All language subtitles for Sex.and.Zen.________.1991.BluRay.TrueHD.7.1-cht
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1
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《玉蒲團》是相傳400多年來
2
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,396
相傳三大禁書中最出色的書
3
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,943
內容是有關男女情慾的風流小說
4
00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:57,991
元朝末年 有一個孤風大師
5
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,410
他整天隨身攜帶一個布袋
6
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:03,288
別人又叫他「布袋和尚」
7
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,875
他的法力精微 是一代高僧
8
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:11,046
同時有一個字號未央生的才子
9
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,298
生性風流至上
10
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:18,345
他認為佛教主張戒淫戒色是違反人性
11
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:22,850
於是親自上山向孤風大師請教
12
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,645
誰知道兩人因爭論報應的問題
13
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,356
最後搞得不歡而散
14
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:31,525
施主
15
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,987
你即使不顧來世也要考慮今生
16
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:38,699
淫人妻女笑呵呵，妻女被淫又如何？
17
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,119
淫人妻女者，妻女亦為人所淫
18
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,163
現世即得報應
19
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,582
我以為長老是一代高僧
20
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,958
必定有超凡見解
21
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,752
原來都是講這些俗套
22
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,880
如果姦淫必報，我想請問你
23
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,757
如果無妻女者 淫了別人妻女
24
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,009
又如何報應呢？
25
00:02:57,302 --> 00:03:00,262
又或者如果有個人只有妻女兩三人
26
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,139
他卻在外面姦淫幾百人
27
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,474
這樣縱使妻女被淫
28
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,603
也算是本小利大，非常划算
29
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,945
新郎向岳父大人磕頭
30
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,992
新郎向岳父大人敬茶
31
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,251
你就好啦 要玩兩手了
32
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,670
今晚怎麼都要玩一下新娘
33
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,424
等我來敬新娘子一杯
34
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,928
新娘子，這一杯要喝！
35
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,721
不要不喝嘛
36
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,894
公子，我們先出去吧
37
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,815
出去！
38
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,492
你是否知道我的外號
39
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,328
為何叫「鐵飛先生」？
40
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,373
就因為我家教森嚴
41
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,583
防守就像鐵狐一樣
42
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:16,213
我欣賞你的才學 所以才招你入贅
43
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:19,508
你以後遊學，出外當官都不要緊
44
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:23,929
只要我在一天 你就無後顧之憂
45
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:25,973
公子就是貪你可以幫他
46
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,891
看著他老婆
47
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,978
不用擔心報應才娶你的女兒的
48
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,101
行房是一件最開心的事
49
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,604
當然，第一次會有一點點痛
50
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,481
不過我會小心點
51
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,693
很快你就會感到很開心了
52
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:34,499
相公，我覺得行房是最骯髒最羞恥的事
53
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,461
既然是聖人禮法規定
54
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,838
我是不會逃避的
55
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,425
我也知道是很痛的
56
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:47,763
我請求你快點 讓我不要受這麼多折磨
57
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,142
這瓶是麻醉藥
58
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,811
待會你幫我搽點就沒這麼痛了
59
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:57,230
這瓶是止痛藥
60
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,650
事後請餵給我吃，謝謝
61
00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:19,419
來啊
62
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,995
相公，快點啊 你在幹什麼
63
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,206
還不行啊，別催啊
64
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,000
為什麼不行啊，插進去就行了啊
65
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,545
隨便吧. . .
66
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,606
好痛啊
67
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:26,486
你幹嗎踢我啊？
68
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,865
我好痛啊，快點喂止痛藥我吃啊
69
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,492
我沒做完啊
70
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:34,786
我做過就盡責任了
71
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,288
為什麼還沒完？
72
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,791
傻瓜，你都沒流血
73
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,171
還說沒血，滿地都是血
74
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:48,842
怎麼這麼多血啊？
75
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,011
為何我的戒指這麼多血？
76
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:56,099
你的戒指刺著你那裏… 就有血了
77
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,562
血啊！暈了！
78
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,535
不行啊！
79
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,120
快點餵我吃止痛藥！
80
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,793
我都說過這事骯髒了
81
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,983
哎呀，是趙孟頫的真跡啊
82
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,487
那應該先沐浴然後再欣賞
83
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:59,913
這麼噁心啊，趙學士怎麼會畫這種東西呀？
84
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:02,666
傻瓜，這是聖人規定…
85
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:05,752
是受胎懷孕，生兒育女的過程啊
86
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,128
為何不能畫？
87
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,576
不要啦
88
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:39,578
怕什麼，還裝呀
89
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:46,167
做了一個月了
洞房時你不是說怕行房嗎？
90
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:50,964
為什麼昨晚你抱著我說
心肝寶貝
91
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,092
我要，我要…
92
00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,390
好壞，出吧，出吧！
93
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,517
你好壞，取笑我
94
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,894
我不要啦
95
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,599
厲害 厲害
96
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,800
原來老兄就是鼎鼎大名的飛賊蔡崑崙
97
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,051
失敬失敬
98
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,763
好說，好說
我蔡崑崙很夠義氣的
99
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,349
生平有五不偷
100
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:08,768
窮人不偷
101
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,186
正在辦喪事的不偷
102
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,730
正在辦喜事的不偷
103
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:13,481
偷過的不偷
104
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,860
認識自已的也不偷
105
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:20,363
所以不認識我的人 都想來結識我
106
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,031
奉承我
107
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,702
搞得我現在很難找到對像下手
108
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,162
既然我們一見如故
109
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,705
我不妨和你說真心話
110
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,750
我這次去東來寺 和我岳父說是去遊學
111
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,293
其實是想訪艷
112
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,253
既然你可以穿房入舍
113
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:37,046
那可以幫我找女人
114
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,340
壞了，錯過時間了，我走了
115
00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,302
小弟想跟你去見識一下啊
116
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,804
這個人怪怪的
117
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:47,682
公子 不知道他有沒有偷你的錢包呢
118
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:49,642
在這兒
119
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,812
都不見了？
120
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,149
不是，不過變成了石頭
121
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,947
施主，有好東西
122
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,371
那個奶子夠大了吧
123
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:25,261
這個對了，謝謝你，繼續努力
124
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,273
女施主
125
00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:50,620
公子，你沒事吧？
126
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:56,543
女施主，你掉了一本書
127
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,631
不是我的
你先看清楚吧
128
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,521
下流
129
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,301
我專程來還錢給你的
還加了一分息
130
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,012
喂，蔡兄
131
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,813
蔡兄，既然你有穿房入舍的奇能
132
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,732
是否可以助我訪艷
133
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,110
是否可以幫我偷入秀幃
134
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,071
如果蔡兄真的能做到
135
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,325
可以幫我完成心願
我願意厚酬以謝
136
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:44,247
每次勾人老婆 都要冒很大風險的
137
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:49,710
我千辛萬苦 勾得一次半次
138
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,132
那個女人就不喜歡你
那就是浪費啦
139
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,718
難道以小弟的才貌
都不得佳人留戀嗎？
140
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,556
如果你真的想我幫你
141
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:06,769
你就要老實告訴我 你那裏有多大？
142
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,607
差不多這麼長
143
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,986
你和女人做的時候
144
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,571
能否支持半支香的時間？
145
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:17,864
沒問題
146
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,867
一支香都試過 不過擦了神油
147
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,912
咳，這樣吧
城西有一家絲綢鋪
148
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,582
那個老闆娘 應該合適你胃口
149
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,167
有沒有興趣去看看
150
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,459
只能看呀？
151
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:34,005
- 可能會有些行動
- 好啊！
152
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:39,362
剛才砰的一聲，是怎麼回事？
153
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,614
我失足 從梯子上跌了下來
154
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:44,742
有沒有把布弄破？
155
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,494
沒有
156
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:47,912
真的沒有？
157
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,455
真的沒有
158
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,209
吃飯吧
159
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,224
為什麼今天沒買魚？
160
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:10,851
市場沒魚賣
161
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:15,606
整個市場這麼大 一條魚也沒得賣？
162
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,325
是市場沒有你喜歡吃的魚賣
163
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,579
你說話要清楚一點嘛
164
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,958
你這次聽清楚後再回答我
165
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,294
剛才滾下來有沒有把布弄破？
166
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:39,005
有
167
00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:42,341
有吧？該打了吧？
168
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:17,084
我沒說不做
169
00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,545
我想吃完飯再做
170
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,259
吃完沒有？
171
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,055
剛剛吃完，謝謝
172
00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:30,556
滾過來
173
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:34,685
滾過來
174
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,609
快點
175
00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:41,956
你想怎樣，蔡兄？
176
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,291
這次你大開眼界了吧？
177
00:25:44,751 --> 00:25:48,087
她老公權老實
一做就做了三支香
178
00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:50,464
你怎麼做也只有半支香
179
00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,883
人家的傢伙這麼大
180
00:25:53,051 --> 00:25:55,636
你撒謊說你的這麼長
181
00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:04,645
不是吧，其實只有這麼多
太袖珍了
182
00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:08,107
用來剔牙就合適了
183
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,820
這一巴掌是打醒你不自量
184
00:26:12,904 --> 00:26:15,030
沒這樣的本事還想去勾人老婆
185
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:19,243
這一巴掌是打你沒智慧
186
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,328
你也知道我不是採花賊啦
187
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:22,746
還想我幫你拉馬
188
00:26:23,164 --> 00:26:25,833
你當我是龜公啊？
現在沒話好說了？
189
00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:30,462
有…你打我打得很對
190
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,090
不過我仍然想你幫我採花
191
00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:35,926
有性格
192
00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:39,972
除非你那傢伙有馬的那麼長
193
00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:45,060
喂 蔡兄 蔡兄啊 蔡兄
194
00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:18,469
夫郎，別後數月，春花秋月
195
00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:22,348
枕冷衾寒，寧不傷情
196
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:30,606
沒有你親我，抱我，搓我，，插我
197
00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:35,361
我那裏 就好像
被千萬條蟲子咬一樣
198
00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:56,507
老公，你知否這封信是用什麼水寫的？
199
00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,802
就是點我那裏流出來的淫水
200
00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,096
混合墨水寫的
201
00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:32,102
拿刀子過來 拿來
202
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:38,442
為何，為何長得那麼小
203
00:29:39,486 --> 00:29:40,944
長多兩寸會死嗎？
204
00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:51,955
天啊 你這個壞天
生我這樣的才貌
205
00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:55,000
偏偏在最重要的地方
卻下少了料 玩弄我嗎？
206
00:29:57,587 --> 00:30:01,799
好玩啊？信不信我切了你
207
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:04,092
不要，公子
208
00:30:04,135 --> 00:30:06,053
- 走開
- 不要啊
209
00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:14,228
有血，這次死定了
210
00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:17,147
斷了嗎？
211
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:20,234
沒全斷，為什麼？
212
00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:22,194
什麼為什麼？
213
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,071
為什麼你的比我的還大？
214
00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:25,989
為什麼？
215
00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:29,117
我不知道，你問我媽吧
216
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:32,246
- 不要，公子
- 我問你為什麼？
217
00:30:42,090 --> 00:30:43,382
發生什麼事？
218
00:30:43,550 --> 00:30:44,716
你自已看
219
00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:48,887
葉大夫回鄉度假
停業至下月中…
220
00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:56,854
死了，我這次死定了
221
00:31:01,609 --> 00:31:03,986
華佗秘本，擅接殘枝
222
00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:07,573
四海雲遊，到此暫寓 天殘子後教
223
00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,383
這位大哥，我是來找天殘子的
224
00:31:29,804 --> 00:31:31,179
- 請問…
- 不用說
225
00:31:36,102 --> 00:31:38,520
是被一把鈍刀在爭持中誤傷的
226
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,981
受傷到現在剛剛好有兩柱香的時間
227
00:31:42,150 --> 00:31:44,151
沒有傷到軟骨脈絡，但靜脈斷了
228
00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:45,819
如果馬上醫治，保證沒事
229
00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:49,531
十五天後恢復正常，現在先付二十兩
230
00:31:54,537 --> 00:31:56,246
先生，你的醫技真的出神入化
231
00:31:56,623 --> 00:31:57,915
令小生嘆為觀止
232
00:31:58,958 --> 00:32:02,085
我七代祖傳下來的
都是接骨駁筋的絕技
233
00:32:02,670 --> 00:32:03,921
到我先父那裏
234
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,297
因為機緣巧合
235
00:32:05,673 --> 00:32:08,425
得到傳說中的華佗外經的部分殘卷
236
00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:12,679
裏面所說的
都是開膛破腹切除病源的手術
237
00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:15,474
我學會先父揣摩所得後
238
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:16,934
轉了方向
239
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:20,562
我希望可以移植肢體
尤其是那裏
240
00:32:21,189 --> 00:32:24,566
你說如果能把獸類的陽具
接駁給人
241
00:32:24,901 --> 00:32:26,860
令很多人可以大振雄風的話
242
00:32:27,153 --> 00:32:28,779
是不是名利雙收呢
243
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:30,405
現在成功了沒有？
244
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:34,076
技術我就基本上掌握了
245
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:37,579
- 那你快給我換吧，換狗的
- 好
246
00:32:38,206 --> 00:32:38,956
別吵
247
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,374
我不是說你
248
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,167
你好細小，誰要換你的
249
00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:43,585
換大象的
250
00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:47,172
大象？是不是太大了？
251
00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:50,592
好像三條腿一樣 怎麼出門啊？
252
00:32:51,552 --> 00:32:53,845
啊，對了 換馬的
253
00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:55,138
蔡崑崙說過
254
00:32:55,181 --> 00:32:57,224
如果我有馬鞭那麼長就會幫我
255
00:32:57,684 --> 00:32:59,434
大夫，就幫我換條馬鞭
256
00:33:02,563 --> 00:33:05,148
我是讀書人怎會說粗口呢
257
00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:07,818
大夫，失禮了
258
00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:11,363
沒所謂，如果換要趁早
259
00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:12,447
過兩天我回鄉
260
00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:14,116
想換都換不了啦
261
00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:24,793
未公子，上香吧
262
00:33:26,045 --> 00:33:28,630
華佗祖師保佑未央生手術成功
263
00:33:28,715 --> 00:33:30,674
化險為夷，大步邁過
264
00:33:31,050 --> 00:33:33,051
禮成 請寬衣
265
00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:50,777
今夜一輪明月，不下雨就好了
266
00:33:53,906 --> 00:33:55,032
四更了，動手了
267
00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:57,200
為什麼要四更才動手？
268
00:33:57,452 --> 00:33:58,910
無論是人還是畜生的陽具
269
00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:01,288
在雞啼前是最興奮，最高潮的
270
00:34:01,831 --> 00:34:03,915
如果在這個時辰幫它們做接駁手術的話
271
00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:06,293
將來得到的效果也是最好的
272
00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:09,755
馬和牛一樣，見到紅色就興奮
273
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,214
起頭嘍
274
00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:17,304
這是用來麻醉用的麻沸湯
275
00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:19,181
你喝了後下半身麻醉
276
00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,515
不會覺得痛的
277
00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:24,061
小兄弟，拿些酒給馬喝
278
00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:28,732
叫你拿酒給馬喝，去啦
279
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:31,610
為什麼馬不是喝麻沸湯
要喝酒？
280
00:34:31,819 --> 00:34:35,280
因為馬是在幾種動物裏
會對麻沸湯是有排斥的
281
00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:37,115
所以用酒麻醉它
282
00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:38,950
好了，少喝點
283
00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:48,543
大夫，那是什麼？
284
00:34:49,128 --> 00:34:51,546
這是我在西洋書裏看的
285
00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,591
是西洋人用來砍頭用的刑具
叫做斷頭台
286
00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:56,760
我照做一個小的用來做手術用的
287
00:34:56,969 --> 00:34:58,970
下了很大本錢啊
試給你看看
288
00:35:04,393 --> 00:35:05,477
厲害吧
289
00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:07,604
咦，縮回去了
290
00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:12,567
你不用害怕
291
00:35:13,152 --> 00:35:14,069
我不是害怕
292
00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:15,821
不過我剛見到一隻大老鼠
293
00:35:16,072 --> 00:35:17,405
我生平最怕老鼠
294
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:20,659
- 你怕老鼠，我怕下雨
- 為什麼？
295
00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:23,829
是這麼回事，在童年時的一個雨夜
296
00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:25,580
我親眼看見我媽給一個
297
00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:27,374
像你一樣的人姦殺了
298
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:29,960
之後每逢雨夜
299
00:35:30,044 --> 00:35:31,795
尤其是行雷閃電
300
00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:38,009
我情緒就會很激動，很激動…
301
00:35:38,052 --> 00:35:39,469
大夫
302
00:35:40,596 --> 00:35:41,888
快天亮了
303
00:35:43,516 --> 00:35:45,058
小兄弟，過來幫我拿著
304
00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:46,601
把瓶子放到那裏
305
00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:50,522
第一支香熄之前
就要開始做接駁手術
306
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,274
過了駁不駁都無所謂
307
00:35:53,025 --> 00:35:54,109
那第二支呢？
308
00:35:54,193 --> 00:35:56,611
在第二支香熄之前
要將整個手術完成
309
00:35:56,904 --> 00:35:57,612
不要苦著臉
310
00:35:57,697 --> 00:35:59,030
開心點，輕鬆點才行
311
00:35:59,073 --> 00:36:00,824
我已經覺得自已盡量輕鬆了
那就一定成功啦
312
00:36:00,908 --> 00:36:06,496
開始了
笑
313
00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:09,332
我幫你切
314
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:29,811
止血了
315
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,897
- 搞定了？
- 搞定，不痛吧？
316
00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:33,190
不痛呀
317
00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:38,945
沒用的傢伙
318
00:36:39,113 --> 00:36:41,865
起來，起來！無膽匪類
319
00:36:51,417 --> 00:36:52,459
怎麼了？
320
00:36:52,501 --> 00:36:53,376
沒事
321
00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:54,711
想玩啊
322
00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:57,339
沒事就繼續
323
00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:01,509
整罈酒都喝了還沒醉
324
00:37:01,677 --> 00:37:03,303
酒量比我還好
325
00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:06,473
壞了，沒時間了
326
00:37:06,557 --> 00:37:07,515
馬還沒醉
327
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,975
不行了，不如這樣
328
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:10,727
駁回你自已那條吧
329
00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:12,270
那以後有空再駁嗎？
330
00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:13,188
沒有啦
331
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,773
切斷一次就不能再駁了
332
00:37:14,857 --> 00:37:16,024
那不行
333
00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:19,152
我先說明，沒時間了
334
00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,696
再不駁回去，傷口發炎會死人的
335
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:26,117
喂，旺財，旺財！
別叨走啊
336
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,160
旺財
337
00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:29,913
喂，衰狗，把那傢伙還我
338
00:37:30,373 --> 00:37:31,498
你不要叼走啊
339
00:37:31,874 --> 00:37:36,753
旺財，旺財
把那傢伙還我
340
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:39,172
噢 不是，把那傢伙還給他
341
00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:42,259
怎麼樣，要回來了嗎？
342
00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,261
別害怕，幫你找回來了
343
00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:48,265
不過只剩一點點
344
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:52,644
現在沒辦法了，只能這樣
345
00:37:52,645 --> 00:37:54,396
把他的切了先頂著吧
346
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:55,855
那我呢？我怎麼辦？
347
00:37:55,898 --> 00:37:57,649
你就做太監，還用問嗎？
348
00:37:57,733 --> 00:38:00,193
有沒有搞錯，我不是人嗎？
我沒有人權的嗎？
349
00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:01,528
誰叫你命苦，賣身為書僮
350
00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:02,529
學什麼說人權？
351
00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:04,030
中國人有人權是有吃有穿
352
00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:05,782
不包括不被人切，拿傢伙出來
353
00:38:06,158 --> 00:38:07,033
- 不拿
- 拿來
354
00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,702
- 不拿
- 那裏走，臭小子
355
00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:10,078
不要啊，我那裏很小的
356
00:38:10,162 --> 00:38:11,079
小也要切
357
00:38:15,876 --> 00:38:19,838
快幫忙，拿盆子去盛著
358
00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:28,638
來了，預備
359
00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,236
喂，大夫
360
00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:47,574
怎麼辦？
361
00:39:07,386 --> 00:39:09,512
臭小子，起來
362
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,222
小子，開工了
363
00:39:12,308 --> 00:39:13,350
我來幫你
364
00:39:15,227 --> 00:39:15,810
- 糟了？
- 怎樣?
365
00:39:15,895 --> 00:39:18,480
怎麼會這樣？不能動
366
00:39:18,606 --> 00:39:19,898
我剛才打破了麻沸湯
367
00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:21,274
湯倒到你手上了
368
00:39:21,942 --> 00:39:23,526
快點拿金春水過來
369
00:39:23,819 --> 00:39:24,944
把盆也拿過來
370
00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:28,031
全倒出來
371
00:39:32,161 --> 00:39:33,119
怎麼樣？
372
00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:36,581
沒反應
373
00:39:39,585 --> 00:39:40,043
不能動
374
00:39:40,127 --> 00:39:40,919
不能動啊
375
00:39:41,003 --> 00:39:42,212
不能動！
376
00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:43,922
那要泡多久才能解開啊
377
00:39:44,006 --> 00:39:45,882
最快也要半支香時間
378
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,094
香都快燒完了
379
00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:51,930
沒了，沒了，沒了，玩完了
380
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:54,808
天意，天意啊
381
00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:08,071
大夫，你的手能動了！
382
00:40:08,614 --> 00:40:10,949
公子，公子，他的手能動了
383
00:40:11,867 --> 00:40:14,702
你幹什麼？不要
別掐我公子
384
00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:16,746
放手啊
385
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:33,054
這是什麼酒？很好喝
386
00:40:37,476 --> 00:40:39,477
雨停了，還不開工？
387
00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:48,445
你100天後才可以行房
388
00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:51,364
如果破戒 就一輩子廢除武功了
389
00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:00,957
大哥
390
00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:02,750
你叫書僮來通知我
391
00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:04,461
說要找我比武報仇
392
00:41:04,670 --> 00:41:05,587
我現在來了
393
00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:08,506
我把刀借給你，我空手，來吧
394
00:41:09,258 --> 00:41:11,509
這些話是用來激你來的
395
00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:13,761
其實我想找你報恩才對
396
00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:15,847
你說反話？
397
00:41:16,682 --> 00:41:19,058
不是，你素來講信用的
398
00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:21,895
沒錯，說過算數
399
00:41:22,855 --> 00:41:25,607
好大哥，你上次教訓完之後
400
00:41:25,691 --> 00:41:26,941
最後講的是什麼？
401
00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:32,947
我記得了
我說以後見你一次打你一次
402
00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:33,948
不是
403
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,117
有沒有提示？
404
00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:38,286
和馬有關
405
00:41:38,412 --> 00:41:40,830
- 馬提示？
- 不是
406
00:41:43,709 --> 00:41:47,587
馬鞭吧，我記得了。你有嗎？
407
00:41:48,839 --> 00:41:50,215
夥計，打鑼
408
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:56,763
他媽的！你駁支雷將棍在這裏騙鬼嗎？
409
00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,851
又挺像馬鞭呀
410
00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:06,105
假的，這條一定是假的
不可能的
411
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:11,736
真的喔
412
00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:14,697
根部有刀痕
413
00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:19,118
那條東西 它和你的肉色又不相同呀
414
00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:22,580
不知道你是怎樣駁上去的
415
00:42:22,748 --> 00:42:24,249
大哥你真有眼光
416
00:42:24,750 --> 00:42:26,918
這條東西是真正的馬陽具
417
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:28,962
是我遇到一個異人，他幫我駁上去的
418
00:42:30,089 --> 00:42:33,716
有種，有種
夠資格做我的兄弟
419
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:35,426
佩服，佩服
420
00:42:36,303 --> 00:42:38,304
快點挺起來看看
421
00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:39,597
沒問題
422
00:42:54,655 --> 00:42:57,490
小朋友，幫個忙，幫吧
423
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:13,464
小朋友，用嘴巴
424
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:27,687
這麼辛苦駁條軟鞭上去
425
00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,522
這次死光光了 兄弟
426
00:43:30,524 --> 00:43:33,401
我想幫你都沒用
427
00:43:35,237 --> 00:43:37,822
一點起色也沒有
428
00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:41,409
沒用的，小朋友，不用含了。浪費口水
429
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:49,000
對了，我看這條東西沒腐爛之前
430
00:43:49,084 --> 00:43:50,501
你最好割出來
431
00:43:51,128 --> 00:43:55,256
如果不割 到時候會毒氣攻心的
432
00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:59,010
這個忙我可以幫你 就這麼定了
433
00:44:11,231 --> 00:44:12,690
- 慢著，慢著
- 嗯？
434
00:44:13,525 --> 00:44:15,485
你繼續在我面前舞大刀
435
00:44:16,570 --> 00:44:17,570
喂，你耍我啊？
436
00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:22,325
不是，我覺得有反應，舞吧！舞吧！
437
00:44:22,951 --> 00:44:25,036
難道我舞刀你會興奮嗎？
438
00:44:25,454 --> 00:44:26,412
是啊 是啊
439
00:44:26,705 --> 00:44:28,206
好，試試吧
440
00:44:44,306 --> 00:44:45,264
是喔 是喔
441
00:44:45,349 --> 00:44:47,308
繼續，繼續，繼續舞
442
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:50,144
繼續舞完全套刀法出來 繼續舞啊
443
00:45:01,156 --> 00:45:03,032
為什麼師父從來不和我說
444
00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:05,076
這套刀法的秘密呢
445
00:45:43,657 --> 00:45:45,992
先生，請問你想買什麼？
446
00:45:46,910 --> 00:45:49,829
我想買些白絲
要好像雪一樣白的
447
00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:51,122
不知有沒有？
448
00:45:51,331 --> 00:45:53,332
有，請坐
449
00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:15,605
為什麼這些絲好像不太白
450
00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:19,984
不會的
我們這裏的絲是全行最白的了
451
00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:24,572
我明白了是因為你的手太白
452
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:26,365
所以把絲映襯黃了
453
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,702
其實什麼都要襯
454
00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:32,497
以小娘子絕色之容
455
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:33,998
照我看來
456
00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:36,959
起碼要嫁一個
像小生這樣的才貌
457
00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:41,088
善解溫柔的人才襯
458
00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:49,889
你說如果嫁給一個像牛一樣的黑炭頭
459
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:53,726
動不動就又打又罵整天挨饑抵餓
460
00:46:54,186 --> 00:46:55,645
還要做粗重工夫
461
00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:58,231
十隻手指頭都磨破了
462
00:46:59,525 --> 00:47:00,900
那就是說
463
00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:04,570
一朵鮮花插在牛糞上
464
00:47:06,615 --> 00:47:10,034
就像你現在嫁的那個
又賤又醜的老公一樣
465
00:47:12,412 --> 00:47:13,621
你這混蛋
466
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:17,792
打死你
467
00:47:25,801 --> 00:47:27,718
小娘子，以後再來找你
468
00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:35,768
別走
469
00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:41,607
混蛋，你瞎眼的嗎？
470
00:47:41,650 --> 00:47:43,526
撞到我的腿還這麼兇？
471
00:47:56,290 --> 00:47:57,206
這條街是你的嗎？
472
00:47:57,499 --> 00:48:00,001
對不起，大俠，是我不對
473
00:48:00,335 --> 00:48:03,713
我瞎的，撞到你腳上，我該死
474
00:48:05,382 --> 00:48:06,424
還不滾
475
00:48:19,354 --> 00:48:21,230
放開我！
476
00:48:24,526 --> 00:48:25,651
我出門這十天
477
00:48:26,445 --> 00:48:29,780
如果讓我知道你發騷
我扭斷你的頭
478
00:48:32,492 --> 00:48:33,701
還是不放心
479
00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:39,415
進來
480
00:49:10,113 --> 00:49:13,908
小娘子，今午一會，刻骨銘心
481
00:49:14,534 --> 00:49:17,328
然你被蒼夫所傷，恕感歉意
482
00:49:18,455 --> 00:49:20,206
特遣人送上正宗雲南白藥
483
00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:22,625
治療所傷，實有奇效
484
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:25,002
謹定於今夜子時
485
00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:27,463
備禮物酒菜造訪小娘子
486
00:49:28,423 --> 00:49:29,799
互訴心事
487
00:49:30,342 --> 00:49:32,760
吟風弄月也足以快慰生平
488
00:49:33,261 --> 00:49:34,387
知名不俱
489
00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:54,448
小娘子，求你可憐一下小生相思之苦
490
00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:02,748
官人，我是個守婦道的人
491
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:05,001
我不是那麼隨便的
492
00:50:05,919 --> 00:50:08,546
小生今晚專誠送禮物來給小娘子的
493
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,047
順便預備些酒菜
494
00:50:10,132 --> 00:50:13,259
和娘子把酒談歡，那就心滿意足了
495
00:50:28,316 --> 00:50:32,403
不行，我不行
496
00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:34,905
又會這麼巧？我不信
497
00:50:35,907 --> 00:50:37,408
不信你自已看
498
00:50:47,794 --> 00:50:49,920
鑰匙在我老公那裏
499
00:50:57,721 --> 00:51:00,222
忘記了介紹，這是我結拜大哥
蔡崑崙
500
00:51:00,307 --> 00:51:01,849
是鼎鼎大名的開鎖專家
501
00:54:45,573 --> 00:54:47,032
公子，吃吧，很好吃
502
00:54:47,117 --> 00:54:48,158
放下
503
00:54:57,419 --> 00:54:58,419
上去
504
00:55:12,434 --> 00:55:16,061
蔡崑崙，
你幫這個淫賤書生勾引我老婆
505
00:55:16,438 --> 00:55:18,397
綠帽蓋到我腳跟
506
00:55:18,773 --> 00:55:21,191
被人笑得我臉都黃了
507
00:55:21,526 --> 00:55:24,653
蔡崑崙，你能打，我惹不起你
508
00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:27,072
但是，只要是人都有人性的
509
00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:30,367
趕狗入窮巷，我就要咬回你一口
510
00:55:30,869 --> 00:55:32,995
現在我帶了所有親戚朋友來作證
511
00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:35,622
今天我一定要解決此事
512
00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:40,836
就算是我怕你了
513
00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:44,173
你叫那個壞書生出一百兩銀子
514
00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:46,800
我就把老婆賣斷給他
515
00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:48,886
我接著遠走他方
516
00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,180
如果你這樣也不肯幫我
517
00:55:51,514 --> 00:55:53,515
你不如殺我算了
518
00:55:53,975 --> 00:55:55,392
- 有沒有搞錯啊!
- 沒骨氣！
519
00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:13,619
夫人，我這次回京擔任吏部侍郎之職
520
00:56:13,745 --> 00:56:16,789
恐怕沒有一年半載的都難以請假回鄉
521
00:56:17,207 --> 00:56:19,958
如果你為皇上操勞我就無話可說
522
00:56:20,126 --> 00:56:22,378
我擔心你整天尋花問柳呀
523
00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:23,754
我是這種人嗎？
524
00:56:23,838 --> 00:56:26,632
肯定啦
否則上次怎麼會染了淋病回來
525
00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:29,259
還和大夫約好說是小便淤塞
526
00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:30,552
你當我是傻瓜嗎？
527
00:56:31,721 --> 00:56:33,972
這是我用豬腸為你特製的
528
00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:35,974
你出去混就要戴著它
529
00:56:36,309 --> 00:56:38,727
別再染花柳回來，否則我和你拚命
530
00:56:40,522 --> 00:56:41,897
這怎麼合我用呀？
531
00:56:42,232 --> 00:56:44,316
我照足你那裏度身訂做的
532
00:56:44,526 --> 00:56:46,110
怎麼會不合用啊？
533
00:56:46,694 --> 00:56:48,695
不至於彎成這樣吧
534
00:59:36,739 --> 00:59:40,742
小姐，我知道你是雙性愛好者
535
00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:44,621
但我的心肝兒，我不明白
536
00:59:44,706 --> 00:59:46,290
你老公是怎樣令你快樂的？
537
00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:48,917
難道他那裏會轉彎的？
538
01:00:01,764 --> 01:00:02,723
打我
539
01:02:13,187 --> 01:02:15,522
你的筆剛才在插什麼？
540
01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:19,818
我在畫畫
541
01:02:19,902 --> 01:02:21,945
畫畫是趴著畫的嗎？
542
01:02:24,824 --> 01:02:28,827
你看看，亂七八糟
你畫什麼？
543
01:02:29,579 --> 01:02:30,454
是淫水
544
01:02:31,205 --> 01:02:33,498
不是，是水墨畫
545
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,208
水墨畫？
546
01:02:37,628 --> 01:02:39,671
你神神秘秘的幹什麼？
547
01:02:41,382 --> 01:02:43,091
連窗也關了
548
01:02:51,559 --> 01:02:52,726
春宮圖
549
01:03:04,030 --> 01:03:05,280
豈有此理
550
01:03:06,949 --> 01:03:08,408
我自小怎麼教你的
551
01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:09,910
你一邊看春宮圖
552
01:03:10,203 --> 01:03:12,412
一邊寫這麼下流淫賤的東西
553
01:03:12,455 --> 01:03:13,580
老爺
554
01:03:13,998 --> 01:03:16,666
你這個死丫頭
你跑去哪裏了？
555
01:03:17,126 --> 01:03:19,294
我去找王七，帶他來拜見小姐
556
01:03:19,462 --> 01:03:20,462
是嗎？
557
01:03:22,673 --> 01:03:23,507
老爺
558
01:03:24,383 --> 01:03:25,300
叫大小姐
559
01:03:25,968 --> 01:03:26,843
大小姐
560
01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:31,723
他叫王七，昨天賣身來做門丁的
561
01:03:32,183 --> 01:03:35,727
這裏是內堂
沒有我叫你，不准過來
562
01:03:35,895 --> 01:03:38,855
否則就鎖你去見官，明白了嗎？
563
01:03:38,940 --> 01:03:39,940
明白，老爺
564
01:03:40,024 --> 01:03:41,858
- 去做事吧
- 是
565
01:03:45,404 --> 01:03:46,404
跪下
566
01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:54,996
將諸子四書 有關政治修身部分
567
01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:56,456
背熟才准起來
568
01:03:57,542 --> 01:03:58,458
你呀
569
01:04:00,503 --> 01:04:03,255
小姐墮落成這樣
你也不告訴我
570
01:04:03,881 --> 01:04:05,090
伸手出來
571
01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:08,343
那只
572
01:04:11,097 --> 01:04:12,305
罰你陪跪
573
01:07:30,796 --> 01:07:31,713
夫人
574
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:33,590
什麼事？
575
01:07:33,674 --> 01:07:35,800
表小姐來了 她一定要進來
576
01:07:35,843 --> 01:07:36,676
我擋不住她
577
01:07:36,719 --> 01:07:38,553
躲起來
578
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:40,263
這邊
579
01:07:40,806 --> 01:07:41,848
幫忙
580
01:07:43,851 --> 01:07:45,185
先搬起字畫
581
01:07:48,355 --> 01:07:50,315
快點
582
01:07:56,822 --> 01:07:58,573
你很久沒來找我了
583
01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:06,081
你老公出門一個月
你不寂寞嗎？
584
01:08:12,588 --> 01:08:14,297
為什麼字畫放在床上？
585
01:08:15,216 --> 01:08:16,841
我準備拿出來曬的
586
01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:26,893
那箱子是空的了
587
01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:29,521
我放了石頭在裏面
588
01:08:35,152 --> 01:08:39,864
表妹，我們不是說過有福同享的
589
01:08:40,199 --> 01:08:41,032
是
590
01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:42,909
如果你有好東西
591
01:08:42,952 --> 01:08:45,870
是不是應該拿出來和表姐一起享受呢？
592
01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:47,080
應該
593
01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:53,378
你最近是不是搭上了一個巨無霸？
594
01:08:54,004 --> 01:08:56,673
沒有，我不知道你在說什麼
595
01:09:03,389 --> 01:09:04,806
他昨晚走了
596
01:09:05,391 --> 01:09:06,766
你來得太遲了
597
01:09:26,579 --> 01:09:28,163
這是什麼汁？
598
01:09:28,789 --> 01:09:33,126
昨晚走了，為什麼汁還是暖的？
599
01:10:28,140 --> 01:10:29,557
伺候公子
600
01:10:34,855 --> 01:10:35,855
這是哪裏？
601
01:10:36,106 --> 01:10:38,233
這間房子是和隔壁
602
01:10:38,275 --> 01:10:39,359
穗珠姑娘的屋子相連的
603
01:10:39,401 --> 01:10:40,902
我們的主人叫花神
604
01:10:40,986 --> 01:10:42,278
是穗珠姑娘的表姐
605
01:10:42,696 --> 01:10:44,864
嫁過來兩年就守寡了
606
01:10:44,990 --> 01:10:45,990
外面很多謠言
607
01:10:46,075 --> 01:10:47,617
說我們公子縱慾過度
608
01:10:47,701 --> 01:10:50,787
被我們夫人玩死的
其實哪有這種事
609
01:15:31,276 --> 01:15:34,111
女兒識人之後，知識已開
610
01:15:34,571 --> 01:15:36,781
而夫君長期遊學在外
611
01:15:37,115 --> 01:15:39,742
閨中苦悶 難以言說
612
01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:43,162
失足與僕人王七
結下孽緣
613
01:15:43,664 --> 01:15:45,414
然已珠胎暗結
614
01:15:45,999 --> 01:15:49,418
女羞見嚴父
又懼鄉里之閒言
615
01:15:49,836 --> 01:15:53,339
故與王七遠走，從此長遠失孝
616
01:15:54,007 --> 01:15:55,758
唯每夜向天祈拜
617
01:15:56,218 --> 01:15:59,637
望父健如松柏，壽比彭祖而已
618
01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:03,474
不孝女：玉香女流白拜
619
01:16:22,744 --> 01:16:25,580
我拿了一碗茶來給你喝
解暑的
620
01:16:28,458 --> 01:16:30,293
我找人做了個抬轎你坐
621
01:16:30,836 --> 01:16:32,378
那你就不會那麼辛苦了
622
01:16:50,939 --> 01:16:53,566
請你們小心一點
我受不了振蕩呀
623
01:17:01,742 --> 01:17:03,659
你們想怎樣？
624
01:17:03,744 --> 01:17:07,413
七哥呢？七哥，七哥，救我
625
01:17:07,789 --> 01:17:09,749
救命，七哥！
626
01:17:11,376 --> 01:17:13,294
七哥，你在哪裏？
627
01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:15,379
放了我！
628
01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:25,973
你是誰？你想怎樣？
629
01:17:26,725 --> 01:17:31,437
我就是譽滿京師的顧僊娘
630
01:17:32,105 --> 01:17:34,607
你老公已經把你賣給我們妓院了
631
01:17:35,317 --> 01:17:37,443
這張是你的賣身契
632
01:17:42,324 --> 01:17:47,078
別搖，別搖，我有孕在身
633
01:17:47,162 --> 01:17:50,039
如果不是你有身孕，需要這樣搖你嗎？
634
01:17:50,582 --> 01:17:53,876
剛才你老公給你喝的是紅花歸尾茶
635
01:17:54,127 --> 01:17:56,170
是最有效的流產方法
636
01:17:56,963 --> 01:17:58,631
他們這樣幫你按摩
637
01:17:58,715 --> 01:18:02,134
都是希望你流產容易點，傻瓜
638
01:18:03,804 --> 01:18:08,933
不要，救我呀，救命呀，放了我啊
639
01:18:37,337 --> 01:18:39,255
皇上，叛軍追來了
640
01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:44,301
暴君未央生在位之時
641
01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:45,386
姦淫婦女無數
642
01:18:45,470 --> 01:18:46,554
虐待平民千萬
643
01:18:46,638 --> 01:18:48,597
故奉天承運，建立新朝
644
01:18:48,682 --> 01:18:50,558
下令將暴君交由軍民治罪
645
01:18:50,642 --> 01:18:54,103
虐待姦淫至死為止，欽此
646
01:21:01,773 --> 01:21:04,233
不是吧，玩得這麼瘋狂呀
647
01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:05,734
暴君
648
01:21:06,194 --> 01:21:08,696
你切了馬的陽具拿來自已用
649
01:21:09,406 --> 01:21:12,116
這只寡婦現在來找他老公團聚
650
01:21:17,581 --> 01:21:19,790
不要，救命啊
651
01:21:23,420 --> 01:21:27,631
這段文字的意思 是需要苦練兩點
652
01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:29,258
四部位
653
01:21:29,968 --> 01:21:32,720
第一，是陰部寫字
654
01:21:33,847 --> 01:21:37,099
無論練習到寫大字還是小字
655
01:21:37,475 --> 01:21:39,476
都好像手寫一樣秀麗
656
01:21:40,729 --> 01:21:44,648
這個運作是訓練陰部的陰力
657
01:21:46,026 --> 01:21:48,736
和腰部的腰力
658
01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:53,115
第二，是練舌功
659
01:21:57,037 --> 01:22:00,122
練習時候要臥薪嘗膽
660
01:22:01,082 --> 01:22:06,253
如果舌頭可以克服蛇膽的苦臭味
661
01:22:06,630 --> 01:22:08,088
那你就可以戰勝
662
01:22:08,131 --> 01:22:11,133
人體任何一部分發出的氣味
663
01:22:16,264 --> 01:22:18,307
當你在苦忍的過程裏
664
01:22:19,100 --> 01:22:21,685
你的腹部會自然抽縮
665
01:22:23,438 --> 01:22:26,690
這是同時練習腹部的方法
666
01:22:32,906 --> 01:22:37,493
陰，腰，舌，肚，四部位練成後
667
01:22:37,994 --> 01:22:41,747
就能幫那裏玩殘了的病人
668
01:22:41,831 --> 01:22:43,415
起死回生，重振雄風
669
01:22:43,917 --> 01:22:46,669
能夠練成這種取陰補陽的絕技
670
01:22:47,379 --> 01:22:51,590
你當然會成為全京城第一名妓啦
671
01:23:11,569 --> 01:23:14,530
公子，小心樓梯
672
01:23:19,035 --> 01:23:20,452
我自已能看
673
01:23:20,912 --> 01:23:23,664
我現在視力差一點，沒瞎
674
01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:26,500
公子，小心
675
01:23:26,918 --> 01:23:29,920
那邊那兩個女人托我給你的
676
01:23:31,006 --> 01:23:32,881
賤妾因丈夫突然回家
677
01:23:33,133 --> 01:23:34,758
與皇上龍體暫別
678
01:23:34,926 --> 01:23:35,884
十分懷念
679
01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:38,012
無心飲食 夜夜失眠
680
01:23:38,304 --> 01:23:39,388
丈夫告訴我
681
01:23:39,556 --> 01:23:42,558
京城有一個取陰補陽的名醫
682
01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:44,685
能夠令男性起死回生
683
01:23:45,061 --> 01:23:47,813
希望皇上急赴京師醫治龍鞭
684
01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:50,524
疾愈後 等妾身丈夫離家
685
01:23:50,859 --> 01:23:52,693
當與皇上再次偷歡
686
01:23:53,069 --> 01:23:55,696
表姐已準備好更刺激節目等待
687
01:23:56,197 --> 01:23:58,824
癡心人，穗妃謹上
688
01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:01,869
去京城走一趟也好
689
01:24:02,370 --> 01:24:04,329
蔡兄，不如一起去吧
690
01:24:05,623 --> 01:24:06,498
我不能去
691
01:24:06,833 --> 01:24:10,210
聽說京師派了一個綽號叫鐵手的神捕
692
01:24:10,295 --> 01:24:11,712
來專門對付我
693
01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:14,882
我一定要留在這裏和他決一死戰
694
01:24:19,971 --> 01:24:21,513
上面的招牌寫了什麼？
695
01:24:22,098 --> 01:24:23,766
回天閣啊，公子
696
01:24:25,852 --> 01:24:27,853
蔡公子，請進
697
01:24:43,953 --> 01:24:45,037
請坐
698
01:24:46,414 --> 01:24:47,498
慢點
699
01:25:17,362 --> 01:25:18,904
醫師到
700
01:25:46,766 --> 01:25:49,017
這位就是開封的蔡公子
701
01:25:50,937 --> 01:25:52,271
- 蔡公子，你好
- 醫師，你好
702
01:25:54,274 --> 01:25:56,066
蔡公子，我們要幫你寬衣
703
01:25:56,276 --> 01:25:57,860
讓醫師檢驗一下
704
01:26:13,251 --> 01:26:15,377
這麼大，怎麼會是我老公
705
01:26:26,097 --> 01:26:28,515
怎麼樣，怎麼樣，醫師？能不能醫？
706
01:26:30,143 --> 01:26:31,560
公子，先天極好
707
01:26:31,811 --> 01:26:33,187
可惜近年過分縱慾
708
01:26:33,521 --> 01:26:35,063
而致腎水衰竭
709
01:26:35,773 --> 01:26:38,817
讓我為你施功 再補以補神之藥
710
01:26:39,194 --> 01:26:40,694
當可速愈
711
01:26:42,113 --> 01:26:44,364
聲音這麼像我老婆
712
01:28:14,956 --> 01:28:15,872
這都不行
713
01:28:16,457 --> 01:28:19,293
看來公子擁有的 真的是非凡之物
714
01:28:20,461 --> 01:28:22,546
它剛才也點勃起來的感覺
715
01:28:22,672 --> 01:28:24,214
不過差一點點
716
01:28:24,966 --> 01:28:28,302
實不相瞞 如果醫師你頭戴紅巾
717
01:28:28,386 --> 01:28:30,929
再試一次的話，我保證它能勃起來
718
01:28:31,014 --> 01:28:32,514
為什麼要頭戴紅巾？
719
01:28:32,598 --> 01:28:36,685
老實說，我這東西是接上去的
720
01:28:37,145 --> 01:28:38,020
我本來…
721
01:28:38,062 --> 01:28:39,563
你本來很小，是不是？
722
01:28:39,814 --> 01:28:40,731
你怎麼知道？
723
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:43,775
我隨口說的
724
01:28:52,160 --> 01:28:53,368
原來真的是你
725
01:28:54,662 --> 01:28:57,122
剛才我抓著你奶子的時候已經懷疑
726
01:28:57,290 --> 01:28:58,665
因為在世界上
727
01:28:58,750 --> 01:29:01,668
只有我老婆的身材嬌小玲瓏
728
01:29:01,711 --> 01:29:03,170
而波大如西瓜
729
01:29:07,592 --> 01:29:11,219
你這個賤人，是我教你做愛的
730
01:29:11,721 --> 01:29:13,347
你居然用我教你的技法
731
01:29:13,765 --> 01:29:15,432
跑來京城做雞
732
01:29:23,566 --> 01:29:28,570
不要
733
01:29:29,906 --> 01:29:38,205
你別走
734
01:29:38,289 --> 01:29:40,415
公子
735
01:29:43,669 --> 01:29:44,669
你別走啊
736
01:29:46,297 --> 01:29:48,840
- 公子
- 賤人，出來
737
01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:49,841
不要啦
738
01:29:49,926 --> 01:29:50,967
你滾出來
739
01:29:51,052 --> 01:29:53,011
我報官
740
01:29:53,513 --> 01:29:55,097
扒光你衣服，遊街，浸豬籠
741
01:29:55,223 --> 01:29:59,267
回鄉下唱你，你那講道學的老爸
742
01:29:59,769 --> 01:30:00,477
你是誰？
743
01:30:01,104 --> 01:30:02,104
你夠膽來搞事
744
01:30:02,188 --> 01:30:04,147
你知不知道 九門提督也是我的熟客
745
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:05,732
她是我老婆
746
01:30:06,734 --> 01:30:09,945
我告你，拐帶良家婦女 逼良為娼
747
01:30:10,321 --> 01:30:11,279
走開
748
01:30:11,781 --> 01:30:14,866
秋燕，秋燕，不用害怕
749
01:30:15,284 --> 01:30:16,743
- 顧僊娘
- 撞門呀
750
01:30:21,207 --> 01:30:26,503
秋燕，秋燕，你為什麼這麼傻？
751
01:30:27,839 --> 01:30:30,340
拿凳子來，放她下來，放她下來
752
01:30:37,598 --> 01:30:40,350
斷氣了
753
01:30:42,103 --> 01:30:43,186
去死吧
754
01:31:11,007 --> 01:31:14,926
大師，我知錯了
755
01:31:16,012 --> 01:31:17,637
我相信有報應了
756
01:31:20,308 --> 01:31:24,102
弟子蔡崑崙 作惡多端
757
01:31:24,562 --> 01:31:28,940
這次的決鬥 我被名捕鐵手砍斷了雙手
758
01:31:29,317 --> 01:31:32,277
以後江湖上 沒我立足之地
759
01:31:33,946 --> 01:31:36,781
大師，我知錯了
760
01:31:39,827 --> 01:31:42,412
癡兒 你回來了
761
01:31:43,998 --> 01:31:45,832
弟子望大師收留
762
01:31:46,292 --> 01:31:51,171
好，明天我為你剃度 賜名「頑石」
763
01:31:51,631 --> 01:31:53,173
弟子亦望大師收留
764
01:31:53,925 --> 01:31:57,052
好，你們倆去面壁打坐
765
01:31:57,929 --> 01:31:59,221
叫「苦夢」出來
766
01:32:01,933 --> 01:32:05,810
苦夢，你的心境平復了沒有
767
01:32:06,395 --> 01:32:09,648
師父，我仍然一閉上眼睛
768
01:32:10,233 --> 01:32:12,776
就看見我逼玉香墮胎
769
01:32:13,069 --> 01:32:16,238
撲到我身上，還要我賠命
770
01:32:16,572 --> 01:32:18,490
頑石，你回頭
771
01:32:19,700 --> 01:32:21,660
看看那兩個是誰
772
01:32:28,334 --> 01:32:30,627
昔日所為，今日所受
773
01:32:31,003 --> 01:32:33,380
今日所為，明日所修
774
01:32:34,173 --> 01:32:37,133
恩怨情仇，循環罪孽
775
01:32:37,385 --> 01:32:40,220
跳出恨海 還我真知
776
01:32:40,596 --> 01:32:42,305
明白嗎？
52081
