All language subtitles for The Exes s04e08 Requiem for a Dream.eng

Oh, good, you're all here.

My firm is hosting a charity dinner tonight

to send underprivileged children to camp,

and I completely forgot to invite

the three most important men in my life.

So would you care to attend?

- No.
- Sorry.

Well, too bad, you're going.

I bought an entire table,
and everyone I invited bailed.

I can't sit alone.

I'll look more needy than those kids.

So, why don't you bail?

Because those charity things
are always stocked with men.

I'm getting married in two months,

I need a groom.

So basically you're just
using underprivileged children

as a ploy to snag a husband.

Congratulations, Stuart,
you cracked the code.

Suits and tie. See you at 8:00.

Synced and corrected by brayanatsix and chamallow
www.addic7ed.com

So, Haskell, see anything
you want to bid on?

Well, I do have my eye
on this cop ride-along.

Yeah, joining the boys in blue,

patrolling the greedy streets of New York.

Plus they give you a badge and whistle.

Well, step up and make a bid.

Well, it has been my lifelong dream.

[Chuckling]

Eight bucks.

Haskell, you just changed a kid's life.

- He is not going to camp.
- Oh.

Holly.

Holly. Guess what?

They're auctioning off
a private cooking lesson

with Robert Thomas. He's a culinary god.

Well, at least you found a man.

The only ones I've seen are

married, divorced, bitter or gay.

One guy was all of them.

Listen, learning from Chef Thomas would be

the first step in fulfilling my dream.

One day I plan on opening
up my own restaurant,

"La petite maison de
Stuart dans le jardin."

[Chuckles]

You know, nothing too pretentious.

Right.

Hey, Stuart, check it out.

Dinner with Caren Dupree.

Remember her? She played Mrs. Morgan

on that classic '80s sitcom, the Morgans.

Yeah, yeah, I remember that show.

I used to watch it
after badminton practice.

You are whiter than the color white.

- The Morgans were like my second family.
- Mm.

Yeah, every time the kids screwed up,

Mrs. Morgan would always be like,

"wake up and smell the bacon."

[Chuckling] That's right, that's right.

And they had that great
theme song, remember?

Okay, you people, get in your finals bids.

And I'd like to repeat,
for some of you handsy guys,

I am not an auction item.

[Sneezes]

Oh, I'm sorry. You know,
with this super flu,

I probably should have stayed home.

But it's for the kids.

[Sniffles]

Okay, let's see who won
the police ride-along.

Well, it's kinda hard to
read. It's a little wet.

Um, but I believe the
winner is Haskell Lutz.

I'm gonna be a cop! I'm gonna be a cop!

Oh, unh, unh, unh, unh. Hey, hey!

We got a problem?

We got a problem?

Okay, and the winner with the dinner

with Caren Dupree is Phil Chase.

Ha-ha! I won!

Eden,

who is that hottie in
the Chef Boyardee outfit?

That's Robert Thomas. He's
catering the event tonight.

In fact, he's the big prize.

Oh, yes he is.

Holly, I'm the high bidder
on the cooking lesson.

Give me that clipboard!

What are you doing? I told you cooking

with Robert Thomas is my dream.

Sorry, cookie, he's my dream now.

You know what? That is low, even for you.

Hmm. Oh, you know what's not low?

The clipboard!

Look at how much these two
want to help the children.

It... it's simply inspiring.

Stop it, you idiots!

- What's... what's going on?
- Oh.

Oh, uh, Chef, I'm your biggest fan.

I want to learn from you.

And I really want to study under you too.

Well, since you're each so...

passionate, I have a proposal.

If you both pay the top amount,

you can share the lesson.

That way, you win, and so do the children.

Then let's do it for the children.

[Chuckles]

Yes, the children.

I'd make a great mom.

I was, uh, told to report here, Officer.

I'm Haskell Lutz.

Officer Wilson. You're my ride-along?

Affirmative. [Chuckles]

Hey, uh, can I get my badge and whistle?

I was told I get a badge and whistle.

Really?

We're doing the badge and whistle?

[Chuckles] Oh boy, oh boy.

[Mutters]

You blow that in the car, we're done here.

We've got a 10-50, vicinity
of 82th and First, copy?

10-50, that's a suspected break-in..

Let's roll.

The is car 617. We're
on a code eight, over.

Code eight, what's that?

Uh, robbery? Drug deal?

Bathroom break.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm good.

Okay, here's the deal.

This is my last day on the job.

I've put in my 20,

and now the wife and I are headed
down to Boca open a Supercuts.

So, we're just going to
take a nice leisurely drive.

Maybe stop off for some sugar-free fro-yo.

But I wanna see some cop action.

Bust a perp, you know,
shake down a stoolie.

Get some free produce from
a thankful immigrant grocer.

Fine, you can hit the sirens.

[Siren blaring]

Okay, that's enough.

[Knocking]

Oh, it's you.

You think I'm happy about this?

My one chance to be recognized
by a world-class chef,

and I have to share it
with a woman who thinks

haute cuisine is food
cooked by prostitutes.

There's no need to get snippy, all right?

I know it's not ideal, but

at least we can act civilized.

- [Knocking]
- [Gasps]

Oh, hello, Robert.

- Welcome, Chef.
- Hi.

First of all, I want to thank you both

for your generous
contribution to a worthy cause,

and I know you're going
to get a lot out of this.

Oh, I know I will.

Me too.

Okay, looks like everything's set up.

Now let's get cooking.

First,

I thought we'd start
with a deceptively simple

pasta primavera.

Ooh, sounds romantic!

Let's begin by dicing a carrot.

Excellent knife work, Stuart.

Thank you, Chef.

Holly, let's see your technique.

Okay.

Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly.

Holly, we're looking for
more of a gentle slice

- and less of a vendetta.
- Oh.

Done, Chef.

Stuart, you're so good at this.

I'm afraid I'm gonna need
more hands-on instruction.

Well, that's, uh, that's what I'm here for.

- Right.
- Allow me.

Easy chop.

Good

Thin slices.

You must be Phil.

Oh, my god, Mrs. Morgan!

[Laughs]

How'd you know it was me?

Well, you're the only grown man

- in here with a lunch box.
- [Chuckles]

- I took a shot.
- Oh.

I'm just so nervous,
I... please, have a seat.

I can't believe I'm having dinner

- with Mrs. Morgan.
- [Chuckles]

I gotta tell you, your show,

it meant so much to me growing up.

You're kinda like my second mom.

Oh, that's so sweet.

That makes me feel good,

and old.

I... I'm sorry. I... I
didn't mean it that way.

Oh, relax, Phil. I'm just funnin' with you.

[Chuckles] Mrs. Morgan is just

funnin' with me. [Chuckles]

Whoo! [Chuckles]

Your show

had such an impact on me

growing up.

Do you remember that episode, season six,

when you caught Marcus on the roof

smoking cigarettes with his buddies.

And he was like, "I only did
it because everyone else did."

And then you said to him,

you remember what you said, don't you?

I said,

"wake up smell the bacon."

- Yes, you did.
- [Both laughing]

You sure you don't want
to try the strawberry?

It's very tasty.

Well, what are we doing
back at the station?

I paid for the whole night.

My shift is done.

Another officer will be taking over.

I hope you've enjoyed your ride-along.

Yeah, it's been my lifelong dream

to watch a cop eat a waffle cone.

[Sighs]

Hey, buddy. Name's Burke.

Haskell Lutz, your ride-along.

Whoa, ride-along. No can do.

When you sit in that passenger seat,

you're my partner. [Clicks tongue]

- Wow, that's great. 'Cause I've always want...
- Shut it!

Here are the rules.

Whatever happens in this car,

whatever you see in this car,

whatever you hear his
car, stays in this car.

Do you have a problem with that?

No, sir.

You got a kevlar vest under that?

N... n... just a cotton-poly tee.

Am I gonna need one?

- Only if your number's up.
- [Laughing]

- [Tires squealing]
- [Screams]

Chef, I am adding

precisely one tablespoon of
herbes de Provence to the sauce.

I invite your critique.

If I was hanging wallpaper I'd be thrilled/

It's viscous and lumpy.

Thank you, Chef.

Robert, [Grunts]

I can't for the life of me,
seem to get this cork out.

Can you help?

Just ease it here.

Both: Aah!

Would you care to join me for a drink?

I'd love to.

[Phone ringing]

- Excuse me.
- Yes.

Robert?

I see what you're doing
with your little wine stunt,

but it's not gonna work.
I'm winning his attention,

- and his respect.
- Oh, really, lumpy?

He thinks your sauce
tastes like wallpaper glue.

Oh, how little you know.

That's how chefs speak to
their most talented apprentices.

It means I'm dazzling him.

Oh, yeah? Well, get ready
to meet Razzle and Dazzle.

Really?

Really you're taking it there?

Oh, yeah, and there's
more where that came from.

What you got, a third one?

How are you holding up, Lutz?

Shouldn't we be stopping
for some of these lights?

Lights are for sheep, Lutz.

Are you a wolf or a sheep, huh? Huh?

'Cause we only got wolves in this car.

[Howling]

[Laughing] Let's hear it!

[Weak howling]

Yeah.

All units, we have a 10-20 in progress,

at the corner of 95th and Broadway.

10-20, that's an armed robbery.

And that is two blocks
away. Oh, we got this!

- [Screaming]
- [Laughing]

Sh.. shouldn't we wait for back up?

I already got backup. You, partner.

No, no, no. I'm not your partner.

I'm the ride-along.

I just wanted to send the kids to camp.

- [Laughing]
- [Screaming]

[Tires squealing]

There's the mini-mart.

I'm going in.

If anybody gets past me,

handle it.

Handle it?

W... w... what do you mean, "handle it?"

That's a very vague instruction.

[Mumbling]

Hello?

This is Haskell Lutz,

the ride-along.

I want to go home now.

Over.

- Well, what do we have here?
- [Screaming]

N... n... n... nobody.
I'm just an auction winner.

You're a cop. You're wearing a badge.

No, no, no. No, it's not a real badge.

It... it... it's a novelty badge.
See, it says, "Little sheriff".

I don't care. Cops is cops.

- And I hate cops!
- No, please, please.

Please let me go, look, I can't I.D. you.

I've never seen your face.

- You wanna see my face?
- No, I don't!

- You wanna see my face?
- I don't!

Gotcha [Laughing]

It's you?

Yeah, I cuffed him
inside, and took his mask.

[Laughs]

How much fun was that?

I think I just went code eight.

Now, you sure

you don't mind autographing
a few more things?

As long as they don't wind up on eBay.

'Cause if they do,

I want a cut.

But I would never sell...

Wait a second, you're kidding
with me again, aren't you?

[Laughs]

Mrs. Morgans crackin'
jokes in my apartment.

[Chuckles]

Hey, I'll be right back.

Okay, it just a few things.

[Chuckles]

Mrs. M is in my bedroom.

[Chuckles]

Why is Mrs. M in my bedroom?

Wake up and smell the bacon!

What are you doing?

I'm sorry. Am I being too subtle?

[Grunts]

Hey. [Chuckles]

No, but, uh...

I can't fool around with Mrs. M.

[Chuckles] I mean...

what would Mr. M would think?

Phil, Phil.

Mrs. M is in reruns.

Caren Dupree,

is live and in your bedroom.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Oh, mama.

I ain't your mama, Phil.

Oh. Hoo-hoo-hoo.

Hey, do you, uh, remember that episode

when y'all went ice fishing?

How big was that salmon?

What's wrong, Phil?

Nothin", I... I...

I just can't do this.

I see.

- You're not attracted to me.
- No, it's not that...

I just don't think of you that way.

This is so embarrassing.

I don't usually do things like this.

Oh, baby, the truth...

- is I just came out of a divorce.
- Mm.

- I guess I'm feeling kinda lonely.
- I totally get that.

Yeah. I'm divorced, too.

My wife walked out on me,

I didn't feel too good about myself.

How did you get through it?

I'm not gonna lie... it was hard.

But,

each day,

it hurt a little less.

And eventually, you move on.

Caren...

come here.

You're a beautiful woman.

And you're gonna meet someone great.

You really think I'm still beautiful?

Hey:

Wake up and smell the bacon.

[Laughing] Oh.

Chef, permission to leave
the line and start plating.

Permission granted.

he's an eager little fellow, isn't he?

Yeah. It's just that this lesson

means so much to him.

You know, he's really proud that
you're being so though on him

because you think he has so much potential.

Oh, no. I'm being tough on him

because he is dreadful.

Ready, Chef.

All right. Let's see what we have.

I have for you today a pasta primavera

with a handmade linguini
and market vegetables.

The vegetables are soggy and overcooked.

Good to know, Chef.

The sauce is bland and chalky.

Excellent. I'll work on that.

So, minor imperfections aside,

what do you think of the dish as a whole?

- A hole is probably where I'd bury it.
- Okay!

Alright. Well, lesson over.

We each got what we came for.

- You go forth and cook, Stuart.
- No, no, no, no.

- Go, go.
- Holly, Holly.

This is valuable feedback.

So, do you think I have a future
in the culinary arts, tell me?

Chef to chef?

"Chef to chef?"

You're not a chef.

You're a poser playing dress-up.

You follow you don't...

invent, you measure.

You don't create. You cook with your head.

Chefs cook with their hearts, so...

in answer to your question,

do you have a future in
the culinary arts? Yes.

As a diner.

Sorry I wasted your time.

So...

where were we?

[Sighs ] I think it's my turn

to critique you.

You know, decent human being to

pompous self-inflated jackass.

You may be a famous chef

but you're not half the man that Stuart is.

So, in answer to your question,

"where were we?"

You were leaving.

That's too bad.

Because you should know,
I'm not only a great chef,

I'm also a brilliant lover.

No! Get out.

[Crying]

[Panting]

Never get off the couch.

Never get off the couch.

Ride-along wasn't what you expected?

I met the devil.

He was not a nice man.

How was your night?

Haskell, I did a great thing, man.

I made a woman feel good about herself,

by not having sex with her.

Oh, borrowed a page from my book.

Hey.

Anyone see Stuart?

Kitchen.

Can you believe that guy?

What an arrogant jerk, huh?

Agreed.

I hope you didn't take
anything he said seriously.

Actually, I did.

Oh, no, Stuart, you can't.

He doesn't know what he's talking about,

I know what cooking means to you, and...

I would hate it if that

blowhard took away your passion.

Take it away? He crushed it.

Oh.

But then I thought about it,

and I realized he was right.

I mean, if I ever want to be a chef,

I can't just follow recipes.
I have to dig deeper.

I have to learn

to cook with my soul.

So, you're not devastated. He...

didn't crushed your dream?

No.

Not at all. In fact...

I think it was the best
cooking lesson ever.

So I threw out a perfectly
hot guy for nothing?!

Come on, Razzle and Dazzle.

Let's go get that chef.

Synced and corrected by brayanatsix and chamallow
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0