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1
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[Jamaican accent] Hello, all.
Greetings from Jamaica, mon!
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00:00:06,916 --> 00:00:09,250
[Laughs]
3
00:00:09,251 --> 00:00:11,119
Hey, looks who's back.
4
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,253
How was the singles' cruise?
5
00:00:12,254 --> 00:00:15,006
It was hell!
6
00:00:15,007 --> 00:00:17,175
The cabin was tiny, the food was lousy,
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and there were a lot
of pudgy men in speedos
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who should not have been wearing speedos.
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Then why are you so happy?
10
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,800
Because the minute we hit montego bay,
11
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I ditched the ug boat,
12
00:00:27,136 --> 00:00:28,470
hit a local bar,
13
00:00:28,471 --> 00:00:30,688
and met the man of my dreams.
14
00:00:30,689 --> 00:00:32,974
Check it out!
15
00:00:32,975 --> 00:00:34,809
"Man gives birth to own twin"?
16
00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:37,979
Not that! That!
17
00:00:37,980 --> 00:00:40,565
"Congressman Charles Hayward
spotted canoodling
18
00:00:40,566 --> 00:00:43,034
in Jamaica with unnamed tall bombshell."
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That's me!
20
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:47,455
I'm the canoodling bombshell!
21
00:00:47,456 --> 00:00:51,876
So how exactly would a guy give birth?
22
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:56,331
- It's got to be a butt baby.
- Forget the baby!
23
00:00:56,332 --> 00:00:59,417
You guys, I think I met my future husband.
24
00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:01,503
I've never felt like this before.
25
00:01:01,504 --> 00:01:03,388
Charles invited me to stay at his villa,
26
00:01:03,389 --> 00:01:06,007
and we spent ten glorious days together.
27
00:01:06,008 --> 00:01:09,394
Needless to say, I'm tan line free.
28
00:01:09,395 --> 00:01:11,563
Well, it looks like your plan
to set the wedding date first
29
00:01:11,564 --> 00:01:13,064
and find a groom later really worked.
30
00:01:13,065 --> 00:01:14,349
I got to tell you... stroke of genius.
31
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- Yeah, brilliant.
- I dropped that plan.
32
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- Oh, thank god.
- Because that was nuts.
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Yeah, there was talk of
a trip to the cuckoo farm.
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Look, all right, I-I may have
gotten a little carried away,
35
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but now that I've met Charles,
36
00:01:23,859 --> 00:01:26,361
I'm just gonna let love
take its natural course.
37
00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:28,863
Well, Holly, I, for one,
couldn't be happier for you,
38
00:01:28,864 --> 00:01:30,999
and I can't wait to meet the
man who's captured your heart.
39
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,118
As a matter of fact, you're
all going to meet him tonight
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00:01:33,119 --> 00:01:34,369
at the bar.
41
00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:36,538
Mm-hmm. I've told him
everything about you,
42
00:01:36,539 --> 00:01:38,873
and oddly enough, he still
wants to meet you.
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00:01:38,874 --> 00:01:41,209
Ha ha ha!
44
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I'm even funnier when I'm in love!
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Ha ha ha!
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[Upbeat music]
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- Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
- - www.addic7ed.com -
48
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- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Holly.
49
00:02:01,063 --> 00:02:02,280
Charles is going to be here any second,
50
00:02:02,281 --> 00:02:03,898
where's Phil? I told him to be here.
51
00:02:03,899 --> 00:02:04,949
He knows he's supposed to be here.
52
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,317
Why isn't he here?
53
00:02:06,318 --> 00:02:08,153
You'd think ten days of vacation sex
54
00:02:08,154 --> 00:02:11,372
- would've taken the edge off.
- Yeah.
55
00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:13,324
I'm sure he's on the way. Just relax.
56
00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:14,909
I'm just nervous!
57
00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:17,078
I want you guys to like
him and him to like you,
58
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but, more importantly, him to like you.
59
00:02:18,831 --> 00:02:19,914
- Uh-huh.
- Mm.
60
00:02:19,915 --> 00:02:21,716
Oh, I'm sure he will.
61
00:02:21,717 --> 00:02:23,251
Something amusing happened at work today
62
00:02:23,252 --> 00:02:25,303
that I think he'll enjoy.
63
00:02:25,304 --> 00:02:27,305
I was working on a patient... Mr. king...
64
00:02:27,306 --> 00:02:29,924
and as I was placing a crown
on his incisor, I said,
65
00:02:29,925 --> 00:02:33,811
"you know, I've never
crowned a king before."
66
00:02:39,986 --> 00:02:43,321
You want me to die alone, don't you?
67
00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:44,606
I can't wait to meet this guy.
68
00:02:44,607 --> 00:02:46,441
I could use a congressman in my pocket...
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00:02:46,442 --> 00:02:48,276
someone who can open doors,
70
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grease the wheels, make things happen,
71
00:02:50,112 --> 00:02:53,665
or, if need be, make things go away.
72
00:02:55,669 --> 00:02:58,870
What are you looking for? A muzzle.
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Hey, hey, hey!
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00:02:59,872 --> 00:03:01,623
Oh, finally you're here.
75
00:03:01,624 --> 00:03:03,625
Yes, Holly, I'm here for you,
but I got to tell you,
76
00:03:03,626 --> 00:03:05,627
I'm not a fan of politicians.
77
00:03:05,628 --> 00:03:07,462
You only see them when they're
sucking up for the black vote,
78
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:08,713
you know?
79
00:03:08,714 --> 00:03:10,265
They stroll into the neighborhood,
80
00:03:10,266 --> 00:03:11,766
shoot a few jump shots,
81
00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:14,135
eat some popeyes, and then it's,
82
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"catch you in four years, bro. Word."
83
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God, you know, Phil,
84
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I've never heard you be so political.
85
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,277
Why now?
86
00:03:22,278 --> 00:03:24,395
[Gasps] Charles. Ah, hello, beautiful.
87
00:03:24,396 --> 00:03:26,481
Hi.
88
00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:29,984
Uh, guys, I want you to meet
congressman Charles hayward,
89
00:03:29,985 --> 00:03:33,905
or as I called him on vacation,
tickle me Charles.
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00:03:33,906 --> 00:03:34,989
Hello, congressman.
91
00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:36,374
Oh, no, please, call me Chuck.
92
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:37,875
There's no need for formalities.
93
00:03:37,876 --> 00:03:40,962
I'm Dr. Stuart Gardner.
94
00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:43,331
The dentist... yeah, Holly's
told me all about you.
95
00:03:43,332 --> 00:03:44,999
I have you to thank for her smile.
96
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,803
Oh, no, I think we have you
to thank for her smile.
97
00:03:48,804 --> 00:03:50,138
Stuart.
98
00:03:50,139 --> 00:03:51,589
You know, something amusing
happened at work...
99
00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:53,641
and this is Haskell.
100
00:03:53,642 --> 00:03:56,844
Haskell Lutz, a dear,
dear friend of Holly's.
101
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,229
Pleasure to meet you, Haskell.
102
00:03:58,230 --> 00:03:59,597
Any friend of Holly's is a friend of mine.
103
00:03:59,598 --> 00:04:01,015
Well, I'm glad to hear that, Chuck.
104
00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:04,402
Now, uh, let's say
that the FDA was on my back
105
00:04:04,403 --> 00:04:06,688
for selling
freeze-dried breast milk online.
106
00:04:06,689 --> 00:04:08,022
Okay, all right, okay.
107
00:04:08,023 --> 00:04:09,824
Didn't I tell you he was a character?
108
00:04:09,825 --> 00:04:11,526
And you must be Phil.
109
00:04:11,527 --> 00:04:15,947
[Scoffs] Why is that, huh?
110
00:04:15,948 --> 00:04:17,865
Why must I be Phil?
111
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Because I already met Stuart and Haskell.
112
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Oh.
113
00:04:26,208 --> 00:04:29,043
So Holly tells me you just
started your own sports agency?
114
00:04:29,044 --> 00:04:32,347
Small businesses like yours
are the backbone of our economy.
115
00:04:32,348 --> 00:04:34,882
America could use more Phil Chases.
116
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:38,353
You're an impressive man.
117
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I love this guy.
118
00:04:41,223 --> 00:04:42,774
Hey, man, what do you say
we shoot some hoops,
119
00:04:42,775 --> 00:04:44,809
maybe get some popeyes?
120
00:04:47,197 --> 00:04:48,730
Well, looks like you won them over,
121
00:04:48,731 --> 00:04:50,815
- just like you won me over.
- Oh, well, that's good.
122
00:04:50,816 --> 00:04:53,368
Although I'm not sure I'm ready
to spoon with them in a hammock.
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00:04:53,369 --> 00:04:54,485
[Laughs]
124
00:04:54,486 --> 00:04:57,655
- Charles?
- Oh, Victoria.
125
00:04:57,656 --> 00:04:59,791
Uh, everyone, this is my chief of staff,
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00:04:59,792 --> 00:05:01,459
the real brains behind the operation.
127
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,494
I'm just the suit and the haircut.
128
00:05:03,495 --> 00:05:06,214
Don't quote me on that. [Laughter]
129
00:05:06,215 --> 00:05:08,249
Seriously, don't quote him on that.
130
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:09,417
Don't.
131
00:05:09,418 --> 00:05:11,336
I'm going to assume you are Holly.
132
00:05:11,337 --> 00:05:12,754
Yes. Hi, nice to meet you.
133
00:05:12,755 --> 00:05:15,757
And these are my friends...
uh, Phil, Haskell, and Stuart.
134
00:05:15,758 --> 00:05:18,426
Hello. Hello.
135
00:05:18,427 --> 00:05:19,594
[Sultry voice] Hello.
136
00:05:22,565 --> 00:05:24,432
So, Victoria, what brings you by?
137
00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:27,568
- Oh, actually, I need a word.
- Oh, yeah, of course.
138
00:05:27,569 --> 00:05:29,604
You two must have
political whatnots to discuss.
139
00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:32,273
- I meant with you.
- With me?
140
00:05:32,274 --> 00:05:33,908
You want to have whatnots with me?
141
00:05:33,909 --> 00:05:36,744
Okay. Sure.
142
00:05:36,745 --> 00:05:38,696
I'll get right to the point.
143
00:05:38,697 --> 00:05:40,948
It seems the congressman has developed
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some affection for you.
145
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:45,787
Ooh, ooh, what'd he say? What'd he say?
146
00:05:45,788 --> 00:05:48,172
I-I believe I just said it.
147
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,792
Now, uh, tomorrow night the
congressman will be attending
148
00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:52,677
the ribbon cutting of a community center,
149
00:05:52,678 --> 00:05:54,462
and we would like to use the opportunity
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00:05:54,463 --> 00:05:56,681
to properly launch your relationship.
151
00:05:56,682 --> 00:05:59,634
I'm being launched.
152
00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:00,802
I'll be at your office tomorrow
153
00:06:00,803 --> 00:06:02,687
we'll go over a few minor adjustments
154
00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:03,888
to shape your public image.
155
00:06:03,889 --> 00:06:08,393
My public image. [Laughing obnoxiously]
156
00:06:08,394 --> 00:06:10,978
We'll start with that laugh.
157
00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:18,863
Hey! Look who's back from vacation.
158
00:06:18,864 --> 00:06:21,116
I'm in love, Eden!
159
00:06:21,117 --> 00:06:23,952
I found my man, and not just any man...
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00:06:23,953 --> 00:06:26,204
A congressman.
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00:06:26,205 --> 00:06:28,790
He is a cutie. You two
look adorable together.
162
00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:30,875
Oh, you caught that little
blurb in The Post?
163
00:06:30,876 --> 00:06:34,429
What do you mean caught it?
You told me to buy 50 copies.
164
00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:36,548
Good, good! You know, on your break,
165
00:06:36,549 --> 00:06:37,932
scatter them around the lunch room
166
00:06:37,933 --> 00:06:39,884
so the paralegals have
something to dream about
167
00:06:39,885 --> 00:06:43,855
over their sad little sandwiches.
168
00:06:43,856 --> 00:06:46,274
Look, I updated your wedding folder.
169
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,309
I glued Charles's face next to your face
170
00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:49,944
on the picture of the bride and groom.
171
00:06:49,945 --> 00:06:51,279
- Aw.
- Here you are
172
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,031
walking down the aisle,
173
00:06:53,032 --> 00:06:54,315
exchanging vows,
174
00:06:54,316 --> 00:06:56,067
moving into your dream house,
175
00:06:56,068 --> 00:07:00,455
and look how cute your composite baby is!
176
00:07:00,456 --> 00:07:03,491
All right, you can retire
the wedding folder.
177
00:07:03,492 --> 00:07:04,826
But you're booked to get
married at the lake house
178
00:07:04,827 --> 00:07:05,994
in three weeks.
179
00:07:05,995 --> 00:07:07,495
Well, there's been a change of plans.
180
00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:08,913
I don't want to scare Charles off
181
00:07:08,914 --> 00:07:10,081
by rushing it.
182
00:07:10,082 --> 00:07:11,082
So get rid of that thing.
183
00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:12,717
It makes me look like a complete psycho.
184
00:07:12,718 --> 00:07:16,171
Besides, composite baby's freaking me out.
185
00:07:17,507 --> 00:07:19,424
- Well, Victoria.
- Holly.
186
00:07:19,425 --> 00:07:22,977
Eden, this is Charles's chief
of staff, Victoria Chaplin.
187
00:07:22,978 --> 00:07:25,513
And this is my chief of
staff, Eden Kunkler.
188
00:07:25,514 --> 00:07:27,232
Oh, we're stopping for pleasantries.
189
00:07:27,233 --> 00:07:28,566
Hello. Hi.
190
00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:30,602
I'm going to need Holly's schedule
191
00:07:30,603 --> 00:07:32,854
for the month, her bio, and a P.R. Photo.
192
00:07:32,855 --> 00:07:35,023
Okay, I'll put her staff right on it.
193
00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:36,191
Come on, staff.
194
00:07:36,192 --> 00:07:39,360
[Laughing] It's me.
195
00:07:42,449 --> 00:07:43,498
- Holly?
- Yes.
196
00:07:43,499 --> 00:07:44,833
Since we only have a few minutes
197
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:46,668
before the congressman arrives
to take you to lunch,
198
00:07:46,669 --> 00:07:48,169
I'd like to... he's taking me to lunch?
199
00:07:48,170 --> 00:07:49,704
I love how spontaneous he is.
200
00:07:49,705 --> 00:07:51,256
Yes, his meeting was pushed back an hour,
201
00:07:51,257 --> 00:07:53,208
so I scheduled some spontaneity.
202
00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:56,044
Anyway, uh, for your rollout tonight,
203
00:07:56,045 --> 00:07:58,713
we're looking to sell "smart professional."
204
00:07:58,714 --> 00:08:01,516
We'd like you to wear a
knee-length to tea-length skirt,
205
00:08:01,517 --> 00:08:04,102
neutral panty hose, matte flats,
and, of course, pearls.
206
00:08:04,103 --> 00:08:05,603
Okay.
207
00:08:05,604 --> 00:08:08,189
You know I once went as Nancy
Reagan for Halloween.
208
00:08:08,190 --> 00:08:12,610
I had a little pin
that said "just say boo."
209
00:08:12,611 --> 00:08:14,529
Holly, congressman
Charles hayward to see you.
210
00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:16,114
- Oh.
- Hi, Holly.
211
00:08:16,115 --> 00:08:17,115
Hi, Charles.
212
00:08:17,116 --> 00:08:19,617
- Mwah.
- Mm.
213
00:08:19,618 --> 00:08:21,202
Impressive office... Oh.
214
00:08:21,203 --> 00:08:23,371
Almost as impressive as the woman in it.
215
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,622
Oh, stop.
216
00:08:24,623 --> 00:08:26,624
And as you know, when I say,
"stop," I mean, "more."
217
00:08:26,625 --> 00:08:28,710
Charles, you better get a move on.
218
00:08:28,711 --> 00:08:30,128
We have a very tight schedule today.
219
00:08:30,129 --> 00:08:33,548
Oh, is it okay if I pencil in a kiss?
220
00:08:33,549 --> 00:08:36,467
And now we're behind.
221
00:08:36,468 --> 00:08:38,336
Charles, I booked your usual table
222
00:08:38,337 --> 00:08:40,638
and took the liberty of ordering for you.
223
00:08:40,639 --> 00:08:42,056
She orders your food for you?
224
00:08:42,057 --> 00:08:44,259
If it would save time,
she'd chew it for me too.
225
00:08:44,260 --> 00:08:45,977
[Laughing obnoxiously]
226
00:08:45,978 --> 00:08:49,430
[Laughs demurely]
227
00:08:49,431 --> 00:08:51,933
Victoria, as requested,
here is Holly's schedule,
228
00:08:51,934 --> 00:08:54,068
- her bio, and a P.R. Photo.
- Very good.
229
00:08:54,069 --> 00:08:55,820
I'll put these on the congressman's desk.
230
00:08:55,821 --> 00:08:57,822
We'll go over them
first thing in the morning.
231
00:08:57,823 --> 00:09:01,276
But tonight you party. Am I right?
232
00:09:01,277 --> 00:09:03,862
- [Laughs]
- No.
233
00:09:05,532 --> 00:09:08,533
[Screeches like a cat]
234
00:09:12,589 --> 00:09:15,456
Oh, no, I gave her
the psycho wedding folder.
235
00:09:23,718 --> 00:09:24,967
Hey, Eden, what's wrong?
236
00:09:24,968 --> 00:09:26,519
It wasn't my fault. I didn't mean to do it.
237
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,138
It could've happened to anybody.
238
00:09:29,139 --> 00:09:30,723
I'm on it. Work on your alibi.
239
00:09:30,724 --> 00:09:33,726
I'll go get the bleach and the tarp.
240
00:09:33,727 --> 00:09:36,062
No, no, no, no! Nobody's dead.
241
00:09:36,063 --> 00:09:38,648
Although when Holly finds
out what I did, I will be!
242
00:09:38,649 --> 00:09:40,116
Okay, calm down, Eden.
243
00:09:40,117 --> 00:09:42,702
I'm sure whatever it is, it's not that bad.
244
00:09:42,703 --> 00:09:45,121
Okay, you know that wedding
folder that Holly has?
245
00:09:45,122 --> 00:09:48,124
Uh, you mean the voodoo file
with all the cutout heads?
246
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:50,376
Yeah, what about it?
247
00:09:50,377 --> 00:09:53,079
I accidentally gave it
to Charles's chief of staff.
248
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,381
- Oh!
- I know!
249
00:09:55,382 --> 00:09:58,417
I know. If Charles sees it,
he'll think that she's crazy,
250
00:09:58,418 --> 00:09:59,752
and he'll break up with her.
251
00:09:59,753 --> 00:10:02,338
And then she'll come for me!
252
00:10:02,339 --> 00:10:04,891
It'll be like a lion toying with a mouse.
253
00:10:04,892 --> 00:10:06,893
She'll bat me around with her giant paws,
254
00:10:06,894 --> 00:10:10,346
wait for me to come to,
then start all over again.
255
00:10:10,347 --> 00:10:12,265
Hey, guys... oh, hey, Eden,
what are you doing here?
256
00:10:12,266 --> 00:10:13,849
Nothing. Just, you know, whatever.
257
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:16,485
Hey.
258
00:10:16,486 --> 00:10:18,154
Well, I just got a call from Charles.
259
00:10:18,155 --> 00:10:19,155
- Really?
- Yeah.
260
00:10:19,156 --> 00:10:20,406
He wants you all to come tonight
261
00:10:20,407 --> 00:10:22,191
to the opening of a community center.
262
00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:23,859
It's going to provide much needed services
263
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:25,444
for seniors, kids, blah, blah, blah.
264
00:10:25,445 --> 00:10:27,196
But, more importantly,
265
00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:30,366
it's my rollout as the congressman's
girlfriend.
266
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:32,868
Ah, I never thought I'd be this happy.
267
00:10:32,869 --> 00:10:34,870
Okay, well, remember this feeling
268
00:10:34,871 --> 00:10:38,507
and never let it go...
269
00:10:38,508 --> 00:10:41,210
Never.
270
00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:45,047
Oh, you're just like a little
hallmark card, aren't you?
271
00:10:47,302 --> 00:10:50,303
We got to get that file back
before the congressman sees it.
272
00:10:50,304 --> 00:10:52,471
Break into an official government office?
273
00:10:52,472 --> 00:10:54,807
Okay. Guys, I'll see you in the yard.
274
00:10:54,808 --> 00:10:58,978
I'll be the shirtless dude
with the do-rag on.
275
00:10:58,979 --> 00:11:01,564
I say we go in at night, hack the alarm,
276
00:11:01,565 --> 00:11:02,815
crawl through the duct work,
277
00:11:02,816 --> 00:11:05,568
and lower Eden down on a fishing rod.
278
00:11:05,569 --> 00:11:08,321
Show of hands, who owns a black unitard?
279
00:11:08,322 --> 00:11:10,990
- Yeah. -
Here's a crazy thought-
280
00:11:10,991 --> 00:11:13,326
why don't we just go over there
and take it off of his desk
281
00:11:13,327 --> 00:11:14,410
when no one's looking?
282
00:11:14,411 --> 00:11:15,461
- I vote for that.
- Me too.
283
00:11:15,462 --> 00:11:17,964
Then let's do it!
284
00:11:17,965 --> 00:11:19,332
I'm gonna need that congressman,
285
00:11:19,333 --> 00:11:20,750
or else I can kiss
286
00:11:20,751 --> 00:11:23,469
that freeze-dried breast
milk good-bye.
287
00:11:29,477 --> 00:11:30,559
Hi, Victoria.
288
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,928
You remember Phil, Stuart, and Haskell.
289
00:11:32,929 --> 00:11:35,514
Hello, Stuart.
290
00:11:35,515 --> 00:11:36,649
What are you all doing here?
291
00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:38,234
I don't have anything on the books.
292
00:11:38,235 --> 00:11:39,769
Oh, well, we were just in the neighborhood,
293
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:40,853
and we thought we'd stop by
294
00:11:40,854 --> 00:11:42,355
and get a photo with the congressman.
295
00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:43,606
- He's not in.
- Oh.
296
00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:46,242
Oh. Okay, well, perhaps
a picture in his office.
297
00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:48,027
That's not our policy.
298
00:11:48,028 --> 00:11:50,363
Please, Victoria, it'll only take a minute.
299
00:11:50,364 --> 00:11:54,617
Well, I suppose it wouldn't
hurt to bend the rules.
300
00:11:54,618 --> 00:11:58,287
At times, I can be surprisingly flexible.
301
00:11:59,707 --> 00:12:03,125
Let me just tidy up the office.
302
00:12:03,126 --> 00:12:04,210
[Door closes]
303
00:12:04,211 --> 00:12:05,711
How are we going to look for the file
304
00:12:05,712 --> 00:12:07,463
if she's in there with us?
305
00:12:07,464 --> 00:12:09,382
We need a way to distract Victoria.
306
00:12:09,383 --> 00:12:13,269
We've got one... Stuart.
307
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:15,304
- Me?
- Yeah, she's into you, man.
308
00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:18,224
Just flirt with her,
turn on that Stuart charm.
309
00:12:18,225 --> 00:12:22,611
It wears thin, but she doesn't know that.
310
00:12:22,612 --> 00:12:24,313
I did not go to dental school
311
00:12:24,314 --> 00:12:26,732
to be anybody's dime-store Johnny.
312
00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:27,950
Besides, I can't pretend
313
00:12:27,951 --> 00:12:29,735
to be attracted to someone when I'm not.
314
00:12:29,736 --> 00:12:32,988
I've got to feel it in here.
315
00:12:32,989 --> 00:12:37,243
All right, now, you listen, cinderella.
316
00:12:37,244 --> 00:12:40,046
Holly's happiness and
my life are at stake here.
317
00:12:40,047 --> 00:12:41,163
So sack up and do what women
318
00:12:41,164 --> 00:12:43,332
have done for thousands of years...
319
00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:45,000
fake it.
320
00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:46,836
All right, I'll show you in now.
321
00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:47,837
- Okay.
- All right.
322
00:12:47,838 --> 00:12:50,389
Okay.
323
00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:53,392
Uh, Victoria, a word? Yes, Stuart.
324
00:12:53,393 --> 00:12:56,645
Uh, while they look at the
congressman's office,
325
00:12:56,646 --> 00:13:01,100
why don't you show me yours?
326
00:13:01,101 --> 00:13:04,520
Anything special you'd like to see?
327
00:13:04,521 --> 00:13:07,156
How about we start...
328
00:13:07,157 --> 00:13:10,993
With the lamp?
329
00:13:10,994 --> 00:13:13,028
And by "lamp," you mean...
330
00:13:13,029 --> 00:13:15,698
The object when plugged into the wall
331
00:13:15,699 --> 00:13:18,584
illuminates the room.
332
00:13:18,585 --> 00:13:20,202
You know, when you leave it on too long,
333
00:13:20,203 --> 00:13:24,507
it generates a surprising amount of heat.
334
00:13:24,508 --> 00:13:26,709
That's why I keep mine...
335
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:28,878
On a timer.
336
00:13:33,101 --> 00:13:34,350
She said she'd put it on the desk,
337
00:13:34,351 --> 00:13:36,018
it's not on the desk. Where the hell is it?
338
00:13:36,019 --> 00:13:38,053
So this is what it feels like
to be a congressman, huh?
339
00:13:38,054 --> 00:13:42,441
[Chuckles] I suddenly have
the urge to tweet my wanger.
340
00:13:42,442 --> 00:13:43,776
Hey! Look at this!
341
00:13:43,777 --> 00:13:45,194
- You found the file?
- No!
342
00:13:45,195 --> 00:13:47,563
B-but I found the congressman's stationery
343
00:13:47,564 --> 00:13:48,781
and his signature stamp.
344
00:13:48,782 --> 00:13:50,399
This way if things go south with Holly,
345
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,235
I can still get him to write
letters on my behalf.
346
00:13:53,236 --> 00:13:54,820
Yes! Good-bye, jury duty.
347
00:13:54,821 --> 00:13:56,489
Good-bye, misdemeanors.
348
00:13:56,490 --> 00:14:00,459
Hello, permit for helper monkey!
349
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:04,079
Look, there's a box
of files under the desk.
350
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,415
- Is it in there?
- I'm looking. I'm looking.
351
00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:07,967
[Gasps] Found it!
352
00:14:07,968 --> 00:14:10,169
[Bangs head] Ow!
353
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:11,804
What is going on?
354
00:14:11,805 --> 00:14:13,889
[Gasps]
355
00:14:21,649 --> 00:14:23,649
Hi, hi.
356
00:14:23,650 --> 00:14:25,818
What are you doing?
357
00:14:25,819 --> 00:14:29,989
Playing politician.
358
00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:31,440
Uh, come on, Victoria,
359
00:14:31,441 --> 00:14:33,025
you were just about to show me your couch.
360
00:14:33,026 --> 00:14:35,194
And by couch, I mean
the upholstered seating
361
00:14:35,195 --> 00:14:37,530
for two or more people.
362
00:14:37,531 --> 00:14:40,032
Well, we really have taken up
enough of your time. See you.
363
00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:41,617
What do you have behind your back?
364
00:14:41,618 --> 00:14:44,920
Nothing!
365
00:14:44,921 --> 00:14:46,922
What is this?
366
00:14:46,923 --> 00:14:50,259
Some kind of wedding folder?
367
00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:52,428
Why are Holly and the congressman's faces
368
00:14:52,429 --> 00:14:54,797
glued to these pictures?
369
00:14:54,798 --> 00:14:59,602
And who is this grotesque baby?
370
00:14:59,603 --> 00:15:00,970
It's kind of a long story,
371
00:15:00,971 --> 00:15:03,772
but Holly is booked to get
married in three weeks,
372
00:15:03,773 --> 00:15:06,775
and she was hoping to find a groom by then.
373
00:15:06,776 --> 00:15:09,278
And she expects the
congressman to be that groom?
374
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:12,698
Well, yes. I mean, no.
375
00:15:12,699 --> 00:15:14,233
I know. It all sounds crazy.
376
00:15:14,234 --> 00:15:16,869
"Crazy"? It's fantastic.
377
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:20,573
- "Fantastic"?
- Yes.
378
00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:22,157
We're planning a senate run in the fall,
379
00:15:22,158 --> 00:15:25,578
and a wife will give him
a 20% bump in the polls.
380
00:15:25,579 --> 00:15:27,663
How do you know Charles
would agree to this?
381
00:15:27,664 --> 00:15:30,132
Because he'd do anything
to get in the senate.
382
00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:33,168
Holly is a political godsend.
383
00:15:33,169 --> 00:15:36,171
I'm positively giddy.
384
00:15:43,732 --> 00:15:45,098
Hey, did you get a hold of Holly?
385
00:15:45,099 --> 00:15:46,983
No, she's not picking up.
386
00:15:46,984 --> 00:15:48,652
We have to tell her what Charles is up to
387
00:15:48,653 --> 00:15:50,403
before they go public
with their relationship.
388
00:15:50,404 --> 00:15:51,605
I can't believe he would marry her
389
00:15:51,606 --> 00:15:53,022
just to further his political career.
390
00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:54,774
What about romance? What about magic?
391
00:15:54,775 --> 00:15:55,992
What about me?
392
00:15:55,993 --> 00:15:57,277
I need my picture taken with him,
393
00:15:57,278 --> 00:15:59,412
otherwise our close, personal friendship
394
00:15:59,413 --> 00:16:03,033
will seem like something I just made up.
395
00:16:03,034 --> 00:16:06,503
- Okay, and stop for pictures.
- Oh.
396
00:16:06,504 --> 00:16:09,673
We smile. Look at Charles lovingly.
397
00:16:09,674 --> 00:16:12,592
We wave to crowd.
398
00:16:12,593 --> 00:16:14,293
And now we small talk.
399
00:16:14,294 --> 00:16:16,379
Oh, yes. Hello. How are you?
400
00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:17,964
Nice to see you.
401
00:16:17,965 --> 00:16:20,300
What a lovely center, isn't it?
402
00:16:20,301 --> 00:16:24,187
Check out those handrails in the bathroom.
403
00:16:24,188 --> 00:16:25,555
You're doing great.
404
00:16:25,556 --> 00:16:27,524
I'm so proud to have you by my side.
405
00:16:27,525 --> 00:16:28,525
Aw.
406
00:16:28,526 --> 00:16:30,193
Okay, there she is.
407
00:16:30,194 --> 00:16:33,646
Now, how do we get her away
from Charles and giggles?
408
00:16:33,647 --> 00:16:35,398
Don't worry. I'll take care of Chuck.
409
00:16:35,399 --> 00:16:38,368
Stuart, get busy with Victoria.
410
00:16:38,369 --> 00:16:39,986
All right.
411
00:16:39,987 --> 00:16:43,490
Since it's for Holly, I
will put on some mental fishnets
412
00:16:43,491 --> 00:16:44,824
and shake my money maker.
413
00:16:48,497 --> 00:16:49,963
Hello, Victoria.
414
00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:51,464
Hello, Stuart.
415
00:16:51,465 --> 00:16:54,834
Any chance I can steal you
away for a glass of bubbly?
416
00:16:54,835 --> 00:16:57,219
Can you make it quick?
417
00:16:57,220 --> 00:17:01,007
"Quick" is my middle name.
418
00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:03,009
There's the happy couple.
419
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,928
- Ah, hey, buddy.
- Hey.
420
00:17:04,929 --> 00:17:06,846
Holly, you mind if I borrow
the congressman for a second?
421
00:17:06,847 --> 00:17:08,898
Oh, well, not now. We're kind of busy.
422
00:17:08,899 --> 00:17:10,483
Too busy for a photo op?
423
00:17:10,484 --> 00:17:13,019
Look, it's a demographic dream team.
424
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:16,690
Asian, Jewish, hispanic,
and, to top it off, Indian.
425
00:17:16,691 --> 00:17:19,408
[Whistles] Okay, Holly, I'll be right back.
426
00:17:22,748 --> 00:17:25,365
Hey, let me in! I'm one-quarter eskimo!
427
00:17:26,918 --> 00:17:28,001
Hi, Holly.
428
00:17:28,002 --> 00:17:30,503
Hi, Eden. Isn't it amazing?
429
00:17:30,504 --> 00:17:32,922
Just a few weeks ago, I was
on that singles' cruise,
430
00:17:32,923 --> 00:17:36,543
the S.S. Loser Tania, and
now I'm with Charles!
431
00:17:36,544 --> 00:17:39,346
[Sighs] I feel like I'm dreaming.
432
00:17:39,347 --> 00:17:41,681
Holly, there's something I got to tell you.
433
00:17:41,682 --> 00:17:43,550
Oh, no. "Something I got to tell you"?
434
00:17:43,551 --> 00:17:45,017
That's never good.
435
00:17:45,018 --> 00:17:46,636
I-I don't know how to put this.
436
00:17:46,637 --> 00:17:48,605
Oh, that's even worse!
437
00:17:48,606 --> 00:17:49,856
There's something you need to know.
438
00:17:49,857 --> 00:17:50,890
Oh, no!
439
00:17:50,891 --> 00:17:52,108
Not the "something you need to know."
440
00:17:52,109 --> 00:17:54,694
I don't want to know.
441
00:17:54,695 --> 00:17:57,364
I accidentally gave your wedding folder
442
00:17:57,365 --> 00:17:59,449
to Victoria.
443
00:17:59,450 --> 00:18:01,567
You did what?
444
00:18:01,568 --> 00:18:03,620
She's seen everything...
the pictures, the lake house,
445
00:18:03,621 --> 00:18:05,038
the plan to get married in three weeks.
446
00:18:05,039 --> 00:18:06,122
Oh, my god.
447
00:18:06,123 --> 00:18:08,124
And the worst part is she loves it.
448
00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:09,459
Huh?
449
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:11,711
Turns out Charles is making
a run for the senate,
450
00:18:11,712 --> 00:18:14,714
and he needs a wife to broaden his appeal.
451
00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:16,249
Victoria said that he would marry you
452
00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:19,218
just to further his own political career.
453
00:18:19,219 --> 00:18:21,254
- Ooh.
- It's showtime.
454
00:18:21,255 --> 00:18:23,390
Yeah, uh...
455
00:18:23,391 --> 00:18:25,392
But...
456
00:18:25,393 --> 00:18:29,129
This center represents a new
beginning for the community,
457
00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:30,897
and I am happy to declare it
458
00:18:30,898 --> 00:18:34,351
officially open.
459
00:18:34,352 --> 00:18:37,854
[Applause]
460
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:40,190
And while we're on the subject
of new beginnings,
461
00:18:40,191 --> 00:18:42,107
I'd like to introduce you
all to Holly Franklin.
462
00:18:42,108 --> 00:18:44,110
Holly, come on down.
463
00:18:44,111 --> 00:18:46,079
I expect to do great things
464
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,931
with this wonderful woman by my side...
465
00:18:47,932 --> 00:18:49,046
Oh.
466
00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:50,630
Which is why...
467
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:53,300
I'd like to make her my wife.
468
00:18:53,301 --> 00:18:56,136
Holly...
469
00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:57,938
Will you marry me?
470
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,312
Yes!
471
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:10,912
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