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1
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TRUE CRIME
2
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,133
Banks are cool.
3
00:00:11,135 --> 00:00:14,534
Yeah. That's where
they keep all the money.
4
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:19,008
"Substantial penalty for
early withdrawal".
5
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:26,791
Please remove card.
6
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,990
Cool! It's one of
those money machines!
7
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,256
Hey, somebody left the card.
Shove it in Butt-Head.
8
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,226
No way, you shove it in.
9
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,240
Thank you. Please
enter password.
10
00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:45,742
Hey Beavis, how
do you spell "chode"?
11
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,572
Check this out.
12
00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:58,386
Thank you for
using First Homeowners.
13
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:46,333
Check it out, Butt-Head.
14
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:58,383
- That was pretty cool.
- Yeah. Thanks.
15
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,428
This is cool!
16
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:16,092
Yeah, yeah. It rules!
It rules! It rules!
17
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,597
Yeah. Right on, Beavis.
18
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,716
- These guys are cool.
- Yeah. It kicks butt!
19
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,159
It kicks ass!
It kicks ass!
20
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:44,629
- Rock on, Beavis!
- Yeah, yeah! Rock!
21
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:52,664
Check it out.
22
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,340
They put that dude in a fence!
23
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,740
Fences are cool.
24
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,770
Especially
electric fences.
25
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:06,045
When I was little and had no
sense/I took a whiz on an electric fence.
26
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:10,148
It hurt so bad/it shocked my balls/
Then I took a crap in my overalls!
27
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,182
- Whoa! That was pretty cool!
- Yeah, yeah.
28
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,536
Whoa! His eyes
are sewn shut.
29
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,804
He must have seen something
so horrible, like, his eyeballs melted.
30
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,511
Maybe he saw that
Winger video.
31
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,849
Yeah! Yeah!
32
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,669
Maybe we should
go buy something.
33
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:08,306
Like what?
34
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:13,978
Good evening and welcome to
"America's Most Hated".
35
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,323
What you are about to see
36
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:19,156
- is a crime so heinous...
- Anus?
37
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:25,222
so repulsive, so actual, it may shake
your very faith in human nature!
38
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:29,372
What we are about to show you is
actual video tape of the actual crime...
39
00:04:29,373 --> 00:04:30,830
This sucks!
40
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,300
I wanna see some domestic disputes.
41
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:37,004
... show these criminals actually
robbing one of the ready-tellers.
42
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:41,312
A victimless crime?
No way.
43
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:46,110
I stepped away from the Keno table,
Bob, then those creeps attacked me.
44
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,153
Took that bank card
right out of my wallet.
45
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:52,283
- Bust them!
- Yeah. Give those guys the chair!
46
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,316
The chair!
The chair!
47
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,724
The chair!
48
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,454
What I don't get is how they
figured out my password:
49
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,964
BALLS, how did they
know I was a pro?
50
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,469
One frightened eye witness
51
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,524
a cleaning woman who
concealed herself behind
52
00:05:05,526 --> 00:05:08,593
a trashbin, was willing to
tell us what she saw.
53
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:13,107
One of them was a real ugly
fella, Bob. Kept scratching his butt.
54
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:17,411
This tall-tale gesture may eventually
lead police to the robber's liar.
55
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,813
They should pay
for their crimes.
56
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:24,426
Our America's Most Hated
crime artists have created
57
00:05:24,427 --> 00:05:27,388
sketches of what we believe
these two look like.
58
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,658
If you have any information
about these career criminals
59
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:33,257
please dial our
information hotline.
60
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:36,335
Hey Butt-Head, let's call and
say we know those guys.
61
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,831
Maybe there is a reward.
62
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:54,015
Authorities remained baffled in their
search for two mysterious robbers
63
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,648
who seem to have dropped
completly out of sight.
64
00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:01,651
Tonight, we recreate exactly what might
have occured that terrible night.
65
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:07,161
What you are about to see is a
dramatization by professional thespians.
66
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,061
"Professional lesbians"?
67
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:14,807
Travis, check it out. Another cash
machine ripe for the picking.
68
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:20,706
These cash machines are the best thing
that ever happened to criminals like us.
69
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:27,278
I can practically
smell the cash.
70
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,819
They should arrest
those lesbians.
71
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,695
Yeah. Use the taser,
the taser.
72
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,330
Zap him!
Zap him in the butt.
73
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,931
Who are these monsters?
74
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:50,065
Well, it is not clear if these thiefs work
on a national or international scope.
75
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,842
It is known that they are wily
and they are dangerous.
76
00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,443
- Cool.
- Yeah!
77
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:05,990
Wait a minute!
78
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:08,759
This isn't cool.
79
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,362
- This sucks!
- Yeah.
80
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,292
Who is this?
81
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,200
- Is this Manute Bol?
- Yeah.
82
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:27,736
That dude can slam dunk
without even jumping.
83
00:07:27,761 --> 00:07:28,835
Yeah.
84
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,883
It's too bad he
can't sing.
85
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,074
Yeah.
86
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,230
Maybe this isn't
Manute Bol.
87
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,731
Yeah. Manute Bol sings better than this.
88
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,948
- This man has lipstick on!
- Yeah.
89
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,649
This is scary.
90
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,350
Can I sleep at your house tonight?
91
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,953
I don't know. I'll ask my
mom's boyfriend.
92
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,661
Ah, nevermind.
93
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,173
Sometimes I dont know if I'm coming back.
94
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:36,308
"Coppers" is filmed live on location with
the men and women of law enforcement.
95
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:41,514
All suspects are considered innocent
until proven guilty in a court of law.
96
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,125
Whoa!
Check out that neighborhood!
97
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:48,884
I've been there.
98
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:52,761
Ok, now remember to take
out the big guy first.
99
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:55,393
He's armed and completely irrational.
100
00:08:55,902 --> 00:09:00,362
- Ok move! Move! Move!
- Let's go, let's go!
101
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:07,871
- Hey Beavis, did you hear something?
- Yeah, I thought it was you.
102
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,550
- Don't move!
- Get your hands up!
103
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,552
- Hands on your heads, now!
- Now.
104
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,554
Those two guys don't look anything
like those lesbians they were after.
105
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:30,291
Shut up, Butt-Head. They're
gonna use the taser! The taser!
106
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,560
Are there, like, pills you
can take for that?
107
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,495
Yeah! Yeah!
That would be cool!
108
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,205
I have a bad feeling
about this video.
109
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:07,802
Me too.
110
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:11,539
This is just another bunch
of British mama's boys.
111
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:14,608
Where is Britain?
112
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,319
I think it's like, somewhere near English.
113
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:28,122
Yeah. That's where everyone
talks like a wuss.
114
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,425
Yeah.
115
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:34,166
"I believe I will go
spank my monkey".
116
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:36,625
Me too.
8982
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