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Hey there,
arthouse movie lovers.

My name is Babette Cruickshank

and I'm a film programmer
at Cucalorus Film Festival,

where I curate the IndieIncest segment.

I'm also a Rotten Tomatoes-approved critic

for ''Tinsel Tarmac,''

your online resource for
all things cinematic.

Welcome from the freshly
renovated basement sound studio

of ''Peak Avocado'' in sunny
Echo Park, Los Angeles.

Now, I don't want to sound like
too much of a fangirl here,

but it is an enormous privilege

to be able to host this
audio commentary track

for Manus Oosthuizen's

elegiac feature documentary ''Razzennest.''

''Razzennest.''

Yes.

''Razzennest?''

''Razzennest.''

I apologize, Mr. Oosthuizen.

Oosthuizen.

I'm extremely
sorry, Mr. Oosthuizen.

I accept your apology.

So ''Razzennest''
means ''rat's nest'' in Afrikaans,

your native language, is that correct?

No.

It's Early New High
German, from the 1600s.

God, I'm so sorry.

I should have taken a closer
look at the press release.

Agreed.

Razzennest is
an extraordinary movie.

It truly knows what it wants,

but before we dive into commenting

and discussing your work, Mr. Oosthuizen,

let me introduce the team members

that have joined us here today.

Welcome Ellen Zampaglione,
producer of Razzennest.

It's great being
here with all of you.

Your outfit is fabulous, Ms. Cruickshank.

Thanks!

It's too bad no one's gonna see it.

So true.

Right.

So, we also have Mr. Hetti Friesenbichler

from Leoben, Austria.

I do hope I'm not
butchering your name there.

All good.

No worries.

So let's
just soak in the flair

of Razzennest for a moment.

This simple, eerie succession of images

is just as gripping as any

post-apocalyptic Young Adult drama

that would normally use scenes like these

as establishing shots.

Steve Dollar writes in
Filmcracker Magazine

that ''Razzennest goes far beyond

''exploiting beautiful desolation.''

Such a great quote, Babette.

And Peter
Kuplowsky actually calls it.

''Blair Witch sans Witch.''

What?

Just Blair?

Hetti Friesenbichler--

You conjured up these

haunting and mesmerizing vistas.

As the director of photography--

- Yes.
- Camera operator.

Gosh, I'm so sorry.

That was my mistake.

Look, on IMDb it says DOP.

I changed it yesterday.

Ooooh.

I can literally feel

the magic sparks of teamwork in here.

I thought my
contract said that I would--

Let's talk about that later.

Sorry folks.

This is a good moment to remind you

to get a bit closer to your microphones.

And Mr. Friesenbichler--

Yeah?

May I ask you
to turn your phone off.

Okay, sorry.

A bodiless
voice from the beyond.

Hi everybody, this is
Pat Kirkpatrick, the PATMAN.

I'm your sound engineer,

so I'm next door in the control booth.

Yup.

We can't see you from here, Pat,

but it is good to know that
you're watching over us.

He-hey.

How can you tell who's the sound guy's kid

at the playground?

They're the one sitting off to the side

watching everyone else have fun.

It's funny but it's true.

Yeah.

Good one, Pat.

Anyway, always a pleasure
recording at your studio,

so thanks--
- Let's continue, please.

Of course.

Sorry.

I don't even know where
to start summarizing

your exciting career.

Well, begin in the beginning.

Right.

You were born in 1970 in
Bloemfontein, South Africa,

and you have a wide
background in writing, film,

but also music.

You, of course, started
the very influential

tekkno-grunge formation ''Die Vraag.''

The first feature that you helmed

was the true-crime drama ''Cutting Liquid''

featuring Alice Krige and Yaphet Kotto,

a heartbreaking story of apartheid

and illegal blood transfusions.

Very, very challenging.

In 1998, you formed
the US production company.

''Die Totale Fantasie'' and created.

''Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble''.

It put him on
the map, internationally.

The film deals with a secret,

undeclared joint nuclear weapons test

carried out by South Africa
and Israel in the 1970s.

You make it sound so abstract,

but it truly is the Baby Yoda
of anti-war documentaries.

Baby-what?

You know, from Star Wars.

Star-what?

Nevermind.

The idea to reenact most of the footage

with country musicians
from Johannesburg and Gaza

was an absolute stroke of genius.

Rumor has it that Manus ended up

on the watchlist of the Mossad.

It's a tragedy
that you weren't nominated

for an Academy Award.

Ahead of my time.

But ultimately, I couldn't care less.

Only for a rat, a bat looks like an angel.

My humanity is not defined

by the need for institutional acceptance.

I want to put true in front of change.

Yeah.

Your film ''My Dear Esteban''
generated a lot of attention.

Of course, you got
to pick this one as an example.

Well, it is controversial.

Maybe in the West,
not in Africa, or Asia,

where people have actual problems.

Your movie
is about your experience

diving in the kelp forests of
Canada, every day for a year.

During that time,

you befriended a seal
that began to trust you

until you caught it and ate it.

Wouldn't you call that controversial?

No.

It shows the conditio humana as it is.

But the social
media reactions were...

I mean, you, you were
almost kicked off Twitter.

That was my intern.

I don't do Twitter.

I don't do YouTube.

David Lynch can have it all.

I think we should
talk about Razzennest.

I mean, we're almost through the prologue

and we haven't even really started--

Yes.

No, sorry.

You're right, Mrs. Zampaglione.

Please, call me Ellen.

Okay, Ellen.

Mr. Oosthuizen, please tell us

what we can see on the screen.

Just look at it.

What, do you want me to
explain the images to you now?

We can see what we can see.

Film is a visual medium.

Right.

So maybe tell us what we can't see?

Finally, a
question after my own heart.

Listen here.

Whether you can stick with my work

will depend on how devoted you are

to the notion of ''show, don't tell.''

Because what is not shown,

that's the real deal in Razzennest.

What counts is between
the 25 frames per second

that penetrate your retina.

Actually it's 24 frames.

You demanded I shoot 60
frames and then convert--

Later.

The entire film
was shot in the Rohrwald,

a region in Lower Austria, Central Europe.

And how did
you discover this region?

You don't discover
places, they summon you.

Fun tidbit for
Manus's fans on Letterboxd.

We were screening our drama,
''A Girl Named Colonoscopy''

at the Viennale film festival.

It won the award for Best
International Problem.

At one of the after-parties,

we met this nouvelle gore film
maker called Martin Newerkla.

Who highly
recommended the Rohrwald area.

He had already shot some stuff there.

Three family therapy sessions
and four disembowelments.

I see.

It's a rustic landscape
with enthralling forests

and melodramatic farmland.

And many remains
from dark days long gone by.

You mustn't forget that this area

has been settled for thousands of years.

It oozes mystery and dullness.

Beautiful.

Well done, Mr. Friesenbichler.

Thank you.

I would have loved to shoot with an M18

through an unbleached muzz.

Get four 18ks, some 12x12 ultrabounces.

Why the fuck
is this guy here, Ellen?

Did you pay for his flight?

No.

I haven't even paid his fee yet.

That entire area

is drenched in Roman Catholic symbolism.

That's why a lot of the film

deals with a psycho-geographic
contemplation

of the Judeo-Christian footprint.

Contemplation?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not fucking Terrence Malick.

I take my job seriously.

What I want is to lure the audience

right into the heart of
darkness of the 30 years war.

A war that lasted 30 years?

Fuck me, what
a wet fart of a question.

Manus, don't be rude to Babette!

It's time for
Americans to learn that the world

is not the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company.

The 30 years war was a religious conflict,

1618 to 1648, 30 years.

Do you want to count?

Catholics vs Protestants.

One of the bloodiest wars
in all of European history.

The Protestant German states

fought the imperial Catholic alliance.

Hapsburgian Austria, the
Catholic German states and Spain.

That's right.

Then Sweden entered
the war on the Protestant side

and defeated Austria.

Exactly.

And the French, they
did what they always do.

Surrender?

Spread disease.

What was
the outcome of the war?

The war solved no problems,

and its effects were disastrous and...

Sorry.

You're excused.

It solved no problems,

and it changed the face of Europe forever.

It put Germany on its well-known
trajectory of madness,

and it fostered the fear and distrust

of other ethnicities and faiths.

Sentiments you can still
feel on the streets today.

In your press release,

you say that your film deals

with one of the sources
of ''toxic deadliness.''

That's it.

Everyone wanted peace and
they fought each other

for 30 years to get it.

But your film is so calm.

It's almost like a love
letter to forgiveness.

Did you listen
to anything I just said?

In some areas, up to 60% of
the population were killed.

Compared to this,

the death lists and
destruction of the world wars

seem almost harmless.

Wow.

I've got goosebumps just hearing about it.

That's good, Babette.

You need to connect to your feelings.

Burning towns, scorched earth.

Not a grain of wheat left behind.

Eyewitnesses wrote
that people lived like animals,

eating bark and leaves, and acorns.

They roasted rats,
cats, dogs, horses, and worse.

Worse?

Like a seal?

Yes, like a seal.

The first European witch hunts

began during the war

because many people tried to
find spiritual scapegoats.

So
microaggression turned macro?

Yes, like this.

This is like talking to a PEZ dispenser.

The film itself
offers no narrative framing,

just images of forests,
crosses, powerlines.

Do I have to
spell everything out?

Whoa.

Hey, that clipped.

Do you want to re-scream that part?

For fuck's sake!

Yes.

Ellen, please take over.

I have to compose myself.

Still recording.

Babette,
you're doing a great job.

Don't take what Manus says too personally.

Thanks.

It's all too close to his heart.

The inherent violence
of the symbolic sphere

really triggers him.

Christianity is
the ultimate death cult.

There are
no words in the film,

just the dark electronic
soundscape by Alec Empire.

We couldn't get Slipknot.

No words.

No voice.

No commentary.

I want truth, not propaganda.

My film doesn't need Morgan Freeman.

Right, right here.

This is a great shot.

Tell us a little more about it?

For tourists,
the Rohrwald's landmark

is Kreuzenstein castle.

It was totally destroyed
by the Swedes in 1645.

And completely
rebuilt in the late 1800s

by some inbred aristocrat,

most probably to impress the ladies.

They also shot
some porn there in the 1980s.

Wow.

So it's soaked in history.

Now, that's what I call an
impressive bachelor pad.

Bloated kitsch.

Nowadays they shoot
Nicholas Cage crap there.

I actually
liked Willy's Wonderland.

Don't distract, man.

This is important.

This is existential.

If you hike deep into the Rohrwald forest,

you find a place called
Schwedenhohlen or Schwedenlocher.

The Swedish holes.

Earthen caves dug into the
clay made by human hands.

They constitute the emotional epicenter,

The Razzennest.

The dominant narrative

is that they were built as hiding places.

Places of
refuge for the inhabitants

of the surrounding villages
during the 30 years' war,

when the Swedish general,
Torstenson, occupied the area.

Babette, when we
talk about Swedish troops,

I have to add that most of
them didn't even speak Swedish.

It's more likely they
were German mercenaries,

fighting far away from home.

And many Austrian soldiers

spoke a mixture of German and Spanish

because they fought side
by side with Spaniards.

Okay, can we leave aside

the brainwankery trivia for a moment.

What is relevant, okay,

is that many peasants fled
from the murderous armies,

most of them plundering and raping hordes.

Hunger and lawlessness prevailed.

Many people died from epidemics.

I could
listen to this for hours.

It's so informative compared
to just the visuals.

Mothers had to carry
seven children on average

in order for just one to survive.

How do you live
and love in such a world?

I'm not sure
that's the right question.

What is the right question?

Why don't you try on for size,

can you imagine the pain on those faces?

If you don't mind me asking,

why aren't you showing any faces?

Why are there no people in the film?

Are you insane?

Should I show families shitting
blood until they croak?

Should I hire prostitutes
for LARPing mass rape?

I'm not a pornographer.

So you're anti-sex-work?

Jy joke seker?

No.

I...

I refuse to show the
thing I want to address.

But you said
film is a visual medium?

Visual, yes,
but not exploitative.

My film is Lanzmann's Shoah
without the fucking faces.

Woah, I think we
need to put that into context.

Do you know
what Friedrich Schiller

wrote about the 30 years' war?

Fuck, he is in recital mode.

Here commenced
a scene of horrors

for which history has no
language, no poetry, no pencil.

Hey there, Patman here.

Could you maybe just speak into the mic?

In a single church,
53 women were found beheaded.

And the Croats amused themselves

by throwing children into the flames.

Pappenheim's Walloons,

they were stabbing infants
at the mother's breast.

I-I--

Shhhh.

It's just--

Shhh.

And that is what my film is.

A moment of silence.

So you try
to explain a profane

yet insane reign of pain?

By George, I think she's got it.

If a person sees my movie,

I hope that person sees a
million different movies.

Excuse me.

Okay.

If you know how quickly
people forget the dead,

you simply stop living to impress people.

I want to recite my favorite poem.

That would be amazing.

Grass.

By Carl Sandburg.

''Pile the bodies high at
Austerlitz and Waterloo.

''Shovel them under and let me work,

''I am the grass; I cover all.

''And pile them high at Gettysburg.

''And pile them high at Ypres and Verdun.

''Shovel them under and let me work.

''Two years, 10 years, and
passengers ask the conductor:

''What place is this?

''Where are we now?

''I am the grass.

''Let me work.''

I'm speechless.

You do understand, don't you?

That, whatever one does,

the grass keeps growing?

Sorry, do you have some water?

Sure.

There are some bottles
of Fiji right over there.

Thank you.

I am a demanding personality,

but my best quality is, quality.

I think we
achieved Manus's goal.

Congratulations.

How would you frame the film?

Inquisitive pastiche.

Kier-La Janisse
did an excellent documentary

on folk horror.

Folk horror?

Honestly?

Corn rigs and barley rigs
and corn rigs are bonnie.

Don't you ever put me in that category.

They can all keep their ancient spirits

in bad make-up for themselves.

But Eggers.

Eggers can suck my Aster.

How about the editing process?

Shout-out to our co-editor.

Shaquana Alyssa Washington.

Yo.

Co-editor?

How come?

She told us, when
she cuts video on the computer,

she connects so deeply with the material,

it's like cutting herself.

She calls it synEDITesia.

But in the end, for deadline purposes,

I finished the film myself.

Wow.

Been there done that.

You know, you get to a Zen-like place

where the film starts telling
you how it wants to be edited.

Can't wait to
see it on the big screen

at the world premiere
at Fantastic Fest 2022.

Yes, I heard
about the premiere.

What an interesting festival choice.

It's huge, but it's so genre.

I'm quite friendly
with Annick Mahnert,

the head of programming there.

Her dog's adorable.

And have they
ever shown anything like this?

Fuck Tribeca is my middle name.

For far too long,

my films have been ghettoized
as so-called art movies.

We need a proper ghetto uprising.

Razzennest
will touch the audience.

A bad touch.

Consensual bad touch.

I don't
want to spoil anything,

but when you consider all
this radical bleakness,

Razzennest actually has a very intimate,

almost romantic ending.

Leaves you with a complex,

acidic aftertaste, doesn't it?

The closing
monologue is, of course,

narrated by Gremlins
2 director, Joe Dante.

What an unforeseeable choice.

We are old friends.

Although I deeply question
Joe's sensibilities

as a filmmaker.

Well, what can I say?

Look, I lost a stupid bet
with him, so that's that.

How fun.

It's a minor blemish.

Could you tell us about.

Razzennest's working conditions?

Very intense.

It was a three-day shoot.

Extraordinary 72 hours.

You were only
there for three hours.

So what?

I was sufficiently
convinced of your abilities,

otherwise I wouldn't have hired you.

Mr. Friesenbichler,

tell us about your previous work.

Mostly Kickstarter videos.

We wanted to work
with Ulrich Beidl's camera guy,

but it turned out that
he had a #metoo scandal.

Mr. Friesenbichler was recommended to us

by a guy on Facebook.

Interesting.

We really needed

an Austrian team member in a key position,

so we could apply for
federal funding at the OFIK.

It's
mind-boggling that there is

so much public funding
for the arts in Europe.

Doesn't that almost make it too easy?

Easy?

No.

Austria's film industry

is one government-sanctioned cockfight.

We competed with Geyrhalter's
film about microplastics

in the same jury session.

But we pecked
that chicken good?

Mr. Friesenbichler,

why don't you tell us a little about

the beginning of your cooperation.

I got a Facebook message,

but I only read it three weeks later.

I prefer Telegram.

What an amusing story.

Never heard of
Mr. Oosthuizen before.

But then I duckduckgoed him,
and he sounded interesting.

I hoped for something
challenging camera work,

like the one in his jazz musical.

I Am Not Throwing Away My Shot.

It's about Stalin.

A hundred dancing Ukrainian grandmothers

in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone.

With Jeff
Goldblum on the spinet.

Aaron Hillis called
it Polanski for grown-ups.

The production would
be a bit more complicated,

I would say, in today's political climate.

Especially insurance for Jeff.

I remember half of
our crew had to be bribed.

And we had a big crew.

Well, I ended up
running through the woods alone.

I was happy that
Mr. Friesenbichler and I

quickly established a
meaningful visual language,

so that I could leave.

The weight of the burden of the past

was just too much for me.

Looking at
the images right now,

what do you say, Mr. Friesenbichler?

Ja, I did what I could.

Meaning?

For example.

Nobody told me anything
about the Sweden holes.

They are pretty deep
and I am claustrophobic.

Ooh.

Sounds exciting.

I got stuck.

Intense.

Yeah.

I got stuck in a cave
with a giant spider web.

It was as big as a curtain.

I hate spiders.

I felt this strange presence.

This, this dark presence.

What a pansy.

Did you
get a mission briefing?

Mr. Oosthuizen told me

I should capture the
dead souls of the place.

Exactly.

Exactly.

That was hard.

But you did it.

I hope so.

What do you mean, ''I hope so?''

Look at the images.

Look at the power.

You can see it.

They are hypnotic.

I am much more efficient

when I get a more explicit task.

Like what?

Like, details.

Details?

More details than

run through the woods and film stuff.

That is not what I said.

You wrote it down
on a post-it before you left.

Right next to the dead souls shit.

I understand that you are used

to more concrete arrangements,

but releasing the true
potential of everyone on set

is my main priority.

I was the only one on set.

Exactly.

Look, I am not saying that--

What are you not saying?

You left me alone.

I had to stay in this rundown restaurant

that was also a swinger club.

They didn't even have Wi-Fi.

No one in the 1600s had Wi-Fi.

They didn't have cameras either.

What is this?

Method-filming?

Okay, okay, gentlemen.

I'm a vegetarian,
and they served me chicken.

You know what they said?

They said it's not meat.

It isn't meat, it's poultry.

For three days,
I ate nothing but Nutella.

Movie-making is not
as glamorous as people think.

You can't put the
shit back in the muskrat.

And I felt really
dizzy while shooting.

I had chills run up my spine
all the time, I was sweating,

it was hard for me to concentrate.

You don't say.

Maybe, just maybe there is a correlation

with your hazelnut diet.

Catering is
the most important part

of any film production.

Manus has a whole segment
about it in his Masterclass.

I was sick, I was cold,

and those stupid SD cards were
making trouble all the time.

Many files had weird glitches

and some of the footage
had creepy, black shadows.

The stupid shadows, yes.

We had to remove them in post-production.

No.

No, not removed.

I color-corrected them.

They're still in there.

Sometimes
you can still see them.

Don't tell me
what I can and cannot see.

It is so
fascinating to hear about

all the struggles the
team had to go through.

Team?

What team?

Man, who hurt you?

When did you stop believing in yourself?

Manus, come on.

I immortalized his struggle.

You can thank me later.

Babette, shooting
a film forges new bonds.

We're very glad that Hetti
is now part of our family.

Who?

You mean him.

Do you at
least know if I can come

to the premiere at Fantastic Fest?

Lisa Dreyer is
not sure how many tickets

they'll have for us.

I'll keep you posted.

I already paid the ticket

to come here out of my own pocket.

What is it that can we see

on the screen right now?

Yeah.

Forest.

Is there a special
moment that you remember?

Yeah, there is.

Sorry.

I rolled this big log over

and underneath was a little stick.

And I thought, that log had a child.

That's not canon.

Sorry.

You've got anything
more quotable, Manus?

Sure.

I would travel down to hell and wrestle

a film away from the
devil if it was necessary.

I feel a bit sick.

Should we pause the recording?

No, no.

We've got a good flow now.

Come on.

Um...

Is anything wrong with him?

Can I maybe get you some water?

Yes, yes please.

Here you go.

Is he gonna
drink that whole bottle?

That was fast.

Yeah, please more.

O-Okay.

That is our last one.

Thank you.

Ellen.

Yes?

Can he go outside?

Can he?

I don't know.

He can do that outside.

Ooh, danke.

Someone was thirsty.

Can we edit that out later?

Pat?

Yeah, sure totally.

We can remove all of that.

No worries, folks.

Right, great.

Are you all good, man?

A bit dizzy.

Probably the jetlag.

Of course.

You just arrived here yesterday.

Yeah, nine hours
time difference to Vienna.

It's one in the morning for me.

Just like time travel.

Yeah.

Can we focus on
the important stuff, please?

Okay, well, let's
get back to the recording

and we're on.

Good.

I would argue that Jodorowsky's Dune...

- My god, Hetti.
- What the fuck?

Come on.
- Eww.

Shit.

What the fuck?

Pat?

Patman to the rescue.

I'm coming to the studio.

I appreciate it, thanks.

Look at the color.

What color?

Of the puke.

It's dark.

God, you're right.

It's, it's like black clay.

What the bloody
hell have you been eating?

More Nutella?

It's probably
just the lighting here.

Why would it be clayey?

Maybe because your camera guy

is like really sick?

He's just really overacting.

What is wrong with you?

I ate a whole
fucking seal and I wasn't sick

and this wimp pukes his guts out

just because he's in
a different time zone?

Good, here he is.

Man, look at you.

Yeah.

Look, we're gonna
have to stop the recording.

Let's get this poor guy some help.

Yeah, but
when should we continue?

We have some
timeslots available tomorrow.

That's not possible.

He'll be on a plane to Caracas.

The camera guy?

No, not the fucking camera guy.

I will be.

Yes.

He's going to be on a panel with Tilda.

What about you do

the rest of the commentary
alone, Mrs. Zampaglione?

Well, I think I could.

Certainly not, Ellen.

That that's absurd.

Okay, but
there's puke everywhere.

I don't care.

I'm 52 and I have seen it all.

- But--
- No buts.

When I shot in Yemen,
with war all around me,

I was so sick of fever
that I could not sleep.

The only thing I could do is read a book

and because I was feeling so alone,

I buried the book on the edge
of the desert with a spade.

We need to bury the book, now.

Bury?

We need to bury the book now.

Bury a book?

A metaphor.

Bury a metaphor?

Right.

Okay, look.

Patman to the rescue.

Hey, bro.

Come along with me, there is
a couch in my control room.

I kept that good old lady
even after the renovation.

Spent a lot of hours on her, believe me.

She is super comfy.

Got you all set up.

Thank you.

Thanks, Pat.

Look at his face.

Take it slow.

God, his complexion.

It's like Giuliani's hair dye.

I heard that.

Okay, watch your step, bub.

Can we leave the door open?

It smells awful in here.

Not great, not terrible.

Do you really
insist on keeping recording?

We keep recording.

Your decision, man.

Okay.

Thanks, Pat.

Well, thank god
this isn't a long movie.

Excuse me?

I mean, it's good
that we're not stuck in here

for too much longer.

Wimps.

Look, we better wait

till Pat's back at the mixer,

just to be sure that
everything's in order.

Agreed.

I have seen my share
of weird stuff but puking--

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up.

Really?

I--

Find your inner strength, Ellen.

But shouldn't we--

Woman, that's
enough queefing about.

No.

That's enough, Manus.

Okay, Hetti's super
snug as a bug on a rug

on the couch, resting.

So we can continue and--
- Yeah.

We're on.

That's what I call a pro.

So, now, let's finish
this once and for all.

Mr. Oosthuizen,

please tell us what it is that you see

when you look at these images.

I see calm and terror.

I see growth and destruction.

I see that people are far more comfortable

with demons than with angels.

I see a borehole into the
emotional depth of yesteryear.

Woah, okay.

That was a little loud, dude.

Quiet, the artist is present.

Now, I'm feeling really weird.

Hey, woah,

- what's going on, buddy.
- Pat?

Hey, you don't look well at all.

Why don't you sit down.

You just need a minute--

Do you hear that?

Buddy?

Pal?

Guy?

Friend?

Bud, are you okay?

Pat?

God.

Do you assholes
want to give me tinnitus?

What is this?

I have no idea.

Pat?

- What the fuck?
- ...children...

- This is super unhealthy.
- ...pray...

- ...the Swedes are on their way!
- I can't hear you. Pat is that you?

...tomorrow
comes Oxenstierna...

- ...will teach the children to pray!
- What the fuck is going on?

- Wh-What are they saying?
- I think it's...

- Pray, children, pray...
- My god, stop it.

What kind of
fucked up prank is this?

What?

This is clearly some bullshit

for your TikTok page or something,

something to get cheap likes.

Are you out
of your fucking mind?

Don't you play me
for a sucker, young lady.

No, I'm not--

Has our little tune
frightened you?

What?

Our little song wasn't meant to
scare you, wasn't it?

Fuck!

Come out, you dirty lot!

No more beautiful
death in the world...

...than to be slain by the enemy!

On green heath, in the open field...

...may not hear great lamentation!

What is going on?

But here you find
good company,

with all who fall like leaves...

Hetti, if
this is about the money,

I can PayPal you right now.

Are you all having a good laugh

at our expense?

Hahaha.

All right,
I've had enough of this.

I'm gonna go get Pat.

Huzzah! What a neat mop of hair!

What the...

Let go of my hair.

Please!

Get the fuck out!

Manus, help me with the door.

Get out!

My God, that's on fire.

Is that...

Is that burning plastic?

Where's the fire extinguisher?

There's too much smoke.

I can't see it.

It's probably
outside the door.

That's not
according to fire code.

Here, put it out with that jacket.

What the hell is it?

It, it looks like...

It looks like a piece of soundproofing.

Why would they set it on fire?

Because their
daddies didn't love them?

I don't care, call 911.

My, my cell's in my jacket,

I left it upstairs in the office.

What about you?

You know I
don't own a cell phone.

You don't what?

Fuck data retention.

I stand with Assange.

It doesn't matter,

there's no reception down here anyways.

Are you trying to scare me?

I'm no goddamn snowflake.

I'm an ice machine at
Motel 6, nothing scares me.

My head.

Am I bleeding?

A bit.

Does that hurt?

Yes.

Here, put this hanky on it.

Thanks.

This is gonna be a hell of a bruise.

Hey, there's
a landline over here.

No tone.

It's patched
through to the control booth.

Fuck it.

What about the fire alarm?

No, it's not connected yet

because of the fucking renovation.

Help me block the
door, in case they come back.

Here, the table.

Okay, we need--

We need to remain levelheaded!

I know, but we, we have to--

When I shot with
Elijah Wood in Guatemala,

I almost drowned in a porta-potty.

Do you know how I survived?

By level-headedness.

Look, I'm not sure
all this yelling is helping.

I'm not yelling.

I'm projecting confidence.

What language
is that they were speaking?

I think it's German.

German?

Old German.

But why?

Because they're anti-vaxxers.

What?

I'm joking.

I have no fucking idea.

It's not old German?

No, it is old German.

They are not anti-vaxxers,
you idiot sandwich.

What?

Hey, what are you doing, Ellen?

Trying to climb on the table.

Why?

Why?

Why?

There's a little window up here

and it's the only way to see

what's going on outside the door.

Okay, good idea.

Yeah, I'll give you a leg up.

Thanks, Babette.

It's my knee.

I fucked it up doing yoga.

Right.

Good.

Okay.

I can see the hallway.

There are some FedEx boxes,

a whiteboard, folding chairs,

the rest of the soundproofing
they set on fire.

I can see the staircase
going up to the office.

Is anyone up there?

Well, it's Sunday.

It's not staffed on the weekend.

Can you see the crazies?

No.

Where are they?

Do you think they left?

I can't see down the
hallway to the control booth.

Someone is coming down the stairs.

What?

A woman.

Let me up.

I want to see.

Wait, what the
fuck do you think you're doing?

What does it
look like I'm doing?

Careful,
you'll knock us both down.

Help us.

Help us.

She can hear us.

We need...

We need to open the door.

We need to open the door.

She is holding a baby.

Get down.

Get down.

We need to open the door.

Wait, wait,
she's coming towards us.

She is saying something
but I can't hear her.

God.

- What?
- What?

My God.

What's happening?

No.

Jesus.

- Ellen.
- What's happening?

What's happening?
- Don't let them in.

Don't let them in.

What happened?

- For Christ's sake, don't let them in.

Ellen.

Jesus, what's going on?

Let's get her down.

No, no, no, no.

What happened?

Leave her alone.

Can't you see she's traumatized?

And what about me?

Does it look like I'm playing Candy Crush?

- No, no.
- It's okay, it's okay.

- No.
- It's okay, it's okay.

- My God.
- Fuck!

Okay, what
happened down there?

- The, the woman.
- Yes?

The woman she wanted to help us

and then they came for her.

Who?

Pat and the camera guy?

Yeah.

What did they do?

They, they took the baby.

And then?

And then smashed
it against the wall.

My god.

What?

Again and again.

What?

The woman was screaming
and then they grabbed her.

My god.

And they just
beat her and beat her,

and then, and then they took it.

What?

What did they take?

They just took it.

Shut up.

Back at the control booth.

The sound.

The sound.

The sound.

I think, I think
they're eating the baby.

You're hysterical.

I need to take a look.

Okay, I can see the legs of the woman.

She's on the ground right
in front of the door.

The angle is bad from up here.

A great miracle!

The fodder in the villages was all gone.

Day after day nothing but bark to eat!

And then such a feast!

Por la bondad de Dios.

Fuck.

They're...

We need to get out of here.

I need something.

Here's a mic stand.

Okay, this is better than nothing.

What do you want to do?

You want to fight them?

Sure.

In Chiapas, I fought a rabid
dwarf with a selfie stick.

Shhh.

They can hear us.

- Don't go out there.
- Shhh.

They can hear us through the mics.

Absolute quiet.

Shhh.

Psst.

I can stick my head out.

Fuck.

She doesn't have a face anymore.

They bashed it in.

It's just pulp.

I'll try to get her handbag.

Fuck, I can't get it off.

Pull harder.

Fuck!
- Shush.

Her arm came off.

Come back in.

My scarf is
caught on the door handle.

Come on.

I'm trying.

Infidels!

Swedes!

You serve the Devil himself!

Shit.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit.

Block the door again.

Block the door again.

Jislijk, that was close.

Fucking hell, that was close.

What the fuck?

Okay, let's see.

A DVD, Get Lamp?

It has a nice little nerd doc.

One out of five stars

because it doesn't fucking help.

Fuck.

Empty it out.

Some floss,
hankies, a face mask.

Christ, she must be from
the fucking Palisades.

She doesn't even have Mace in here.

No car keys for stabbing?

Smart key.

Absolutely useless.
- Fuck.

Okay, here's her wallet.

Here's her wallet.

Good heavens!

What?

Her name is
Emily Mary Kirkpatrick.

My God.

He ate his own child.

- No.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- God.

No, God.

Ellen.

Ellen, what is it?
- Ellen, are you all right?

Don't let them in!

What?

Don't let them in here!

Jesus, fuck.

Our Father in heaven,

Who tellest all of us in heart...

- What is this?
- What the fuck?

...brothers to
be, and on Thee call...

I think it's German.

What?

She's speaking German.

Grant that
not only the mouth pray!

Help deepest heart show the way.

What is going on here?

Listen to what the Swede
is doing to our women!

Scare them, so that they can do nothing
else but pray to dear Jesus!

The Swede will look
when we catch him.

But it's time we took care of that
treacherous wench.

Hide food from us, the trollop!

I feel like I know what

I'm going to do with her!

What are we going to do?

I'll check what they're up to.

What do you see?

They're moving her corpse

back to the control room.

And?

I guess she's not a
beauty anymore, Mendoza!

But she is still warm!

Vero.

There is no more beautiful
death in the world...

...yeah... than to be slain...
by the enemy!

On earth as in Heaven, in pain
give us patience for relief, obedience in...

Good Lord.

It's my turn.

I'm turning off the speaker.

I can't listen to this shit anymore.

This must be
some kind of psychosis

or maybe someone put drugs in our water.

Drugs?

Drugs that make you speak German?

Friesenbichler speaks German.

Sure.

What about Ellen?

She is from fucking Hounslow.

Bravo.

Madame interviewer can read a CV.

Don't patronize me, boomer.

Boomer?

Hey, I'm Gen X?

What are we
gonna do with her?

Hey, Ellen?

Are you, are you okay?

Ellen?

Let me try,
I know a bit of German.

Okay.

Who are you?

Hanna.

Hanna?

What are you doing here?

Hiding.
1285.

Where are you from?

Oberrohrbach.

Since Christmas I've been
holed up here.

How many months?

Four of them!

She's insane.

She says, she's from Oberwhatever,

and she's been here for four months.

What?

Here?

Where are we?

Well here, in the earth, in the mud cave!

Come on.

What?

She says she's
hiding in the caves.

What caves?

What fucking caves do think?

The fucking caves in my film!

Fucking insanity.

Do you, do you
think it could be real?

This is all a bit
too real, if you ask me.

Could they be like,

like a reincarnations
of-of-of-of dead people?

Of old souls?

Are we really gonna go there?

I thought
you are so well-connected

to the spiritual world.

For God's sake.

Aren't you so proud

that the Zunri people made you a shaman?

You stayed with them for two years.

So what?

Then do something.

I don't know.

Talk to the spirits.

I don't know.

This could work.

This could work.

Let me assist you.

Do-Do you need to meditate?

It's ritual poetry and dance

to connect with the spirits.

W-W-W-Well, come on.

I mean, do an exorcism or something.

I don't have my prayer stick.

You know what?

Do it.

This is ridiculous.

You are doing it.

You're doing great.

I can't, goddamit.

Why?

I stayed at
the fucking Marriott.

Okay?

What?

I never did the shaman thing.

What?

Look.

Do I look like Richard fuckin' Stanley?

It's all staged.

You're a fraud.

Cry me a river.

Cultural appropriation.

It would also have
been cultural appropriation

if I had done the fucking ritual.

Cultural
fucking appropriation!

It brought them
lots of media attention, okay?

Bullshit artist.

Bullshit artist.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit artist!

Shut up, you twat.

Who, who do you think you are?

I know very well
who I am, and guess what?

I also know what Star Wars is,

but pretending I don't,

just makes me as cool as Werner
Herzog, that creepy fart.

I didn't even eat that fucking seal,

Joe Dante hooked me up with Rob Bottin

and he made one for me,
fake blubber and all.

Fantastic.

Just fantastic.

And what about this?

W-W-What do you actually know
about the caves in this video?

Do you, do you know anything,

do you anything about the
people that lived there?

Nothing.

There isn't much on Wikipedia.

You bastard.

Films are business,

and I can't waste two years on an idea.

I need output, output for
every single festival season.

Generation shitstorm.

Maximize the attention.

You are--

An entertainer.

I entertain.

I make people believe
in my made-up realities,

in my lies, make them love me.

That's my job.

Are the mercenaries gone?

I think they're all possessed.

Nonsense.

You told the camera guy

that he should capture dead souls.

So?

What if it really worked?

That would make him a lot better

at his job than I thought.

Well, do you
have any other explanation?

We don't need an explanation.

We need a solution.

Where is my mother?

Where is my dear little mother?

She always bugged me,

but I liked her better as a
producer than as a peasant.

Time to get shit done.

Nothing here.

Paper, sharpies, batteries and some...

Yes.

A spray can.

Cruickskank, you've got a lighter?

No, that's
just insulation foam

from the renovation.

Fucking spray foam.

Couldn't they have left a screwdriver

or a box cutter or something?

Okay.

What have we got here?

What a beauty.

Congratulations.

You found an old coffee machine.

That's Mr. Coffee
machine to you.

So what are you gonna do?

MacGyver us a musket out of
sharpies and an old percolator?

Respect your elders, young lady.

Get fucked.

Like Mrs. Kirkpatrick?

How tempting.

Hey, Cruickshank.

Do you need to pee, by any chance?

Are you nuts?

No, I'm a filmmaker

and filmmaking is problem-solving,

so do you need to pee or not?

What?

If you need to pee
then pee into the machine.

It's the only liquid we have here.

I want to boil it and use it as a weapon.

Ewww.

What do you mean, ''Ewww''?

First of all,
I don't feel comfortable.

I don't care whether
you feel comfortable or not,

if you have to pee, then
pee into the machine.

Like this.

Woah.

Okay.

Your turn.

Don't be shy.

I have seen my fair share
of film critic pussy, okay?

Why doesn't it surprise me

that a White guy who
grew up in South Africa

in the '70s is a major asshole?

Shame, you're
hurting my feelings, darling.

Listen, I'm pretty decent.

My dad, not so much.

He was a police officer.

Beat the shit out of the kaffers.

Jesus.

Get a move on.

Did you know
that regardless of size

most mammals urinate for
about the same amount of time?

21 seconds.

So that's something you know,

but you don't know

what the Thirty Years' War is?

No?

Whatever.

Don't you whatever me.

When I grew up, I sat for hours

just waiting for my favorite
song to play on the radio

so I could hit record
on my cassette player

only to have the DJ fucking talk over it.

I didn't know who was calling on the phone

because it didn't have a display.

I didn't win any computer games

because they just kept faster,

and if I wanted to send an email,

some fucking machine had to serenade

a crazy-ass robo song to another machine.

Go eat a Tide Pod.

Is this weird
display of self-pity

some kind of coping mechanism?

I think it might be.

So what's your glorious plan?

Step one, plug in the machine.

Step two, turn on machine.

Step three, we wait.

Should we maybe
listen into the control room?

Good thinking.

Let's get some intel.

Ludwig, now we lack
only the brandy!

Soldiers have come,
have taken everything...

Broke the windows.
Have carried away the lead...

Poured bullets out of it,
and shot the peasants!

Who is singing?

Who wants to confuse us?

Strangest of places here!

Is it bewitched?

What are you talking
about, lad?

That's superstition.

Be a good Catholic, and don't let
yourself be bullied like that.

It's just a bunch of farmers

hiding out here somewhere.

And if we're lucky, we'll catch
another one of Torstensson's soldiers.

What are they saying?

Spicker, that old crow!

- Calls himself an imperial
Catholic commander!

It's very convoluted.

He should have died rather than leave
Kreuzenstein to...

...the Swede Torstensson without a fight.

They're talking
about Leopold Wilhelm.

The Protestant Satan now looks
down on us from above.

Where is Archduke Leopold Wilhelm?

Dobbiamo diese Festung zurückzugewinnen.

What shall
we do with the dead maid?

Leave her here!

Maybe there's still something there.

You braggart!

They seem to be
thinking they are Austrians,

looking for Swedes.

Turn it off.

Should we try to talk to them?

They gobbled down

a dead baby like popcorn chicken.

I don't think that's gonna change a thing.

That smell is revolting.

That is the
smell of victory, baby.

I'm gonna burn their fuckin' faces off.

20 minutes ago

they were our sound
guy and your cameraman.

It's unbelievable that we're
talking about them like this.

Don't you go soft on me now.

- Where is Volkhard?
- 1546.

Where is my Volkhard?
1547.

What is she saying?

What's the matter, you?

Forget it, she's useless.

What do we do now?

All we need to do
is make it up the staircase.

We are on North Alvarado, close to Sunset.

There's a gas station next door

and the El Rancho Market
on the other side.

There's tons of people!

So what?

We just lure them in here,

and you splash them with the hot piss?

Yes.

Like we let them in here?

No.

You want to attack them?

No.

Are you capable

of more than monosyllabic answers?

Yes.

I knew you would say that.

I'm gonna try
and run for the staircase,

and if they attack me, I'll attack them.

Wait, and I stay here?

Yes.

Why?

Because you
are a fuckin' liability.

I'm faster on my own.

I can make it to the street,
and that's all we need.

You wanna leave me here alone?

It's only for a few minutes.

That's not good.

That's not good.

That's not good.

That's not good.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hush.

Reduce the negative self-talk.

I don't want to
be stuck in here with her.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no--
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What?

How does The Rock pee?

What?

How does The Rock pee?

I don't know.

How does The Rock pee?

He Dwyane's his Johnson.

That is so stupid.

It worked, didn't it?

What do you mean?

I broke the cycle.

What cycle?

The cycle of negativity.

No, no, no, no, no.

We aren't even close
and it's all your fault.

You and your boring movie.

I don't know about you,

but I intend to go to the premiere

at the fuckin' Alamo Drafthouse
in fuckin' Austin, Texas

on fuckin' South Lamar

and I will eat some
fuckin' Buffalo Cauliflower

in the fuckin' theater.

Well, the
press will certainly love

your pretentious jerk fest.

For sure.

I can see it now.

''A gratifying experience.''

Pfft.

Nah.

Come on, try it.

Stay positive.

No.

Come on, indulge me.

Just one.

''Instant classic!''

''Tour de force.''

''Relevant.''

''Layered.''

''With a
riveting performance by... moss!''

You know, you're the biggest misogynist

and emotionally abusive
ass that I've ever met.

But this tight alpha male ass

will save your damn good lookin' one.

Okay.

- We should grab dinner
next time I'm in town.

Mother Wolf on Wilcox.

Sure.

Really?

No, not really!

I'm just trying to motivate
you for your fuckin' quest

to the top of the fuckin' stairs.

Okay, I get it.

I can't see anyone out there.

Turn on the system.

I want to hear if they're
still in the control booth.

Fine.

What great misfortune!

Hey, shhh, Hanna.

- Quiet.

Ok?

I am getting help!

Yes... yes?

Shhh.

Are they sleeping?

It's time.

You take care of my producer, okay?

Just make sure
you get us out of here.

Give me the coffee pot!

It's hot.

Here.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Don't worry.

I'll be back with help.

Everyone responsible for this

is gonna get what they deserve.

Enough of the heroics.

You're right.

Time to subvert some genre tropes.

One, two, three.

Shit!

My god!

God!

- God!
- Shit, shit, shit!

Jesus Christ!

Shit, shit, shit!

My god!

They're coming for us!

Devil himself!

What raving is this,
fellow trooper?

I'm going to
trying to stop the bleeding.

Okay?

It burns!

It burns!

Stop thrashing about.

I need to stop the bleeding first.

My god, your eye.

My god.

You cut your eyelid off.

Fuck.

Fuck, what am I gonna do.

Fuck.

You!

Hey, hey, you!

Hanna!

Hanna!

Help me out here!

Hel... help!

You can hold him down.

My god.

My god.

Why the
hell did you slip, man!

It's all...

My god, it's all over your face.

Wait.

Here, let me see your eye.

I need to...

My god.

I need to get the glass shards out.

God.

Hanna!

Door.

Block the door.

Door!

God!

Quiet, mother, quiet!

My god!

We're gonna have to get him to a hospital.

Volkhard is not far,

he will come to our aid, mother!

Here comes one of
Torstensson's people!

Viva la casa de Austria!

We'll split his skull!

Lutheran!

And even more so the woman,
the sinful one!

No!

No.

God!

Hanna.

Hanna! My dear child!

Mother!

Blame your Volkhard,

your German mercenary!

Damned Protestant!

Love falls where
it may, mother!

- She... loves...
- a Swedish corporal...

But he deserted for our love!

Misery, misery!

A sinner, in heaven and on earth!

Volkhard!

You are as proud as all proud beauties...

You know secured all my longing,

to you as the most radiant gem!

Calm down, mother, he'll be here soon!

He has sworn!

They're dragging
over the Coke machine!

T-They're building goddamn ram out of it!

I, I need to get some help.

Okay.

Ooh, bag.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Seriously, Ellen?

A computer?

You've been flirting
with me this whole time...

You had a fuckin' computer in your bag?

Jesus!

Okay.

Password.

Fine.

Guest account.

Okay, okay.

Nothing is installed on the guest account.

Just Opera?

The fuck!

Maybe I can use my Gmail.

Shit!

Wi-Fi password.

Wi-Fi password.

Whiteboard.

''Avocado.''

Okay.

Okay.

Shit!

What?

No, no!

You can't send me a passcode
to my cellphone, Gmail!

God stupid fuckin' 2-way authentication!

Schufte!

They finished the ram.

Jesus Christ.

Heave-ho!

Hahahah!

Look, the enemy's whore
and her little mother.

What about you, little mother?

Show your face!

Is it leprosy?

Mouth rot?

Hahaha!

Have mercy! Mercy!

God has mercy; we don't.

You probably thought that we

would never find you.

We almost died a wretched
death of hunger, but...

Hahaha!

Hue and cry!

Leave them alone!

Please, can't you see they're hurt!

And who might you be?

The Swede, perhaps?

Hey, whoa whoa whoa.

Put that XLR cable down!

Go on, tie their hands.

No, please.

No, please don't do this!

Search everything!

Maybe we'll find some sweet booty.

Cabinet!

Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing at all!

Closet!

Indeed!

Mendoza!

What kind of trinket does he have?

I can't
make sense of it, Ludwig.

How suspicious.

Let me.

Let me.

Black magic!

We are facing... a witch!

So... ''little mother''!

Tell us everything!

Please don't.

I... don't... know...

Oho.

She doesn't know.

She. Doesn't. Know.

She! Doesn't! Know!

- Mother!
- Then this!

Mother!

Mercy!
- Please.

We have no mercy for the
Devil's concubines...

...who spread their legs for the enemy.

Truly not.

I don't know!

She lies!

No!

No!

Shut up!

Mother, dear mother,

tell us about
the sinful ways of your precious daughter.

Pontifical soldiers,
I beg your forgiveness!

Shall we allow ourselves
to be fooled?

Has she not promised herself to the Devil

and consorted with his manly form?

No vice and no evil deeds!

Nothing!

Nothing?

Nothing?

Nothing?

Then the malevolent witch

is of no use to us!

Open your shameful mouth!

Swallow your own dark magic!

No! Mother!

Mother!

For Baby Jesus!

Viva la casa de Austria!

Amen.

No!

No! No! No! No! No! No!

Silence!

I'll cut off your breast and

roast it with wild garlic!

Hahaha!

''On the freedom of a Christian.''

Drag the witch out...

It really is
cramped in this hole...

I'll take
care of this young hussy.

Keep the damned wench alive!

We'll see, you righteous man!

Where... is... the... Swede?

Speak,

shameful whore!

Well then...
who doesn't want to speak...

No!

I need to get some help.

This has to stop.

Harlot!

Do you want to make trouble?

Yeah, who
wants to sneak away?

The Lord will punish you,
sinners!

Volkhard!

Is that you?

Yes... beloved!

Hanna.

Everything will be fine!

Ha!

The damned Swedish corporal!

He's holed up here, after all!

Where is his pack?

Where?

I don't know anything!

I'm not fighting
for Torstensson's army anymore!

So, so!

Run away has he?

For the girl!

He fancies a Catholic damsel!

Then he is of no help to us.

What can we do to him?

Let's not let him escape
to Hell too quickly!

Let's do it!

I know what I intend to do
with the woman.

I smoke out the rat's nest.

Let my Hanna go!

Defile me in her place!

Shut up!

Or does he want to eat hot coal?

Hey, Pat?

- Ludwig!
- Patman?

Swede!

What the fuck?

I am booked for five o'clock.

It's Sunday.

It's Mathcore Sunday.

Haah.

Don't ''haah'' me, motherfucker.

This place is fuckin' trash, man.

I'm gonna yelp the living shit out of you.

Jeez.

Ambush!

Ambush!

More wicked people are sure to come!

I don't long for the grave,
Ludwig!

Block the cave, Mendoza!

A nasty bonfire for this den of iniquity!

- Take to your heels.
- All is lost here.

Come to me breast...

Curses upon you;
Jesus Christ be my witness!

Come here!

Fear not!

I am here!

How the power
of your gaze enchants me!

In the
hereafter we are one, darling.

Quick, kiss me!

It should still be so in this world!

This film is
dedicated to two nameless lovers

who were, according to legend,
born under ill-fated stars.

Imperial Austrian
soldiers detained the two

and burned them alive.

Villagers crossed their heavy hearts

when they found the charred
corpses in the earthen caves.

The lovers, the tale says,

had died in a sweet, carnal embrace.

Their earthly remains
were laid to eternal rest

at this spot in spring of 1645,

not long before the marauding army

took their woeful retreat.

What its connection
is to the recording studio,

if any, at all, while
that's under investigation

as is the cause of the fire.

Inside the building individual
and small recording studios

that firefighters say created
compartments of fire and smoke

that were challenging to navigate.

And as for those two people that were...