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"Marketing 101."
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If you live in any major city,
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you see 800 ads a day.
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00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,176
In most of them, models are
going to be looking at you
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- like they want to fuck you.
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You're so used to this that you
don't even notice it anymore,
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00:00:38,348 --> 00:00:39,933
but your body does.
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00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:41,559
Your heart rate increases,
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your pupils dilate,
you breathe faster...
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- you become more alert.
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00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:49,234
- You've been tapped.
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00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,528
Looking at a billboard
is supposed to feel
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00:00:51,694 --> 00:00:53,321
like love at first sight.
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00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:56,366
But it's not real.
It's just marketing.
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00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:58,034
And without that,
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00:00:58,201 --> 00:00:59,702
you wouldn't even know
who you are.
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00:01:01,663 --> 00:01:03,873
You see, the first thing
you learn in business school
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00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,627
is that you need to market yourself
before the ads do it for you.
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00:01:07,794 --> 00:01:10,004
Which is why they teach you
to pick a new name--
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00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,923
brand yourself
and become the product
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- that you're trying to sell.
- Your name's Scat?
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Yeah, my name's Scat.
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00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:18,471
A name he chose
because it was closely associated
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- with jazz, beat poetry and...
- Animal shit.
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N-- like jazz.
It's a type of music.
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You've had 16 sexual partners?
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- Okay...
- Yeah.
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00:01:30,066 --> 00:01:32,193
Provided your blood test
comes back negative,
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that'll be $54.
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00:01:34,904 --> 00:01:37,490
Fifty-- don't you think my sperm's
worth a little more than that?
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00:01:37,657 --> 00:01:39,826
Because you've had
16 sexual partners,
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00:01:39,993 --> 00:01:41,953
there's already a 90% risk...
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00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,247
But I put on my form
that I don't have an STI.
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00:01:44,414 --> 00:01:46,040
You could have
written anything.
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00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,001
Ma'am, what am I supposed
to do with $54?
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00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:51,629
I can't pay my rent with $54.
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00:01:51,796 --> 00:01:53,423
Do you know how hard it is for me
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to just give away my future spawn
for 54 bucks?
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00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:58,887
- How do you think they'd feel?
- Shh.
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Cool name.
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00:02:01,723 --> 00:02:03,850
This is Scat's roommate Sneaky Pete.
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00:02:04,017 --> 00:02:07,145
He broke his jaw sophomore year
after a motorcycle accident,
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and had it wired shut.
He couldn't speak for three months.
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The accident just so happened
to coincide with "Marketing 304:
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Persona Creation," where Sneaky Pete
received the only perfect score.
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He hasn't said a word since.
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You're a perfect candidate, Mr. Pete.
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This is wonderful.
Provided your blood test...
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00:02:22,827 --> 00:02:25,747
Pete visited the health clinic
18 times his freshman year,
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00:02:25,914 --> 00:02:27,916
and it wasn't because he had the flu.
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That will be $270.
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00:02:29,792 --> 00:02:32,086
But the truth doesn't matter,
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because perception is reality.
54
00:02:34,756 --> 00:02:36,215
...saving it for marriage.
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It's all just...
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00:02:37,926 --> 00:02:40,219
marketing.
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00:02:42,305 --> 00:02:44,891
$54 a week?
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00:02:45,058 --> 00:02:47,018
Your sister makes more
at her lemonade stand.
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00:02:47,185 --> 00:02:50,605
Mom, it's just temporary.
Competition's stiff in this climate.
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00:02:50,772 --> 00:02:52,357
- You're settling.
- I'll get--
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00:02:52,523 --> 00:02:54,484
You used to be so innovative.
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00:02:54,651 --> 00:02:56,819
Remember when you won
the science fair, Michael?
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00:02:56,986 --> 00:02:58,863
Mom, my name is Scat now.
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00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:00,448
This form is now...
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Recapping the stories...
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00:03:04,577 --> 00:03:07,038
Introducing the Tiddy Bear.
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00:03:07,205 --> 00:03:09,207
- That's T-I-D-D-Y Bear.
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The cute little guy
that eliminates all those
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00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:13,962
- irritating shoulder-strap problems.
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00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:16,089
Designed to make
driving more comfortable,
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00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:18,424
the Tiddy Bear snaps
onto your shoulder strap
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00:03:18,591 --> 00:03:21,177
and moves up and down to eliminate
uncomfortable pressure...
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00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:24,806
- Going to bed?
- Now you can have you own Tiddy Bear,
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00:03:24,973 --> 00:03:26,891
and eliminate those annoying shoulder...
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00:03:27,058 --> 00:03:28,393
They say every person has three
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00:03:28,559 --> 00:03:30,895
million-dollar ideas in their life.
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00:03:31,062 --> 00:03:33,690
Scat had three of them
before he turned seven...
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00:03:33,856 --> 00:03:35,483
- See you tomorrow.
- ...and many after.
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00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,652
In high school, he won
the state science fair
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00:03:37,819 --> 00:03:39,821
for inventing
a new flavor of ice cream.
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00:03:39,988 --> 00:03:43,074
165 people showed up
for the taste test.
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They just wanted vanilla.
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00:03:45,368 --> 00:03:48,329
You see, people don't care
about something new.
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00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,124
They just want the same old thing
85
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:53,084
behind a new, sexier label...
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- Fuck!
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00:03:58,214 --> 00:04:00,383
...because taste doesn't matter.
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00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:02,051
It's all about the branding.
89
00:04:02,218 --> 00:04:04,637
And without that...
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00:04:08,558 --> 00:04:10,476
it's just syrup and water.
91
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:16,941
Pete, you awake?
92
00:04:19,610 --> 00:04:20,945
I have an idea...
93
00:04:21,112 --> 00:04:23,322
it's a drink idea. It just clicked!
94
00:04:23,489 --> 00:04:24,907
I'm gonna run with this, Pete.
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00:04:25,074 --> 00:04:26,868
I really think this
could be it for me.
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00:04:27,035 --> 00:04:29,662
I might even be able to pull you in too.
You've got great ideas.
97
00:04:29,829 --> 00:04:31,706
What do you think?
Do I-- I mean do I go indie?
98
00:04:31,873 --> 00:04:33,541
Do I try to sell
to one of the majors?
99
00:04:35,001 --> 00:04:37,378
Yeah, it definitely
feels mainstream.
100
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,422
One of the majors.
101
00:04:39,589 --> 00:04:42,216
I just need to get it
in front of the right guy.
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00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:45,094
Little did he know
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00:04:45,261 --> 00:04:47,597
her name is Six.
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00:04:48,848 --> 00:04:50,391
- Wow.
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00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:51,851
♪ Go party down now... ♪
106
00:04:52,018 --> 00:04:53,936
Six sounds like sex.
107
00:04:54,103 --> 00:04:55,772
That's the point.
108
00:04:55,938 --> 00:04:57,940
Studies show that
the more men associate
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00:04:58,107 --> 00:05:01,277
sex with decision-making, the more
likely their answer will be "yes"
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00:05:01,444 --> 00:05:03,946
- to anything that you might request.
- Morning, Six!
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00:05:04,113 --> 00:05:05,615
"What was the question?"
you might ask.
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00:05:05,782 --> 00:05:07,241
Grade A.
- Great ass.
113
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,703
Do you really think it matters?
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00:05:10,870 --> 00:05:13,623
- Addy. This is Beth.
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Sure!
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00:05:15,875 --> 00:05:18,711
Welcome to the Addison Company,
how may I help you?
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00:05:18,878 --> 00:05:21,005
Hello, Beth is it?
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00:05:21,172 --> 00:05:23,174
I'm the brother to your
New Products marketing manager
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00:05:23,341 --> 00:05:25,093
and I...
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00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,720
it's the whole family. We have
this special birthday surprise planned--
121
00:05:27,887 --> 00:05:29,347
Who do you wish to see, sir?
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00:05:29,514 --> 00:05:31,182
- Six.
- I'm sorry,
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00:05:31,349 --> 00:05:33,726
New Products doesn't accept
unscheduled meetings.
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00:05:33,893 --> 00:05:35,895
Yeah, I know that, Beth.
That's why I'm here.
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00:05:36,062 --> 00:05:38,272
I was hoping you'd put me through to her
so that I can sort this all out.
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00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,899
- Addy. This is Beth!
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00:05:40,066 --> 00:05:42,902
Sure, you're welcome!
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00:05:43,903 --> 00:05:46,572
I'm sorry, New Products doesn't
accept unsolicited calls.
129
00:05:46,739 --> 00:05:49,784
Tell me, Beth, how do you suggest
that I contact my own sister?
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00:05:49,951 --> 00:05:51,536
I refuse to solicit a call.
131
00:05:51,702 --> 00:05:53,496
- That's just absurd.
- Try her cell.
132
00:05:53,663 --> 00:05:56,624
- Have a nice day, sir.
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00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,209
Addy. This is Beth.
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00:05:58,376 --> 00:06:00,211
Yeah, the ingredients
in Addison beverages
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00:06:00,378 --> 00:06:01,963
are suitable for a vegetarian.
136
00:06:16,102 --> 00:06:17,687
Should we reschedule?
137
00:06:17,854 --> 00:06:19,147
No, I don't know.
138
00:06:24,944 --> 00:06:27,613
Not sure how long
we'll have to stay out here.
139
00:06:34,078 --> 00:06:35,705
All over my phone.
140
00:06:35,872 --> 00:06:37,582
I suppose we should stand over here.
141
00:06:37,748 --> 00:06:39,458
You know how they first
marketed fire alarms?
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00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:41,794
- Hired arsonists.
- Yeah.
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00:06:41,961 --> 00:06:44,046
"Marketing 101."
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00:06:44,213 --> 00:06:47,133
I hear 'em from my manicurist,
my Pilates instructor,
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00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,427
my girlfriend.
I don't need yours.
146
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You don't need my what?
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A drink idea.
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00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:58,477
Okay, I have to say it: bravo.
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00:06:58,644 --> 00:07:01,397
You've got the sex thing,
you've got the wealth thing,
150
00:07:01,564 --> 00:07:04,734
- you've totally got the mystery thing.
- You think this is an image?
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00:07:04,901 --> 00:07:07,403
You're right.
Don't ruin the magic.
152
00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:09,197
The insurance company only obligates
153
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:11,657
a four-minute mandatory evacuation
for all fire alarms,
154
00:07:11,824 --> 00:07:14,493
which means you have 25 seconds
before Addy starts losing money.
155
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,704
What? Can't we set up
a meeting, something?
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00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,915
I have an idea that could make
your company millions of dollars
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00:07:19,081 --> 00:07:20,374
and you're giving me 30 seconds?
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00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,168
That's how long we have
to sell our customers.
159
00:07:22,335 --> 00:07:24,629
It's called advertising.
Five seconds.
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00:07:26,255 --> 00:07:27,924
All right.
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00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:31,010
Okay okay!
Jet black can called "Fukk"!
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00:07:35,306 --> 00:07:37,850
8:00 PM, Alain Ducasse.
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00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,730
11:00 AM, coffee.
I don't do dinner.
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00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,357
12:00, lunch!
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00:07:44,523 --> 00:07:45,816
Abe & Arthur's.
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00:07:45,983 --> 00:07:48,027
Or I'm going to ZephCo.
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00:07:50,613 --> 00:07:52,949
Tampering with a fire alarm
is a federal offense.
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00:07:56,994 --> 00:07:59,747
Men categorize women
in one of four ways:
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mothers, virgins, sluts and bitches.
170
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:06,420
Of course, none of the above
171
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,006
is suitable for the modern
businesswoman.
172
00:08:09,173 --> 00:08:10,466
But you can create your own image
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00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:14,011
by selecting pieces of each archetype
that work for you.
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00:08:14,178 --> 00:08:16,514
For example,
the sexual attractiveness...
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00:08:16,681 --> 00:08:18,432
of the slut.
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00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:23,020
The wisdom of the mother.
177
00:08:24,063 --> 00:08:26,607
The integrity of the virgin.
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00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:29,110
The independence of the bitch.
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00:08:29,277 --> 00:08:32,989
This leaves men confused
and unable to pigeon-hole you.
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00:08:33,155 --> 00:08:35,700
What they're forced to do instead is
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00:08:35,866 --> 00:08:37,576
take you seriously.
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00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,705
- Mr. Scat.
- Ms. Six.
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00:08:40,871 --> 00:08:43,416
As this is a business lunch,
a handshake is appropriate.
184
00:08:43,582 --> 00:08:46,502
I completely agree. I always say
lunch lubricates business.
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00:08:46,669 --> 00:08:48,629
- Lubricates what?
- Nothing. I don't lubricate.
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00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,339
- Mr. Scat...
- Scat.
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00:08:50,506 --> 00:08:52,925
- This idea of yours, "Fuck"--
- Yeah, that's F-U-K-K.
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00:08:53,092 --> 00:08:54,802
That addresses my first concern.
189
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,305
Now, with regard to the target market,
190
00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:00,683
I'm assuming you're after the young,
cynical image-conscious consumer?
191
00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:02,018
- Like yourself.
192
00:09:02,184 --> 00:09:05,730
Mr. Scat, don't confuse me
with a consumer. I don't buy anything.
193
00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:07,565
Exactly, it'd be like drinking irony.
194
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,192
No, we're not ready yet.
195
00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:12,486
Did you have any thoughts on taste?
196
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,322
Well, no.
197
00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:17,033
People don't buy energy drinks
based on taste, do they?
198
00:09:17,199 --> 00:09:18,951
No, I was just wondering.
199
00:09:19,118 --> 00:09:21,120
Well, then...
200
00:09:21,287 --> 00:09:24,415
something eye-wateringly sharp
with a kind of chemical aftertaste,
201
00:09:24,582 --> 00:09:26,334
so you think, "This must be powerful!"
202
00:09:32,214 --> 00:09:34,550
Good. Good.
203
00:09:36,052 --> 00:09:37,845
- Where are you going?
- I'm leaving.
204
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:39,847
What about lunch?
205
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,599
Mm-hmm.
206
00:09:50,566 --> 00:09:53,277
May I say you're very young to be
managing your own department?
207
00:09:53,444 --> 00:09:55,112
I'm 21.
208
00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:56,822
No, seriously...
209
00:09:56,989 --> 00:09:59,200
21.
210
00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:01,827
- I'll give you 25-- okay, 24.
211
00:10:01,994 --> 00:10:04,372
Mr. Scat, I am 21.
Now deal with it.
212
00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,290
Okay, marketer to marketer,
213
00:10:06,457 --> 00:10:08,501
- you're not 21, and...
- What?
214
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:11,003
...you're not gay.
215
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:13,214
I graduated from
high school when I was 15,
216
00:10:13,381 --> 00:10:15,132
courtesy of an
advanced-learning program.
217
00:10:15,299 --> 00:10:17,885
I did four years at UCLA,
an MBA at Stanford,
218
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,388
and now after three months
at Addison, I am 21 years old.
219
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:22,348
I lie about going to Stanford too.
220
00:10:22,515 --> 00:10:24,016
Perhaps you should
see someone about that.
221
00:10:24,183 --> 00:10:27,645
Look, Fukk's mediocre,
it's not great.
222
00:10:27,812 --> 00:10:30,564
I was thinking, what if the can
has a ton of compressed air in it
223
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,191
so that when you pop one,
everyone around hears it?
224
00:10:32,358 --> 00:10:34,860
No, we had a bad experience
with aeration in Massachusetts.
225
00:10:35,027 --> 00:10:38,114
300 people called to complain
about excessive gassiness.
226
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,699
And besides, there was
that exploding-can fatality.
227
00:10:40,866 --> 00:10:43,411
Have I had you sign
a non-disclosure form?
228
00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:44,787
- No.
- I'm going to need you to do that.
229
00:10:44,954 --> 00:10:46,497
I'll come into your office tomorrow.
230
00:10:46,664 --> 00:10:48,791
Actually I don't need you to come in
until we present to the board,
231
00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,126
and they don't convene until next week.
232
00:10:50,292 --> 00:10:53,045
- I'll courier you the form.
- Mediocre, huh?
233
00:10:53,212 --> 00:10:55,631
Look, I work for a company
that could buy
234
00:10:55,798 --> 00:10:57,800
a continent if they wanted to.
235
00:10:57,967 --> 00:10:59,844
I have people that fix ideas.
236
00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:01,846
Addiland? Hmm.
237
00:11:02,012 --> 00:11:03,806
The point is just sit tight.
238
00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:06,559
I'm going to have my team
work through the night to make it great.
239
00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:08,436
I'm assembling them now.
240
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:09,770
Okay.
241
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,856
- Okay.
- Could you not use that word?
242
00:11:12,022 --> 00:11:13,524
"Okay"?
243
00:11:13,691 --> 00:11:16,360
Look, "Addy" is the second most
well-known word in the world.
244
00:11:16,527 --> 00:11:18,112
We're shooting for number one.
245
00:11:18,279 --> 00:11:19,655
- You get me?
- I get you.
246
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,117
- Why Six?
- What?
247
00:11:23,284 --> 00:11:26,495
Why did you pick Six?
Why not, you know, Five?
248
00:11:26,662 --> 00:11:29,665
I didn't pick it.
It is my real name.
249
00:11:29,832 --> 00:11:32,209
Nobody's parents give them
an unusually cool name.
250
00:11:32,376 --> 00:11:33,711
There are only
parent-given regular names
251
00:11:33,878 --> 00:11:36,046
and parent-given
embarrassing names.
252
00:11:36,213 --> 00:11:39,008
I went to school with a kid named Petal,
for Christ's sake.
253
00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:41,969
I hate to wreck your theory,
but I was named Six by my parents.
254
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,471
Although not at first.
255
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,639
When I was born,
I was christened "Zero,"
256
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,309
when I turned one,
I was renamed to "One."
257
00:11:48,476 --> 00:11:51,103
It was actually quite touching,
having my name as well as my age
258
00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:53,272
on my birthday cake
in frosty blue icing.
259
00:11:53,439 --> 00:11:55,900
Even if I believed you can
remember your first birthday,
260
00:11:56,066 --> 00:11:58,444
which I don't,
what happened to Seven?
261
00:11:58,611 --> 00:12:01,322
When I was six, my parents
died in a plane crash.
262
00:12:01,489 --> 00:12:03,491
Taxi!
263
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,993
- We'll be in touch.
264
00:12:10,539 --> 00:12:12,124
I'm in love.
265
00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:14,335
She's like a rose dipped in poison.
266
00:12:14,502 --> 00:12:17,087
She sells herself better
than anyone I've ever met.
267
00:12:17,254 --> 00:12:19,882
I think there was some sexual tension.
I've always wanted sexual tension.
268
00:12:20,049 --> 00:12:21,383
She's having a team
work through the night
269
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:23,177
to present to the board
tomorrow and she said
270
00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:25,012
they don't meet till next week.
She lies right to my face,
271
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,097
outrageous lies, and you know what?
I believe them.
272
00:12:27,264 --> 00:12:28,974
She's trying to steal my idea.
She's fantastic!
273
00:12:29,141 --> 00:12:30,392
Yes.
274
00:12:32,603 --> 00:12:34,772
I wonder what her real name is.
275
00:12:34,939 --> 00:12:37,399
Please leave a message
at the tone.
276
00:12:37,566 --> 00:12:40,027
Hey, Mom, you'll never believe this.
277
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,279
I pitched an idea to Addison
Cola Company yesterday.
278
00:12:42,446 --> 00:12:45,199
And, well, nothing's for sure yet,
but they're having me
279
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:47,451
- present to the board today.
- Hey hey.
280
00:12:47,618 --> 00:12:49,954
- Hey!
- Hey hey!
281
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,997
Hey you! Damn it!
282
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,209
Oh, hey!
283
00:12:55,376 --> 00:12:57,670
Scat on voicemail:
You'd get a real kick out of this.
284
00:12:57,836 --> 00:13:00,047
I mean it's a whole room
filled with rich executives
285
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:02,341
all listening to me
pitch my drink idea.
286
00:13:02,508 --> 00:13:04,176
Wish me luck, I wore a suit.
287
00:13:04,343 --> 00:13:06,470
- It's Pete's.
288
00:13:06,637 --> 00:13:09,848
And later, we will further develop...
- Come back here!
289
00:13:12,601 --> 00:13:13,769
What's going on?
290
00:13:13,936 --> 00:13:15,521
Hey!
291
00:13:15,688 --> 00:13:17,690
We are prepared to go
to all measures...
292
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,069
However as we--
293
00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:26,740
Sorry I'm late.
294
00:13:27,825 --> 00:13:30,369
Traffic was toxic.
295
00:13:30,536 --> 00:13:35,291
Chairman, gentlemen,
may I present to you Mr. Scat?
296
00:13:35,457 --> 00:13:37,376
The creator of Fukk.
How's everybody doing?
297
00:13:37,543 --> 00:13:39,878
Is Mr. Scat here
one of our employees?
298
00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:42,715
Actually, he is--
- No, not yet.
299
00:13:42,881 --> 00:13:45,134
Sir, he is simply
a contractor that I've brought in
300
00:13:45,301 --> 00:13:47,761
- to help with some logistics.
- I hate to burst your bubble,
301
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:50,514
but we don't develop products
that we don't own.
302
00:13:50,681 --> 00:13:52,891
Gentlemen, my partner
may have misled you.
303
00:13:53,058 --> 00:13:55,269
See, Mr. Scat and I have
co-developed Fukk.
304
00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:57,896
And he is prepared to relinquish
trademark rights for only $2 million.
305
00:13:58,063 --> 00:14:01,650
- That's good.
306
00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:05,321
Does that mean...?
307
00:14:05,487 --> 00:14:08,741
Yes, Scat,
you're rich and famous.
308
00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:14,330
You did register
that trademark, didn't you?
309
00:14:25,174 --> 00:14:27,593
Thanks, hon. That's enough.
310
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:33,766
Number 32!
311
00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:36,560
- Hi!
- Hi! Hello!
312
00:14:36,727 --> 00:14:38,437
If I have a name for a new drink
and it hasn't been registered,
313
00:14:38,604 --> 00:14:39,772
I can do that through you, right?
314
00:14:39,938 --> 00:14:42,232
Oh yes, dear.
What's the name of your drink?
315
00:14:42,399 --> 00:14:44,443
It's F-U-K-K.
316
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:46,904
Oh, "Fook"?
317
00:14:47,071 --> 00:14:50,866
Okay. I'll just enter that
into the machine here.
318
00:14:57,915 --> 00:14:59,625
"Fook, Fook,
Fook, Fook, Fook,
319
00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:00,793
Fook, Fook, Fook,
Fook, Fook."
320
00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:02,920
Ooh, I'm sorry.
321
00:15:03,087 --> 00:15:04,838
That name has already
been registered.
322
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,758
- Just this morning too.
- What?
323
00:15:07,925 --> 00:15:09,593
One person but with two names.
324
00:15:10,636 --> 00:15:13,389
Fucking bitch.
325
00:15:15,057 --> 00:15:17,601
- What's her real name?
- Huh?
326
00:15:17,768 --> 00:15:20,396
One of her names is Six.
What's her other name?
327
00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:23,691
Oh, uh, one of the names
is Peter Ang...
328
00:15:24,942 --> 00:15:27,611
and the other is Sneaky Pete.
329
00:15:27,778 --> 00:15:30,614
Huh! That's kind of fun--
330
00:15:45,087 --> 00:15:46,588
Shit!
331
00:15:46,755 --> 00:15:48,924
- Pick up, pick up!
332
00:15:49,091 --> 00:15:51,677
Sneaky Pete.
Now it actually fucking makes sense.
333
00:15:51,844 --> 00:15:54,763
You asshole.
You fucking asshole! I trusted you.
334
00:15:54,930 --> 00:15:57,891
Do you think they want
a stolen idea, Pete?
335
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,144
Nobody likes a lawsuit.
Six isn't stupid.
336
00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:02,312
She knows how to navigate
these things.
337
00:16:02,479 --> 00:16:05,566
I've already heard from her people,
her legal department, they--
338
00:16:27,337 --> 00:16:29,173
Fuck.
339
00:16:29,339 --> 00:16:31,675
Well, congratulations.
340
00:16:31,842 --> 00:16:34,219
You've just completed
"Marketing 101."
341
00:16:34,386 --> 00:16:36,388
Hello. Hello?
342
00:16:36,555 --> 00:16:38,891
Good evening, Mr. Becker.
343
00:16:39,057 --> 00:16:41,393
- Who's this?
- I have good news for you, Mr. Becker.
344
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,146
- And what would that be?
- You're the winner
345
00:16:44,313 --> 00:16:46,356
of the Comtel
ring-in-the-savings draw,
346
00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:48,942
entitling you to three big months
of our crystal-clear
347
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:52,988
long-distance service
at 20% off the regular low low price.
348
00:16:53,155 --> 00:16:55,574
- Isn't that incredible?
- Yeah, I'm not interested in any...
349
00:16:55,741 --> 00:16:57,242
And that's not all.
350
00:16:57,409 --> 00:16:59,536
If you sign up for our dial-up
Internet access plan,
351
00:16:59,703 --> 00:17:00,996
you can be surfing
at breakneck speeds
352
00:17:01,163 --> 00:17:04,166
- for the jaw-dropping price of $19.99.
353
00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:06,084
Do you have a credit card,
Mr. Becker?
354
00:17:06,251 --> 00:17:07,878
- ♪ Life, it goes on... ♪
355
00:17:08,045 --> 00:17:10,756
♪ When the light is on my side ♪
356
00:17:12,841 --> 00:17:15,552
♪ Love reveals itself to me ♪
357
00:17:15,719 --> 00:17:17,054
♪ Then I can ♪
358
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:21,266
♪ Yes, I can ♪
359
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,855
♪ I can be set free ♪
360
00:17:28,065 --> 00:17:30,651
♪ Every garden can grow ♪
361
00:17:31,944 --> 00:17:34,988
♪ Every mouth can form a smile ♪
362
00:17:36,114 --> 00:17:38,909
♪ So let yourself go ♪
363
00:17:39,076 --> 00:17:42,454
♪ Ease your mind for a while ♪
364
00:17:42,621 --> 00:17:44,331
♪ When you're tired ♪
365
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,625
♪ And you're torn ♪
366
00:17:46,792 --> 00:17:49,753
♪ Humankind, it seems
filled with misery ♪
367
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,172
♪ Then you can ♪
368
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,175
- ♪ Yes, you can... ♪
- Fuck!
369
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:58,387
Honey, I just saw
your drink this afternoon
370
00:17:58,554 --> 00:18:00,472
in the soda machine
at the tennis club.
371
00:18:00,639 --> 00:18:01,974
And Jenna--
372
00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:04,059
you know Jenna,
Sophie's mother--
373
00:18:04,226 --> 00:18:06,520
anyway, I overheard her
telling her friends
374
00:18:06,687 --> 00:18:09,439
how she just loves a good Fukk.
375
00:18:09,606 --> 00:18:13,610
I realized she was talking
about you! Your drink!
376
00:18:13,777 --> 00:18:16,989
I'm just so proud of you.
Send Pete my love, honey,
377
00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:19,491
and include him in
everything you're doing, huh?
378
00:18:19,658 --> 00:18:21,285
We'll speak soon. Bye-bye.
379
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,830
♪ Yes, I can ♪
380
00:18:26,248 --> 00:18:28,333
♪ Yes, we can ♪
381
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,006
♪ We can be set free... ♪
382
00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:37,426
A BLT.
- ♪ We can know peace ♪
383
00:18:38,969 --> 00:18:41,805
♪ We can be set free. ♪
384
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,350
Scat!
385
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:51,773
You look, um...
386
00:18:53,317 --> 00:18:54,735
how are you?
387
00:18:55,736 --> 00:18:59,114
Yeah, I'm good.
I'm great. Thank you.
388
00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:02,659
Good. Good!
389
00:19:02,826 --> 00:19:04,369
Very good.
390
00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:07,873
- Fukk.
- Hmm?
391
00:19:08,874 --> 00:19:10,292
Oh, yeah.
392
00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:12,002
Yeah, they're great.
They're...
393
00:19:12,169 --> 00:19:13,712
they're fantastic. I-I...
394
00:19:13,879 --> 00:19:16,548
I really like what you did
with the carbonation.
395
00:19:16,715 --> 00:19:19,426
We put a disclaimer
on the bottom of the can.
396
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,345
Yeah, I saw that.
397
00:19:24,765 --> 00:19:27,184
I... wondered
398
00:19:27,351 --> 00:19:28,685
about how you might be doing.
399
00:19:28,852 --> 00:19:32,105
I'm fantastic.
400
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:33,982
I mean...
401
00:19:34,149 --> 00:19:36,109
you mean the trademark thing?
402
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,986
That's business, you know.
403
00:19:38,153 --> 00:19:40,322
But I've got so much
going on, that...
404
00:19:40,489 --> 00:19:42,783
it didn't...
405
00:19:45,786 --> 00:19:47,329
How's it doing?
406
00:19:49,331 --> 00:19:52,250
Number one energy drink
in the nation.
407
00:19:54,503 --> 00:19:56,755
Wow, that's fantastic.
408
00:19:56,922 --> 00:19:59,925
I mean congratulations.
That's huge.
409
00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:02,928
Yeah.
410
00:20:03,095 --> 00:20:05,180
It wasn't really me.
411
00:20:05,347 --> 00:20:08,141
Hey, Six, let's go!
412
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,477
Pete's waiting.
He's got a big surprise for you.
413
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:11,853
Of course.
414
00:20:34,876 --> 00:20:37,379
Mr. Pete would like to firstly
415
00:20:37,546 --> 00:20:39,131
thank everyone in this room
416
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:41,258
for all of their hard work
and determination
417
00:20:41,425 --> 00:20:43,093
during the summer Fukk campaign.
418
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:46,763
Gentlemen, we are once again
projected at number one.
419
00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:49,850
And well deserved.
420
00:20:50,017 --> 00:20:51,435
Now, now...
421
00:20:51,601 --> 00:20:54,604
Mr. Pete would like
to personally extend
422
00:20:54,771 --> 00:20:57,941
his warmest congratulations
to Ms. Six.
423
00:20:58,108 --> 00:21:00,652
After all, this was her baby.
424
00:21:00,819 --> 00:21:02,571
But you can rest assured, Ms. Six,
425
00:21:02,738 --> 00:21:05,615
with Pete fathering
the Fukk campaign from here on out,
426
00:21:05,782 --> 00:21:08,702
- your baby is in good hands.
427
00:21:08,869 --> 00:21:12,998
Hopefully, the Classic campaign
won't be too much work for you.
428
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,220
What was that?
429
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,181
My baby shower.
430
00:21:29,347 --> 00:21:31,475
- You're not...
- No shit!
431
00:21:31,641 --> 00:21:34,436
I've been taken off Fukk
and stuck babysitting Addy Classics.
432
00:21:34,603 --> 00:21:37,522
- Why?
- Senior management loves Sneaky Pete.
433
00:21:37,689 --> 00:21:39,316
Everyone else is terrified of him!
434
00:21:39,483 --> 00:21:42,235
So I'm stuck implementing
a 15-year-old campaign.
435
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:44,488
Fucking men!
436
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,950
I'm replacing the campaign
with something better.
437
00:21:49,117 --> 00:21:50,911
- Much better.
- What's that?
438
00:21:51,078 --> 00:21:53,163
Ideas aren't my strength, Scat.
439
00:21:53,330 --> 00:21:56,249
My strengths are development, management
and negotiation, which clearly
440
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:59,544
you don't have or else you'd be worth $2
million right now, wouldn't you?
441
00:22:02,881 --> 00:22:04,382
You got another Fukk in you?
442
00:22:05,467 --> 00:22:07,344
- Have I...?
- Right.
443
00:22:07,511 --> 00:22:09,846
I shouldn't have asked.
I'm sure you're busy.
444
00:22:10,013 --> 00:22:11,556
- So we'd be working together.
- Yes.
445
00:22:11,723 --> 00:22:13,141
- Having lunch together.
- Possibly.
446
00:22:13,308 --> 00:22:14,935
- Living together.
- Yeah-- no!
447
00:22:15,102 --> 00:22:16,812
- Why would we be living together?
- I need a place to stay.
448
00:22:16,978 --> 00:22:19,815
- I don't have furniture at my place.
- I'll loan you a mattress.
449
00:22:19,981 --> 00:22:21,900
- The lease is almost up.
- This is only for five days.
450
00:22:22,067 --> 00:22:23,819
- Why?
- If any new production is gonna make it
451
00:22:23,985 --> 00:22:26,029
in time for summer,
they need it by the end of the week.
452
00:22:26,196 --> 00:22:29,449
So you're asking me to come up
with an entire advertising campaign
453
00:22:29,616 --> 00:22:32,911
- for Addy Classics in five days?
- No, that would be a waste of time.
454
00:22:33,078 --> 00:22:36,164
I need you to come up with
an entire advertising campaign for Fukk.
455
00:22:36,331 --> 00:22:38,125
I want to beat Pete.
456
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:40,919
C'mon, what's the worst
that could happen?
457
00:22:41,086 --> 00:22:43,964
You don't think of anything
and go back to your...
458
00:22:44,131 --> 00:22:45,966
other work.
459
00:22:46,133 --> 00:22:47,551
My other...?
460
00:22:47,717 --> 00:22:49,803
I'm definitely staying
at your place then.
461
00:22:53,140 --> 00:22:55,851
I live in Times Square
with my girlfriend.
462
00:22:57,686 --> 00:22:59,771
Tina doesn't like men...
463
00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:02,190
at all.
464
00:23:04,025 --> 00:23:05,277
Why are you smiling?
465
00:23:07,654 --> 00:23:09,322
'Cause this is what it feels like
466
00:23:09,489 --> 00:23:11,741
to be the guy you need.
467
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:19,040
You can have the sofa.
Not a bed.
468
00:23:19,207 --> 00:23:21,793
- Pillows are subject to availability.
- Sure.
469
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,004
And you do not wander
into rooms, you knock.
470
00:23:24,171 --> 00:23:26,047
Of course.
471
00:23:26,214 --> 00:23:27,966
And most importantly...
472
00:23:28,133 --> 00:23:30,051
you leave that toilet seat down.
473
00:23:30,218 --> 00:23:32,304
I may not be able to control that.
474
00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:34,681
- Then I hope you can hold it.
- It's instinctual.
475
00:23:34,848 --> 00:23:37,017
I think a handshake is appropriate.
476
00:23:37,184 --> 00:23:39,895
This is exciting.
I feel good about this.
477
00:23:40,061 --> 00:23:43,315
Five days though?
Isn't that cutting it close?
478
00:23:43,481 --> 00:23:46,234
Whatever.
We can probably stretch it.
479
00:23:47,277 --> 00:23:48,820
Loose deadline, right?
480
00:23:50,864 --> 00:23:52,282
You can do this.
481
00:23:54,075 --> 00:23:55,911
I'll assign a team once you
get the hang of things,
482
00:23:56,077 --> 00:23:57,621
relieve some of your... stress.
483
00:23:57,787 --> 00:23:59,206
Kind of like you did on Fukk?
484
00:24:19,059 --> 00:24:20,936
This is it.
485
00:24:36,159 --> 00:24:37,911
Are you gonna say it?
486
00:24:40,372 --> 00:24:42,332
- You're clearly not a lesbian.
487
00:24:42,499 --> 00:24:44,000
What?
488
00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:47,504
We leave for work at 7:00.
I'll wake you at 6:00.
489
00:24:47,671 --> 00:24:49,923
- Okay.
- Scat, that word.
490
00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:51,841
Even outside of work?
491
00:24:52,008 --> 00:24:54,094
- There is no outside of work.
492
00:24:55,470 --> 00:24:58,473
Shit. Shit!
493
00:25:16,491 --> 00:25:18,034
I made you breakfast.
494
00:25:19,703 --> 00:25:21,621
Wow.
495
00:25:22,956 --> 00:25:25,000
I never would have picked you
for a woman who would cook for a man.
496
00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:26,251
Why not?
497
00:25:27,335 --> 00:25:29,504
- Because of the sexism.
- Are you trying to be sensitive?
498
00:25:29,671 --> 00:25:31,172
- I am sensitive.
- So, what, according to you,
499
00:25:31,339 --> 00:25:33,133
women aren't allowed to cook for men?
500
00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:35,635
Reversing the gender stereotype
doesn't eliminate it.
501
00:25:35,802 --> 00:25:38,263
If you weren't sexist, you wouldn't
care I made you breakfast.
502
00:25:38,430 --> 00:25:41,099
- All right.
- No no no, okay, I'm sorry.
503
00:25:41,266 --> 00:25:43,893
I'm sorry. Thank you.
504
00:25:44,060 --> 00:25:45,729
I appreciate it, Six.
505
00:25:47,647 --> 00:25:50,275
You like them fluffy?
I made them fluffy.
506
00:25:51,651 --> 00:25:55,196
- I love fluffy.
- Eat quick, we leave in 20.
507
00:25:57,365 --> 00:25:59,326
Quicker.
508
00:26:02,537 --> 00:26:05,707
In "Marketing 482:
Product Relatability,"
509
00:26:05,874 --> 00:26:09,544
you learn to analyze love,
longing and desire
510
00:26:09,711 --> 00:26:12,714
as if it were a tool to sell a product.
511
00:26:14,049 --> 00:26:16,009
As far as we know, it's a stimulation
512
00:26:16,176 --> 00:26:19,554
of the brain's ventral tegmental area
and caudate nucleus.
513
00:26:19,721 --> 00:26:23,058
These areas are also involved
in major purchasing decisions,
514
00:26:23,224 --> 00:26:26,478
so a lot of research is going
into how to trigger them directly,
515
00:26:26,644 --> 00:26:28,855
with a fragrance, for example,
516
00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:31,775
or a particular sequence of notes.
517
00:26:31,941 --> 00:26:34,527
The ultimate goal,
of course, is a method
518
00:26:34,694 --> 00:26:37,280
of making any given person
fall hopelessly in love
519
00:26:37,447 --> 00:26:39,532
with any given product.
520
00:26:40,909 --> 00:26:44,537
We haven't figured that out yet,
but... we're getting there.
521
00:26:45,705 --> 00:26:47,374
We're getting there.
522
00:26:56,883 --> 00:26:59,135
Signing in a sub-contractor.
523
00:27:03,306 --> 00:27:04,724
Today.
524
00:27:06,101 --> 00:27:07,102
Yeah.
525
00:27:25,286 --> 00:27:26,955
Six.
526
00:27:30,417 --> 00:27:33,336
Who the fuck told the band
we'd cover their mini-bar?
527
00:27:33,503 --> 00:27:36,548
No, it's not fucking all right.
It's not fucking all right at all!
528
00:27:36,714 --> 00:27:39,050
We want 50k on that, minimum.
529
00:27:39,217 --> 00:27:41,636
You can't get a good-looking
priest for under 50k.
530
00:27:41,803 --> 00:27:43,680
I spent hours going
through the casting.
531
00:27:43,847 --> 00:27:45,140
Welcome back.
532
00:27:49,978 --> 00:27:51,688
This is my office?
533
00:27:51,855 --> 00:27:55,608
- No, that is your office.
534
00:27:57,152 --> 00:27:59,279
Call me if you need anything.
535
00:28:00,905 --> 00:28:02,282
Oh, and by the way,
536
00:28:02,449 --> 00:28:05,910
if anyone asks, you're consulting
on an Addy Classics campaign.
537
00:28:23,136 --> 00:28:25,054
So you're the new Chet.
538
00:28:26,055 --> 00:28:28,433
- Excuse me?
- A word of advice...
539
00:28:32,145 --> 00:28:33,813
Nothing.
540
00:28:56,336 --> 00:28:57,795
Scat, don't do that.
541
00:28:57,962 --> 00:29:00,131
You feel important,
but you look pompous.
542
00:29:00,298 --> 00:29:02,550
That is quite a control complex
you've got there.
543
00:29:02,717 --> 00:29:04,594
I know that you enjoy
psychoanalyzing me,
544
00:29:04,761 --> 00:29:06,888
but not everything I do reveals
my innermost secret feelings.
545
00:29:07,055 --> 00:29:09,057
Sometimes I'm just
trying to prevent you
546
00:29:09,224 --> 00:29:11,893
from embarrassing us.
You need a little leadership.
547
00:29:12,060 --> 00:29:15,146
Oh, that's leadership?
What about your inability
548
00:29:15,313 --> 00:29:18,191
- to accept anyone else's point of view?
- Focus. Let's focus.
549
00:29:18,358 --> 00:29:20,276
- Your paranoia?
- Business savvy.
550
00:29:20,443 --> 00:29:22,403
Obsessive need to know
everything that's going on?
551
00:29:22,570 --> 00:29:24,697
- Organizational skills.
- Aggressiveness?
552
00:29:32,705 --> 00:29:35,708
Okay, that means
we're moving up the 3:00
553
00:29:35,875 --> 00:29:38,628
to 2:00, but that's fine,
we can move the 2:00--
554
00:29:38,795 --> 00:29:41,506
that's the old 2:00-- to 4:00.
555
00:29:46,636 --> 00:29:48,471
Mr. Pete?
556
00:29:51,599 --> 00:29:53,184
Mr. Pete.
557
00:29:53,351 --> 00:29:54,686
This is Scat,
558
00:29:54,852 --> 00:29:56,938
a contractor I've brought in to help
559
00:29:57,105 --> 00:29:59,983
- with some campaign logistics.
560
00:30:00,149 --> 00:30:01,985
Man's voice:
"Marketing 545:
561
00:30:02,151 --> 00:30:05,989
Creating and Sustaining
Competitive Advantage in the Workplace."
562
00:30:06,155 --> 00:30:09,284
With rivalry always comes
motivation to succeed.
563
00:30:12,245 --> 00:30:14,622
So what do we have?
564
00:30:18,001 --> 00:30:19,836
Okay.
565
00:30:53,995 --> 00:30:55,747
I know that some...
566
00:30:55,913 --> 00:30:59,417
creative people can find pressure
counter-productive, but...
567
00:30:59,584 --> 00:31:01,085
tomorrow's Friday.
568
00:31:01,252 --> 00:31:03,796
What happens if I can't
think of anything?
569
00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:05,632
I mean...
570
00:31:05,798 --> 00:31:08,509
you can't really rush
this sort of thing, you know?
571
00:31:10,553 --> 00:31:12,096
I have faith in you.
572
00:31:19,270 --> 00:31:21,147
All right.
573
00:31:21,314 --> 00:31:22,815
Okay, well...
574
00:31:22,982 --> 00:31:24,692
this needs more work,
but tell me what you think.
575
00:31:24,859 --> 00:31:28,029
- So we open on a beach.
576
00:31:28,196 --> 00:31:30,365
Frolicking teenagers, sun, bikinis,
577
00:31:30,531 --> 00:31:32,450
then a shadow falls over them.
578
00:31:32,617 --> 00:31:34,952
They turn and there's
this gigantic beach ball.
579
00:31:35,119 --> 00:31:36,954
I mean, it's 100' tall, right?
580
00:31:37,121 --> 00:31:39,082
And as it rolls towards them,
581
00:31:39,248 --> 00:31:41,209
they run and they scream and they...
582
00:31:41,376 --> 00:31:44,879
- what?
- How does that sell the product?
583
00:31:45,046 --> 00:31:48,383
- It's just cool.
- We don't need "just cool," Scat!
584
00:31:48,549 --> 00:31:50,510
We need brilliant!
585
00:31:50,677 --> 00:31:52,303
They're going to fire me, Scat.
586
00:31:53,554 --> 00:31:55,306
I canceled
the old campaign already.
587
00:31:58,184 --> 00:31:59,727
It's too late to go back.
588
00:32:01,896 --> 00:32:04,148
Pete put me in charge of mundane
re-processing procedures,
589
00:32:04,315 --> 00:32:05,692
so I just...
590
00:32:05,858 --> 00:32:07,652
canceled it.
591
00:32:07,819 --> 00:32:10,154
So unless you come up
with something brilliant
592
00:32:10,321 --> 00:32:11,989
by 6:00 tomorrow afternoon,
Addy will have
593
00:32:12,156 --> 00:32:14,909
no summer campaign for Fukk
and we'll both be fired.
594
00:32:15,076 --> 00:32:17,787
Not in a cool way.
Not dramatically.
595
00:32:19,497 --> 00:32:22,583
We'll just clean out
our desks and go home.
596
00:32:25,545 --> 00:32:28,881
You'll catch a bus back
to your furniture-free apartment
597
00:32:29,048 --> 00:32:31,008
and disappear.
598
00:32:46,858 --> 00:32:48,484
"Business 402:
599
00:32:48,651 --> 00:32:51,404
Valuable Relationships
and Synergies--
600
00:32:51,571 --> 00:32:53,614
How to Cultivate
a Valuable Partnership
601
00:32:53,781 --> 00:32:56,659
and Recognize When You're
Being Leveraged Unfairly."
602
00:33:00,371 --> 00:33:02,457
Scat just happened
to be sick that week.
603
00:33:04,625 --> 00:33:06,043
Help help-- oop.
604
00:33:09,630 --> 00:33:11,466
You can do it.
- What?
605
00:33:11,632 --> 00:33:14,260
Come up with the world's greatest ad
in less than 12 hours?
606
00:33:14,427 --> 00:33:16,304
Really, you think so?
'Cause I gotta say,
607
00:33:16,471 --> 00:33:18,723
at this point I think
it's more likely that I'm not.
608
00:33:18,890 --> 00:33:20,892
It would be irresponsible of me,
as your manager,
609
00:33:21,058 --> 00:33:23,269
to put that excess pressure on you.
610
00:33:23,436 --> 00:33:25,438
This isn't excess pressure?
611
00:33:25,605 --> 00:33:28,024
This feels like excess pressure.
612
00:33:28,191 --> 00:33:29,984
It's simple, Scat:
613
00:33:30,151 --> 00:33:31,986
yield results, keep yourjob.
614
00:33:32,153 --> 00:33:33,988
Why'd you have to go and make
me breakfast, and then just--
615
00:33:34,155 --> 00:33:36,449
- You're an adult. Try and--
- You don't give a crap about me.
616
00:33:36,616 --> 00:33:39,368
- You never have. I feel used.
- You're throwing a tantrum.
617
00:33:39,535 --> 00:33:41,204
Well then, you shouldn't
have made me breakfast.
618
00:33:41,370 --> 00:33:42,747
I feel like I'm going
to my own execution.
619
00:33:42,914 --> 00:33:45,708
You knew it was impossible,
but you still had the nerve.
620
00:33:45,875 --> 00:33:47,460
You know what?
This isn't even about drama.
621
00:33:47,627 --> 00:33:50,046
This is about basic respect
and human decency,
622
00:33:50,213 --> 00:33:52,048
and you don't--
623
00:34:07,438 --> 00:34:09,106
You can do this.
624
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,197
It only takes an 18th of a second
625
00:34:16,364 --> 00:34:18,950
for a synapse in your brain
to trigger a thought
626
00:34:19,116 --> 00:34:22,119
or a million-dollar idea.
627
00:34:53,359 --> 00:34:54,986
What do you got?
628
00:34:57,238 --> 00:35:00,533
Here's how to spot the difference
between art and marketing.
629
00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:03,411
Marketing starts with an unfulfilled
need in the marketplace
630
00:35:03,578 --> 00:35:05,204
and figures out how to plug it.
631
00:35:05,371 --> 00:35:07,874
Art, on the other hand,
starts with the idea.
632
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,334
Figuring out how to sell it
comes later, if at all.
633
00:35:10,501 --> 00:35:13,713
This way makes better stuff, but a lot
of the time there's no market for it.
634
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,339
This way makes more money,
635
00:35:15,506 --> 00:35:17,550
but a lot of the time the idea sucks,
636
00:35:17,717 --> 00:35:20,344
'cause you can't force ideas
to turn up when you need them.
637
00:35:20,511 --> 00:35:22,263
They just do...
638
00:35:22,430 --> 00:35:24,223
or they don't.
639
00:35:25,474 --> 00:35:27,226
I've got nothing.
640
00:35:32,273 --> 00:35:33,900
What?
641
00:35:41,699 --> 00:35:43,826
Well, at least you had fun.
642
00:35:47,872 --> 00:35:51,751
- You just flushed me down the toilet.
- Beach balls?
643
00:35:51,918 --> 00:35:53,753
I don't know, maybe we should
have gone with that.
644
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,089
No, we shouldn't. It was a stupid idea,
just like all your other stupid ideas.
645
00:35:57,256 --> 00:35:59,550
Your company paid $2 million
for one of those stupid ideas.
646
00:35:59,717 --> 00:36:01,719
- Because I sold it to them!
- You know what?
647
00:36:01,886 --> 00:36:04,513
This is not cool.
648
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,724
This is not cool.
Fuck!
649
00:36:06,891 --> 00:36:09,727
- Fuck!
- Scat, cut it out.
650
00:36:09,894 --> 00:36:12,104
I feel like I'm babysitting.
651
00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:15,483
It is not acceptable
to throw tantrums in public places.
652
00:36:22,907 --> 00:36:24,742
- Don't do that.
- I am not going back to that life
653
00:36:24,909 --> 00:36:26,994
where everything was annoying
and boring and sucked!
654
00:36:27,161 --> 00:36:29,121
- I'm not!
655
00:36:29,288 --> 00:36:32,625
- People actually get killed doing that.
656
00:36:32,792 --> 00:36:34,919
Shit!
Uh-oh.
657
00:36:36,712 --> 00:36:37,922
Scat?
658
00:36:38,965 --> 00:36:39,966
Scat!
659
00:36:42,385 --> 00:36:44,053
Scat?
660
00:36:44,220 --> 00:36:45,846
Scat?
661
00:37:01,779 --> 00:37:04,407
Last year,
12 Americans lost their lives
662
00:37:04,573 --> 00:37:07,076
while trying to steal
from vending machines.
663
00:37:08,494 --> 00:37:10,162
Wouldn't you die for a Fukk?
664
00:37:10,329 --> 00:37:12,248
- Holy crap.
665
00:37:12,415 --> 00:37:14,417
Did they just buy it?
666
00:37:15,668 --> 00:37:17,003
They bought it.
667
00:37:17,169 --> 00:37:19,046
- What's wrong with you?
- What?
668
00:37:19,213 --> 00:37:20,881
- You're excited.
- No, I'm not.
669
00:37:21,048 --> 00:37:22,717
Yes, you are, you're excited.
670
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,721
I'm finding you
very attractive right now.
671
00:37:26,887 --> 00:37:29,223
- Really?
672
00:37:58,377 --> 00:38:00,337
- So?
- Over it now.
673
00:38:07,261 --> 00:38:08,971
Congratulations!
674
00:38:14,518 --> 00:38:16,854
Can I have everyone's
attention, please?
675
00:38:19,523 --> 00:38:22,735
Thank you.
Mr. Pete would like to congratulate
676
00:38:22,902 --> 00:38:25,780
Ms. Six and Mr. Scat
on the new campaign.
677
00:38:25,946 --> 00:38:27,656
This is exactly the type of initiative
678
00:38:27,823 --> 00:38:29,909
that Mr. Pete likes
to foster in New Products,
679
00:38:30,076 --> 00:38:31,827
so, well done.
680
00:38:35,623 --> 00:38:38,834
By the way, I am Mr. Pete's
new personal assistant.
681
00:38:39,001 --> 00:38:40,753
My name...
682
00:38:42,213 --> 00:38:44,131
is Three.
683
00:38:46,383 --> 00:38:48,094
That's my image!
684
00:38:48,260 --> 00:38:50,054
They've stolen my image!
685
00:38:50,221 --> 00:38:52,014
Come on,
you're twice the woman she is.
686
00:38:52,181 --> 00:38:54,225
- That's my image.
- 'Cause three plus three...
687
00:38:54,391 --> 00:38:56,018
Are you talking?
688
00:38:56,185 --> 00:38:58,646
Do you know how long
it took me to develop that?
689
00:38:58,813 --> 00:39:00,689
Three.
That's not even right!
690
00:39:00,856 --> 00:39:03,275
Three! What is that even
supposed to mean?
691
00:39:03,442 --> 00:39:06,946
What's Six supposed--
oh, of course.
692
00:39:14,411 --> 00:39:16,372
Six, Scat.
693
00:39:16,539 --> 00:39:18,958
Mr. Pete wanted you
to know that even though
694
00:39:19,125 --> 00:39:21,335
what happened yesterday
was an unforgivable
695
00:39:21,502 --> 00:39:23,170
and despicable form of sabotage,
696
00:39:23,337 --> 00:39:25,214
there are no hard feelings.
697
00:39:25,381 --> 00:39:28,843
Mr. Pete's only concern is
the outcome of this company.
698
00:39:29,009 --> 00:39:31,053
And we're going to work
really hard to make sure
699
00:39:31,220 --> 00:39:34,306
that this new campaign of yours
doesn't turn into a total disaster
700
00:39:34,473 --> 00:39:37,643
that consumes both of your careers.
Understand?
701
00:39:40,354 --> 00:39:42,064
Interesting look.
702
00:39:43,232 --> 00:39:45,776
Make sure that security
doesn't see you up here.
703
00:40:01,709 --> 00:40:03,502
Fukk!
704
00:40:03,669 --> 00:40:05,254
How was that?
705
00:40:05,421 --> 00:40:06,630
Six, check it out.
706
00:40:06,797 --> 00:40:09,258
We got the dailies
back from the studio.
707
00:40:09,425 --> 00:40:12,136
Not bad, Scat.
- Subtle, I like that.
708
00:40:12,303 --> 00:40:16,015
- Not bad at all.
- I thought you were Six.
709
00:40:16,182 --> 00:40:18,851
- I'm not Spock.
- Seriously...
710
00:40:19,018 --> 00:40:21,020
isn't this a little demeaning?
711
00:40:21,187 --> 00:40:23,522
Oops, said his name.
He was a fucking sick...
712
00:40:23,689 --> 00:40:25,065
Let me ask you something--
713
00:40:25,232 --> 00:40:27,651
and I know that this
is super personal,
714
00:40:27,818 --> 00:40:29,612
but I was just kind of wondering...
715
00:40:29,778 --> 00:40:32,656
why do you like Six so much?
716
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,368
Is it because you like
to be pushed around?
717
00:40:36,535 --> 00:40:38,287
No, of course not. Well--
718
00:40:38,454 --> 00:40:39,788
maybe that's part of it.
719
00:40:39,955 --> 00:40:41,749
You know it's not real, right?
720
00:40:41,916 --> 00:40:44,293
You know there's not
one thing genuine about her.
721
00:40:44,460 --> 00:40:46,545
You know that she's not even
a real lesbian, right?
722
00:40:46,712 --> 00:40:48,756
Yeah, of course I know that.
723
00:40:48,923 --> 00:40:51,592
You could have saved me
some embarrassment.
724
00:40:51,759 --> 00:40:55,471
Scat, there is nothing real
about her. She's just image!
725
00:40:57,223 --> 00:40:59,892
Why do you shackle yourself to her?
726
00:41:00,059 --> 00:41:02,436
Sneaky Pete will take care of you...
727
00:41:03,812 --> 00:41:05,981
- and so will I.
- No no no, you don't know Six...
728
00:41:07,441 --> 00:41:08,776
at all.
729
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,342
It's cold tonight.
730
00:41:36,303 --> 00:41:38,305
So you should sleep with me.
731
00:41:43,269 --> 00:41:46,563
A standard Vegas striptease
is seven minutes long.
732
00:41:46,730 --> 00:41:50,150
The woman should remove her top
733
00:41:50,317 --> 00:41:51,944
at the four-minute mark.
734
00:41:52,111 --> 00:41:55,197
At six minutes,
she should be naked...
735
00:41:55,364 --> 00:41:57,783
with the exception
of an optional prop.
736
00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:01,412
The beginner's mistake is
to get naked too fast,
737
00:42:01,578 --> 00:42:04,373
thinking that's what
the audience is there for.
738
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,793
It's not.
739
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,671
Sex is biology.
740
00:42:11,964 --> 00:42:13,590
Sex appeal
741
00:42:13,757 --> 00:42:15,467
is marketing.
742
00:42:17,469 --> 00:42:20,097
It's not the naked body
that's exciting.
743
00:42:22,224 --> 00:42:24,226
It's the possibility.
744
00:42:31,275 --> 00:42:33,360
That's your side.
745
00:42:33,527 --> 00:42:35,112
All right?
You stay on that side
746
00:42:35,279 --> 00:42:37,156
and this is my side.
747
00:42:37,323 --> 00:42:38,824
There is...
748
00:42:38,991 --> 00:42:40,617
no need for overlap.
749
00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:42,995
Okay.
750
00:42:44,038 --> 00:42:45,581
And don't fidget.
751
00:42:45,748 --> 00:42:48,500
You have a tendency
to fidget sometimes.
752
00:42:48,667 --> 00:42:50,294
Don't do that.
753
00:42:50,461 --> 00:42:52,921
- Okay.
- Scat, that word.
754
00:43:14,276 --> 00:43:15,903
- Ow! What was that?
755
00:43:16,070 --> 00:43:18,280
- What do you think you're doing?
- I am kissing you!
756
00:43:18,447 --> 00:43:21,367
- I'm not your little woman!
- You invited me to bed!
757
00:43:21,533 --> 00:43:24,036
You can't ever
take me for granted!
758
00:43:25,829 --> 00:43:28,082
- What am I doing here?
- I don't know!
759
00:43:28,248 --> 00:43:30,918
- I-- I don't know.
- Do you care about me?
760
00:43:31,085 --> 00:43:33,504
Be honest with me, do you?
Do you care about me?
761
00:43:35,005 --> 00:43:37,508
Look, I am begging you, Six.
I am begging you
762
00:43:37,674 --> 00:43:40,928
just to be honest with me
and to give me one clear sign.
763
00:43:47,726 --> 00:43:48,769
Look, I like you.
764
00:43:53,690 --> 00:43:56,735
I need to know if you
feel anything for me.
765
00:43:58,529 --> 00:44:01,907
Or if I'm just some naive moron that
you're using to get what you want.
766
00:44:10,165 --> 00:44:12,584
You're more than
a naive moron to me.
767
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:23,595
♪ There's a time ♪
768
00:44:23,762 --> 00:44:25,806
♪ When my love... ♪
769
00:44:25,973 --> 00:44:28,308
No, I'm doing Boston.
I thought you were doing New York.
770
00:44:28,475 --> 00:44:30,060
No, Sneaky Pete
is doing New York.
771
00:44:30,227 --> 00:44:32,020
He's doing "Letterman."
772
00:44:32,187 --> 00:44:34,523
He doesn't even speak!
773
00:44:34,690 --> 00:44:36,400
I guess I'll just do
Seattle and come home.
774
00:44:36,567 --> 00:44:38,861
- ♪ When my love was real... ♪
775
00:44:39,027 --> 00:44:42,030
- ♪ I feel so cold... ♪
776
00:44:42,197 --> 00:44:44,116
♪ Every time... ♪
777
00:44:44,283 --> 00:44:46,577
And when are you coming home?
778
00:44:46,743 --> 00:44:49,455
- Well, I guess in two days?
- ♪ When my love was real... ♪
779
00:44:49,621 --> 00:44:52,040
- Hurry.
- ♪ I feel so cold ♪
780
00:44:52,207 --> 00:44:56,837
- ♪ When a love is gone ♪
- ♪ When our love is gone ♪
781
00:44:57,004 --> 00:45:02,176
♪ Our love, I'm over you ♪
782
00:45:02,342 --> 00:45:05,637
- ♪ I'm over you ♪
- ♪ When our love is gone ♪
783
00:45:05,804 --> 00:45:08,307
♪ When our love is gone ♪
784
00:45:08,474 --> 00:45:11,351
♪ I'll be long gone ♪
785
00:45:11,518 --> 00:45:13,979
♪ And over you... ♪
786
00:45:19,693 --> 00:45:21,403
I'm home.
787
00:45:22,613 --> 00:45:23,906
Uh-huh.
788
00:45:24,907 --> 00:45:26,825
Uh-huh.
789
00:45:31,288 --> 00:45:32,748
Yeah.
790
00:45:35,083 --> 00:45:37,252
- Will you be paying compensation?
- How do you feel about this?
791
00:45:37,419 --> 00:45:39,838
What do you say to the family?
Can you answer that question?
792
00:45:40,005 --> 00:45:42,424
A community is in mourning,
and there's talk tonight of
793
00:45:42,591 --> 00:45:45,052
an investigation after a vending machine
tipped over on top of a teenage boy.
794
00:45:45,219 --> 00:45:46,970
Family and friends
are remembering the freshman...
795
00:45:47,137 --> 00:45:49,765
I just heard a loud thud.
I didn't think anything of it
796
00:45:49,932 --> 00:45:51,558
until I looked over.
There were cans every...
797
00:45:51,725 --> 00:45:53,227
Behind me you can see
798
00:45:53,393 --> 00:45:55,437
an incredible display
of cards, flowers...
799
00:45:55,604 --> 00:45:58,690
...says that about
40 students have taken advantage
800
00:45:58,857 --> 00:46:00,984
of the grief counseling at the school.
801
00:46:01,151 --> 00:46:03,570
Some have even had to go home.
802
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,731
Do you ever stop and think about
the people that we manipulate...
803
00:46:42,234 --> 00:46:44,152
into wanting something so badly...
804
00:46:46,738 --> 00:46:49,992
they'd do anything for a goddamn
energy drink. And for what?
805
00:46:50,158 --> 00:46:51,785
I mean, why?
806
00:46:55,914 --> 00:46:58,083
Why do you do this?
807
00:46:58,250 --> 00:47:00,836
Is there anything genuine about you?
808
00:47:01,003 --> 00:47:02,754
About what you do?
809
00:47:05,007 --> 00:47:06,842
And do you feel important?
810
00:47:07,009 --> 00:47:09,928
Do you feel empowered?
Is that it?
811
00:47:10,095 --> 00:47:12,389
What happens when you go home
812
00:47:12,556 --> 00:47:14,266
and get into bed
813
00:47:14,433 --> 00:47:16,226
and realize that you're no one?
814
00:47:20,272 --> 00:47:23,442
And you look at me
with those stupid, sexy eyes.
815
00:47:23,609 --> 00:47:26,111
Fuck!
816
00:47:26,278 --> 00:47:28,280
And I just want to know you.
817
00:47:28,447 --> 00:47:30,532
Six, I just want to know you.
818
00:47:30,699 --> 00:47:33,410
That's all I've ever wanted
is to know you.
819
00:47:56,767 --> 00:48:01,188
You could say that
Parker Meehan was typical.
820
00:48:01,355 --> 00:48:03,523
- He played basketball.
821
00:48:03,690 --> 00:48:06,151
He got passing grades.
822
00:48:06,318 --> 00:48:08,987
He hoped one day
to become an architect,
823
00:48:09,154 --> 00:48:11,365
like his father.
824
00:48:11,531 --> 00:48:14,368
But that dream is gone.
825
00:48:15,410 --> 00:48:17,204
Snuffed out
826
00:48:17,371 --> 00:48:20,332
because like so many
typical teenagers,
827
00:48:20,499 --> 00:48:23,085
Parker decided to try
something that he saw
828
00:48:23,251 --> 00:48:24,920
on TV.
829
00:48:25,087 --> 00:48:28,507
- On television, a falling Addy machine
830
00:48:28,674 --> 00:48:33,095
doesn't seem like it would hurt.
In fact, it seems almost funny, but...
831
00:48:33,261 --> 00:48:36,056
Parker tragically discovered
832
00:48:36,223 --> 00:48:39,393
that life is not always like it is
833
00:48:39,559 --> 00:48:41,478
on TV.
834
00:48:42,896 --> 00:48:46,233
Would anyone care
to share a few words?
835
00:48:58,662 --> 00:48:59,788
I would.
836
00:48:59,955 --> 00:49:01,957
Yes, please, come up.
837
00:49:02,124 --> 00:49:04,793
Scat. Scat!
838
00:49:13,343 --> 00:49:15,846
I used to think that it didn't matter.
839
00:49:17,514 --> 00:49:19,683
I was so lost
with what we could do...
840
00:49:22,936 --> 00:49:24,479
that I never considered
whether we should.
841
00:49:25,731 --> 00:49:27,816
It's a great power that we wield.
842
00:49:29,860 --> 00:49:31,903
It's a great and terrible power.
843
00:49:34,948 --> 00:49:37,993
Maybe we've forgotten
that one basic truth:
844
00:49:43,832 --> 00:49:46,334
power requires responsibility.
845
00:49:46,501 --> 00:49:48,378
I don't know.
846
00:49:49,588 --> 00:49:52,424
Maybe us marketers
have lost our way.
847
00:49:52,591 --> 00:49:54,134
- You know...
- Scat, come on.
848
00:49:54,301 --> 00:49:56,344
- Let's go, come on.
- What the hell are you doing?
849
00:49:56,511 --> 00:49:57,888
- What?
- Don't these people
850
00:49:58,054 --> 00:50:00,098
look awfully attractive to you?
851
00:50:00,265 --> 00:50:02,517
I saw the blonde use an eye irritant.
852
00:50:02,684 --> 00:50:05,729
I'm pretty sure that brunette on the end
was in the Addy '07 campaign.
853
00:50:06,730 --> 00:50:08,815
Scat, these people are actors!
854
00:50:10,859 --> 00:50:12,152
Come on.
855
00:50:13,987 --> 00:50:15,614
That prick.
856
00:50:15,781 --> 00:50:18,033
Is everything all right?
857
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:22,704
Parker Meehan is not dead!
858
00:50:22,871 --> 00:50:25,499
- Scat, Scat!
- Son! No no no.
859
00:50:25,665 --> 00:50:27,626
- Stop, no no!
- It's marketing!
860
00:50:27,793 --> 00:50:30,629
- It's fake! It's marketing, it's--
861
00:50:37,636 --> 00:50:39,554
Aha! You see?
862
00:50:39,721 --> 00:50:41,932
Do you see? I told you.
863
00:50:42,098 --> 00:50:43,600
Shit!
864
00:50:46,770 --> 00:50:49,105
Occasionally, just occasionally,
865
00:50:49,272 --> 00:50:51,983
your company will be caught in a lie.
866
00:50:52,150 --> 00:50:54,277
It's not good.
867
00:50:55,946 --> 00:50:58,490
If possible,
immediately fire somebody expendable
868
00:50:58,657 --> 00:51:00,534
and publicly apologize.
869
00:51:01,785 --> 00:51:04,996
If not, you gotta stick to the lie.
870
00:51:05,163 --> 00:51:08,333
Remember, perception is reality.
871
00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:10,919
Yes, that-- that looked bad.
872
00:51:12,796 --> 00:51:15,006
Looked bad?
873
00:51:15,173 --> 00:51:19,344
We've spent $400 million
on our image this year.
874
00:51:19,511 --> 00:51:21,638
And your boy goes on television,
875
00:51:21,805 --> 00:51:24,015
tips over a coffin,
pulls out a mannequin,
876
00:51:24,182 --> 00:51:26,184
- and shakes it!
- Yes, I-I--
877
00:51:26,351 --> 00:51:28,436
- we know that this is a PR disaster.
878
00:51:28,603 --> 00:51:29,938
And we know we need a scapegoat,
879
00:51:30,105 --> 00:51:33,108
but let's be very clear as to who
that scapegoat should be.
880
00:51:33,275 --> 00:51:36,653
This whole debacle was deliberately
arranged by Sneaky Pete.
881
00:51:36,820 --> 00:51:40,031
Let's not go accusing people
without evidence.
882
00:51:40,198 --> 00:51:42,075
We have absolutely no proof...
883
00:51:46,913 --> 00:51:49,124
Gentlemen, I am confident that
an event this expensive
884
00:51:49,291 --> 00:51:50,625
can be traced to his expense account.
885
00:51:50,792 --> 00:51:54,421
I don't know enough about marketing
to speculate on Mr. Pete's motives,
886
00:51:54,588 --> 00:51:57,674
but if it's true, then I would feel
fairly confident that it was part--
887
00:51:57,841 --> 00:51:59,384
- No. The situation here is very clear.
- No what?
888
00:51:59,551 --> 00:52:01,720
- The situation here is very clear...
- Excuse me!
889
00:52:01,887 --> 00:52:04,180
- We need to call a press conference...
- Part of a strategic plan.
890
00:52:04,347 --> 00:52:06,057
- Done!
- And announce that this episode was
891
00:52:06,224 --> 00:52:08,852
an underhanded attempt by Sneaky Pete
to discredit a colleague,
892
00:52:09,019 --> 00:52:10,979
and that Addison will not
tolerate such behavior.
893
00:52:11,146 --> 00:52:12,772
And that he has been fired.
894
00:52:14,149 --> 00:52:16,151
I mean, how else
would we explain it?
895
00:52:16,318 --> 00:52:18,820
Say that Scat went temporarily insane?
896
00:52:18,987 --> 00:52:21,072
- Well...
- Okay, the real question here
897
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:24,117
is who would you rather have
running your marketing department?
898
00:52:24,284 --> 00:52:27,495
Someone with integrity, or someone
who will do anything to get to the top,
899
00:52:27,662 --> 00:52:30,165
- no matter what the cost.
- Hmmm.
900
00:52:30,332 --> 00:52:32,208
Which Scat will also do,
901
00:52:32,375 --> 00:52:34,586
but with integrity.
- Scat is very new here.
902
00:52:34,753 --> 00:52:36,880
I am not.
903
00:52:54,022 --> 00:52:56,274
- You had to open the coffin.
- I hope you and Pete
904
00:52:56,441 --> 00:52:58,109
live happily ever after.
905
00:52:58,276 --> 00:53:01,112
You have no idea
what you're talking about.
906
00:53:04,366 --> 00:53:06,952
I guess I am
that naive moron, huh?
907
00:53:10,538 --> 00:53:13,500
Thanks for your loyalty, Six.
I appreciate it.
908
00:53:16,252 --> 00:53:18,296
You have no idea
what you're talking about.
909
00:53:25,303 --> 00:53:27,764
To listen to your messages, press one.
910
00:53:27,931 --> 00:53:30,183
- First new message.
911
00:53:30,350 --> 00:53:34,312
Received today at 2:52 AM.
912
00:53:35,355 --> 00:53:38,775
Six, it really is so clever!
913
00:53:38,942 --> 00:53:40,485
Sexy Six.
914
00:53:40,652 --> 00:53:42,988
Look, I just have
one question for you.
915
00:53:43,154 --> 00:53:45,281
Did you make him breakfast, huh?
916
00:53:45,448 --> 00:53:48,410
Are you guys a team now?
You and Pete? Screw you.
917
00:53:48,576 --> 00:53:50,328
- I miss you.
918
00:53:54,082 --> 00:53:55,875
Come on, break's over.
919
00:53:56,042 --> 00:53:57,961
Shoe department needs your help.
920
00:53:58,128 --> 00:54:00,714
They can only find a seven,
the customer needs a six.
921
00:54:02,716 --> 00:54:04,467
On your right,
922
00:54:04,634 --> 00:54:07,303
we've got the weeping clown
of the meatpacking district.
923
00:54:07,470 --> 00:54:10,557
The old butchers
used to come out here and weep
924
00:54:10,724 --> 00:54:13,810
for the slaughter of their kill and...
925
00:54:16,354 --> 00:54:17,981
Come on!
926
00:54:18,148 --> 00:54:20,066
Two hours before we...
- Heads up.
927
00:54:20,233 --> 00:54:22,027
...get to our destination.
928
00:54:22,193 --> 00:54:23,862
I don't know why, but I'm--
- There's goes our man.
929
00:54:24,029 --> 00:54:27,240
I'm just a magnet
for young, young women.
930
00:54:27,407 --> 00:54:28,825
- Exactly how young?
931
00:54:30,869 --> 00:54:33,329
- Thanks.
932
00:54:36,666 --> 00:54:38,835
- Go!
933
00:54:43,256 --> 00:54:45,467
I will not get drawn
into this with you again.
934
00:54:45,633 --> 00:54:48,511
It is Fukk. It's pronounced "fuck."
It's pronoun--
935
00:54:48,678 --> 00:54:50,430
That's what everybody's calling it.
936
00:54:50,597 --> 00:54:52,766
It has nothing to do with "fook."
It's not Swedish.
937
00:54:52,932 --> 00:54:55,435
It's not "fook," it's "fuk." "Fuk."
938
00:54:55,602 --> 00:54:58,563
- He looked taller on TV.
- They always do.
939
00:54:58,730 --> 00:55:00,315
What's with the rickshaw?
- What?
940
00:55:03,026 --> 00:55:06,529
Taiwanese cross-promotion?
Rickshaw?
941
00:55:06,696 --> 00:55:10,116
- The pedicab?
- Yeah. Rickshaw.
942
00:55:10,283 --> 00:55:11,993
Research, right?
943
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:14,454
- For a new campaign?
- Hmm?
944
00:55:14,621 --> 00:55:16,206
Who are you?
- We are not at liberty
945
00:55:16,372 --> 00:55:18,166
to reveal our employer, Mr. Scat,
946
00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:22,587
but we can say they turned over
$18.4 billion last year.
947
00:55:22,754 --> 00:55:24,130
ZephCo?
948
00:55:26,424 --> 00:55:28,051
That's too specific.
949
00:55:42,774 --> 00:55:44,109
Guys...
950
00:55:44,275 --> 00:55:46,736
Mr. Scat, we just want to talk,
just talk.
951
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:56,746
Yes, I did.
952
00:55:56,913 --> 00:55:58,706
Yes, I did.
953
00:55:59,707 --> 00:56:01,626
I can't say no.
I can't say no.
954
00:56:26,818 --> 00:56:27,861
No.
955
00:57:02,270 --> 00:57:03,730
Research.
956
00:57:05,190 --> 00:57:07,150
Let's talk straight.
957
00:57:09,027 --> 00:57:12,071
ZephCo doesn't know what you were
doing with that funeral stunt,
958
00:57:12,238 --> 00:57:15,825
but whatever it was, it was brilliant
because everyone's talking about it.
959
00:57:15,992 --> 00:57:18,494
Here's the thing, we have
great marketing already,
960
00:57:18,661 --> 00:57:21,080
all these competitions
and giveaways.
961
00:57:21,247 --> 00:57:23,666
- We have excellent execution.
- No, you don't.
962
00:57:23,833 --> 00:57:25,710
Yes...?
963
00:57:25,877 --> 00:57:27,295
Look, we need to beat Addy.
964
00:57:27,462 --> 00:57:30,924
And we were doing just fine
until guess who comes along.
965
00:57:32,133 --> 00:57:34,552
- Sneaky Pete!
- The inventor of Fukk!
966
00:57:34,719 --> 00:57:36,346
- Fuk. Fuk.
- It's "fuck."
967
00:57:36,512 --> 00:57:39,057
- You know about Fukk?
- Yeah, I know about Fukk.
968
00:57:39,224 --> 00:57:43,561
The drink is genius. Naturally
we immediately tried to poach Mr. Pete,
969
00:57:43,728 --> 00:57:46,272
but since he turned us down,
here we are.
970
00:57:46,439 --> 00:57:48,942
We feel you have the potential
971
00:57:49,108 --> 00:57:50,777
to be the next Sneaky Pete.
972
00:57:50,944 --> 00:57:52,904
Now we know you worked with him
973
00:57:53,071 --> 00:57:56,241
on the "Die for a Fuk"
campaign, right?
974
00:57:56,407 --> 00:57:57,659
You were-- fuck. You--
975
00:57:57,825 --> 00:57:59,244
You were clearly-- "fuk."
976
00:57:59,410 --> 00:58:02,413
You were clearly
a team at the funeral.
977
00:58:02,580 --> 00:58:06,584
Right? And now this whole
guerilla marketing,
978
00:58:06,751 --> 00:58:09,671
you know, with the rickshaws--
genius, genius!
979
00:58:09,837 --> 00:58:12,757
Genius.
It speaks volumes to us
980
00:58:12,924 --> 00:58:15,593
that Mr. Pete trusts you
as much as he does.
981
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:17,345
Volumes.
982
00:58:17,512 --> 00:58:21,266
And we have been
empowered by the CEO
983
00:58:22,475 --> 00:58:24,894
to hire you right now.
984
00:58:26,271 --> 00:58:28,273
- Okay, look...
- We get it.
985
00:58:28,439 --> 00:58:30,942
- You're happy at Addison.
- I'm not happy at Addison.
986
00:58:31,109 --> 00:58:33,194
- I'm not even at Addison.
- Shut up, Scat!
987
00:58:34,612 --> 00:58:36,781
We're hoping that our
ridiculous salary package
988
00:58:36,948 --> 00:58:38,825
- might change your mind.
989
00:58:38,992 --> 00:58:41,786
- Exactly how ridiculous?
990
00:58:44,330 --> 00:58:46,332
I think it's safe to say
991
00:58:46,499 --> 00:58:48,668
very ridiculous.
992
00:58:48,835 --> 00:58:50,586
Preposterous, even.
993
00:59:01,306 --> 00:59:03,391
- It's a great opportunity.
- Yep.
994
00:59:06,894 --> 00:59:08,604
- It's a lot of money.
- Yep.
995
00:59:13,234 --> 00:59:15,737
- What was your real name?
- Six.
996
00:59:21,743 --> 00:59:24,579
You have 62 direct-line employees--
997
00:59:24,746 --> 00:59:26,331
water, sparkling--
998
00:59:26,497 --> 00:59:28,791
not including the call center.
999
00:59:28,958 --> 00:59:32,086
Scat, Six-- Charles, Buckey.
1000
00:59:32,253 --> 00:59:35,590
Your personal bathroom
is right through there.
1001
00:59:35,757 --> 00:59:37,842
What is this?
We need to get this...
1002
00:59:38,009 --> 00:59:39,761
- No no no.
1003
00:59:39,927 --> 00:59:42,680
This is not for me.
I thought we covered that.
1004
00:59:42,847 --> 00:59:46,601
Excuse me.
Your remaining budget is $200 million.
1005
00:59:51,773 --> 00:59:53,232
Your office.
1006
01:00:05,578 --> 01:00:06,746
What do you think?
1007
01:00:07,830 --> 01:00:09,123
It'll do.
1008
01:00:09,290 --> 01:00:11,626
I appreciate your
coming on so quickly.
1009
01:00:11,793 --> 01:00:14,003
- We need you.
- Of course. We're happy to be here.
1010
01:00:14,170 --> 01:00:17,090
You don't understand.
You've got to help me.
1011
01:00:17,256 --> 01:00:18,758
I have stock options.
1012
01:00:18,925 --> 01:00:20,760
We are very committed
to making this work.
1013
01:00:20,927 --> 01:00:22,595
In fact, let me ask you something.
How do you feel
1014
01:00:22,762 --> 01:00:25,056
about attack marketing? I know
there's some potential for backlash,
1015
01:00:25,223 --> 01:00:26,682
but in a basic duopoly like this
1016
01:00:26,849 --> 01:00:29,852
diluting their USP could be
nothing but beneficial for us.
1017
01:00:30,019 --> 01:00:31,604
I don't know what
the hell you just said.
1018
01:00:31,771 --> 01:00:33,731
- Just sell product.
- Absolutely.
1019
01:00:33,898 --> 01:00:34,899
Can do, sir.
1020
01:00:35,066 --> 01:00:36,526
Good.
1021
01:00:44,742 --> 01:00:46,202
You're exactly the same.
1022
01:00:47,453 --> 01:00:49,914
I'm sorry, did I allude
to being someone I'm not?
1023
01:00:50,081 --> 01:00:51,958
- Are you trying to be ironic?
- No.
1024
01:00:52,125 --> 01:00:53,709
Anyone who works with you
loses their soul.
1025
01:00:53,876 --> 01:00:55,461
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- That I lost my soul? You should be.
1026
01:00:55,628 --> 01:00:57,505
No, that you don't want to work, Scat.
1027
01:00:57,672 --> 01:01:00,883
- Stop being so dramatic.
- Oh God!
1028
01:01:03,469 --> 01:01:05,179
You couldn't figure out
how to fuck me.
1029
01:01:05,346 --> 01:01:07,306
So get over it.
1030
01:01:07,473 --> 01:01:09,892
- We have work to do.
- I neverjust wanted to fuck you.
1031
01:01:10,059 --> 01:01:11,811
Everyone wants to just fuck me.
1032
01:01:11,978 --> 01:01:13,521
I'm different!
1033
01:01:15,773 --> 01:01:17,859
You're still a guy, right?
1034
01:01:19,318 --> 01:01:21,654
Thinks with his dick.
1035
01:01:21,821 --> 01:01:24,824
If that were the case, I could have
settled for a whole lot less.
1036
01:01:24,991 --> 01:01:27,368
And don't tell me that I just want you
because I can't have you,
1037
01:01:27,535 --> 01:01:28,995
because that's...
1038
01:01:29,162 --> 01:01:31,038
that's...
1039
01:01:34,208 --> 01:01:35,751
Call the SMT.
1040
01:01:35,918 --> 01:01:37,420
Now.
1041
01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:43,634
The SMT stands for
Senior Management Team,
1042
01:01:43,801 --> 01:01:47,263
an acronym that Scat picked up
in "Business 185:
1043
01:01:47,430 --> 01:01:49,765
Understanding
the Corporate Structure."
1044
01:01:52,894 --> 01:01:54,645
"Average Kok."
1045
01:02:01,068 --> 01:02:03,362
Just have to take a look at it.
1046
01:02:03,529 --> 01:02:06,741
Yeah, now isn't that
basically Fukk?
1047
01:02:06,908 --> 01:02:09,785
Who wants to drink a Fukk
when you can down a Kok?
1048
01:02:12,205 --> 01:02:15,374
Kok is like Fukk for sissies.
1049
01:02:15,541 --> 01:02:17,335
It's "fuk." "Fuk."
1050
01:02:17,502 --> 01:02:20,046
The important word
here isn't "Kok."
1051
01:02:22,381 --> 01:02:23,633
"Average"?
1052
01:02:23,799 --> 01:02:25,301
Here's how it works.
1053
01:02:27,011 --> 01:02:28,888
The less religious you are,
the more likely it is
1054
01:02:29,055 --> 01:02:30,681
you're interested in celebrities.
1055
01:02:30,848 --> 01:02:33,142
Know that old question, "If you could
have dinner with any five people,
1056
01:02:33,309 --> 01:02:35,353
living or dead, who would you choose?"
1057
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:37,438
Nobody ever picks their friends.
1058
01:02:38,731 --> 01:02:41,275
We're not going to sell
this product to your friends.
1059
01:02:41,442 --> 01:02:44,237
Not yet, anyway.
Now Zeph is way too mainstream for this,
1060
01:02:44,403 --> 01:02:46,405
- so we set up a subsidiary that...
1061
01:02:46,572 --> 01:02:48,950
- What the--
- ...looks independent. We call it Z2.
1062
01:02:49,116 --> 01:02:52,119
Z2 releases Average Kok
with absolutely no above-the-line,
1063
01:02:52,286 --> 01:02:54,747
but a ton of astroturfing,
word-of-mouth,
1064
01:02:54,914 --> 01:02:57,416
seeding, black lemmings,
the works.
1065
01:02:58,626 --> 01:03:01,796
Once sales are solid,
we send a crate of product
1066
01:03:01,963 --> 01:03:03,923
to the 100 hottest
people in the country.
1067
01:03:04,090 --> 01:03:06,551
But not Average Kok. We tell them,
1068
01:03:06,717 --> 01:03:10,221
"For you, we've got the real thing."
A personalized can
1069
01:03:10,388 --> 01:03:13,140
with their name
and their number on the back.
1070
01:03:13,307 --> 01:03:15,601
Now they're intrigued.
They see our invitation
1071
01:03:15,768 --> 01:03:19,105
to send one of their people to
a closed meeting at the Z2 warehouse.
1072
01:03:19,272 --> 01:03:21,190
And there, we explain how it works.
1073
01:03:26,487 --> 01:03:27,989
Ladies and gentlemen,
1074
01:03:29,907 --> 01:03:32,577
there are 100 numbered cans...
1075
01:03:32,743 --> 01:03:35,788
each linked to a specific celebrity.
1076
01:03:35,955 --> 01:03:38,165
For example, the Hilton 88s.
1077
01:03:38,332 --> 01:03:42,545
Ms. Hilton is currently
in possession of the only 88s
1078
01:03:42,712 --> 01:03:44,130
in the world, outside of this company.
1079
01:03:44,297 --> 01:03:47,758
And we will not sell any 88s to anyone
1080
01:03:47,925 --> 01:03:50,219
unless they bring in an unopened 88.
1081
01:03:50,386 --> 01:03:53,055
That's a sign that Ms. Hilton
considers them worthy enough
1082
01:03:53,222 --> 01:03:54,807
to be seen with her product.
1083
01:03:54,974 --> 01:03:57,810
That person may then purchase
as many 88s as they'd like,
1084
01:03:57,977 --> 01:04:00,146
but no other number.
1085
01:04:00,313 --> 01:04:02,273
Here's the catch.
1086
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:03,858
If someone brings us an 88
1087
01:04:04,025 --> 01:04:06,944
and we don't feel
they're Kok material,
1088
01:04:07,111 --> 01:04:09,488
or if our people see
someone in public
1089
01:04:09,655 --> 01:04:12,742
with an 88 we don't
feel is worthy of Kok,
1090
01:04:12,908 --> 01:04:15,536
we will terminate the 88s.
1091
01:04:15,703 --> 01:04:18,122
No exceptions. No appeals.
1092
01:04:18,289 --> 01:04:20,958
This product is image in a can.
1093
01:04:21,125 --> 01:04:23,377
We take image very seriously.
1094
01:04:23,544 --> 01:04:27,256
We take it as seriously as you take
the clients that you represent.
1095
01:04:29,342 --> 01:04:30,926
That's it, people.
1096
01:04:31,093 --> 01:04:33,137
Those of you who
brought cans can begin.
1097
01:04:39,810 --> 01:04:42,229
As soon as word gets out
about this, sales of Average Kok
1098
01:04:42,396 --> 01:04:45,983
will free-fall, sure, but demand
for Celebrity Kok will soar,
1099
01:04:46,150 --> 01:04:49,695
driven by the implicit endorsement
of the world's top celebrities.
1100
01:04:49,862 --> 01:04:52,740
Now they won't be able to buy it,
but they'll be desperate for it.
1101
01:04:52,907 --> 01:04:54,492
And the real beauty of all of this
1102
01:04:54,659 --> 01:04:56,827
is what they want to buy--
it isn't the drink.
1103
01:04:56,994 --> 01:04:58,871
It's the marketing,
I mean, the image,
1104
01:04:59,038 --> 01:05:01,666
- something that didn't exist--
- Let me hold you up there a minute.
1105
01:05:01,832 --> 01:05:03,459
What does this product taste like?
1106
01:05:03,626 --> 01:05:05,795
I'm sorry, what did you say?
- Taste?
1107
01:05:05,961 --> 01:05:07,963
- Don't you think that's important?
- No no, I don't. Look,
1108
01:05:08,130 --> 01:05:10,841
this product could be sneakers or
t-shirts or glow-in-the-dark headbands.
1109
01:05:11,008 --> 01:05:12,718
It's not about the fluid, man.
It's about the image!
1110
01:05:12,885 --> 01:05:15,012
70% of what we perceive
as taste is psychological.
1111
01:05:15,179 --> 01:05:16,555
As long as this thing
tastes better than urine,
1112
01:05:16,722 --> 01:05:18,391
people are literally going
to convince themselves
1113
01:05:18,557 --> 01:05:20,059
- that they like it.
- Actually, people can believe
1114
01:05:20,226 --> 01:05:21,602
- they like the taste of urine.
- Really?
1115
01:05:21,769 --> 01:05:23,604
We tested it once.
- Sports drink?
1116
01:05:23,771 --> 01:05:25,398
We tested it once.
We didn't sell it.
1117
01:05:25,564 --> 01:05:27,525
Look, I can't explain it
any clearer than this,
1118
01:05:27,692 --> 01:05:30,069
the success of this product--
stop it!
1119
01:05:30,236 --> 01:05:32,863
The success of this product
depends on people being shallow,
1120
01:05:33,030 --> 01:05:37,201
superficial, self-obsessed,
greedy and desperate for attention.
1121
01:05:37,368 --> 01:05:39,912
This is the American dream
in a fucking can.
1122
01:06:08,107 --> 01:06:10,192
- A 34 just showed up on eBay.
1123
01:06:10,359 --> 01:06:13,320
Find Roberts for me and tell him I need
a mark-up on Red Bull in Vancouver.
1124
01:06:13,487 --> 01:06:15,656
- Are you going to answer that?
- What's the 34, the Cruise?
1125
01:06:15,823 --> 01:06:19,201
The Jolie. Current bid's at $3,000.
Do not answer the phone like that again.
1126
01:06:19,368 --> 01:06:21,287
I saw you.
Don't look at me like that.
1127
01:06:21,454 --> 01:06:23,289
I have Ms. Barrymore's
people on the line.
1128
01:06:23,456 --> 01:06:25,916
- They're threatening to sue.
- She should have thought of that before
1129
01:06:26,083 --> 01:06:27,460
she started handing
them out at concerts.
1130
01:06:27,626 --> 01:06:29,253
- I saw a fat guy drinking one.
- We had no choice.
1131
01:06:29,420 --> 01:06:31,797
- Mr. Scat. Busy, very busy.
- Yes sir.
1132
01:06:31,964 --> 01:06:34,550
- I like that, there's just one thing.
- What's that, sir?
1133
01:06:34,717 --> 01:06:37,595
You're not selling very much product.
In fact, you're refusing to sell it.
1134
01:06:37,762 --> 01:06:39,680
Correct, sir.
That's why people want to buy it.
1135
01:06:39,847 --> 01:06:42,266
- But my stock options.
- Sir, do you realize
1136
01:06:42,433 --> 01:06:45,519
what would happen if we released Kok
to the general public now?
1137
01:06:45,686 --> 01:06:48,314
Sure, sales would be massive,
but all those celebrities
1138
01:06:48,481 --> 01:06:51,442
who basically built our brand,
they'd be humiliated.
1139
01:06:51,609 --> 01:06:53,486
It'd be like us saying
to the world, "Hey!
1140
01:06:53,652 --> 01:06:56,071
We just fucked over
the world's top celebrities!"
1141
01:06:58,115 --> 01:07:00,576
You're a genius.
- Thank you, sir!
1142
01:07:02,703 --> 01:07:05,581
Rumor has it they're grooming him
to be the next VP.
1143
01:07:05,748 --> 01:07:07,750
Don't you have somewhere to be?
1144
01:07:16,759 --> 01:07:18,719
What?
1145
01:07:20,429 --> 01:07:21,430
Do you, um...
1146
01:07:23,599 --> 01:07:25,434
do you love all of this?
1147
01:07:26,685 --> 01:07:29,271
What sort of stupid question is that?
1148
01:07:31,482 --> 01:07:33,275
Do you?
1149
01:07:35,444 --> 01:07:37,905
I think I'm like that...
1150
01:07:38,072 --> 01:07:40,199
that kid who still
believed in Santa Claus
1151
01:07:40,366 --> 01:07:42,535
until some asshole kid
told him that it didn't exist.
1152
01:07:42,701 --> 01:07:44,245
I am that asshole kid, huh?
1153
01:07:44,411 --> 01:07:46,455
The verdict's still out.
1154
01:07:46,622 --> 01:07:50,376
What sort of profound nonsense is that?
1155
01:07:50,543 --> 01:07:52,127
We're about to go public.
1156
01:07:52,294 --> 01:07:53,629
Oh-- we're live.
1157
01:08:14,650 --> 01:08:17,862
Mr. Scat? Mr. Scat? My name is Kit.
1158
01:08:18,028 --> 01:08:22,324
I don't know if you've ever considered
taking on a protégé, but I would be...
1159
01:08:22,491 --> 01:08:24,243
- Great stuff.
- ...honored to follow you around
1160
01:08:24,410 --> 01:08:25,703
and watch everything you do.
1161
01:08:25,870 --> 01:08:28,747
I have requests for interviews
from print and TV and radio.
1162
01:08:28,914 --> 01:08:31,083
Also, I know you're
really busy right now,
1163
01:08:31,250 --> 01:08:34,044
but if you ever get lonely
or you just want to talk...
1164
01:08:34,211 --> 01:08:35,671
Okay okay okay.
1165
01:08:35,838 --> 01:08:38,215
You'll love this, okay?
- In "Business 763:
1166
01:08:38,382 --> 01:08:40,885
Entrepreneurial Solutions
for Market Failure,"
1167
01:08:41,051 --> 01:08:44,555
you learn that once you make it
to the top, in any crisis that may arise
1168
01:08:44,722 --> 01:08:47,349
it then becomes yourjob
to reset perception
1169
01:08:47,516 --> 01:08:49,852
through corporate restructuring.
1170
01:08:52,521 --> 01:08:56,609
A young kid committed suicide
today in St. Louis.
1171
01:08:58,235 --> 01:09:00,696
Left a suicide note on the back
1172
01:09:00,863 --> 01:09:03,616
of a hand-drawn picture of a Kok can,
1173
01:09:03,782 --> 01:09:05,951
with the number 17 and his name.
1174
01:09:08,621 --> 01:09:10,497
CNN is going live
1175
01:09:10,664 --> 01:09:12,875
at 8:00 PM with the number 17
1176
01:09:13,042 --> 01:09:16,211
being "Damien White's lucky number."
1177
01:09:17,963 --> 01:09:20,549
It's obviously uncorroborated.
1178
01:09:20,716 --> 01:09:22,760
Okay yeah, the note says...
1179
01:09:22,927 --> 01:09:24,678
I don't want to know
what the note says.
1180
01:09:24,845 --> 01:09:26,096
No, I got it. It's right here.
It's right here.
1181
01:09:26,263 --> 01:09:29,934
"I love everybody.
I just wish I could have been cooler."
1182
01:09:30,100 --> 01:09:31,644
It's Pete.
1183
01:09:31,810 --> 01:09:34,688
The "I"s are all lower-cased.
1184
01:09:34,855 --> 01:09:36,357
Now that--
1185
01:09:36,523 --> 01:09:38,525
see, that's the sign of a depressive...
1186
01:09:38,692 --> 01:09:41,570
- I gotta call Six.
- Somebody that has a low opinion...
1187
01:09:41,737 --> 01:09:44,698
Don't call Six. Don't call Six.
The kid's dead, Scat.
1188
01:09:44,865 --> 01:09:47,743
We had our research department
fact check.
1189
01:09:47,910 --> 01:09:51,163
Okay? The mother's
already hired a lawyer.
1190
01:10:01,924 --> 01:10:03,759
We need you to go live with this
1191
01:10:03,926 --> 01:10:05,761
before the 8:00 news. Okay?
1192
01:10:05,928 --> 01:10:09,932
We've arranged a pre-taped
CNBC interview.
1193
01:10:11,100 --> 01:10:13,435
You'll need to...
1194
01:10:13,602 --> 01:10:15,479
spin this.
1195
01:10:19,316 --> 01:10:21,318
You want me to spin the suicide?
1196
01:10:21,485 --> 01:10:23,153
That's what we pay you for.
1197
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:24,697
We just want to come up
1198
01:10:24,863 --> 01:10:27,157
with an angle on this together.
1199
01:10:27,324 --> 01:10:29,535
We couldn't... bup bup bup.
1200
01:10:29,702 --> 01:10:31,203
You want me to fire someone?
1201
01:10:33,580 --> 01:10:35,541
Yeah.
1202
01:10:35,708 --> 01:10:38,210
Who am I going to fire, Davidson?
1203
01:10:38,377 --> 01:10:40,337
It was my idea, it was my concept.
1204
01:10:40,504 --> 01:10:43,465
Yeah, it was a great concept.
That's not the issue.
1205
01:10:50,180 --> 01:10:51,432
Where's Six?
1206
01:10:57,271 --> 01:11:00,399
Personally,
I never had a connection.
1207
01:11:00,566 --> 01:11:03,318
There was no synergy, but I tried.
1208
01:11:04,695 --> 01:11:06,196
I think that'll be enough.
1209
01:11:09,324 --> 01:11:11,493
Six, look, call me back, okay?
1210
01:11:11,660 --> 01:11:13,328
Um, don't go back to the office.
1211
01:11:13,495 --> 01:11:15,914
Just call me back and I'll come
meet you wherever.
1212
01:11:19,626 --> 01:11:21,545
Yes, you'd be working
directly under me.
1213
01:11:21,712 --> 01:11:24,006
And you would have quite
a bit of creative freedom.
1214
01:11:24,173 --> 01:11:27,092
Um, it's just I'm very excited
about this opportunity.
1215
01:11:27,259 --> 01:11:30,304
What do you think that you can
bring to the next campaign?
1216
01:11:30,471 --> 01:11:31,889
Hey, Jen, hey, it's Scat.
1217
01:11:32,056 --> 01:11:33,766
Where are you?
Jameson's looking for you.
1218
01:11:33,932 --> 01:11:35,893
Look, where's Six, Jen?
Where was her 2:00?
1219
01:11:36,060 --> 01:11:38,395
She's interviewing a new creative.
1220
01:11:38,562 --> 01:11:40,272
It's in the Village.
It's a lunch thing, I think.
1221
01:11:44,068 --> 01:11:46,153
Thank you.
1222
01:11:48,739 --> 01:11:50,240
Thank you for lunch.
1223
01:11:52,993 --> 01:11:54,953
Are you fucking kidding me?
1224
01:11:59,291 --> 01:12:02,711
- This is Scat.
- I have heard so much about you.
1225
01:12:02,878 --> 01:12:06,715
- You ignore my calls for this?
- It's not what you think, Scat.
1226
01:12:06,882 --> 01:12:08,884
Of course it's not what I think,
1227
01:12:09,051 --> 01:12:10,761
because it's you.
1228
01:12:10,928 --> 01:12:13,180
- You're never what I think.
- What do you care?
1229
01:12:13,347 --> 01:12:15,849
- What do I care?
- Yeah, what the hell do you care?
1230
01:12:17,559 --> 01:12:19,603
They're grooming you for VP.
1231
01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:28,445
You've got some great ideas,
and I look forward
1232
01:12:28,612 --> 01:12:30,197
to seeing how we can incorporate them
1233
01:12:30,364 --> 01:12:32,950
into ZephCo's current campaigns,
which will probab--
1234
01:12:33,117 --> 01:12:36,120
She always starts
with those fucking ideas.
1235
01:12:48,006 --> 01:12:50,050
- Welcome to ZephCo.
1236
01:12:50,217 --> 01:12:51,677
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
1237
01:13:07,192 --> 01:13:09,278
We're live in 30 seconds.
1238
01:13:09,444 --> 01:13:11,572
Did you make the market?
- Just-- yep.
1239
01:13:11,738 --> 01:13:14,032
- Makeup's clear.
- Want me to roll the tape?
1240
01:13:14,199 --> 01:13:15,450
- Perfect.
- Here you go.
1241
01:13:15,617 --> 01:13:17,786
Some sad breaking news
coming to us tonight.
1242
01:13:17,953 --> 01:13:21,582
Damien White, a young teenager,
age 16, has committed suicide.
1243
01:13:21,748 --> 01:13:25,210
He left behind a suicide note
that reads,
1244
01:13:25,377 --> 01:13:26,879
"I love everybody.
1245
01:13:27,045 --> 01:13:29,339
I just wish
I could have been cooler."
1246
01:13:29,506 --> 01:13:31,216
On the back, a hand-drawn...
1247
01:13:31,383 --> 01:13:33,886
Let me just check your microphone.
1248
01:13:37,014 --> 01:13:38,724
- Allegedly Damien...
- Jen, it's Six.
1249
01:13:38,891 --> 01:13:41,268
...believed himself cool enough
to buy Kok, the ultra-elite
1250
01:13:41,435 --> 01:13:43,770
- celebrity energy drink sold only to...
- Is Jameson there?
1251
01:13:43,937 --> 01:13:46,273
- ...100 celebrities until yesterday...
1252
01:13:46,440 --> 01:13:48,483
...when it was released
to the general public.
1253
01:13:51,445 --> 01:13:53,238
Celebrities have been tweeting...
1254
01:13:53,405 --> 01:13:55,073
Good evening, I'm Lisa Simmons.
1255
01:13:55,240 --> 01:13:57,868
We have some sad breaking news
coming to us tonight.
1256
01:13:58,035 --> 01:13:59,995
We have sad breaking news.
- Quiet please!
1257
01:14:00,162 --> 01:14:04,082
Damien White, a young
teenager, age 16, has committed suicide.
1258
01:14:12,633 --> 01:14:14,426
Hello hello.
1259
01:14:22,100 --> 01:14:23,435
What are you doing here?
1260
01:14:23,602 --> 01:14:25,854
Look, I need a place to stay.
1261
01:14:26,021 --> 01:14:27,981
That Three, man--
1262
01:14:28,148 --> 01:14:29,691
she took my job at Addy.
1263
01:14:29,858 --> 01:14:31,568
You knew that, right?
1264
01:14:34,321 --> 01:14:35,739
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah.
1265
01:14:35,906 --> 01:14:38,909
They had to fire someone
for letting you and Six go.
1266
01:14:42,913 --> 01:14:44,998
Hey, I'm sorry about...
1267
01:14:45,165 --> 01:14:47,626
It's all right.
It's just business.
1268
01:14:47,793 --> 01:14:50,629
- Yeah.
1269
01:14:52,506 --> 01:14:54,716
I'm thinking of changing my image.
1270
01:14:56,468 --> 01:14:58,095
Really?
1271
01:14:58,262 --> 01:15:01,348
I liked the whole silent... thing.
1272
01:15:01,515 --> 01:15:03,642
Yeah, but it's kind of limiting.
1273
01:15:03,809 --> 01:15:06,436
There's only so far
you can go with that.
1274
01:15:07,896 --> 01:15:09,064
You know...
1275
01:15:09,231 --> 01:15:10,983
you were a really good arch-enemy.
1276
01:15:11,149 --> 01:15:12,776
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1277
01:15:12,943 --> 01:15:15,028
Especially after you got me fired.
1278
01:15:15,195 --> 01:15:17,990
- I was fuming.
1279
01:15:18,156 --> 01:15:20,701
- Thanks.
1280
01:15:22,869 --> 01:15:25,539
I'm in love with a girl.
1281
01:15:25,706 --> 01:15:28,208
I don't even know her real name.
1282
01:15:31,670 --> 01:15:34,548
You, my friend,
are in love with an image.
1283
01:15:36,133 --> 01:15:38,176
- Is that bad?
- Eh...
1284
01:15:44,725 --> 01:15:46,685
Six quit.
1285
01:15:46,852 --> 01:15:48,061
She quit...
1286
01:15:49,563 --> 01:15:51,815
because of you.
1287
01:15:56,528 --> 01:15:59,364
Man on TV:...cool enough to buy their
product. How do they recover, John?
1288
01:15:59,531 --> 01:16:03,160
How does ZephCo turn this around
and use it to their advantage?
1289
01:16:03,327 --> 01:16:04,911
Well, they don't.
1290
01:16:05,078 --> 01:16:08,332
Right now ZephCo should be
entirely on the defensive.
1291
01:16:08,498 --> 01:16:11,460
A young child has committed
suicide because this company
1292
01:16:11,626 --> 01:16:14,254
refused to sell them a drink.
This is a prime example
1293
01:16:14,421 --> 01:16:16,798
of corporate bullying
as far as I'm concerned.
1294
01:16:16,965 --> 01:16:19,217
"Corporate bullying"?
Is this real?
1295
01:16:19,384 --> 01:16:21,928
That's because companies
usually don't refuse to sell...
1296
01:16:22,095 --> 01:16:24,139
He actually killed himself?
1297
01:16:25,849 --> 01:16:26,892
Yeah.
1298
01:16:28,101 --> 01:16:29,895
Yeah, the family already lawyered up.
1299
01:16:30,062 --> 01:16:32,314
What usually happens
in circumstances like this
1300
01:16:32,481 --> 01:16:34,608
is that ZephCo would
identify a fall guy,
1301
01:16:34,775 --> 01:16:37,361
someone in the marketing department,
and terminate them publicly...
1302
01:16:37,527 --> 01:16:39,571
He's just an intern, Scat.
1303
01:16:41,490 --> 01:16:43,825
They're grooming you for VP.
1304
01:16:43,992 --> 01:16:46,620
I feel like I'm losing you.
1305
01:16:50,457 --> 01:16:52,959
Jameson won't take any of my calls.
1306
01:17:05,097 --> 01:17:07,557
You're supposed to let me go.
1307
01:17:10,102 --> 01:17:11,978
That's why you came here, right?
1308
01:17:41,550 --> 01:17:43,802
You know, I was a ballerina.
1309
01:17:49,349 --> 01:17:51,726
I had dreams...
1310
01:17:54,146 --> 01:17:56,440
like the kind we sell to people.
1311
01:18:13,623 --> 01:18:16,376
I was going to go
to the Levinheimer Academy...
1312
01:18:18,420 --> 01:18:20,755
travel around Europe.
1313
01:18:26,636 --> 01:18:29,347
It wasn't just a goal, Scat.
1314
01:18:33,226 --> 01:18:35,228
It was an absolute.
1315
01:18:41,109 --> 01:18:43,361
And then I went to Yale...
1316
01:18:45,864 --> 01:18:47,824
and I went to London.
1317
01:18:47,991 --> 01:18:50,160
I did my audition.
1318
01:18:51,786 --> 01:18:55,207
And they told me I was
missing a muscle in my calf.
1319
01:18:59,669 --> 01:19:02,214
I couldn't even do
the battement glisse.
1320
01:19:03,340 --> 01:19:04,758
A simple move.
1321
01:19:06,176 --> 01:19:07,886
I was missing a muscle in my leg
1322
01:19:08,053 --> 01:19:10,263
and there was nothing
I could do about it.
1323
01:19:10,430 --> 01:19:12,182
Ever.
1324
01:19:18,939 --> 01:19:20,732
I decided then...
1325
01:19:22,651 --> 01:19:24,694
that no one was ever going
to be able to tell me
1326
01:19:24,861 --> 01:19:26,947
what I could and couldn't do again.
1327
01:19:28,740 --> 01:19:30,242
Ever.
1328
01:19:39,834 --> 01:19:41,503
And now I'm here,
1329
01:19:43,296 --> 01:19:45,257
sitting in a bar,
1330
01:19:47,259 --> 01:19:49,094
waiting for you to fire me.
1331
01:19:53,557 --> 01:19:55,809
- Ironic.
- Is that real?
1332
01:19:55,976 --> 01:19:57,227
What?
1333
01:20:04,234 --> 01:20:07,279
Do you know how hard it is for me
to tell you the truth?
1334
01:20:13,243 --> 01:20:15,036
So you wanted to be a ballerina?
1335
01:20:20,417 --> 01:20:22,460
I wanted to be...
1336
01:20:30,176 --> 01:20:32,387
Right. Okay.
1337
01:20:34,973 --> 01:20:36,725
Try our new rejuvenating formula.
1338
01:20:36,891 --> 01:20:39,102
You'll look younger, feel younger...
1339
01:20:39,269 --> 01:20:41,771
We're here with the head
1340
01:20:41,938 --> 01:20:43,773
of New Products
and Marketing for ZephCo.
1341
01:20:43,940 --> 01:20:46,151
Mr. Scat, thank you forjoining us.
1342
01:20:46,318 --> 01:20:48,903
I only wish it was
under better circumstances.
1343
01:20:49,070 --> 01:20:51,489
I want to offer
my sincere condolences
1344
01:20:51,656 --> 01:20:53,658
to the White family
on behalf of ZephCo.
1345
01:20:53,825 --> 01:20:55,744
Mr. Scat, it doesn't
seem like the death
1346
01:20:55,910 --> 01:20:57,787
of an innocent teenager
has affected you.
1347
01:20:57,954 --> 01:21:00,540
If you're asking me
to acknowledge the fact that
1348
01:21:00,707 --> 01:21:03,251
through this ad campaign
people will literally
1349
01:21:03,418 --> 01:21:06,254
kill themselves to get their
hands on what I'm selling...
1350
01:21:07,422 --> 01:21:09,299
then yes.
1351
01:21:11,718 --> 01:21:13,678
Look, as far as I'm concerned,
1352
01:21:13,845 --> 01:21:16,556
this is one of the most successful
ad campaigns of all time.
1353
01:21:16,723 --> 01:21:19,517
It will certainly go down in history
as one of the most daring.
1354
01:21:19,684 --> 01:21:23,897
I know who Damien White is--
or who he was.
1355
01:21:24,064 --> 01:21:26,232
Because I fell in love
with the dream too.
1356
01:21:29,110 --> 01:21:31,404
But I don't want to spend
the rest of my life
1357
01:21:31,571 --> 01:21:32,947
chasing after an enigma.
1358
01:21:38,370 --> 01:21:39,913
And neither did Damien.
1359
01:21:42,832 --> 01:21:44,876
Scat on TV broadcast:
Look, I don't think that anybody
1360
01:21:45,043 --> 01:21:47,337
is taking the death of this
teenager very seriously
1361
01:21:47,504 --> 01:21:49,339
because they're still
buying my product.
1362
01:21:49,506 --> 01:21:52,217
This means that you've made
a conscious decision
1363
01:21:52,384 --> 01:21:55,387
to buy this drink
after Damien White's death--
1364
01:21:55,553 --> 01:21:58,056
after his suicide--
because it's even cooler.
1365
01:22:02,811 --> 01:22:06,272
In fact ZephCo's stock
has tripled since the suicide.
1366
01:22:06,439 --> 01:22:10,110
So if Damien White's death means
anything to you, then don't buy Kok.
1367
01:22:10,276 --> 01:22:12,237
But that'll never happen
1368
01:22:12,404 --> 01:22:15,740
because you believe
in the dream, the fantasy.
1369
01:22:18,159 --> 01:22:20,704
Buy Kok. Become perfect.
1370
01:22:25,417 --> 01:22:27,085
Scat!
1371
01:22:34,718 --> 01:22:36,511
What are you doing?
1372
01:22:36,678 --> 01:22:38,930
Just going for a walk.
1373
01:22:44,519 --> 01:22:46,187
Grand exit?
1374
01:22:46,354 --> 01:22:49,649
When will you realize,
when will people understand...
1375
01:22:49,816 --> 01:22:50,817
Yeah.
1376
01:22:50,984 --> 01:22:53,611
...that it's all fake?
Don't youget it?
1377
01:22:53,778 --> 01:22:55,321
None of this is real, it's all fake.
1378
01:22:55,488 --> 01:22:57,699
The entire thing is fake.
1379
01:22:58,867 --> 01:23:00,702
Let me-- let me explain
something to you.
1380
01:23:00,869 --> 01:23:03,121
If you live in a medium-sized city,
you see 800 ads...
1381
01:23:03,288 --> 01:23:05,498
You ruined all this for me.
1382
01:23:22,223 --> 01:23:23,683
Michael.
1383
01:23:24,768 --> 01:23:26,186
That's my name.
1384
01:23:34,027 --> 01:23:35,361
What's your real name?
1385
01:23:42,452 --> 01:23:44,954
And you're so used to this,
you don't even unders-- you don't--
1386
01:23:45,121 --> 01:23:46,915
you don't realize it, okay,
1387
01:23:47,081 --> 01:23:49,125
but your body does.
1388
01:23:49,292 --> 01:23:51,711
Your heart rate increases,
your pupils dilate.
1389
01:23:51,878 --> 01:23:54,422
Your breathing becomes faster
and you become alert.
1390
01:23:55,840 --> 01:23:57,258
Because you've been tapped.
1391
01:23:57,425 --> 01:23:59,135
My name is Six.
1392
01:24:00,178 --> 01:24:01,721
Looking at a billboard
1393
01:24:01,888 --> 01:24:04,641
is supposed to feel
like love at first sight.
1394
01:24:04,808 --> 01:24:07,227
But it's not. It's not real.
1395
01:24:07,393 --> 01:24:08,603
None of it's real.
1396
01:24:08,770 --> 01:24:10,355
It's marketing.
1397
01:24:10,522 --> 01:24:13,107
It's been a pleasure
doing business with you, Six.
1398
01:24:14,984 --> 01:24:17,237
Without marketing,
you wouldn't know who you are.
1399
01:24:17,403 --> 01:24:19,447
Maybe...
1400
01:24:20,907 --> 01:24:23,409
sometimes you need
to walk away from that.
1401
01:24:25,161 --> 01:24:26,871
Because you haven't
been changed
1402
01:24:27,038 --> 01:24:28,748
and you haven't been perfected.
1403
01:24:31,835 --> 01:24:34,379
You're just drinking
the same old stuff.
1404
01:24:36,589 --> 01:24:38,424
Just...
1405
01:24:38,591 --> 01:24:41,052
a lost soul who's still drinking...
1406
01:24:42,595 --> 01:24:44,055
syrup.
1407
01:24:54,524 --> 01:24:57,193
♪ I'm taking back
the control you had over me ♪
1408
01:24:57,360 --> 01:25:00,029
♪ I need to find some closure
so I can breathe ♪
1409
01:25:00,196 --> 01:25:03,199
♪ Just tie me down
with every fiber of your shame ♪
1410
01:25:03,366 --> 01:25:06,369
♪ You make me doubt,
but I was never the one to blame ♪
1411
01:25:06,536 --> 01:25:09,205
♪ I'm taking back the control
you had over me ♪
1412
01:25:09,372 --> 01:25:12,292
♪ I need to find some closure
so I can breathe ♪
1413
01:25:12,458 --> 01:25:15,211
♪ Just tie me down with
every fiber of your shame ♪
1414
01:25:15,378 --> 01:25:18,631
♪ You make me doubt,
but I was never the one to blame ♪
1415
01:25:18,798 --> 01:25:21,426
♪ Stupid girl, silly plaything ♪
1416
01:25:21,593 --> 01:25:24,804
♪ I was yours for the taking ♪
1417
01:25:24,971 --> 01:25:27,265
♪ And in the blackout
you had the power ♪
1418
01:25:27,432 --> 01:25:30,268
♪ And savored every hour,
like, "Baby, oooh, baby, oooh" ♪
1419
01:25:30,435 --> 01:25:32,562
♪ Yeah, with my taste
in your mouth ♪
1420
01:25:32,729 --> 01:25:34,856
♪ The room spun round
and round and round ♪
1421
01:25:35,023 --> 01:25:36,941
♪ Down down ♪
1422
01:25:37,108 --> 01:25:39,319
♪ There's a sense
that all's not well ♪
1423
01:25:39,485 --> 01:25:42,405
♪ And I'm disgusted
with myself ♪
1424
01:25:54,584 --> 01:25:57,462
♪ I'm taking back the control
you had over me ♪
1425
01:25:57,629 --> 01:26:00,256
♪ I need to find some closure
so I can breathe ♪
1426
01:26:00,423 --> 01:26:03,384
♪ Just tie me down with
every fiber of your shame ♪
1427
01:26:03,551 --> 01:26:06,554
♪ You make me doubt,
but I was never the one to blame ♪
1428
01:26:06,721 --> 01:26:09,349
♪ I'm taking back the control
you had over me ♪
1429
01:26:09,515 --> 01:26:12,435
♪ I need to find some closure
so I can breathe ♪
1430
01:26:12,602 --> 01:26:15,438
♪ Just tie me down with
every fiber of your shame ♪
1431
01:26:15,605 --> 01:26:19,025
♪ You make me doubt,
but I was never the one to blame ♪
1432
01:26:19,192 --> 01:26:21,694
♪ People doubt,
they will judge you ♪
1433
01:26:21,861 --> 01:26:24,989
♪ Without bounds
and with no clue ♪
1434
01:26:25,156 --> 01:26:27,659
♪ Keep it hidden,
keep it closed ♪
1435
01:26:27,825 --> 01:26:30,954
♪ Tell no secrets,
no one knows ♪
1436
01:26:31,120 --> 01:26:33,998
♪ Guess you're right
and there's no blame ♪
1437
01:26:34,165 --> 01:26:36,960
♪ With no fight, it's fair game ♪
1438
01:26:37,126 --> 01:26:41,381
♪ I was young and naive,
choose to blame me... ♪
1439
01:26:48,805 --> 01:26:51,474
♪ I'm taking back the control
you had over me ♪
1440
01:26:51,641 --> 01:26:54,560
♪ I need to find some closure
so I can breathe ♪
1441
01:26:54,727 --> 01:26:57,647
♪ Just tie me down with
every fiber of your shame ♪
1442
01:26:57,814 --> 01:27:00,692
♪ You make me doubt,
but I was never the one to blame ♪
1443
01:27:00,858 --> 01:27:03,486
♪ I'm taking back the control
you had over me ♪
1444
01:27:03,653 --> 01:27:06,531
♪ I need to find some closure
so I can breathe ♪
1445
01:27:06,698 --> 01:27:09,575
♪ Just tie me down with
every fiber of your shame ♪
1446
01:27:09,742 --> 01:27:12,954
♪ You make me doubt,
but I was never the one to blame ♪
1447
01:27:13,121 --> 01:27:15,999
♪ Stupid girl, silly plaything,
I was yours for the taking ♪
1448
01:27:16,165 --> 01:27:18,960
♪ In the blackout you had power
and you savored every hour ♪
1449
01:27:19,127 --> 01:27:22,088
♪ With my taste in your mouth,
the room spun round and round ♪
1450
01:27:22,255 --> 01:27:25,383
♪ There's a sense all ain't well,
I'm disgusted with myself. ♪
103779
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