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1
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,419
- Oh, you two look so cute.
2
00:00:33,553 --> 00:00:35,920
What's your name?
3
00:00:37,053 --> 00:00:38,386
Why would she do that?
4
00:00:38,519 --> 00:00:40,451
- Melanie, it's Vivek.
5
00:00:40,585 --> 00:00:42,518
You came to talk to my class,
Corp Finance.
6
00:00:42,652 --> 00:00:45,185
- Right, Northwestern.
How are you?
7
00:00:45,317 --> 00:00:48,084
- Your whole talk about rising
the ranks at Myrtle & Smith,
8
00:00:48,218 --> 00:00:49,417
it really stuck with me.
9
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:50,851
- I'm so happy to hear that.
10
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,750
- Listen,
you caught vibes that day.
11
00:00:53,883 --> 00:00:55,250
I did, too.
12
00:00:55,383 --> 00:00:57,749
I got the keys
to my parents' car.
13
00:00:57,882 --> 00:00:59,949
- Excuse me?
14
00:01:00,082 --> 00:01:04,381
- I eat it all.
15
00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:06,115
- What's goin' on, Mel?
16
00:01:06,248 --> 00:01:07,748
Is he lost?
17
00:01:07,881 --> 00:01:09,814
- Plenty of room for three
in the Highlander.
18
00:01:09,947 --> 00:01:11,713
Seats fold down.
19
00:01:11,847 --> 00:01:14,281
- Is he?
Oh, gross.
20
00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:15,813
I could be your aunt.
21
00:01:15,946 --> 00:01:18,813
Wait, aren't you Bhavani's kid?
22
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,712
- Yeah, so?
23
00:01:20,846 --> 00:01:22,545
- She's my second cousin.
24
00:01:22,678 --> 00:01:25,245
I'm literally your aunt,
you sicko.
25
00:01:25,378 --> 00:01:28,211
Touch my feet.
26
00:01:28,377 --> 00:01:29,644
Touch hers, too.
27
00:01:29,777 --> 00:01:31,111
Y'all are just
getting younger and pervier.
28
00:01:31,244 --> 00:01:33,509
Scram!
29
00:01:33,643 --> 00:01:35,376
- Thanks for swooping in.
- Of course.
30
00:01:35,509 --> 00:01:36,743
Can we leave now?
31
00:01:36,876 --> 00:01:39,109
You know, Indians
make me uncomfortable.
32
00:01:39,242 --> 00:01:41,276
- Being Indian, you're gonna
have to get over that one day.
33
00:01:41,408 --> 00:01:42,575
- You know what I mean.
34
00:01:42,708 --> 00:01:44,375
We're Indian,
but this is like Indian.
35
00:01:44,508 --> 00:01:46,974
I'm not interested in being
around gossiping demon aunties
36
00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:49,008
and guessing what
uncles ate for dinner.
37
00:01:49,141 --> 00:01:50,275
- It's not that bad.
38
00:01:51,907 --> 00:01:54,373
- Aloo palak.
Yeah, that was aloo palak.
39
00:01:54,506 --> 00:01:55,840
- And you know we can't leave.
40
00:01:55,973 --> 00:01:58,206
Rishi's on his way
and I haven't seen him-
41
00:01:58,405 --> 00:01:59,939
- In a whole month.
I know.
42
00:02:00,072 --> 00:02:02,239
I've been counting down the days
till I lose you forever.
43
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,671
- I'm not going off to war.
44
00:02:03,805 --> 00:02:04,938
- But, we finally got
a chance to hang out.
45
00:02:05,071 --> 00:02:06,638
After what?
Like two years.
46
00:02:06,771 --> 00:02:08,138
Just like the old days.
47
00:02:08,272 --> 00:02:10,137
You should really reconsider
the thrupple option.
48
00:02:10,271 --> 00:02:12,870
I'd let Rishi hit it
if it meant making us work.
49
00:02:13,004 --> 00:02:15,636
Oh, this is all really
happening, huh, Melanie?
50
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,270
- I love him, Surina.
51
00:02:17,402 --> 00:02:20,003
And once we set a date,
we'll buy a place together.
52
00:02:20,136 --> 00:02:22,135
And have dinner parties.
And buy matching pajamas.
53
00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:24,035
And start our own book club.
54
00:02:24,169 --> 00:02:25,535
It'll all come together.
55
00:02:25,668 --> 00:02:27,134
- I know you're describing
what you think are
56
00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:28,834
really nice things, but I'd
rather jump off a building.
57
00:02:28,967 --> 00:02:30,767
Oh.
58
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,901
Ah shit,
Ameet's delaying my check.
59
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:34,566
- Why are you still
working for him?
60
00:02:34,699 --> 00:02:36,133
- Oh, I don't work for him.
I just do gigs kinda
61
00:02:36,267 --> 00:02:40,032
exclusively for him
for an agreed amount of money.
62
00:02:40,932 --> 00:02:43,232
- Oh God, it's Parveen Auntie.
63
00:02:43,365 --> 00:02:45,564
- You think if we just
stand still, she won't see us?
64
00:02:45,697 --> 00:02:46,931
- She's not a T-rex.
65
00:02:47,064 --> 00:02:50,364
- Beti,
I haven't seen you in ages.
66
00:02:50,464 --> 00:02:51,696
How's school, Surina?
67
00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:54,496
- I graduated eight years ago.
68
00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:56,897
- So, when's the wedding,
darling?
69
00:02:57,029 --> 00:02:58,862
- We're still figurin' out
a date.
70
00:02:58,996 --> 00:03:01,996
- Really? It's been what?
Four years?
71
00:03:02,129 --> 00:03:05,162
- One year.
We're just taking our time.
72
00:03:05,361 --> 00:03:07,461
- Well, good for you.
73
00:03:07,594 --> 00:03:09,727
All these women out there,
getting married,
74
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:12,360
having kids,
moving on in the world.
75
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,927
You have every right to do
what you want and be stuck.
76
00:03:15,059 --> 00:03:16,759
- I didn't say I was stuck.
77
00:03:16,893 --> 00:03:19,993
- You know what I mean.
Not excelling or whatnot.
78
00:03:20,126 --> 00:03:22,358
Anyway, so good to see you two.
79
00:03:22,491 --> 00:03:25,058
Good luck on the exams.
80
00:03:25,192 --> 00:03:28,357
- I want to hate her so bad, but
goddammit, she thinks I look 22.
81
00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:29,724
It's so conflicting.
82
00:03:29,857 --> 00:03:31,457
- Ah, there's my cunt�s.
83
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:33,023
- Hey Sheila.
- Hey Sheila.
84
00:03:33,157 --> 00:03:35,489
- Sorry I'm late, I had to take
Shawn Mendes for a walk.
85
00:03:35,623 --> 00:03:36,956
- Oh, that's a cute name
for a dog.
86
00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:38,389
- Dog?
87
00:03:38,523 --> 00:03:39,889
You know, I've never been
to one of these before.
88
00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:42,789
It's so cute.
It's like a little refugee camp.
89
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:45,387
- It's the first day of Diwali.
90
00:03:45,521 --> 00:03:46,954
The festival of lights.
91
00:03:47,088 --> 00:03:48,587
It's where you buy
something precious
92
00:03:48,721 --> 00:03:50,953
as a token to
the goddess Lakshmi.
93
00:03:51,087 --> 00:03:54,520
- Honey, you had me
at buy something.
94
00:03:56,353 --> 00:03:57,752
- Did you tell her
we were coming here?
95
00:03:57,886 --> 00:04:00,052
- Look, I know she's
a little off.
96
00:04:00,186 --> 00:04:01,352
- A little off?
97
00:04:01,452 --> 00:04:02,585
Do you remember
her birthday party?
98
00:04:02,719 --> 00:04:04,351
- Yeah, it was a karaoke party.
99
00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:05,451
Amazing hot wings.
100
00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:06,951
- It was a karaoke sex party.
101
00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:09,017
- Yeah, I guess it
got a little out of hand
102
00:04:09,151 --> 00:04:10,950
when she brought out the kiddie
pool full of ball gags.
103
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,184
But come on.
She seems super lonely.
104
00:04:13,350 --> 00:04:16,582
I mean, she has no one
except Shawn Mendes.
105
00:04:16,716 --> 00:04:19,183
- Is this a night light?
How fun.
106
00:04:19,349 --> 00:04:20,649
I'll catch you in a bit.
107
00:04:20,783 --> 00:04:22,348
Do you take Bitcoin?
108
00:04:22,414 --> 00:04:24,615
- Oh God, if it isn't
the two Indian girls
109
00:04:24,748 --> 00:04:26,082
with the white names.
110
00:04:26,215 --> 00:04:27,914
- Literally, the first thing
people think about
111
00:04:28,047 --> 00:04:31,413
when they hear Surina
is a famous Black tennis player.
112
00:04:31,547 --> 00:04:33,746
So, checkmate, Kavita.
113
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,579
Oh, I see your minions
are multiplying.
114
00:04:35,713 --> 00:04:38,346
- Funny.
I'm their dance teacher.
115
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,712
Oh, I hope you're not
shopping for your wedding, Mel.
116
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,845
These places don't take returns.
117
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,444
- Everyone knows Desis
don't do long engagements,
118
00:04:49,577 --> 00:04:51,343
so, something must be going on.
119
00:04:51,476 --> 00:04:52,510
- Nothing's going on.
120
00:04:52,643 --> 00:04:54,110
We're just taking our time.
121
00:04:54,244 --> 00:04:55,877
- Don't you have something
better to do like spend your
122
00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,909
dad's hotel empire money?
123
00:04:58,042 --> 00:05:00,742
- Okay, first off,
they aren't hotels.
124
00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:03,741
They're a boutique
bungalow experience.
125
00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:05,708
And second, I earn my own money.
126
00:05:05,841 --> 00:05:07,341
I'm the company's
brand ambassador.
127
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,674
- You run the TikTok page.
128
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,640
- Four million followers
and counting.
129
00:05:10,774 --> 00:05:12,040
And please tell me.
130
00:05:12,174 --> 00:05:13,874
What do you do
besides being dead weight?
131
00:05:14,007 --> 00:05:16,539
- Oh, you mean other than
railing your brother?
132
00:05:16,672 --> 00:05:17,739
- You stay away from Rahul.
133
00:05:17,873 --> 00:05:19,773
- Okay. Okay, come on, guys.
134
00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:21,205
- Word to the wise, Mel.
135
00:05:21,338 --> 00:05:22,705
Choose quality friends
136
00:05:22,838 --> 00:05:25,805
or they'll drag you
into the gutter with them.
137
00:05:30,171 --> 00:05:32,604
- I'm sorry I took
your brother's virginity.
138
00:05:32,737 --> 00:05:34,603
- God, she's so mean.
139
00:05:34,736 --> 00:05:36,103
She didn't used to be like this.
140
00:05:36,237 --> 00:05:38,170
- Yeah, being in the
Desi dance competition scene
141
00:05:38,336 --> 00:05:39,602
can ruin you.
142
00:05:39,735 --> 00:05:42,335
Remember when we almost
joined that bhangra cult?
143
00:05:42,435 --> 00:05:45,235
- Rishi!
144
00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:47,701
- Oh, I'm gonna
give you guys some time.
145
00:05:47,834 --> 00:05:48,968
I guess you should catch up
146
00:05:49,101 --> 00:05:51,399
on 401k plans
and container options.
147
00:05:51,533 --> 00:05:53,533
- Sorry I'm late, I came
straight from the airport.
148
00:05:53,666 --> 00:05:56,866
- It's okay.
I missed you so much.
149
00:05:56,999 --> 00:05:58,532
- Hey, listen,
can we have a second to talk?
150
00:05:58,665 --> 00:06:00,332
- Yeah, sure.
151
00:06:00,432 --> 00:06:02,665
But let's grab seats first.
The dances are starting.
152
00:06:02,798 --> 00:06:04,998
- Oh, yeah, sure.
153
00:06:29,594 --> 00:06:31,894
- Keep the fuck up, Preeti.
154
00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:53,224
- Yo, yo, yo.
155
00:06:53,356 --> 00:06:54,957
I know you didn't get enough
last month during Navratri,
156
00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:58,822
so, the dance floor is open
for some dandiya raas.
157
00:06:58,956 --> 00:07:01,789
- You're so quiet.
158
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,821
- I know. It's just...
159
00:07:05,387 --> 00:07:07,488
- What is it?
160
00:07:07,621 --> 00:07:10,221
- It's just that I...
No, hold on. Wait.
161
00:07:10,353 --> 00:07:12,020
- All right, come on up.
Don't be shy, don't be shy.
162
00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:14,786
Come bust a move.
It's fine.
163
00:07:14,919 --> 00:07:16,519
- Remember our couple's intake?
164
00:07:16,652 --> 00:07:18,352
We have to communicate.
165
00:07:18,486 --> 00:07:19,886
- I know.
I'm trying.
166
00:07:20,019 --> 00:07:22,852
It's just that this
isn't the most ideal setting.
167
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,785
- Radical honesty, Rishi.
168
00:07:24,918 --> 00:07:27,051
- What does that even mean?
169
00:07:27,184 --> 00:07:28,851
- It's the radical honesty sign.
170
00:07:28,984 --> 00:07:31,617
- Well, it's honestly stupid.
171
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,716
- We agreed to do this, Rishi.
172
00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:35,449
It was part of the plan.
173
00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:37,316
- That's just it.
174
00:07:37,449 --> 00:07:39,915
It's, it's your plan.
175
00:07:40,049 --> 00:07:45,014
It's always your plan.
I-I-I can't do this anymore.
176
00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:47,614
You want radical honesty, Mel?
177
00:07:47,748 --> 00:07:48,781
Here it is.
178
00:07:48,914 --> 00:07:50,048
I've been sleeping with Brandi.
179
00:07:50,181 --> 00:07:53,680
- Oh, that's messed up.
180
00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:56,480
- Your old project manager?
181
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,612
- I didn't go
on a business trip.
182
00:08:01,746 --> 00:08:05,112
I went to Bali with her.
183
00:08:05,311 --> 00:08:07,778
It was the best month
of my life.
184
00:08:07,911 --> 00:08:09,477
I'm flying out to LA
to be with her.
185
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:11,477
- Are you okay, Mel?
I know this stick isn't sharp,
186
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:15,342
but I think I can stab him in
that soft spot behind his knee.
187
00:08:15,476 --> 00:08:18,110
- I'm sorry.
188
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:21,176
- We were supposed to be
happy together!
189
00:08:22,375 --> 00:08:23,676
- Yo, yo, yo, hey.
Security to the stage,
190
00:08:23,809 --> 00:08:24,976
security to the-
191
00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:26,309
- I hate you!
You cheated on me!
192
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,641
Fuck you!
193
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,142
- Yo, we don't have security.
- Go to hell!
194
00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:31,308
- So, everybody just protect
yourselves.
195
00:08:31,408 --> 00:08:33,474
- Stop! Stop!
- Lying piece of shit.
196
00:08:33,607 --> 00:08:34,907
I hate you!
197
00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:37,041
- For the love of God.
- Hey, hey, yo, yo.
198
00:08:37,174 --> 00:08:39,439
- I hate you, you--aah!
- Stay.
199
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:20,067
Thank you, Mr. Henderson.
200
00:09:20,201 --> 00:09:23,332
I will for sure
follow-up with you.
201
00:09:28,598 --> 00:09:31,932
Happy birthday.
202
00:09:32,065 --> 00:09:33,497
- Are you sure
you don't need anything?
203
00:09:33,630 --> 00:09:37,630
I can order you lunch
or torch his clothes.
204
00:09:37,764 --> 00:09:39,296
- Thanks, but I'll pass.
205
00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:41,197
- You never let me
torch anything.
206
00:09:41,329 --> 00:09:43,696
- I can't believe he did this.
207
00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:45,762
And I assaulted him.
208
00:09:45,895 --> 00:09:47,428
- That was the best part
of the night.
209
00:09:47,562 --> 00:09:48,995
That's the Mel I love.
210
00:09:49,129 --> 00:09:51,095
Like that time when you got
dumped by that guy,
211
00:09:51,294 --> 00:09:54,095
so you dated his landlord
and increased his rent.
212
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,461
- This wasn't
supposed to happen.
213
00:09:56,593 --> 00:09:58,827
- We'll figure this out
together, okay?
214
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,226
I gotta head to Ameet's.
215
00:10:00,359 --> 00:10:03,792
Oh, by the way,
don't Google "stick girl".
216
00:10:03,926 --> 00:10:06,459
- Wait, what?
- Okay, byeeee!
217
00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:12,391
- We were supposed to be
happy together.
218
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,757
- Stop, stop, stop.
219
00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:16,191
- You fucking
lying piece of shit!
220
00:10:16,356 --> 00:10:18,690
I hate you!
You freaking idiot!
221
00:10:18,824 --> 00:10:21,255
I hate you!
You cheated on me!
222
00:10:21,389 --> 00:10:22,656
- I can explain.
223
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,855
- I know as a woman of color
224
00:10:26,988 --> 00:10:29,221
that you aren't often seen
225
00:10:29,354 --> 00:10:32,787
in the same way that I,
a cisgendered,
226
00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:36,687
heterosexual male, man.
Not mailman.
227
00:10:36,821 --> 00:10:38,353
Man, A-N.
228
00:10:38,487 --> 00:10:42,153
And I know sometimes things can
get taken out of context.
229
00:10:42,286 --> 00:10:45,885
- I will murder you.
Murder!
230
00:10:46,019 --> 00:10:48,218
- I'm sorry.
It wasn't my best moment.
231
00:10:48,351 --> 00:10:50,918
- Every moment is your moment.
232
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:56,451
Womoment.
As an ally, I see you.
233
00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:58,150
Inclusively.
234
00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:00,883
- I think you might just be
saying a lot of different words.
235
00:11:01,017 --> 00:11:03,049
- Very important words.
236
00:11:03,183 --> 00:11:04,549
I'll cut to it.
237
00:11:04,682 --> 00:11:06,649
One of our biggest clients
is coming in Monday.
238
00:11:06,782 --> 00:11:09,681
And if they saw this
wrong representation,
239
00:11:09,815 --> 00:11:11,514
they just wouldn't get it.
240
00:11:11,648 --> 00:11:15,847
White people, am I right?
Burn it down.
241
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:20,512
Just burn it down.
242
00:11:21,412 --> 00:11:24,646
I think you should
take some time to heal.
243
00:11:24,779 --> 00:11:27,278
I'll float the project to Jake.
244
00:11:27,344 --> 00:11:29,112
- So, you're taking me
off a project
245
00:11:29,278 --> 00:11:31,645
and basically
suspending me for a week?
246
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:35,510
- Think of it as an early
secular Christmas gift
247
00:11:35,644 --> 00:11:38,943
without pay.
Cool?
248
00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:40,743
- I guess so.
- Great.
249
00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:45,009
I'm really glad we were able
to hold space for that.
250
00:11:45,142 --> 00:11:47,642
And that's it.
251
00:11:50,408 --> 00:11:52,574
If you could just
close the door on your way out?
252
00:11:52,708 --> 00:11:53,908
Thanks.
253
00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:56,640
Hey, solidarity.
254
00:12:05,472 --> 00:12:09,838
- Surina, I hired you
to make a website
255
00:12:09,971 --> 00:12:11,604
and run the social media pages.
256
00:12:11,738 --> 00:12:13,371
As an entrepreneur-
- You deliver food
257
00:12:13,504 --> 00:12:15,037
for your parents' restaurant
258
00:12:15,171 --> 00:12:16,904
and sell stolen iPhones
to middle schoolers.
259
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,637
- You botched
my Diwali campaign.
260
00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:20,303
- I didn't botch anything.
The Instagram impressions were
261
00:12:20,436 --> 00:12:22,502
amazing considering how awful
the idea was.
262
00:12:22,636 --> 00:12:24,602
- David Diwali could've captured
the hearts and minds
263
00:12:24,736 --> 00:12:28,435
of this nation
if you did your job right.
264
00:12:28,568 --> 00:12:30,468
I mean, look at him.
He could've been the next
265
00:12:30,601 --> 00:12:33,134
Easter Bunny, Santa Claus,
SpongeBob even.
266
00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:35,034
- David Diwali looks like
he abducts children.
267
00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:36,634
- How dare you.
268
00:12:36,767 --> 00:12:40,100
Look, you didn't fulfill
your end of the agreement,
269
00:12:40,266 --> 00:12:41,800
so, I'm putting you on a tab.
270
00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:44,000
You'll get your paycheck once
you work off what you owe me.
271
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:45,331
- What? Screw that.
272
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,166
- No screwing, just realness.
273
00:12:47,298 --> 00:12:48,498
- You're actually being serious?
274
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:50,032
- Yeah.
275
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,698
Welcome to the school
of hard knocks, Surina.
276
00:12:51,831 --> 00:12:53,898
Dog eat dog.
No pain, no gain.
277
00:12:54,031 --> 00:12:55,165
Life takes no prisoners.
278
00:13:02,662 --> 00:13:05,295
- Take this as
a lesson in responsibility.
279
00:13:05,429 --> 00:13:08,795
Maybe it'll help you
get your shit together.
280
00:13:08,928 --> 00:13:11,628
- You're lucky
your parents make good food.
281
00:13:18,393 --> 00:13:20,826
- Clay Oven Restaurant.
This is Ameet.
282
00:13:20,959 --> 00:13:22,292
Oh, hi Auntie.
283
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:25,160
Yes, I'm doing good.
284
00:13:25,292 --> 00:13:28,291
No, no, I'm,
I'm still single.
285
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:41,690
- I hate always
waiting in line here.
286
00:13:41,823 --> 00:13:43,990
- Gilpreet's chai is like crack.
Just be cool.
287
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:47,022
- If he says something, I swear
I'm going to boycott this place.
288
00:13:47,156 --> 00:13:49,255
- Hi, Uncle Ji.
Happy Diwali.
289
00:13:49,355 --> 00:13:51,954
I hope you're having a
wonderful, blessed day.
290
00:13:52,088 --> 00:13:53,320
We'll have two chais, please.
291
00:13:53,454 --> 00:13:55,088
- We'll have two chais, please.
292
00:13:55,254 --> 00:13:57,420
Speak in Punjabi.
- We don't speak Punjabi.
293
00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:59,253
- Speak Hindi then.
Something.
294
00:13:59,353 --> 00:14:00,620
Respect the homeland.
295
00:14:00,753 --> 00:14:02,054
- Trust me,
us not speaking the language
296
00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:03,886
is respecting the homeland.
297
00:14:04,019 --> 00:14:05,819
- I survived partition for this?
298
00:14:05,952 --> 00:14:09,418
Wannabee Lindsay Lohan
and Kendall Jenner?
299
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:10,418
- Didn't realize
I ordered chai
300
00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:12,418
with a side of misogyny today.
301
00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:16,250
- Next.
302
00:14:16,316 --> 00:14:18,450
- Next time,
we boycott this place.
303
00:14:18,583 --> 00:14:20,315
There is nothing better
than a hot-ass chai
304
00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:24,616
after a long-ass day.
305
00:14:24,749 --> 00:14:27,281
- Don't hate me,
but I reached out to Rishi.
306
00:14:27,415 --> 00:14:28,882
We're gonna meet up
before his flight tomorrow.
307
00:14:29,015 --> 00:14:30,082
- What? No!
308
00:14:30,248 --> 00:14:32,049
- We have to talk this through.
309
00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:33,280
- Don't do this, Mel.
310
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,081
This is a gift from the heavens.
311
00:14:35,247 --> 00:14:36,881
Just move on like
it never happened.
312
00:14:37,014 --> 00:14:38,114
- But we worked.
313
00:14:38,247 --> 00:14:39,780
We have the same
interests and goals.
314
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,613
I mean, we both love fondue, and
we get really creative with it.
315
00:14:42,746 --> 00:14:44,378
Like last time
we got persimmons-
316
00:14:44,512 --> 00:14:46,245
- Again, I know these are being
described as nice things,
317
00:14:46,378 --> 00:14:47,745
but I will jump off a building.
318
00:14:47,879 --> 00:14:50,511
And more importantly,
he cheated on you.
319
00:14:50,644 --> 00:14:52,244
- I obviously
respect myself enough
320
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:56,045
to not go crawling back to him,
but I just,
321
00:14:56,244 --> 00:14:58,510
I need to understand
what happened.
322
00:14:58,643 --> 00:15:01,110
We can't just erase
everything we had.
323
00:15:01,243 --> 00:15:03,043
- Since you're part of the hive.
324
00:15:05,308 --> 00:15:10,241
- Here you go.
Hey, say no to drugs.
325
00:15:10,341 --> 00:15:12,241
Super fan.
326
00:15:12,341 --> 00:15:14,340
- Yeah, Sanjay, most adult men
don't gloat about
327
00:15:14,473 --> 00:15:16,273
taking pictures with young boys.
328
00:15:16,407 --> 00:15:17,874
- What can I say?
329
00:15:18,007 --> 00:15:19,774
You win one spelling bee and
you're a hero for life.
330
00:15:19,907 --> 00:15:22,839
I'm like their Lebron James.
331
00:15:22,973 --> 00:15:24,406
Nothing but vowels.
332
00:15:24,539 --> 00:15:26,538
- You just wake up in the
morning with no clue, huh?
333
00:15:26,672 --> 00:15:27,972
- Whatever.
334
00:15:28,105 --> 00:15:30,872
Um, have you all seen this?
335
00:15:31,005 --> 00:15:32,570
- ? Beat that boy with a stick,
boy ?
336
00:15:32,704 --> 00:15:34,470
? Light him up like a Bic, boy ?
337
00:15:34,604 --> 00:15:36,337
? Dang that fool was a cheat,
boy ?
338
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:38,269
? Now he gonna get de-stroyed ?
339
00:15:38,403 --> 00:15:39,903
? She's a stick girl
in a stick world ?
340
00:15:40,037 --> 00:15:41,803
? She's a stick girl
in a stick world ?
341
00:15:41,936 --> 00:15:43,236
- That's actually pretty catchy.
342
00:15:43,369 --> 00:15:44,769
I mean, I wouldn't make it
my ringtone or anything.
343
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,602
But definitely a top contender
for the workout playlist.
344
00:15:46,735 --> 00:15:47,802
- Surina.
- Sorry.
345
00:15:47,935 --> 00:15:49,468
That was an abomination.
346
00:15:49,602 --> 00:15:51,467
- You know, I heard
what Rishi did
347
00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:53,901
and maybe this is for the best.
348
00:15:54,035 --> 00:15:58,833
That big fall from grace,
so you truly appreciate
349
00:15:58,967 --> 00:16:00,366
what's right in front of you
350
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,799
like, literally in front of you.
351
00:16:04,966 --> 00:16:08,898
- At least simp
with some dignity, Jesus.
352
00:16:09,032 --> 00:16:10,331
- What am I gonna do, guys?
353
00:16:10,464 --> 00:16:11,765
- I'll tell you what
you're certainly not doing
354
00:16:11,898 --> 00:16:14,065
is brooding until you talk
with Rishi tomorrow.
355
00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:15,664
This is Diwali.
356
00:16:15,797 --> 00:16:20,562
I propose a full weekend
social banger extravaganza.
357
00:16:20,696 --> 00:16:22,229
- That sounds like
way too many words.
358
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:23,596
- They're all equally important.
359
00:16:23,729 --> 00:16:25,229
- No, I'm just gonna stay home
360
00:16:25,295 --> 00:16:26,928
and crawl under
my weighted blanket.
361
00:16:27,062 --> 00:16:28,294
- Oh, I totally get it.
362
00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:29,762
It does wonders
for the nervous system.
363
00:16:29,895 --> 00:16:31,428
- No one cares,
Friendzone Freddy.
364
00:16:31,561 --> 00:16:32,727
Just give me the weekend, Mel.
365
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,394
You gotta release
all this energy
366
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,627
and bring back that bad bitch
I once knew.
367
00:16:36,761 --> 00:16:40,259
And you can only do that by
getting intensely hammered.
368
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,225
Look...
- Yeah.
369
00:16:45,358 --> 00:16:47,525
- Whatever happens with Rishi,
happens.
370
00:16:47,659 --> 00:16:49,325
But the only way you're
gonna find closure in this
371
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:51,290
is with a big ol' Rishi purge.
372
00:16:51,424 --> 00:16:54,324
You know, wash that mofo
out of your soul.
373
00:16:54,457 --> 00:16:56,223
- I just miss him.
374
00:16:56,323 --> 00:16:57,490
- I get that.
375
00:16:57,623 --> 00:17:01,857
But weekend social banger
extravaganza.
376
00:17:01,990 --> 00:17:04,722
Weekend social banger
extravaganza.
377
00:17:04,856 --> 00:17:06,956
Weekend social
banger extravaganza!!!
378
00:17:07,089 --> 00:17:08,254
- Okay.
- Yes!
379
00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:12,221
- Oh, it's Sheila.
380
00:17:12,354 --> 00:17:14,253
She's asking if we're
going to her thing tonight.
381
00:17:14,387 --> 00:17:15,553
- We're not going.
382
00:17:15,687 --> 00:17:16,987
And more importantly,
she's crazy.
383
00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:18,054
- Kismet.
Tell her we'll be there.
384
00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:19,520
- Absolutely not.
385
00:17:19,654 --> 00:17:21,020
- Uh-uh, we're jumping
out of that comfort zone.
386
00:17:21,219 --> 00:17:23,419
Embrace it, Mel.
Two chais to go!
387
00:17:23,552 --> 00:17:26,284
- Get the hell out of my store!
- Okay!
388
00:17:30,052 --> 00:17:32,350
- It's like everywhere you go,
Christmas,
389
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,317
it's just in your face.
390
00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:36,517
It's like capitalism
on steroids.
391
00:17:36,651 --> 00:17:39,050
Is anyone even
celebrating Diwali right now?
392
00:17:39,216 --> 00:17:41,349
It's only celebrated by about
a billion people.
393
00:17:41,483 --> 00:17:43,516
- Exactly. Yes.
394
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:46,448
- That's why I appreciate
Indian culture so much.
395
00:17:46,582 --> 00:17:50,714
You all just have this
natural spiritually, you know?
396
00:17:50,848 --> 00:17:54,247
You're just so connected
with the earth.
397
00:17:54,381 --> 00:17:56,947
- And there it is.
- There it is.
398
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,080
- Excuse us.
399
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,412
- You heard the lady.
Beat it.
400
00:18:02,545 --> 00:18:06,445
- Wait. Scripps National
Spelling Bee champ '04?
401
00:18:06,579 --> 00:18:10,211
Oh, you killed "insouciant".
Can I get a picture?
402
00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:13,378
- Well, since you're
part of the hive.
403
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,543
- Buzz, buzz.
- Buzz, buzz.
404
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:16,910
- Look, this is just a primer.
405
00:18:17,044 --> 00:18:18,410
I promise you
things will get better.
406
00:18:18,543 --> 00:18:20,776
Weekend social banger
extravaganza.
407
00:18:22,743 --> 00:18:24,643
- Who let the hos out?
408
00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:28,009
Terrible news about Rafiki.
- Rishi.
409
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:31,975
- What did I say?
Bit of advice, vaginoplasty.
410
00:18:32,108 --> 00:18:33,540
- What?
411
00:18:33,674 --> 00:18:35,774
- No one wants a loose,
sloppy vagina, Melanie.
412
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:38,239
Flapping around
like a lost sailboat at sea.
413
00:18:38,373 --> 00:18:41,040
Ew, mayday.
414
00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:42,840
- Kavita's here?
- I know, right?
415
00:18:42,973 --> 00:18:45,238
I hate that bitch, I don't
know why she's even here.
416
00:18:45,372 --> 00:18:46,805
I love her, though.
417
00:18:46,939 --> 00:18:48,739
I can't wait to go to her
Diwali party tomorrow night.
418
00:18:48,872 --> 00:18:50,006
- Wait, what?
419
00:18:50,204 --> 00:18:51,771
- Diwali is the
festival of lights.
420
00:18:51,904 --> 00:18:53,537
It's celebrated
over the course of five days,
421
00:18:53,671 --> 00:18:55,471
something about a goddess--
- I know what Diwali is.
422
00:18:55,604 --> 00:18:57,203
I told you what Diwali is.
423
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,603
Kavita's having
a party tomorrow?
424
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,336
- Yeah, why else
would she invite me?
425
00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:02,502
- Sheila, we didn't get invited.
426
00:19:02,636 --> 00:19:04,369
- Why didn't you just say that?
427
00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:08,201
It's 2021, you gotta use your
me too big-girl words, honey.
428
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:09,801
- Who cares.
429
00:19:09,935 --> 00:19:11,768
She's a total bitch and her
party will suck balls.
430
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,034
- I know but the principle.
She probably invited Rishi.
431
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,634
- Rafiki.
432
00:19:15,767 --> 00:19:18,467
That is odd that you didn't
get an invite, though.
433
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,834
I mean,
all the browns are going.
434
00:19:19,967 --> 00:19:22,599
It's gonna be
the event of the year.
435
00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:25,733
Oh, for the love of God,
Shawn Mendes.
436
00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:29,198
No, that will stain.
Use seltzer!
437
00:19:29,264 --> 00:19:31,198
- That's not Shawn Mendes.
438
00:19:31,331 --> 00:19:32,697
- Shawn Mendes, uh,
439
00:19:32,831 --> 00:19:35,197
son of the billionaire
Venezuelan oil tycoon?
440
00:19:35,330 --> 00:19:38,030
I think I know who
Shawn Mendes is.
441
00:19:42,563 --> 00:19:46,695
Don't forget your gift bags.
442
00:19:46,829 --> 00:19:50,361
- A few shots and we're gone.
I promise.
443
00:19:52,728 --> 00:19:55,461
- Thirty-five carats
cut to perfection.
444
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,593
Mined in Kolkata.
445
00:19:58,727 --> 00:20:00,126
Do you know it took me
almost a decade
446
00:20:00,259 --> 00:20:02,093
to get my hands on this one?
447
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,125
- It's gorgeous.
448
00:20:06,258 --> 00:20:08,591
- It's more than gorgeous.
449
00:20:08,725 --> 00:20:12,591
I'd let it slowly penetrate me
to R&B music.
450
00:20:12,725 --> 00:20:14,890
- That feels like a lot.
451
00:20:15,024 --> 00:20:18,457
- So, Montecito's men
will be with you shortly.
452
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:20,456
Be discreet, all right?
453
00:20:20,589 --> 00:20:21,956
Make it a clean transaction.
454
00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:25,489
Bring the suitcase of money
to the office, okay?
455
00:20:25,623 --> 00:20:26,855
- I won't let you down, Percy.
456
00:20:26,989 --> 00:20:29,989
- Don't use my name.
Or yours, you idiot.
457
00:20:30,121 --> 00:20:33,887
Just talk in codes or something,
Jesus.
458
00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:44,785
- My nose is real but tell
everyone it's fake.
459
00:20:46,485 --> 00:20:47,919
- There you go.
460
00:20:48,052 --> 00:20:49,118
- Thanks, Kal Penn.
461
00:20:49,251 --> 00:20:51,085
- Oh, just Kal is fine.
462
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,217
You doing okay?
You're on your third one.
463
00:20:53,351 --> 00:20:55,651
- It's just been a long week.
464
00:20:55,784 --> 00:20:56,984
I didn't know you bartended.
465
00:20:57,116 --> 00:20:59,249
- Oh, this is just to prep
for a role.
466
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:02,616
You know, I try to embody
the characters that I'm playing.
467
00:21:02,749 --> 00:21:04,248
It's a thing that actors
do all the time.
468
00:21:04,382 --> 00:21:06,515
So today I am a bartender.
469
00:21:06,649 --> 00:21:08,481
You know Emma Stone
was checking IDs last week
470
00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:09,681
to prep for some role she had.
471
00:21:09,815 --> 00:21:11,247
You know Betty White?
472
00:21:11,381 --> 00:21:13,481
Like a month ago, she was siting
exactly where you were
473
00:21:13,615 --> 00:21:15,547
just getting completely
shit house hammered
474
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,614
on Japanese whiskey
and Hot Pockets.
475
00:21:18,747 --> 00:21:20,846
- That's a lot.
476
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:23,546
Wait, so is that
Tituss Burgess prepping?
477
00:21:23,679 --> 00:21:24,913
Let me guess.
478
00:21:25,046 --> 00:21:27,178
He's playing a
mysterious loner who was
479
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,079
at the top of his game only
to take a turn for the worst.
480
00:21:30,211 --> 00:21:32,644
- No, he's not prepping, Mel.
481
00:21:32,777 --> 00:21:34,577
- What do you want from me?
482
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:37,177
I can't be fabulous
all the time.
483
00:21:37,243 --> 00:21:39,010
It's always like, Tituss, what
are you wearing?
484
00:21:39,176 --> 00:21:41,010
Tituss, be the life
of the party.
485
00:21:41,176 --> 00:21:42,776
I mean, here I am
having a damn Bahama Mama
486
00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:45,342
in these ill-fitted pants
and I'm proud of it.
487
00:21:45,475 --> 00:21:48,609
- I'm so sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
488
00:21:48,742 --> 00:21:50,441
You don't get to apologize.
489
00:21:50,574 --> 00:21:56,540
You beautiful,
beautiful woman person.
490
00:21:57,707 --> 00:22:00,173
Kal, put this on her tab.
491
00:22:00,273 --> 00:22:04,973
And no one, no one should be
allowed to have hair that silky!
492
00:22:09,072 --> 00:22:10,404
- Well, it was good to see you,
Mel.
493
00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:13,571
I've got to go to a meat plant.
494
00:22:13,705 --> 00:22:17,870
God, it's a complicated role.
495
00:22:19,869 --> 00:22:22,536
- Did the bartender just leave?
496
00:22:22,669 --> 00:22:24,970
- Yeah.
Do you want this?
497
00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:26,234
I didn't touch it.
498
00:22:26,368 --> 00:22:30,501
- Yeah, I hate to waste
free booze.
499
00:22:32,534 --> 00:22:35,801
- Oh, geez, wow.
500
00:22:35,934 --> 00:22:41,166
- Well, hard times
call for hard solutions.
501
00:22:41,266 --> 00:22:43,333
I'm Melanie.
502
00:22:43,466 --> 00:22:45,365
- I'm Drake Doolittle.
503
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:46,699
- Your name is
Drake Doolittle?
504
00:22:46,832 --> 00:22:48,498
- Drake Doolittle, yeah.
505
00:22:48,632 --> 00:22:53,965
It's part French
and uh, lower Italian.
506
00:22:56,597 --> 00:22:59,163
Excuse me.
Be right back.
507
00:22:59,263 --> 00:23:01,163
- Okay.
508
00:23:01,263 --> 00:23:04,696
- Who is he?
Hit it, uh, uh, uh.
509
00:23:04,829 --> 00:23:06,596
- I don't know.
I just met him.
510
00:23:06,729 --> 00:23:08,561
I'm not gonna sleep with anyone.
511
00:23:08,695 --> 00:23:10,394
- Here, you can do it
behind my coat.
512
00:23:10,528 --> 00:23:12,161
No one will see.
513
00:23:12,261 --> 00:23:13,561
It has pockets.
514
00:23:13,695 --> 00:23:16,627
- Surina, Rishi and I, we're...
515
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:17,927
We need to figure it out.
516
00:23:18,061 --> 00:23:19,694
- Oh, so as you are
figuring it out,
517
00:23:19,826 --> 00:23:21,392
Rishi gets to stick his dick
into other girls,
518
00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:24,359
but how come you can't
get to stick your dick in...
519
00:23:24,492 --> 00:23:26,158
You know what I mean.
520
00:23:28,959 --> 00:23:31,358
- Yeah, so the deal's gone bad.
521
00:23:31,491 --> 00:23:34,390
They don't know what you look
like, so get out of there.
522
00:23:34,524 --> 00:23:35,924
- Wait, it can happen that fast?
523
00:23:36,058 --> 00:23:37,890
- Yeah, I decided that
I'd rather keep the diamond.
524
00:23:38,023 --> 00:23:39,723
But hurry, they're basically
525
00:23:39,856 --> 00:23:42,957
looking for any guy
by themselves.
526
00:23:43,156 --> 00:23:45,188
- Dammit.
527
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:52,154
- Hot guy coming.
528
00:23:52,287 --> 00:23:54,521
So, Mel is a huge catch
and she's been in this
529
00:23:54,654 --> 00:23:56,753
shitty relationship
for like a billion years.
530
00:23:56,887 --> 00:23:59,219
So, she's looking for some
no strings attached action.
531
00:23:59,353 --> 00:24:00,987
Also, she's getting
her vag tightened.
532
00:24:01,153 --> 00:24:03,152
It won't flap around
like a lost sailboat at sea.
533
00:24:03,218 --> 00:24:04,352
- Surina.
534
00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:05,752
- That is a fantastic idea.
- What?
535
00:24:05,886 --> 00:24:07,519
- Yeah, let's do it.
Off we go.
536
00:24:07,652 --> 00:24:09,217
- You have an accent?
That's so hot.
537
00:24:09,351 --> 00:24:11,651
Say crikey,
where'd me kangaroo go?
538
00:24:11,785 --> 00:24:14,417
- Yeah, we have gotta go.
Come on, off we go.
539
00:24:14,550 --> 00:24:15,750
- Where are we going?
540
00:24:15,884 --> 00:24:17,717
- Oh, don't forget
your gift bags.
541
00:24:17,850 --> 00:24:20,182
- Wait, who the hell
is that guy?
542
00:24:20,316 --> 00:24:22,016
- Not you.
543
00:24:25,915 --> 00:24:29,148
- What are you doing?
- Security check.
544
00:24:34,781 --> 00:24:36,847
You're fine.
545
00:24:37,447 --> 00:24:39,179
- What was that about?
546
00:24:41,846 --> 00:24:43,379
It's cold out here.
547
00:24:43,513 --> 00:24:45,545
Listen, you can't just
drag me around like a rag doll.
548
00:24:45,679 --> 00:24:47,211
- Type your number in.
- Yes, daddy.
549
00:24:47,345 --> 00:24:48,812
No, wait, I'm in a relationship.
550
00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:50,578
Sort of.
It's complicated.
551
00:24:50,711 --> 00:24:53,144
We can't do this.
I didn't wax.
552
00:25:01,743 --> 00:25:04,143
- I'm gonna call you
very, very soon
553
00:25:04,276 --> 00:25:07,610
because you have
something special that I need.
554
00:25:07,742 --> 00:25:11,009
You got it?
555
00:25:13,741 --> 00:25:15,141
- I haven't done this
in three years.
556
00:25:15,207 --> 00:25:18,341
Is this flirting?
Did you just turn me down?
557
00:25:18,474 --> 00:25:22,240
It's very difficult to make
sense out of this situation.
558
00:25:23,273 --> 00:25:25,140
Call me.
559
00:25:32,338 --> 00:25:34,672
- Oh, back already?
560
00:25:34,805 --> 00:25:36,505
The hot ones
are always minute men.
561
00:25:36,638 --> 00:25:38,203
All good.
We'll find another.
562
00:25:38,337 --> 00:25:40,537
- Do you know what?
Let's get drunk.
563
00:25:40,671 --> 00:25:42,537
- Yeah!
564
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,793
- Shit.
565
00:26:55,492 --> 00:26:56,524
Surina, wake up.
566
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,291
- No, Frosty, the buttons.
567
00:26:58,424 --> 00:27:01,257
They're sewing them
on to your skin.
568
00:27:01,391 --> 00:27:02,823
Ow, what?
569
00:27:02,957 --> 00:27:05,957
- I'm supposed to meet Rishi.
570
00:27:07,123 --> 00:27:11,556
- Oh, weekend social
banger extravaganza!
571
00:27:11,689 --> 00:27:14,755
Let's go, Diwali!
572
00:27:14,888 --> 00:27:17,121
- Anyone want an omelette?
Frittata?
573
00:27:25,220 --> 00:27:26,953
Who the hell is that?
- Oh, Jerry.
574
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:31,020
Met him at the bar.
575
00:27:31,152 --> 00:27:33,418
- I hope you guys
like scrambled.
576
00:27:33,552 --> 00:27:37,184
- Prince Charles is easier
to get ahold of than you two.
577
00:27:37,318 --> 00:27:39,918
So, this is how the 99% lives.
578
00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:42,183
- Sheila,
what are you doing here?
579
00:27:42,317 --> 00:27:45,950
- There is a pressing matter
that we need to resolve at once.
580
00:27:46,116 --> 00:27:47,583
Kavita didn't get her gift bag.
581
00:27:47,716 --> 00:27:48,883
- We didn't take her gift bag.
582
00:27:49,017 --> 00:27:50,215
Did you take her gift bag?
583
00:27:50,348 --> 00:27:51,315
- Gift bags are
for deserving people.
584
00:27:51,448 --> 00:27:52,649
That's all I'm gonna say.
585
00:27:52,782 --> 00:27:54,215
- Okay, great.
Check that off the list.
586
00:27:54,348 --> 00:27:56,447
One more thing, all of your
lives are in grave danger.
587
00:27:56,581 --> 00:27:57,881
- What?
- What?
588
00:27:58,114 --> 00:27:59,514
- My ex, not the last one,
but the one before
589
00:27:59,648 --> 00:28:01,114
the one before that.
590
00:28:01,247 --> 00:28:02,813
- Oh, you mean the 96-year-old
you married for money?
591
00:28:02,947 --> 00:28:04,313
- I loved Archibald
592
00:28:04,446 --> 00:28:05,947
and those were the best
32 days of my life.
593
00:28:06,113 --> 00:28:07,446
I'm talking about my ex, Percy.
594
00:28:07,579 --> 00:28:09,379
- Is he on his deathbed too?
- Do you kiss your mother
595
00:28:09,512 --> 00:28:11,579
with that filthy,
sarcastic whore mouth?
596
00:28:11,712 --> 00:28:14,012
Ah, let me just show you.
597
00:28:19,244 --> 00:28:20,377
Him.
598
00:28:20,510 --> 00:28:23,176
He owns a small
blood diamond operation.
599
00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:25,110
I let him use my bar
as the drop-off spot
600
00:28:25,210 --> 00:28:26,910
and well, the deal went bad.
601
00:28:27,109 --> 00:28:28,676
- Blood diamond operation?
602
00:28:28,809 --> 00:28:29,776
You've got to be kidding me.
603
00:28:29,910 --> 00:28:31,475
- And what does bad mean?
604
00:28:31,608 --> 00:28:33,341
- Wait, that's the guy
who was hitting on me.
605
00:28:33,475 --> 00:28:34,475
Drake Doolittle.
606
00:28:34,608 --> 00:28:35,875
- That's seriously his name?
607
00:28:36,009 --> 00:28:37,408
- Yeah, he's part French,
part lower Italian.
608
00:28:37,541 --> 00:28:39,741
- Mm, so much better
than upper Italian.
609
00:28:39,874 --> 00:28:41,841
Do not let those people
in this country.
610
00:28:41,974 --> 00:28:43,340
- He was using me
as some sort of decoy?
611
00:28:43,473 --> 00:28:45,606
- Obviously.
His name is Daniel
612
00:28:45,740 --> 00:28:48,106
and he put a 35-carat diamond
in your gift bag.
613
00:28:48,172 --> 00:28:49,772
And now all your lives are in
danger.
614
00:28:49,906 --> 00:28:51,205
- Wait, hold up.
615
00:28:51,338 --> 00:28:53,839
So that catch of a lifetime
put a diamond
616
00:28:53,972 --> 00:28:55,305
in Mel's gift bag?
617
00:28:55,437 --> 00:28:57,871
So, a big-ass diamond
probably worth millions
618
00:28:58,104 --> 00:28:59,571
is in this apartment right now?
619
00:28:59,704 --> 00:29:01,104
- Twelve million, but yes.
620
00:29:01,204 --> 00:29:03,937
- Holy shit.
Let's not give it back.
621
00:29:04,103 --> 00:29:05,904
- A person once
put one over on Percy,
622
00:29:06,103 --> 00:29:08,135
and well,
he scooped his eyeballs out
623
00:29:08,269 --> 00:29:10,235
and served it to him
on an ice cream cone.
624
00:29:10,369 --> 00:29:11,435
- Let's definitely give it back.
625
00:29:11,569 --> 00:29:12,836
- Mm...
- Mm...
626
00:29:12,969 --> 00:29:14,134
Where's the gift bags?
627
00:29:14,268 --> 00:29:15,268
You put them right here.
628
00:29:15,401 --> 00:29:16,968
Sunjay, do you have the bags?
629
00:29:17,101 --> 00:29:19,934
- Hold your horses.
Breakfast is almost ready.
630
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:23,200
- No, no, no, no, no.
Ameet.
631
00:29:23,333 --> 00:29:25,166
- Oh yeah, Ameet came over.
632
00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:28,099
We ordered Indian food from his
parent's place last night.
633
00:29:28,165 --> 00:29:30,099
Oh, should I
make pancakes instead?
634
00:29:30,165 --> 00:29:32,098
- Wait, Ameet has the diamond?
635
00:29:32,231 --> 00:29:34,265
That idiot you work for?
- Do gigs for.
636
00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:36,365
- So, what should I
tell Percy then?
637
00:29:36,498 --> 00:29:37,964
- Why? Is he on the phone
right now?
638
00:29:38,097 --> 00:29:39,564
- I don't like texting.
639
00:29:39,697 --> 00:29:43,130
It makes my fingers wrinkly,
and I just got them Botoxed.
640
00:29:43,264 --> 00:29:44,696
Well, that was rude.
641
00:29:44,830 --> 00:29:46,630
- I don't want my eyes scooped.
I like my eyes.
642
00:29:46,763 --> 00:29:48,930
It's one of my best features
next to my cheekbones.
643
00:29:49,096 --> 00:29:50,462
- Really?
I'd rate cheekbones first.
644
00:29:50,595 --> 00:29:51,996
Look, you're not gonna
get scoopy-eyed.
645
00:29:52,128 --> 00:29:53,362
I can fix this.
646
00:29:53,495 --> 00:29:54,996
We go to Ameet's,
get the bags, and done.
647
00:29:55,128 --> 00:29:56,528
- Oh, perfect.
648
00:29:56,661 --> 00:29:58,427
- Ah, but wait, Sheila.
You're on the hook too.
649
00:29:58,561 --> 00:30:01,360
If we can't fix this, Percy
will probably scoopy-eye you.
650
00:30:01,493 --> 00:30:03,627
- He wouldn't dare
scoopy-eye me.
651
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,126
No one scoopy-eyes Sheila.
652
00:30:05,260 --> 00:30:07,026
If anything, I'm the one
that does the scoopy-eying.
653
00:30:07,159 --> 00:30:08,826
- Why don't you call
and ask him?
654
00:30:08,959 --> 00:30:10,559
- Hmm.
655
00:30:10,692 --> 00:30:13,458
- So, we do this, and you get us
into Kavita's Diwali party.
656
00:30:13,591 --> 00:30:15,858
- Are you seriously
bargaining over possible death?
657
00:30:15,992 --> 00:30:19,224
- Look, I hate that bitch, but
it's the party of a lifetime.
658
00:30:19,357 --> 00:30:21,957
Weekend social banger
extravaganza.
659
00:30:32,488 --> 00:30:34,989
- Well played, Surina.
Well played.
660
00:30:35,121 --> 00:30:36,522
It's a deal.
661
00:30:36,655 --> 00:30:38,287
- I still have to meet Rishi
before he flies out.
662
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:39,854
- We'll find the diamond,
meet up with Rishi,
663
00:30:39,988 --> 00:30:42,020
crash Kavita's party.
Boom, figured out.
664
00:30:42,153 --> 00:30:43,153
- Oh, this is fun.
665
00:30:43,287 --> 00:30:44,620
It's like "Lord of the Rings".
666
00:30:44,753 --> 00:30:46,086
I'm the beautiful elf princess
667
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:47,820
and you're my trusty,
hairy hobbits.
668
00:30:49,119 --> 00:30:52,051
Come on, Frodo.
669
00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:56,751
- Hey, are you sure about this?
670
00:30:56,885 --> 00:30:59,150
- When have I ever let you down?
671
00:30:59,284 --> 00:31:01,483
- Third grade, Mrs. Finney's
class when you said to jump
672
00:31:01,617 --> 00:31:04,149
from the jungle gym on three
and you chickened out.
673
00:31:04,283 --> 00:31:06,550
- And that day you learned
you're much braver than I am.
674
00:31:06,683 --> 00:31:08,916
You're welcome.
- When you totaled my car
675
00:31:09,082 --> 00:31:10,983
and my parents grounded me
for six months.
676
00:31:11,115 --> 00:31:13,082
- Which made you anti-social,
only study,
677
00:31:13,148 --> 00:31:16,081
and landed you
a full ride at Harvard.
678
00:31:16,147 --> 00:31:18,147
Come on, girl.
Through everything,
679
00:31:18,281 --> 00:31:20,680
I've always had your back.
680
00:31:20,814 --> 00:31:22,080
Trust me.
681
00:31:23,146 --> 00:31:24,380
- Oh, should I wear the new-
682
00:31:24,514 --> 00:31:26,079
- Pants, pants with the mm top?
- Mm top?
683
00:31:26,212 --> 00:31:28,112
- Yeah.
- Yes.
684
00:31:28,246 --> 00:31:29,713
Come on, Jerry.
685
00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:31,912
- Dope.
686
00:31:38,811 --> 00:31:41,077
- So let me get this straight.
687
00:31:41,210 --> 00:31:45,343
You have no idea
where the diamond is?
688
00:31:45,476 --> 00:31:48,576
A $12 million diamond,
that personally,
689
00:31:48,710 --> 00:31:52,775
I would let caress my insides.
690
00:31:52,909 --> 00:31:53,942
- I can find it.
691
00:31:54,075 --> 00:31:55,474
I just need a little more time.
692
00:31:55,608 --> 00:31:58,074
- Oh, Danny boy.
693
00:31:58,207 --> 00:32:00,474
I brought you on
to make my life easier,
694
00:32:00,608 --> 00:32:03,840
not to create
a bloody train wreck.
695
00:32:03,974 --> 00:32:06,073
Don't get me wrong.
I like you.
696
00:32:06,139 --> 00:32:07,606
I do!
697
00:32:07,739 --> 00:32:13,072
Yeah, I mean, you come highly,
highly recommended.
698
00:32:13,205 --> 00:32:15,471
- I will find it.
699
00:32:15,605 --> 00:32:18,071
I don't want to end up
like George.
700
00:32:18,204 --> 00:32:19,437
- What do you mean?
701
00:32:19,570 --> 00:32:23,904
- Ice cream scooped.
You scoopy-eyed him.
702
00:32:24,070 --> 00:32:26,202
- Whoops.
703
00:32:26,336 --> 00:32:30,669
So, George has a congenital
birth condition.
704
00:32:30,803 --> 00:32:32,435
Yeah.
705
00:32:32,568 --> 00:32:33,969
You've got to be more sensitive
in the workplace, all right?
706
00:32:34,101 --> 00:32:36,435
Not this ableist arsehole.
707
00:32:36,568 --> 00:32:38,901
We had the whole HR meeting
and everything.
708
00:32:39,067 --> 00:32:41,634
- Yeah, yeah, look,
I have her number.
709
00:32:41,767 --> 00:32:42,834
- Oh.
710
00:32:42,968 --> 00:32:44,733
- We can track her.
711
00:32:44,867 --> 00:32:47,132
- There you go.
Perfect.
712
00:32:49,365 --> 00:32:52,565
Handle this.
- Okay.
713
00:32:52,699 --> 00:32:58,064
- I wouldn't want you
to end up like Herman.
714
00:32:59,464 --> 00:33:01,396
- Those bags are sold-a-mundo.
Every last thing in them.
715
00:33:01,530 --> 00:33:03,230
- You're kidding?
- Oh, I thought you'd be happy.
716
00:33:03,363 --> 00:33:05,063
Your tab is cleared
and then some.
717
00:33:05,196 --> 00:33:06,063
I mean,
those bags were incredible.
718
00:33:06,196 --> 00:33:07,729
Tiffany bracelet, Chanel wallet.
719
00:33:07,863 --> 00:33:09,562
- Oh, honey,
those bags were trash compared
720
00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:10,829
to my next party.
721
00:33:10,963 --> 00:33:12,629
You should come.
722
00:33:12,762 --> 00:33:14,661
- I'm Ameet.
- Sheila.
723
00:33:14,795 --> 00:33:16,761
The party's gonna be
catered by St Laurent.
724
00:33:16,895 --> 00:33:18,228
They do food now.
725
00:33:18,361 --> 00:33:20,193
- Wow.
- Who bought the bags, Ameet?
726
00:33:20,327 --> 00:33:23,093
- Ameet Corp LLC has a strict
confidentiality policy
727
00:33:23,227 --> 00:33:26,092
and uh, I'm not gonna
violate it for you.
728
00:33:28,125 --> 00:33:29,159
- Tell us who bought them.
729
00:33:29,292 --> 00:33:32,492
- I knew this day would come.
730
00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:35,525
Ah, the tension between us
is so thick.
731
00:33:38,290 --> 00:33:39,357
Why would you do that?
732
00:33:41,257 --> 00:33:42,757
Please stop.
Jesus Christ, okay.
733
00:33:42,891 --> 00:33:45,223
I gave it to this couple, the
Mittals, I owed them money.
734
00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:47,056
- You owe them money?
You owe me money.
735
00:33:47,122 --> 00:33:48,490
- I know the Mittals.
736
00:33:48,623 --> 00:33:50,655
They run that trendy,
sustainable clothing line.
737
00:33:50,789 --> 00:33:52,222
Which I do not understand.
738
00:33:52,355 --> 00:33:54,222
Why would you wear clothes
more than once?
739
00:33:54,355 --> 00:33:57,221
- I'll tell.
6530 North Sedgewick Street.
740
00:33:57,354 --> 00:34:00,654
- We can pick up the L
around the corner.
741
00:34:03,653 --> 00:34:06,687
- Hey, I'm coming back
for my money.
742
00:34:06,820 --> 00:34:08,486
- Bye, Melanie.
743
00:34:14,952 --> 00:34:17,451
- People actually use this?
744
00:34:17,585 --> 00:34:20,050
- You've seriously
never been on the L?
745
00:34:20,116 --> 00:34:21,684
- In a nightmare once.
746
00:34:21,817 --> 00:34:23,183
Judi Dench was there too.
747
00:34:23,317 --> 00:34:27,449
She wouldn't stop
giving me marigolds.
748
00:34:30,516 --> 00:34:32,281
You know I'd be willing
to take you on.
749
00:34:32,415 --> 00:34:34,849
- What?
- For as long as I've known you,
750
00:34:35,048 --> 00:34:36,315
you've been into Melanie.
751
00:34:36,448 --> 00:34:38,647
Why haven't you
asked her out yet?
752
00:34:38,781 --> 00:34:41,447
- I don't know.
I've tried, but...
753
00:34:41,581 --> 00:34:44,913
she just sees me as this little-
- Bitch?
754
00:34:45,046 --> 00:34:46,580
- I was gonna say brother.
755
00:34:46,713 --> 00:34:49,512
- But bitch is probably
more appropriate.
756
00:34:49,645 --> 00:34:50,712
- A little rude.
757
00:34:50,846 --> 00:34:53,178
- I can help you.
- Really?
758
00:34:53,312 --> 00:34:56,544
- Listen, I'm no miracle worker.
759
00:34:59,044 --> 00:35:01,810
- But?
- No, that's it.
760
00:35:01,944 --> 00:35:03,543
- Oh.
761
00:35:03,677 --> 00:35:06,176
- So, we get to the Mittals,
and then we're going to Rishi's.
762
00:35:06,310 --> 00:35:09,042
- You'll have plenty of time
to catch him before his flight.
763
00:35:09,175 --> 00:35:10,809
You gotta admit,
this is a little fun.
764
00:35:10,943 --> 00:35:12,909
This is what a Rishi-free life
looks like.
765
00:35:13,041 --> 00:35:14,408
- Yeah, sign me up.
766
00:35:14,541 --> 00:35:16,875
Nothing beats being chased
by a homicidal maniac.
767
00:35:17,041 --> 00:35:18,608
- You love me.
768
00:35:20,373 --> 00:35:21,941
Oh shit, Daniel.
769
00:35:22,073 --> 00:35:23,540
- Here's what's gonna happen.
We're gonna go up those stairs.
770
00:35:23,674 --> 00:35:25,473
You're gonna give me the diamond
771
00:35:25,606 --> 00:35:27,806
and then we're all gonna walk
away like this never happened.
772
00:35:27,940 --> 00:35:30,039
- We don't have the diamond.
773
00:35:30,139 --> 00:35:32,438
You have such strong arms.
- I'm not playin' around.
774
00:35:32,572 --> 00:35:34,071
- No, no, we're not lying.
775
00:35:34,205 --> 00:35:35,638
We had the diamond
in Mel's gift bag,
776
00:35:35,772 --> 00:35:38,070
then this guy named Ameet,
who I do gigs for, not work for,
777
00:35:38,204 --> 00:35:39,604
took it
because I owed him money,
778
00:35:39,737 --> 00:35:41,404
then he gave it off to
these greenwear entrepreneurs
779
00:35:41,537 --> 00:35:42,771
because he owed them money.
780
00:35:42,904 --> 00:35:45,102
See? It's a simple explanation,
really.
781
00:35:45,236 --> 00:35:47,269
So, your jawline,
God made no mistakes.
782
00:35:47,403 --> 00:35:49,936
- Enough!
Start walkin'.
783
00:35:50,068 --> 00:35:52,335
One peep and I pull the trigger.
784
00:35:53,469 --> 00:35:55,701
- What the hell's going on?
785
00:35:55,835 --> 00:35:58,668
- That is so Percy to send one
of his henchmen to kill us.
786
00:35:58,801 --> 00:36:00,601
- Shut up
and get in front of them.
787
00:36:00,734 --> 00:36:03,467
Move.
788
00:36:06,233 --> 00:36:08,365
- Ah, I'm dangerous!
789
00:36:08,499 --> 00:36:10,933
That bitch has a sai!
790
00:36:11,065 --> 00:36:12,032
- Stop right there.
791
00:36:12,165 --> 00:36:13,331
- Clever girl.
792
00:36:14,331 --> 00:36:15,765
- That was smart.
- Thanks.
793
00:36:15,898 --> 00:36:17,097
- On the ground.
794
00:36:17,231 --> 00:36:18,164
- I didn't think
this far ahead though.
795
00:36:18,298 --> 00:36:19,831
- On the ground!
796
00:36:20,030 --> 00:36:21,664
- Sheila doesn't do ground.
797
00:36:23,797 --> 00:36:25,563
- I just want to let you know
you're all being detained
798
00:36:25,696 --> 00:36:26,796
for carrying a deadly weapon.
799
00:36:26,930 --> 00:36:28,729
- This is totally
because we're brown.
800
00:36:28,863 --> 00:36:33,094
This is systemic racism,
xenophobia and frankly,
801
00:36:33,228 --> 00:36:34,662
Islamophobia.
802
00:36:34,795 --> 00:36:37,160
- Are one of you Muslim?
- I am.
803
00:36:37,294 --> 00:36:38,461
- I didn't know you were Muslim.
804
00:36:38,594 --> 00:36:39,828
- Everyone's a little Muslim,
Surina.
805
00:36:40,027 --> 00:36:41,060
Get with the times.
806
00:36:41,194 --> 00:36:43,326
Hi, excuse me, sir.
807
00:36:43,460 --> 00:36:45,259
I can't be here
with these people,
808
00:36:45,393 --> 00:36:47,426
so, if you wanted
to reach into my pocket,
809
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:51,459
there should be a fresh,
crisp Franklin waiting for you.
810
00:36:51,592 --> 00:36:53,525
Oh, actually I used that
to shoo away an old woman.
811
00:36:53,659 --> 00:36:54,892
Do you take Dogecoin?
812
00:36:55,024 --> 00:36:56,891
- Ma'am, I'm gonna need you
to shut up.
813
00:36:57,057 --> 00:37:01,256
Get comfy 'cause y'all
gonna be here for a while.
814
00:37:01,390 --> 00:37:03,690
Wait a second.
815
00:37:03,824 --> 00:37:05,023
You're famous.
816
00:37:05,156 --> 00:37:07,522
- Oh, here we go again.
817
00:37:07,656 --> 00:37:10,155
Scripps National Spelling Bee
champ '04.
818
00:37:10,289 --> 00:37:11,722
It happens all the time.
819
00:37:11,856 --> 00:37:13,354
- I don't know what the hell
you're talking about.
820
00:37:13,488 --> 00:37:14,888
Stick girl?
821
00:37:16,655 --> 00:37:18,555
Yo, can I get a picture?
822
00:37:18,688 --> 00:37:20,187
My girlfriend loves you.
823
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,020
Oh, the song, that remix.
824
00:37:23,153 --> 00:37:25,252
? Yo, beat that boy
with a stick, boy ?
825
00:37:25,386 --> 00:37:27,820
? Keep it thick like say what ?
826
00:37:28,019 --> 00:37:30,286
- Yep, that's me.
I'm stick girl.
827
00:37:30,419 --> 00:37:34,485
- You sure are.
828
00:37:34,618 --> 00:37:37,918
Just right there.
Oh, that's a good one.
829
00:37:38,050 --> 00:37:39,117
That's a good one.
830
00:37:39,250 --> 00:37:42,017
That song is a bop, okay?
831
00:37:42,083 --> 00:37:44,850
It's like if someone bottled up
the music of a generation
832
00:37:45,016 --> 00:37:48,349
and served it on ice
on a hot day.
833
00:37:48,483 --> 00:37:51,015
Ah.
Okay, real quick just...
834
00:37:52,348 --> 00:37:55,047
- Jerry, don't.
- It's all good.
835
00:37:55,181 --> 00:37:57,214
Tonight is Diwali.
836
00:37:57,347 --> 00:37:59,581
A special holiday
about friendship,
837
00:37:59,714 --> 00:38:02,580
love and camaraderie.
838
00:38:02,713 --> 00:38:06,013
This is your journey.
839
00:38:06,079 --> 00:38:08,012
Stay fresh, girl.
840
00:38:10,579 --> 00:38:13,912
- Feast on this, pigs!
841
00:38:14,044 --> 00:38:15,445
- Freeze!
842
00:38:19,610 --> 00:38:21,644
- Run for it!
843
00:38:21,777 --> 00:38:23,410
Remember me.
844
00:38:23,544 --> 00:38:25,709
- Don't leave me.
845
00:38:28,309 --> 00:38:30,543
- Damn you, stick girl.
846
00:38:37,474 --> 00:38:40,073
- Did we lose Surina and Mel?
847
00:38:40,207 --> 00:38:41,641
How are you not out of breath?
848
00:38:41,774 --> 00:38:43,440
- Oh, I got a lung transplant
a couple of years ago.
849
00:38:43,573 --> 00:38:44,807
- I didn't know that.
What was wrong?
850
00:38:45,006 --> 00:38:46,273
- Nothing.
I just wanted new lungs.
851
00:38:46,406 --> 00:38:48,006
Anyway, I'm glad we're alone.
852
00:38:48,139 --> 00:38:50,772
We can finally start the first
session of the Sheila method.
853
00:38:50,906 --> 00:38:51,772
- Oh.
854
00:38:51,906 --> 00:38:55,204
Ow. Wh--
Ow. Why?
855
00:38:55,337 --> 00:38:56,371
Ah, stop that!
856
00:38:56,504 --> 00:38:57,671
- You're pathetic.
857
00:38:57,805 --> 00:38:59,271
You've spent your life
following a girl
858
00:38:59,404 --> 00:39:01,003
who doesn't even like you.
859
00:39:01,103 --> 00:39:03,570
You're always wearing the same
Express sweater-shirt combo.
860
00:39:03,703 --> 00:39:05,537
And you reek of CK One.
861
00:39:05,670 --> 00:39:09,502
You are weak.
862
00:39:12,002 --> 00:39:14,067
- Wait.
863
00:39:24,534 --> 00:39:25,999
- I hope Sheila and Sunjay
are okay.
864
00:39:26,065 --> 00:39:28,433
- They're not answering.
865
00:39:28,566 --> 00:39:29,999
- We have to call the police.
866
00:39:30,099 --> 00:39:31,498
- Are you kidding me?
I'm not going out like Jerry.
867
00:39:31,632 --> 00:39:32,665
And he's white.
868
00:39:32,799 --> 00:39:36,365
- How did Daniel even find us?
869
00:39:36,498 --> 00:39:38,531
He must've tracked us with our
phones.
870
00:39:38,664 --> 00:39:41,397
- Oh, that gorgeous,
clever son of a bitch.
871
00:39:41,531 --> 00:39:43,463
We gotta break 'em.
872
00:39:43,596 --> 00:39:46,563
- We gotta what?
873
00:39:46,696 --> 00:39:49,262
- Here. Give me your phone.
874
00:39:49,395 --> 00:39:52,228
Trust me.
I binge Mr. Robot.
875
00:39:52,362 --> 00:39:54,128
Okay, we gotta
break yours first.
876
00:39:54,262 --> 00:39:55,327
- Why mine first?
877
00:39:55,461 --> 00:39:56,994
- Yours is an 11.
Mine's a 12.
878
00:39:57,060 --> 00:39:58,594
- What difference
does that make?
879
00:39:58,728 --> 00:40:00,161
- We should break the lower
model one first.
880
00:40:00,294 --> 00:40:01,660
- Well, it's basically the same
except for the camera.
881
00:40:01,794 --> 00:40:04,593
- Not true, the 11 can only
manage 996 by 1820,
882
00:40:04,727 --> 00:40:08,292
a meager 452... Okay, we do them
both at the same time.
883
00:40:08,426 --> 00:40:09,793
On the count of three.
884
00:40:09,925 --> 00:40:11,592
One, two, three.
885
00:40:11,726 --> 00:40:15,291
- Aah!
- Aah!
886
00:40:15,425 --> 00:40:18,458
It was the right thing to do.
887
00:40:18,591 --> 00:40:20,123
- We could've just
put them in a locker.
888
00:40:20,257 --> 00:40:21,524
Also, he wasn't tracking yours.
889
00:40:21,657 --> 00:40:22,923
He only had my number.
890
00:40:23,056 --> 00:40:24,823
- Shh, Mel.
It was the right thing to do.
891
00:40:26,122 --> 00:40:27,055
- Wait, we're here.
892
00:40:27,189 --> 00:40:29,022
- Oh, thank God.
893
00:40:29,156 --> 00:40:30,556
- We need a plan.
- Right.
894
00:40:30,689 --> 00:40:32,155
We go in and say, hey,
can you give us the diamond?
895
00:40:32,288 --> 00:40:33,988
And then they give it to us.
- That's not gonna work.
896
00:40:34,121 --> 00:40:35,422
They may not even know
they have it.
897
00:40:35,555 --> 00:40:37,521
- How do you miss
a 35-carat diamond?
898
00:40:37,654 --> 00:40:39,087
- You know sometimes when
something is way down
899
00:40:39,220 --> 00:40:41,421
in a gift bag, it like,
mixes with the paper stuffing.
900
00:40:41,554 --> 00:40:43,486
And if it's a lot of stuffing,
there's just a lot of folds
901
00:40:43,620 --> 00:40:44,887
and crevices to navigate.
902
00:40:45,019 --> 00:40:46,319
- Right, I never
thought about it like that.
903
00:40:46,453 --> 00:40:48,186
Mel, no.
904
00:40:48,319 --> 00:40:51,452
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
905
00:41:02,350 --> 00:41:05,850
- I didn't know Indians could
appropriate their own culture.
906
00:41:05,983 --> 00:41:07,883
- Seriously.
907
00:41:08,015 --> 00:41:10,682
- Who wants some small bites?
908
00:41:10,816 --> 00:41:14,014
- What? No way.
Look at this spread.
909
00:41:14,148 --> 00:41:17,548
- We make it a point to feed any
guest who comes to our home.
910
00:41:17,681 --> 00:41:20,347
It's such a privilege
for us to provide.
911
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,080
- It's a privilege to consume.
912
00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:24,447
- I hope you don't mind
we eat with our hands here
913
00:41:24,580 --> 00:41:25,979
like our ancestors.
914
00:41:26,112 --> 00:41:28,679
- How else am I
supposed to honor them?
915
00:41:30,012 --> 00:41:31,879
- So, I know this
is really random,
916
00:41:32,011 --> 00:41:34,645
but you got something from Ameet
yesterday at his restaurant.
917
00:41:34,779 --> 00:41:36,211
In one of those bags was a-
918
00:41:36,345 --> 00:41:39,378
- Oh, I know what you're
talking about. That was yours.
919
00:41:39,512 --> 00:41:42,044
- Yeah.
- Let me go get it.
920
00:41:43,110 --> 00:41:45,277
- So what color
is your aura today?
921
00:41:45,411 --> 00:41:48,110
Mine's fuchsia.
922
00:41:49,676 --> 00:41:51,309
- Those were in the gift bag?
923
00:41:51,443 --> 00:41:52,843
- Oh, this was just a sampling.
924
00:41:52,976 --> 00:41:56,809
There were vibrators, ball gags,
anal beads, anal probes,
925
00:41:56,975 --> 00:41:59,742
anal tinglers, anal tumblers,
prostate pinchers,
926
00:41:59,876 --> 00:42:01,341
prostate punchers.
927
00:42:01,474 --> 00:42:03,040
- No, but the punchers
were more of a pinch, babe.
928
00:42:03,174 --> 00:42:04,408
- Oh, that's right.
929
00:42:04,541 --> 00:42:06,441
Questionable marketing
with those.
930
00:42:06,574 --> 00:42:07,740
- Jesus, Sheila.
931
00:42:07,874 --> 00:42:09,306
- No, no, no, no,
it was more something
932
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,673
that you don't stick in you.
933
00:42:11,807 --> 00:42:14,272
- Oh, but you don't
stick this in you.
934
00:42:14,406 --> 00:42:15,972
It's a clitoral stimulator.
935
00:42:16,038 --> 00:42:20,438
It goes right under the
clitoral hood just like that.
936
00:42:20,571 --> 00:42:21,705
- Can you see?
It's right...
937
00:42:21,838 --> 00:42:23,671
- You know what?
Let me just show you.
938
00:42:23,805 --> 00:42:25,303
- Oh, I'm fine.
- No, it's okay.
939
00:42:25,437 --> 00:42:26,970
She's a sex yogi.
- I'm a sex yogi.
940
00:42:27,036 --> 00:42:28,404
- I'm certified as well
in case you're not comfortable
941
00:42:28,537 --> 00:42:29,837
with same-gender intimacy.
942
00:42:29,970 --> 00:42:31,803
Get the coconut oil.
- No.
943
00:42:31,969 --> 00:42:33,603
- I don't know, Mel.
It might help loosen you up.
944
00:42:33,736 --> 00:42:36,336
- Me and my clit are good.
Just in here chillin'.
945
00:42:36,469 --> 00:42:39,268
Not stimulating needed.
We're here for the diamond.
946
00:42:39,402 --> 00:42:41,869
- The diamond?
- In a jewel box.
947
00:42:42,001 --> 00:42:44,734
- We were very upset when Ameet
gave us a diamond as payment.
948
00:42:44,868 --> 00:42:46,200
When he knows that
Lena and I believe
949
00:42:46,334 --> 00:42:49,700
that diamonds carry
very, very bad energy.
950
00:42:49,833 --> 00:42:53,566
- I would never
stick a diamond up my vagina.
951
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:55,432
- Baby, I wouldn't either.
Come here.
952
00:42:55,565 --> 00:42:58,832
- Yeah. Totally.
So, can we have it?
953
00:42:58,965 --> 00:43:01,364
- Yes.
You'll take it?
954
00:43:01,498 --> 00:43:02,664
- Absolutely.
955
00:43:02,798 --> 00:43:05,631
- Oh my gosh,
I'll go get it right now.
956
00:43:05,765 --> 00:43:07,764
- Thank you so much.
957
00:43:07,963 --> 00:43:11,697
- See? Told you we'd fix it.
What?
958
00:43:18,862 --> 00:43:21,294
- This isn't too Indian for you?
959
00:43:21,428 --> 00:43:26,093
- No, I'm kinda diggin' it.
Maybe I'm finding myself.
960
00:43:29,060 --> 00:43:31,259
- You should feel
a little bit of tingle.
961
00:43:31,393 --> 00:43:32,760
- Do you have a phone I can use?
962
00:43:32,959 --> 00:43:36,025
- Oh, no. We don't believe
in cell phones here.
963
00:43:36,159 --> 00:43:40,792
The only 5Gs we have are God,
Greatness, Gratitude,
964
00:43:40,958 --> 00:43:45,224
Graciousness and Grandness.
965
00:43:46,190 --> 00:43:47,990
But we do have a landline
in the guest room,
966
00:43:48,124 --> 00:43:50,757
down the hallway,
third door on the right.
967
00:43:50,956 --> 00:43:53,590
Okay? Just past the
manifestation fountain.
968
00:43:55,722 --> 00:43:56,822
Do you wanna smoke?
969
00:43:56,955 --> 00:43:59,856
- Uh, yeah.
- Great.
970
00:44:04,421 --> 00:44:07,453
- What is this?
- That's a South Asian delicacy,
971
00:44:07,587 --> 00:44:11,186
Malana cream,
Himalayan hash.
972
00:44:12,487 --> 00:44:15,719
- Oh, shit.
973
00:44:29,950 --> 00:44:32,182
- Oh my God.
974
00:44:37,415 --> 00:44:38,682
- I got the diamond.
975
00:44:38,815 --> 00:44:40,315
- I have a thing
to talk to you about.
976
00:44:40,448 --> 00:44:41,948
A Nikki Haley thing.
977
00:44:48,813 --> 00:44:50,813
- You can't just use the
Nikki Haley code word
978
00:44:50,946 --> 00:44:53,480
for anything, Mel.
You're abusing the system.
979
00:44:53,613 --> 00:44:56,112
- I need to show you something.
980
00:44:57,479 --> 00:44:59,846
Are you high?
981
00:44:59,978 --> 00:45:02,344
- Say hello to my little friend.
982
00:45:02,478 --> 00:45:04,311
Whoa, did that sound racist?
983
00:45:04,444 --> 00:45:05,944
I didn't mean
for that to sound racist.
984
00:45:06,010 --> 00:45:07,844
- Are you serious right now?
985
00:45:07,976 --> 00:45:09,943
- Come on, take a hit.
- Absolutely not.
986
00:45:10,043 --> 00:45:11,643
- Why?
You smoke all the time.
987
00:45:11,777 --> 00:45:13,376
- I stopped for Rishi.
988
00:45:13,509 --> 00:45:14,942
- I didn't know this.
989
00:45:15,075 --> 00:45:16,609
- We made an agreement in
therapy a couple of months ago.
990
00:45:16,743 --> 00:45:18,342
He hates the smell.
991
00:45:18,475 --> 00:45:20,208
- Oh, just as he agreed to not
pound other vaginas for you.
992
00:45:20,341 --> 00:45:21,508
- Surina, stop.
993
00:45:21,641 --> 00:45:22,808
- I just find it so unbelievable
Queen Kush
994
00:45:22,941 --> 00:45:24,308
stopped smoking for a man.
995
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:25,940
- Well, Queen Kush
smoked a lot in her life.
996
00:45:26,006 --> 00:45:27,574
It's time for her to grow up.
997
00:45:27,707 --> 00:45:28,707
- That's not the Queen Kush
I know.
998
00:45:28,841 --> 00:45:30,107
She'd never change for anyone.
999
00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:31,939
- She's smart enough
to make her own choices.
1000
00:45:32,005 --> 00:45:33,272
Why am I talking
in the third person?
1001
00:45:33,406 --> 00:45:35,939
Here, give me that.
1002
00:45:39,739 --> 00:45:41,971
Happy?
- Yes. Yes, I am.
1003
00:45:42,105 --> 00:45:44,604
- Jesus.
When did weed get this strong?
1004
00:45:44,738 --> 00:45:45,970
- It's not weed.
1005
00:45:46,104 --> 00:45:49,336
It's Malana cream,
Himalayan hash.
1006
00:45:49,470 --> 00:45:50,770
- What?
- It's okay.
1007
00:45:50,936 --> 00:45:53,737
It's not as bad as...
1008
00:45:54,968 --> 00:45:58,502
Sorry, the walls
were just talking to me.
1009
00:45:58,635 --> 00:46:00,501
They're really happy.
1010
00:46:00,634 --> 00:46:04,134
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
This can't be happening.
1011
00:46:04,267 --> 00:46:05,835
- Okay, calm down.
It's diluted.
1012
00:46:05,967 --> 00:46:06,933
It will wear off quickly.
1013
00:46:07,066 --> 00:46:08,667
Now what did you
want to show me?
1014
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,600
Is it in here?
Is it a pedestal sink?
1015
00:46:10,734 --> 00:46:14,199
You know I fucks
with pedestal sinks.
1016
00:46:14,332 --> 00:46:16,833
Holy Nikki Haley!
- Please don't shut the door.
1017
00:46:16,965 --> 00:46:18,698
They're keeping us here
against our will.
1018
00:46:18,832 --> 00:46:20,964
- Noted.
Thank you.
1019
00:46:21,098 --> 00:46:23,498
Just one second, please.
- Please help us.
1020
00:46:23,631 --> 00:46:25,430
- Oh my God. Oh my God.
What are we gonna do?
1021
00:46:25,564 --> 00:46:27,030
- That's what I was saying,
but no, you wanted
1022
00:46:27,163 --> 00:46:28,397
to smoke it up
like Chong and Cheech.
1023
00:46:28,530 --> 00:46:29,930
- Cheech and Chong.
- That's what I said.
1024
00:46:30,030 --> 00:46:31,262
- No, you said it reversed.
Who does that?
1025
00:46:31,396 --> 00:46:32,796
- It's the same thing.
It's two people's names.
1026
00:46:32,929 --> 00:46:34,262
- But never in that order.
- Well, maybe Chong
1027
00:46:34,396 --> 00:46:35,929
wants to be first sometimes.
- Hey, is everything
1028
00:46:35,995 --> 00:46:37,362
okay back there, girls?
1029
00:46:37,495 --> 00:46:39,295
Did you get lost by the
manifestation fountain?
1030
00:46:39,428 --> 00:46:40,695
It happens all the time.
1031
00:46:40,829 --> 00:46:42,993
Literally and metaphorically
by the fountain.
1032
00:46:43,127 --> 00:46:44,227
- Yeah, no, we're good.
1033
00:46:44,361 --> 00:46:45,960
We're just
manifesting over here.
1034
00:46:46,094 --> 00:46:48,060
God, these people are psychos.
We gotta get out of here.
1035
00:46:48,194 --> 00:46:50,393
That door.
- We can't just leave them.
1036
00:46:50,526 --> 00:46:54,925
- What are we gonna do?
Put them on our backs?
1037
00:46:55,058 --> 00:46:57,525
- I'm sorry, we'll try to donate
to a reputable charity.
1038
00:46:57,659 --> 00:47:01,157
- Or request me on Venmo.
At Surina not Williams.
1039
00:47:05,924 --> 00:47:07,023
David Diwali?
1040
00:47:07,156 --> 00:47:09,390
- You want some candy, kids?
1041
00:47:09,523 --> 00:47:11,757
Get in the van!
1042
00:47:11,923 --> 00:47:14,022
- Frosty!
- Why?
1043
00:47:14,155 --> 00:47:18,289
Why would you
sew buttons on to me?
1044
00:47:18,421 --> 00:47:19,621
- Aah!
- Aah!
1045
00:47:19,755 --> 00:47:23,254
- Should we check on them?
1046
00:47:24,121 --> 00:47:26,354
- I'm sure they're fine.
1047
00:47:28,387 --> 00:47:31,152
Okay, I'm ready for
my turmeric bath, baby.
1048
00:47:35,919 --> 00:47:37,618
- This is worth $12 million?
1049
00:47:37,752 --> 00:47:39,585
It looks like costume jewelry.
1050
00:47:40,918 --> 00:47:42,484
- Oh, smart.
1051
00:47:42,617 --> 00:47:45,184
Empty it all up 'cause we got
tons of drinking ahead of us.
1052
00:47:45,317 --> 00:47:46,917
Oh, hey, we can pick up the L
over there.
1053
00:47:47,050 --> 00:47:48,416
Head to Kavita's.
1054
00:47:48,550 --> 00:47:50,750
- No, I'm done.
I'm not going to Kavita's.
1055
00:47:50,916 --> 00:47:52,383
- But we know
Sheila's gonna be there.
1056
00:47:52,516 --> 00:47:56,615
We'll give her the diamond
and then weekend social banger.
1057
00:47:56,749 --> 00:47:57,915
Did I miss something?
1058
00:47:58,048 --> 00:47:59,615
I thought we were having fun?
1059
00:47:59,749 --> 00:48:01,014
- How is this fun?
1060
00:48:01,147 --> 00:48:02,581
Somebody's been
trying to kill us.
1061
00:48:02,715 --> 00:48:04,581
- Well, I mean, yeah, if you
choose the one bad part,
1062
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:05,947
it's not gonna sound great.
1063
00:48:06,081 --> 00:48:07,580
- I need to go to Rishi's.
1064
00:48:07,714 --> 00:48:09,080
- Why is it always about Rishi?
1065
00:48:09,213 --> 00:48:10,913
- Because at least I know
what it is.
1066
00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:13,212
- What's that supposed to mean?
1067
00:48:13,346 --> 00:48:14,945
- When I'm with you,
it's amazing,
1068
00:48:15,079 --> 00:48:17,079
but it's always pure chaos.
1069
00:48:17,212 --> 00:48:18,778
Hey, Surina,
you want to hang out?
1070
00:48:18,911 --> 00:48:21,511
Sure. Explosion.
1071
00:48:21,645 --> 00:48:23,678
I just...
1072
00:48:23,812 --> 00:48:25,610
I can't do it anymore.
1073
00:48:25,744 --> 00:48:27,610
- I was just trying to help you
have a good time,
1074
00:48:27,744 --> 00:48:29,077
have an amazing Diwali.
1075
00:48:29,210 --> 00:48:32,343
- Well, thank you, but I'm good.
1076
00:48:32,476 --> 00:48:34,909
- Ever since Rishi, you've
become this over-protected,
1077
00:48:34,975 --> 00:48:36,642
watered-down version
of yourself.
1078
00:48:36,775 --> 00:48:38,141
It's like I don't even matter.
1079
00:48:38,275 --> 00:48:41,141
- No, Surina.
I became an adult.
1080
00:48:41,275 --> 00:48:43,140
Adults plan.
- I plan.
1081
00:48:43,274 --> 00:48:44,940
- You change apartments
every month.
1082
00:48:45,074 --> 00:48:46,441
- I'm a nomad at heart.
1083
00:48:46,574 --> 00:48:49,173
You know my 23andMe
said I'm 40% Mongolian.
1084
00:48:49,306 --> 00:48:51,540
- Your dentist is some dude
off Craigslist.
1085
00:48:51,673 --> 00:48:53,506
- Yeah, and I've only lost
two teeth since.
1086
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,439
- You graduate with honors,
but you're still gig working
1087
00:48:55,572 --> 00:48:58,739
for a moron.
1088
00:48:58,905 --> 00:49:00,937
- That's just temporary.
1089
00:49:01,970 --> 00:49:03,671
- Look at your life, Surina.
1090
00:49:03,805 --> 00:49:06,503
I mean, what's your plan?
1091
00:49:06,637 --> 00:49:09,003
- I don't know, Melanie.
1092
00:49:09,136 --> 00:49:10,503
Can I say that?
Is that okay?
1093
00:49:10,637 --> 00:49:14,069
I do not know.
I don't have a plan.
1094
00:49:14,202 --> 00:49:16,469
You think I like
living paycheck to paycheck?
1095
00:49:16,602 --> 00:49:18,601
Or crashing around at
people's places being well aware
1096
00:49:18,735 --> 00:49:22,401
of how capable I am,
but settling for less?
1097
00:49:22,535 --> 00:49:25,100
You're not the only one
with big dreams, Mel.
1098
00:49:25,233 --> 00:49:26,933
Just 'cause my path
isn't as neat as yours,
1099
00:49:27,067 --> 00:49:30,299
it doesn't mean
I won't get there.
1100
00:49:30,433 --> 00:49:32,099
Rishi's place is just
a few blocks away.
1101
00:49:32,232 --> 00:49:35,566
I'm sure you'll make it to him
before he leaves.
1102
00:49:35,700 --> 00:49:38,065
Go!
1103
00:49:48,630 --> 00:49:49,896
- What are we doing?
1104
00:49:50,029 --> 00:49:51,630
We have to find Surina and Mel.
1105
00:49:51,763 --> 00:49:53,663
- Oh, Gucci.
1106
00:49:53,797 --> 00:49:58,529
- No, no, no!
I'm not doing this anymore.
1107
00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:01,860
- Okay, Fendi, I understand,
but Salvatore Ferragamo
1108
00:50:01,994 --> 00:50:03,628
does not deserve that.
- Shut up!
1109
00:50:03,761 --> 00:50:07,193
Just for one second
just shut your mouth.
1110
00:50:07,327 --> 00:50:09,859
You are literally batshit crazy.
1111
00:50:09,993 --> 00:50:12,592
A total complete lunatic.
1112
00:50:12,726 --> 00:50:15,092
And I think I figured out why.
1113
00:50:15,225 --> 00:50:18,191
Because in your real life,
you're just a sad,
1114
00:50:18,325 --> 00:50:21,957
insecure rich girl that's been
handed everything.
1115
00:50:22,091 --> 00:50:24,691
You're trapped in your boring,
meaningless life.
1116
00:50:24,823 --> 00:50:27,324
You have no purpose.
1117
00:50:27,457 --> 00:50:30,523
I'm honestly
embarrassed for you.
1118
00:50:41,455 --> 00:50:44,321
- Lesson complete.
- What?
1119
00:50:44,454 --> 00:50:46,087
- You finally stood up
for yourself.
1120
00:50:46,220 --> 00:50:48,620
You know your worth.
1121
00:50:48,753 --> 00:50:51,186
- Wait, is that what
this was all about?
1122
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:52,653
All the name-calling?
1123
00:50:52,787 --> 00:50:53,986
The pushing around?
1124
00:50:54,118 --> 00:50:55,419
That was all part of it?
1125
00:50:55,552 --> 00:50:58,485
- The Sheila method is cruel,
but effective.
1126
00:50:58,619 --> 00:51:01,217
- That's why you threw me
down a flight of stairs.
1127
00:51:01,351 --> 00:51:04,151
- Uh, yeah.
Sure. That was part of it too.
1128
00:51:04,284 --> 00:51:06,350
One of the most important parts.
1129
00:51:06,483 --> 00:51:09,583
- Wow, I didn't know
you had this side to you.
1130
00:51:09,717 --> 00:51:11,717
- Well, it's important
to believe in yourself.
1131
00:51:11,883 --> 00:51:14,649
You'd be surprised what you
can learn from your exes.
1132
00:51:14,783 --> 00:51:16,316
- You mean Percy?
1133
00:51:16,449 --> 00:51:19,381
The lunatic
who's trying to murder us?
1134
00:51:19,515 --> 00:51:22,914
- Yeah.
1135
00:51:24,180 --> 00:51:26,614
- I'm gonna go find
Surina and Mel.
1136
00:51:26,747 --> 00:51:29,180
Thanks, Sheila.
1137
00:51:30,746 --> 00:51:33,413
- Who's gonna carry my bags?
1138
00:51:33,546 --> 00:51:37,345
Hi, excuse me,
can you carry these?
1139
00:51:38,612 --> 00:51:40,745
I'll just rebuy.
1140
00:51:46,577 --> 00:51:49,443
- Come on, come on.
Please be here.
1141
00:51:50,876 --> 00:51:53,942
- Melanie, my doll!
- Fuck me.
1142
00:51:54,075 --> 00:51:55,108
- What happened to you?
1143
00:51:55,242 --> 00:51:57,375
- Just a long day.
1144
00:51:57,509 --> 00:51:59,409
- You look like a bus hit you.
1145
00:51:59,542 --> 00:52:01,608
- Yep.
1146
00:52:01,741 --> 00:52:03,007
- You know-
1147
00:52:03,141 --> 00:52:04,708
- I don't care, Parveen Auntie.
1148
00:52:04,874 --> 00:52:07,573
I just do not care.
1149
00:52:07,707 --> 00:52:12,673
- I was going to say,
I have been there.
1150
00:52:12,872 --> 00:52:16,439
Hoping something would
just work out because it fit.
1151
00:52:16,572 --> 00:52:19,471
I never married.
Never had kids.
1152
00:52:19,605 --> 00:52:22,738
Hated myself for years
because of it.
1153
00:52:22,871 --> 00:52:26,337
But why?
Really, why?
1154
00:52:26,470 --> 00:52:28,936
Who cares what
the world wants from you.
1155
00:52:29,070 --> 00:52:30,569
Fuck them.
1156
00:52:30,703 --> 00:52:33,202
What do you want?
1157
00:52:33,336 --> 00:52:36,968
- Hello?
- Mel, is that you?
1158
00:52:37,101 --> 00:52:41,068
Hello?
Mel?
1159
00:52:44,867 --> 00:52:46,634
- Where are you going?
1160
00:52:46,768 --> 00:52:49,066
- To save a friendship.
1161
00:52:49,199 --> 00:52:50,999
Happy Diwali.
1162
00:52:51,133 --> 00:52:53,466
- Happy Diwali.
1163
00:52:55,699 --> 00:52:58,132
Did she gain weight?
1164
00:53:02,431 --> 00:53:04,097
- Hey, I see you in there.
1165
00:53:04,231 --> 00:53:06,096
You just changed the sign
when I got here.
1166
00:53:06,230 --> 00:53:08,530
- You crazy witch!
Go!
1167
00:53:11,430 --> 00:53:13,962
- What do you want?
1168
00:53:14,095 --> 00:53:15,962
- I'm sorry, Surina.
1169
00:53:16,095 --> 00:53:18,094
- You have to do better
than that.
1170
00:53:18,228 --> 00:53:19,662
- It was never about Rishi.
1171
00:53:19,861 --> 00:53:23,094
He was just
some stupid safety net.
1172
00:53:23,228 --> 00:53:26,627
The truth is,
I'm scared, Surina.
1173
00:53:26,761 --> 00:53:28,294
I always thought I had it
all figured out.
1174
00:53:28,427 --> 00:53:30,593
And now I have no clue.
1175
00:53:30,726 --> 00:53:33,059
Like when am I going to
brush my teeth tonight?
1176
00:53:33,192 --> 00:53:36,292
The thought of not knowing
horrifies me.
1177
00:53:36,425 --> 00:53:39,991
I don't have the courage
to do what you do.
1178
00:53:40,125 --> 00:53:43,224
You didn't deserve
what I said to you.
1179
00:53:43,357 --> 00:53:45,357
Can you forgive me?
1180
00:53:45,491 --> 00:53:48,590
Can you forgive Queen Kush?
1181
00:53:54,322 --> 00:53:58,555
- Oh no,
I'm finishing this time.
1182
00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:04,187
Ah, so good.
Get me a waffle.
1183
00:54:05,321 --> 00:54:08,153
- I love you.
- Oh, I love you, Mel.
1184
00:54:08,287 --> 00:54:09,853
Wait, how did you know
I'd be here?
1185
00:54:09,953 --> 00:54:13,852
- There's nothing better than
hot chai after a long-ass day.
1186
00:54:15,852 --> 00:54:16,852
- You guys are okay.
1187
00:54:16,985 --> 00:54:18,351
- Seven blocks we ran.
1188
00:54:18,485 --> 00:54:20,551
I did not buy new lungs
to use them like this.
1189
00:54:20,685 --> 00:54:24,217
- We got the diamond too.
- Finally.
1190
00:54:26,350 --> 00:54:28,617
- Mel, I want to tell you
something.
1191
00:54:28,751 --> 00:54:30,849
- Not now, Sunjay.
Everyone's having a moment.
1192
00:54:30,915 --> 00:54:33,616
- Shut it, Surina!
1193
00:54:33,750 --> 00:54:38,115
Melanie, I've been by your side
for God knows how long,
1194
00:54:38,248 --> 00:54:39,981
through thick and thin.
1195
00:54:40,115 --> 00:54:42,847
You mean everything to me.
1196
00:54:42,980 --> 00:54:45,681
I know that there's something
there between us
1197
00:54:45,847 --> 00:54:50,313
and I think you do too.
1198
00:54:50,446 --> 00:54:51,979
- We're actually all
just going to Kavita's.
1199
00:54:52,113 --> 00:54:53,846
Can we talk about this later?
1200
00:54:53,978 --> 00:54:56,212
- Of course.
Yeah, totally.
1201
00:54:56,345 --> 00:54:58,178
Not a problem.
1202
00:54:58,312 --> 00:54:59,679
- Wait, for real?
1203
00:54:59,845 --> 00:55:02,611
- It's the weekend social
banger extravaganza,
1204
00:55:02,745 --> 00:55:05,111
isn't it?
- Damn sure is.
1205
00:55:05,244 --> 00:55:07,510
- Percy,
I have your silly diamond.
1206
00:55:07,644 --> 00:55:08,943
And if you think
I'm gonna give it back,
1207
00:55:09,076 --> 00:55:10,543
you're out of your mind.
1208
00:55:10,677 --> 00:55:13,542
It's stood between us
for long enough.
1209
00:55:16,908 --> 00:55:18,341
Your whore diamond's
driving northbound.
1210
00:55:18,475 --> 00:55:21,275
Go find it yourself.
1211
00:55:21,408 --> 00:55:23,008
So, he wants to
kill all of us now.
1212
00:55:23,141 --> 00:55:24,007
- What did you do, Sheila?
1213
00:55:24,140 --> 00:55:27,040
- We're going to die.
1214
00:55:27,173 --> 00:55:28,407
- Why does this keep happening?
1215
00:55:28,540 --> 00:55:30,406
- You lot are a bunch of
bloody idiots, aren't ya?
1216
00:55:30,539 --> 00:55:32,306
- Just take it easy you.
1217
00:55:32,439 --> 00:55:35,904
Sorry, I just...
Your eyes.
1218
00:55:36,038 --> 00:55:38,372
I always get lost in your eyes.
1219
00:55:38,505 --> 00:55:40,272
- All right, Percy has a very
special surprise for you,
1220
00:55:40,405 --> 00:55:42,404
so, get in the car.
1221
00:55:42,537 --> 00:55:44,237
- There's no way in hell
we're all gonna fit in that.
1222
00:55:44,371 --> 00:55:45,704
- You'll fit.
It seats five.
1223
00:55:45,837 --> 00:55:47,070
Comfortably.
1224
00:55:47,204 --> 00:55:48,436
- I bet it gets
great gas mileage.
1225
00:55:48,570 --> 00:55:49,836
- Great for the environment.
1226
00:55:49,902 --> 00:55:51,503
- Can you call
a private car for me?
1227
00:55:51,637 --> 00:55:54,835
- Everyone shut up
and just move!
1228
00:55:56,669 --> 00:55:58,669
- I can't get in.
There's all these books.
1229
00:55:58,835 --> 00:56:00,101
- All right.
Get out of the way.
1230
00:56:00,234 --> 00:56:01,201
Out of the way.
1231
00:56:01,334 --> 00:56:02,867
- You're taking the LSAT?
1232
00:56:03,001 --> 00:56:05,101
- What do you think I just woke
up one day and was like,
1233
00:56:05,234 --> 00:56:06,233
ah, I'm gonna be a hitman?
1234
00:56:06,367 --> 00:56:07,734
- Oh, a lawyer.
1235
00:56:07,866 --> 00:56:09,300
I didn't think I could
get any more turned on.
1236
00:56:09,433 --> 00:56:11,865
- Wow, look,
you think this life is easy?
1237
00:56:11,999 --> 00:56:14,099
'Cause the hours are shit.
I get zero time off.
1238
00:56:14,232 --> 00:56:17,232
I don't see the girlfriend.
I don't have a 401k.
1239
00:56:17,366 --> 00:56:18,897
- You need the 401k.
- Exactly.
1240
00:56:19,031 --> 00:56:20,831
I need the 401k.
1241
00:56:20,897 --> 00:56:22,864
Do you know how many times
I've had to wash blood
1242
00:56:22,998 --> 00:56:24,330
out of these hands?
1243
00:56:24,464 --> 00:56:26,863
There is no moisturizer on earth
1244
00:56:26,997 --> 00:56:30,162
that is prepared for that.
1245
00:56:30,296 --> 00:56:33,929
They all want you
to be a hitman,
1246
00:56:34,062 --> 00:56:37,428
but maybe I'm just a hitboy.
1247
00:56:41,128 --> 00:56:42,728
- Go.
Get out of here.
1248
00:56:42,860 --> 00:56:45,461
- Did he say girlfriend?
- Surina, come.
1249
00:56:46,661 --> 00:56:48,560
- Now I see, maybe throwing
a $12 million diamond
1250
00:56:48,693 --> 00:56:51,059
in the back of a pickup truck
was a bit of an overreaction.
1251
00:56:51,193 --> 00:56:53,260
You should appreciate how much
I restrained myself.
1252
00:56:53,393 --> 00:56:55,692
That Percy is a two-faced fake.
1253
00:56:55,825 --> 00:56:58,325
- Hold up.
What did you just say?
1254
00:56:58,459 --> 00:56:59,857
- Oh, Surina,
I say a lot of things.
1255
00:56:59,991 --> 00:57:01,258
- What is it?
1256
00:57:01,391 --> 00:57:02,957
- Fake.
1257
00:57:03,091 --> 00:57:05,458
This is worth $12 million?
It looks like costume jewelry.
1258
00:57:05,591 --> 00:57:08,923
Oh my God, how'd I
not see this before?
1259
00:57:09,056 --> 00:57:10,357
We gotta get to the L.
1260
00:57:13,189 --> 00:57:15,556
- We need waters on four.
I'll give you your waters.
1261
00:57:16,522 --> 00:57:19,355
Oh.
Hey.
1262
00:57:19,488 --> 00:57:20,588
If you're gonna
put stuff in my mouth,
1263
00:57:20,722 --> 00:57:21,887
I'm asking for consent first.
1264
00:57:22,021 --> 00:57:23,154
- I can't believe
we're doing this again,
1265
00:57:23,288 --> 00:57:25,153
but where is the diamond, Ameet?
1266
00:57:25,287 --> 00:57:27,220
- Whatever do you mean?
1267
00:57:28,621 --> 00:57:31,885
- Not urinal mist.
This is worse than tomato.
1268
00:57:32,019 --> 00:57:32,885
- Don't try me.
1269
00:57:33,019 --> 00:57:34,019
- Hey, it's in my pocket.
1270
00:57:34,152 --> 00:57:35,818
It's in my front pocket.
1271
00:57:35,951 --> 00:57:38,485
Melanie can get it.
1272
00:57:40,918 --> 00:57:42,384
- Gross.
1273
00:57:42,517 --> 00:57:44,651
- You know, you probably
all got a lot closer
1274
00:57:44,817 --> 00:57:47,050
and cemented your friendship
in a way you never saw before.
1275
00:57:47,184 --> 00:57:48,350
- Shut up.
- Shut up.
1276
00:57:48,483 --> 00:57:49,717
- Sheila, call Percy.
1277
00:57:49,849 --> 00:57:53,483
Ugh, fine.
1278
00:57:53,617 --> 00:57:55,215
- Hello?
- Hey listen, asshole,
1279
00:57:55,349 --> 00:57:57,515
we have the diamond.
- And who is this?
1280
00:57:57,649 --> 00:57:59,549
- Surina.
Your worst nightmare.
1281
00:57:59,681 --> 00:58:00,814
- Maybe a notch down.
1282
00:58:00,914 --> 00:58:02,681
- Your second
to worst nightmare.
1283
00:58:02,814 --> 00:58:06,113
- Well, it is a pleasure
to meet you, Surina.
1284
00:58:06,247 --> 00:58:07,247
- Don't hurt him.
1285
00:58:07,380 --> 00:58:08,813
- Oh, you want your friend back?
1286
00:58:08,913 --> 00:58:11,313
Well, then just bring
the diamond by midnight
1287
00:58:11,447 --> 00:58:14,279
to Kavita's party.
Okay?
1288
00:58:14,412 --> 00:58:17,479
- Even Percy got invited?
1289
00:58:17,613 --> 00:58:20,546
- You ready to do this?
1290
00:58:23,045 --> 00:58:24,011
Your place first?
1291
00:58:24,144 --> 00:58:26,712
- Yeah. Definitely.
1292
00:58:27,678 --> 00:58:30,410
- Actually, wait.
One more thing.
1293
00:58:30,544 --> 00:58:31,910
- Ah, so you've come to
apologize?
1294
00:58:32,043 --> 00:58:34,110
- No, I just realized
life's too short
1295
00:58:34,244 --> 00:58:37,809
to waste on
an egotistical asshat like you.
1296
00:58:37,875 --> 00:58:40,009
I quit.
1297
00:58:47,442 --> 00:58:50,040
- Those two are fucking right.
1298
00:59:13,704 --> 00:59:17,669
- Holy shit, it's freezing
mother, bitch, cock balls.
1299
00:59:18,935 --> 00:59:21,135
- Ah, these earrings
are killing me.
1300
00:59:21,269 --> 00:59:23,569
I totally forgot we have
no phones to call for a Lyft.
1301
00:59:23,702 --> 00:59:25,368
- I'm not walking to the L
in these heels.
1302
00:59:27,901 --> 00:59:29,268
- Kal Penn?
- Kal Penn?
1303
00:59:29,401 --> 00:59:30,567
- It's just Kal.
Do y'all need a ride?
1304
00:59:30,701 --> 00:59:32,133
- Where'd you get a rickshaw?
1305
00:59:32,267 --> 00:59:35,500
- Come on, Santa's got a sleigh.
I have a rickshaw.
1306
00:59:35,633 --> 00:59:37,700
But really it's for a role,
very complicated.
1307
00:59:37,832 --> 00:59:39,099
- Can you get us to River North?
1308
00:59:39,233 --> 00:59:41,466
- Yeah, hop in.
1309
01:00:18,292 --> 01:00:20,292
- Oh, you're going to Kavita's.
1310
01:00:20,426 --> 01:00:21,758
- You've heard about it too?
1311
01:00:21,892 --> 01:00:23,226
- Yeah, it's only the
biggest party of the year.
1312
01:00:23,359 --> 01:00:25,425
- Do you want to join us?
- No, I'm okay. Thank you.
1313
01:00:25,558 --> 01:00:27,325
- Let me guess,
you're prepping for a role?
1314
01:00:27,458 --> 01:00:29,624
- No, I just don't wanna go.
- Oh.
1315
01:00:29,756 --> 01:00:32,057
- Hey, before you go, can I
impart some words of wisdom?
1316
01:00:32,190 --> 01:00:34,756
- Go for it, Kal Penn.
- Oh, it's just...
1317
01:00:34,890 --> 01:00:36,289
Never mind.
1318
01:00:36,423 --> 01:00:39,956
So, look, when I was younger,
my um, buddy and I uh,
1319
01:00:40,089 --> 01:00:41,423
we had this goal, right?
1320
01:00:41,555 --> 01:00:44,555
We wanted to get
the best burgers in America.
1321
01:00:44,689 --> 01:00:46,388
Ah, we had ups.
We had downs.
1322
01:00:46,522 --> 01:00:47,820
We rode a cheetah.
1323
01:00:47,954 --> 01:00:49,287
But the best part
of that journey
1324
01:00:49,421 --> 01:00:51,287
wasn't those delicious sliders.
1325
01:00:51,421 --> 01:00:54,320
It was discovering things
in our friendship
1326
01:00:54,453 --> 01:00:56,186
that we just didn't know
were possible.
1327
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:59,286
And that friendship blossomed
warranting two sequels
1328
01:00:59,420 --> 01:01:01,319
and a successful franchise.
1329
01:01:01,452 --> 01:01:02,785
- Did you just
outline the plot to-
1330
01:01:02,885 --> 01:01:04,018
- I think I'd know
the difference between
1331
01:01:04,152 --> 01:01:06,518
a movie I was in and real life,
Melanie.
1332
01:01:06,651 --> 01:01:07,951
- You literally just called it
a franchise.
1333
01:01:08,084 --> 01:01:11,017
- Yeah, 'cause it's the
franchise of my life.
1334
01:01:11,151 --> 01:01:12,517
Anyway, it really doesn't matter
what you do.
1335
01:01:12,650 --> 01:01:15,584
What matters is
who you do it with.
1336
01:01:15,783 --> 01:01:20,416
So uh, smile like
there's no tomorrow.
1337
01:01:20,549 --> 01:01:23,515
Dance like no one's watching
1338
01:01:23,648 --> 01:01:27,148
'cause life's too short
to miss out on memories.
1339
01:01:30,780 --> 01:01:32,247
- Do you take drugs?
1340
01:01:32,380 --> 01:01:33,980
- Always.
1341
01:01:40,613 --> 01:01:41,978
- Oh, perfect.
There's Sheila.
1342
01:01:47,245 --> 01:01:49,077
- This is the party of the year?
1343
01:01:49,211 --> 01:01:51,044
I'm embarrassed for her.
1344
01:01:51,177 --> 01:01:53,909
Oh, kulfi.
1345
01:01:56,410 --> 01:01:58,809
- You really need to find
a better way to greet people.
1346
01:01:58,943 --> 01:02:01,576
- No, this works for me.
Move.
1347
01:02:04,642 --> 01:02:06,774
Come on, let's go.
1348
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:15,340
- Yay, you're here.
1349
01:02:15,473 --> 01:02:18,072
I wish we could've met under
better circumstances, you know?
1350
01:02:18,206 --> 01:02:20,172
But here we are.
1351
01:02:21,272 --> 01:02:23,039
The diamond.
1352
01:02:29,504 --> 01:02:33,103
I was such a fool to ever think
about letting you go.
1353
01:02:33,237 --> 01:02:36,636
Daddy's learned his lesson,
okay?
1354
01:02:37,902 --> 01:02:40,203
You can do whatever you want
with me.
1355
01:02:41,203 --> 01:02:44,768
Not that.
Oh, you're so naughty.
1356
01:02:44,834 --> 01:02:49,967
- So um, sorry to interrupt,
but you got your diamond.
1357
01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:51,767
Can we have Sunjay?
1358
01:02:51,900 --> 01:02:54,766
- Yeah, right.
Uh, Daniel,
1359
01:02:54,866 --> 01:02:55,600
kill him.
1360
01:02:55,766 --> 01:02:57,433
- No!
- No!
1361
01:02:57,567 --> 01:03:00,932
- How did you think
this would end?
1362
01:03:01,065 --> 01:03:03,932
- You don't have to do this.
1363
01:03:06,264 --> 01:03:08,897
- This is so cute.
Are you gonna jump?
1364
01:03:10,565 --> 01:03:13,896
Oh, careful with the dresses.
1365
01:03:14,664 --> 01:03:17,096
It's very "Thelma and Louise".
1366
01:03:17,230 --> 01:03:19,095
Hated that movie.
1367
01:03:27,328 --> 01:03:29,360
- I ruined that dress
I borrowed last month.
1368
01:03:29,494 --> 01:03:32,327
I really wanted a jelly donut
and I thought, okay, Surina,
1369
01:03:32,460 --> 01:03:35,459
you've gotta eat this carefully.
This is Mel's dress.
1370
01:03:35,593 --> 01:03:39,326
But you really can't eat a
jelly donut carefully, can you?
1371
01:03:39,459 --> 01:03:41,293
- It's okay.
1372
01:03:41,425 --> 01:03:44,125
You're the best thing
to ever happen to me.
1373
01:03:44,258 --> 01:03:48,491
- Me too.
I love you.
1374
01:03:50,124 --> 01:03:54,290
- Oh my God, don't make this
any harder than it already is.
1375
01:03:54,423 --> 01:03:56,089
Shall I count to three?
1376
01:03:56,223 --> 01:03:59,123
Yeah, okay.
Uh, one.
1377
01:04:00,355 --> 01:04:01,522
- Sheila.
1378
01:04:01,656 --> 01:04:03,022
- I brought some ball gags
along.
1379
01:04:03,155 --> 01:04:05,321
I figured a little sex party
could spice things up.
1380
01:04:05,454 --> 01:04:06,655
They'll break your fall.
1381
01:04:06,787 --> 01:04:08,754
- I'm not jumping into that.
No way.
1382
01:04:08,820 --> 01:04:10,887
- Are, are they used?
1383
01:04:11,021 --> 01:04:12,320
- Gently.
1384
01:04:12,453 --> 01:04:14,053
Come on, girls.
Jump.
1385
01:04:14,187 --> 01:04:15,920
- I'm taking my chances
on the concrete.
1386
01:04:16,053 --> 01:04:18,452
- Mrs. Finney's class.
That was a total dick move,
1387
01:04:18,586 --> 01:04:23,152
but I'm with you now.
Trust me.
1388
01:04:23,285 --> 01:04:26,084
- Two.
1389
01:04:26,218 --> 01:04:28,884
Three.
1390
01:04:31,083 --> 01:04:33,350
- No! No!
1391
01:04:33,484 --> 01:04:35,483
- I didn't see that coming.
1392
01:04:40,949 --> 01:04:43,048
- This is all your fault.
1393
01:04:43,182 --> 01:04:45,848
- Aaah!
1394
01:04:45,981 --> 01:04:47,648
Oh no, the diamond.
1395
01:04:47,780 --> 01:04:49,481
Help me find the diamond,
you idiot.
1396
01:04:49,614 --> 01:04:52,314
- Percy, it's down the drain.
We've got to get out of here.
1397
01:04:53,214 --> 01:04:56,079
Ah, ah, ah, actual bunch of--
1398
01:05:02,945 --> 01:05:04,878
- How's this
for a change of pace?
1399
01:05:06,278 --> 01:05:09,744
- You always hurt
the ones you love.
1400
01:05:09,844 --> 01:05:13,809
No, to the right.
Your right.
1401
01:05:20,242 --> 01:05:22,442
- You are making the
biggest mistake of your life.
1402
01:05:22,576 --> 01:05:24,774
Do you know who I am?
Do you know who I am?
1403
01:05:24,908 --> 01:05:27,275
She-she.
- Pe-Pe.
1404
01:05:28,642 --> 01:05:31,007
I didn't know they'd arrest you.
You'll still call, right?
1405
01:05:31,140 --> 01:05:33,274
I can't live without your touch.
1406
01:05:37,173 --> 01:05:39,839
I'm gonna send you
a really nice care package.
1407
01:05:39,972 --> 01:05:41,238
What's the address?
1408
01:05:41,372 --> 01:05:45,005
Just like...jail?
1409
01:05:45,138 --> 01:05:47,970
- So, are we superheroes now?
1410
01:05:48,104 --> 01:05:51,538
Is this our
Avengers assemble moment?
1411
01:05:51,737 --> 01:05:54,236
- Some of us more than others.
1412
01:05:58,736 --> 01:06:00,302
- Oh shit, Kavita.
1413
01:06:00,435 --> 01:06:02,002
- You ruined my party
and Diwali.
1414
01:06:02,135 --> 01:06:04,102
I swear to God, I will make it
my absolute mission
1415
01:06:04,235 --> 01:06:05,934
to make sure all of your lives
are a living hell.
1416
01:06:06,067 --> 01:06:09,234
- Maybe next time
if you just invited us.
1417
01:06:12,267 --> 01:06:13,200
- Hey, Surina.
1418
01:06:13,333 --> 01:06:15,733
- Oh, if it isn't baby brother.
1419
01:06:15,833 --> 01:06:18,732
Call mommy when you're ready.
1420
01:06:18,865 --> 01:06:21,366
- Rahul!
- Okay, okay.
1421
01:06:25,298 --> 01:06:28,898
- Oh, looks like
someone missed his flight.
1422
01:06:37,496 --> 01:06:39,929
- Hey.
- Hey.
1423
01:06:40,062 --> 01:06:42,428
Thought you had a flight.
1424
01:06:43,961 --> 01:06:47,161
- Some lady named Parveen just
randomly showed up at my door
1425
01:06:47,294 --> 01:06:51,760
and cussed me out for an hour
and she made me miss it.
1426
01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:56,959
I've been meaning to call you.
1427
01:06:57,093 --> 01:07:00,459
I shouldn't have told you
the way that I did.
1428
01:07:00,592 --> 01:07:03,025
It was really awful of me.
1429
01:07:05,324 --> 01:07:08,091
I know you'll probably
never forgive me
1430
01:07:08,224 --> 01:07:09,625
and I guess
that's just something
1431
01:07:09,757 --> 01:07:11,823
I'm gonna have to accept.
1432
01:07:11,956 --> 01:07:14,956
- You lied
and you cheated on me.
1433
01:07:15,090 --> 01:07:19,055
You really broke my heart,
Rishi.
1434
01:07:20,623 --> 01:07:21,955
- I'm sorry.
1435
01:07:22,089 --> 01:07:25,221
- Look, I know we
started to grow apart.
1436
01:07:25,355 --> 01:07:29,554
I wanted so badly
to make it work.
1437
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:32,187
That's why I kept forcing it.
1438
01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:35,153
It took me until today
to realize that
1439
01:07:35,286 --> 01:07:38,386
we just wanted different things.
1440
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:41,452
We were just too afraid
to admit it to each other.
1441
01:07:41,585 --> 01:07:42,818
- Exactly.
1442
01:07:44,585 --> 01:07:47,151
Are you okay?
1443
01:07:47,284 --> 01:07:49,850
- Yeah.
1444
01:07:49,984 --> 01:07:51,950
So, what do we do now?
1445
01:07:52,084 --> 01:07:55,250
- Well, it's just
kinda anti-climactic, um,
1446
01:07:55,383 --> 01:07:57,983
I don't know, do you wanna
throw a drink at me
1447
01:07:58,116 --> 01:07:59,781
and call me an asshole
or something?
1448
01:07:59,915 --> 01:08:01,382
- Actually, yeah.
1449
01:08:01,516 --> 01:08:03,349
Do you mind?
1450
01:08:03,482 --> 01:08:05,914
- Go for it.
1451
01:08:06,780 --> 01:08:08,714
- Just um, not the eyes though.
1452
01:08:08,780 --> 01:08:10,747
- Okay, stand back a bit.
1453
01:08:10,881 --> 01:08:12,614
- Is here good?
- Yeah, perfect.
1454
01:08:12,746 --> 01:08:16,080
Asshole.
1455
01:08:16,813 --> 01:08:18,579
- How was that?
Was that good?
1456
01:08:18,712 --> 01:08:21,712
Oh, no.
1457
01:08:22,246 --> 01:08:24,278
- Oh my God, you're on fire.
1458
01:08:24,411 --> 01:08:26,145
- Was it that good?
Really?
1459
01:08:26,278 --> 01:08:27,878
See, I knew
I should've pursued acting,
1460
01:08:28,011 --> 01:08:30,377
but you know
how Desi parents are.
1461
01:08:30,511 --> 01:08:31,877
Put it out.
Help me.
1462
01:08:32,010 --> 01:08:33,277
- Holy shit,
she just torched him.
1463
01:08:33,410 --> 01:08:34,910
- Is this part of
the Diwali ritual
1464
01:08:35,042 --> 01:08:37,842
because this is very exciting.
1465
01:08:40,709 --> 01:08:43,175
- Oh, excuse me,
I'd like to place my order.
1466
01:08:43,308 --> 01:08:46,175
- No, Sheila.
It's not that kinda place.
1467
01:08:50,541 --> 01:08:53,540
- Do you think we'll ever get
invited to anything ever again?
1468
01:08:53,706 --> 01:08:55,173
- Probably not.
1469
01:08:55,306 --> 01:08:56,540
I'm a bit more worried
I should add attempted murder
1470
01:08:56,706 --> 01:08:58,006
to my resume.
1471
01:08:58,140 --> 01:09:00,838
- Oh, and arson.
1472
01:09:01,972 --> 01:09:03,838
- You know what?
1473
01:09:03,972 --> 01:09:05,804
I can get used to this.
1474
01:09:05,937 --> 01:09:09,171
Being on the fringe.
My own person.
1475
01:09:09,304 --> 01:09:13,036
- Oh, I swiped something
from Kavita's.
1476
01:09:13,170 --> 01:09:15,504
- Not again.
1477
01:09:15,703 --> 01:09:19,603
- We can't end the night
without lighting a candle.
1478
01:09:22,169 --> 01:09:23,734
Happy Diwali, Mel.
1479
01:09:23,868 --> 01:09:26,268
- Happy Diwali, Surina.
1480
01:09:31,367 --> 01:09:35,899
- So, about that vaginoplasty.
- Surina, no.
1481
01:09:36,032 --> 01:09:38,699
- Come on.
No more flapping.
1482
01:09:46,398 --> 01:09:48,131
- It's another one
from your girl, Lily
1483
01:09:48,264 --> 01:09:49,498
This right here's a special one
1484
01:09:49,697 --> 01:09:53,330
for all the
brown girls out there.
1485
01:09:53,463 --> 01:09:55,196
? Beat that boy with a stick,
boy ?
1486
01:09:55,330 --> 01:09:57,096
? Light him up like a Bic,
boy ?
1487
01:09:57,230 --> 01:09:58,995
? Dang that fool was a cheat,
boy ?
1488
01:09:59,129 --> 01:10:00,661
? Now he gonna get de-stroyed ?
1489
01:10:00,795 --> 01:10:02,496
? She's a stick girl in
a stick world ?
1490
01:10:02,628 --> 01:10:04,496
? She's a stick girl
in a stick world ?
1491
01:10:04,628 --> 01:10:06,261
? Take your pick, girl,
it's your boss world ?
1492
01:10:06,394 --> 01:10:09,261
? You haven't heard,
she's a stick girl ?
109635
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