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1
00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:04,688
You can't go on a date and go,
number one or number two question,
2
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:07,648
"So, when do you want children?"
3
00:00:07,673 --> 00:00:09,898
It's against the rules of dating.
4
00:00:11,034 --> 00:00:13,409
Hello. Hello. How are you doing?
5
00:00:13,434 --> 00:00:15,648
This, you can break all those rules.
6
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:20,259
Human beings have been
making babies forever...
7
00:00:20,284 --> 00:00:22,009
Nice to meet you.
8
00:00:22,034 --> 00:00:24,369
...but how some of us do it
is changing.
9
00:00:24,394 --> 00:00:25,729
You have beautiful hair.
10
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F
11
00:00:28,034 --> 00:00:29,799
70,000 people in the UK
12
00:00:29,824 --> 00:00:32,619
are thought to be advertising
themselves online
13
00:00:32,644 --> 00:00:34,448
as a prospective co-parent.
14
00:00:34,473 --> 00:00:36,339
It's all a bit surreal, isn't it?
15
00:00:36,364 --> 00:00:38,648
No, no, it's just two people,
meeting,
16
00:00:38,673 --> 00:00:39,898
having a child...
17
00:00:41,364 --> 00:00:44,568
Strangers having babies together
outside a sexual relationship...
18
00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:46,009
THEY LAUGH
19
00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:48,059
é
20
00:00:48,084 --> 00:00:50,619
...goes against the fundamental
traditions of romance.
21
00:00:50,644 --> 00:00:52,929
I wanted to meet somebody
and fall in love,
22
00:00:52,954 --> 00:00:54,809
but it hasn't happened.
23
00:00:54,834 --> 00:00:56,169
It's now or never.
24
00:00:56,194 --> 00:00:58,849
I need to have children,
and I want to have children.
25
00:00:58,874 --> 00:01:02,129
Now, without the complication
of finding love...
26
00:01:02,154 --> 00:01:04,979
é
27
00:01:05,004 --> 00:01:07,528
...these would-be parents
are throwing themselves
28
00:01:07,553 --> 00:01:09,568
into a ground-breaking scheme...
29
00:01:09,593 --> 00:01:11,849
It's a combination of science,
30
00:01:11,874 --> 00:01:13,369
but also looking at the people.
31
00:01:13,394 --> 00:01:16,979
...a first of its kind, run by
fertility and dating experts.
32
00:01:17,004 --> 00:01:19,729
If you can laugh and share,
33
00:01:19,754 --> 00:01:22,209
that's hopefully going to see you
through.
34
00:01:23,314 --> 00:01:26,139
They're out to prove that
when it comes to parenthood,
35
00:01:26,164 --> 00:01:27,729
there's a new dawn.
36
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,809
I feel really nervous now.
I feel really scared!
37
00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:33,089
But does redefining relationships...
38
00:01:33,114 --> 00:01:34,929
He comments a lot about my looks.
39
00:01:34,954 --> 00:01:36,729
...go against human nature?
40
00:01:36,754 --> 00:01:39,289
É
41
00:01:39,314 --> 00:01:41,289
And can a platonic arrangement...
42
00:01:41,314 --> 00:01:44,259
This decision is huge.
People don't do this everyday.
43
00:01:44,284 --> 00:01:46,528
He's such an amazing guy, too.
44
00:01:46,553 --> 00:01:48,619
...actually lead to making babies?
45
00:01:48,644 --> 00:01:51,169
É
46
00:01:52,553 --> 00:01:54,499
I'm afraid of losing him.
47
00:02:05,754 --> 00:02:08,419
LAUGHTER
You're so cheesy!
48
00:02:08,444 --> 00:02:11,778
...nanny Venicia rebuffed
flirting from JP...
49
00:02:11,803 --> 00:02:14,139
I wouldn't say romance
is off the cards.
50
00:02:14,164 --> 00:02:15,778
É
51
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,059
é
52
00:02:17,084 --> 00:02:18,898
...and bonded with Nigel.
53
00:02:18,923 --> 00:02:20,859
SHE LAUGHS
That is really cool.
54
00:02:20,884 --> 00:02:22,169
Trinity...
55
00:02:22,194 --> 00:02:24,219
In my dream world, I marry a prince
56
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,698
and we live happily ever
after with three children.
57
00:02:26,723 --> 00:02:29,009
...chose the same two men,
58
00:02:29,034 --> 00:02:31,369
and felt a romantic spark
with Nigel.
59
00:02:31,394 --> 00:02:34,339
There was probably a bit of
chemistry, I would say.
60
00:02:34,364 --> 00:02:35,698
Sarah...
61
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,528
A drink-drink, orjust a drink?
62
00:02:37,553 --> 00:02:39,889
We could have a wine. Shall we?
Yeah, go on. Yeah.
63
00:02:39,914 --> 00:02:42,219
...is pursuing Manchester-based
Ian...
64
00:02:42,244 --> 00:02:44,139
I was blown away when I met you.
65
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,889
...and Londoner Chris.
66
00:02:45,914 --> 00:02:48,139
£
67
00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:51,499
But who will they choose?
68
00:02:51,524 --> 00:02:53,859
That's kind of...
It's going to make me cry, actually!
69
00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:55,299
Sorry, I'm going to cry.
70
00:03:06,194 --> 00:03:08,499
The first two stages of the project
71
00:03:08,524 --> 00:03:11,099
have been designed for couples
to get to know each other,
72
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:15,499
but co-parenting isn't
just about two people.
73
00:03:15,524 --> 00:03:18,349
Friends and family form
a really important part
74
00:03:18,374 --> 00:03:22,739
of any parent's support network,
so I've asked everyone
75
00:03:22,764 --> 00:03:26,739
to introduce their potential matches
to their friends and family.
76
00:03:29,884 --> 00:03:33,658
Family matters. It isn't just,
you know, that one person.
77
00:03:33,683 --> 00:03:35,889
It's all the people around.
78
00:03:37,654 --> 00:03:40,219
É
79
00:03:40,244 --> 00:03:41,939
£
80
00:03:41,964 --> 00:03:45,629
é
81
00:03:45,654 --> 00:03:48,379
My friends and family
can't wait to help.
82
00:03:48,404 --> 00:03:53,379
That love and support is the most
important part of the family unit.
83
00:03:54,553 --> 00:03:57,629
Sarah is an amateur ballroom dancer.
84
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,499
There's something so magical
when you dance.
85
00:04:00,524 --> 00:04:02,889
It feels like you're in
a black and white movie.
86
00:04:04,764 --> 00:04:08,099
She's hoping Chris
could be her leading man.
87
00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:10,458
There we go, is it time for chicken?
88
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:13,499
But it's not just him she'll
be forming a family with.
89
00:04:15,044 --> 00:04:19,429
My boyfriend Alan is becoming
engaged in the process.
90
00:04:19,454 --> 00:04:22,219
He sees the potential for
his future, as well.
91
00:04:22,244 --> 00:04:23,578
Who's a good boy?
92
00:04:25,374 --> 00:04:27,708
Are you looking forward to
meeting Chris?
93
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:30,019
Sarah will also introduce
Chris and Alan
94
00:04:30,044 --> 00:04:31,989
to a member of her support network.
95
00:04:33,964 --> 00:04:37,538
It's so important
that you like Chris
96
00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:42,899
as much as I do, because I want him
to be part of the family.
97
00:04:42,924 --> 00:04:47,708
I think, if Chris and I don't mix
that well in each other's world,
98
00:04:47,733 --> 00:04:51,069
then it would probably raise
some alarm bells for me.
99
00:04:54,324 --> 00:04:56,299
How are you feeling
about meeting Sarah?
100
00:04:56,324 --> 00:04:58,619
Yeah?
101
00:04:58,644 --> 00:05:00,979
%
102
00:05:01,004 --> 00:05:03,658
F
103
00:05:03,683 --> 00:05:05,949
é
104
00:05:06,894 --> 00:05:08,458
£
105
00:05:08,483 --> 00:05:10,819
F
106
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,229
£
107
00:05:13,254 --> 00:05:14,429
F
108
00:05:14,454 --> 00:05:16,739
é
109
00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:18,349
Oh, I think this is it.
110
00:05:18,374 --> 00:05:20,229
Oh, here we go!
111
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:22,149
Hello! Hey!
112
00:05:22,174 --> 00:05:24,458
VOICEOVER: You want them
to like your boyfriend.
113
00:05:24,483 --> 00:05:25,708
Good to see you.
114
00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:28,259
If they don't get on with him,
then, you know,
115
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,739
we've got a hiccup straight away.
116
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,788
Are you going to dish
the dirt on Chris?
117
00:05:33,813 --> 00:05:39,029
Oh, no!
118
00:05:39,054 --> 00:05:42,349
É
119
00:05:42,374 --> 00:05:43,588
Oh, no!
120
00:05:43,613 --> 00:05:45,149
F
121
00:05:45,174 --> 00:05:47,588
THEY LAUGH
122
00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:48,949
Oh, no.
123
00:05:51,204 --> 00:05:52,819
HANNAH: So why now?
124
00:05:52,844 --> 00:05:55,509
Why are you looking
to start a family now?
125
00:05:55,534 --> 00:06:00,509
You know, I'm 40, and so I feel
like I'm at a turning point
126
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:04,069
where, if I don't do it soon,
time might move on.
127
00:06:04,094 --> 00:06:06,349
And how do you feel about it?
128
00:06:06,374 --> 00:06:08,229
Was this always your plan, too?
129
00:06:08,254 --> 00:06:11,069
F
130
00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:13,588
é
131
00:06:13,613 --> 00:06:15,509
Yeah.
132
00:06:15,534 --> 00:06:17,899
F
133
00:06:17,924 --> 00:06:21,149
F
134
00:06:21,174 --> 00:06:23,869
£
135
00:06:26,174 --> 00:06:28,069
F
136
00:06:28,094 --> 00:06:30,819
é
137
00:06:30,844 --> 00:06:32,749
F
138
00:06:32,774 --> 00:06:35,588
é
139
00:06:35,613 --> 00:06:38,509
é
140
00:06:38,534 --> 00:06:42,359
F
141
00:06:42,384 --> 00:06:44,979
F
142
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:48,289
I think so!
143
00:06:49,754 --> 00:06:54,289
I am looking at both
Chris and Alan, as a unit,
144
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:59,648
and I think that Alan was almost
the calming influence of Chris,
145
00:06:59,673 --> 00:07:01,929
and I thought that that was
very interesting.
146
00:07:03,034 --> 00:07:04,528
HANNAH:
147
00:07:04,553 --> 00:07:06,849
%
148
00:07:06,874 --> 00:07:09,489
é
149
00:07:09,514 --> 00:07:11,809
So, this is why I'm so excited.
150
00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:15,059
It has to be now, you know.
It has to be now for me.
151
00:07:15,084 --> 00:07:16,729
And it feels right.
152
00:07:16,754 --> 00:07:19,809
But life is going to get complicated
with this arrangement, you know,
153
00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:24,209
the finances, you know,
the potential time splits.
154
00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:25,729
F
155
00:07:25,754 --> 00:07:28,089
No, we haven't.
156
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,849
Oh, no, no. No, no, we haven't, no.
We haven't discussed it.
157
00:07:30,874 --> 00:07:34,139
Which, again, I quite like,
cos the way I see it, you know,
158
00:07:34,164 --> 00:07:36,609
I think I would just immediately
go in,
159
00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:42,169
"I want the child all the time
and, you know, you get the scraps."
160
00:07:42,194 --> 00:07:45,889
Erm, because...
161
00:07:45,914 --> 00:07:49,249
...because we don't...we don't
know each other well enough
162
00:07:49,274 --> 00:07:52,499
to be able to kind of have
those detailed ins and outs.
163
00:07:55,294 --> 00:08:00,578
Before this, I'd never met somebody
else who wanted to be a co-parent,
164
00:08:00,603 --> 00:08:04,929
and I didn't know what a potential
co-parent would look like.
165
00:08:04,954 --> 00:08:06,969
Nice to meet you. It was lovely.
166
00:08:06,994 --> 00:08:09,289
And then I met Chris,
167
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:12,369
and there was just
this amazing chemistry.
168
00:08:12,394 --> 00:08:14,219
THEY LAUGH
169
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:17,648
My dreams might be a
little bit closer
170
00:08:17,673 --> 00:08:22,169
than I've ever imagined
that they might be.
171
00:08:22,194 --> 00:08:25,299
Take care of yourself. See you
later. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, bye-bye.
172
00:08:26,754 --> 00:08:29,059
HANNAH:
Isn't he?
173
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,778
£
174
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,249
Yeah.
175
00:08:33,274 --> 00:08:35,578
ALAN:
176
00:08:35,603 --> 00:08:36,939
£
177
00:08:36,964 --> 00:08:38,939
F
178
00:08:38,964 --> 00:08:40,889
é
179
00:08:40,914 --> 00:08:43,299
F
180
00:08:43,324 --> 00:08:44,859
I'm not sure.
181
00:08:46,473 --> 00:08:48,369
Well, I wonder what that did mean.
182
00:09:04,524 --> 00:09:05,859
Nailed that one.
183
00:09:07,164 --> 00:09:11,059
Trinity is just starting
her second meet ups.
184
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,528
Later, she'll see clad of two JP.
185
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,889
What can I wear
that's in a fit state?
186
00:09:18,444 --> 00:09:21,969
But first, she's meeting
with musician Nigel.
187
00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:25,049
We spoke about golf quite a lot,
so this is going to be fun.
188
00:09:25,074 --> 00:09:28,219
He's a really nice guy,
absolutely loads in common.
189
00:09:28,244 --> 00:09:32,099
There was a bit of chemistry,
so just see how things go.
190
00:09:33,244 --> 00:09:34,609
Hmm.
191
00:09:34,634 --> 00:09:36,099
Nah, too soon.
192
00:09:38,074 --> 00:09:40,658
My life plan is to be
a stay-at-home dad.
193
00:09:41,844 --> 00:09:44,099
I want to bring up a child 24/7.
194
00:09:44,124 --> 00:09:45,889
I want to be there for everything.
195
00:09:48,803 --> 00:09:52,658
I got the impression he would
expect me to go out to work
196
00:09:52,683 --> 00:09:55,249
while he stayed home
to look after baby,
197
00:09:55,274 --> 00:09:57,578
and that's not quite how I envisage
198
00:09:57,603 --> 00:09:59,969
the dream world of having children.
199
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:06,859
Well, that's that!
200
00:10:06,884 --> 00:10:08,299
Face down, as well.
201
00:10:15,244 --> 00:10:17,899
Hello, Trinity. Hello.
How are you? You all right?
202
00:10:17,924 --> 00:10:19,788
Nice to see you. Yeah, you, too.
203
00:10:19,813 --> 00:10:22,219
Do you want a little, uh,
competition? OK.
204
00:10:22,244 --> 00:10:24,509
Closest to the pin, red flag.
Done.
205
00:10:26,353 --> 00:10:27,788
Oh, yes.
206
00:10:27,813 --> 00:10:29,219
Nice.
207
00:10:29,244 --> 00:10:30,379
Oh, my God!
208
00:10:34,924 --> 00:10:36,049
Oh...
209
00:10:36,074 --> 00:10:37,538
Oh, I'm not happy about this now!
210
00:10:37,563 --> 00:10:38,739
SHE LAUGHS
211
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,869
My work here is done. That was...
212
00:10:41,894 --> 00:10:43,219
Would you like a go?
213
00:10:43,244 --> 00:10:44,538
Oh, I don't know now!
214
00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:46,019
SHE LAUGHS
215
00:10:48,534 --> 00:10:50,739
Ooh, you got such a bad bounce.
216
00:10:52,174 --> 00:10:53,328
Oh, dear!
217
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,578
SHE LAUGHS
218
00:10:54,603 --> 00:10:57,019
The laughing helps, actually,
if you can keep doing that.
219
00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:00,588
That's not going to hit the flag.
220
00:11:04,124 --> 00:11:07,669
What did you think after the
first meeting? What did you think?
221
00:11:07,694 --> 00:11:11,458
Um, I came out of there buzzing,
to be honest.
222
00:11:11,483 --> 00:11:13,774
It made me think a lot about,
you know, what we're doing,
223
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,495
you know, what's going on here.
Yeah.
224
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,725
One of the things that I picked up
from the first meet was
225
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:23,365
that you kind of see yourself
as a bit of a stay at home dad.
226
00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:27,365
How do you see my role within that?
227
00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:29,725
Your role? I wouldn't even
tell you what your...
228
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,085
Your role is whatever
you want it to be.
229
00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:33,404
You did tell me your career's
important to you.
230
00:11:33,429 --> 00:11:34,495
It is, yeah. Yeah.
231
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,165
But also, I don't want to
have a child
232
00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:38,725
and then spend five days a week
doing 12 hours a day,
233
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:40,755
so it kind of...
234
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,725
But do you want to be at home
five... No.
235
00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:43,935
...seven days a...? No.
236
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,295
So, there's your happy medium,
I suppose. Yeah.
237
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,654
What I think I bring to the
table is time, as in,
238
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,135
I don't have to worry about
going to work. Yeah.
239
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,574
It's really good to have actually
talked a bit more about that.
240
00:11:54,599 --> 00:11:55,765
Really good.
241
00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:01,404
I would definitely like
to see him again.
242
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,774
I get the impression that he
kind of quite likes me, too.
243
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:06,574
There we go, that's how you do it.
SHE LAUGHS
244
00:12:06,599 --> 00:12:11,685
I haven't come away today feeling
like there's anything romantic.
245
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:13,165
Very nice and relaxed swing.
246
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:14,885
Oh, thanks.
247
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:16,935
But as far as
spending time with her,
248
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,654
yeah, she's a really, really nice
person.
249
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:21,935
Oh, my God.
250
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,245
Normally I don't get past date two,
251
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:26,605
and so if you are looking
at it in dates ways, I...
252
00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:28,245
...this is...this is
quite progressive.
253
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:30,245
There you go, show me how to do it.
254
00:12:30,270 --> 00:12:33,015
É
255
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:37,935
é
256
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,245
%
257
00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:43,245
What a lovely, lovely day.
I really enjoyed it, thank you.
258
00:12:43,270 --> 00:12:47,654
F
259
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,574
Next steps, I'd like him to
meet one of my friends
260
00:12:50,599 --> 00:12:53,574
and see how they get on
and get their opinion.
261
00:12:53,599 --> 00:12:55,935
I think you're a ringer.
SHE LAUGHS
262
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,935
VOICEOVER: I'm thinking more
about a child
263
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,965
than I'm thinking about
the relationship.
264
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:02,685
I'd definitely like to
see her again, and
265
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:04,534
let the chips fall where they may.
266
00:13:18,010 --> 00:13:22,805
So, this is Manchester. Ooh! Nice!
267
00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:28,935
The co-parenting project is entering
a crucial phase for Sarah.
268
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,475
Hello! Jackson's Boat, please.
Thank you!
269
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:35,555
She's introducing her best friend to
potential co-parent Ian and some of
270
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:40,544
his friends, so they can get a feel
for each other's support network.
271
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,544
I'm really excited to meet Ian today
272
00:13:42,569 --> 00:13:46,245
because I need to know whether
he's somebody who would be able
273
00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:50,805
to support Sarah as much as he will
support the child.
274
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,805
É
275
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:56,524
é
276
00:13:56,549 --> 00:13:59,725
F
277
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:02,965
I'm not afraid to ask the questions
that have been on my mind,
278
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:05,295
and the things that I think
will hopefully protect Sarah
279
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,295
in the long run.
280
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,444
Does it feel weird meeting Ian
281
00:14:13,469 --> 00:14:16,245
now that you're sort of really keen
on Chris?
282
00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:18,324
It is really difficult.
283
00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:22,735
With Chris, where we've got
such a big chemistry,
284
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:26,245
I don't want to do Ian a disservice
because, as we know,
285
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:30,845
chemistry can fade, and what I don't
want to do is discount somebody
286
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,735
who's an incredible option for me.
287
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,454
Hello!
288
00:14:41,479 --> 00:14:44,125
I'm very well,
thank you. How are you?
289
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,565
Lovely to see you!
290
00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:50,685
This is Tiffany!
291
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:53,045
That'd be lovely.
292
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:55,654
Gin and tonic.
Shall we? Yeah, let's do it.
293
00:14:55,679 --> 00:14:57,925
It's an occasion!
SHE LAUGHS
294
00:14:59,229 --> 00:15:01,925
So, what are you going to tell us
about him while he's not here? Yes!
295
00:15:01,950 --> 00:15:03,524
Yeah, exactly.
296
00:15:03,549 --> 00:15:05,885
What's his nickname? Go.
297
00:15:05,910 --> 00:15:07,685
THEY LAUGH
298
00:15:07,710 --> 00:15:09,125
F
299
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:10,654
IAN:
300
00:15:10,679 --> 00:15:13,404
Oh, amazing, thank you.
301
00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:15,735
Clipboard Ian!
FRIEND:
302
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:16,815
I love that!
303
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,485
IAN:
304
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:20,735
Yeah, I'm so pleased we're here.
305
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:26,284
So, tell me, what's Ian like?
306
00:15:26,309 --> 00:15:28,895
F
307
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,375
é
308
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,605
If there's been anything
that I've got an issue with,
309
00:15:34,630 --> 00:15:38,204
erm, Ian has always been the person
that I have called.
310
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,685
F
311
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:42,454
Well, obviously,
it's fairly alternative,
312
00:15:42,479 --> 00:15:44,815
but at the end of the day,
the goodness is
313
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:49,204
in the fact that a child
has two good parents.
314
00:15:49,229 --> 00:15:51,895
É
315
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:56,404
é
316
00:15:56,429 --> 00:15:58,925
é
317
00:16:01,229 --> 00:16:03,534
é
318
00:16:03,559 --> 00:16:06,615
F
319
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,975
No, I don't want it to be
the kind of arrangement
320
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,485
that I hand over a child
and I'm like, "This is now yours."
321
00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:17,125
F
322
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:22,815
é
323
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,645
F
324
00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:27,615
Yeah, absolutely. We do know that.
325
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,975
If you didn't actually
have that commitment,
326
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,284
you wouldn't go through
this process.
327
00:16:31,309 --> 00:16:34,895
I mean, I'm so lucky. So, I've got
five nieces and nephews,
328
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:39,334
and it brings me untold joy
to be around those children,
329
00:16:39,359 --> 00:16:42,055
because, you know, I'm...
330
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,895
Aw! Ah!
331
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,055
You know, I love being an auntie,
more than anything...
332
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:54,284
...but it also breaks my heart,
you know? And it's...
333
00:16:54,309 --> 00:17:01,175
But at the same time, it's really
nice to actually take control of it.
334
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,095
I'm 38, the eggs are getting stale,
335
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,775
there's only so much longer
I can kind of... 50 sexy, honestly.
336
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,095
THEY LAUGH
337
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:13,495
é
338
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,255
é
339
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,615
Cool, take care.
340
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:23,284
É
341
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,334
Lovely to meet you, lovely.
342
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:28,534
É
343
00:17:28,559 --> 00:17:31,005
F
344
00:17:31,030 --> 00:17:32,135
Bye!
345
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,214
£
346
00:17:35,239 --> 00:17:37,565
That was great. Yeah.
I really, really like him.
347
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:38,775
I know! And I love his friends!
348
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,534
Oh, my God! They're amazing,
aren't they?
349
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:43,214
He would be an amazing co-parent.
Wouldn't he?
350
00:17:43,239 --> 00:17:45,105
É
351
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,414
é
352
00:17:47,439 --> 00:17:49,745
Chris was the clear frontrunner.
353
00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:52,105
Ian has firmly closed the gap.
He's...
354
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:56,754
He's made it way more complicated
for me!
355
00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:00,754
Seeing Ian as well as Chris...
356
00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,234
Can we go to the station, please?
357
00:18:02,259 --> 00:18:05,004
...I actually feel like I'm cheating.
358
00:18:05,029 --> 00:18:07,393
It's crazy. It really is.
359
00:18:15,939 --> 00:18:18,474
ON RADIO:
360
00:18:18,499 --> 00:18:21,724
F
361
00:18:21,749 --> 00:18:24,084
F
362
00:18:24,109 --> 00:18:26,954
é
363
00:18:29,389 --> 00:18:32,273
Oh, hello. Hello, how are you?
364
00:18:32,298 --> 00:18:34,884
Is this supposed to be sideways?
365
00:18:34,909 --> 00:18:36,724
Q
366
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,523
You've put a pretty filter on
with the background.
367
00:18:39,548 --> 00:18:41,804
Yeah, I don't know how I did that.
368
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,193
F
369
00:18:44,218 --> 00:18:48,804
You're still on your side.
Right, OK. There you go. Hi!
370
00:18:48,829 --> 00:18:51,393
SARAH: Hello!
371
00:18:51,418 --> 00:18:54,884
How are you?
372
00:18:54,909 --> 00:18:57,994
It's all very surreal, isn't it?
373
00:18:58,019 --> 00:19:03,084
Like everything across the country,
lockdown has upended the project...
374
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:05,604
My focus has been TikTok.
375
00:19:05,629 --> 00:19:07,364
I've been too afraid to download it.
376
00:19:07,389 --> 00:19:10,804
This was me doing Zoom.
377
00:19:10,829 --> 00:19:13,804
...but conversations
can continue online.
378
00:19:13,829 --> 00:19:17,244
I genuinely don't think
I have met anybody
379
00:19:17,269 --> 00:19:19,994
who would make as good a mum
as you would.
380
00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:21,393
That's really kind of you to say,
381
00:19:21,418 --> 00:19:23,884
cos my mum said the opposite
when I was a teenager.
382
00:19:23,909 --> 00:19:25,684
É
383
00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:28,044
é
384
00:19:28,069 --> 00:19:31,724
I'm Charmaine. Charmaine. Nice to
meet you, Charmaine. Are you...?
385
00:19:31,749 --> 00:19:34,164
I can only see your chin. Oh!
386
00:19:34,189 --> 00:19:37,244
F
387
00:19:37,269 --> 00:19:40,714
F
388
00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:45,474
Hey!
389
00:19:45,499 --> 00:19:48,323
Nice to meet you. Hi!
390
00:19:48,348 --> 00:19:52,964
Charmaine is below. And Lauren...
Left or right, Lauren?
391
00:19:52,989 --> 00:19:55,804
She's next to me.
I don't know!
392
00:19:55,829 --> 00:19:57,044
THEY LAUGH
393
00:19:57,069 --> 00:19:59,044
JP's Skype conversations,
we haven't seen each other
394
00:19:59,069 --> 00:20:01,403
or spoken to each other for a while,
so we're like, "Oh, my goodness!
395
00:20:01,428 --> 00:20:04,914
"Ah!" High energy, you know.
You feel so uplifted.
396
00:20:04,939 --> 00:20:09,804
Are you on wine already?
What time...? At half two?
397
00:20:09,829 --> 00:20:12,474
But I don't drink. I don't drink.
I just had this in my fridge.
398
00:20:12,499 --> 00:20:14,354
We're just laughing and joking
the whole time,
399
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,834
but it's also really important to be
able to have a serious conversation
400
00:20:17,859 --> 00:20:19,484
and be able to take it down a gear.
401
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:22,354
Between the two of you, as friends,
what's your opinion?
402
00:20:22,379 --> 00:20:25,523
I mean, the fact that you know
we're actually talking about
403
00:20:25,548 --> 00:20:29,914
quite a different kind of concept
which is not just romantic.
404
00:20:29,939 --> 00:20:32,523
I mean, obviously, if something
romantic happens, you know, great...
405
00:20:32,548 --> 00:20:35,964
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, pipe down!
You know!
406
00:20:35,989 --> 00:20:37,323
F
407
00:20:37,348 --> 00:20:39,684
F
408
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:41,994
é
409
00:20:42,019 --> 00:20:43,634
F
410
00:20:47,989 --> 00:20:50,523
Around nine months
since the scheme began,
411
00:20:50,548 --> 00:20:53,523
it will soon be time to move on
to the next stage.
412
00:20:53,548 --> 00:20:57,884
Sounds really awful, but I've
quite enjoyed a bit of time
413
00:20:57,909 --> 00:21:00,244
with my own brain... Yeah.
414
00:21:00,269 --> 00:21:02,094
É
415
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,244
F
416
00:21:05,269 --> 00:21:10,354
é
417
00:21:10,379 --> 00:21:13,564
é
418
00:21:18,659 --> 00:21:21,844
Venicia got on well with
Nigel and JP,
419
00:21:21,869 --> 00:21:25,764
but both men admitted
romantic feelings for her.
420
00:21:25,789 --> 00:21:28,964
I'm very curious to hear feedback
from Marie
421
00:21:28,989 --> 00:21:32,564
and actually see
what the guys have said.
422
00:21:32,589 --> 00:21:34,844
It's coming to crunch time, I guess.
423
00:21:34,869 --> 00:21:37,073
MOBILE RINGS
424
00:21:40,428 --> 00:21:43,073
Hello!
425
00:21:43,098 --> 00:21:45,924
Oh, hi, Marie! Hi!
426
00:21:45,949 --> 00:21:47,644
É
427
00:21:47,669 --> 00:21:50,403
F
428
00:21:50,428 --> 00:21:52,714
F
429
00:21:52,739 --> 00:21:53,814
F
430
00:21:54,989 --> 00:21:57,283
F
431
00:21:57,308 --> 00:22:00,283
é
432
00:22:00,308 --> 00:22:03,403
é
433
00:22:03,428 --> 00:22:07,764
F
434
00:22:07,789 --> 00:22:10,083
F
435
00:22:10,108 --> 00:22:12,684
é
436
00:22:12,709 --> 00:22:17,083
F
437
00:22:17,108 --> 00:22:19,083
It's funny you say that cos
I'm, like, tearing up
438
00:22:19,108 --> 00:22:22,333
as you're telling me. I'm like,
"Oh, my gosh!"
439
00:22:22,358 --> 00:22:23,924
That's so nice,
that's so nice to hear.
440
00:22:23,949 --> 00:22:27,333
Like, he's... He's such
an amazing guy too.
441
00:22:27,358 --> 00:22:28,403
So...
442
00:22:28,428 --> 00:22:32,724
F
443
00:22:34,308 --> 00:22:36,644
The way Nigel kind of
processes stuff
444
00:22:36,669 --> 00:22:41,054
and the way he thinks about stuff,
it's so hard to, like, get it -
445
00:22:41,079 --> 00:22:45,564
I'm going to cry again -
and hear. So, it's so nice.
446
00:22:47,509 --> 00:22:49,924
OK, go on, I'm with you.
447
00:22:49,949 --> 00:22:53,413
OK.
448
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:57,133
F
449
00:22:57,158 --> 00:23:00,395
é
450
00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:01,826
é
451
00:23:01,851 --> 00:23:05,826
F
452
00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:07,265
F
453
00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:09,906
F
454
00:23:09,931 --> 00:23:13,265
é
455
00:23:13,290 --> 00:23:16,476
F
456
00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:18,906
Yeah.
457
00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:21,515
F
458
00:23:21,540 --> 00:23:23,395
£
459
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,756
I want to have a fondness
and a relationship
460
00:23:25,781 --> 00:23:28,116
and a rapport with my co-parent,
like, of course.
461
00:23:28,141 --> 00:23:31,796
I just don't want misunderstandings,
where, like...
462
00:23:31,821 --> 00:23:34,786
I feel like I've been quite clear.
463
00:23:36,141 --> 00:23:38,426
F
464
00:23:38,451 --> 00:23:40,426
é
465
00:23:40,451 --> 00:23:44,265
é
466
00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:47,796
OK.
467
00:23:47,821 --> 00:23:51,065
Thank you so much for
taking the time, Marie. Bye!
468
00:23:54,981 --> 00:23:58,756
Do you know what? I don't think
anything came as a surprise.
469
00:23:58,781 --> 00:24:00,756
Nigel kind of calms me a bit more,
470
00:24:00,781 --> 00:24:03,916
but with JP, I feel like
we can joke around.
471
00:24:03,941 --> 00:24:07,265
I don't know what that means, so
having that conversation with Marie
472
00:24:07,290 --> 00:24:10,036
has definitely given me
a lot more food for thought.
473
00:24:18,308 --> 00:24:20,254
I mean, it's five o'clock.
474
00:24:20,279 --> 00:24:22,153
It's going to be traffic
all the way.
475
00:24:24,308 --> 00:24:26,764
Post lockdown, restrictions are
lifted,
476
00:24:26,789 --> 00:24:30,124
so the co-parenting project can
resume face-to-face meetings.
477
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,764
Ancl Trinity, having felt a spark
with Nigel,
478
00:24:35,789 --> 00:24:38,564
is now meeting JP in person
for the second time.
479
00:24:40,428 --> 00:24:42,924
I haven't met him since
the first meet
480
00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:44,874
back in god knows when that was!
481
00:24:44,899 --> 00:24:46,804
Absolutely bloody ages ago.
482
00:24:48,589 --> 00:24:51,333
ForJP, it's a chance to compare
Trinity
483
00:24:51,358 --> 00:24:53,844
with his other match, Venicia.
484
00:24:53,869 --> 00:24:56,163
We had a nice first meeting.
485
00:24:56,188 --> 00:24:58,924
We talked about a lot of stuff,
so I'm looking forward to it.
486
00:25:05,639 --> 00:25:09,163
I'm really looking forward to seeing
JP, but during this lockdown,
487
00:25:09,188 --> 00:25:12,004
I spent a lot of time
with my family,
488
00:25:12,029 --> 00:25:15,484
and it's all been about love
and togetherness.
489
00:25:15,509 --> 00:25:18,594
And I'm wondering if the love piece
is more important
490
00:25:18,619 --> 00:25:20,844
than just the having children bit.
491
00:25:22,389 --> 00:25:24,844
Hello! Hello!
Shall we go and feed the ducks?
492
00:25:24,869 --> 00:25:27,134
Yeah, come on let's go.
Come on, then.
493
00:25:29,949 --> 00:25:32,494
We're going to get attacked.
494
00:25:32,519 --> 00:25:34,494
Oh, no, look all the pigeons
are coming.
495
00:25:34,519 --> 00:25:36,004
SHE GASPS
496
00:25:36,029 --> 00:25:38,494
I hate birds. Why?
Anything that flies.
497
00:25:38,519 --> 00:25:40,054
Even butterflies, I freak out.
498
00:25:42,079 --> 00:25:46,004
I thinkJP and I are similar in that
he's got a lot of energy.
499
00:25:46,029 --> 00:25:48,364
Look at that flock coming.
Oh, no, stop.
500
00:25:48,389 --> 00:25:50,004
THEY LAUGH
501
00:25:50,029 --> 00:25:53,724
But I think we're also very
different in lots of ways too.
502
00:25:53,749 --> 00:25:56,054
And I don't fancy him.
503
00:25:56,079 --> 00:25:58,364
Don't feed them behind,
what's the matter with you?
504
00:25:58,389 --> 00:26:00,694
Oh, no, that was just.
505
00:26:00,719 --> 00:26:03,134
You're a little...piss off!
You're a shit.
506
00:26:03,159 --> 00:26:04,974
THEY LAUGH
507
00:26:06,549 --> 00:26:08,854
How are you feeling about the whole
project?
508
00:26:08,879 --> 00:26:11,184
Has anything changed for you?
509
00:26:11,209 --> 00:26:12,793
I... Yeah.
510
00:26:12,818 --> 00:26:16,793
I don't... I don't really know,
is my answer, where I'm at.
511
00:26:16,818 --> 00:26:21,713
Obviously I want a family,
but that would be without love.
512
00:26:21,738 --> 00:26:25,282
So, I wonder if love is...
513
00:26:25,307 --> 00:26:27,923
...is important with this whole
process.
514
00:26:30,618 --> 00:26:35,763
I'm a little bit surprised, from the
response from Trinity.
515
00:26:35,788 --> 00:26:38,433
You can't say for definite that if
you're romantically involved
516
00:26:38,458 --> 00:26:41,282
with someone, you're going to have a
baby. No, absolutely.
517
00:26:41,307 --> 00:26:44,513
I'm a bit disappointed cos I'm
thinking, well, why are we here?
518
00:26:44,538 --> 00:26:47,282
Or at least, why are you here?
Because I know why I'm here.
519
00:26:50,738 --> 00:26:53,072
How the hell you're supposed to know
whether you're doing
520
00:26:53,097 --> 00:26:54,843
the right thing or not,
I don't know.
521
00:26:56,508 --> 00:26:58,513
At some point, I'm going to have to
make a decision
522
00:26:58,538 --> 00:27:01,513
about which way I go -
I get that.
523
00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:04,483
But I'm not ready to say no and I'm
not ready to say yes either.
524
00:27:07,148 --> 00:27:09,593
If she doesn't think she wants to go
ahead with the process,
525
00:27:09,618 --> 00:27:12,233
then I don't think that we should
see each other again.
526
00:27:22,538 --> 00:27:24,103
Hi, there. Can I have a tea
please?
527
00:27:24,128 --> 00:27:26,062
Thank you very much.
528
00:27:26,087 --> 00:27:29,103
It's been a few months since Sarah
introduced family and friends
529
00:27:29,128 --> 00:27:31,382
to her matches Ian and Chris.
530
00:27:33,518 --> 00:27:35,823
But after some calls during
lockdown,
531
00:27:35,848 --> 00:27:39,182
communication has dwindled.
532
00:27:39,207 --> 00:27:42,743
I'm finding it a little bit
overwhelming.
533
00:27:42,768 --> 00:27:47,103
These are huge decisions that
I have to make.
534
00:27:47,128 --> 00:27:50,142
I'm terrified of leading anybody on.
535
00:27:50,167 --> 00:27:52,853
Thank you very much. Thanks.
536
00:27:52,878 --> 00:27:56,543
What I need is a bit of space and a
bit of quiet time in my head,
537
00:27:56,568 --> 00:27:59,783
where I can really figure
out what I need.
538
00:28:07,058 --> 00:28:09,703
Over the last few months,
communication has sort of
539
00:28:09,728 --> 00:28:12,033
died off really.
540
00:28:12,058 --> 00:28:15,703
I was brought up to always confront,
like, the problems,
541
00:28:15,728 --> 00:28:17,623
like, talk about them.
542
00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:22,573
No-one knows the answers
apart from Sarah.
543
00:28:22,598 --> 00:28:25,293
All I know is that as a
communication style,
544
00:28:25,318 --> 00:28:27,062
that doesn't work for me.
545
00:28:28,848 --> 00:28:31,142
É
546
00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:34,583
é
547
00:28:34,608 --> 00:28:36,932
F
548
00:28:36,957 --> 00:28:39,473
é
549
00:28:39,498 --> 00:28:42,113
é
550
00:28:42,138 --> 00:28:45,753
F
551
00:28:45,778 --> 00:28:49,503
F
552
00:28:54,087 --> 00:28:55,553
Cheers, girls.
553
00:28:55,578 --> 00:28:57,062
So good to see you!
554
00:28:57,087 --> 00:28:59,583
Loads.
555
00:28:59,608 --> 00:29:01,942
As the pressure mounts,
the women turn to their friends
556
00:29:01,967 --> 00:29:03,783
and family for advice.
557
00:29:05,578 --> 00:29:07,913
Wow. I know it's lovely, isn't it?
Mm.
558
00:29:07,938 --> 00:29:09,703
You can't go wrong with a good
spread.
559
00:29:09,728 --> 00:29:11,343
No!
THEY LAUGH
560
00:29:13,008 --> 00:29:15,303
What are we toasting?
561
00:29:15,328 --> 00:29:16,583
OK, oh, well. OK.
562
00:29:16,608 --> 00:29:18,913
THEY LAUGH
563
00:29:18,938 --> 00:29:21,983
Yeah. It's been quite tough.
564
00:29:22,008 --> 00:29:25,503
I've invited you here because I kind
of have to choose
565
00:29:25,528 --> 00:29:27,223
who I would like to proceed with.
566
00:29:29,167 --> 00:29:32,673
So, you've got the effervescent
Chris
567
00:29:32,698 --> 00:29:35,703
and then the reliable Ian.
568
00:29:35,728 --> 00:29:38,942
They are chalk and cheese, they
couldn't be more different.
569
00:29:38,967 --> 00:29:42,473
£
570
00:29:42,498 --> 00:29:46,392
F
571
00:29:46,417 --> 00:29:49,113
F
572
00:29:49,138 --> 00:29:53,503
Yeah.
573
00:29:53,528 --> 00:29:56,473
Chris and Alan, they are so cool.
Mm.
574
00:29:56,498 --> 00:30:00,223
And I am not cool, but I really
enjoyed spending time with them,
575
00:30:00,248 --> 00:30:03,062
they...they would be friends with
everyone.
576
00:30:03,087 --> 00:30:05,913
I worry that I'm going to be
the dull one in comparison.
577
00:30:05,938 --> 00:30:08,553
Nobody wants to be that.
578
00:30:08,578 --> 00:30:11,713
Where Chris and I lead a very
different lifestyle,
579
00:30:11,738 --> 00:30:14,583
Ian and I, I think, lead a very
similar lifestyle.
580
00:30:14,608 --> 00:30:18,272
You know, we like to go walking,
we like to go to garden centres,
581
00:30:18,297 --> 00:30:20,942
I think those very homely
activities,
582
00:30:20,967 --> 00:30:23,913
those are the things that we tend to
fill our spare time with.
583
00:30:26,018 --> 00:30:27,833
So, I met Nigel.
584
00:30:27,858 --> 00:30:32,223
Lovely guy but I'm not so sure
about him.
585
00:30:32,248 --> 00:30:34,913
When I need advice,
I always turn to Robin.
586
00:30:34,938 --> 00:30:37,503
He used to be one of the pro
dancers on Strictly
587
00:30:37,528 --> 00:30:40,473
and he's really honest with me.
588
00:30:40,498 --> 00:30:44,833
Trinity is deciding between
JP and Nigel,
589
00:30:44,858 --> 00:30:47,633
who she'd felt a spark with...
590
00:30:47,658 --> 00:30:49,942
...until now.
591
00:30:49,967 --> 00:30:52,993
I was on an app and I happened
to come across his profile.
592
00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:56,633
Some quite interesting photos, which
I found quite surprising.
593
00:30:56,658 --> 00:30:58,913
Do you want to see? Er, yes!
594
00:30:58,938 --> 00:31:00,433
THEY LAUGH
595
00:31:00,458 --> 00:31:02,152
You seem to look shocked.
596
00:31:02,177 --> 00:31:04,113
I am a little bit shocked.
597
00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:09,072
SHE LAUGHS
598
00:31:11,498 --> 00:31:12,873
Um...
599
00:31:12,898 --> 00:31:15,192
The position of the dog is
quite disturbing.
600
00:31:17,818 --> 00:31:20,633
My immediate thought is, OK, you're
going to be the father
601
00:31:20,658 --> 00:31:24,383
to my children, and what happens
when those kids get older
602
00:31:24,408 --> 00:31:27,353
and they see some of those photos?
603
00:31:27,378 --> 00:31:30,152
And, look, he's a character and
that's a brilliant quality
604
00:31:30,177 --> 00:31:32,942
but I think Nigel is kind of done.
605
00:31:34,788 --> 00:31:37,593
F
606
00:31:37,618 --> 00:31:40,593
é
607
00:31:40,618 --> 00:31:44,993
é
608
00:31:45,018 --> 00:31:47,663
F
609
00:31:47,688 --> 00:31:50,202
F
610
00:31:50,227 --> 00:31:52,713
F
611
00:31:52,738 --> 00:31:55,022
JP, what's he like?
He's such a nice guy.
612
00:31:55,047 --> 00:31:57,022
He's a parent already.
613
00:31:57,047 --> 00:32:00,913
And he just wants to go down the
road of having a baby again.
614
00:32:00,938 --> 00:32:04,272
With JP, there is that constant
thought in my head,
615
00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:07,433
do I want to wait for love,
or do I pursue this?
616
00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:10,123
I have two different devils
on my shoulder.
617
00:32:11,868 --> 00:32:14,633
If I was to not go down the route
of co-parenting,
618
00:32:14,658 --> 00:32:17,233
then I may never have children. Mm.
619
00:32:17,258 --> 00:32:20,282
I either go leftJP, right love.
620
00:32:25,508 --> 00:32:28,633
I just had a sample of the chicken,
it's good. Ooh!
621
00:32:28,658 --> 00:32:31,952
Also deciding between JP and Nigel,
is Venicia.
622
00:32:31,977 --> 00:32:35,593
50, met up with JP the other day
and discovered something
623
00:32:35,618 --> 00:32:38,563
which has kind of threw me a little
bit.
624
00:32:38,588 --> 00:32:42,952
It turns out he wrote a book about
dates he's been on.
625
00:32:42,977 --> 00:32:45,393
Some of the reviews were really
positive as in like,
626
00:32:45,418 --> 00:32:48,643
"It's really funny, it's refreshing
to have like erm,
627
00:32:48,668 --> 00:32:51,952
"feedback after a date from
a guy's perspective."
628
00:32:51,977 --> 00:32:55,032
Some people kind of like, "Oh, no,
you really degraded women."
629
00:32:55,057 --> 00:32:56,843
Do you guys want to see for
yourself?
630
00:32:56,868 --> 00:32:58,282
Yeah, I want to see the book! OK.
631
00:32:58,307 --> 00:32:59,713
It's kind of cringe, guys.
632
00:32:59,738 --> 00:33:01,593
Oh! Gosh.
633
00:33:01,618 --> 00:33:03,952
OK. Um, ha.
634
00:33:03,977 --> 00:33:06,753
"Well, I dated this guy.
He's not looking for love.
635
00:33:06,778 --> 00:33:10,393
"He's looking for a fan club
and the material for a sequel."
636
00:33:10,418 --> 00:33:14,793
A male now, has responded saying
that it's spot on.
637
00:33:14,818 --> 00:33:17,152
F
638
00:33:17,177 --> 00:33:20,643
F
639
00:33:20,668 --> 00:33:23,513
Is that going to affect your
opinion of him?
640
00:33:23,538 --> 00:33:26,753
If they're a role model, to any
child that we have together,
641
00:33:26,778 --> 00:33:29,513
then I don't want those kind of
discrimination to be
642
00:33:29,538 --> 00:33:31,843
part of the norm for our child,
like, that's not OK.
643
00:33:31,868 --> 00:33:33,393
It isn't OK.
644
00:33:33,418 --> 00:33:37,393
But, at the same time,
I don't think it would affect
645
00:33:37,418 --> 00:33:39,393
his ability as a dad. Hm.
646
00:33:41,698 --> 00:33:45,282
And then, as well, I've noticed
myself that JP
647
00:33:45,307 --> 00:33:48,202
comments a lot about my looks...
Mm-hm. ..and stuff.
648
00:33:48,227 --> 00:33:50,563
If he's talking in terms of looks
and romantically
649
00:33:50,588 --> 00:33:53,202
getting involved with you... Yeah.
..and this is not the point of it,
650
00:33:53,227 --> 00:33:55,563
what does it matter what
you look like? Mm.
651
00:33:55,588 --> 00:33:59,593
É
652
00:33:59,618 --> 00:34:01,643
Yeah.
653
00:34:01,668 --> 00:34:04,443
Yeah.
654
00:34:04,468 --> 00:34:06,483
F
655
00:34:06,508 --> 00:34:08,162
Oh, yeah!
656
00:34:08,187 --> 00:34:10,523
Have you seen a picture of Nigel
with hair?
657
00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:12,313
THEY LAUGH
658
00:34:12,338 --> 00:34:14,952
So, I mean potentially if we have a
son, he has hair. Good genes.
659
00:34:14,977 --> 00:34:18,233
The baldness doesn't go until
like 405, hopefully!
660
00:34:20,588 --> 00:34:23,673
Talking over it, I think at
the back of your mind,
661
00:34:23,698 --> 00:34:25,643
you already have made your decision.
662
00:34:27,338 --> 00:34:29,643
Cheers, girls!
Thank you for...
663
00:34:29,668 --> 00:34:31,952
Tonight has been so helpful.
664
00:34:31,977 --> 00:34:35,282
I just needed to hear their
unbiased opinion.
665
00:34:35,307 --> 00:34:38,523
I'm so glad we did this, and they've
given me so much to think about.
666
00:34:38,548 --> 00:34:40,853
Cheers! Thank you for coming, girls.
667
00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:42,673
É
668
00:34:56,197 --> 00:34:57,972
For 39-year-old Trinity,
669
00:34:57,997 --> 00:35:01,052
co-parenting offers a fast
track to motherhood.
670
00:35:01,077 --> 00:35:03,563
Hi, there, it's Trinity to see
Professor Macklon.
671
00:35:03,588 --> 00:35:07,383
But it comes at the expense of love.
Lovely, thank you.
672
00:35:07,408 --> 00:35:11,943
The first question people might
ask in a co-parenting relationship
673
00:35:11,968 --> 00:35:15,413
is how might we try and conceive if
we're not in a sexual relationship?
674
00:35:15,438 --> 00:35:16,893
Q
675
00:35:16,918 --> 00:35:20,253
Potential co-parents are going
to undertake some
676
00:35:20,278 --> 00:35:24,613
sort of treatment, either IVF,
or insemination.
677
00:35:24,638 --> 00:35:26,172
As part of the project,
678
00:35:26,197 --> 00:35:29,023
Marie has arranged a fertility
test for Trinity.
679
00:35:31,688 --> 00:35:33,972
F
680
00:35:33,997 --> 00:35:36,663
F
681
00:35:36,688 --> 00:35:39,413
é
682
00:35:42,048 --> 00:35:45,943
I have wanted children for as long
as I could possibly remember.
683
00:35:45,968 --> 00:35:48,213
OK.
684
00:35:48,238 --> 00:35:50,172
The worst thing that could happen is
685
00:35:50,197 --> 00:35:53,213
they say that I've only got
six months to have a child.
686
00:35:53,238 --> 00:35:55,852
In which case it just puts
so much pressure on everything.
687
00:36:01,598 --> 00:36:03,852
É
688
00:36:06,358 --> 00:36:08,773
é
689
00:36:10,848 --> 00:36:14,052
é
690
00:36:14,077 --> 00:36:17,253
é
691
00:36:20,048 --> 00:36:21,773
Is that one, two years?
692
00:36:21,798 --> 00:36:26,133
F
693
00:36:26,158 --> 00:36:28,133
F
694
00:36:28,158 --> 00:36:31,213
I had it in my head that I might
just be completely infertile, so.
695
00:36:31,238 --> 00:36:35,133
So, anything,
everything you've said is wonderful.
696
00:36:41,488 --> 00:36:43,293
PHONE RINGS
697
00:36:43,318 --> 00:36:45,623
Hi, Marie, it's Trinity, hello.
698
00:36:45,648 --> 00:36:48,852
Hi, Trinity, how are you?
All good thanks.
699
00:36:48,877 --> 00:36:51,852
So, I've spent a lot of time
recently really,
700
00:36:51,877 --> 00:36:54,564
really seriously thinking about what
is the right thing,
701
00:36:54,589 --> 00:36:57,293
because I don't want to mess
any of the guys around.
702
00:36:58,998 --> 00:37:03,334
The reality is that co-parenting,
at this moment in time,
703
00:37:03,359 --> 00:37:06,654
isn't the right choice for me.
704
00:37:06,679 --> 00:37:10,484
The desire for a family is really,
really important to me,
705
00:37:10,509 --> 00:37:12,973
but actually this
process has made me
706
00:37:12,998 --> 00:37:16,124
realise that actually love is
more important.
707
00:37:16,149 --> 00:37:19,734
In a way you are choosing love
and a less guaranteed baby,
708
00:37:19,759 --> 00:37:23,204
over a more likely guaranteed baby,
but without the love.
709
00:37:23,229 --> 00:37:25,564
There's been a few tears,
I'm not going to lie,
710
00:37:25,589 --> 00:37:30,694
but I'm, I feel very content
with my decision.
711
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:33,124
So, I guess that this is goodbye,
712
00:37:33,149 --> 00:37:36,664
and I wish you all the very
best in your search for love.
713
00:37:36,689 --> 00:37:41,284
Amazing, thank you, Marie, I really do appreciate
what you've done and the time you've taken.
714
00:37:41,309 --> 00:37:44,204
Thank you, take care. Bye.
715
00:37:47,439 --> 00:37:53,843
F
716
00:37:53,868 --> 00:37:57,173
F
717
00:37:57,198 --> 00:37:58,534
F
718
00:38:00,509 --> 00:38:03,814
It feels like a real weight is
lifted off my shoulders.
719
00:38:03,839 --> 00:38:05,644
Hopefully, love comes along,
720
00:38:05,669 --> 00:38:08,093
and hopefully that person that
I love wants children,
721
00:38:08,118 --> 00:38:11,534
and hopefully that happens
in the next five or so years.
722
00:38:11,559 --> 00:38:14,614
It can just happen
out the blue, right?
723
00:38:21,669 --> 00:38:24,694
I'm really glad Trinity's
come to a decision,
724
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,024
and I do think that it is the
right decision for her.
725
00:38:29,229 --> 00:38:32,853
But for the other two women, it's
now the point where they need to
726
00:38:32,878 --> 00:38:38,254
choose which man they want to commit
to, to go forward with the process.
727
00:38:41,198 --> 00:38:44,694
The final stage of the project is
an intensive weekend together,
728
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:48,494
to allow couples time to talk
through pivotal questions.
729
00:38:48,519 --> 00:38:49,574
Lovely.
730
00:38:49,599 --> 00:38:52,414
So, making the right decision,
is crucial.
731
00:38:54,998 --> 00:38:57,744
I am looking for the father
of my child
732
00:38:57,769 --> 00:39:00,024
and a friend for the rest
of my life.
733
00:39:00,998 --> 00:39:06,494
This is officially the biggest
decision that I will ever make.
734
00:39:17,519 --> 00:39:20,933
I'm in a place where I think I'd like
to take it forward to the next stage.
735
00:39:20,958 --> 00:39:24,904
But I got the sense that the other
person that she'd met,
736
00:39:24,929 --> 00:39:28,544
because he lived much closer to her,
was more suitable.
737
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:35,933
F
738
00:39:35,958 --> 00:39:39,134
é
739
00:39:39,159 --> 00:39:43,824
F
740
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,024
MOBILE BUZZES
741
00:39:53,519 --> 00:39:55,214
Sarah, hey.
742
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:59,654
Hi, Ian, how are you? How are you?
I'm good thank you, nice to hear from you.
743
00:39:59,679 --> 00:40:03,494
I just wanted to uh,
give you a quick call.
744
00:40:04,519 --> 00:40:07,933
I really want to be a dad, it's
something I've always wanted to do.
745
00:40:07,958 --> 00:40:10,694
You know, it's now or never for me.
746
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:11,774
I...
747
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:18,414
...I was wondering if you fancied
spending a weekend with me?
748
00:40:19,649 --> 00:40:21,103
Yeah, do you know what, I'd love to?
749
00:40:21,128 --> 00:40:23,624
I think that would be great,
I think it would be really great.
750
00:40:23,649 --> 00:40:24,933
Yeah?
751
00:40:24,958 --> 00:40:29,904
Ian will make the most incredible
father, he's, he's made to be a dad.
752
00:40:29,929 --> 00:40:32,544
Take care of yourself.
Take care, then, bye. Bye.
753
00:40:35,008 --> 00:40:40,103
I don't know, I feel really nervous
now, I feel really scared.
754
00:40:40,128 --> 00:40:42,063
There's quite a lot of pressure
now, isn't there,
755
00:40:42,088 --> 00:40:44,933
because I've got to be
great for that weekend.
756
00:40:44,958 --> 00:40:49,704
It feels huge to meet somebody who
could potentially give me
757
00:40:49,729 --> 00:40:52,744
everything that I want in life.
758
00:40:52,769 --> 00:40:55,983
All of my dreams will be
coming true.
759
00:40:59,679 --> 00:41:01,983
£
760
00:41:02,008 --> 00:41:06,744
é
761
00:41:06,769 --> 00:41:11,144
Chris had been having doubts
since their third meeting.
762
00:41:11,169 --> 00:41:15,544
F
763
00:41:15,569 --> 00:41:18,784
é
764
00:41:18,809 --> 00:41:23,183
é
765
00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:26,014
é
766
00:41:27,649 --> 00:41:31,654
Chris and I had this huge
connection with each other,
767
00:41:31,679 --> 00:41:35,264
but we're two very,
very different people.
768
00:41:37,569 --> 00:41:41,264
F
769
00:41:41,289 --> 00:41:45,704
F
770
00:41:45,729 --> 00:41:49,063
F
771
00:41:51,039 --> 00:41:53,474
F
772
00:41:53,499 --> 00:41:55,784
PRODUCER: Why not? You've got very
good sperm.
773
00:41:55,809 --> 00:41:56,904
We've got the, we've got the...
774
00:41:56,929 --> 00:41:59,943
é
775
00:41:59,968 --> 00:42:01,344
Not sure that is relevant.
776
00:42:07,579 --> 00:42:09,904
After discussing with friends
and family,
777
00:42:09,929 --> 00:42:13,424
Venicia has now chosen who to move
into the final stage with.
778
00:42:15,579 --> 00:42:20,063
I've spent this time
thinking about both Nigel and JP,
779
00:42:20,088 --> 00:42:23,834
and I feel really confident
in my decision and where I'm at.
780
00:42:28,449 --> 00:42:31,584
I'm expecting a call from Venicia
today about potentially
781
00:42:31,609 --> 00:42:34,664
spending more time together.
782
00:42:34,689 --> 00:42:37,274
I'd like to, whether she does
or whether she doesn't,
783
00:42:37,299 --> 00:42:39,554
I'll find out today.
784
00:42:39,579 --> 00:42:41,784
Yeah, yeah, I want it. I want it.
785
00:42:47,809 --> 00:42:50,144
F
786
00:42:50,169 --> 00:42:53,554
HE CACKLES
787
00:42:53,579 --> 00:42:55,424
F
788
00:42:55,449 --> 00:42:57,743
é
789
00:42:57,768 --> 00:43:00,063
Q
790
00:43:00,088 --> 00:43:03,024
F
791
00:43:04,609 --> 00:43:08,144
I'm confident that
I have chosen the right co-parent
792
00:43:08,169 --> 00:43:10,743
and I need to make a call
and let them know.
793
00:43:12,689 --> 00:43:15,024
LINE TRILLS
794
00:43:21,449 --> 00:43:23,914
Hello! Hi, Nigel.
795
00:43:23,939 --> 00:43:26,584
How are you? I'm good,
how are you?
796
00:43:26,609 --> 00:43:30,584
I'm good, thanks. I have something
to discuss with you, actually.
797
00:43:30,609 --> 00:43:32,554
Oh, right, OK, yes.
798
00:43:32,579 --> 00:43:35,834
Um, so basically, having got to know
you,
799
00:43:35,859 --> 00:43:40,274
I do believe that any child that has
you for a father would be so lucky so.
800
00:43:40,299 --> 00:43:42,634
That's a really nice thing to say,
you know,
801
00:43:42,659 --> 00:43:46,224
I'm trying not to cry, I'm trying
not to cry, really hard. Ah.
802
00:43:46,249 --> 00:43:50,584
I'm wondering
if we can spend a weekend away?
803
00:43:50,609 --> 00:43:52,943
Erm, I would love to.
804
00:43:52,968 --> 00:43:55,743
Aw! Yeah, I would love to, I think
that would be great.
805
00:43:55,768 --> 00:43:58,584
You know I think you're a good egg
and...
806
00:43:58,609 --> 00:44:01,664
I'm absolutely delighted and I'm
really looking forward to it.
807
00:44:01,689 --> 00:44:06,073
I'll text you later on. That's great. Thank
you so much and, yeah, I'll speak to you soon.
808
00:44:06,098 --> 00:44:07,743
Bye. Bye. Bye.
809
00:44:12,179 --> 00:44:16,024
F
810
00:44:16,049 --> 00:44:19,073
F
811
00:44:20,299 --> 00:44:23,354
JP. I thought that he was being
genuine,
812
00:44:23,379 --> 00:44:28,434
but having learnt
the kind of attitudes that he has,
813
00:44:28,459 --> 00:44:32,794
made me doubt the person that
I was getting to know.
814
00:44:34,249 --> 00:44:39,134
F
815
00:44:39,159 --> 00:44:42,173
é
816
00:44:42,198 --> 00:44:45,564
é
817
00:44:47,279 --> 00:44:49,084
F
818
00:44:49,109 --> 00:44:51,894
F
819
00:44:51,919 --> 00:44:54,644
é
820
00:44:54,669 --> 00:44:57,173
£
821
00:44:57,198 --> 00:44:59,534
é
822
00:44:59,559 --> 00:45:02,574
SHE HUMS
Woooo.
823
00:45:02,599 --> 00:45:07,284
É
824
00:45:08,519 --> 00:45:11,364
£
825
00:45:11,389 --> 00:45:16,494
é
826
00:45:16,519 --> 00:45:19,053
No, you can't sit on the swing.
827
00:45:19,078 --> 00:45:23,723
É
828
00:45:23,748 --> 00:45:26,053
F
829
00:45:26,078 --> 00:45:28,494
£
830
00:45:28,519 --> 00:45:31,414
Oh. I love you.
831
00:45:34,998 --> 00:45:37,723
I'm happy she's chosen me.
832
00:45:37,748 --> 00:45:39,014
Very happy.
833
00:45:39,039 --> 00:45:42,364
Makes me feel like we can move on
and get on with things.
834
00:45:44,289 --> 00:45:49,383
Now I can potentially like, I don't
know, it's within touch, I guess.
835
00:45:51,269 --> 00:45:53,604
The most we've ever spent together
is two hours.
836
00:45:53,629 --> 00:45:56,244
We could spend one day together
and at the end of it she could go,
837
00:45:56,269 --> 00:45:58,554
"What have I done?"
838
00:45:58,579 --> 00:46:01,783
That's why spending this time
together will be great
839
00:46:01,808 --> 00:46:06,634
because it will be, you know,
decide it either way.
840
00:46:09,858 --> 00:46:11,394
Hi. How you doing?
841
00:46:11,419 --> 00:46:12,884
Negotiations...
842
00:46:12,909 --> 00:46:15,963
It's just going to just repeating
myself here it's kind of frustrating.
843
00:46:15,988 --> 00:46:17,244
...and revelations...
844
00:46:17,269 --> 00:46:20,833
It's something we,
we can talk through and...and...
845
00:46:20,858 --> 00:46:22,144
I don't know.
846
00:46:22,169 --> 00:46:24,474
...leave emotions running high.
847
00:46:24,499 --> 00:46:29,913
I can't spend my life knowing that
I've never tried to have a child.
848
00:46:29,938 --> 00:46:32,913
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