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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:04,029 SAFE DRIVING 2 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:14,614 Hey Beavis... 3 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,917 it's like, I already know how to drive. 4 00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:21,389 So it's like, I don't really need to take this class. 5 00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:22,646 Yeah. Me too. 6 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:26,221 - I've driven before. - No you haven't, Beavis. 7 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,422 You drove bumper cars that one time. 8 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:34,861 And you got stuck in the corner. Everyone was kicking your ass. 9 00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,267 Even that little girl. 10 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:39,767 Shut up, Butt-Head. 11 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:44,443 I drove a real car once. You weren't there. It was somewhere else. 12 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:45,741 It was cool, yeah. 13 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:56,790 Permission slips and birth certificates! Let's see them. Move it! Move it! 14 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,392 PARENTAL PERMISSION MR. BUTTHEAD 15 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,089 CERTIFICATE OF BIRTH 16 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,727 What are you staring at, Butt-Head? 17 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,301 PARENT PERMISSION BIRTH CERTIFICATE 18 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:14,133 You waiting for a playful pat on the butt? Move it! 19 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,538 This is gonna be cool! 20 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,038 Yeah, yeah. 21 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:27,954 Oh no. 22 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,449 This isn't very good, Butt-Head. 23 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,123 Thank you, Beavis. 24 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:36,359 Like I couldn't have figured that out myself. 25 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,331 Anytime. 26 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:43,569 Boy! 27 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:48,474 - This really isn't very good. - Yeah, yeah. I know that, Butt-Head. 28 00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:50,939 Tell me something I don't know. Yeah. 29 00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:53,244 Okay. 30 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,941 You know the last time you went to the bathroom? 31 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,953 - Yeah. - I hocked a loogie in your Coke... 32 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,216 and you drank it. 33 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,419 It was cool. 34 00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,188 I knew that. 35 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,086 I spit it out. 36 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,186 No, you didn't. 37 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:14,827 - You drank it. - Shut up, Butt-Head. 38 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:18,034 I took a dump on a cracker you were eating one time. 39 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,302 Yeah, I remember that. 40 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:24,036 - But I didn't eat it. - Yeah, but it was cool. 41 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,736 - You ate the cracker. - Yeah. 42 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,209 I took the turd off and finished the cracker. 43 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,250 So what? 44 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,518 By the way, this video really sucks, Beavis. 45 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:44,025 Yeah, really. Tell me something I d... I mean, yeah. This sucks! Yeah! 46 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:54,164 I can't get a girl 'cause I ain't got a car. 47 00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,072 - Yeah. - Yeah yeah, really. 48 00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,979 I can't get a car 'cause I ain't got a job. 49 00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,973 - Yeah. Me neither. - Me neither. 50 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:08,121 I can't get a job 'cause I ain't got a car. 51 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,914 - Yeah. - Yeah, really. 52 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,992 - Life sucks! - So I'm looking for a girl 53 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:16,088 - with a job and a car. - Whoa! 54 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:19,126 Find a girl with a job and a car. 55 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,233 - That's a good idea! - Oh yeah, yeah. 56 00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:24,003 This guy's really smart. 57 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,740 Yeah, it's like, he figures out what his problems are 58 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:30,399 and then he like, figures out, you know, what to do about it. 59 00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:41,183 I can't go to school 'cause I ain't got a gun. 60 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,714 - Preach on, brother Cooper. - I know that's right. 61 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:48,488 I ain't got a gun 'cause I ain't got a job. 62 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,719 I heard that yeah, yeah, really. 63 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:55,566 I ain't got a job 'cause I can't go to school. 64 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:59,133 - That sucks. - Yeah. 65 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:02,472 So I'm looking for a girl with a gun and a job. 66 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,573 And a house... with cable. 67 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,304 He doesn't get cable? 68 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,476 Really! What a dumbass! 69 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:14,308 If you don't have cable you might as well just, like, you know, like, like... 70 00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:18,346 - go to school or something. - He can't go to school, Beavis, remember? 71 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:21,986 He doesn't have a job, he doesn't have a girl or a car or cable... 72 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,086 He doesn't have cable? 73 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,398 No way, he's like a rock star and stuff. 74 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,427 I thought all rock stars had cable. 75 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,142 Cut it out, butthole! 76 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:44,311 Shut the hell up! Now, welcome to driver's ed. 77 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,815 I'm required to tell you that the film we are about to see 78 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:51,519 contains actual footage of gruesome car crashes. 79 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,617 - Yes! - Yeah. Yeah! 80 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,927 Multiple car pileups! 81 00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,861 Car crashes rule! 82 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,002 It's nothing I haven't seen, 83 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:05,233 but it may be too much for some of you delicate types. 84 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:09,570 Now, no one's gonna think you're a pantywaist if you can't take it, 85 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,711 but if you can't, I suggest you 86 00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:16,009 get your pathetic, weak-willed little butt out of here now! 87 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,677 You have five seconds. 88 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:25,418 - That guy's a wuss. - Yeah. He's a panty-wuss. 89 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,983 Shut up! Lights! 90 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,432 THE STATE HIGHWAY PATROL 91 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:44,102 BLOODY MESS BEHIND THE WHEEL 92 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,811 - This movie's old. - Yeah. 93 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:51,043 This is from back when people were stupid. 94 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:53,750 Quiet! 95 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,721 Most young people are conscientious citizens, 96 00:05:56,756 --> 00:06:00,952 who drive defensively and obey all the applicable traffic laws. 97 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,061 Look, he's flipping him off. 98 00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:05,990 - Yeah. - Shut up! 99 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:10,058 But there's always going to be one or two bad apples in the bunch. 100 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,473 Those guys are cool. 101 00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:20,909 These two boys, let's call them Vinnie and Frankie, 102 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:24,873 think they're "cool". All their friends think they're "cool". 103 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,679 But unsafe driving is never "cool". 104 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:31,080 - Let's cruise, Frankie. - Hey, cool. 105 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:35,988 Cool. 106 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,502 Faster! Faster! 107 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,354 Hang a Louie, Frankie. 108 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,961 He said "loogie". 109 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,992 And.... he... he said "hang" too. 110 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,999 - Louie, Frankie! Louie! - Wait. First, I gotta signal. 111 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:22,200 - Don't be a square, Frankie. Just hang it. - All right, wisenheimer. 112 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,973 Splat. 113 00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,983 OFFICIAL STATE PATROL FOOTAGE 114 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,484 Whoa! His brain fell out! 115 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:47,697 This is your brain! This is your brain on the street. Any questions? Yeah. 116 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,032 THE END 117 00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:50,799 That was cool! 118 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,711 Who is this dude? He looks familiar. 119 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:07,186 Oh yeah, yeah, that's... what's his name? Captain Kangaroo! 120 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:12,186 - Captain what? - You know, Captain Kangaroo. 121 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:16,254 You know, Mr. Green Jeans and Magic Drawing Board, yeah. 122 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,554 You know. 123 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,561 What kind of music is this? 124 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:31,274 I think this is, like, some kind of gangsta rap. 125 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,206 Oh yeah. 126 00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:39,180 I bet this dude scores a lot because, like, he wears black. 127 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,683 Plus, he's old. 128 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:47,386 ...make me want to grab my submachine. 129 00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:50,624 - Whoa! This is pretty violent! - Yeah. 130 00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,490 Enough is enough. 131 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:59,165 - First time I shot her... - Whoa! 132 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:03,108 - I shot her in the side. - He shouldn't have shot that chick. 133 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:06,272 - She's pretty hot. - Yeah, really. 134 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,578 I would've taken her off his hands. 135 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,951 Yeah, you know what he should have done? He should have, like, 136 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,551 fired some warning shots up in the air, and that would have 137 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,583 just scared her away. And then like, and then like, I could score. 138 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:22,256 I guess if a chick has to choose between, like, dying or like, doing it with you... 139 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,090 you might actually have a chance of scoring, Beavis. 140 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,659 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. 141 00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:31,493 That's why I was suggesting it. Yeah. 142 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,177 All right, Butt-Head. Now pay attention! 143 00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:44,274 Just release the brake, 144 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,181 and press gently on the accelerator. 145 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,483 Yeah, dumbass. Drive! Drive! 146 00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:54,321 Butt-Head, what is your problem? 147 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:57,292 Apply gentle pressure to the accelerator. 148 00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,831 Do it! Now! 11185

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