All language subtitles for [Waploaded_12541]LaGraine20231080pAMZNWEB-DLDD51H264-playWEB_track7_5Beng5D

Wouldn't you rather see a film?
It'd be better.

Yeah, excellent idea, yeah.

- Or fondue, what about that?
- You got the equipment.

Yeah, no worries. Stop being ridiculous,
and stay here. Thank you.

- How do you know what to expect?
- They don't bite.

Well, they can. You'll love it!

- Evening, sorry.
- Evening, funny man. In you go.

Go on.

Thanks!

- Another idiot!
- Oh yeah, one every night, as ever.

- Hey.
- Hello.

- I don't like this, we're leaving.
- Oh, come on!

I'm getting used to the cool vibe in here.
It's fun, huh?

How's it going?

- Nope.
- Sorry.

Excuse me, can I help you?
Do you need the toilet?

No, uh, no. We're not lost.

Uh... We're here to hook up.

- My cousin, not me.
- Oh, your cousin!

- Yeah.
- Okay.

That's why we're here!

It's cool, she's one us!

There you go,
your welcome gift.

You'll be fine,
we've all been there.

- Thanks.
- Um...

I'm not gonna take care of everything,
but what's your type?

I don't mind.
Remember, I'm a first timer.

Well, you must know.

Wow, yeah, she...

Okay, stay very still.
They're making a move.

That is making a move?

No one makes the first move,
they're women.

This could take a while.

Then they'll be living together
in two months.

- In only two months?
- Mhmm.

That's quick!

Never mind, she's unavailable.
No one's waiting around.

I've been waiting for you.

Uh-uh.
Don't even think about it, Sabine, no.

- What about her?
- Uh, no. No...

Okay, maybe not her.
Listen, she gave you a beer...

I don't want...

I...

Sorry.

Uh...

Uh... Could...

Could I buy you a cocktail
to maybe make up for it?

That's very sweet, but I don't think
cocktails are Nadège's specialty.

Hey, I'd get the mini umbrellas out,
but you only drink beer.

Nadège... I'll have one Piña Colada.

Really? Adventurous.

Ah, an optimist...
I prefer not to generalise.

Hey, Lucie!

Ah, I think your girlfriend's thirsty.

- Uh, here. Can you give that to Cécile?
- Sure.

Uh...

What about you? With someone?

- No.
- Okay.

No, no. I was in a long-term thing...
with a man.

And he'd go for cocktails after work?

So, no one can put a foot wrong?

Yes, but only one time.

Ah... Cécile.

- Can I introduce...
- Inès.

- Inès.
- Okay, bye, Inès.

Let's go, it's boring here.

Yeah, well, you know, um...
Just get a taxi. I'm coming.

- A taxi? Right...
- Yeah...

Here you go.

Don't drink that.

Okay, give me your number,
I've got a good memory.

06 23 98 20 12.

But you'll never call me.

We got a lot to look forward to,
you and me.

4 years later

So, what happened?

Extortion.

Money?

No, for sperm.

Huh?

Is that a new thing?

Wasn't a thing in my time.

- Does it sell for much?
- A fortune.

Okay...

So, tell me.
I'd like to hear your plan.

There's no bloody plan,
just want a child.

But you're missing an ingredient.

THE SEED

A few days earlier...

- Hello.
- I'm Inès.

- Uh-huh. Did you find it okay?
- Yes, it was easy.

It took a bit longer
because of the protests.

Ah! I'm sorry, what was it about?

The environment.
Protesting the Richard Law.

Everyone's in agreement,
it's historic.

- Lucie. Uh, she's a journalist.
- Hello.

Hello. Uh, ex-journalist.

I'm writing press releases
for perfumes that smell, but they pay.

And you?

- Me?
- Yeah.

I'm on a prenatal maternity leave.

Follow me,
I'll show you the bedroom.

Ah, yes.
So, the decor is a little different now

from the photos on the site,
so...

It's temporary.

I swear.

And here we are!

- It doesn't look like the photos.
- Well, uh, it's the new feng shui.

Uh, I'm not familiar.

If you like, you can use the mobile
to help you fall asleep very quickly.

It's creepy, huh?

Uh, can we move the beds closer?
Uh, it's our wedding anniversary.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

I'll let you guys get settled.

Thank you.

The decor got criticised again.

Huh?

They criticised the decor in the room.

Well, didn't you
get a little carried away?

Uh, no!

Sorry for believing
the 4th try might be it.

Shouldn't we put stuff
in the cellar? Really...

What do you mean?

What kind of message are we giving
our child if we clear out their room?

If really want a child, we need cash,
and to get cash, we need reservations,

and it's getting known
that this "charming room in Paris"

is turning into a nursery.

No, they would never!

Do you hear that?

- What?
- What?

They're banging away,
can't you hear?

- Maybe we could do the same?
- Uh, do you think I'm in the mood?

With those two perverts!

It's like in the cinema
when people eat popcorn.

If you eat it too,
you can't hear them.

It's a no!

It's unbelievable!

If we were straight,
you'd be all over me to get pregnant.

That's it!

No, no, I really want them to stop it.

No, no, no!

We can't risk bad reviews like that!

- Screw them!
- No, hang on a second.

It's finished.

- Are you sure?
- Shh!

That didn't last too long.

Alright...

Come here... my little grump.

When you're ready, all set.

Oh, sorry. Sorry...

Why is the bar at the entrance?

You can't get between the lesbians
and the beer taps.

Oh, it's you! We finally meet.

I've heard so much about you.

- Do you know my name?
- No.

No? Don't worry about it.

Your frontal lobe isn't connected
to your brain yet.

Thanks, Inès.
If could not traumatise my step-son?

Let me handle this.
I'm all over it. Come on.

Win, yeah?

- Huh?
- Look at you.

Yeah.

- Where is she?
- There, with the PSG.

- Isn't that her ex?
- Yeah.

I know we're not supposed
to like her, but...

- She's hot.
- No, she looks like a man.

- Hmm... She does not.
- She does.

You can tell when you get closer,
and will wanna give her an apple.

- Thanks.
- Hey!

I didn't know
you liked depressed girls.

She's not depressed, she's tired.

And your wife, she good?

Yeah, over there,
watching the kids.

- Huh, what kids?
- Our kids.

What?

Mhmm, first try.

Scandinavian strength.

Super expensive
but highly effective.

Hmm.

What did you call them?

Volvo and Gravlax?

Very funny, but no.

No.

- Are you jealous now?
- Me?

- Yeah. You are.
- Pfft, no.

- Hang on.
- I'm not.

- I hear you were trying too, right?
- Yep.

So... where?

Belgium.

- What?
- Belgium.

Ah yeah...

France's car park, good for you.

- How many attempts?
- Five.

- How many?
- You're annoying! Why do you care?

You'd laugh at everyone who couldn't
go out without having a babysitter.

Not such a big problem, eh?

You're right.

It's not visceral for me to want kids.
I fell in love.

Let's get started, shall we?

I don't love you either.

- Super.
- Good.

- Come on, let's play.
- Mm.

Heads, tails.

Heads.

A little respect, please. Again.

- Tails.
- Tails.

We'll do it like this.

Okay, tails.

- Heads.
- Heads, yeah.

- Yes!
- Heads.

What's going on?

They've all reproduced,
it's not possible.

Look how happy they are
with themselves.

I hope they all die.

I don't get
your obsession with children.

Only been six months
and I wanna leave him.

Not because he's not mine,
his mother wants to too. She's had enough.

He thinks I'm a bin.

If there's a bin a metre away,
"Here, take my rubbish."

- Finished?
- You don't understand.

Don't I also have the right
to be a bin?

Sure, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

When's the next try
for the life as a human bin?

It's imminent.

Okay.

Uh-uh!
That child has a mum, no stealing.

- He needs a snack.
- Luring him with sugar...

Classic kidnapping tactics.
Well done, bravo.

- You okay, hungry?
- Yeah.

- Really? Would you like a snack?
- Yeah.

Yeah!

Stop making that face,
you'll be fine.

- Thanks for lending me your car.
- No problem. Just be careful, okay?

Go slowly. Just pay attention.

Well, I have to drive slowly,
mainly for the implantation.

So, everything stays attached.

You think your theory's true?

No, it's bullshit.

But train tickets are too dear.

They tell you the day before,
so you can't prepare.

- And we're broke.
- Does Inès know this?

No, I don't wanna worry her.

If it doesn't work,
what will happen?

Then, I have to wait... two years.

- Two years?
- To save money. I don't have a choice.

- No, no. She'll never last two years.
- I know.

- She'll lose it.
- Yeah.

She did try to steal my kid.

- She's not okay.
- Yeah, I know. I live with her.

- Here she is.
- Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, it'll be fine.

Your chariot awaits.

You got perfect suspension.

You can't be more comfortable
for the implantation.

- It's longer than the train.
- I know.

She persuaded you with her theory?

Hey, it's not a theory,
it's a definite.

It's the rail company,
they're egg killers.

Alright, don't do anything crazy, okay?

We're going to a clinic
in Brussels, not Ibiza.

- Ibiza, I miss you.
- What?

Nothing. I love you.

- Love you too.
- Yeah, love you too. Okay, get going.

Alright, let's go for it!

Let's do this!

This crazy, we know them all.

Excuse me,
weren't you here last time?

So, it didn't work then...

- Again?
- Lucie!

Yeah, that's us.

It failed again.

It's fine. When conceiving a child,
there's always a bit of mystery.

It's something there's no control over.

It'll happen when it happens.

If left to fate,
there's nothing for us to do.

Anyone there?

Are you okay? What's wrong?

That Buddhist monk pissed me off.

We're gonna bring in
some Scandinavian energy.

It doesn't work here,
but all of Denmark gets pregnant.

What's the connection?

The articles I read
say in Belgium it's relaxed.

It's too relaxed!

Up there in the North,
they have good morale,

they do their jobs really, really well.

Here in Belgium,
it's all... compromise and company.

Can I help you?

Yes, you can help us.

We've had five tries.

So, I'd like to be told
the whole protocol.

It appears you've been doing
some stimulation of the hormones.

No. A woman raises her voices
and it must be her hormones!

She's going to carry.

I see, concerning the protocol,

we always choose files for you
from somebody who looks like you.

I want the details? "We", who?

Wo chooses the files? A unicorn?

No, it's not a unicorn.

It's Mr Peeters,
the director of the clinic.

Mr Peeters?
So, why have we never heard of Mr Peeters?

Because you haven't inquired yet.

Okay, and what's this Mr Peeters like?

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

I've heard of cases
where the doctor uses his own sperm.

- That doesn't happen here, right?
- That is not Mr Peeters!

So we're led to believe.

Can we meet him because...

Ah no, no.

No, he's occupied.

We've given enough money to this clinic.
He should find time for us.

He can't, he's busy.

- Doesn't make sense.
- Inès Finch?

Yeah, that's us. Let's go.

- They're hiding something, be back.
- Stop playing journalist.

I'll be two minutes.
Don't let them inseminate you.

Miss?

- Shouldn't we wait for your wife?
- Coming.

Doors closing.

It's strange
that it hasn't worked before.

- It's a fine uterus.
- I get that all the time.

- Huh?
- I get that all the time.

Yeah, that is the win.

What are you doing there?

Stop...

Oh! Hi, Elodie!

Don't blame yourself
if it doesn't work.

You can see the follicles,
they're ready to be fertilised.

- It's perfect.
- Um...

- Can you zoom in?
- You can't see it.

Stop everything!

What's your problem?

Sorry... He's diluting the sperm.

- What? No!
- Him!

Leslie...

Can I have a minute, please?

- Thanks.
- Of course.

- They're weird. Very weird.
- Yes. Alright.

Thank you, Leslie.
There's the door.

- Very weird.
- Go on. Thank you.

Alright, you must've seen me.

- This is a misunderstanding.
- You dilute the sperm!

That's the thawing procedure.
I didn't invent it.

False! I've seen tutorials,
don't play the mechanic with me.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

No wonder it hasn't worked.
He's diluting the sperm!

Ah.

So, it's not me
that's the problem.

Oh!

Hear that?
I'll lose her because of you.

But I don't have a choice,
let me explain!

What do you mean?

Supplies are dry, it's...
We've run out of stock.

There are no people donating,
and the demand is high.

So, that's your excuse, eh?

You give false hope to women.

The problem is no one...

No one wants to hear the word "no".

Show them the door,
they come back through the window.

Me, I'm harassed day and night

by people who want
to be put on the waiting list.

Ugh! People send boxes of chocolate
to my home.

That's no excuse.

I'll expose you in a huge scandal.
You should be in prison!

Excuse me!
I'm ovulating like crazy.

You're just leaving me like this, huh?

Yeah, hmph!

Before we expose you,
give us some of your best spermatozoid.

But we're spent.

You did all of it?

Oh yeah.

You've run out of the pure.

No. Well...

Yes, but it's...

But what?

I could get a hold
of excellent sperm, but...

- Great!
- ...it's from donors who are...

deceased.

- You take sperm from the dead!
- No, it's not...

You're confusing everything.

My colleague, he retired.
He closed his hospital and...

And he sold me his...

His sperm.

- Is it good quality, this sperm?
- The best quality.

I don't want sperm from the dead.

No, I have my limits.

If it's well-preserved,
it'll be better than his old juice.

It's bizarre.

It could be someone from ages ago
who's an awful, I dunno...

- Paternalistic, racist, homophobe.
- Is homophobia genetic?

Impossible.

I don't have anything else to offer.

You take it or leave it, that's it.

Fine, well...

This will be your downfall, Mr Peeters.

Give me a minute. I got an idea,
and when I get one, it's quick.

I might have something
that could help you.

It's just very...

But, oh, don't say anything.

Uh, no.
As a journalist, impossible, sir.

- What's this something else?
- No!

Yes, we said we'd try it all.

Okay, but what he's doing is a scandal.

I'm ovulating for another 48 hours.

That's, that's excellent.

What are you offering
to stop me?

- I'll get you a donor right away.
- Not sufficient.

We want the best in Belgium!

You'll have the best sperm in Belgium.

I mean, what's good sperm after all?
Sperm is sperm, huh?

No, no.

The best sperm will make sure
that when I pee on a test,

there won't be two,
but there will be four lines.

Messaged received loud and clear.

- Super.
- Let's go to the source.

Catholic University of Louvain

This is the source?

- Would a prison be better?
- I didn't say that.

You know what, ladies?
I'll let you in on a secret.

I'd like to think of myself
as the Luigi Lavazza of my profession.

Why? Two reasons.

The first,
I have the same idea as him in life.

I want the best for my clients.

Like him for his coffee,
he wants the best.

It's out of the question
for him to get a bean

that's, you know, crushed,
badly dried.

I'm the same, I want quality.

I want extra quality,
I want premium quality!

Okay? The best of the best,
the Holy Grail.

This is where we find him.

This is a veritable hotbed
of five-star sperm.

It's sperm of high quality,

sperm that's well-educated,
sperm from a good family,

lively sperm that knows
where it's going in life.

Ah, before the water.

No, because whether
it's expresso or Americano,

the quality always the same.

That's what you need to understand.

Hi there, great?

Stop holding hands, ladies.
You're attracting unwanted attention.

Hello.

Come va?

Va bene?

Hey, it's the sperm guy!
What's up, man?

Anyone willing
to slap their sausage?

Start by finding your sausage,
then we'll talk.

They aren't willing to help.

That's not it.
The issue is these guys are rich.

We need the scholarship students.

Just need to look at the shoes.

You can learn so much
by looking at a person's shoes.

Here.

How are you, Norbert?

Still not interested
in a free check-up?

It'd be good for a sportsy guy.

You could afford to eat
more than a sandwich.

No, I don't feel like jizzing in a cup.

But at home it's a daily thing.

Well, yeah, at home,
but not in a cup.

Shall we continue our tour?

Antonin!

- Hey, Michel! How are you?
- Alright, chef.

What will it be?

I'll take a bacon sandwich

with the... tomato sauce, yeah.

That guy made me hungry.

Will you ladies join me?

- No.
- You can share one.

No, no.

- I'm buying.
- No!

One more and large fries
and some Belgian sauces.

One Bicky, one Samurai,
one barbecue, one Andalouse...

and a Dallas, double dose.

Okay, sure.

And have you got five minutes,
I want to talk to you in private.

No problem.

What's up?

Well, I wanted
to let you know officially

that you're welcome indeed
to join my clinic.

- No!
- It's official.

But first,
I'd like you to do a small favour

for my friends here.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

But can I just confirm
I'm joining the program?

It's official.

I've been waiting so long!
I'll finally stop smelling of...

Uh, why has he been waiting so long
if you say there's a shortage?

No, no, no. It's the procedure.

The administration takes forever,
you see?

Yeah,
my sperm came back not so great.

Thank God you retested me,
I knew it must've been a mistake.

My phone's never near my balls, uh...

I eat organic
and don't wear tights or synthetic.

So, I'll...

- You'd have us use his dud sperm?
- You don't want us to have kids.

We have no sperm.
How else can I explain it?

Oh, please! It's all around.

A man produces between
100-200 million spermatozoa a day.

Imagine how many billions
there are here.

Don't tell me there's no more.

Where's the bar for students?

It's just, uh, over there.

Hmph. Come on, Lucie, let's go.

Yeah...

- I could really do with a drink.
- And find a donor.

Of course.

Hey, how am I getting back?

Wait in the car,
we won't be long.

Yeah, sure you won't.

Where on Earth
did you find those two?

You're a champion, you are.

Well, here's our spermatozoids.

Let's split up
or we'll scare them off.

Okay, I'm the one who's scared.

I'm gonna try that one,
he looks like you.

No, he doesn't!

- He does!
- Does not!

No.

No, you can't bring a human into the world
while it's falling apart.

You want a child to live
through the end of the world?

Humans, resources.
More humans fewer resources.

What we do when nothing's left?

Look, I'm all for it,

but I'm so drunk, so...

It could be...

...hard to get hard.

Can we do it at the weekend
or quickly one morning, you know?

On a Monday.

'Cause starting Tuesday, I drink.

Oh, okay.
So, you're not the mummy.

Well, real mother, I mean.

And so, when the baby comes,
what will he call you?

Since... Like, "Miss",
or is there another word for that?

I could always keep the dad role.

No.

No, no. There's no need.

What about Father's Day and all that?
What do we do?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, really?

Alright, yeah.

Lucie, he's agreed!

- Agreed to what?
- To be the donor.

Really?
It looks like he's agreed to you.

You can watch, if you want.

- I can watch what?
- When we bone.

- Sorry?
- He's saying the donation.

Well, to make a donation,
there must be a... a bone.

Sometimes, but, uh...

not necessarily.

- Absolutely not! No!
- How do we do it then?

- You come with us to the clinic.
- Oh, no, no. That's way too hard.

I do have a flat,
we can go there right now.

Do the business, in-out,
piece of cake.

In-out... Wait a minute, oh!

You don't get it. She's a lesbian.

She's not gonna sleep with a man.

I'm in with a lesbian?

What'd you tell him?

Maybe in a jam jar,
then we can leave out the clinic.

No, wait a second.
What's the plan here, seriously?

You want me to donate my sperm

in the middle of #MeToo,
#IAmWoman, #TimesUp,

#NotAllMen,
and then eventually if they do, all men!

What if you accuse me of rape?
You'd have my DNA. What do I do?

You were ready to without protection!

So, yeah...

but at least that's worth the risk.

Have you looked around here?
All gross! It's like a farmyard.

Okay...

- We're leaving.
- No, come on.

- Ladies, ladies! Come on, I was joking.
- Shh!

- Such a let-down.
- Stop it.

So?

"The smartass falls in the grass",
I didn't come up with it.

I did my part of the job here.

- I'd like to go home now.
- No, you're not doing that.

If you bail, we go to the police,
and you're finished.

Meeting donors is too difficult.

Let's go back to the clinic
with the files and numbers.

But you don't understand.
It's 5 o'clock, there's nothing I can do.

I can find you a hotel
or a campsite, but that's all.

- We'll stay with you.
- It's the best option.

No, it's out of the question.

- Why?
- Because...

I have a wife at home.

No, you don't understand.

Your wife is the least of your problems.

Assuming that I accept,

I have one condition.

This whole incident, uh...

this afternoon...

we forget it forever.

- Okay?
- Promise.

- Promise?
- Yeah, I promise.

Okay.

Promise... Okay, let's go.

- Is that a real promise?
- Yes.

It's all we have.

Change clinics, it's another year.

Once more and I'll end him.

What?

Nothing, sit down.

Yeah, okay...

It's here.
The white gate here, on the right.

Ah, a nice house you paid for
with our failures.

A palace it's not.

Well, that's good.
I hate the royals, they're a waste.

You all say
there were never any failures

until all of France came to Belgium
to get inseminated.

Not my fault it takes you years
to get the laws through.

Belgium's so much further ahead.

Yeah, we're ahead.
Equal marriage, 2003.

I.V.F. for everyone, 2007.

And don't say nothing,
I'm not judging.

Of course your laws pass,
you have no government.

It's not that.
People don't take to the streets

to tell everyone they disagree.

"Oh, my rights,
my liberty, neh, neh, neh..."

So French, honestly, ugh.

I'm not the only one who thinks it.

We don't blindly follow.

- Huh?
- I'm not a fool.

Okay, you ready?

Have you already made a story up?

Let me tell it. It's important
that I remain on my pedestal... Please.

- Dad!
- Hey, hey!

Hey, hello.

Careful, careful.

Hey, come on, you little rascal.

- Who are they?
- No one, they're friends.

Mum, Dad's home.

Should we finish the game?

- Darling, I'm home!
- As am I.

- Welcome.
- Hello.

- Can I present Inès and Lucie?
- Inès, Lucie.

How nice, Inès, Lucie.

I completely forgot to say,

but I've a new program for V.I.P.'s
at the clinic.

Oh, amazing!

And how does that work?

Uh... How can I explain?

It's, uh...
It's not really straight forward.

It's, um...

It's a sort
of a platform accommodation

for the patients with residents.

- Ah, super!
- To really...

Uh, and where are they staying?

Oh, the ultra V.I.P.'s,

I thought we'd put them up
in our passion pad.

Oh, you!

- Assuming you'll have them.
- It'd be my pleasure to welcome you.

Thanks.

You made a good decision
choosing this program.

- We'll take good care of you.
- Right.

Snookums, check they have all they need
in the guestroom.

Some water, tissues,

and I'll make room,
two extra places at the table.

I hope you like chicory?

Yeah...

Make yourselves at home.
I'll be right back.

Guestroom?

"Snookums"?

Hmph.

What's chicory?

This is very pink.

Are you sleeping here?

We are.

- Can you read me a story?
- I'd love to.

What's your name?

Max.

- What's yours?
- Adrien.

Max and Adrien,
will you show me your rooms?

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Let's go!

The cheese is so good.

So, tell me about this V.I.P. program.
How does it work?

Were you inspired
by the Flemish clinic?

Ugh. No chance, no way.

Ah, sorry about him,

he's still bitter
because his right-hand man

was poached by another clinic
a few months ago.

It's a shame.
They just shit on me, you know?

But snookums,
it wasn't you that he blamed.

It's not nice, but they made him an offer
the man could not refuse.

Ugh!

- Mum, it slipped!
- Don't worry, it's okay.

Sorry, he's still learning.

I leave him to it,
so he becomes more independent.

No problem.

You could cut it for him.

No.

He needs his autonomy.

- So, the Flemish clinic...
- No, it's fucking shit... Shit!

Snookums, listen,
"Ego is not your amigo".

It's an excellent clinic.
It's Michel's main competitor.

It's good, bare minimum, but...

But how can I say, different?

Um, much less familiar.

- Much more modern.
- Ah.

Well, that's good.

How do you know that?

- Are you in the business of reproduction?
- I still talk to Charles.

- You're not serious?
- He calls begging for your pardon.

Sell-out.

Ready for more chicory?

Oh no, not after that betrayal.

- No thanks.
- No.

That's alright.
Save space, Dame Blanche for desert.

- Super!
- Dame Blanche!

Come and give me a hand, kids.

Don't even think about it.

- We're thinking about it.
- No.

- Yes.
- No, no, no, no.

It's a no categorically.

Look at this rich kid's clinic.

Money, money.
That's all they think about.

And they plant palm trees in Belgium.
Embarrassment... Pfft.

Michel!

So happy you're here.

- Ugh, don't overdo it.
- Oh, Michel...

- Welcome, ladies. Enchanté.
- Morning.

Good morning.

Still a knife in my back.

I can't even sit
on chairs with backrests.

They force it in more.

I have to sit on stools
and it's all thanks to you, eh?

- I hope you're satisfied.
- Hey...

I really regret causing this.

How's the clinic? You still king?

Oh yeah, still king.

- Flowing on the stock exchange.
- Great!

So are we, bravo!

Oh, we're... not really.

- You are?
- We are.

Uh, I'm sorry to interrupt
this very sweet reunion, but...

Yeah, sorry. Sorry.
Thanks for trusting me with your niece.

I have no choice.

We're close,
and I don't want family drama, mate.

Thanks for taking such good care of me.

Let's head in.

- Michel, are you coming?
- I'm sure you stole all my ideas.

I don't wanna see that.
I'll wait here.

Go ahead.

- Follow me.
- Hmph. "Follow me"...

I feel poor, is that normal?

The receptionist will show you
to your advisor.

Okay, thanks. Um...

Excuse me,
you don't seem to have any nurses,

white shirts, posters...

for endometriosis diagnosis,
for example.

- We avoid that atmosphere for comfort.
- Ah, it works.

I must return to the lab now.
Call me if you need me.

- Thank you very much.
- My pleasure.

Bye.

Hello, welcome.

My name is Anja,
I'll be looking after you today.

Can I take your overcoats?

- No.
- Yes.

No.

Thank you.

Can I offer you a herbal tea
with maca from Peru?

It's a root from South America,
it aids fertilisation.

Um, no for me, thanks.

- Uh, maybe later.
- Okay then.

How about a refreshing towel
infused with our very own

exclusive distilled
rose water of Damascus?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Yup... So, this is a spa.

We're in a rush. Can we speak
to who's in charge of insemination?

Yes, of course.

Follow me.

Who's this guy? My God, stop!

Hello, sir, welcome
and may I offer you a cocktail?

How indecent...

Where's the respect?

Ugh, it's crazy.

So, who will carry the child?

- It's me.
- Excellent choice.

I could've, we're the same age.

I wasn't thinking age.

Have you already taken a look
at our catalogue online?

Uh, no. We didn't know
there was a catalogue online.

No, we usually try

to find a donor
that has similar features to me.

Is that what you'd like?

Well, yeah.
Yes, for him to look like Lucie.

But he will never look like Lucie.

Babies have resembled their fathers
since time immemorial,

mostly to avoid murder.

It reassures them of their virility,
you know, my wife hasn't strayed.

But you won't kill your baby
if it doesn't look like you.

No, considering how much he's cost us.

Seeing as you have no idea
what you'd prefer,

perhaps you'd be interested
in our celebrity look alike program?

So, what's that?

We have a specialist whose job
is to match donors with celebrities.

Do you have Brad Pitt?

Huh? But why Brad Pitt?

Because you're his double.

Eh. Yeah, that is true.

- The whole...
- Yes, of course, we do have one.

Here you go.

- Sorry, but that's Brad Puked.
- Pfft, don't be cruel.

He's not a carbon copy,

but he has the same jawline
as Brad Pitt.

No, wait. We're not choosing a donor
because of his jawline.

What are we doing?

Sorry, all of this is quite new to us.

Look, why not come back to me
when you've had time to think about it?

No, listen, it's very simple...

We want a donor who's fit
and mentally healthy. No more than 6ft.

No ancestors with bad traumas
passed down from generation to generation.

Definitely not a Scorpio,
and if he's blond with blue eyes, perfect.

See, you can do it when you try.

That might be workable.

Mm.

Oh...

- He's just been purchased.
- Ah.

Now he's... He's earmarked.

He went in just five minutes.

- It's quick, isn't it?
- Yeah.

- Oh, I have the perfect one!
- Yeah?

But it's almost all gone,
he's very popular.

Look at this... His photo.

C.V., a handwritten letter,

and your child can meet him
when they're of age. Interested?

Be quick, he's available online.

We will.
We want him, of course.

Put him in the basket.
They can't have him if he's in the basket?

No, but payment first.

- He's in the basket?
- Yes, for five minutes.

Good, give me your card.

Wait a minute,
we don't know what it costs.

It's a minimum of 2 doses,
so that's 8,000.

No charge for the consultation
as you know Charles.

The insemination will be an extra 2,000,
so that'll be 10,000 in all.

- I also take cash.
- That's criminal!

That's the price of quality.

- You get what you pay for.
- I know that.

But, it's expensive.

We're doing it.

Your P.I.N., please?

- What?
- Your P.I.N.

- Is he still in the basket?
- Yes, madam.

Good.
How much time we got?

Four minutes left now.

3712.

Ah yes!

- Card's refused.
- Huh?

I thought we had enough
for another try?

Yeah.

At H&M, not at Dior.

Do something.

I'll make a call.

Is he still in the basket?

You, uh...

No, no!

- Hey, what you're doing?
- Leave me alone!

No one picked up.

- Can we pay in instalments?
- We don't do credit.

- National Health?
- Never heard of it.

- Couldn't you do anything?
- I could.

- Ah.
- I accept American Express.

Your penguin outfit

and your walkie talkie
don't allow you to mistreat me!

It's security violence!

Mr Peeters, nice to see you!

Next time,
find spies a little more convincing.

This pair don't want a child.

- But...
- Don't worry about me.

- Next time, no spies!
- Then what?

Oh, that's very well.

- You'll see...
- Excuse me.

I can be very vicious.

- Your donor has sold out.
- No!

I'm gonna finish you,
you and your shitty mafia system.

Have you gone off your head?

Did you get what you wanted?

We didn't get a thing,
it's so expensive!

Alright!
I hate you saying it's about cash.

- What's it about?
- Listen to yourself!

Making excuses,
there's always a problem!

As if it wasn't hard enough already.

Just because it's difficult,
doesn't mean we have to go for it.

This clinic is outrageous!

It's a money-making machine
that plays on people's fears

to justify its disgusting eugenics!
I'm with Mr Peeters.

I hate when you hide
behind your principles.

- You're relieved when it goes wrong.
- Rubbish!

No, you're scared.
As soon as a donor gets near, you flip.

Even a picture and C.V. are too much.

You're suffocating!

So, how did it go?
Is nature doing its work?

Nature's a bitch.

Thanks for everything,
but we have to leave.

I thought you could stay
for another meal.

Lovely thought,
but we're not hungry.

Yes, give me a hand.
You can't leave on empty stomachs.

Okay...

- So, what can I do to help you?
- I don't really care about lunch.

Here.

What's going on?

- What do you mean?
- I'm not an idiot.

My husband's been acting strange
for months.

And your wife isn't happy,
so what is it?

Nothing, we lost our donor.

What do you mean lost your donor?

Long story,
but not Mr Peeters's fault.

We thought we could replace him, but...

with the waiting lists...

- Are there issues with stock?
- Yeah.

I knew it.

Ah, Michel tells me nothing
up on his pedestal.

But I know something's not right.
He sleeps more, hardly eats...

He's so generous.
He doesn't want to let anybody down.

But without
the public authorities launching

a sperm donation campaign...

...he can't do anything.

Oh, I see.

So, what are you gonna do now?

I've no idea.

Things with Inès aren't that good.

She tells me
that I'm afraid of the donors.

- Are you really?
- Not at all.

I don't see
how they can take my place.

As for the child, I'm not sure.

It's all that she longs for.

I tell myself I don't matter anymore,

I might disappear.

Everything will be alright.

But your love will be even stronger,
trust me.

She reminds me of myself
when I was young.

I wanted a child so badly.

Come with me for a second,
I need to fetch something.

Every month,
I despaired when I got my period.

I did everything right.

The gynaecologist's tests
came back alright.

Me and Michel went at it,
if you know what I mean.

When I tried to tell him
that maybe he was the problem,

I realized
I wasn't going to get anywhere.

He just couldn't accept it.

He wouldn't be able to do his job
knowing he was infertile.

He never would've had the career
he's had.

It got really difficult.

Everything revolved around that.

Tension, deception, arguments...

I cried a lot.

I imagined I'd leave.

That's what I'm trying to avoid.

So, when a friend told me
about a place that...

helped women like me, like...

So, anyway.

That's how I knew the man
that made me a mother.

It helped me stay with Michel,
the love of my life.

Inès!

Inès.

Inès, wake up!

- Where are you going?
- Where the king goes on his own.

Sorry.

Sorry for not telling you
about the money.

Sorry for shouting at you
even though I can't earn anything.

- Your Airbnb brings in as much as me.
- Mm, sure.

But I'm tired, Lucie.

It's okay.

- I've a solution.
- Oh?

- And that is?
- See little Max and Adrien?

Mr Peeters's offered his sperm?

What's the matter with you?
Not at all!

They aren't his.

He's sterile.

Mrs Peeters told me they made them
with a sort of Robin Hood.

- Robin Hood?
- Yeah!

He took from the rich
to give to the poor.

Yeah, but he had overfilled balls.

And he gave to the desperate
for nothing.

How?

Why?

I don't know.

- To combat injustice.
- And she still knows him?

Yes, he's still doing it,
even six years older.

But he must have hundreds of children.

Who cares?
We don't live in Brussels.

We should think about this donor.

And it's okay, is it?
With your principles and ethics?

You won't do your journalist thing?

Well, I quit my job.

And I wanted to announce to you

that my principles
and ethics are no more.

So, you in?

Did anyone tell Mr Peeters?

He's freaking me out.

The thing about fathers killing
their kids is rubbish, right?

Huh?

You alright, Papa?

I'm okay.

- I love you, Son.
- I love you too, Papa.

What are you waiting for?
Go, you won't find any better!

Thanks.

Thanks.

- Okay.
- Thanks.

Excuse me.
Hi, is the classroom upstairs?

- Yeah, upstairs.
- Okay, thank you.

Look, he's over there.

- How can you tell?
- He's wearing tights.

Shoulders back.

Now, take a deep breath in.

And...

Relax.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

Namaste.

Namaste. Thank you.

- Have a good week.
- Great class.

Excuse us.

Hi.

- Hi there.
- Are you Bau?

Um, yeah.

Cool.

We've been hearing a lot about you.

That's nice.

Actually, about you're Robin Hood,

and we're poor.

Yes, very poor.

- You want a donation?
- Yeah!

Okay.

You wanna be mothers?

- Yeah.
- Amazing.

It's the most beautiful job
in the world.

- Yeah...
- It's a cliché, but it's true.

It's a lot of work.

But the emotion, ah...

It's, uh...

It's little humans
that you love, and...

It's amazing.

Uh?

'Cause they're little at the beginning,

then they grow.

It's incredible, you know?

- How's it work?
- Yeah.

Have a word with Ravi,
my assistant. Just say...

"I need an appointment, Ravi,
right now."

- The thing is, it's now a little urgent.
- Yeah, we need...

- So, you need me now?
- Mhmm.

Just go to Ravi, tell him...

"It's urgent."

You tell him...

"Hey, Ravi.

"It's urgent."

You tell him: "Ravi, now."

Yeah, okay.

Mhmm.
He's at the herbal tea bar.

- Ah, alright, amazing.
- Ah, super, okay.

- Thanks.
- No problem.

Amazing what you're doing.

Hmm.

Um, Ravi?

- Uh... Yes, he's around.
- I'm Ravi.

Oh... pardon me.

How are you doing, Ravi?

Uh, it's urgent.
We need a donation from Bau today.

Today's not possible.

- This evening?
- I can't do the evening either.

Bau is not a machine.

Yes, we know,
but he just told us okay, so could you...

Yes, but Bau says
many other things.

That's why he hired me. Um...

The earliest I can do for you

is the... 3rd of November.

You joking?

No, and I don't laugh either
unless I'm doing laughing yoga.

Bau said that it'd be alright today,
we said we're in a rush.

Well, yes,
but Bau doesn't know his agenda.

Huh? Cue me, you see?
Understand?

So, the next slot is
the 3rd of November.

And Chiron will not only be in Aries,
the moon will be in waning gibbous,

so it really is an excellent date.

We don't care!
Can't we just have a slot today?

Sorry, it's not impossible.

He's with Premium Plus members,
there's nothing to be done.

What the hell is all this rubbish
about Premium Plus?

- You have to pay, is that it?
- No, of course not, no.

With Bau, everything is for free.
But there's regulars, you understand?

Well, I wanna see Bau right now.

No, he's gone to see his parents.

He left by the personal entrance,
just missed him.

- Well, call him.
- Not possible.

Apologies, I can't.
You don't have the... privilege card,

which gives access to his number.

And what can give us this privilege?

So, I need to know
if the 3rd of November works for you

because I'm starting
to get booked up.

- Wait a minute.
- Just leave it.

- You should be ashamed.
- Uh, I don't know that emotion.

We're not leaving this.

We're scraping the barrel of humanity.

Bau was okay though?

Yeah, he was pretty nice.

Nothing's getting in the way
of our dream.

- Our dream?
- Yes, our dream.

Okay, time for some research.
I'll find his parents' address.

It won't take long.

Uh-huh.

- Oh.
- What?

Nothing, found it.

- You're ready?
- Yeah.

Let's go.

Where is it?

- In the country.
- Like a farm?

Maybe... huge farm.

It's chic for a farm.

Well, you know...

with the supports from the E.U.,
farmers get big amounts of money.

- Stop fucking with me, it's a château!
- You think?

Hi, it's Amazon. I have a parcel.

It'll be fine.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Don't let it show.

The aristocracy are like horses,
they smell the fear.

Come on, it'll be fine.

- Who are you?
- Uh...

Thanks, Leonora.
It's fine, I'll get it.

Okay, okay.
Go on, go play in the barn.

What the fuck?

We met at your studio earlier.

Why are you here?

We're here for you to donate.

Huh? No way...

You coming, Baudouin?
We're waiting...

Yes, Mum, coming.
They don't know what I do. Get out!

- Your name is Baudouin?
- Yeah.

You make children
and they don't know?

- Be quiet! Go away!
- But...

- Welcome, ladies.
- Thank you, madam.

Come on, Baudouin,
won't you introduce us?

Of course, well, hey...

Uh... Mummy...

- Nice to meet you.
- Lovely to meet you. I'm Lucie.

- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Baudouin's girlfriend.

And this is Inès, uh...

She's here visiting.
She's my cousin.

Girlfriend? Well, come in.
What are you doing there?

No, no, no.
She was just bringing me something.

Thanks, my little duckling.

Baudouin, please, that's enough of that.
Who raised you?

- Come in, ladies, please.
- Thanks.

Oh, my little duckling.
He's just a bit shy, huh?

You okay?

- Ladies...
- Oh, thank you.

It's so lovely
to have you here, Lucie.

Ah, Baudouin,
you're so secretive.

Yes, we wanted to stay discrete,
we're not married yet.

Oh, so traditional.
How very sweet!

- Are you French?
- Yes.

Ah, that's why.

So stuck in the past over there.

Royalist but don't have royals.

Mummy, you're so obsessed
with pedigree.

I am not. I am not.

Daphné, have some charcuterie.

No, stop, that's enough!

Daphné's gained five kilos
with your diet to ensure a boy.

Baudouin, you need to give me
some grandchildren.

Boys, preferably.

So, the name,
the Vieux Thiers, can continue.

She's right, Baudouin.

It's not nice to withhold grandchildren
from your mother.

Why did we invite lesbians
to Grandma's birthday?

Really, Leonora!

Wearing big shoes
doesn't make them lesbians.

- Darling?
- Yes.

- Can we speak privately?
- Yes, my little duckling.

There you go,
you're going to get your grandchildren.

I hope you like charcuterie, Lucie.

- You're insane!
- Blame your assistant.

He was a dick.
We can't wait anymore!

He keeps crazy people like you
away from me.

I'm not crazy, I'm desperate.

Does that give you the right
to turn up here, lie to my mother?

- I'm calling the police.
- Oh, come on. Please!

Mrs Peeters said
you were an exception man.

A saint.

- She said that?
- Yeah.

- She didn't say that.
- She did. I swear, she said it.

Okay, continue.

A God.
An all-powerful God.

And... ?

A galaxy. You're a galaxy. You...

- Okay?
- Well...

Yeah.

She even said, "He's God."

- She said "God"?
- Yeah. Word for word.

Well... well.

Well, but, uh...

God... Maybe.

- I am in my own way.
- That's it.

I'll do it,
but only because of Mrs Peeters.

Once it's done,
I don't want you on my property again.

Thanks.

Thank you!

So, Baudouin is in a relationship
with your cousin, huh?

- Yes.
- Hmm.

It's funny, because
Leonora has excellent gay-dar.

Haven't you, darling?

Yes, I know all the time.

What's gay-dar?

- It's a radar for gays, Papa.
- Oh, very practical!

I could very much do
with a fox-dar.

Yes, you know what a fox is
when you see a fox.

It's not trying to be a peach.

But the radar will find it.

Force it out of the forest.

Why are you all obsessed
with the gays?

On my birthday, as well.

Why not discuss the war?

You're right, let's change topics.
Baudouin is on track.

Aw. She seems nice, uh, Lucie.

A little bit small...

Ah, she's hungry.

Who wants to come
and feed the dogs with me?

- Me, me, me!
- Alright, come with me.

No, Papa.
Come on, they'll lose a hand.

Oh.

How about you?
Are you coming, Inès?

Oh, that's kind,
but I kind of need my hands.

That's a coincidence.

That's a shame.

Excuse me,
I just want to see if they need me.

- No, no, leave them be.
- Yes, you're right.

I'll just go to the bathroom.

That's good.
Leonora will show you the way.

Yeah...

A gay-dar...

It's there.

Thank you, madame.

- What is it, Leonora?
- Nothing.

She said to leave her alone
and went into the bedroom with Baudouin.

She said "three-way"
and the letters "S" and "M".

Uh, S and M or B, D, S, M?
Think, Leonora, it is important.

Oh, don't worry, darling.
I'll go and get them.

But when I return,

you'll just have to be ready
with my birthday presents and my gâteau.

Oh, God!
You drive me crazy!

You turn me on.
You're so handsome!

Oh, you're a God! Oh, yes!

Oh, that's good.
Oh, yes, I love it!

Oh, God of the universe...

- What the hell?
- Shut the door!

We got a soldier down!

Huh? Obviously.

Do you think it's that easy
to force him?

Force?

He's just stuck
because his mum's in the other room.

So, I'm just helping him.

It's because we're on Granny's bed.

Grandpa's inspecting from the wall.

You think it's easy?

It won't take long.

Okay, he does his thing,
we can just jump out the window.

Have you gone a bit mad?

His whole family is homophobic,

there are dogs downstairs,
there's rifles.

That's just bizarre.

Can you stop mentioning the family?
It's kind of not...

Okay, back to it. Um...

Um, what about porn?

Are you into pregnant women?

Disgusting!
What's your problem?

You told me
to abandon my principles.

So, it's all or nothing?
You need to take your principles back.

We've never been
this close to our goal!

It's working.
Shout at each other, it's turning me on.

- It's working.
- Shut it, you!

You lost your mind?

- It's crazy, we're stopping.
- We're not, this is our win.

No, this is everything but a win!

- It's a win.
- What will we tell this little one?

That we treated a guy
like a gross dairy cow?

No, hang on, I'm sorry.
This is bad karma for a child.

Bad karma? Says the girl
ready to sleep with a student!

Student? Oh, my!

You're so jealous!

Jealous?
You don't know how it makes me feel.

I've had enough of your moods,
your hormones!

- My hormones?
- Oh yeah!

- Baudouin?
- Ohh!

Mummy!

- Fetch a squeegee!
- Mummy!

- You killed my mother.
- She's just unconscious.

- We need a squeegee, Inès!
- Daddy, thieves!

Thieves!

Damn, Lucie!

Mummy!

Daddy! Daddy, over there!

Where are they?

- Come on!
- Can you see them?

- Fetch!
- Get them!

Fetch! Bring them back!

Get the lezzos!

So, if I've got this right,
you need a squeegee.

It's a real lovekiller your system, huh?

Get a cat to do it.

The lovekiller sacrifices
everything for someone

that cares more for a baby
that isn't here yet.

I'd think about giving the cat a try.

So...

the two crazy château girls,
you can go.

- Okay?
- Great.

Back already?
Everything go well?

- What's wrong?
- Thanks.

So, I'm just your valet now?

Great flat.
Perfect for a naughty romantic getaway.

I'll tell you why it can't work.

Because for you, it'll never work.

Because this isn't
what your parents told you.

You know,
the story of the princess.

How you were conceived
one summer under the stars.

It's not true.

Your parents are like everyone else.

They made you when drunk
in the bonnet of a shitty car.

Grow up for God's sake!

I'll stop suffocating you now.

- How are you?
- Oof.

- Would you like a White Discharge?
- Maybe a few, yeah.

Ah, thanks.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

I'm cleaning.

Sperm lives for 30 minutes.

- Don't treat me like a psychopath.
- I don't know.

No joke,
you could end up in prison.

It wasn't my fault.
Lucie respects nothing.

That's not like Lucie.

- So, you're defending her?
- I'm not.

But when you left here,
Lucie was ready to do anything.

Sorry, I'm grieving for my fairy tale,
but this war is too much.

Ah, you're driving me crazy!
Yes, it's hard. Yes, yes, it's so hard.

It's disheartening, and I don't know
how to help, but that's how it is.

In war, you don't send
your best lieutenant away.

You don't climb
without your Sherpa.

In a storm,
you don't lose your pilot.

- You made your point!
- Listen.

You're screwing up your life
for a child.

Look at yourself.

You've abandoned your social life.

Your career... Your ambition.

- You'll lose the love of your life.
- I've ruined everything.

Ah, no, no. I'm not leaving.
I'll never leave you, alright?

Stop sabotaging yourself,
and do something.

Where's the bravest girl I know?

And where'd Lucie go?

Didn't tell me.

Okay, well, where's a sad lesbian

who thinks her wife will never love her
more than a baby go?

Uh...

Sorry, excuse me, sorry.

- Hey, girl.
- Hey, she here?

Yeah, go ahead.

- You okay?
- Keep going.

Hang on,
there's too many people.

Code red.

Oh shit! Code black.

What are you doing?

- What's Lucie doing with Camilla?
- I messed up.

Otherwise, I'm still here.

Still a no, Sabine.

- Can you lower the music?
- You sure?

Yeah, I am.

Excuse me,
I want to say something.

I don't know
if there are lesbians in here.

Umm...

Okay, it's not so easy.

Umm... We break down,
then we build back up again.

But, uh, don't forget that,
all of that comes out of our amour.

And I'm telling you this because...

I love someone so much,
I'd pay any price for us to be a family.

But the system crushed us so badly,

that I forgot that before all of it,

it was love
that made us take this journey.

And...

well, that person is here tonight.

Aw!

And I want to say I'm sorry.

And since it's the two of us above all,

I wanted to ask her to marry me.

It's a yes!

Dyke drama.

The best drama.

Excuse me.

Okay. Um...

Good evening. I am, for those of you
who don't know me, William,

the best man, I guess,
and also cousin.

Uh... Lucie...

Well done.

Um... So, Lucie, Inès...

I'm really happy
to be here with you

and share this moment,
this magic, your union,

and celebrate your beautiful love,
it's not bad.

Look, Inès,
I've been very, uh, jealous of you.

Uh, jealous of your...

capacity to make decisions
that aren't easy,

to never give up
on your hopes and happiness.

Uh, jealous that... you got snatched
by the world of Queer Town.

Very jealous you found your queen

and abandoned me
as if I were an old sock.

So, make the most of every minute
of your incredible love.

Because she's... the best.

Then I stopped being jealous
when you chose to become mothers.

I wasn't jealous after that.
My jealousy became powerlessness.

Seeing you so helpless
with the waits, the bureaucracy,

or the lose-lose choices
which always depend on money.

So, jealousy became anger that I...

I couldn't help you succeed.

Then I got to help your friends
organise this wedding,

friends who made me aware

that if I wanted, I could help,

could do something.

So, anyway, we should have done this
a long time ago,

but we didn't.

But, I can donate and will donate.

Not for you.
We don't want any kids with six toes.

But the great news is that for now on,

our friends,
our best friends won't have to wait,

become skint, hope, despair,

or give everything up.

Never again.
So, uh, we're ready to help.

Beautiful.

I'll donate too.

Me too, I'll donate.

I can help too.

I can help.

I'll donate.

Hey! Me too, I'll donate.

You don't know me, but I will.

This will make a special story
to tell our child.

It'll make a good article.

To Edouard

Subtitling TITRAFILM