All language subtitles for The.Santa.Clauses.S02E02.1080p.WEB.H264-EDITH

- All rise.
- You know, let's not do that today, okay?

But protocol. I
have a list here.

You know, protocol's
really Betty's thing.

Um, if I recall, you were the one who
came up with the "all rise" thing, sir.

It's a vivid memory.

You know, you actually
looked a lot younger then.

Edie, why don't you take a seat next
to Noel down there for today, okay?

Okay.

All right. Everybody,
sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

Listen. Real special day today,

'cause we're transitioning to
include the family in the business.

- Mm-hmm.
- So my family's gonna be joining us

here at the big meetings.

You know Cal. Of
course Mrs. Claus.

- Sandra is…
- Just doing Sandra things.

Sandra is just doing
Sandra things right now,

but we have some big news.

Let's start with Mrs. Claus.

Okay. Um, as you all know, I
have taken over the E.L.F.S.,

and we are on the case of
the missing nutcracker.

I mean, who
needs a nutcracker really?

I'm with you,
Edie. A nutcracker?

Just get a spare shoe.
Boom. Nut is cracked.

I think, more interesting is,

we should be looking into those missing
pages of The Book of Santa Lore.

Some mystery Santa Claus
called "Magnus Anthill."

- No, no, no. It's, uh...
- Magnus Antas.

Shh.

I just like being right.

- Huh. Missing pages.
- Yeah.

Maybe it's somehow connected.

- To the nutcracker?
- Yeah.

Well, i-it could be. Listen.

Bigger news, though, is Cal's training
to be the next Santa starts today.

Whoo-hoo! Go, Cal! Whoo!

In order to do the job,
you gotta look the part,

so the elves and I made
you a training vest.

Give it a shot. Look at this.
Try it on there. There you go.

Awesome!

I feel like a Girl Scout.

- Well, w-w... Okay.
- Yeah.

And some of the fabric in that
came out of Saint Nicholas's coat,

so it's full of magic.

And this needs to
be respected, Son.

I like how it's
a vest instead of a coat.

Really shows off
your arms.

Uh, thanks again, Dad,
for letting Riley stay.

No, it's great. As long as it doesn't
interfere with what we do around here.

No, no. It-It won't.

See? They're-They're...
They're good.

Okay. Well, let's get to it.

How about this one?

What do you call a jalapeño
that went to medical school?

Doctor Pepper.

That's hysterical. Tip
your waitresses, everybody.

Listen. This... These jokes are great,
but w-why did you fly to the North Pole?

I mean, did-did-did I forget
Valentine's Day or something?

What are you up to?

Take it easy. I'm not
spying on you, all right?

Well, why are you here?

Again, not spying.

Let me preface this by saying
don't shoot the messenger.

Some of the Legendaries, uh, Mother
Nature, Easter Bunny, Sandman...

Okay, all of them are a little concerned
about your son being the next Santa.

How did they know about that?

I told them. I'm spying on you.

I thought the deal was we don't
interfere in each other's business.

Yeah, that was until you left
us in the dark all last year.

You retired too soon,
chose the wrong successor,

and then came back
and got rid of him.

Like a hero.

Sorry, Dad. Riley needed
a pick-me-up.

Where is the thermostat?
It is so cold here.

Guys, I'm having a meeting.

Oh! Sorry, Dad.

And sorry, Mr. Cupid.

- Aw, you're such a little baby.
- Am not.

Aw. Peekaboo!

Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Aw.

- Guys.
- Sorry. Yeah.

Well, that was humiliating.

- Ooh, what's that?
- Isn't it cool?

You don't happen to have an
arrow that stops love, do ya?

Ah, life just does that.

Plus there's nothing I can do
for these two. That's first love.

No magic can
overcome first love.

I'm just worried about Cal.

And despite all the
things you've heard,

I really believe that Cal has what
it takes to be the next Santa.

That's tough, because I really
only deal in romantic love.

Plus, as you know,
I can't have kids.

How would I know that?

Although, I have observed that nothing
will break the heart like family.

Right. Family. My
family, my business.

I don't think there's any reason
for you guys to step in there

and start pointing fingers.

- You know, I could do the same.
- Could not.

- Could too.
- Really?

Does Mrs. Cupid
know that it took,

like, five and a half
arrows to get her attention?

Okay, I'll talk to the others.

Get 'em to calm down.

But if Cal's not Santa material
in three months, we're meddling.

W-W-Wait, before
you go...

Have you heard of a old... a previous
Santa called, uh, "Magi Agi"?

No, no. Um, "Magnus Angina."

- Magnus Antas?
- Yes.

Never heard of him.

You just said his name.

Truth be told, all
you Santas look alike.

Yeah. Well, fly home safe, or run
into something cold and sharp.

Santa asking about
the missing book pages.

Mrs. Claus looking
for the nutcracker.

When they find out they're
both looking for the Mad Santa,

they're gonna be so mad.

And then we'll have another
Mad Santa. The cycle repeats.

Get ahold of yourself!

Um, did
you just shake me?

Yes, which is bad 'cause I'm
usually the shooken, not the shaker.

Relax, Edie.

It would take an insane amount of
magic to get him out of the nutcracker.

Good. Because if Mad
Santa ever gets free,

he'll unleash his
fury on the world.

So you're
telling me, with this slab,

I can communicate with
others, take self-etchings,

and order gruel and
herring at the same time?

What a wonderful world this is.

♪ My stepmother wants to boil me
So her son inherits the clock ♪

♪ And a happy New Year ♪

That is not how it ends.

Oh, this is incredible.

I-I can't believe I'm standing here
singing with the real Santa Claus.

- Magnus Antas.
- Yeah.

But we're friends now, so you may
call me the Magnificent Magnus Antas.

I notice that you have a little
more movement in your arms and legs.

You think maybe I... I
can get that hug now?

Approach.

Bring
it in. Bring it in.

What's that on your back?

Olga!

You were frozen with me?

Olga. I... Is that your elf?

No, no. She's a gnome.

Gnome? Since when does
Santa Claus have gnomes?

I-I invested all this
money in elf ears.

Elves.

- She's adorable.
- No. No. She...

- She will bite you.
- Yeah, I see that.

Scott.

Did you notice the elves acting weird
when the nutcracker was mentioned?

900-year-olds that look
like kids with pointy ears.

What's not weird about that?

I've said it before, the
constant secrecy around here is bonkers.

Yeah, I hear what you're saying.

'Cause I'm still looking for that
beautiful red sweater that I have

that says, "I see you
when you're sleeping."

And the elves, they don't
know what happened to it.

Oh. Yeah. That's weird.

You know what else is weird,
is wh-what's with our daughter?

I'm doing all this work to
keep the family together,

kind of hard without
the family together.

She's going through
some changes.

She's discovered that she
has extraordinary powers.

That's daunting.
I've been through it.

It requires self-reflection
and listening.

Yeah, those are definitely
your superpowers.

I'll have a chat with her.

I think that her problems may be
less magical and more biological.

Puberty.

- You talk to her.
- You can't go to a teenage girl.

You have to let
them come to you.

It's like cats.

Bambina, come in.

Oy.

Oh, something happened.

Tell La Befana.

I shot a spark from my hand.

Ooh.

I was so frustrated.

To be honest, ever since animals
realized that I can understand them,

it's been a lot.

Yes, if they have a sympathetic ear,
they never stop with the yakety-yakking.

Except, funny enough, yaks.

They don't have much to say.

But I can help you
with the animals.

It's weird because, well, Cal
and I both have magic, right?

But he got the
fancy Santa powers,

- and I'm stuck with whatever this is.
- Mmm.

The North Pole is otherworldly.

Full of magical beings.

Not just Santa magic. All kinds.

I am not the only witch
who has called this home.

And when I look at you…

Wait.

Are you saying that
I might be a witch?

Well, you are very pretty,
but there is still time.

Your wart is coming in.

I think it is a nose one.

- I don't see it. I'm...
- Just like mine.

- It is, like, cute.
- No.

- And we are like twins with warts.
- No. It's not cute, and we are not twins.

- No?
- Because that is a freckle.

- That is a freckle.
- Oh.

You know what? Maybe I'm
like a Sugar Plum Fairy.

Like something more Christmassy?

You are a human born
at the North Pole.

Who knows how this
could develop?

But tell me what
happened with your hand.

I-I was really annoyed.

And I had all of these
bottled-up feelings,

and I wanted to get them
out, so I went like this.

Like...

Now I look like
a stupid, dumb dummy!

Oh.

So it only happens
when you are mad.

This is not good. It is very
Italian, but it is not good.

But I can help you.

Do your parents know?

No. If it's not free or has nothing to
do with Christmas, my dad won't get it.

Okay. I cannot help you if they
don't know that I'm helping you.

Your papa is a Santa.

He's more cordial to me
than those of the past.

I would like to
keep it that way.

Fine. I will tell them.

Just for you.

And don't worry,
I will clean up.

Nice.

Wh-What are you
doing in my house?

I'm s... I'm s...

Who takes cookies from a pregnant woman?

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Congratulations. You're dead.

Okay, the entry was not bad.

But you went right to
eating one of the cookies.

You save the cookies
till the end, all right?

- Oh.
- And why were you wrestling with the tree?

That's a fleetwood
pine. Very noncombative.

Just try to get along
with the tree, okay?

We got three months to
work this thing out.

Wait, wait, wait. What about...
What about three months? What?

Never mind.

You did awesome, Floofy.

Thanks, Floofy.

- Floofy?
- Oh, yeah.

That's our nickname for each
other. Isn't it so cute?

I don't know. Uh, why don't
you ask the real Floofy?

All right. I wanna reset this,
okay? Load it up again, guys.

All right. We're
gonna do it again.

"Elfstorations." Oh, man.

Hey, Kris. Why's
the museum closed?

My snow globe actually turned into a
Santa and a gnome from the 14th century.

Now I gotta go find 'em
some pickled goat leg.

You know how it is.

Kris, if you need to talk,
I'll be around, okay?

Uh, you know I'd love
to stay and chat,

but I promised I'd hurry
back so, uh, gotta run.

Oh, man. Could
my day get any better?

Oh, boy. I do not want to have
to start looking for another job.

It's time to go to war.

Take back what
was taken from us.

Kill everyone!

Or… no.

The murder, the hostility, the revenge,
it all just seems like a lot, Olga.

I'm happy. I'm free.

I'm comfortable.

I was a-a nutcracker
for seven centuries.

Where's the Santa
I used to know?

Your motto used to
be "churn and burn."

I was overtired.
I was overworked.

That 700-year nap,
it hit the spot.

And this Kris fellow, he
seems like a pleasant soul.

In his dwelling, I have not
seen one club, one guillotine.

We have to think that
people have changed.

Have you not learned anything from
those reality dating shows he watches?

Hmm.

People never change.

Well, you'll just
have to give it time.

I'm not
here to make friends.

Open your mind to the possibility
that humanity has evolved

and there's no more animosity.

Listen to yourself! You're
getting soft like a wet cashew.

What about those who wronged us?

Sometimes you just
have to let things go.

Oh. Look, I got
the feeling back into my arms.

Okay.

Deserved it.

- Dad?
- Hi.

Um, I'm sorry I missed
the meeting earlier.

I'm just going through stuff.

Um, I know... I know
you are. Ar-Are you?

I-I think you are. I mean,
I'm just glad you're better.

Thank you.

Um, can I hang out with
La Befana for a bit?

That would be very kind of you.

She could probably
use company right now.

It must be difficult having people
be scared of you all the time, right?

Scared?

I-It's not-not her fault.

- I mean, she's a good one.
- A good one?

She's a witch.

Really? I
didn't know that.

Well, it happens to all of them.

Them? Who is them?

God, you're so judgmental.

C-C-Carol.

Gary, I was checking
old security footage.

Uh-oh.

Yeah. "Uh-oh."

All of the cameras are
pointed at La Befana's cabin.

And she hasn't done anything.

What about
crimes of the heart?

Gary, it was one
date, 200 years ago.

You have to get over it.

Hey, any luck convincing the
old E.L.F.S. to come back?

They all said it was a
toxic work environment.

Go figure.

- Mmm.
- Mom?

There she is. Hi.

If you ever need to talk
about anything, I'm here.

- Female stuff. Believe it or not, I...
- Gary! Please.

No, I just feel like we
should hang out, you know?

- Mmm. Sounds fun.
- Yeah.

What do you think of La Befana?

- Well, actually...
- Hey.

I have tremendous respect for any
woman who isn't defined by a man.

- I mean, it's The Befana, right?
- Right. Mm-hmm.

It's not Mrs. Befana.

Okay. So, sister solidarity
aside, what do you think of her?

Well, I think she's kooky.
Really sweet.

Like kooky... How d...
How do you mean kooky?

She's a witch. It's nothing but spiders
and cobwebs up there, literally.

You and Dad are the same.
What is wrong with you?

Hey, no, no, no. Sandra?

Hey. What did I say? I know
what you're going through!

Scott!

Now lift the owl
feather with your mind.

That was amazing. Oh, my gosh.

Now, the plant.

Mamma mia!

Here we go again.

I don't know why
this keeps happening.

Magic takes focus.

There must be something on your mind
because you are all loopy boopy.

No idea what you're
talking about.

You know, I can
see your thoughts.

Fine. I meant to tell my
parents, but they don't get it.

You know, I can't
really see your thoughts,

but part of being a good
witch is to trick people.

You have to tell them,
or I can't teach you.

And if you don't get help
controlling your powers,

there's no telling
where this might lead.

Okay. I have it under control.

Ooh.

I don't have
it under control.

You know, that was one
of my favorite hats.

I'm so sorry.

Shoot. Lost again.

Good game, Gary.

Did you complete the analysis on the
hair we found on the nutcracker safe?

Yes. You were right.

It's hair.

Whose is it?

They asked me if I wanted to know
that, and I said don't bother.

I'll send it back.

Oh, my God.

Okay, listen, in order to
be a perfect future Santa,

you gotta learn from the
Santas that came before you.

But didn't you only
do that last month?

God, I miss Betty.

- Let's just get to the history.
- Uh, right. Okay.

Well, what we know as Santa,

all began with Saint Nicholas
honoring the birth of Jesus.

Which is a perfect
place to start.

But let's move ahead to
the "Magnus Cum Laude."

Or the... You know,
the... the guy.

Uh, right.

Well, like most Santas before him,
Magnus Antas was based in Europe.

Times were tough and humans tried to take
advantage of both Christmas and elf magic.

So, Magnus Antas moved the operation
to a place where magic flourished

without threat from the outside.

The journey there was arduous.

It was a giant magic
snowball. It was so fun.

Magnus Antas invited elves
from all over the world

but made treaties with the
others inhabiting these parts.

Witches, fairies,

gnomes.

He built a utopia.

Which is when I first
came here and met Betty.

Ooh, I wanna hear about that.

We're not here to talk
about you and Betty.

I'd like to hear about it too.

It all started in
the 12th century.

It was day.

No. Night.

No. Day.

Anyone ever notice how it's hard
to tell what time it is here?

A new snowball's arriving today.

Wanna see if there's any
handsome elves?

Edie, this is how
you always get in trouble.

Oh, my gosh.
They're already here.

Wow. This place is amazing. I'm
gonna be so happy living here.

Not me.

This looks like a place to make
a quick fortune and move on.

Sucker. Rube. Mark. Soup. Chump.

Hey, toots. You know where I
can find a nice bath and a cot?

Are you talking to me?

I'm not Toots. He's the Head
Elf. And it's pronounced Toots.

Oh. You just look like you
should be the Head Elf.

Head Elf? Me?

Order me
another grouse of legs.

Here comes Toots now, with
the Great One himself.

I'm thinking about changing my
greeting from "wanga-banga-langa"

to a simple "ho ho ho."

Genius. What a day.

First, going to a bigger
belt buckle, and now this.

Mmm. Yes.

I see you staring at my belt buckle.
What are your thoughts? Too garish?

It's spectacular, sir.

Mmm. Thank you, um…

Betty.

- B-B-Betty?
- Betty.

- Betty.
- I got it right. Right, Betty?

- Betty.
- Betty.

Betty.

Let's go, Toots.

It's Toots.

Do not correct me, please.

Let's get out of here.

Go to the tavern.

You two play darts?

Never tried, but sounds fun.

I'm gonna finish this job.

I'm gonna stay behind too.

Suit yourself.

Keep an eye on her.
She's terrible at darts.

I never miss.

My name's Noel. At least it was.

Let me guess. Processing
center shortened it to Noel?

- Yeah.
- I used to be Bethina.

After a whirlwind 200-year
courtship, Betty and I made it official.

- We left on our honeymoon.
- Honeymoon, yeah.

That is the greatest love
story I've ever heard.

Next to ours.

We're like Romeo and Juliet.

And boy, that ended well.

Wait a minute. Betty told me
she never left the North Pole.

She gets confused sometimes.

The point is, by the time we
returned to the North Pole,

the Magnus Antas reign was over. Which
is why I don't know how it ended.

Me too. I was gone too.

You know what's really amazing is
I've never heard of him before.

When I was in the Yule-verse,
I-I don't remember meeting him.

Uh, well, I'm sure he was
there. He was just, uh, very…

- Quiet. Quiet.
- Quiet. And unassuming.

Yes, it is me, Magnus Antas!

Bask in my glow!

You're welcome. You're
welcome!

Blessed are ye! You're welcome.

W-Where did you get all
the figs and walnuts?

Do not question the
Great One, you peasant.

Okay. Okay. But-But now that I'm
with the real Santa, how'd I do?

How close is this to
the real North Pole?

Well, instead of
reindeer, you have goats.

- That's the only difference?
- Winning.

It's enchanting. Is-Is the rest
of the world like this now?

Well, if it was, I wouldn't have
to build this place, now, would I?

Ah, yes. Ah.

- There you are. You're welcome.
- Hey!

Elves.

So, this Magnus Antas was the first Santa
to close the North Pole to outsiders.

Sounds like a... a
very, very wise Santa.

He was something.
Really something.

Well, these old Santas
really raised the bar.

So we're gonna have to
double down on your training.

Oh. You're already
number one in my book, Floofy.

Yeah. Get your head in the game, Floofy.

You think he bought it?

Hopefully no one ever spills the
beans about what really happened.

Betty, let's get out of here.

I'm working. I'll be home soon.

No. Out of here, out of
here. Before it's too late.

Edie, Gary, Crouton,
Pontoon, they're all going.

There's nothing
here for us anymore.

Ever since Santa started listening
to the gnomes and went mad.

There's Christmas.

Our purpose.

What else do we have?
Where would we go?

I'd rather stay and fight for
what we have than run away.

Who's running away?

Don't I give you everything?

You're just like everyone else in
the world, always wanting more.

Well, no one's
leaving here. Ever.

I thought we were here to keep
the world out, not to keep us in.

What's the difference?

Olga!

Take them away! Roughly!

Don't listen to
the gnomes, Santa!

Their tongues are as untrustworthy
as their unnaturally round ears!

Don't worry about it. It's fine.

Can't we get, like, a wooden
throne or something?

N-Nope, never mind. The ice
sets a tone. Sets a tone.

Well, will you look at that?

I was the first Santa to say "ho ho
ho", and they're still using it today.

I matter.

You're not Santa.

Oh, really?

Then I guess you don't want
these figs and walnuts?

I want Roblox.

Who is this Roblox they keep
speaking of? Is he another Santa?

What did he invent?
Certainly not good manners!

Roblox is
actually online gaming.

It's really, really
hard to explain.

But, yeah, kids aren't always grateful
for simple pleasures these days.

Parents too.

What more do they want? They
have miracles in their hands.

Mom!

- I know. We try to give 'em…
- Let's go.

…an escape from it all,
but doesn't always work.

I will cane all of you!

- Cute.
- Ew!

What? No.

No! No! No!

It's "ho ho ho," fake Santa.

You little scalawag!

If I had my amulet, I'd
turn you into Roblox!

Assuming that's bad.

It would be bad to
turn him into a Roblox.

Good.

That's what I'd turn
him into then. A Roblox.

It says here that the first
artifacts went missing decades ago,

and that each case was investigated
by you and declared unsolvable.

Let me see that.

Hey! What'd you do?

Sometimes electrical equipment
shorts out around me.

It's the darnedest thing.

You should have
that checked out.

I'll add that to my list.

Hey!

"Hide
nutcracker evidence."

I didn't write that.

I don't know anything about Magnus
Antas being trapped as a nutcracker.

Wait.

I'm not saying another word
without my lawyer present.

Who's your lawyer?

I represent myself.

And I've been disbarred.

Oh, good. You're home.

Today was horrible. I'm
under so much pressure.

But I think I got everyone
off the Mad Santa track.

You're right. Where are my
manners? How was your day?

Hey, Sandra. Sandra, hold
on. Come in here a minute.

So, um... So what's...
what's going on?

Nothing. Just normal,
regular girl stuff.

Yeah.

Wait a second. L-Listen, listen.

I realize that I've been spending a-a lot
of time with Cal, and it's-it's not fair.

And you have every right to be upset
that one day Cal's gonna be Santa Claus.

Oh. No. I mean... Well, yeah.

Yeah, I guess I was a little at
first, but seriously, it's cool.

Yeah, well, he's got a lot of powers
that need to be dealt with, okay?

And so do you. And I want
you part of this whole thing.

There's no Christmas
without you, honey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Uh, I... I don't think I can finish
all this ice cream by myself.

Pretty sure you can.

Probably, but,
hey, grab a spoon.

Elves bells!
How did you do that?

Dad… …I have
to tell you something.

I think I'm becoming a witch.

Look, my powers have been getting stronger
ever since we got back to the North Pole.

And La Befana says it's
because of Christmas spirit.

La Befana?

We've been training together.

I'm really sorry that I didn't
just come to you.

So that's it?

Yeah. You-You're not mad?

Am I
mad? Well, who am I?

Santa Claus.

And where do we live?

The North Pole.

Are you okay? Do I
need to call someone?

Our family isn't normal.

We're all full of magic.

And you'd have to do a lot worse
than becoming a witch to scare me.

You are so much
more than a witch, my dear.

You're a Claus.

And many other things,
but mostly you're a Claus.

You're the best, Dad.

Okay.

I'm gonna eat this
by myself then.

Hi, Mom. Bye, Mom.

Hey. What?

She's so happy. What is that?

Oh, we had a nice conversation.

It's not about
puberty. She's a witch.

Oh. Oh!

I should go talk to her.

- No. No. I'm gonna let her come to me.
- Ah.

- I was right.
- About?

About the missing pages from your
book and the nutcracker. Yes.

Right, right. Okay. Go. Go.

- It all traces back to Magnus Antas.
- Of course.

Somehow, he got turned
into a nutcracker.

- Could that happen to any Santa?
- I guess.

And then Gary sold it on the black
market to pay for his gambling debts.

Gary loves to play
the My Little Ponies.

Mmm, yeah. And the elves are
being really cagey about it.

Is that something for
us to worry about?

I don't know.

Oh, after 700 years,
people are only getting worse!

And now this new Santa wants
to reward them with magic!

Magic!

- What's that on your back?
- What?

"Jingle bells. Santa smells"!

Oh! That's it. I tried to
play nice, but no more.

We are going to take
back the North Pole,

and when we end this weak
Santa, the whole world will pay!

Let's get some rest. Okay?

Sorry.

After seven centuries, it's
the only way I can sleep.

All right. All right!

If you're gonna sleep on my
back, I need you to be quiet.

Let's do one more together. Here we go.

And we're done.