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1
00:00:05,697 --> 00:00:08,699
So, Eden, big plans tonight?
2
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:12,786
Not really, just three clubs
and a couple loft parties.
3
00:00:12,787 --> 00:00:15,039
Well, that sounds like fun.
[Clears throat]
4
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,958
Well, my shift is over.
5
00:00:17,959 --> 00:00:20,794
Guess I'll just go home
and wallow in the emptiness
6
00:00:20,795 --> 00:00:24,882
of being a divorced woman
with nothing to do.
7
00:00:24,883 --> 00:00:26,967
Nothing.
8
00:00:26,968 --> 00:00:28,769
Sounds like a plan.
See ya.
9
00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:30,187
Oh, come on!
10
00:00:30,188 --> 00:00:32,890
I'm hinting my ass off here.
Take me with you.
11
00:00:32,891 --> 00:00:33,891
Nicki, I would
take you with me,
12
00:00:33,892 --> 00:00:34,892
but the people I hang with
13
00:00:34,893 --> 00:00:36,026
party pretty hard.
14
00:00:36,027 --> 00:00:38,228
I may have been married
for 18 years,
15
00:00:38,229 --> 00:00:42,900
but believe me, I can still
get jiggy with it.
16
00:00:42,901 --> 00:00:45,869
Well, whatever that is,
I'm sure you were great at it,
17
00:00:45,870 --> 00:00:49,239
um, but you wouldn't make it
past the first jager bomb.
18
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,359
Oh, so you think
you can out-party me?
19
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,580
Maybe I should bring a BabyBJORN
so I can carry you home.
20
00:00:56,581 --> 00:00:59,500
All right,
lightweight, it's on.
21
00:00:59,501 --> 00:01:03,253
Oh, it's on like donkey Kong.
22
00:01:03,254 --> 00:01:05,038
That's something that people
used to say back in...
23
00:01:05,039 --> 00:01:06,724
Let's just go.
Let's just go.
24
00:01:06,725 --> 00:01:08,892
- What...
- No, no, let's go.
25
00:01:08,893 --> 00:01:10,594
Haskell?
26
00:01:10,595 --> 00:01:12,396
- Haskell!
- What?
27
00:01:12,397 --> 00:01:13,931
You still have
the hots for Nicki?
28
00:01:13,932 --> 00:01:15,816
She put you in the friend zone,
man.
29
00:01:15,817 --> 00:01:17,384
Come on, move on.
30
00:01:17,385 --> 00:01:18,852
You're right.
31
00:01:18,853 --> 00:01:20,487
But sometimes I feel like I'm
never gonna meet someone...
32
00:01:20,488 --> 00:01:23,857
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
hold that thought.
33
00:01:23,858 --> 00:01:27,661
Look at that slab o' man.
34
00:01:27,662 --> 00:01:30,447
Mmm, mommy like.
35
00:01:30,448 --> 00:01:32,866
But how am I gonna hit on him?
36
00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:34,067
It's so crowded.
37
00:01:34,068 --> 00:01:35,369
What am I gonna do?
38
00:01:35,370 --> 00:01:37,004
This calls for "the wedge."
39
00:01:37,005 --> 00:01:38,238
Yes, wedge me.
40
00:01:38,239 --> 00:01:42,126
Excuse me, pardon me, sorry,
excuse me.
41
00:01:42,127 --> 00:01:43,243
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
- Sorry about the foot.
42
00:01:43,244 --> 00:01:44,845
Excuse me, pardon me, thank you.
43
00:01:44,846 --> 00:01:45,963
Excuse me, thank you.
44
00:01:45,964 --> 00:01:47,348
Excuse me, pardon me, thank you.
45
00:01:47,349 --> 00:01:51,852
Oh, look a little space just
for little old me.
46
00:01:51,853 --> 00:01:53,637
It's very crowded here.
47
00:01:53,638 --> 00:01:54,772
Nothing wrong with a crowd
48
00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:55,973
if it's filled
with the right people.
49
00:01:55,974 --> 00:01:58,142
Yeah, okay.
50
00:01:58,143 --> 00:01:59,393
I'm Holly.
51
00:01:59,394 --> 00:02:00,477
Holly Franklin.
52
00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:01,478
Matt.
53
00:02:01,479 --> 00:02:02,730
Matt Brickhouse.
54
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:05,532
What does Matt Brickhouse do?
55
00:02:05,533 --> 00:02:06,734
I'm a pilot.
56
00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:10,037
- So you're...
- Captain Matt Brickhouse.
57
00:02:10,038 --> 00:02:13,207
Now you're just
messing with me.
58
00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:15,376
How about you and I
grab a table?
59
00:02:15,377 --> 00:02:18,629
If those are the instructions
from the tower.
60
00:02:20,215 --> 00:02:22,282
I, uh... I saw what you did.
61
00:02:22,283 --> 00:02:25,052
You wedged me.
Well played.
62
00:02:25,053 --> 00:02:26,720
Well, thank you.
63
00:02:26,721 --> 00:02:28,172
But to cut through
your larger crowds
64
00:02:28,173 --> 00:02:30,057
you need to pull out
your big guns.
65
00:02:30,058 --> 00:02:31,842
A hacking cough
and a wet sneeze
66
00:02:31,843 --> 00:02:33,060
got me a high five
with the pope.
67
00:02:33,061 --> 00:02:36,263
[Chuckles]
68
00:02:36,264 --> 00:02:40,067
You know, Holly, I'm glad
I caught the JFK run tonight.
69
00:02:40,068 --> 00:02:41,518
I love this city.
70
00:02:41,519 --> 00:02:46,023
And may I say,
it's pretty hot for you.
71
00:02:46,024 --> 00:02:47,890
So you don't live here, huh?
72
00:02:47,891 --> 00:02:49,410
No, but I get back a lot.
73
00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:50,661
My brother lives here.
74
00:02:50,662 --> 00:02:53,781
He's, uh, talking to your friend
who wedged me.
75
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:55,916
Oh.
76
00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:58,419
Well, he won't find a more
fun guy than Haskell.
77
00:02:58,420 --> 00:03:00,204
He must be.
78
00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:01,955
I haven't seen Sam
smile like that
79
00:03:01,956 --> 00:03:04,007
since he broke up
with his boyfriend.
80
00:03:07,328 --> 00:03:10,330
[Laughter]
81
00:03:13,017 --> 00:03:18,022
Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com
82
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:21,775
The Exes - S03E18
When Haskell Met Sammy
83
00:03:21,776 --> 00:03:24,361
Yes, miss Williams,
he was a wonderful man.
84
00:03:24,362 --> 00:03:26,346
We'll all miss him.
85
00:03:26,347 --> 00:03:27,731
God bless you too.
86
00:03:27,732 --> 00:03:29,032
Oh, no.
Phil, what happened?
87
00:03:29,033 --> 00:03:30,684
My old high school coach passed.
88
00:03:30,685 --> 00:03:31,952
Man, I'm sorry.
89
00:03:31,953 --> 00:03:33,120
Uh, thanks.
90
00:03:33,121 --> 00:03:35,122
Coach meant a lot to me.
He really changed my life.
91
00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:37,791
Mm, got you off the mean
streets of New York, huh?
92
00:03:37,792 --> 00:03:40,494
Mean streets?
No, I'm from Long Island.
93
00:03:40,495 --> 00:03:41,545
Okay.
94
00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:43,580
I'm sorry, I was making,
just assumptions
95
00:03:43,581 --> 00:03:44,915
based on tired cliches.
96
00:03:44,916 --> 00:03:45,966
Don't sweat it.
97
00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:47,918
He wasn't just my coach,
98
00:03:47,919 --> 00:03:49,803
- sometimes he was like my dad.
- Mmhmm.
99
00:03:49,804 --> 00:03:52,890
'Cause you grew up
with a single mom?
100
00:03:52,891 --> 00:03:55,809
No, my parents have been
married for 40 years.
101
00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:58,211
That's ri... I... I knew... you know
what, I'm gonna shut up now.
102
00:03:58,212 --> 00:03:59,730
That's okay.
103
00:03:59,731 --> 00:04:01,148
- When's the funeral?
- Thursday.
104
00:04:01,149 --> 00:04:03,517
They asked me to speak.
Well, that's quite an honor.
105
00:04:03,518 --> 00:04:04,935
Well, it would be
if I was going, but I'm not.
106
00:04:04,936 --> 00:04:06,937
Wh... What?
What are you talking about?
107
00:04:06,938 --> 00:04:08,555
He meant so much to you.
108
00:04:08,556 --> 00:04:09,656
How could you not go?
109
00:04:09,657 --> 00:04:10,941
Because I hate funerals.
110
00:04:10,942 --> 00:04:12,359
When I was eight,
I went to my grandfather's
111
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,611
and something bad happened.
112
00:04:14,612 --> 00:04:15,729
I mean, really bad.
113
00:04:15,730 --> 00:04:18,365
Mm, drive-by?
114
00:04:18,366 --> 00:04:21,335
What the hell
is wrong with you, man?
115
00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:23,086
No, not a drive-by!
116
00:04:23,087 --> 00:04:24,872
When they were rolling out
his casket
117
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,840
it fell off the Dolly
and the lid popped open
118
00:04:26,841 --> 00:04:29,710
and he flopped out of that thing
like a boneless chicken.
119
00:04:29,711 --> 00:04:32,262
It was like...
Ooh, oh, oh!
120
00:04:32,263 --> 00:04:33,680
Mm. Ugh.
Yeah.
121
00:04:33,681 --> 00:04:35,382
- Horrible.
- Exactly.
122
00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:37,801
That's why that was my first
and last funeral.
123
00:04:37,802 --> 00:04:38,802
Okay, Phil, hang on.
124
00:04:38,803 --> 00:04:40,270
Don't let that stop you.
Come on.
125
00:04:40,271 --> 00:04:43,524
This man was an important
part of your life.
126
00:04:43,525 --> 00:04:45,225
You owe it to him to go.
127
00:04:45,226 --> 00:04:46,693
- Maybe you're right.
- I'll tell you what.
128
00:04:46,694 --> 00:04:48,395
I'll even go with you
for moral support.
129
00:04:48,396 --> 00:04:49,396
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
130
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:50,430
Well, you know,
131
00:04:50,431 --> 00:04:51,431
it would mean
a lot to his family
132
00:04:51,432 --> 00:04:53,867
and it would be great to see
the guys from the team again.
133
00:04:53,868 --> 00:04:57,404
The golf team?
134
00:04:57,405 --> 00:04:58,789
No, basketball.
135
00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:00,607
I just didn't
wanna be wrong again.
136
00:05:00,608 --> 00:05:03,109
Of course it's basketball.
[Chuckles]
137
00:05:03,110 --> 00:05:04,444
Why "of course"?
138
00:05:04,445 --> 00:05:06,463
I'm gonna go to my room.
139
00:05:10,301 --> 00:05:13,136
So, Haskell,
what is your situation?
140
00:05:13,137 --> 00:05:14,805
Are you married?
Single?
141
00:05:14,806 --> 00:05:16,623
Oh, I was married,
but I'm not the first guy
142
00:05:16,624 --> 00:05:18,981
to make that mistake,
if you know what I'm saying.
143
00:05:21,128 --> 00:05:22,145
Yeah, well,
the important thing is
144
00:05:22,146 --> 00:05:23,630
is that you know
who you are now.
145
00:05:23,631 --> 00:05:24,798
That's right.
146
00:05:24,799 --> 00:05:26,516
Available and ready
for a little action.
147
00:05:26,517 --> 00:05:28,569
[Giggles]
148
00:05:31,322 --> 00:05:34,608
Aw, you know, Holly,
you are a hell of a woman.
149
00:05:34,609 --> 00:05:35,943
Oh.
150
00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:37,644
I would love to take you to
dinner tomorrow night.
151
00:05:37,645 --> 00:05:39,813
- Great.
- But I can't.
152
00:05:39,814 --> 00:05:41,865
Huh?
153
00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:44,001
It just wouldn't feel right,
leaving Sam all alone.
154
00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:46,536
Huh.
155
00:05:46,537 --> 00:05:48,372
You know what?
156
00:05:48,373 --> 00:05:50,156
Maybe I don't have to.
157
00:05:50,157 --> 00:05:52,542
How about the four of us double?
158
00:05:52,543 --> 00:05:55,629
Haskell and your brother?
159
00:05:55,630 --> 00:05:59,933
Sounds great.
160
00:05:59,934 --> 00:06:01,184
Hey, guys?
161
00:06:01,185 --> 00:06:03,604
Matt and I were wondering
if maybe the four of us
162
00:06:03,605 --> 00:06:05,022
could grab dinner
tomorrow night.
163
00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:06,106
Ah, I'm in.
164
00:06:06,107 --> 00:06:08,475
Haskell?
It's a date.
165
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:22,036
What the hell
happened last night?
166
00:06:27,142 --> 00:06:29,143
Aaaah!
167
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:34,849
Eden?
168
00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:36,050
Eden, wake... wake up.
169
00:06:36,051 --> 00:06:37,051
Wake up.
Huh?
170
00:06:37,052 --> 00:06:38,686
[Grumbles]
171
00:06:40,990 --> 00:06:43,024
What are you wearing?
[Laughs]
172
00:06:43,025 --> 00:06:45,193
You look ridiculous.
173
00:06:49,999 --> 00:06:52,066
What the hell
did we do last night?
174
00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:56,421
Well, either we enlisted,
or we slept with sailors.
175
00:06:56,422 --> 00:06:58,339
This is all your fault.
176
00:06:58,340 --> 00:06:59,740
- My fault?
- Yes!
177
00:06:59,741 --> 00:07:01,175
I thought we were gonna go to
some trendy club
178
00:07:01,176 --> 00:07:04,929
and have a few drinks,
not take on the seventh fleet!
179
00:07:04,930 --> 00:07:07,765
So we entertained the troops.
180
00:07:07,766 --> 00:07:10,218
We're like the U.S.O.
181
00:07:10,219 --> 00:07:12,887
More like the U.S.Ho.
182
00:07:12,888 --> 00:07:15,189
[Phone chimes]
183
00:07:15,190 --> 00:07:19,694
Wait a sec,
I'm getting a text.
184
00:07:19,695 --> 00:07:21,729
It's from a guy named Mel.
185
00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:24,732
[Laughs]
You slept with a Mel?
186
00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:26,651
Maybe you slept with a Mel.
187
00:07:26,652 --> 00:07:27,935
Maybe we both did.
188
00:07:27,936 --> 00:07:31,439
Ew, we had a menage a Mel!
189
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,124
"We have your clothes.
190
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:34,742
We need ours back."
191
00:07:34,743 --> 00:07:37,378
See?
He said "we."
192
00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:38,496
There were two of them.
193
00:07:38,497 --> 00:07:39,497
Happy now?
194
00:07:39,498 --> 00:07:40,948
Yes, yes.
195
00:07:40,949 --> 00:07:42,333
We gave it up to two sailors.
196
00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:44,385
What a relief.
197
00:07:48,623 --> 00:07:49,640
I'd like to make a toast.
198
00:07:49,641 --> 00:07:50,641
- Aw.
- All right.
199
00:07:50,642 --> 00:07:51,893
To new friends...
200
00:07:51,894 --> 00:07:55,346
Chance encounters and wherever
they may lead.
201
00:07:55,347 --> 00:07:57,398
Bottoms up!
202
00:08:02,571 --> 00:08:06,357
Haskell, this lemongrass
crab cake is amazing.
203
00:08:06,358 --> 00:08:07,358
You have to have a taste.
204
00:08:07,359 --> 00:08:10,445
I'll try anything once.
205
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,029
Open wide.
206
00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:14,082
Okay.
207
00:08:17,953 --> 00:08:19,036
Mmm.
208
00:08:19,037 --> 00:08:22,540
Matt, I'd love a taste
of your ravioli.
209
00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:25,126
Go for it.
210
00:08:25,127 --> 00:08:28,379
Oh, Haskell, you have a smidge
of sauce right here.
211
00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:29,764
- Right here?
- No, no, no, no.
212
00:08:29,765 --> 00:08:31,099
Here, silly.
No.
213
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:32,633
There.
214
00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:34,018
All gone.
215
00:08:34,019 --> 00:08:36,053
Boop.
216
00:08:47,682 --> 00:08:49,617
- Holly?
- Huh?
217
00:08:49,618 --> 00:08:52,787
- Can I have a word with you?
- Sure.
218
00:08:52,788 --> 00:08:56,707
Excuse us for just a moment.
219
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:57,792
Yeah?
220
00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:59,377
I don't meant to judge someone
221
00:08:59,378 --> 00:09:03,131
based on outdated
cultural stereotypes,
222
00:09:03,132 --> 00:09:06,033
but that is one gay dude.
223
00:09:06,034 --> 00:09:07,301
Why, because he booped?
224
00:09:07,302 --> 00:09:08,302
Everybody boops.
225
00:09:08,303 --> 00:09:09,303
Boop.
Oh, come on!
226
00:09:09,304 --> 00:09:11,255
Now don't mess with me!
227
00:09:11,256 --> 00:09:14,559
You set me up
just to be with some guy.
228
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:15,760
He's not just some guy.
229
00:09:15,761 --> 00:09:19,981
Look at him, he's built
like a Matt Brickhouse.
230
00:09:19,982 --> 00:09:22,850
Look, Sam is a good guy
and I refuse to be a tease.
231
00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:23,985
This ends now.
232
00:09:23,986 --> 00:09:25,236
All right, look, let me just
233
00:09:25,237 --> 00:09:26,771
get a little head start
with Captain Matt, okay?
234
00:09:26,772 --> 00:09:28,072
All right.
235
00:09:28,073 --> 00:09:29,407
Look who's back.
236
00:09:29,408 --> 00:09:31,442
I was gonna send out
a search party.
237
00:09:31,443 --> 00:09:33,694
That's, um... I'm...
238
00:09:33,695 --> 00:09:35,997
Oh!
Thank you.
239
00:09:35,998 --> 00:09:39,584
Uh, look, um, Sam, I think you
and I should have a little chat.
240
00:09:39,585 --> 00:09:41,735
Matt, let's
leave these guys alone, hmm?
241
00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,621
What about my ravioli?
242
00:09:43,622 --> 00:09:47,708
We'll take it to go.
243
00:09:47,709 --> 00:09:50,044
Haskell, that was brilliant
getting rid of them.
244
00:09:50,045 --> 00:09:52,046
Now it's just the two of us.
245
00:09:52,047 --> 00:09:54,715
Uh, look, I'm really glad
that we met.
246
00:09:54,716 --> 00:09:58,085
- I mean, you are a terrific guy.
- Me?
247
00:09:58,086 --> 00:10:00,104
Haskell, I've never
met anyone like you.
248
00:10:00,105 --> 00:10:01,722
You're smart,
you make me laugh,
249
00:10:01,723 --> 00:10:04,058
you have the most beautifully
twisted take on the world,
250
00:10:04,059 --> 00:10:06,477
but the one thing
that I just don't understand
251
00:10:06,478 --> 00:10:09,597
is how can somebody as amazing
as you not be taken?
252
00:10:09,598 --> 00:10:13,100
You have everything.
253
00:10:13,101 --> 00:10:15,953
Well, I wouldn't...
254
00:10:15,954 --> 00:10:18,489
You wanna split a mousse?
255
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,984
Oh, no.
256
00:10:29,985 --> 00:10:31,503
Coach is in there.
257
00:10:31,504 --> 00:10:33,421
Coach is right in there.
258
00:10:33,422 --> 00:10:36,041
Death is in the house!
259
00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:38,343
- Calm down.
- I'm trying.
260
00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:39,966
How come your pills
haven't kicked in yet?
261
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,433
- What pills?
- Well, when you weren't looking
262
00:10:41,434 --> 00:10:43,382
I went into your medicine
cabinet and took some valium.
263
00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:47,335
One, shame on you, and two,
I don't have any valium.
264
00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:50,105
Of course you do, it was
in a vial marked "V."
265
00:10:50,106 --> 00:10:51,172
- "V"?
- Yeah.
266
00:10:51,173 --> 00:10:53,775
[Gasps] No.
"V" isn't for valium.
267
00:10:53,776 --> 00:10:57,062
It's for Viagra.
268
00:10:57,063 --> 00:11:00,482
What the hell
do you need Viagra for?
269
00:11:00,483 --> 00:11:03,518
Towards the end of my marriage,
Lorna and I had some issues.
270
00:11:03,519 --> 00:11:05,737
It w... okay, you know what?
I don't have to explain this to you.
271
00:11:05,738 --> 00:11:07,405
What am I gonna do?
272
00:11:07,406 --> 00:11:09,574
- Well, I can't believe you took one.
- I didn't. I took two.
273
00:11:09,575 --> 00:11:11,693
- Two?
- Yeah.
274
00:11:11,694 --> 00:11:14,796
- Two would work on coach.
- What am I gonna do?
275
00:11:14,797 --> 00:11:16,498
Well, just stay calm,
okay?
276
00:11:16,499 --> 00:11:19,751
They only work if you're
sexually stimulated.
277
00:11:19,752 --> 00:11:22,087
So whatever you do,
just don't think about...
278
00:11:22,088 --> 00:11:24,723
Oh, Phil, we were
hoping you'd be here.
279
00:11:24,724 --> 00:11:26,207
The whole cheerleading squad's
here.
280
00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:28,259
What?
[Chuckles]
281
00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:29,260
You haven't changed a bit.
282
00:11:29,261 --> 00:11:30,979
You are still a hottie.
283
00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:32,981
Well, you know,
I do what I do.
284
00:11:32,982 --> 00:11:37,018
[Horrified laugh]
285
00:11:42,108 --> 00:11:43,742
Stuart, I have a situation.
286
00:11:43,743 --> 00:11:46,528
Oh, sweet Jesus.
287
00:11:46,529 --> 00:11:47,696
What am I gonna do with this?
288
00:11:47,697 --> 00:11:48,697
Why are you asking me?
289
00:11:48,698 --> 00:11:49,698
I don't know.
What am I...
290
00:11:49,699 --> 00:11:50,915
Just, look.
Here.
291
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,917
We just have to get you seated,
okay? Here.
292
00:11:52,918 --> 00:11:56,171
Just walk behind me
and stay close.
293
00:11:56,172 --> 00:11:59,207
Ugh, too close.
Too close.
294
00:12:02,094 --> 00:12:05,714
[Microwave beeps]
[Hums]
295
00:12:05,715 --> 00:12:07,182
What are you doing?
296
00:12:07,183 --> 00:12:10,301
Oh, I'm heating up my
Jimmy Dean croissant sandwich.
297
00:12:10,302 --> 00:12:12,020
It's a quick and delicious
breakfast
298
00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:14,305
for busy people on the go.
299
00:12:14,306 --> 00:12:17,525
Yeah, well, since when are you
busy or on the go?
300
00:12:17,526 --> 00:12:19,227
Oh, these are for you.
301
00:12:19,228 --> 00:12:21,563
The delivery man left them
at my door by mistake.
302
00:12:21,564 --> 00:12:22,781
Oh, it's from Sam.
303
00:12:22,782 --> 00:12:25,933
"To the man who puts
a smile on my face."
304
00:12:25,934 --> 00:12:28,453
He is so thoughtful.
Yeah.
305
00:12:28,454 --> 00:12:29,654
That's great.
306
00:12:29,655 --> 00:12:31,072
You know what I got from Matt?
307
00:12:31,073 --> 00:12:32,440
A text.
308
00:12:32,441 --> 00:12:35,943
"It was fub."
309
00:12:35,944 --> 00:12:38,463
I guess I got
the good brother.
310
00:12:38,464 --> 00:12:39,831
Oh, yeah,
and what's up with that?
311
00:12:39,832 --> 00:12:42,217
Whatever happened
to "this ends now"?
312
00:12:42,218 --> 00:12:44,952
I was going to, but nobody's
made me feel this good
313
00:12:44,953 --> 00:12:46,588
about myself in a long time.
314
00:12:46,589 --> 00:12:49,307
I mean, he loves my stories,
he laughs at my jokes.
315
00:12:49,308 --> 00:12:50,975
After dinner we went to a bar.
316
00:12:50,976 --> 00:12:54,629
He wouldn't let me
pay for a thing.
317
00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:57,766
He gets me.
318
00:12:57,767 --> 00:12:59,934
Haskell, you can't keep
deceiving the guy.
319
00:12:59,935 --> 00:13:01,403
I mean, it's not fair
to you or him.
320
00:13:01,404 --> 00:13:03,071
You're living a lie.
321
00:13:03,072 --> 00:13:04,072
What are you saying?
322
00:13:04,073 --> 00:13:08,142
I'm saying you need to
come out as a straight man.
323
00:13:11,363 --> 00:13:12,980
Now we're going
to hear from someone
324
00:13:12,981 --> 00:13:16,451
who held a very special place
in coach's heart.
325
00:13:16,452 --> 00:13:18,369
Phil Chase.
326
00:13:18,370 --> 00:13:19,671
Stuart, I can't
go up there like this.
327
00:13:19,672 --> 00:13:21,089
You're gonna have to deliver
the speech for me.
328
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:22,090
- What? Me... no, me?
- Yeah.
329
00:13:22,091 --> 00:13:24,125
I haven't rehearsed it.
I'm not familiar with the text.
330
00:13:24,126 --> 00:13:25,326
Just take the speech.
331
00:13:25,327 --> 00:13:27,345
Okay, okay.
332
00:13:33,269 --> 00:13:35,854
Hello.
333
00:13:35,855 --> 00:13:38,506
Ladies and gentlemen, my friend
Phil is so overcome with emotion
334
00:13:38,507 --> 00:13:41,609
that he can't speak
and he asked me
335
00:13:41,610 --> 00:13:45,063
to deliver
his eulogy for him, so...
336
00:13:45,064 --> 00:13:49,150
"Hi, I'm Phil Chase
and I see a lot
337
00:13:49,151 --> 00:13:51,569
of my brothers and sisters
in the house,
338
00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:55,990
so I'm gonna keep it real.
339
00:13:55,991 --> 00:13:59,627
Coach was chill,
but he could also be tough.
340
00:13:59,628 --> 00:14:01,463
I remember him
once hollerin' at us,
341
00:14:01,464 --> 00:14:03,081
'yo, if nobody wanna
put the work in,
342
00:14:03,082 --> 00:14:04,249
don't be blaming me
343
00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:07,552
if you look like
a bunch of damn fools.'
344
00:14:07,553 --> 00:14:10,338
coach helped me
realize my worth
345
00:14:10,339 --> 00:14:13,875
and made me the proud black man
you see before you today."
346
00:14:13,876 --> 00:14:15,209
Okay, all right.
Okay.
347
00:14:15,210 --> 00:14:16,311
Stuart, you know what,
I'll take it from here.
348
00:14:16,312 --> 00:14:17,378
Thank you though.
You sure?
349
00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:22,100
I was crushing it.
Sit down, homie.
350
00:14:22,101 --> 00:14:23,985
How's everybody doing?
351
00:14:23,986 --> 00:14:27,856
You know, uh...
352
00:14:27,857 --> 00:14:30,191
I wasn't gonna come tonight.
353
00:14:30,192 --> 00:14:31,409
I hate funerals.
354
00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:33,945
I-I hate 'em.
355
00:14:33,946 --> 00:14:35,029
But I had to be there for coach
356
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:37,732
'cause he was always there
for me.
357
00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:40,585
After college, I wasn't sure
if I was good enough to go pro,
358
00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:43,087
so I went to see coach.
359
00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:47,876
And he said, uh,
"ain't gonna happen.
360
00:14:47,877 --> 00:14:50,845
But sports is in your blood,
so try to stay in it."
361
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,079
And I did.
362
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,765
I became a sports agent.
363
00:14:53,766 --> 00:14:56,184
And every day I try
to inspire young athletes
364
00:14:56,185 --> 00:14:59,637
like he inspired me.
365
00:15:00,973 --> 00:15:04,642
Coach may be gone,
but he'll never be forgotten.
366
00:15:04,643 --> 00:15:07,929
Everything I am is because
of that man right there.
367
00:15:07,930 --> 00:15:10,114
[All gasping]
368
00:15:10,115 --> 00:15:12,150
Oh!
369
00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:21,003
[Chuckles]
Ah, Sam, what a great idea.
370
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:24,456
I haven't been to a rodeo
since I was a kid.
371
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,925
I knew you'd like.
372
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,843
Well, who doesn't like seeing
a clown bounced around
373
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,980
in a barrel by a bul
[Laughs]
374
00:15:30,981 --> 00:15:35,568
How great did those cowboys
look in chaps?
375
00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:39,738
- Why don't we sit?
- That's a good idea.
376
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:42,491
You know, the, uh... the last
two days have been great.
377
00:15:42,492 --> 00:15:43,659
I know.
378
00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:45,277
I can't remember
having so much fun.
379
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,829
- You are a terrific guy.
- [Laughs]
380
00:15:46,830 --> 00:15:48,864
Right back at you.
381
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,836
You're charming, you're funny.
382
00:15:53,837 --> 00:15:55,671
You're everything
I look for in a man.
383
00:15:55,672 --> 00:15:57,506
Look, I'm just gonna
come out and say it...
384
00:15:57,507 --> 00:15:59,491
I'm getting back
with my boyfriend.
385
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,877
Huh?
386
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:06,048
He called and we talked
and we... we both realized
387
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,350
that we... we just weren't
ready to end it yet.
388
00:16:08,351 --> 00:16:11,687
And exactly when
were you gonna tell me?
389
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,446
I was trying to find
the right moment all night. It...
390
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,032
I thought we had
something special.
391
00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:25,818
Now I feel like such a fool.
392
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:29,521
Please, Haskell, I... this isn't
easy for me either.
393
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:34,026
It's all I can do to keep
from ripping off your clothes.
394
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:38,547
Well, that's not gonna
happen now, is it?
395
00:16:41,718 --> 00:16:43,719
Maybe I should go.
396
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,422
Haskell, I...
397
00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:48,474
I hope you find someone
really great.
398
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,209
You deserve it.
399
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,178
Uh, Sam, before you go,
400
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:56,432
there's probably something
I should tell you.
401
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,551
What's that?
402
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:02,454
I hope things work out
with you and your guy.
403
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:07,726
I know how hard it is
to find someone.
404
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,995
So long, Haskell.
405
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,114
Sam.
406
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,366
So long.
407
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,417
Boop.
408
00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:18,203
[Laughter]
409
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,876
[Sighs]
410
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,632
What is keeping
Mel and his buddy?
411
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,101
I just wanna give 'em
back their uniforms
412
00:17:32,102 --> 00:17:33,435
and forget this ever happened.
413
00:17:33,436 --> 00:17:36,305
No, no, no, you are looking
at this all wrong, okay?
414
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,691
From everything
I can piece together,
415
00:17:38,692 --> 00:17:43,145
we got pretty "jiggy"
last night.
416
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,814
We did, didn't we?
417
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:46,949
Oh, yes.
418
00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:48,600
Think of this as your
bachelorette party
419
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,768
for your new life.
420
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,203
You're right.
421
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,270
You know, who knows?
422
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,324
Maybe Mel is a hottie.
Ooh, yeah.
423
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:58,777
Hello, ladies.
424
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,797
- Who are you?
- I'm Mel.
425
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:07,119
I couldn't have been
that drunk.
426
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,304
Uh, Mel, could you please
explain to us
427
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,423
why you happen
to have our clothes?
428
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,343
I went out for a smoke
and found you two blotto
429
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,478
and soaking wet outside
the theater.
430
00:18:16,479 --> 00:18:18,097
- What theater?
- Where I work.
431
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:21,350
I'm the wardrobe mistress
for South pacific.
432
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:22,467
The musical?
433
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,019
So those are just costumes?
434
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,303
Yeah, you were a mess.
435
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:27,472
So I gave you clean clothes,
stuck you in a cab,
436
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:29,858
and sent you on your merry way.
437
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:30,993
That's it?
438
00:18:30,994 --> 00:18:32,528
That was my crazy night?
439
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:36,165
I got the dry heaves outside
of South pacific?
440
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:40,702
Yeah, well, next time,
do it outside Jersey boys.
441
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,040
- Hi.
- Hey, Haskell.
442
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,992
Did you tell Sam
you were straight?
443
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,994
Not that there's
anything wrong with that.
444
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:52,297
Well... I never got the chance.
445
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,550
Turns out he's going back
with his boyfriend.
446
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,351
I'm sorry, Haskell.
447
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,003
But at least now you know
that there's someone out there
448
00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,605
who appreciates you.
449
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,690
Well, thanks.
450
00:19:01,691 --> 00:19:02,841
I don't mean to be picky,
451
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:06,228
but I hope that the next one
has lady parts.
452
00:19:07,697 --> 00:19:10,783
So how are things going
with Captain Brickhouse?
453
00:19:10,784 --> 00:19:12,851
Well, he stopped
by for a quickie
454
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,454
on his way to the airport,
but then I thought of you guys
455
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,739
and what you had and I thought,
"I want that.
456
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:21,359
I deserve romance,
someone who appreciates me."
457
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,079
So after the quickie
I kicked him to the curb.
458
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,049
There you go.
459
00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:28,884
All right, Phil,
drinks are on me tonight.
460
00:19:28,885 --> 00:19:30,052
I gotta say I'm proud of you.
461
00:19:30,053 --> 00:19:32,421
That eulogy was the bomb, yo.
462
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:33,972
Stuart.
463
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,708
I love you, man,
but you gotta stop right now.
464
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:40,646
You got it, bro.
465
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:44,750
Hey, Phil, I heard about
your coach and I'm really sorry.
466
00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,768
No problem, man.
467
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,379
What is going on?!
468
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:55,455
I'm driving men wild!
469
00:19:55,456 --> 00:20:00,269
Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com
470
00:20:00,319 --> 00:20:04,869
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