All language subtitles for Schooled.S01E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10_Eng

ADULT ADAM: Ah, the '90s.
The decade of the TV spin-off.

Hercules gave us Xena.

Buffy gave us Angel.

And The Golden Girls
gave us...

The exact same show
without Bea Arthur.

The '80s were my decade,
my story, my glory days.

But that wasn't the case
for Lainey Lewis.

LAINEY: Back then,
my romance with Barry Goldberg
was legendary,

but in the end,
it wasn't meant to be.

Yep, my story
was just beginning.

I was driven to leave
our small town,

destined to become the biggest
rock star in the world.

Hello, Austin!

...Fletcher's
eighth birthday party.

You're a big boy now,
Austin.

Like most music careers,
mine started at the bottom.

But I did have
some brushes with greatness.

* I want my baby back
* Chili's baby back ribs

* Barbecue sauce

Now, uh, let's hear it
with just the guys.

MEN:
* I want my baby back... *

LAINEY: But years
of coming up short

couldn't satisfy
my rock 'n' roll dreams.

(LINE RINGING)
Or my mounting debt
and anxious dad.

(MODEM BEEPING)
I had to face reality
and find a real job.

You need to face reality
and find a real job!

Yes, Daddy.
I'm well aware.
(MOUSE CLICKING)

And then, with the help
of '90s Internet technology,

the perfect fallback job,
the answer to all my problems
appeared before my eyes.

Every fiber of my being
pointed to "Yes."

No.

But I'd be a great
choral teacher.

I love music. I work well
with children probably.

The only drawback is that
you have no experience
or knowledge or references.

Actually, I do have
one reference.

That's not nearly enough.
Hello, Jonathan.

Oh, (BLEEP) me!

This girl is an angel
from Heaven,

and if you don't
hire her right now,

I'm just gonna have to show up
here every day until you do.

Welcome aboard.

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Made you
a shrimp Parm.

(TIRES SQUEAL, SCREECH)

LAINEY: Yep, I was back
in my old school,

but as a teacher...

A teacher who overslept
on her first day.

Exactly like I did
every day I went there.

Oh, son of a...

Well, well, well.
If it isn't Lainey Lewis.

Hey, Coach.

You're looking...

Weirdly,
exactly the same.

You're late,
smartmouth.

Throw on
some gym clothes

and get into right field
with Sanjeev.

Yeah, I was a student here
years ago.

I'm the new
music teacher.

You?
But you're a troublemaker
and a slacker.

A lot has changed,
and I am an adult now.

You're wearing
two different shoes.

Shut up, nerd!

No, not nerd.
Uh, valued student.

Way to cover.

Welcome back,
Lainey Lewis.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

* One of these days
You're gonna get outta here

* Live your life
and finally be free

* Go where you wanna go
Do what you wanna do

* Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" *

LAINEY: It was January 9th,
1990-something,

and even though I was off
to a rough start,

I was ready to prove
I was an adult,
a real teacher.

Oh! No students
in the teachers lounge.

This is where we talk
and show emotions.

Again, not a student.
We just went
over this outside.

Ah. Muscle memory.

You know,
every time I see you,

my first instinct
is to give you detention.

Well, can you stop?
Oh, like all my muscles,

my memory's jacked,
but I will do my best.

Hey, gang,
just wanted everyone

to give
our new music teacher,
Lainey Lewis,

a big
teachers lounge welcome.

COACH MELLOR: All right!
All right, all right!

So, I bet
it's pretty exciting

getting a glimpse
behind the curtain, huh?

Oh, yeah. Getting to see
your old gym teacher

slurp down
that thick drink.

S-So magical.

Chicken and beets.
Still warm.
You want a pull?

I'm good.
Thanks, Coach Mellor.

Coach Mellor? Come on,
you're one of us now.

From here on out,
it's first names only.

You got it.

I wanna say Stanley?

No. It's John.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
Wow.

Anyways,
uh, any questions?

Yeah. When do
the paychecks start?

(CHUCKLES) As if we're here
for the money, right?

(CHUCKLES)

Wait, no, you're not actually
here for the money, are you?

Of course not.

But is it possible

to get the
whole year's salary
in one lump sum?

Because I have a bit of
a credit-card disagreement.

Okay, I know that being
a teacher wasn't your dream,

but it is my dream
as the new principal

not to look like an idiot.

So try.

Look, why don't you
grab your syllabus,

and let's get to
making a difference
in those kids' lives.

Syllabus.

**

That's a bonsai tree.

Syllabus.

LAINEY: While I was struggling
with the basics of teaching,

Coach Mellor was
about to get a lesson

on the changing style
of basketball.

For years,
Coach prided himself
on teaching teamwork,

but he was finding
that kids in the '90s
had different ideas.

Whoa!
What the hell was that?

I think it was a pump fake
followed by a monster jam.

Okay. If you want
to make my team,

you always pass three times
before you shoot.

You think Michael Jordan
passes three times?

Big man wants to be
like Mike, huh?

All right!
Scrimmage time!

Two teams!

Over here... Matty!

Over there...

Everyone else.

(SNEAKERS SQUEAKING)
Wait, what?

Well,
let's see what happens

when Senor Showboat thinks
he can win on his own.

Ball in!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

LAINEY: Yep, Coach
was gonna teach his kids

to believe the team was bigger
than any one player.

* It's such a... *
(MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS)

Let's just say,
it didn't go well.

COACH MELLOR: Good work, boys!

Lulling him into
a false sense of security!

* It's such a... *
(MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS)

Looks like they're
toying with you, Matty!

* It's such a good... *

* It's such a... *

* It's such... *

Did any of you
eat breakfast?

LAINEY: As Coach lost his way
with his star player,

I was finding my way
in my new job.

"Lewis."

Yeah.

And welcome.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Um, let's see what
our first assignment is.

"Fall doo-wop concert"?
Seriously?

Okay. Let's start
with Yakety Yak.

(STUDENTS GROAN)

Hey, you.

Lose the Discman.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

Sorry, I don't sing.
(MUSIC TURNS OFF)

Well, you signed up
for the class,

and now
you're gonna do doo-wop.

Actually, I need to go
to the nurse's office.

Um, no.
What?

Here's the thing.
The "I need to go
to the nurse's office

"because I want to get out
of a boring class" move's

not gonna work with me,
because... (CHUCKLES)

I'm the one
who invented it.

But my stomach hurts.
I have...

Cramps.
Way ahead of ya.

But this is A...
America,
and you have rights,

and I can't stop you?

I wasn't...
Gonna say that?

No. I was gonna say
that I don't have to listen

to some loser who failed
at life, so she has to teach.

(STUDENTS SNICKERING)

Get out.
Gotcha.

Forever.
What?

You're out of my class
forever.

You can't do that.
Oh, I can, and I will.

In fact,
no more school at all.

You can't kick me
out of school!

Oh, I most certainly can,
I think!

In fact, I'll kick you
out of all schools.

Your mom can teach you
in your kitchen.

You can't do that,
I think!

Oh, yes, I can,
I think!

Because I'm a teacher!

Fine!

**

Coach,
I need to ask you

a very,
very important question

about the dos and don'ts
of educating.
Shoot.

Can I ban a student
from all schools
for all of her life?

You can't. Education is
a fundamental right.

That is unfortunate.

While I have you here,
what's with the kids
of your generation?

It's all about
"me, me, me."

And basketball
is a team sport.

You know
who this guy is?

Michael Jordan,
the most famous
person in the world?

Yeah, well, he's a pain
in the glutes.

He's so dominant,
he's literally

changing the game
of basketball.

Not to mention these.

Now every kid wants to wear
these shrunken clown pants,

and short shorts
are no longer cool.

Hey, styles change.

Everyone's got to move on
and evolve at some point.

The problem with Matty isn't
about being afraid to change.

It's about teaching him
the values of teamwork,

and until I can figure out
a way to get through to him,
I'm sticking to my guns.

Well, so am I.

That girl Felicia's
out on her ass for good!

Besides,
I'm a teacher now.

It's not like
I can get into trouble.

Yeah,
you're in trouble.

It's not my fault!

You made me teach doo-wop
on my first day.

Hey,
the fall doo-wop concert

is a toe-tapping
school tradition

that dates back
all the way to the first...

Fall doo-wop concert.

The problem is
that girl Felicia.

She's an angry
rage monster.

She's my niece.
So you get it.

I actually think
that you could help Felicia.

She's just like you were
in high school, except worse.

(SCOFFS)
She's nothing like me.

She's rude,
disrespectful...

That does sound like me.

But she doesn't sing,
and I would always sing.

Actually, Felicia's
the best singer in the school.

She just completely shut down
since her parents split up.

That's awesome.
What? Why?

That's what happened to me
in high school!

Maybe I can connect with her
over it and stuff.

Now you're thinking
like a teacher.

This gives me hope.

Actual hope,
not the lying kind.

Thanks, Mr. Glascott.
I needed this.

First names only.

I wanna say Alvin?

Alvin? Seriously?

LAINEY: So, I went
to connect with Felicia,

and as a former crappy kid,
I knew just where to find her.

* And put you
in your place

* But mostly
punch your face *

Aww. You wrote a song
about me.

She knows
it's about her.

Run!

Your uncle's right.
You do sing.

I got to say,
I'm impressed.

(SCOFFS) Impressed?

Hey, I wrote tons of songs
about people who piss me off.

The truth is,
I'm not the enemy.

How's that, exactly?

I get what
you're going through.

My parents got divorced
when I was in high school,
too.

So that's why
you're still a mess.

Are you seriously being
a smartass about this?

I thought we
were gonna connect!
Vibe about divorce!

Who wants to vibe
about divorce?

Dear God,
you suck at this.

Oh, do I?

What's in your backpack?

Nothing! Just books!

Schoolbooks
for learning!

And...

A bottle of Zima...

For my book report
on Zima.

I didn't just invent
the "see the nurse
to cut class" move.

I also invented the "party
under the bleachers" move.

So, now what?

Now you're gonna sing
the dumb doo-wop solo

so your uncle thinks
we connected
and I inspired you.

If not, I'm gonna tell him
that you have a taste

for this embarrassing form
of fruit-flavored alcohol.

But you can't
blackmail me!

And yet, I just did.

**

LAINEY: It was
the first game
of the year,

and Coach was firing up
his team.

Go, team!
Let's go, go, go!

Yeah, let's do this!

Whoa. What the hell
am I looking at?

My... My shorts.

Those aren't shorts.

Those are... Culottes.

What's a culotte?

It's a knee-length
trouser,

cut with a very full leg
to resemble a skirt!

These are NBA shorts.
Michael Jordan wears these.

Go change right now!

No.

If anyone
needs to change,

it's you.

Then you don't play.

Tell ya what...

Don't bother benching me,
Coach.

I quit.

Read the room,
Captain Howie.

* You just put on
your coat and hat

I can't believe you inspired
Felicia to sing again.

How'd you do it?

To be a great teacher,
you have to be a great human.

Clearly,
that's what I am.
(CHUCKLES)

* Bring in the dog
and put out the cat

CLASS:
* Yakety yak *

Don't talk back!

(LAUGHS)
Not only a toe-tapper,

but a valuable message
about politeness.

I can't do this!

I can't be this peppy!

I'm Audi 5000.

Hey!

We had an agreement.

You stay,
or I tell your uncle

about your enthusiasm
for adult fruit juice.

Or maybe I tell him
that you not only
didn't report me,

but you took the Zima
and drank it.

Ooh, Zima!

Is it beer
or is it liquor?

Not now,
Johnny Atkins!

So tangy
and delicious!

(SWITCH CLICKS,
WHIRRING STOPS)

You can't blackmail
a blackmailer, missy.

I will
so take you down.

And I'll take you down
with me.

Wait.

We both lose
if we destroy each other,

but I might have a solution
that works for both of us.

(GRUNGE MUSIC PLAYS)
* Yakety yak, yakety yak! *

LAINEY: And just like that,
I got my first truly inspired
idea as a teacher.

Felicia would still
do the concert.

We'd just take the doo-wop
songs and make them grunge.

LAINEY: Come on!
Put some shoulder into it!

And it was awesome!

I was finally connecting
with my students.

This is how you mosh!

(MUSIC STOPS)

Oh, crap!

I love grunge!

(CHEERING)

You are the principal
now, John.

You just can't let Mellor
bench our star player.

Say something!

You can't bench
the star of the team, Rick.

I don't even get
why Earl is here.

He's not even
the principal anymore.

But I am
on the Board of Trustees,

and we answer
to a lot of rich donors

who are outraged because
the most talented athlete

is transferring
to Germantown Academy!

Matty's transferring?
Go fix it.

If I can get through to him,
the kid can go pro!

It's not a choice!

I'm just trying to get Matty
to learn teamwork.

It's not a choice!

How dare y...
Not a choice.

I...
Not a choice.

This is...
Not a choice.
Not a choice.

You don't...
Not a choice.

**

Stupid
Board of Regents.

It's like they completely
forgot we were undefeated
from '81 to '89!

And now
it's the '90s.

Times are changing,
and so is our school.

But some change
is wrong!

Shorts are meant
to be short!

It says it right there
in the name!

I know you like things
done your way, Rick,

but being a good teacher means
being open to new ideas.

"A Night of Grunge"?

What happened
to doo-wop?

I thought you said
being a good teacher

was being open
to new ideas.

New ideas is one thing.
This is madness!

This school has been
welcoming in the fall season

with doo-wop
for over 30 years.

We are not
doing grunge now.

What do you got
against grunge, man?

You people are gonna learn
the realities of grunge music

from a man who knows it
better than any of you.

Kurt Cobain?

I don't know
who that is.

I'm talking about the one
and only Mr. Phil Donahue.

(TELEVISION TURNS ON)
This is moshing.

You get in the middle
of the floor,

and you bang
each other?

You give elbows?
This isn't funny.

Mark my words, people.

There will be no moshing
at the fall concert.

You will sing Yakety Yak,
and you will not talk back.

But...
Don't talk back.

But...
Don't talk back.

The only reason I agreed
to sing this stupid solo

is so she wouldn't
rat me out.

Rat you out?
For what?

Not having Zima?

So you blackmailed her
to get her to sing?

I thought you did it
by caring.

I do care. I got them
excited about the concert.

Did I use blackmail
to do it? Yes.

Did Sanjeev dislocate
his wrist? Sure.

Everything I'm hearing
is wrong!

You're a teacher now.
Act like it.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Okay, people.
Phil Donahue has spoken.

No more grunge.

Are you seriously just
gonna bail on our thing?

Okay.

Class is over.

Tomorrow,
it's back to doo-wop.

This is on me
for actually thinking

life didn't suck
for once.

I'm sorry. I was just trying
to connect with the kids.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.
It's my fault for thinking

that you could actually
be a good teacher.

What were you
expecting?

I never planned
on being here.

This job is just
supposed to pay the bills

till I get
my big break.

Don't you get it?

This is your big break.

And I'm the only one
giving you a shot to
do something great.

And you're blowing it.

**

LAINEY: Coach was told
to stop teaching the best
way he knew how,

but that was
never gonna happen.

Live in sort of
a regular house
for a showboater.

Coach, it's over.

I'm transferring
to Germantown.
I made up my mind.

Oh.

'Cause I was here
to give you a chance

to do things your way,
you know?

Be team captain,
slam dunk,

wear those blousy skirts.

What's the catch?
You got to beat me
at HORSE.

(CHUCKLES)
But if you lose,

you got to let me make you
into the ultimate team player.

Who shoots first?

Oh, I forgot to mention,
I was the, uh,

17 and Under
Trick Shot Champion
of Southeast Pennsylvania.

(BASKETBALL BOUNCES)

And I'm an actual
basketball player.

All right, hot shot.

Let's ride.

Off the roof.
Nothing but net.

**

Ooh! Looks like you just
got yourself an "H"!

Nothing but net.

Nothing...but...net!

(GRUNTS)

Yeah!

Off your dad.
Nothing but net.

**

S-Sorry, Carl!

Hail Mary,
nothing but net.

Whoever misses next
loses.

(PANTING)

It's game time,
Coach.

I know
you can't do that.

You sure about that,
hot shot?

(SCREAMS)
(THUD)

Nothing but net.

Are you crazy?
You could have
killed yourself!

I'm fine.

Question is,
how are you?

After all, you won.

Well, seeing as you almost
broke your neck... (CHUCKLES)

...it feels
kind of empty.

Yeah, well,
maybe that's 'cause

there's nobody here
to share it with.

But if you had a team,
you're never alone.

Why do you care
so much?

You're the best athlete
I've ever coached.

At this level, you can
do it all on your own,

but if you go pro,
you're gonna need
to rely on a team.

Until you learn that,
I'll never give up.

(CHUCKLES)
Okay.

I get it.
(SIGHS)

LAINEY: Coach had
finally found a way
to get through to Matty.

As for me,
I was more lost than ever.

Crying in the teachers lounge
after hours, huh?

Well...

I guess you really are
a teacher now.

It's been a tough week.

Uh-huh.
Tell me about it. (SIGHS)

Please.
You were born to teach.

But me? I sucked
at being a rock star,
and I suck at this.

"Born to teach"?

When I was your age,
I wanted to go
to the Olympics.

Wanted to be a wrestler.

But I blew my knee out.

I didn't know that.

And after I got hurt,
I thought I had nothing left.

Then an old high school coach
suggested that,

with my passion for sports,
I might be a good teacher.

I always thought this was,
like, what you wanted.

It is now.

I see a kid win,
make a difference
in their life,

that's better
than any gold medal.

You'll feel it, too.

Actually,
I did feel it, too.

But then Glascott said
I was doing it all wrong.

Were you?
I didn't think so.

Well, then,
that's all that matters.

In this job,
the best teachers
follow their hearts,

no matter what.

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

Thanks, Coach.

It's Rick.

You're one of us now.

LAINEY: Rick showed me
that even the best teachers

have to find new ways
to inspire their students.

He even found a way
to inspire me.

You here
to search my locker?

No, I'm here
to apologize

for not sticking
up for you guys
the other day.

Thanks, I guess.

You know what?
Between the wine coolers,

our crappy attitudes,
and our parents' divorces,

we're kind of the same.

Look, when I was
a student here,

I thought the teachers
were super annoying.

But the truth is,
they helped me
get through a lot of stuff.

Actually,
they still do.

Maybe I can be
your annoying teacher.

I wouldn't hate that.

Here.
You're gonna need this.

We got a grunge show
to do.

LAINEY:
Seeing Felicia up there
doing what she loved,

what I loved,
I realized that

even though I might
have put my dreams
on hold for this job,

in the end, I got
a lot more back than
I ever thought possible.

We need to talk
about this concert.

I know.

It's crazy and dangerous
and awesome,

and if I'm gonna work here,
then I do it my way.

I have so much to learn,
but the one thing I know
is I can do this.

Actually, I was gonna say
"Well done."

What?

These kids are having the time
of their lives in there.

You did that.

And while you do
have a lot to learn,

I'm gonna have to learn
to trust you.

Good.

And thank you.

But no more moshing.
Understand?

Deal.

Starting tomorrow.

(SIGHS)

LAINEY: Change can be scary,

but whether
you're ready for it or not,

it's gonna happen.

And if you embrace it,

you might just discover
new things about yourself.

And when you have a team
who supports you,

together, you can fly
higher than you ever
thought possible.

Team's really digging
the new uniforms, Coach.

You know what?

So am I.

They really let the quads
breathe, you know?

You look weird.

I feel weird, Matty.

Speaking of change,
you know, our football team

could use a quarterback
with an arm like yours.

Because of that game of HORSE?
We were just goofing around.

Well, let's just say
I got a hunch.

**

(BELL DINGS)

**

I'm Rick Mellor,
high school football coach.

I'm Matt Ryan,
NFL quarterback.

I have
so many good memories,

whether it was playing
basketball, Ping-Pong...

Hitting the crossbar.

Hitting the crossbar
at football practice after...

They banned that,
by the way.

Oh, man,
they need to bring that...

That's how I got good,
I think.

Matt played
all three sports.

He actually started for me
as a freshman in baseball.

And I think
one of the
finest memories...

Matt hit
a line-drive foul ball...

(LAUGHING)
And I almost killed you.

I almost killed him
on the third-base line.

I forgot until
you brought that up,

but I literally
almost killed Rick.

I think anybody growing up
idolized Michael Jordan.

With the short shorts on.

And then they got
a little bit longer.

You know,
I was really lucky

to have coaches
like Coach Mellor.

And it was
a unique relationship

and something
that was very special to me.