All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons s02e06 Folkmoot.eng

Eva. She's dead.

- Is she?
- Have you no respect?

I killed her, which I think
answers that question.

This is where I need you to man up.

I'm not experienced when it comes
to disposing of dead bodies.

I've only ever done this
one time before.

Don't make out like
I'm some kind of serial killer.

You'll keep.

And then there was this diagram
linking her and Eva and you and this freezer.

Isn't it obvious?
She thinks I killed Eva.

I might as well have, so Dawn can
join the queue of fellow believers.

Well, I don't think you did it, and
I don't know anyone else who does.

Colin does.

Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

Dyrstr ek kom, pessar hallar til,
Loki, un langan veg.

Hvi pegid er sva,

prungin god, at per maela ne megud?

Sessa OK stadi velid mer stumbliat,

eda heitid mik hedan.

Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.

Wakey, wakey, spread your legs.

Jesus, Colin. I'm sleeping.

Oh, stop that nonsense
and prepare to screw.

Happy. Sleeping.

And I have returned from a hard day
working the annals of justice.

And to reward myself,
I wish to shag.

A classic midnight root.

You, being
the current root of choice,

need to get with the programme.

I'm not your whore, Colin.

Indeed not, but let's be
very clear about one thing.

I am a god, you are a goddess,

so start behaving
in the appropriate manner.

I want a root, and I want it now.

Now we're getting somewhere.

- Oh, my God! Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
- Oh, no! Oh, no! No!

It's OK, Ingrid.
There's a fire!

Was a fire.
I was dreaming of, um, bells.

And then silence.

That would be the smoke alarm, the
one I turned off 10 minutes ago.

You are a sound sleeper.

I take pills sometimes,

just when things are getting
a bit loud in there.

Wow, how lucky are we

that you installed that smoke alarm
last week?

Yeah.
It was like you knew.

It should be my territory, but you
were miles ahead.

I'm sure it was a oncer.
Was it the fridge?

They burst into flames more often
than you'd think.

No. It was my bed.

OK. Well, that's less common.

Shit.

You were so lucky
you weren't burnt to a crisp.

Hod, god of all things cold.
For once, that's a good thing.

It must hurt, putting out
fire with your bare hands.

The cold tends to numb the pain.

I could tend them, if you like.
Your wounds.

They're not that wounded.

And your bed is burnt.
You'll need a place to sleep.

Honestly, I'm OK. Thanks, Ingrid.
Are you sure?

Yeah. But you might want to move out.

I've lived in more
burnt-out places than this.

For your own safety, I mean.
This was Loki trying to kill me.

No. No, that can't be.
Unfortunately, it is, Ingrid.

Gods killing gods - all wrong.
That leads bad places.

Especially for the dead one.
No, no, generally.

All bad for all of us.
There... there are ripples.

Some days you just want to
wake up, open your paper

and read of a fatal house fire.

Doesn't have to be multiple
fatalities. Just one will do.

Whatever spins your wheels.
Today is not one of those days!

This was at the front door for you.

Open it.

What did your last slave die of?

A parcel bomb.

Smoke alarms save lives.

Put it on the ground.
Why?

On the ground!

You are such a child sometimes.

Loki can be so unimaginative
at times.

Like he's the only one
who knows how to set fire to stuff.

Well, it was nearly me
he set fire to last night.

And he failed because
you were prepared. Good boy.

He knows.
He knows what happened to Eva.

If he knew he wouldn't
be after you, would he?

Oh, Colin's not as smart
as he pretends to be.

But he needs to be told what's what.

I can deal with Colin.

I'm sure you can, but let me
take a crack at him first.

I don't need you
to fight my battles for me.

I'm aware of that. But Colin
and I... we understand each other.

I'm surprised to hear that.

I don't want things escalating.
Understandable.

And I hear you.

The door was unlocked.

I must get that lock fixed.

Try locking it.

So, are you making millions?

I don't give a shit about the money.

No, seriously,
I'm a man of few needs.

As long as I'm covering the costs

of my cheapskate family drinking
all my booze, then I'm all good.

No, it's the...
the winning I truly like.

As I understood it, you can't lose.

Yet I still enjoy it.
Is that wrong of me?

Why are you here, Michele?

Unlike you, Mike, some of us are
capable of backing the wrong horse.

Ah, see, I'm crap at horseracing.
Can't pick a winner to save myself.

Work with me, Mike.

But you're the one
doing all the work here.

Really? I've seen
the lingering looks you've given me.

There are worse places to linger.

You've never had
the pleasure of a goddess, have you?

I hold a healthy mistrust
for the goddess as a species.

That's a real pity.

Put the right god and the
right goddess together - magic.

Unless, of course,
the goddess backs the wrong horse.

That can change.

Really? Even when they're shacked up
with Colin Gundersen?

Sure. Why not?

Look around.

Man pad. Bar downstairs.
Happy place.

The last thing I need is to mess
it up with a relationship.

Such a mortal outlook. Who said
anything about a relationship?

I was thinking more along the lines
of power sharing.

And sex, of course.

Sorry? You have power?

I am a goddess.
To be fair, a minor one.

And I have powers.
Which are what?

My powers deal with
the force of attraction.

I bring men and women together.

Or women and women, or men and men,
for that matter.

That's some serious
God shit right there.

Hmm.

I run a bar.
Alcohol has the same effect.

I can make the most undesirable
creature desirable to anyone.

Don't you dare call that minor.

The most undesirable?

The most hideous of the hideous.

Gosh, if that was true, then that
is a power worth having on my side.

Yes, it is.

If only you could prove this.

Did you have someone in mind?

A lot of women comment
on the size of my nose.

And you know what they say -
big nose, big...

Big nose, big...

Cock! Big nose, big cock!

It really isn't hard to see
why he's still a virgin.

If you can hook him up with anyone,
then you will have my attention.

It's not your attention I'm after.

Oh... to what do I owe the...?

No, pleasure's not really
the right word.

It's more a dull ache in the general
vicinity of the scrotum.

You paid my son a midnight visit.

Really?

Oh.

Sounds saucy.

But, sorry, I don't do men,

so I've got no idea
what you're talking about.

Trying to kill Ty will not
bring back your daughter.

Now, that is a very
serious allegation.

You have it in your limited
yet twisted mind

that Ty had something
to do with her death.

Well, he was her husband.
But he did not kill her.

Yet he did do very well
out of her death,

with the house and everything.

Eva was a headcase.

You know it. I know it.
The police know it.

In the end, she died as a result of
her own recklessness.

Now, you need to accept that
and move on.

You do me a disservice.

Ty was, and still is,
my treasured son-in-law.

With Eva gone from the known world,
he exists to keep her memory alive.

In fact, every time I see him,
I think of her.

Even in his sleep.

You need to leave here. Now.

I'm not hiding from him.
He will come after you again.

Gods killing other gods
it's not good.

Oh, as perceptive as always,
Ingrid. You can stay with me.

You were supposed to sort Colin.

We talked. He's not letting it go,
so this place is not safe for you.

At least not until
the whole sorry mess

is handled in a proper godly way.

Which is what?
Are we talking a folkmoot?

Come, stay with me.
OK.

No, not you!

No, I really don't think
it's a good idea.

Oh, as you wish.
What about Anders' place?

Dawn has gone on her holiday.
Would that be acceptable?

Oh, I like Anders' place.
It's quite flash.

Just give me 10 minutes to pack.
No, Ingrid, you are to stay here.

What?
In case Colin comes back.

But isn't that why we're leaving?

If he finds the place empty, he'll
burn it to the ground out of spite.

But didn't he try and do
that when we were here?

You'll be fine, Ingrid.

Think of it as repaying Ty
for his hospitality.

Hello, Axl. You have no breasts now.
I liked your breasts.

Yeah, well, you know how it is
shapeshifting

swings and roundabouts.

Some things shrink,
other things grow.

I'll take your word for that.

That came out wrong.
It did. I want your flatmate.

Gaia? I don't think
she's into chicks.

The other one.
Zeb? Seriously?

Yes. Very.

Did I hear somebody wants me?
You did. And I do.

Seriously?

I need to you to come with me.
I don't think so.

Oh, I think you should.

To do what?
An errand of love.

Will it get me laid?
Yes.

I need to gargle.

Excuse me.

This is weird. I should
come with you.

Are you fucking nuts?

She's a goddess, Zeb.
You can't trust goddesses.

Yet you still banged her.

As a woman. I was vulnerable.
She took advantage of me.

And now she wants to take advantage
of me, and I am good with that.

This is my moment, bro.
All the same...

Sorry, Axl. Just because when
you had her, you only had a vagina,

that's no reason
to rain on my parade.

She wants the Zeb driver, man...

..d I'm happy to oblige.

Take me.
Good boy.

Agnetha.
Michele, this is a surprise.

We were just leaving.
Not Axl, I hope.

Just me.
Good. Bye.

You seem worried.
Weird stuff's going on.

If Michele wants to amuse herself
with your flatmate, so what?

She's always been
short on priorities

and is of no significance
in the pantheon of the gods.

Your brother wants you
to call a folkmoot.

Right. And a folkmoot is...?

And you want to be Odin.

Well, technically, I am Odin.

Then act like him. Call a folkmoot.
It would help if I knew what it is.

Colin has tried to kill Ty.

What?

Why?

Because he's Loki and he's angry
about the death of his daughter.

That wasn't Ty's fault.

Yeah, I know that. You know that.

But Colin is walking
a different path.

He needs to be stopped, and the
only way is by holding a folkmoot.

Right. So is a folkmoot something
you actually hold - in your hand?

Oh, for fuck's sake. Did your
oracle teach you nothing?

Olaf's my oracle.

Oh.

Well, I'm sure even Olaf can explain
a folkmoot.

I'm counting on you to
do the right thing by your brother.

Of course. I will.
Once I know what I'm doing.

OK, so what happens now?

All will be revealed.

Remove your arm or I will break
it into 14 pieces.

One for each year
of your mental age.

I thought this was a love errand.

It is. Just not involving me,

because I wouldn't touch you
if you were dipped in chocolate.

Oh.

Argh! Whoa!

Ow! Jesus!

You idiot! Are you trying
to get me killed?!

She pushed me.

Stupid bitch! What
did you do that for?

There, there. No harm done.

Hello? I seriously
injured my arse just now.

But no-one died, did they?

No-one lost a loved one.
In fact, some may have gained one.

What the hell are you talking about?

What?
I should take a look at your injury.

At my arse?

Your place isn't far
from here, right?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

Come.

What about your bike?
She'll look after it.

A folkmoot? Gosh.

Did Agnetha say why
she wanted a folkmoot?

Because Colin tried to kill Ty.
What!?

Apparently, he's hell-bent on taking
Ty out

'cause he's fucked up
about Eva dying.

This folkmoot, what exactly is it?

When gods behave badly to other
gods, a folkmoot can be called.

It's a meeting of the gods.
Like a thing?

Bigger. A thing is like
a small thing.

A folkmoot is like a bigger thing.
It's not to be taken lightly.

It's a big thing thing where
important things are decided.

It's like a court, Axl.
Ah.

Presided over by
the senior god incarnate.

Which is me?
Yes.

The deal is you need
to arrange everything.

You call all the relevant gods
to it and then preside and decide.

A folkmoot? What is this?
The Dark Ages?

You expect me to drop everything

for a pointless round of
'who pissed who off?'

Spare me.
A folkmoot has been called.

I'd rather watch paint
dry off a nun's crack.

You have been summonsed, Colin.

"Summonsed"? Excuse me, man-child.

I do not get summonsed anywhere
by a 21-year-old building technology student.

You still have to go.

No. No, I don't.

I will not be there on the grounds
it's a load of antiquated bollocks.

No, you will be there.
Really?

As far as I know, you tried to
take my brother's life.

We require answers and
justification.

Oh, do we now?

We are gods, and that is what we do.

You don't need to like it, but
you sure as hell need to lump it.

And you will be there,
Loki, because I said so.

So this is Odin speaking now?

That's right.

You haven't told me where
this folkmoot will occur.

The usual place.

Fair enough.

When?
Look, I'll text you the details, OK?

Hi.
I wouldn't go in there.

It's my room.
No, really, I wouldn't!

Look, I'm tired, OK?

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Oh, my Lord!

I said don't go in there!
Holy shit!

When I came home, she had him bent
over the couch

I don't want to think about it!
Why are they in my room!?

Don't mind me. Just coming up
for air if you know what I mean.

Why are you in my bed?
I sleep in there!

Dude, my sheets are so crusty,

no way was I popping my cherry
in my bed.

Do you have any more condoms, man?
I'm totally on fire.

Hey, I haven't finished with you.

I feel violated.
I'm gonna take a shower.

Yeah?
You called?

When were you going to tell me
Colin tried to kill you?

It's nothing.

An attempt on your life
is hardly nothing.

It's my problem, Mike.
I'll handle it.

Obviously, not very well.
Oh, fuck you.

Hey, a folkmoot's been called.

I know.

So you'd better think about
what your angle is.

I have to go.

Jesus.

I took your key off you.

Olaf has one. For when Anders

Gets drunk and loses his. OK, I get
it. All the brothers have keys.

I thought
you'd gone on holiday.

I didn't.
No. Obviously, you're here and

And you're here, and this is
not your house.

This is totally
feeling stalkerish, Ty.

It's not. I'm not.
I... I needed some...

You still think I killed Eva.

It's hard not to.
But I told you it's not true.

You sure did, and you
were almost convincing.

But something didn't quite ring true

and then, lo and behold, I see you
kissing your old family friend,

the one who is very keen
to get me out of the country,

on your doorstep.

You mean Agnetha?
Yes.

And old is the operative word.

You've been spying on me?

I was passing.

Now who's stalkerish?
Fuck you.

She's almost old enough
to be your mother, Ty. It's sick.

It's not like that.

What else am I supposed to think?

Why shouldn't the police think
the same thing?

There is truly no need
to call the police.

There will be if you don't leave.

D-do you remember
the night you nearly died?

Which time, Ty, out of my
two near-death experiences

of recent months?

The first time.

Not really.
I was in a hyperthermic state.

My heart rate had dropped to
below 20% of its normal function.

Well, I do.

And it was without question
the worst night of my life.

The thought of losing you
was impossible to comprehend.

Which you felt so strongly about,
you suddenly married someone else.

Whereas the night Eva died,

which should have been
the worst night of my life,

seeing as she was my wife,

it wasn't,
because I was here with you.

Looking after you.

And there was nowhere else
I would rather have been.

But were you?
What?

Here.
Yes.

I was asleep.

I know.

So it's hard for me to know
if you were here or not.

I stayed by your side all night

because I care about you so much,
Dawn.

And I-I know I can't prove
I was here, but I was.

And... I... know we can't be together

and that breaks my heart,

but I'm not a killer.

I swear.

Folkmoot, my arse. One small
house fire, not even a fatal one,

and we're expected to sit around
holding hands, talking about our feelings.

It's bullshit.
And yet compulsory.

That is not the point.

Even a powerful man like Colin
Gundersen can't wangle his way out of it.

How does that make you feel?

Emasculated?

You're getting a bit lippy on it.
Must be the mood I'm in.

Maybe you should put
those lips to better use.

Oh, for goodness sake.

No, seriously, on your knees.

Not going to happen.
Not now. Not ever again.

Why? Are you on strike?
Has someone sewn it shut?

I'm leaving, Colin.

Fine. Piss off, then.

Do I care? No.

Actually, you're doing me
a big favour.

Am I?
Yes, sweetheart.

A big fucking favour.

I was getting bored with you anyway.

Then you won't mind if I do this.

Oh, fuck! Shit!

Colin... a stupid
fucking name for a god.

I have to go to work,
but I so don't want to.

But I'll be back as soon as soon.

And I shall be here, reloaded
and ready to shoot that load.

I'll call you.

That's nice, but traditionally
girls don't call me.

Stace?
Told you I'd call. I miss you.

Total conquest!

Seven and a half times!

That's great, Zeb. I'd love to hear
more, but I've got a night shift.

Bye, Axl.

Nailed by a goddess, no less.

Man, we didn't just do the book
of Kama Sutra; we tore out the pages and totally rewrote it!

What's that smell?
That'll be the pheromones, bro.

I thought BO was a bad thing, but
Stace was totally gagging for it.

No, it smells like butter.
Oh, we ran out of lubricant.

But it's OK. I put it back in
the fridge so it won't go rancid.

I'm gonna make sandwiches.
You want a sandwich?

The silly girl was supposed
to be on a plane.

Clearly, she didn't go.

It was a generous offer
and non-refundable tickets.

Agnetha, she still thinks
I killed Eva.

Stupid, stupid girl.

She's talking of going
to the police.

She can pore over newspaper
clippings. She'll find no proof.

Proof or no proof,
she thinks I'm a murderer.

Our plan was thorough, Ty.

Your plan.
I wish it had never happened.

Is that so?

I love Dawn.

Now she thinks
I'm some kind of killer.

Oh, that's ridiculous
and you know it.

We have the folkmoot tomorrow, where
we will get Colin off your back.

How?

When gods go feral, they get their
wings clipped.

And after that,
I will take care of Dawn.

What do you mean "take care of"?
I will make it all alright, Ty.

How?
I just will.

After the folkmoot.

I helped cover up a
fucking murder, Mike.

But you didn't actually kill her.

What difference does it make?
Quite a lot, as it happens.

Not if Dawn thinks I'm a killer.

If every time she looks at me
and sees a murderer,

what's the point in going on?

I don't want to live like that.

Not that it matters if our mother
the psycho killer gets to Dawn.

How far will you go?

What sort of question is that?

How far will you go, Ty,
to keep Dawn safe?

Yes, you fucked up.

The moment you let our mother
back into your life, you did that.

But you can make good on this...
if you're willing.

How?

So, let me get this straight

the folkmoot must be conducted
in a godly hall?

No, outside the hall.

The hall is where the top god
you

retreats to contemplate
and seek counsel from...

your oracle.

Oh. Good.
But it can't be just any hall.

The roof must be thatched
from the hair of 12 giants

and the walls woven
from the skin of 14 dwarves.

I'll just pop down to
Mitre 10, then.

Maybe it doesn't have to be
that literal.

I've got something that will do.
Leave it with me.

Oh, and bring your sword.
Why?

It's a folkmoot.

Hello there.

Good evening.

Drink?
I'm good, thanks.

Maybe there's no point in locking
that door

if anyone can wander in
here whenever they want.

Perhaps, subconsciously you crave
visitors,

hence you only think
you locked the door.

So amateur psychology
is another of your powers?

My awesome powers -

the ones which have led
to one less virgin in the world

and a cycle courier of curious
sexual persuasion on total heat.

Job done.

This is a game, isn't it?

What we're doing here.

Dancing around each other.

I suppose it is.
Mm-hm.

And, uh...

I can't lose at games.

So I've heard, but I'll need proof.

I need to know you're not
some masquerading minor god

trying to trick a fair-minded
goddess out of her panties.

Doesn't Colin lay claim
to those... panties?

Colin is nursing
two very swollen testicles

that just happened to collide
with my knee.

Ouch for Colin.

So let's play a game.

Let me see these so-called powers
of yours.

Alright.

Take off your shoes.

Hmm.

Now unbutton your top.

Are you participating in this game?
Oh, yes, I am.

And does this game have a name?

It is called
Strip the Goddess Naked.

What are the rules?

When the goddess is naked...

I win.

And what do I get out of this game?

Me.

Hello, Colin.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

Uh, not looking,
but, um, I need to find my keys.

Hi, Axl. Won't be long.
Ah, no, please take your time.

No, no, I need to bum
a lift to the folkmoot.

Me too.
No way, you are not coming.

Shit, did you tell Stacey
you know about god stuff?

Yeah, cool, eh? We agreed not to
have any secrets from each other.

Yeah. Total honesty
keeps the chakras open.

Yeah, intensifies the
orgasms, eh, honey?

Hell, yeah!

OK, I'll, uh, wait in the car.
OK.

Bye, Axl.

It's hardly a hall, is it?

Don't knock it.

She's kept me sheltered from
many a storm on surfing safaris.

I wish Zeb was here.

I would so do him in a tent.

I do hope there's even numbers.
It can get awkward otherwise.

Oh, you've misheard.

This is a folkmoot, not a folknatt.

I'm aware of that.

Is it not traditional that after
the folkmoot, there's folk dancing?

Oh, not in our family.
Oh. I'm disappointed.

Oh, but I like your outfit.

Thanks.
The bells - nice. Ting-a-ling.

Ting-a-ling. Yes.

Ooh, you don't have to be an oracle
to see what's going on there.

What is wrong with your grandfather?

It's a type of palsy.
He can't help it.

I don't think your mother approves.
Good.

So, I guess we're waiting
on Colin, then.

The accused.

He makes this cute little grunting
sound just before he spurts.

Excellent to know, Stacey.

I'm going to send him
a picture of my boobs.

I fear you've created a monster.
It'll wear off in a couple of days.

Hmm. An interlude for
Stacey to be proud of.

What if he doesn't turn up?

The only excuse
for missing a folkmoot is death.

We'll wait a bit longer, then.

Well, here's a sorry-arse-looking
bunch of gods if ever I saw one.

Is he allowed to have a sword?

Unsure of the protocol there.

My Lord Odin.

Colin.
God names.

Loki.

Baldr.
Loki.

Well, let's get this show
on the road, then.

OK.

Baldr, your counsel, please.

One moment.

Ah, of course.

I have no freaking idea what to do.

I sensed that.
Then tell me what to do.

First of all, don't overthink
things. You're the judge here.

Just listen to the accusation and
mete out punishment if required.

What sort of punishment?
That's up to you. Usually death.

Death?
Hence the sword.

Did I not mention that?

No. I'm not chopping
Colin's head off.

No, no, no, no. You'll be
chopping off Loki's head.

This is god business.

Sorry, gents, but I do have
a 3 o'clock in town.

Could we please get this show
on the road?

Just remember you're Odin
and you have the power.

Great.

Time for you to preside.

Grandpa!
God names!

OK, uh, we are gathered here
today...

among these trees
to discuss an alleged crime.

Alleged?

He tried to kill another god.
I demand justice.

Loki, you are accused of
attempting to take the life of Hod.

Uh, what have you, you know,
got to say to this allegation?

Well, yep, I did it.

Cocked it up, clearly,
'cause the bastard's still alive.

Disappointing, really.

Oh. Right.

Well, I guess you're guilty, then.

Now, I'm not sure what the
traditional punishment is

in a case like this.

Being strung up by your legs

with a serpent dripping venom
into your eyes for all eternity.

OK, that sounds a bit extreme,
and we don't have serpents in NZ.

Death.

Death is the only punishment should
one god strike down another god.

Then obviously the same punishment
should be meted out

to those who slew the goddess Hel.

Even to your keen legal mind,
my Lord Odin,

actual murder has to be worse
than an attempted murder.

And we will consider that
after you are dead, Loki.

Hang on, my understanding

is that Hel went nutso
and ended up killing herself.

You have proof otherwise?

Proof? What exactly is proof?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

If by proof you mean do I know
exactly what happened and how,

then, yes, I have proof.

My daughter, in every realm,
was murdered.

And if this folkmoot
is to mean anything,

it is to hold that god that did
do the slaying accountable.

She was found
full of pills and booze...

so clearly her killer knew she
wasn't averse to that sort of thing.

She then drove her car into remote
bush, stumbled down a path, fell,

hit her head on a rock and drifted
off into a hypothermic demise.

This is what the mortals believe

and they believe it
because it's very plausible.

Too plausible, in fact.

Too neat and tidy for
a Johnson boy to concoct.

Well, no offence, fellas,
but you're just not that clever.

Here's what I know really happened.

Someone entered Eva's house.

That someone smacked
her over the head with a rock,

plied her full
of said pills and booze

and dragged her into Hod's
special place to die.

The door was jammed shut.

When I went inside, I saw Eva had
tried to fight her way out, but...

I got there too late.

But if it helps,
I did see her spirit leave.

You murdered my daughter, Freyja,

out of some perverse attempt
to free your son

from what you saw
as a doomed marriage.

I didn't ask her to do it.

I didn't want her to do it.

She did it of her own accord.

Why are you telling me this?

Because the truth needs to come out.

Because if she isn't stopped,
she will do it again.

And that's something
I can't have on my conscience.

I did what I had to do to protect
you and love you.

I'm your mother.

No.

No, you're not.

Here you are the goddess Frejya.

I call for judgment.

OK.
And swift and immediate sentencing.

OK, the crime of killing another god
is pretty much the worst one ever,

especially seeing as there
aren't many of us.

So my judgment, as Odin,

is that Frejya's punishment
shall be...

that she must shape-shift back
into being a tree

for a period of no less...

than a mortal life.

I thank you for your wisdom,
my Lord Odin.

What sort of soft-cock
solution is that?

Why not give her home detention
or scrub-cutting by the side of the motorway?

I demand something more
in keeping with the crime.

No. I have decided.

And your decision is bullshit.

Oh, screw you. I'll do it myself.

- Odin has spoken.
- It will be done.

You turned out to be
just another god after all.

No.

I'm just a guy doing what it takes
to save someone I love.

Saving a mortal? How very noble.

Very well.

So be it.

Well, I believe after
a good folkmoot,

the tradition is that
we drink until our eyes bleed.

And folk dancing.

Oh, thank God you're alive.
I've been trying to call you.

So nice to see you and smell you.

You weren't answering your phones.
I turned mine off for the folkmoot.

My battery died after I sent
you the photo of my boobs.

Yeah, that was awesome.

Why? What's the big deal?

I thought you guys might have
been killed in the fire.

What fire?
Dude, the forest fire.

Look.

Forced to pedal for their
lives after being almost...

It broke out in the same area of
the forest you guys were hanging in.

It's like this firestorm,
totally blitzing the area.

OK, that's not good
if you're a tree.

Sorry, who's a tree?
...cause of today's fire,

but they say that arson cannot
be ruled out at this stage.

Oh, you bastard.

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