Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,967
He's too hot to be a coaster.
2
00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:30,369
That's the magic of ecstasy.
Everybody looks good.
3
00:01:30,569 --> 00:01:31,771
Good? He's practically a superhero.
4
00:01:31,771 --> 00:01:33,272
All he needs is a spandex body suit,
5
00:01:33,272 --> 00:01:35,274
and he's ready to save the universe.
6
00:01:35,274 --> 00:01:36,776
There. How's that?
7
00:01:36,776 --> 00:01:39,278
Now he just needs an insignia on his chest.
8
00:01:39,278 --> 00:01:41,280
A lightning bolt?
9
00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:42,782
Uh, an atom?
10
00:01:42,782 --> 00:01:45,985
An "E".
11
00:01:45,985 --> 00:01:46,986
"E"!
12
00:01:47,386 --> 00:01:48,387
And a mask, of course.
13
00:01:48,387 --> 00:01:50,189
Of course!
14
00:01:50,189 --> 00:01:51,590
Oh! And a cape?
15
00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,392
Capes are so last century.
16
00:01:53,893 --> 00:01:54,894
But he does need a superpower.
17
00:01:55,394 --> 00:01:56,696
He wouldn't be a superhero without one.
18
00:01:56,696 --> 00:01:57,897
How about paralyzing beams
19
00:01:57,897 --> 00:02:01,200
that radiate from his dark,
smoldering bedroom eyes?
20
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,201
Oh, better yet,
21
00:02:02,201 --> 00:02:04,804
the de-materializer rays that shoot from the...
22
00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:07,406
the mega-blaster he keeps concealed
in his super-shorts.
23
00:02:09,809 --> 00:02:14,013
What are you girls all giggly about?
24
00:02:14,013 --> 00:02:15,915
Okay. No more drugs for you.
25
00:02:15,915 --> 00:02:17,717
Then how about another round of drinks, on me?
26
00:02:18,217 --> 00:02:20,920
What's the occasion, your one billionth rejection?
27
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:22,221
Better.
28
00:02:22,231 --> 00:02:24,513
The nominations for the Gay Porn Awards
were just announced.
29
00:02:24,523 --> 00:02:25,725
And guess who's being recognized
30
00:02:25,735 --> 00:02:28,527
for his outstanding achievement?
31
00:02:28,527 --> 00:02:31,330
None other than jerk@work's very own...
32
00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,332
Fetch Dixon. Thank you very much.
33
00:02:33,332 --> 00:02:34,633
Hey! Awesome.
34
00:02:35,134 --> 00:02:36,535
That's so great.
35
00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:38,037
Wait till you tell Emmett, he'll be so excited.
36
00:02:38,037 --> 00:02:41,040
It's always gratifying to be recognized for your hard work.
37
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,641
He could really use it.
38
00:02:42,641 --> 00:02:44,143
Especially after all he's been through.
39
00:02:44,143 --> 00:02:45,745
I can't wait to read him the official letter.
40
00:02:45,745 --> 00:02:47,246
"Dear Mr. Schmidt,
41
00:02:47,246 --> 00:02:49,749
The Academy of Pornographic Arts and Sciences
42
00:02:50,049 --> 00:02:51,751
is pleased to inform you...
43
00:02:51,761 --> 00:02:53,753
that the star of your porn site,
44
00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:57,256
Fetch Dixon, has been nominated for the coveted
45
00:02:57,267 --> 00:03:04,764
Crystal Dick Award as internet New-Cummer of the Year."
46
00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,766
Well?
47
00:03:06,766 --> 00:03:09,368
Isn't this fantastic?
48
00:03:09,368 --> 00:03:11,871
Yeah. It's very nice.
49
00:03:12,371 --> 00:03:13,873
Nice? You know...
50
00:03:13,873 --> 00:03:16,876
It's not every day that someone
gets nominated for a Crystal Dick.
51
00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:19,678
That's huge.
52
00:03:19,678 --> 00:03:20,679
I suppose.
53
00:03:20,679 --> 00:03:22,681
All right, I'll tell you what.
54
00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:26,185
I'll hire a limo to drive us. Okay?
55
00:03:26,185 --> 00:03:28,687
Really make a... event out of it.
56
00:03:28,687 --> 00:03:29,688
Go in style.
57
00:03:29,688 --> 00:03:32,191
Hmm. Thanks, Teddy, I don't...
58
00:03:32,191 --> 00:03:36,695
really feel much like celebrating.
59
00:03:36,695 --> 00:03:40,699
I know, Em, but...
60
00:03:40,699 --> 00:03:42,701
it's The Gay Porno Awards!
61
00:03:42,701 --> 00:03:44,203
You know,
62
00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:48,207
you owe it to yourself to get out,
have some fun.
63
00:03:48,207 --> 00:03:49,708
I don't know.
64
00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:52,711
Maybe if George were still here to enjoy it with me,
65
00:03:52,711 --> 00:03:56,215
I might consider it.
66
00:03:56,215 --> 00:04:00,219
Besides, I still have a lot of things to do,
you know, and...
67
00:04:00,219 --> 00:04:03,222
like, figure out what to say at his funeral.
68
00:04:03,222 --> 00:04:04,723
You plan on speaking?
69
00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,726
Yeah.
70
00:04:07,726 --> 00:04:10,229
I want everyone to know how wonderful he was.
71
00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:12,832
What we shared.
72
00:04:12,832 --> 00:04:14,834
But more importantly, I...
73
00:04:15,334 --> 00:04:18,838
still need to say goodbye.
74
00:04:18,838 --> 00:04:23,342
Never really had the chance.
75
00:04:23,342 --> 00:04:25,847
Well...
76
00:04:27,847 --> 00:04:29,851
then you should.
77
00:04:39,158 --> 00:04:41,160
You two look like shit.
78
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,661
Why don't you?
79
00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:44,163
E-Man saved me.
80
00:04:44,163 --> 00:04:46,165
Huh.
81
00:04:46,165 --> 00:04:47,666
Jesus, you didn't keep that?
82
00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:50,669
Are you kidding? It's fanfucking-tastic.
83
00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:53,961
- Must be the drugs talking.
- No, it's me, and,
84
00:04:53,973 --> 00:04:55,774
It got me thinking.
85
00:04:55,774 --> 00:04:57,776
That's always a dangerous sign.
86
00:04:57,776 --> 00:05:00,279
Do you mind? I'm trying to have
a conversation with your boyfriend.
87
00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:02,781
After they killed off Captain Astro,
88
00:05:02,781 --> 00:05:04,773
people have been coming into
my comic book store
89
00:05:04,783 --> 00:05:06,785
looking for a gay superhero,
you know, to take his place.
90
00:05:06,785 --> 00:05:08,777
But he doesn't exist.
91
00:05:08,787 --> 00:05:10,289
That's when it came to me.
92
00:05:10,289 --> 00:05:11,790
Why wait for someone else to create him?
93
00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:14,793
Why don't we just create him ourselves?
94
00:05:14,793 --> 00:05:16,295
You mean, do our own comic?
95
00:05:16,395 --> 00:05:17,396
Why not?
96
00:05:17,396 --> 00:05:19,899
Okay, it's time for your medication.
97
00:05:19,899 --> 00:05:21,400
What...
98
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,401
people make their own films,
99
00:05:22,401 --> 00:05:24,904
they write books and screenplays.
100
00:05:24,904 --> 00:05:26,405
Why is it so crazy?
101
00:05:26,405 --> 00:05:28,407
Well for one thing, I don't know anything about comics.
102
00:05:28,407 --> 00:05:29,408
I do. It's my business,
103
00:05:29,408 --> 00:05:30,809
I've been reading them all my life.
104
00:05:30,809 --> 00:05:31,991
I could come up with a million stories
105
00:05:32,312 --> 00:05:38,919
Except I can't draw for shit. You can.
106
00:05:38,919 --> 00:05:40,622
Would be kind of cool.
107
00:05:42,622 --> 00:05:46,626
What do you say we get together and just brainstorm?
108
00:05:46,626 --> 00:05:48,128
Yeah.
109
00:05:48,128 --> 00:05:50,130
- I guess we could give it a try.
- Finally,
110
00:05:50,130 --> 00:05:52,632
you two boys will have something
in common besides me.
111
00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:57,134
And what a relief not to be the centre
of everyone's universe.
112
00:06:04,244 --> 00:06:06,746
I got you, don't worry.
113
00:06:07,247 --> 00:06:08,748
Okay, one more step.
114
00:06:08,748 --> 00:06:11,751
Oh, that's it.
115
00:06:11,751 --> 00:06:13,753
All right.
116
00:06:13,753 --> 00:06:16,457
Okay.
117
00:06:17,457 --> 00:06:19,960
Open your eyes.
118
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,461
Wow.
119
00:06:21,461 --> 00:06:23,763
Uh... what am I looking at?
120
00:06:25,265 --> 00:06:26,766
My new studio.
121
00:06:26,766 --> 00:06:28,768
Or at least the way I've imagined it. See?
122
00:06:28,768 --> 00:06:31,071
I've marked where everything should be.
The sink,
123
00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:34,474
The shelves...
124
00:06:34,474 --> 00:06:36,977
Oh. Is that... is that a skylight?
125
00:06:37,077 --> 00:06:40,078
It'll give the place a nice, light, airy feel,
don't you think?
126
00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:42,882
I think it'll give our bank account
a nice, light, airy feel too.
127
00:06:42,882 --> 00:06:43,883
Hey, anybody here?
128
00:06:44,384 --> 00:06:45,385
In the attic.
129
00:06:45,585 --> 00:06:48,088
The studio.
130
00:06:48,588 --> 00:06:49,589
I know money's an issue,
131
00:06:49,589 --> 00:06:51,491
which is why I've done my research.
132
00:06:51,491 --> 00:06:52,993
I've priced all the materials.
133
00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:53,793
What about the plumbers,
134
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:55,795
electricians, carpenters...
135
00:06:55,795 --> 00:06:57,297
uh... skylight guys?
136
00:06:57,297 --> 00:06:58,798
New fanbelt's here.
137
00:06:58,999 --> 00:07:00,000
If you can spare your wheels,
138
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,002
I'll pop it in right now.
139
00:07:03,503 --> 00:07:05,705
Whoa. Killer space.
140
00:07:06,206 --> 00:07:08,208
- It's going to be my new studio.
- Cool.
141
00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:10,710
Leeds, you know reno. Can you price this?
142
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:13,713
Well...
143
00:07:14,114 --> 00:07:16,816
if you use a contractor...
144
00:07:16,816 --> 00:07:18,818
my guesstimate's ten.
145
00:07:18,818 --> 00:07:19,819
But then, they always say
146
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,621
to double it.
147
00:07:21,621 --> 00:07:23,123
That's a sizeable chunk of change.
148
00:07:23,123 --> 00:07:24,624
Too sizeable.
149
00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:26,626
Unless, of course...
150
00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:29,629
I do it for you.
151
00:07:29,729 --> 00:07:30,730
Oh, we couldn't possibly ask that.
152
00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:32,633
Who's asking? I'm offering.
153
00:07:32,643 --> 00:07:34,634
Yeah, it still sounds like it'll cost a bundle.
154
00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:38,626
It just so happens the dykes I'm house-sitting
for are back from their cleansing in India
155
00:07:38,638 --> 00:07:40,140
and that I'm going to need a place to crash.
156
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:42,142
And we have a couch.
157
00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:47,143
I get a roof over my head,
complete with skylight, and in exchange...
158
00:07:47,247 --> 00:07:51,151
you get your studio.
159
00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:52,552
Well, I think it sounds
160
00:07:52,552 --> 00:07:56,555
- like the perfect solution.
- Except, as you know,
161
00:07:57,057 --> 00:08:01,061
an artist's studio is a private, personal space.
162
00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:03,663
I'd like to be able to create it for myself.
163
00:08:03,663 --> 00:08:04,664
So, thank you for the offer,
164
00:08:04,664 --> 00:08:06,666
Leda, but...
165
00:08:06,666 --> 00:08:08,668
no thanks.
166
00:08:09,169 --> 00:08:10,170
Well.
167
00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:14,574
When do we start accidentally losing fingers?
168
00:08:14,574 --> 00:08:16,076
How about this?
169
00:08:16,076 --> 00:08:18,578
A young scientist is doing an experiment in radiation
170
00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:20,380
when he gets bitten by a radioactive bug?
171
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,582
- Yeah.
- That's Spider-Man.
172
00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:27,087
Oh.
173
00:08:27,587 --> 00:08:29,089
King of the Seas. He breathes...
174
00:08:29,589 --> 00:08:31,091
underwater.
175
00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:33,593
That's Aquaman.
176
00:08:37,097 --> 00:08:39,099
Okay, I know, I got it.
177
00:08:39,099 --> 00:08:41,601
He's sent to Earth by his parents when he's just a baby
178
00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:43,303
right before his planet explodes.
179
00:08:43,303 --> 00:08:45,805
When he gets here, he discovers
he has all these superpowers...
180
00:08:45,805 --> 00:08:48,508
You gotta be kidding me.
181
00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:50,009
Well then, you think of something.
182
00:08:50,009 --> 00:08:52,112
You're the one with the million great ideas.
183
00:08:52,112 --> 00:08:53,613
Well unfortunately, they've all
been previously thought of.
184
00:08:53,613 --> 00:08:54,914
Well maybe we should just forget it.
185
00:08:54,914 --> 00:08:58,418
No, it... it'll come to us, I know.
186
00:08:58,418 --> 00:08:59,919
We've been sitting here for hours.
187
00:08:59,919 --> 00:09:01,921
You can't rush a brilliant idea.
188
00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:16,536
You know, whoever our guy is, he doesn't...
189
00:09:16,536 --> 00:09:19,839
have to be your standard superhero steroid case.
190
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,241
It's his mind that makes him sexy.
191
00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:24,442
- It's his fierce individualism...
- That gives him courage.
192
00:09:24,444 --> 00:09:27,935
- His uncompromising moral code...
- That makes him strong.
193
00:09:27,947 --> 00:09:32,109
What if his disguise is that he's a
cold-hearted Ad Exec by day...
194
00:09:32,152 --> 00:09:35,355
Defender of queers by night.
195
00:09:35,355 --> 00:09:37,357
Now, all we need is a name.
196
00:09:37,357 --> 00:09:40,660
Okay.
197
00:09:41,161 --> 00:09:42,862
Fucking piece of shit!
198
00:09:45,965 --> 00:09:49,269
- The Fury?
- Pissed-Off Man.
199
00:09:52,172 --> 00:09:55,175
Rage.
200
00:09:55,675 --> 00:09:56,476
It's genius!
201
00:10:02,882 --> 00:10:04,083
Once you've cleared this,
202
00:10:04,083 --> 00:10:05,585
you can work on those pieces over there.
203
00:10:05,585 --> 00:10:09,088
Yes, sir.
204
00:10:09,589 --> 00:10:11,090
Mr. Honeycutt,
205
00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:15,595
please accept my most sincere condolences.
206
00:10:15,595 --> 00:10:18,097
Thank you, Jonathan. And mine to you.
207
00:10:18,398 --> 00:10:21,401
I, uh... I can't imagine how George
will manage up there without you.
208
00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:24,404
He's in far more capable hands now.
209
00:10:24,404 --> 00:10:26,406
I expect you've come for your things.
210
00:10:26,406 --> 00:10:27,907
Allow me to get them for you.
211
00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:30,710
Actually, I'd prefer to do it myself.
212
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:34,214
I'd, uh... I'd like to be in his room one last time.
213
00:10:34,214 --> 00:10:36,716
And, uh... and I was kind of hoping to, uh,
214
00:10:36,716 --> 00:10:39,219
take a little something to remember him by.
215
00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:42,222
His, uh, his snugly old red cardigan.
216
00:10:42,222 --> 00:10:43,723
Jonathan,
217
00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:53,233
go get Mr. Schickel's sweater.
218
00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:55,034
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Schickel.
219
00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:58,037
I know George's passing must be a tremendous loss.
220
00:10:58,037 --> 00:11:02,842
I don't know how I'll manage to fill the void.
221
00:11:02,842 --> 00:11:06,346
Careful with that. It's very valuable.
222
00:11:06,346 --> 00:11:10,550
I'm sure you'll find a way.
223
00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:12,552
Now, if you'll excuse me,
224
00:11:12,552 --> 00:11:13,553
there's so much I have to do.
225
00:11:13,553 --> 00:11:15,555
I can imagine. Back home,
226
00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:17,657
when someone passed away,
my mother and Aunt Lulah
227
00:11:17,657 --> 00:11:18,958
were cooking for days.
228
00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:21,561
Cooking?
229
00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:25,064
Well, instead of making the funeral
into a mournful occasion,
230
00:11:25,064 --> 00:11:29,569
we tried to turn it into a celebration
of our loved one's life.
231
00:11:29,569 --> 00:11:33,072
That's, uh, that's what I plan to do at George's service.
232
00:11:33,172 --> 00:11:37,877
Well, that's very sweet.
But really, it's not necessary.
233
00:11:37,877 --> 00:11:39,879
It's necessary for me.
234
00:11:39,979 --> 00:11:41,481
Well unfortunately, there won't be time.
235
00:11:41,981 --> 00:11:42,982
You see,
236
00:11:42,982 --> 00:11:45,985
George was a very important man.
237
00:11:45,985 --> 00:11:49,489
There'll be many... prominent speakers tomorrow,
238
00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:55,194
CEOs, political and spiritual leaders.
239
00:11:55,194 --> 00:12:00,800
Oh, here's the sweater you requested.
240
00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:02,802
Take it,
241
00:12:02,802 --> 00:12:05,805
along with your memories.
242
00:12:06,105 --> 00:12:09,125
I'm sure they'll give you great comfort.
243
00:12:26,626 --> 00:12:28,628
I want him to have a completely different look,
244
00:12:28,628 --> 00:12:30,129
like no one's ever seen before.
245
00:12:30,129 --> 00:12:31,631
And different stories. You know,
246
00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:33,633
not just the same old stuff
you see in straight comics.
247
00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:36,135
But you know, our guy's gay.
He lives in a gay world.
248
00:12:36,135 --> 00:12:37,737
He has gay sex.
249
00:12:37,737 --> 00:12:40,239
And with his superpowers, plenty of it.
250
00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:42,642
So, what kind of stories?
251
00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:45,144
Well, there was this one story I was thinking about, but...
252
00:12:45,144 --> 00:12:47,146
- What?
- Never mind.
253
00:12:47,146 --> 00:12:49,048
Well, come on, tell me.
254
00:12:49,048 --> 00:12:51,551
We're partners now.
255
00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:58,558
We gotta share what's on our minds,
it doesn't matter how dumb.
256
00:13:00,059 --> 00:13:03,062
I was thinking Rage could save this kid's life...
257
00:13:03,062 --> 00:13:06,268
after he's bashed.
258
00:13:09,268 --> 00:13:10,770
See, I told you it was a dumb idea.
259
00:13:10,770 --> 00:13:12,772
I never should've brought it up. I'm sorry.
260
00:13:12,772 --> 00:13:15,274
I think it's a great idea.
261
00:13:15,274 --> 00:13:18,277
You do?
262
00:13:18,778 --> 00:13:20,279
I mean, it's awfully personal.
263
00:13:20,279 --> 00:13:22,782
Well, the best art usually is.
264
00:13:22,782 --> 00:13:24,784
Besides, I want to talk about it.
265
00:13:24,784 --> 00:13:26,285
Trouble is, no one seems to want to listen.
266
00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:29,789
I mean, they want to pretend it didn't happen.
267
00:13:30,289 --> 00:13:31,791
Well, now's your chance.
268
00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:35,595
And it could be how Rage
meets the love of his life.
269
00:13:35,595 --> 00:13:37,096
I thought Rage didn't believe in love.
270
00:13:38,598 --> 00:13:40,099
We'll let him think that.
271
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,521
You're up.
272
00:14:00,921 --> 00:14:02,923
Look again.
273
00:14:02,923 --> 00:14:04,425
And you're late.
274
00:14:04,425 --> 00:14:06,927
- It's after 3:00.
- It doesn't count. I was with Michael.
275
00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:08,829
All fucking night?
276
00:14:08,829 --> 00:14:09,830
It felt like five minutes.
277
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:11,832
And the stuff we came up with is amazing.
278
00:14:11,832 --> 00:14:13,333
It's like we share the same brain.
279
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,335
You get it Monday, Wednesday and Friday,
280
00:14:15,836 --> 00:14:16,837
and he gets it Tuesday and Thursday?
281
00:14:18,338 --> 00:14:19,339
What's that?
282
00:14:19,339 --> 00:14:20,841
Oh, it's research.
283
00:14:20,841 --> 00:14:22,843
Michael wants me to study the illustrations
284
00:14:22,843 --> 00:14:26,346
to soak it all in.
285
00:14:26,847 --> 00:14:28,849
Check out this one.
286
00:14:28,849 --> 00:14:31,871
Come over here.
287
00:14:58,879 --> 00:14:59,880
What?
288
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,482
Put Justin on, quick.
289
00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:03,484
It's fucking 4:00 in the morning.
290
00:15:03,584 --> 00:15:05,586
Creativity doesn't punch a time-clock.
291
00:15:05,586 --> 00:15:08,489
Oh my God, that is so profound.
292
00:15:08,989 --> 00:15:12,993
Can you hold on a minute
while I write it down?
293
00:15:12,993 --> 00:15:13,994
You freak.
294
00:15:14,495 --> 00:15:15,996
I just got this idea and I couldn't wait.
295
00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:16,997
What? Quick, tell me.
296
00:15:16,997 --> 00:15:18,499
Maybe we could have...
297
00:15:18,999 --> 00:15:20,000
What...
298
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,504
Nighty-night, Mikey.
299
00:15:23,504 --> 00:15:26,006
That was important.
300
00:15:26,006 --> 00:15:28,542
So is this.
301
00:16:09,049 --> 00:16:11,552
That feels...
302
00:16:11,552 --> 00:16:13,568
good.
303
00:16:50,591 --> 00:16:53,594
I can't think of anything
more rewarding and relaxing
304
00:16:53,594 --> 00:16:55,095
than renovating an old attic.
305
00:16:55,095 --> 00:16:57,097
And it's so simple.
306
00:16:57,097 --> 00:17:00,601
You just need a few tools and some well chosen materials,
307
00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:03,604
and in no time that empty space will be transformed
308
00:17:03,604 --> 00:17:05,205
into a cozy living area
309
00:17:05,205 --> 00:17:08,208
that is sure to be one of your
favourite places in the house.
310
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:09,710
I know mine is.
311
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:13,614
And, most importantly, it'll be... a snap.
312
00:17:13,614 --> 00:17:14,615
Who's this crazy bitch?
313
00:17:14,615 --> 00:17:16,116
It's a remodelling video.
314
00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:17,618
The salesperson at the hardware store
315
00:17:17,618 --> 00:17:18,919
said to follow along
316
00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:20,921
and do exactly as she does.
317
00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:22,623
Well then, you've already fucked up.
318
00:17:23,123 --> 00:17:24,124
How's that?
319
00:17:24,124 --> 00:17:29,129
You're not wearing pearls.
320
00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:32,733
Let's measure our plywood lengthwise.
321
00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:34,735
Here's a tip that I just love:
322
00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:37,437
I always keep a tape measurer on my key chain.
323
00:17:37,437 --> 00:17:38,438
That way, if anything requires...
324
00:17:38,438 --> 00:17:39,940
Excuse me, girls?
325
00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:40,941
Huh?
326
00:17:40,941 --> 00:17:41,942
That's the wrong way.
327
00:17:42,442 --> 00:17:43,944
What do you know?
328
00:17:43,944 --> 00:17:48,248
When it comes to measuring wood, I'm an expert.
329
00:17:48,248 --> 00:17:53,854
Yeah... okay.
330
00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:56,857
See how easy this is?
331
00:17:56,857 --> 00:18:01,061
I told you we don't need Leda.
332
00:18:01,061 --> 00:18:02,562
Do I detect a note of jealousy?
333
00:18:03,063 --> 00:18:05,065
Of Leda?
334
00:18:05,065 --> 00:18:07,067
No, don't be ridiculous.
335
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,969
Then why the fuck didn't you let her help you out?
336
00:18:09,469 --> 00:18:10,470
That's what I'd like to know.
337
00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:11,972
I already told you:
338
00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:13,974
we can do it ourselves.
339
00:18:15,976 --> 00:18:18,478
There, see how easily the plywood cuts?
340
00:18:18,478 --> 00:18:19,980
That nice clean edge.
341
00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:21,982
And never let sawdust go to waste.
342
00:18:21,982 --> 00:18:25,485
I collect up every particle and store it in the freezer.
343
00:18:25,485 --> 00:18:27,287
In the spring, I'll mix it with fresh soil
344
00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:30,290
and have an interesting and
inexpensive mulch for my garden.
345
00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:33,093
Hey, hey, whoa!
346
00:18:33,093 --> 00:18:34,995
- Hey, watch where you point that thing.
- Yes, yes!
347
00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:36,997
What kind of a dyke are you?
348
00:18:36,997 --> 00:18:39,499
- You can't even handle a power tool?
- Oh, go away
349
00:18:39,499 --> 00:18:41,001
and play with your son.
350
00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:42,502
While you've still got your legs.
351
00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:44,004
Yeah, yeah.
352
00:18:44,004 --> 00:18:45,505
Don't we put it over there?
353
00:18:45,505 --> 00:18:47,007
Go with the lines.
354
00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:48,508
We marked it, already.
355
00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:51,011
It's a snap.
356
00:18:51,011 --> 00:18:53,013
George loved his city.
357
00:18:53,013 --> 00:18:54,514
He loved his company.
358
00:18:54,514 --> 00:18:58,018
But most of all, he loved his family.
359
00:18:58,518 --> 00:19:02,022
I'm reminded of a story that he
and his devoted wife, Virginia,
360
00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:03,523
once relayed to me.
361
00:19:04,024 --> 00:19:07,027
One day, their daughter Frankie came home from school,
362
00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:09,529
upset to have learned of hungry children,
363
00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:11,031
victims of an earthquake in South America...
364
00:19:11,031 --> 00:19:13,433
This is some event.
365
00:19:13,433 --> 00:19:15,435
Everybody who's anybody's here.
366
00:19:15,435 --> 00:19:17,437
Yeah, everybody who didn't want
anything to do with George
367
00:19:17,437 --> 00:19:18,939
when he was alive.
368
00:19:19,439 --> 00:19:21,441
All the more reason I'm glad I came.
369
00:19:21,441 --> 00:19:22,943
Let's find a seat.
370
00:19:22,943 --> 00:19:24,945
...A family man caring for families.
371
00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:28,749
That's what George Schickel was all about.
372
00:19:28,749 --> 00:19:31,251
And I, for one, will miss him deeply.
373
00:19:36,857 --> 00:19:41,161
We've heard many tributes to
George Schickel this afternoon.
374
00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:44,464
It's obvious that this much beloved man
375
00:19:44,464 --> 00:19:47,467
- not only brought nourishment to the world...
- Go on.
376
00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:49,970
- through the pickle the people prefer...
- Now's your chance.
377
00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:52,973
- but also emotional nourishment...
- Just do it.
378
00:19:53,073 --> 00:19:56,076
To his family, to his community,
379
00:19:56,076 --> 00:19:59,079
- indeed to all of Pittsburgh...
- I'd like to...
380
00:19:59,079 --> 00:20:00,080
say something.
381
00:20:07,187 --> 00:20:09,189
Sorry, sir.
382
00:20:09,189 --> 00:20:11,691
- It's for friends and family only.
- I am a friend.
383
00:20:11,691 --> 00:20:13,193
I'm more than a friend.
384
00:20:13,193 --> 00:20:15,195
Take your... let go of me!
385
00:20:15,195 --> 00:20:17,197
- Okay, I... look, I...
- Take your hands off of him!
386
00:20:17,197 --> 00:20:18,999
Teddy!
387
00:20:19,499 --> 00:20:22,002
Just take your hands off of him!
388
00:20:22,002 --> 00:20:25,405
Will everyone please rise for the 23rd Psalm?
389
00:20:44,224 --> 00:20:45,725
Okay.
390
00:20:45,725 --> 00:20:47,227
Good... wait. That's really good.
391
00:20:47,227 --> 00:20:49,830
Could you make his jaw a little wider?
392
00:20:51,531 --> 00:20:52,532
That's perfect. It looks just like...
393
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:55,936
Excuse me, has anyone seen my fucking floor?
394
00:20:55,936 --> 00:20:57,437
Uh-oh! Don't get him mad.
395
00:20:57,938 --> 00:20:59,439
Yeah, or he'll emit his telekinetic death stare
396
00:20:59,439 --> 00:21:02,843
and make your head explode.
397
00:21:02,843 --> 00:21:03,844
That's one of his powers.
398
00:21:04,244 --> 00:21:05,745
He can control your mind whenever he wants.
399
00:21:05,745 --> 00:21:07,547
Huh, yeah well...
400
00:21:07,547 --> 00:21:11,451
what I want is my loft.
401
00:21:11,451 --> 00:21:12,953
- Wait, don't touch those.
- Hey, those are in sequence.
402
00:21:12,953 --> 00:21:14,454
Don't walk that way.
403
00:21:14,454 --> 00:21:15,956
Well, how the hell am I supposed to get to my bedroom?
404
00:21:16,456 --> 00:21:17,958
- Go around.
- Yeah.
405
00:21:18,158 --> 00:21:19,159
Uh-huh.
406
00:21:19,659 --> 00:21:22,562
Hey!
407
00:21:24,564 --> 00:21:26,867
So, here is where Zephyr tries to stop Rage
408
00:21:26,867 --> 00:21:28,368
from using his hetero-blaster.
409
00:21:28,568 --> 00:21:30,570
Do you think Zephyr could be a little taller
410
00:21:30,570 --> 00:21:33,573
- and have bigger pecs?
- What for?
411
00:21:33,573 --> 00:21:35,575
Well, he is Rage's best friend. He's...
412
00:21:35,575 --> 00:21:37,577
He should look almost as good.
413
00:21:37,577 --> 00:21:40,080
You got it, Zeph.
414
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,381
You know, speaking of pecs,
415
00:21:41,381 --> 00:21:42,883
it's "Chest of Death" night
416
00:21:42,883 --> 00:21:44,885
at Babylon.
417
00:21:44,885 --> 00:21:46,386
Okay.
418
00:21:46,586 --> 00:21:48,088
So get ready.
419
00:21:48,188 --> 00:21:49,689
We gotta finish this first.
420
00:21:49,689 --> 00:21:51,691
We'll meet you there.
421
00:21:51,691 --> 00:21:53,694
Well just remember, all work and no dick
422
00:21:53,694 --> 00:21:56,797
make Mikey and Sunshine dull boys.
423
00:21:58,299 --> 00:21:59,800
Bring it down, bring it down.
424
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,804
Okay. We're down to our six finalists.
425
00:22:04,305 --> 00:22:08,009
Who's the man with the hottest pecs in Pittsburgh?
426
00:22:08,009 --> 00:22:10,011
Ooh. Honey,
427
00:22:10,011 --> 00:22:12,914
are those nipples or bathtub stoppers?
428
00:22:15,216 --> 00:22:16,717
All right, boys.
429
00:22:16,717 --> 00:22:18,719
Come on, now, let's make some noise!
430
00:22:18,719 --> 00:22:20,721
Let's hear it, Babylon, let's hear it.
431
00:22:20,721 --> 00:22:22,223
That's it, you know how.
432
00:22:24,225 --> 00:22:25,726
To be thrown out,
433
00:22:25,726 --> 00:22:27,728
- like so much garbage.
- I know.
434
00:22:27,728 --> 00:22:29,230
- It was awful.
- By those two huge,
435
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:32,733
- brutal monsters.
- Under other circumstances,
436
00:22:32,733 --> 00:22:35,736
it might've been hot.
437
00:22:35,736 --> 00:22:39,240
Guess I'll never get to say my speech now.
438
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,742
You can say it to me.
439
00:22:41,742 --> 00:22:44,245
I'll listen.
440
00:22:44,245 --> 00:22:47,748
Thanks, Teddy, I...
441
00:22:47,748 --> 00:22:51,752
Wouldn't be the same.
442
00:22:51,752 --> 00:22:53,754
Em...
443
00:22:53,754 --> 00:22:56,257
Something tells me we've been stood up.
444
00:22:56,257 --> 00:22:59,560
Over a comic book.
445
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,064
More than just a comic book.
446
00:23:03,064 --> 00:23:06,067
It's nothing as sexual as the act of creation.
447
00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:08,569
When... when I'm writing, and it's...
448
00:23:08,569 --> 00:23:10,571
it's pouring out of me,
449
00:23:10,571 --> 00:23:13,074
I swear to God, I'm like, completely turned on.
450
00:23:13,574 --> 00:23:15,576
Sometimes, I even get a hard-on.
451
00:23:15,576 --> 00:23:18,079
Is that what they mean by "stroke of genius?"
452
00:23:18,079 --> 00:23:21,082
It's the fucking greatest orgasm there is.
453
00:23:21,082 --> 00:23:23,084
You have your orgasms between the pages,
454
00:23:23,084 --> 00:23:24,585
I'll have mine between the sheets.
455
00:23:24,585 --> 00:23:26,087
Number five,
456
00:23:26,087 --> 00:23:28,589
Do you have anything you'd like
to get off your chest?
457
00:23:28,589 --> 00:23:30,091
How about me?
458
00:23:32,893 --> 00:23:34,895
I bet it's the same with Michael and Justin.
459
00:23:34,895 --> 00:23:36,397
Can I hear a little noise from over here?
460
00:23:36,397 --> 00:23:37,898
What they're sharing
461
00:23:37,898 --> 00:23:41,902
is the most intense form of intimacy there is.
462
00:23:41,902 --> 00:23:44,405
Nothing, not even the hottest fuck
in the world, can come close.
463
00:23:44,405 --> 00:23:48,109
Okay, now... sweetie...
464
00:23:48,109 --> 00:23:50,611
Let's have another drink...
465
00:23:50,611 --> 00:23:52,113
while our boyfriends are cheating on us.
466
00:23:52,613 --> 00:23:54,104
...we're not gonna make him talk, don't worry.
467
00:23:54,115 --> 00:23:56,117
Now, come on, boys, now let's make some noise.
468
00:23:56,617 --> 00:23:59,120
Come on, Babylon. Take it up, come on.
469
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,621
That's it, bring it up...
470
00:24:00,621 --> 00:24:02,123
See?
471
00:24:02,623 --> 00:24:04,625
I told you we could do it.
472
00:24:05,126 --> 00:24:06,627
Yeah, we did it all right.
473
00:24:07,128 --> 00:24:08,129
It's a mess.
474
00:24:08,229 --> 00:24:09,730
It's not so bad.
475
00:24:09,730 --> 00:24:11,232
After we plaster it over,
476
00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:18,039
the few little imperfections won't even show.
477
00:24:22,543 --> 00:24:25,046
Installing your new sink will be... a snap.
478
00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:27,348
Everything with this bitch is a snap.
479
00:24:27,348 --> 00:24:28,849
We've already attached it to the wall
480
00:24:28,849 --> 00:24:30,351
and it only took 20 minutes.
481
00:24:30,351 --> 00:24:32,353
Try 7 hours and 20 minutes.
482
00:24:32,353 --> 00:24:36,357
Now, let's connect the sink to our pipes.
483
00:24:36,357 --> 00:24:37,158
Take your wrench...
484
00:24:37,158 --> 00:24:38,659
- Got it.
- ...and in a strong,
485
00:24:38,659 --> 00:24:39,660
circular motion,
486
00:24:40,161 --> 00:24:43,164
twist the end of the pipe, like so.
487
00:24:43,164 --> 00:24:45,366
That's it. Give it a nice strong grip.
488
00:24:45,366 --> 00:24:49,372
- You'll find this...
- Mel, can you help me out here?
489
00:24:51,372 --> 00:24:53,874
Now we can attach our pipes.
490
00:24:53,874 --> 00:24:56,377
It's a snap.
491
00:24:57,878 --> 00:24:59,280
Luckily,
492
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,781
we turned off the water main first,
493
00:25:00,781 --> 00:25:03,284
or we'd have a disaster on our hands.
494
00:25:03,284 --> 00:25:04,285
Didn't you turn off the water?
495
00:25:04,785 --> 00:25:06,287
I was going to,
496
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:08,289
but then you said, "No, I'll turn it off."
497
00:25:08,289 --> 00:25:10,291
No, that was the power.
498
00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:12,293
I turned off the power when I did the wiring.
499
00:25:12,293 --> 00:25:17,198
You mean, when you blew out the fuses!
500
00:25:17,198 --> 00:25:20,901
There. Now you have running water in your attic.
501
00:25:28,409 --> 00:25:31,412
Come on in.
502
00:25:31,912 --> 00:25:33,914
We're going to have a little contest of our own.
503
00:25:33,914 --> 00:25:35,416
Some power pecs?
504
00:25:35,416 --> 00:25:36,417
Power peckers.
505
00:25:38,419 --> 00:25:40,421
Careful, don't... don't step on anything, it...
506
00:25:40,421 --> 00:25:46,427
it's all in sequence.
507
00:25:46,427 --> 00:25:49,332
Rise and shine, Sunshine.
508
00:26:00,541 --> 00:26:01,542
Shit.
509
00:26:03,844 --> 00:26:05,846
Go down, go down. Yeah.
510
00:26:07,348 --> 00:26:08,849
Party's over.
511
00:26:08,849 --> 00:26:10,351
Come on. Join us.
512
00:26:10,851 --> 00:26:11,852
Get your clothes on.
513
00:26:11,863 --> 00:26:13,354
- Put your clothes back on.
- What the fuck, what the fuck?
514
00:26:13,354 --> 00:26:15,856
Just get out, okay?
515
00:26:15,856 --> 00:26:17,358
Get out!
516
00:26:17,858 --> 00:26:19,360
- Go.
- Fuck you.
517
00:26:25,766 --> 00:26:27,067
Fuck, fuck!
518
00:27:06,907 --> 00:27:08,309
Fuck.
519
00:27:36,737 --> 00:27:38,939
What the fuck?
520
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:40,941
I thought you were Ben.
521
00:27:40,941 --> 00:27:43,444
I thought you were Brian.
522
00:27:43,444 --> 00:27:47,448
- I guess we fell asleep.
- Yeah.
523
00:27:47,948 --> 00:27:49,950
Brian?
524
00:27:49,950 --> 00:27:56,957
He must've slept on the couch.
525
00:27:57,458 --> 00:28:00,966
Michael.
526
00:28:05,966 --> 00:28:08,769
Holy shit!
527
00:28:26,086 --> 00:28:27,087
Did you do this?
528
00:28:27,588 --> 00:28:29,590
Did you?
529
00:28:29,590 --> 00:28:32,893
Answer us.
530
00:28:32,893 --> 00:28:34,895
You are totally fucked.
531
00:28:34,895 --> 00:28:36,897
How dare you piss on our work?
532
00:28:37,398 --> 00:28:38,499
Do you have any idea
533
00:28:38,499 --> 00:28:39,999
The hours that we put into that?
534
00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:41,302
We want an explanation.
535
00:28:41,802 --> 00:28:44,803
Besides the fact that you're the
world's biggest prick.
536
00:28:44,805 --> 00:28:46,307
Well, don't just sit there.
537
00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:49,717
Say something.
538
00:28:56,717 --> 00:28:59,320
Come on, let's go.
539
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,722
One last thing.
540
00:29:01,722 --> 00:29:04,731
You're the one who's pathetic.
541
00:29:11,131 --> 00:29:12,633
Give me a minute between rounds,
542
00:29:12,633 --> 00:29:14,635
then you can have a go at me.
543
00:29:15,035 --> 00:29:17,538
Article 14 of the Super-Mom handbook
544
00:29:17,538 --> 00:29:19,840
says no kicking assholes when they're down.
545
00:29:19,850 --> 00:29:22,343
They'd take away my halo.
546
00:29:22,843 --> 00:29:25,045
I'm not an asshole, I'm just drawn that way.
547
00:29:25,045 --> 00:29:26,547
Well I'm sorry to disagree with you, kiddo,
548
00:29:27,047 --> 00:29:29,049
but this time the likeness is accurate.
549
00:29:29,149 --> 00:29:30,150
I thought you weren't going to beat me up.
550
00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:32,653
Let me finish.
551
00:29:32,653 --> 00:29:36,156
But I understand.
552
00:29:36,156 --> 00:29:37,458
'Cause you're jealous.
553
00:29:37,958 --> 00:29:40,461
I don't do jealous. Jealous is for lesbians.
554
00:29:40,961 --> 00:29:43,364
Well then, you'd better start liking pussy.
555
00:29:43,364 --> 00:29:45,366
'Cause you got a little green-eyed monster inside you
556
00:29:45,366 --> 00:29:47,167
that is eating your gut.
557
00:29:47,167 --> 00:29:50,371
You mean that's not the coffee?
558
00:29:50,371 --> 00:29:52,362
I figured you'd have some smart-ass remark
559
00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:54,475
and deny your feelings as always.
560
00:29:54,475 --> 00:29:57,978
But you don't fool me.
561
00:29:57,978 --> 00:29:59,980
'Cause if you didn't love them as much as you do,
562
00:29:59,980 --> 00:30:01,482
you wouldn't give a shit
563
00:30:01,982 --> 00:30:02,983
that they're spending time together,
564
00:30:03,485 --> 00:30:07,489
and sharing something you're not a part of.
565
00:30:07,989 --> 00:30:08,990
What you don't get is,
566
00:30:08,990 --> 00:30:10,992
that they feel the same way about you.
567
00:30:10,992 --> 00:30:19,401
Even more so.
568
00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:21,302
They worship the ground you walk on.
569
00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:24,005
Or can't you see it?
570
00:30:24,005 --> 00:30:28,910
You're their fucking hero.
571
00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:31,416
At least you were.
572
00:30:41,823 --> 00:30:43,825
It's the Night of Nights.
573
00:30:43,825 --> 00:30:47,328
What everyone in the industry has waited for all year.
574
00:30:47,328 --> 00:30:51,833
When the Grenada Inn is transformed
into an x-Rated Xanadu.
575
00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:54,335
Then, after the ceremonies,
576
00:30:54,335 --> 00:30:55,837
there's the Governor's Ball.
577
00:30:55,837 --> 00:30:59,340
Every porn star will be there, in person.
578
00:30:59,340 --> 00:31:04,045
Zack O'Tool, Roger Morehead, Will Hardin.
579
00:31:04,045 --> 00:31:06,548
Only, this time...
580
00:31:06,548 --> 00:31:09,050
you're one of them, Emmett.
581
00:31:09,050 --> 00:31:14,055
The possible new-cummer of the year.
582
00:31:14,055 --> 00:31:16,057
Pickle?
583
00:31:16,558 --> 00:31:19,060
Did you hear what I just said?
584
00:31:19,060 --> 00:31:23,565
You know, when I put George's sweater on...
585
00:31:23,565 --> 00:31:28,570
I feel like his arms are still around me.
586
00:31:28,570 --> 00:31:32,073
His, uh... his smell's still on it. That, uh...
587
00:31:32,073 --> 00:31:35,577
that delicate combination of vanilla and...
588
00:31:35,577 --> 00:31:37,378
dill.
589
00:31:37,378 --> 00:31:40,381
Emmett... George wouldn't
want you to be a hermit.
590
00:31:40,381 --> 00:31:43,885
He was one. For years.
591
00:31:43,885 --> 00:31:46,387
And now I understand why.
592
00:31:46,387 --> 00:31:48,389
Listen to me.
593
00:31:48,890 --> 00:31:50,391
If you let those people take your pride,
594
00:31:50,391 --> 00:31:53,384
then they've won. It's more important than ever
595
00:31:53,394 --> 00:31:54,896
that you get out and celebrate.
596
00:31:54,896 --> 00:31:57,899
Celebrate what, that I whacked off on your web site?
597
00:31:57,899 --> 00:32:00,902
That you made a lot of people happy.
598
00:32:00,902 --> 00:32:06,407
Especially George.
599
00:32:06,407 --> 00:32:11,412
Sorry, Teddy.
600
00:32:11,412 --> 00:32:15,416
Well, all right. Well that was my last, and my best, plea.
601
00:32:16,918 --> 00:32:21,923
If you win, I'll accept your Crystal Dick.
602
00:32:22,423 --> 00:32:29,931
And tell the world how proud I am of you.
603
00:32:32,734 --> 00:32:34,736
Fucking asshole, he ruined everything.
604
00:32:34,736 --> 00:32:36,738
At least we backed up everything on your computer.
605
00:32:36,738 --> 00:32:38,239
Otherwise we'd really be fucked.
606
00:32:38,239 --> 00:32:39,741
Yeah, now we just have to reprint everything
607
00:32:39,741 --> 00:32:42,233
on another couple hundred dollars'
worth of inkjet paper.
608
00:32:42,243 --> 00:32:45,246
We'll send Brian the bill.
609
00:32:45,747 --> 00:32:48,249
Look, we both know how he can get when he's pissed.
610
00:32:48,249 --> 00:32:49,751
What, that we're doing a comic book?
611
00:32:49,751 --> 00:32:51,753
Well, we did kind of exclude him.
612
00:32:51,753 --> 00:32:53,254
We were working.
613
00:32:53,755 --> 00:32:57,759
In his place. In his face.
614
00:32:58,259 --> 00:33:00,261
Last night, we even wound up in his bed.
615
00:33:00,762 --> 00:33:02,263
It's not like we were fucking.
616
00:33:02,764 --> 00:33:07,769
Well, I guess even a superhero can morph into a jerk.
617
00:33:07,769 --> 00:33:10,772
- Don't tell me you're gonna forgive him.
- Who said that?
618
00:33:10,772 --> 00:33:12,774
Knowing you guys' dysfunctional history,
619
00:33:13,274 --> 00:33:13,775
you'd put up with anything.
620
00:33:14,275 --> 00:33:15,377
Well, you'll be happy to know
621
00:33:15,387 --> 00:33:19,380
that even a glutton for punishment
eventually gets his fill.
622
00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:21,883
All this time, I've been fooling myself.
623
00:33:21,883 --> 00:33:24,385
Thinking he loves me.
624
00:33:24,385 --> 00:33:27,388
He does love you.
625
00:33:27,388 --> 00:33:29,390
You saw his face this morning.
626
00:33:29,401 --> 00:33:31,893
We could've removed his teeth with pliers
and he would've have let us.
627
00:33:32,393 --> 00:33:34,996
Maybe we should've. He deserves it.
628
00:33:35,496 --> 00:33:36,497
Well at least now,
629
00:33:36,497 --> 00:33:38,499
we know what Rage's fatal weakness is,
630
00:33:38,499 --> 00:33:42,503
and it isn't kryptonite.
631
00:33:45,306 --> 00:33:46,808
Ladies and gentlemen,
632
00:33:47,308 --> 00:33:50,812
please welcome last year's winner
for Best Bottom in a gangbang
633
00:33:50,812 --> 00:33:54,816
and three-time nominee for Best Jerk-off, solo,
634
00:33:54,816 --> 00:33:57,318
Buff Thompson and Jason Cox.
635
00:34:03,324 --> 00:34:04,626
Wow, Jace.
636
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:07,629
Three-time nominee for Best Jerk-off.
637
00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:09,130
Are you up this year?
638
00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,132
I'm up every year, Buff.
639
00:34:12,433 --> 00:34:14,636
Maybe this time I'll pull it off.
640
00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:16,638
Don't pull it off, or you'll never win.
641
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,043
Now, let's get to the nominees.
642
00:34:22,043 --> 00:34:24,746
In the porn site category, the nominees...
643
00:34:24,746 --> 00:34:29,651
for Best New-Cummer of the Year are...
644
00:34:29,651 --> 00:34:31,653
Max Pullman.
645
00:34:32,153 --> 00:34:34,355
Harry Lynch.
646
00:34:34,355 --> 00:34:37,058
Fetch Dixon.
647
00:34:37,058 --> 00:34:39,661
Joey Horn.
648
00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:42,964
And the winner is...
649
00:34:42,964 --> 00:34:44,465
Fetch Dixon.
650
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:46,668
Yes! Yes!
651
00:34:46,668 --> 00:34:50,675
Oh, yes! Yes! Whoo!
652
00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:55,681
Oh, yeah, baby. Whoo!
653
00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:08,189
Oh... wow.
654
00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:09,691
All those years watching Jason Cox,
655
00:35:10,191 --> 00:35:12,193
I can't believe I finally got to shake his hand...
656
00:35:13,194 --> 00:35:17,198
The Hand.
657
00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:20,001
Oh, my God.
658
00:35:20,501 --> 00:35:22,003
To be holding a Crystal Dick...
659
00:35:24,005 --> 00:35:26,808
Such a thrill.
660
00:35:28,309 --> 00:35:30,611
Um... oh, uh... no, I'm...
661
00:35:30,611 --> 00:35:33,114
I'm not, uh, Fetch, uh, Dixon.
662
00:35:33,114 --> 00:35:35,616
Um, I'm... I'm here, uh,
663
00:35:35,616 --> 00:35:37,618
accepting for him tonight, uh, because...
664
00:35:37,618 --> 00:35:39,120
- He was...
- Because...
665
00:35:43,224 --> 00:35:44,726
boys...
666
00:35:45,026 --> 00:35:46,527
without you, Ted Schmidt,
667
00:35:46,527 --> 00:35:49,030
I would never be here tonight.
668
00:36:02,543 --> 00:36:05,546
Uh... thank you. Um...
669
00:36:05,546 --> 00:36:08,549
This award, uh, means a... a lot to me.
670
00:36:08,549 --> 00:36:10,551
More than you'll ever know.
671
00:36:10,551 --> 00:36:13,054
Uh... if I hadn't been on, um...
672
00:36:13,054 --> 00:36:15,056
jerk@work.net,
673
00:36:15,556 --> 00:36:19,560
I never would've met the most
wonderful man I've ever known,
674
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,562
George Schickel.
675
00:36:21,562 --> 00:36:22,764
Shickel's Pickles?
676
00:36:22,764 --> 00:36:25,266
The pickle people prefer?
677
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,770
Um, I, uh... I have this speech prepared.
678
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:31,780
Didn't think I'd get a chance to read it.
679
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,182
To the world,
680
00:36:41,182 --> 00:36:46,187
George Schickel was a man
of prominence and wealth.
681
00:36:46,687 --> 00:36:51,192
But to me, he was just... George.
682
00:36:51,692 --> 00:36:56,197
Loving, affectionate, a boy at heart
683
00:36:56,197 --> 00:37:01,702
who just wanted to love another boy.
684
00:37:01,702 --> 00:37:06,707
I was lucky enough to be that boy.
685
00:37:07,208 --> 00:37:12,213
I like to think I brought a little fun into his life.
686
00:37:12,213 --> 00:37:16,717
But what he gave me was... so much more.
687
00:37:16,717 --> 00:37:20,723
Some... something all his money couldn't buy.
688
00:37:22,723 --> 00:37:24,225
He made me...
689
00:37:24,225 --> 00:37:27,234
feel like I was somebody.
690
00:37:33,234 --> 00:37:36,237
I love you, Georgie.
691
00:37:36,237 --> 00:37:37,738
What we had for a...
692
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:39,740
for a few short months
693
00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:44,245
was more than most people have in a lifetime.
694
00:37:44,245 --> 00:37:45,746
Thank you.
695
00:38:09,370 --> 00:38:12,373
I'm glad you two dames
finally came to your senses.
696
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:14,877
If you'd made any more of a mess,
697
00:38:14,877 --> 00:38:16,879
I'd have to detonate, not renovate.
698
00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:21,383
Okay we know, we know, we really screwed up.
699
00:38:21,884 --> 00:38:22,874
Big time, babe.
700
00:38:22,885 --> 00:38:24,487
But, it's not too late.
701
00:38:24,497 --> 00:38:27,389
So, how long do you think it'll take
to undo the damage?
702
00:38:27,390 --> 00:38:31,397
All depends on the triangle of expectation.
703
00:38:35,397 --> 00:38:38,700
You can have it fast...
704
00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:42,704
and cheap, but it won't be good.
705
00:38:43,205 --> 00:38:44,206
You can have it good and fast,
706
00:38:44,206 --> 00:38:45,207
but that won't be cheap.
707
00:38:45,207 --> 00:38:48,710
Or you can have it cheap and good,
708
00:38:48,710 --> 00:38:51,213
but it won't be fast.
709
00:38:51,213 --> 00:38:53,715
So in other words, it'll be ready
next Tu BiShvat.
710
00:38:53,715 --> 00:38:56,718
Or Christmas, whichever comes first.
711
00:38:56,718 --> 00:38:59,221
But not to worry, ladies...
712
00:38:59,221 --> 00:39:01,723
you won't even know I'm here.
713
00:39:01,723 --> 00:39:03,725
Oh...
714
00:39:03,725 --> 00:39:06,228
Oh.
715
00:39:09,531 --> 00:39:11,533
Well, good night, Leeds.
716
00:39:11,533 --> 00:39:14,536
Good night... sugar-lips.
717
00:39:14,536 --> 00:39:17,048
I'll be right up.
718
00:39:26,048 --> 00:39:29,051
I just want to say how grateful I am you're doing this.
719
00:39:29,051 --> 00:39:32,554
And how happy I am you're here.
720
00:39:32,554 --> 00:39:36,058
You and me both, otherwise I'd be sleeping in the park.
721
00:39:36,558 --> 00:39:40,562
Although I must admit, I had my reservations.
722
00:39:41,063 --> 00:39:43,065
I know.
723
00:39:43,065 --> 00:39:45,567
But you've got nothing to worry about.
724
00:39:45,567 --> 00:39:49,071
Mel loves you very much.
725
00:39:49,571 --> 00:39:52,698
Thanks.
726
00:40:16,698 --> 00:40:19,201
- What the fuck?
- Everything's back.
727
00:40:19,701 --> 00:40:23,205
Careful, boys.
728
00:40:23,205 --> 00:40:24,706
Don't step on anything.
729
00:40:25,007 --> 00:40:28,510
All right, Kinney, what's going on?
730
00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:31,313
I read your shit. It's fucking good.
731
00:40:31,313 --> 00:40:33,215
And the artwork is...
732
00:40:33,215 --> 00:40:34,716
art.
733
00:40:35,217 --> 00:40:37,719
But that's to be expected.
734
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,621
Don't try talking your way out of this
with compliments, dickhead.
735
00:40:39,621 --> 00:40:42,113
Yeah, and don't think that just by putting
everything back the way it was,
736
00:40:42,124 --> 00:40:43,125
we're just going to forget.
737
00:40:43,125 --> 00:40:46,128
- You owe us an apology.
- So start begging.
738
00:40:46,128 --> 00:40:48,630
I'm sorry.
739
00:40:48,630 --> 00:40:50,132
That's not good enough.
740
00:40:50,132 --> 00:40:51,133
What the fuck do you want me to do,
741
00:40:51,633 --> 00:40:52,534
grovel?
742
00:40:52,534 --> 00:40:57,939
Mean it.
743
00:40:57,939 --> 00:41:00,442
What I did was immature,
744
00:41:00,442 --> 00:41:02,444
childish, vindictive.
745
00:41:02,944 --> 00:41:03,945
It was an act of cruelty
746
00:41:04,046 --> 00:41:06,048
based on irrational fears and unfounded...
747
00:41:06,448 --> 00:41:09,453
jealousy.
748
00:41:11,453 --> 00:41:15,957
If I were the two of you,
I'd never speak to me again.
749
00:41:16,458 --> 00:41:17,959
That's better.
750
00:41:17,959 --> 00:41:20,462
That's really good.
751
00:41:20,462 --> 00:41:21,963
So why is it that I prefer you
752
00:41:21,963 --> 00:41:24,466
when you're shameless and unapologetic?
753
00:41:24,466 --> 00:41:26,468
Now, here's the deal.
754
00:41:26,468 --> 00:41:27,969
Finish your work,
755
00:41:27,969 --> 00:41:28,970
and build up my chin.
756
00:41:28,970 --> 00:41:30,972
I'm a superhero, for Christ's sakes.
757
00:41:30,972 --> 00:41:33,475
And when you're done, I'll put
together a marketing campaign
758
00:41:33,475 --> 00:41:38,480
that'll make every fag on the internet
want to buy it.
759
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,482
That is, if...
760
00:41:40,982 --> 00:41:43,190
you want me to.
761
00:41:48,190 --> 00:41:55,697
- Deal.
- Deal.
762
00:41:59,601 --> 00:42:02,404
So where'd we leave off?
763
00:42:02,404 --> 00:42:04,406
Oh, yeah. Where, um...
764
00:42:04,406 --> 00:42:07,609
Zephyr gets jealous.
765
00:42:07,609 --> 00:42:11,612
Good. Rage took J.T. Back to his lair,
on top of Theopolis.
766
00:42:12,114 --> 00:42:14,116
- Right.
- Then they had amazing sex.
767
00:42:14,616 --> 00:42:17,119
- Wait. Where's Zephyr now?
- I don't know.
768
00:42:17,119 --> 00:42:18,919
Getting his tights?
769
00:42:19,419 --> 00:42:21,819
You know, Zephyr gets to have sex
once in a while too.
54196
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.