Go! I'll cover you.
327
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,161
Lucas! [grunts]
328
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,079
[whirs]
329
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,162
[grunts]
330
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,165
[paparazzi grunts]
331
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,626
- [Lucas Lee groans]
- [camera shutter clicks, chimes]
332
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,878
[whooshing]
333
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:48,382
We have you surrounded, actor scum!
Show yourself!
334
00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:50,342
[rumbling, crackling]
335
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,762
- [loud explosion]
- [paparazzi grunt, cough]
336
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,853
[dramatic sting]
337
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:06,775
[dramatic music building]
338
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,528
{an8}- Whatever.
- [tense swell]
339
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,905
{an8}[announcer] Lucas Lee
versus the paparazzi.
340
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,282
- [bell dings]
- Fight!
341
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,535
- ["Police Truck" by Dead Kennedys playing]
- [Lucas Lee grunts]
342
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,582
[grunts]
343
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,544
[paparazzi grunting]
344
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,589
[grunts]
345
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,928
♪ Tonight's the night
That we got the truck ♪
346
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,431
♪ We're going downtown
Gonna beat up drunks ♪
347
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:38,599
{an8}[paparazzi grunting]
348
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,350
{an8}- [Lucas Lee grunting]
- [chiming]
349
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,477
[grunts]
350
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,398
[grunts, groans]
351
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:47,858
[paparazzi grunting, yelling]
352
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,986
[Lucas Lee panting]
353
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,988
- [shrieks]
- [yelling]
354
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,075
[Lucas Lee grunts]
355
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,534
[bones rattling]
356
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:58,618
[grunts]
357
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,454
- [whooshes]
- [paparazzi grunts]
358
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,874
[grunting]
359
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:04,875
[laughs]
360
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,335
- Huh?
- [paparazzi shriek]
361
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,588
[paparazzi grunting]
362
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:12,466
- [Lucas Lee grunts]
- [twirling]
363
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:13,717
[sharp swell]
364
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,679
[crunches, whooshes]
365
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,763
[Lucas Lee grunts]
366
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,224
[whooshing]
367
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,352
[grunts]
368
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,436
[whooshes]
369
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,522
- [sharp swell]
- [grunts]
370
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:31,443
[grunting]
371
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,445
[whooshing]
372
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,529
[grunts]
373
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,492
- [grunts]
- [dramatic swell]
374
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:40,285
- [paparazzi yells]
- [twirling]
375
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,246
{an8}- [paparazzi grunt]
- [chimes]
376
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:43,664
[coins jingling]
377
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:47,126
[paparazzi roaring]
378
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,586
- [Lucas Lee grunts]
- [twirling]
379
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,424
[whooshing]
380
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,508
[whizzing]
381
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,886
- [paparazzi] Huh?
- [camera shutters clicking]
382
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:02,516
[paparazzi yelling]
383
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:06,019
{an8}[chiming]
384
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,103
{an8}[coins jingle]
385
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:07,980
{an8}Huh?
386
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:09,940
[paparazzi grunt]
387
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:11,524
[clanks]
388
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,277
[whooshing]
389
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,363
- [thuds]
- [whooshing]
390
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,782
[grunts]
391
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,743
["Police Truck" continues playing]
392
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:26,373
[all yelling]
393
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,960
[loud explosion]
394
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:32,713
- [board cracks]
- [grunts]
395
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,632
- [gasps]
- [whooshing]
396
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,551
[grunts]
397
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,970
[loud rumble]
398
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:41,930
{an8}[coins jingle]
399
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,391
{an8}[chiming]
400
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:47,853
{an8}[ethereal music playing]
401
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,520
{an8}[grunts]
402
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,190
{an8}- [grunts]
- [dings]
403
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,524
{an8}[chimes, rings]
404
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,862
[dreamy music playing]
405
00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,199
[agent] The stardom you love so much
will slip through your grasp.
406
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:01,116
[Lucas Lee gasps]
407
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,036
[echoing] The stardom you love so much
will slip through your grasp.
408
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:07,706
The stardom you love so much
will slip through your grasp.
409
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,128
Need an assist?
410
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,631
Why would you help me?
411
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,009
What do you mean? I always helped you.
412
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,721
[tender music playing]
413
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:38,736
[Lucas Lee] Yeah.
414
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,991
Until you left me
with nothing but a broken heart.
415
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,042
And a broken board.
416
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,922
That was the day I decided
who I was gonna be.
417
00:20:57,005 --> 00:21:01,843
The best skater,
the highest paid actor, the biggest star.
418
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:06,765
That day made me who I am.
419
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:11,561
So I guess, in a way,
I have to thank you, Ramona.
420
00:21:12,062 --> 00:21:15,148
[Ramona] That's really nice and all,
but we're out of time.
421
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:18,193
- Hmm.
- Are you gonna let me help you or not?
422
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,696
{an8}[paparazzi] Lucas Lee,
we know you're in there!
423
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:22,572
[paparazzi groan]
424
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,324
[indistinct chatter, grumbles]
425
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:25,408
[all] Huh?
426
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:27,910
[all gasp]
427
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:31,415
[upbeat music plays]
428
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,502
[music fades]
429
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:46,846
[bag jingles]
430
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:49,765
All clear.
431
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,309
[Lucas Lee] I just got off the phone
with my agent.
432
00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:55,439
I'm off the movie.
And she's dumping me as a client.
433
00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:56,648
Oof.
434
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,292
[Lucas Lee] Well, there goes my career.
435
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:00,819
It's like I'm a show
that's no longer on the air.
436
00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:02,612
- I'm a, uh...
- Hmm?
437
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,906
Damn. I wish there was a word for it.
438
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,078
Maybe this will all blow over.
439
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:13,832
Nah, they're already testing
new actors to play Scott.
440
00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:14,958
By tomorrow morning,
441
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:18,003
someone else will be cast in the role
of the guy you like more than me.
442
00:22:18,086 --> 00:22:20,047
And I'll be back to being nobody.
443
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,968
That was your cue to say something, like,
"You were never nobody, Lucas."
444
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:29,765
Well, you were definitely nobody,
but I still made out with you.
445
00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:32,758
[Lucas Lee] Hey, I'll take it.
446
00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:35,354
- [whooshes, whirs]
- [grunts, exhales]
447
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,441
Still think I kidnapped
the real Scott Pilgrim?
448
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:40,942
No.
449
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,861
I don't see you as a kidnapping guy.
450
00:22:42,944 --> 00:22:43,945
Or a portal guy.
451
00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:46,615
Good. Because I didn't.
452
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:49,701
That was the night
of the Teen Sorcerer 4 premiere in L.A.
453
00:22:50,285 --> 00:22:52,412
I got blitzed
and puked on Winifred Hailey.
454
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,331
You can find the photos online.
455
00:22:54,998 --> 00:22:57,167
Guess someone else
took your stupid boyfriend.
456
00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,169
He's not my boyfriend.
457
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:02,672
Whoever did this kept that train
from leaving the station.
458
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:05,008
Take care of yourself, Lucas.
459
00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:08,720
[laughs] Whatever.
460
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:10,931
[pensive music playing]
461
00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:13,725
- [kid yells]
- [twirling]
462
00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,395
[Lucas Lee laughs]
463
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,650
[bag rustles]
464
00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,318
- [mysterious music plays]
- Hmm?
465
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:28,323
[whirring, whooshing]
466
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:29,658
[swells, pops]
467
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:33,328
[munching, growling]
468
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,996
Vegan powers.
469
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:36,832
Vegan portals?
470
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:40,836
[pensive music playing]
471
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:42,295
Yes, hello.
472
00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:43,505
I'm Todd Ingram.
473
00:23:44,047 --> 00:23:47,342
I'm vegan, and I'm here to audition
for the part of Scott Pilgrim.
474
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,177
Scott Pilgrim?
475
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,221
You mean the lead role in this picture?
476
00:23:51,304 --> 00:23:53,306
Well, good luck.
477
00:23:54,057 --> 00:23:56,309
Watch out, guys. Vegan coming through.
478
00:23:58,478 --> 00:24:00,397
[dramatic music playing]
479
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,360
[music builds, halts]
480
00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:08,280
{an8}["Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash playing]
481
00:24:14,911 --> 00:24:17,914
♪ Love is a burning thing ♪
482
00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:24,337
♪ And it makes a fiery ring ♪
483
00:24:27,674 --> 00:24:30,677
♪ Bound by wild desire ♪
484
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:36,516
♪ I fell into a ring of fire ♪
485
00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:42,147
♪ I fell into a burning ring of fire ♪
486
00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:46,818
♪ I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher ♪
487
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,279
♪ And it burns, burns, burns ♪
488
00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:53,783
♪ The ring of fire, the ring of fire ♪
489
00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:15,555
♪ I fell into a burning ring of fire ♪
490
00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:20,143
♪ I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher ♪
491
00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:23,063
♪ And it burns, burns, burns ♪
492
00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:27,108
♪ The ring of fire, the ring of fire ♪
493
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:31,321
♪ The taste of love is sweet... ♪
494
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:35,450
{an8}[song fades]
35721
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