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1
00:00:00,301 --> 00:00:03,736
THEY'RE COMING TO
TAKE ME AWAY, HUH HUH
2
00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:15,548
Hey, Beavis.
Check this out.
3
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,118
Big deal,
I can do that.
4
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,251
Oh, yeah?
5
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:23,546
Watch this.
6
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,120
Now listen up, people!
7
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:30,360
I am not an
unreasonable man,
8
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:33,633
but I say there's nothing wrong
with you little monsters
9
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:38,265
that can't be cured by a quick return
to the days of corporal punishment!
10
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,573
Now, here to talk to you
about your feelings
11
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:45,443
is our new school
psychiatrist, Dr. Floss.
12
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:52,750
Thank you, Mr. Buzzcut. Today, being
my first day here at Highland High,
13
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,883
I'm trying to meet as
many students as possible
14
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,792
and to let you know that
I'm here to help at your request.
15
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:04,130
If you have problems or
worries, my door is always open,
16
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:06,998
but on a strictly
voluntary basis.
17
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:12,439
Let me assure you that no
one will be required to see me.
18
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,810
That's cool.
19
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,913
You two! My office, now!
20
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:39,664
Check it out, that guy's
about to score! Stop the truck!
21
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,662
Pull over, buttmunch!
22
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:47,138
Today is the greatest
day I've ever known…
23
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:51,244
He thinks it's the greatest day because
he, like, stole an ice-cream truck.
24
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:52,778
Yeah, that's cool.
25
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,282
If I stole one of those,
I'd like go out to the desert
26
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:58,616
and then I'd just like start eating all the Rocket
Pops, and the Chocolate Chippety Crunches,
27
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:01,747
and... and the Dreamsicles,
yeah, and the Nutty-Buddies…
28
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,018
- Shut up, Beavis!
- and the Froggies.
29
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,692
These guys are called
the Smashing Pumpkins.
30
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:21,033
- I don't see 'em smashing anything.
- Yeah.
31
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,835
And I don't see any pumpkins.
32
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,948
Like, this part of
the song, right here
33
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:33,720
this is pretty cool. This is where
they should, like, smash stuff.
34
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,421
Right there, they could
be smashing stuff, see?
35
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,151
Instead of like, you know,
doing that other stuff.
36
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,030
These guys should
like, get together with
37
00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:48,350
the Spin Doctors,
and like, paint stuff.
38
00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:50,780
Yeah, and throw paint around.
39
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,684
Seems like every time, like,
a bunch of guys get together
40
00:02:53,684 --> 00:02:56,135
and throw paint around,
there's always some chicks there.
41
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,143
Yeah. I wonder why.
42
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:09,480
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Throw stuff at him!
Yeah, throw stuff at him! Yeah, yeah!
43
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,327
That's pretty cool.
44
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,902
Why don't you start by telling
me your earliest memories?
45
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,905
Uh, I woke up and,
like, took a whiz.
46
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,110
I see.
47
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:38,248
Only I had to, like, stand
way back from the toilet.
48
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:47,123
And why is that?
49
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:54,230
Yes. I'm interested in anything
50
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:57,736
either of you might want
to tell me about your boyhood.
51
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,564
Uh, I just did.
52
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:07,575
How about your parents?
Your mother, for example.
53
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,812
How do you feel
about your mother?
54
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,684
Um, like this?
55
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,819
Kind of like this.
56
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:20,089
- That's not how I feel your mother.
- Shut up, fart knocker!
57
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,891
That was cool.
58
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,495
Hey, Beavis,
check this out.
59
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:43,042
- I got the last grape.
- No way, Beavis, I saw it first!
60
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:44,649
Cut it out!
61
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,251
My germs.
62
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,411
No way!
63
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,757
Bunghole!
64
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,456
No way!
65
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,162
Come on, Butt-Head,
I always get the grape!
66
00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:01,300
It's not gonna taste like
grape when it's up your butt.
67
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,075
Now...
68
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,876
I'd like you boys
to look at these drawings
69
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,712
and tell me what you see.
70
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:20,181
What?
71
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,979
It's like this dude.
72
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:27,085
And he's, you know,
auditioning his finger puppets.
73
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,985
He's shining
his helmet.
74
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,200
I see.
75
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,497
And what do
you see here?
76
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,437
He's really corralling the tadpoles.
77
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,143
He's really peeling
some chilis.
78
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,648
I see.
79
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,712
And how about this one?
80
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,818
Leave a little for
next time, dude.
81
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,857
He's really, like, having
a tug o' war with Cyclops.
82
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,861
Paper or plastic, sir?
83
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,969
He's masturbating.
84
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,371
Hmm, I see.
85
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,982
And how about
this last drawing?
86
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,384
That's, like, just a
bunch of weird shapes.
87
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,420
Fascinating.
88
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,492
Principal McVicker, could you come
in here immediately?
89
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:38,687
We've got big problems.
90
00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:51,344
How you doing, baby?
91
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,509
Pretty good, how's it going?
92
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,112
She is talking to me.
93
00:06:56,816 --> 00:07:00,878
Shut up, Butt-Head.
Hey baby, what high school do you go to?
94
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:06,156
Beavis... you don't know
how to talk to chicks.
95
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,751
Yeah I do. Check this out.
96
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,294
How's it going?
97
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:12,554
Nice butt!
98
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,057
Dumbass.
99
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,375
Hey Butt-Head, check this out.
100
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:33,787
That was cool!
101
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,888
- Lick him like a lollipop should be licked.
- Lick him?
102
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,316
Hey Butt-Head, she said,
she said "lick him"!
103
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:42,388
No she didn't, Beavis.
104
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,589
They wouldn't her say that on TV.
105
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,899
Oh well, it would've
been cool if she did tho.
106
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,903
Girl, look at him.
107
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,501
He's the cutest brother in here.
108
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,642
He's the only brother in there.
109
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:08,185
He said his hot rod is
twelve inches to a yard!
110
00:08:08,185 --> 00:08:09,846
Really? That's pretty big, 'cause
111
00:08:09,846 --> 00:08:11,644
usually those model race cars
112
00:08:11,644 --> 00:08:13,843
are just like, I don't know,
like, I don't know, like,
113
00:08:13,847 --> 00:08:17,305
the Revell ones are like,
you know, six inches and stuff.
114
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:28,069
Now remember to be especially
kind to our new friends,
115
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:33,137
because the sudden change
from being students to patients
116
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,978
in a psychiatric ward could
be very hard on them.
117
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,412
She said "very hard".
118
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,518
Then she said "on".
119
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,791
Look! Butt-Head! Butt-Head!
It's GWAR! It's GWAR! It's GWAR!
120
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,698
I can't believe it! It's GWAR!
121
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:10,042
This is what it's all about.
122
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,450
It's like, it's like, you watch
all these videos,
123
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:16,551
you watch TV, you watch TV, everything sucks,
and then something like this comes on,
124
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,488
- and it's like, it's like, it's cool!
- Yeah!
125
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:25,689
- Look at that dude!
- Yeah, look at that! That's cool!
126
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,794
Check it out.
That's cool too!
127
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:31,801
It's like, there's too much
cool stuff to keep track of.
128
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,360
It's like, you have to watch TV
for like hours and hours
129
00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:47,587
and hours before
you see this video,
130
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,078
but it's like, when you
do it's all worth it.
131
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,080
It sure is.
132
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:56,044
You know what they should do?
They should, like, tell you
133
00:09:56,045 --> 00:09:58,694
what time the video's like
in TV Guide or something.
134
00:09:58,695 --> 00:10:00,900
That would be cool.
But then it's like,
135
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:05,194
you'd still have to like, watch for hours
and hours and hours until it came on.
136
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,802
No you wouldn't, Beavis!
137
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,409
It's like, if they say it's gonna be
on like, at eleven o'clock or something,
138
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,713
- then like, you know when it's gonna be on.
- Yeah, but like, if it's like
139
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:18,742
six o'clock, then it's like, you have
to keep watching it, because it's not on.
140
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,646
Oh yeah.
141
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:25,113
Well, at least you what
time it's on, though.
142
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,926
But like, how do you know what time it is?
143
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,220
I don't know.
144
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:35,128
I guess you'd have to keep
watching until the video came on.
145
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,325
Then it's like, you'd know what time it is.
146
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,728
That'd be a good idea.
11238
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