All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons s03e11 A Bit Like Buses Really.eng

- Don't go down that road.
- What road?

- The Odin road.
- Ullr is Odin

by another name. the true Odin.

I will find her before you will

because I can find anything.

- This is her.
- This is little Frigg.

Hi, Dawn.

Don't you ever pull that
Bragi shit with me again.

We don't bring mortals in
whenever we feel like it because

pretty soon, we will be the freaks that everyone
knows about and we will be hunted out of existence!

How dare you play that card
when you're just as bad.

When you decided that you could
determine with your goddess power

who will live and who will
die, who you will save and

who you leave to die, I am sorry,
Michelle, but you left me way behind.

Michelle: No.

- You are not him.
- Who?

Odin. I am.

You are history, Mike. History!!

Zeb: Dude, I'm telling
you, he knows where she is.

I saw it in his eyes. When he looked
at that photo of her as a little girl,

that he knew exactly where to find her.

It was all the clues he needed.

He's going after her,
man. He's making his move.

So, what if he finds her first?

What's he going to do then,
eh? Hold her hostage? Kill her?

In your family, I
wouldn't rule out anything.

I am Odin! He isn't!

She's mine, not his. End of story.

Strictly speaking, I thought
neither of you were Odin.

My understanding of the prophesy was that
when you found Frigg, you'd become Odin.

No. All the signs say I was Odin and
I will get my powers when I found Frigg.

- Okay, bit of a fine line right there.
- No, it isn't.

I am Odin. He's not. Big fat
line right down the middle, Zeb.

And I will find her today. Guaranteed.

Oh, you're sure of that, are you?

Yep 'cause I have a plan.

I hope it's a good one

'cause there's sure as
hell nothing stopping him.

What the fuck?

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I need to know we're on
the same page about this.

Is this the page where Mike has spun out
and finally disappeared up his own ass

where he's apparently
quite enjoying the view?

Axl: Yes.

I'm on that page, yes.

Good. Ty?

Uh, I'm having trouble getting my head
around where he's coming from, yeah.

But you're still on my side, right?

- I'm always on your side, Axl.
- Bam. Grandpa?

- Just say he's off his nut, Grandpa.
- Just

remind me, has Mike actually said
to anyone that he believes he's Odin?

- Yes.
- When?

In my vision.

- Right.
- Hey, I'm not the mad one here.

- I'm not saying you are.
- Look, he destroyed Yggdrasil.

That's not the act of a sane man.

No, but it's the act of a
man with strong moral beliefs.

Okay, he may not have said it out
loud yet but I know what he's thinking.

Yes, possibly because you're the
one that put the thought in there.

Whether or not he said it out loud,
is there any chance it could be true?

No! Because on my 21st birthday, I became
the living incarnation of Odin. Not him.

Axl, whether you like it or not, it's
a question that needs to be asked.

- Not really.
- Okay,

on the one hand and so you don't
shoot the messenger, Axl, yes,

all the signs pointed to
you being the All Father.

You ticked all the boxes. Good for you.

Yeah, Mike ticked precisely
no boxes unless they're marked:

egotistical, pompous and deluded.

No, Mike ticks the box labelled Ullr,

which in this case,
is significant...

Is this this Danish myth
that Zeb was banging on about?

Yeah. Who cares about
Denmark? Denmark sucks.

There are stories, there are always
stories, but of much more importance

is the notion that you can
have all the signs in the world

but the true Odin is
determined by his actions.

Like finding his beloved.

Olaf: That would be a
good action to start with.

One in which Mike has a
considerable advantage, apparently.

It doesn't matter because

Anders and I are going
to go and find her.

Yeah?

Yep.

Hi. I'm looking for the
woman that lives here.

No. No.

All wrong. Go away!

Oh, I'm not wrong.

I know she lives here.

Not for you.

Hey.

Mike?

Are you okay?

Right at this moment,

I'm unsure.

How did you get in here?

Um, the front door was unlocked.

Michelle and her chainsaw
were just leaving.

I take it things aren't so
good between you and her.

Haven't you heard?

I'm the man everyone loves to hate.

Yeah. I had heard actually.

Are you okay?

Again, I'm unsure.

I also hear you think you're Odin.

What?

You Odin? Is that true?

Have you been talking to Axl?

Among everyone else.

Would it be so bad if it was true?

No. I'm sure you'd make a fine Odin.

Except for one thing.

You're not him.

Unless you believe the stories.

- Oh, you know the stories?
- Yeah, well, Michelle's mother,

she made some cryptic comments
so I did my research, okay? Ullr,

it means glory, you know?

Wuldor Ullr Alwealda,

Glorious All-Ruler.

So you can begin to
understand why to some,

the two of us were
kind of interchangeable.

Kind of makes the assumed order not so carved
in stone when you think about it like that.

What were you expecting?

That I'd be this tear-stained mess curled up on
the couch eating junk food, listening to Adele.

I know I would be.

- But I'm not you, Ingrid.
- Ingrid: That is so true.

So instead, you have his car
crushed and delivered back to him.

Amongst other things.

Personally, the chainsawing of his stupid
football table was more satisfying. More hands-on.

Okay, I have nothing but
respect for you right now.

Thank you, Stacey.

Have you even cried?

I don't know how this has
escaped your attention, Ingrid,

but I am not the crying kind.

Everyone's the crying kind. It's
just some people don't admit it.

- Not me. - More
the revenge-y kind.

He wants to turn downstairs
into a man cave, right?

But would you believe how hard it is

to find someone willing to
dump a truck load of boulders

at his front door so he
has to tunnel into his cave?

You're putting a lot of
thought into this, aren't you?

I have little else to think about.

And it keeps the tears at bay.

If anyone is crying, it
should be you, Ingrid.

When that stick was destroyed, didn't the first source
of income you've had in a very long time go with it?

I'm very aware of that. Thank you.

Yesterday was proof, ladies,

gods are pricks and none
of them are worth our tears.

So, you're crystal clear
on what you have to do?

- Oh, I hate these places. They give me the creeps.
- Anders, forget that.

They remind me of my own mortality.
I don't need that kind of pressure.

- Anders.
- Yeah, I know. Go inside,

sweet-talk whoever, get
the patient information

on this Frederick Larson dude,
get the address for next-of-kin

and come straight back out.
Don't treat me like I'm retarded.

No, I'm treating you like
someone who's easily distracted.

That's just as bad.
It's possibly worse.

It's like saying I'm ADH.. HD...HD.

No, except for that tiny part
of you that lives in your pants.

Okay, you used the word tiny.
Right there, that's just cruel.

If it comes down to a vote
of who's the real Odin,

- I'm going to remember that.
- Axl: Just go.

- Yes, new dad.
- And no distractions.

- In God's waiting room?
- I mean it.

Ah, excuse me.

Okay, it could have been life
or death. Don't worry about it.

Hi. Can I help you?

Hi.

Hello.

Yes. Yes. Uh, yes,
you can in two ways.

The second is you can
give me your phone number.

The first is I need to see the patient
information on a Frederick Larson.

Can you do that for me? Can you

dig out his file?

No. What?

I'm a student nurse. This is
my first morning on placement.

They haven't even shown
me where the files are yet.

- Oh, right.
- But I can give you my phone number,

and maybe my sister
can show you the file.

- Sorry?
- My sister. She works here.

Hi. Can I help you?

Unfulfilled fantasy number
2, identical twin nurses.

Damn you, universe, did you
really have to do this to me?

Now?

Man: Go away.

Who are you?

Go. Away.

- Mike: I know she's in there.
- There's no one here for you.

Mike: Listen, whoever you are,
I just want to talk to her.

Man: No. No. I know all about
you and what you really want.

Mike: Yeah? You and every
other bugger apparently.

If you know everything about me,

you'll know that I will find her

sooner or later. You can't stop me.

You're her brother,

that boy in the photo.

This is not the way
it's meant to happen.

Not how what's meant to happen?

She went into her room.

Hello?

Ah, son of a bitch!

- Hello to you too.
- Not you.

I love what you done with the place.

- It wasn't me. - Not an
Odin-fuelled fit of rage?

Michelle in a
Michelle-fuelled fit of rage.

Okay, I can see that.

But do you dig the subtle
way I had of bringing it up?

Just for the record, Grandpa,

Axl is the one running around telling
everyone that I'm Odin. It's not me.

No, he's telling everyone
you think you're Odin.

What if the cap fits?

- You know all the stories.
- Stories. Stories.

Suddenly, everyone's
interested in the stories.

I remember all the signs.
The signs, Michael,

that said Axl is the man.

Stories, signs.

It would help if we were
dealing in facts, eh?

Like if someone found the Frigg...

so she could say, "Yep,
him. He's the one."

I guess that would help.

Have you found her?

Tell me if this rings a bell.

I step through a doorway but the moment
I set foot on the other side, pop,

I'm somewhere else, miles away.

It very much depends on who's
just gone through the door.

Who's standing on the
other side of the door?

One of our kind, obviously.

Seems you've met Heimdallr.

Our guardian.

Not necessarily our guardian
but the guardian of something

- or someone.
- How does he do it, his door thing?

Heimdallr can move between realms and
between places within those realms.

And if he so chooses,

he can send any poor,
unfortunate anywhere he wants.

How do I get past him?

Well, don't ever go through the same
door as him would be my first answer.

And your second piece of advice?

Stay well away from him

because Heimdallr is the god who sees all
and hears all and all these different realms

'cause human-sized brain can't
cope with the information overload.

So inevitably, he is barking mad.

If Heimdallr's sending you back
here then he's going easy on you.

So do not piss him off.

What if he pisses me off?

What took so long?

Hey, things are twice as complicated
as expected so less of the attitude.

- You got distracted, didn't you?
- You know, I resent what you're insinuating, Axl.

There were complex negotiations to be negotiated
and to achieve a happy result for all concerned,

- well, it takes time.
- Ah, okay. Your fly's undone.

Shit.

Axl: Please tell me you
at least got an address.

Mission accomplished, Axl.

Next of kin is listed at Martin
Larson and that's his address.

Yeah, must be the brother.

I was hoping it would be her.

But we are one significant
step closer, my lord.

So next time you seek to
question my methodology,

just remember, there's more than
one Odin to choose from these days.

Don't be a dick, Anders.

- You're sure this is the address?
- I wrote it down myself.

You coming?

Axl, you know I have deep
- seeded issues about places like this.

You mean the issue where you're
a pussy who needs to man up?

The issue where I have a phobia about
mentally challenged people in closed spaces.

You are such a wuss.

I'll look after the car.

Can't make it any easier.
It's not in the rules.

Any luck?

- Not really.
- Oh well, worth a crack. Hey, um,

something's popped up and I'm
going to have to leave you to it.

Something more important
than our sacred quest?

That's hard to say but if I don't tend to
it soon, well, I just need to attend to it.

So you're just going to ditch me here?

No, no, no. I could drop you anywhere
you like, as long as it's not too far away.

Fine, whatever. Just drive.
I know where to get to next.

Weren't you considerably less
clothed last time I saw you?

It's called bait, Anders.

It's what you use to
reel in a dumb animal.

I think of it as false advertising.

Don't worry. You're still
at the top of my list.

Your "people I must annoy today" list?

My revenge fuck list.

I believe it's traditional in this situation
I now find myself as the scorned woman

to fuck a friend or sibling to get
back at the prick who dumped me.

Given that Mike has no friends,
that leaves the three of you.

And I've already done Axl
and have no need to go back.

And Ty has a girlfriend and morality is
so too much hard work. So that leaves you.

Oh. Well, glad I passed
your stringent criteria.

Not really. You want it too much.
Mike would totally expect it,

which takes all the revenge out
of it. And that's the fun bit.

What do you want, Michelle?

Apart from making my penis want to
crawl inside my body and never come out?

And wouldn't that be
doing the world a service?

I want my 175 grand.

- Pardon me?
- My share of the money you have.

Um, by my math, it's 100
grand, as in half of 200 grand.

No. You agreed to bring in
the 50 grand client, 25 each.

Anything above that,
logically, that money is mine.

Also, you screwed up my life
and I'm not happy with you.

Hm. I'm sorry, but your logic's not very
logical seeing as the money's in my bank account.

- Our business account.
- Under my name.

Don't fuck with me, Anders. I'm not very
well disposed to your family right now.

Really? Why? 'Cause Mad Mike
ditched you in search of a newer model?

Look, I'm sorry that rejection stings but I thought
you'd be happy to be clear of Mr. Popularity.

What newer model?

Oh, you don't know, do you?

Know what?

Oh, no.

Oh, no, this is too good.

Know what, Anders?

Well, the word is that Mike is
setting himself up as the new Odin.

Mike is out there now, even
as we do our little dance here,

trying to find Frigg so he
can keep her all to himself.

So before you come over here
accusing me of screwing up your life,

Michelle, maybe you
should be asking yourself

the real reason that Mike got so
bent out of shape over a stupid stick.

Maybe to free himself up so he
can go after who he truly desires?

So who's a dumb animal now, Michelle?

Look, I wouldn't completely rule out the
revenge fuck idea though. Did have merit.

No.

You shouldn't be in here.

Heimdallr.

You know who I am.

- But who are you?
- I'm Ullr.

Exactly. Nothing more.

You want to play games,
mate? I can play all day.

It's not a game. It's never
a game. It's too important,

which is why you need to stop all
of this. You're making it all wrong.

You have to listen to me. There are
so many things that could go wrong

because of you, too much at
stake for games. You hear me?!

You hear?

- Game on.
- It's not. No game.

- What's your name? I'm Michael.
- I know your name.

Well then you have an unfair
advantage in this game.

It's not a game.

The thing I don't quite get is all my
senses are telling me she's here but

- she's not.
- So you need to go.

So I guess you've done
your little trick on her.

- It's not a trick.
- Where have you sent her to?

Never telling.

She's not the one for you.

Nor you for her.

Mate, I can play this game all day.

It's not a game.

- It feels like one to me.
- It's not a game because it's not a game.

Two people have to agree to
a game, and I do not agree.

Oh, you...

...Prick!

Say my name.

Heimdallr.

And do you know what
Heimdallr can do to you?

Where I can send you?

I can send you bad places.

Why haven't you?

Because you're needed.

But you're not needed that much.

Needed for what?

Fuck!

Bastard.

Heimdallr again?

Yeah, he keeps sending me back here.

Well, lucky you.

It's better than the
realm of the ice giants.

He said I was needed for something.

Well clearly it's not for finding Frigg.

Yeah, obviously, so, what?

No idea.

Maybe he just admires your enthusiasm.

Oh, you've got a visitor.

- Who?
- The ghost of your recent past.

Are you here with or
without your chainsaw?

I need to know.

- What?
- The real reason.

For what? Why we broke up?

Did you dump me so
you could go after her?

Frigg.

Did you feel the need, Mike,

to trade up in the goddess department?

We've been seeking Frigg a
long time. Nothing has changed.

Bullshit!

You used to be after
her for your brother.

Now you want her for yourself to sit
beside you on your throne as the new Odin.

I've never claimed to be Odin.

I've never said the words, "I am Odin."

This teeny tiny fact seems to have
escaped everyone's attention here.

You don't need to say the words, Mike,
because we all know you think them.

We all get that you think
you're bigger than us.

So you can drop the fucking
hypocrisy and answer the question!

Did you want me out of the
way so you could go after her?

We ended because you turned everything
toxic, you and your bloody stick.

Playing your power games, messing
with the natural order. Now I

couldn't stand by and let
that happen. But, hey...

where's the hypocrisy in that?

Why are you looking for her, Mike?

You know why; because
we need to find her.

Axl needs to find her, not you.

Well I'm better at
finding things than he is.

Right there. Right there,
Mike, there is the hypocrisy.

Because you think you're better at everything
than Axl, up to and including being a better Odin.

Now who's messing
with the natural order?

You and I finished because you
made it impossible to go on.

I'm sorry if that truth doesn't sit
with you, Michelle, but it is the truth!

I hope you find her

and I hope she rejects you, and
I hope that really fucking hurts.

By the way, if you look in your wardrobe, you'll
find the chainsaw works on clothes as well.

I'll bet it does.

Ingrid: Oh, oh, I recognize this place.

Really? Is there some
significance to do with Frigg?

I've no idea. I stayed in places
exactly this once upon a time,

in my wilderness years.

Well, wild years anyway.

Up here.

Take your time, Ingrid.
We're not in any hurry.

Come on, Ingrid! Yggdrasil only
ever brought out what was inside you.

It's lovely of you to
say so, Axl, but so not true.

I know you can do it.

I believe in you, Snotra.

Thank you, my lord Odin.

Okay.

Okay, Ingrid, think positive, not negative
and see where you can go, see where you can go.

Heimdallr.

You mentioned him the other day.

- It's from the
"Eda." - The what-a?

"Widely I saw over all the worlds,

loud blows. Heimdallr.
The horn is aloft."

- No mention of Frigg?
- No.

- So what does it mean.
- That's a good question.

Is Heimdallr her brother, Martin?

Ah, and a sensible conclusion.

You're on fire today.

Yeah, thanks.

So, any idea what Heimdallr
and the horn means?

Well, there's the Ragnarok
reference obviously.

- Ragnarok?
- Yeah, Heimdallr blowing his horn

like a referee starting a tennis match.

Is this to say Ragnarok is kicking off?

Or it's an affirmation.

A what?

A little pick-me-up for him to
see when he wakes up every morning.

I used to write all sorts of
affirmations all over my walls.

During your wilderness years.

Okay, Ingrid, we might
just leave that one for now.

What about this?

I thought it must also be a clue.

Indeed, it does look very clue-ish.

So what do you think it means? "Vilive."

No, it's Vili and Ve.

- And they are?
- Odin's brothers in the Asgard times.

Oh, right. And what do
they have to do with it?

With your quest, not a lot,
although they both slept with Frigg.

That's not a sign of what's
going to happen, is it?

That we find her and she
sleeps with my brothers?

One brother in particular.

I want to say no, but we
can't rule anything out,

especially if he finds her first.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I need to borrow you for a while.

- Uh, now not the greatest time.
- Can't wait for another time, I'm afraid.

Actually, honey, can you ask Mike in?

He's kind of to do with what
we were just talking about.

Come in.

Do we have to do this now?

Oh yes.

Hi, Dawn. What's the problem?

Ty tells me there's a whole lot of
stuff going on with the Frigg thing.

- You could say that.
- And from what

little I understand,

if you find this woman and she and Odin,

whoever that may be, hook up,

then suddenly you're all
fully blown Norse gods again.

Am I right?

That's as far as we can make out.

So what exactly

does this mean for Ty and I, Mike?

My boyfriend, "the god of darkness" doesn't
sound good to me. Does it sound good to you?

No.

Yeah, we like to keep our house
at a balmy -30 and pitch black

because my boyfriend, Ty, oh, he's Hod.

You know, the god of
all things cold and dark.

Yeah, what fun
we have round our place....

in the cold and in the dark.

I'm sure it won't come to that, Dawn.

Oh, are you?
Are you sure, Mike?

Because what I've gleaned thus far is

you guys know fuck all.

About anything.

Hell, you can't even sort out who is or isn't
Odin and is therefore meant to be running the show.

There's this thing here
we need to do, Dawn.

We don't get a lot of say in it
because it's something we have to do.

It's the reason the
god part of us exists.

Odin and Frigg,

us getting our full powers,

absolutely right. We don't really
know what is going to happen.

But this day was always going to come.

We're gods,

like it or not.

And all we can do is embrace it

and have faith that when it does
happen we can somehow control it.

And I believe with all my heart, Dawn...

that somehow you and Ty will be fine

because you sure as hell deserve it
after all the shit you've been through.

Yet still the words "don't really know what's
going to happen" are ringing in my ears.

Can't change that.

But I still need to borrow Ty.

I need alcohol.

I'm glad I could be
of some use after all.

- Did you catch up with the new Odin?
- I don't want to talk about him.

- Oh. Has he found his new girlfriend yet?
- I don't want to talk about her.

If you don't want to talk
about them, why are you here?

Being cruel about Mike is where
we do some of our finest work.

- I'm ready.
- For what?

My revenge fuck.

In fact I think I've
more than earned it.

Gosh, wow, I'm flattered to be chosen.

Yeah, you should be.

Traditionally however the revenge fuck is only
revenge if the ex-significant other finds out about it.

What. Are you scared he actually
is Odin and will smite you?

Yeah, right. I just want to make
sure that he will find out about it.

Eventually, when his dreams
of glory are in the dust

and it will feel like the kick
to the scrotum he deserves.

Good to see you haven't
over thought this.

So...

up for the job.

Wow, definitely yes. I mean, unfulfilled
fantasy number 3. Quite a day.

I'm one of your unfulfilled fantasies?

- Yeah, are you flattered?
- At being number 3.

Two actually. You just
got bumped up the list.

I'm sure we can bump
it up to number one.

Oh. Perky.

What about "live iv."?

Axl: Meaning what?

IV is short for intravenously,

so maybe this refers to something
that lives in the bloodstream.

- Like a virus.
- Maybe.

And that helps us find Frigg how?

Not at all.

What if they aren't letters,

but numbers? Like Roman numerals.

So E for in Roman numerals?

- Nothing.
- Zero.

No, nothing, as in it's
not a Roman numeral.

- Oh, bugger.
- What if it's a mix of both?

Live 4.

IV is Roman for 4, right?

I remember that from
the Led Zeppelin album.

So this is saying there's
something to live for.

- Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah.

And what's this thing we're
supposed to be living for?

I don't know.

It might help if you did.

Yeah, well, it might help if you
could actually be, you know, of help;

if you were thinking rather
than just monging out.

That's harsh.

Yeah, well, it's true.

Man, I've worked my ass
off for you to become Odin.

I've taken a pounding,

physically, emotionally and
probably financially for this quest.

I may not be a god or family. I
have been there for you all the way.

And I don't even get invited
to the cool ceremonies,

but do I complain?

Okay, a little bit, maybe.

But apart from that,
I've been the most loyal,

the absolutely most loyal
Freki dude you will ever have,

and I do not deserve to be
told that I am monging out,

when all I'm doing is trying to help.

Sorry.

It's an emotional time for me too.

I know.

I totally know that, man.

I want to be Odin, Zeb.

I want it so bad now that I
can taste it, and it just...

it pisses me off that
we're stuck this close.

If I say the wrong
things, dude, I'm sorry

because when I'm Odin, I
doubly want you by my side,

and it doesn't matter if
you're mortal or whatever.

As far as I'm concerned, you're
Freki and you always will be.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Okay, you two need to look
away now because I might cry and

- I really don't want you to see that.
- Oh, Zebe.

Don't cry, you egg.

Alright.

So, uh,

"Vili" and "Ve", the only option we've
got that make anything close to sense.

That's true.

I'll try all the combos,

but none of them make any
more sense than this one.

And this one makes no sense at all.

It's us, as requested.

Although, Why we want to play Scrabble
at a time like this is beyond me.

We're not playing Scrabble, we're
here to look at Scrabble tiles.

There's a difference?

Pardon him, he's been on the
thinking juice for quite a few hours.

Yes, so I should be at the top of my thinking
game. Now, show me the tiles in question.

Ah. "Vili" and "Ve",

Odin's dirty, nasty brothers
who had their way with Frigg

while he was away being heroic.

- Yeah.
- Bam.

Nailed it! Hole in one for this oracle.

Yeah, we already got that one, Grandpa,
but what does it mean in the context of

here and now?

How in the name of Asgard would I know?

It's a wedding frock shop.

A bridal boutique?

How do you know?

They're clients of ours. We
deliver stuff to and from there.

The Vilive Bridal Boutique.

- Are you sure about this?
- Yeah.

They signed up with us
a couple of weeks ago.

The guy who came to talk
about it, he was weird.

You have got the name right?

- Yeah.
- I need to know.

It's
V-I-L-I-V-E.

"Vie-live" Bridal Boutique.

"Vee-leave"...
V for Victory.

Leave as in "leave me alone."

Right, cool. Got it, yeah.

Vilive.

Vilive.

Vilive!

Yeah, all over it.

- Heimdallr.
- No, Martin. Martin Lassen.

Hey, Lassen's kind of Norwegian,

Yes, good work, Stacey.

Am I the only here who feels like a
complete idiot that in this entire quest,

we never once thought to consider that
the Norse goddess of marriage might have

some kind of association
with a bridal shop?

Holy shitballs, it's Frigg's shop.

Yeah, it would seem so, Stacey.

Well, we better get our
asses down there now.

Yes!

Well, I think we can all
agree that was worth the wait.

And if we're not in Mike's bad books
now, there's always the sex tape option.

What, is unfulfilled fantasy number 1

"Send my brother pictures
of me humping his ex"?

Uh, no, can you not say humping,
please? It makes it sound tacky,

and no, not even in my top 10.

Mike is jealous enough of me as it is.

Oh, please.

I was way better than him, wasn't I?

I'm not even going to
dignify that with an answer.

Okay, I'll take that as a yes.

I could've said "no" and
you'd take that as a yes.

See? You know me so well. That's
why we're made for each other.

Are we?

Yes, peas in a pod, us.

But you know that.

Silly me for thinking I
might be better than that.

Can you stop that please? I will
not have self pity in this bed.

It's unattractive and it makes
me question my performance.

You're way better off
without Mike and with me.

Am I?

Hells, yeah. For starters, I haven't
deluded myself into thinking I'm Odin.

He's not deluded.

Mm-hmm, I beg to differ.

Mike thinks people are determined by their
actions, not by some title bestowed upon them.

Odin leads, Mike leads, ipso facto.

Seems an obvious conclusion to me.

Well, my money is still on deluded. Your money
too, seeing our money is the only money I have.

You want another drink?

Sure, why the hell not?

Too early for bubbles?

- Mike: You up for this?
- Yeah, I suppose so.

Good. So, game on?

Game on.

Hi, we haven't officially met,

- but I'm
Tyrone... - Hod.

Yeah, him too.

And you're Heimdallr, right?

What do you want?

I need to ask you some questions

about all the weirdness
that's been going on.

Why?

Because it all needs to be sorted out.

Don't you agree?

One very simple solution.

He leaves her alone.

I don't think
that's going to happen.

Look,

can I come in so we can talk about this?

Okay.

No, no, you tricked me.

Yes, but only because we do
actually need to talk to you.

That's unacceptable.

All we want to do is meet your sister.

She meets the true one, not the fake.

Mate, who are you to say I'm
the fake and not the real deal?

She is to choose, and one choice is all
she needs. There's no room for confusion.

So what you're saying is,

it is Frigg who chooses her Odin?

But not you. Never you.

Why not me? Why am I so dangerous?

- 'Cause you won't do the right things.
- Which are what?

What needs to be done. You
don't believe, so you won't act.

Can I meet her?

Everyone will meet her when
she's met her true Odin.

- You're the one leading us, right?
- What?

You're the one who's
making everything happen.

Am I right? Leading the way?

That's my job.

Right. Good. Just wanted to
make sure we're sorted on that.

You will meet her when it
is your time to meet her.

After you.

- You sure about this?
- Pretty sure.

- Pretty sure is not all the way sure.
- Just go.

Oh, that was freaky.

You get used to it.

I suspect we're in the right place
to find the goddess of marriage.

Yeah.

Sorry, mate.

I forgot to mention that when Ty and I turned up at
your house, we were in the middle of playing a game

- of follow the leader.
- No.

And then Ty, as is his right in the
rules of the game, made you the leader.

No. You're wrong.

Oh, shit!

Martin, what the fuck
are you doing? Stop it.

Okay, this is weird.

Olaf, wake up.

Are we at the beach?

We're here, you drunken oaf.

There it is.

That's where she is.

Frigg.

Are you feeling anything?

A little queasy.

No, I mean, a more godly anything?

Oh, right. No, but that's
a building, not a goddess.

True.

You coming or not?

Am I allowed to?

I mean, of all the godly
things, this is right up there.

Zeb, come on.

Freki is at Odin's side, as always.

No.

Here, okay, take these.

They'll calm you down, okay?

Hello?

My lady, Frigg.

Which must make you my lord, Odin.

I am.

Which is interesting because I've

been led to believe mainly through
my brother freaking out about it that

this man over here...

is also Odin.

Is that true?

I would lay claim to that title, yes.

Oh. Spend your whole life waiting for Odin to
show up, and when he does, there's two of them.

A bit like buses, really.

Must be my lucky day.

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