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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,331 --> 00:00:33,913 Mummy's diary, episode 27...No, 28. 2 00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:36,788 15th April, at...11:42. 3 00:00:36,789 --> 00:00:40,080 Well, I'm on the plane, coming to Greece. 4 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:43,747 I remember holding you in my arms, the day you were born, 5 00:00:43,748 --> 00:00:48,748 and now you're getting married. 6 00:00:49,164 --> 00:00:52,497 No, I'm not going to cry, 7 00:00:52,498 --> 00:00:55,538 the way I always do when I film myself. 8 00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:57,372 OK, then... 9 00:00:57,373 --> 00:01:00,538 Next episode: landing! 10 00:01:00,539 --> 00:01:04,955 I love you. 11 00:01:04,956 --> 00:01:07,038 What a sweet thing to do. 12 00:01:07,039 --> 00:01:09,705 It's a surprise for her. 13 00:01:09,706 --> 00:01:12,788 I started when she said she was getting married. 14 00:01:12,789 --> 00:01:14,955 A lovely present. 15 00:01:14,956 --> 00:01:16,872 There's a big fat cheque too. 16 00:01:16,873 --> 00:01:19,413 One's daughter doesn't get married every day. 17 00:01:19,414 --> 00:01:22,413 As a rule, marriage is a stupid mistake. 18 00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:24,580 But at 22, to some Greek... 19 00:01:24,581 --> 00:01:26,955 Well, it's her life to throw away! 20 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:29,830 I married young, I'm very happy... 21 00:01:29,831 --> 00:01:30,455 Nikos! 22 00:01:30,456 --> 00:01:32,163 Something's wrong Madam? 23 00:01:32,164 --> 00:01:33,497 Yes, what is this? 24 00:01:33,498 --> 00:01:34,330 This is Feta. 25 00:01:34,331 --> 00:01:36,830 No, it's not. It's cow, not sheep. 26 00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:38,413 Shall I bring you... 27 00:01:38,414 --> 00:01:42,413 No, thanks, I'm fine. 28 00:01:42,414 --> 00:01:46,497 No, don't eat that! It's disgusting. 29 00:01:46,498 --> 00:01:48,038 Where are we? 30 00:01:48,039 --> 00:01:51,038 Hang on, let me check. 31 00:01:51,039 --> 00:01:52,622 Three, two, one... 32 00:01:52,623 --> 00:01:56,497 Welcome to Germany! We've just crossed the border. 33 00:01:56,498 --> 00:01:58,163 That thing's amazing. 34 00:01:58,164 --> 00:02:02,580 You can follow where you're going as if you were flying it. 35 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:05,497 That's weird. We've just changed course. 36 00:02:05,498 --> 00:02:08,538 Delays, here we come! 37 00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:12,247 Ever thought about flying for real? 38 00:02:12,248 --> 00:02:13,580 Of course. 39 00:02:13,581 --> 00:02:16,872 But it'd mean taking lessons with beginners. 40 00:02:16,873 --> 00:02:18,247 And I'm no beginner. 41 00:02:18,248 --> 00:02:21,830 Anyway, my daughter's wedding has cost me a fortune. 42 00:02:21,831 --> 00:02:23,080 My princess. 43 00:02:23,081 --> 00:02:25,455 Congratulations. 44 00:02:25,456 --> 00:02:27,122 And with this simulator 45 00:02:27,123 --> 00:02:31,622 you can go wherever you like, whenever you like. Look... 46 00:02:31,623 --> 00:02:33,413 I'd love to go to Japan. 47 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,997 Charles de Gaulle terminal 2A, 48 00:02:35,998 --> 00:02:37,622 take-off for... 49 00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:41,330 Tokyo, 5 years ago, with C�cile. A great trip, great shopping. 50 00:02:41,331 --> 00:02:42,955 Saint-Barth', 51 00:02:42,956 --> 00:02:44,163 Saint-Trop'... 52 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,663 Saint-F�licien. 53 00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:49,038 We visited a killer cheese factory. 54 00:02:49,039 --> 00:02:53,580 Every year we discover a new part of France. Its cuisine... 55 00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:57,622 C�cile in the Renault 5 I started my driving school with. 56 00:02:57,623 --> 00:02:59,163 I have a Clio now. 57 00:02:59,164 --> 00:03:02,080 Meg�ve. We go to my chalet every February. 58 00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:05,163 I broke my leg that year. 59 00:03:05,164 --> 00:03:07,247 C�cile when she was born. 60 00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:08,747 And her father? 61 00:03:08,748 --> 00:03:10,455 - He's dead. - I'm sorry. 62 00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:14,288 They say the good die young. Not this time! 63 00:03:14,289 --> 00:03:17,080 My baby when she was born. 64 00:03:17,081 --> 00:03:18,663 She's cute. 65 00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,788 Her mother looks a bit burnt. 66 00:03:20,789 --> 00:03:23,663 I had a witchdoctor put a hex on her. 67 00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:25,830 But she only broke her leg. 68 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,913 A bit of a result, anyway. 69 00:03:27,914 --> 00:03:31,913 Careful! 70 00:03:31,914 --> 00:03:33,830 Sorry. 71 00:03:33,831 --> 00:03:36,580 I didn't know you were here. 72 00:03:36,581 --> 00:03:40,497 You're allowed to fly with new boobs? 73 00:03:40,498 --> 00:03:42,622 I got special permission. 74 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,747 You've got a good seat. 75 00:03:44,748 --> 00:03:46,997 Right next to the shitter! 76 00:03:46,998 --> 00:03:49,913 Ha ha! Now can you leave me alone? 77 00:03:49,914 --> 00:03:52,330 Nice! A present from your wife? 78 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:55,538 Splashing out at the supermarket, eh? 79 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,413 What is it? Corsica? 80 00:03:57,414 --> 00:03:59,413 No, it's half a heart. 81 00:03:59,414 --> 00:04:01,080 And she has the other half? 82 00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:03,705 How sweet! 83 00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:05,247 Where is er...? 84 00:04:05,248 --> 00:04:10,248 Sylvie. She'll come later. She didn't want to see your ugly mug. 85 00:04:11,039 --> 00:04:16,039 Oh, Uncle Roger! Still not dead? 86 00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:36,038 Alain! I know it's you! 87 00:04:36,039 --> 00:04:39,080 Alain! 88 00:04:39,081 --> 00:04:40,580 Shit! 89 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,247 Open this door! 90 00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:43,288 Nikos! 91 00:04:43,289 --> 00:04:45,413 This is your captain speaking. 92 00:04:45,414 --> 00:04:49,038 Due to a serious meteorological problem, 93 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:52,622 we shall have to land in Munich. 94 00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:57,623 Told you, didn't I? Saw it on the computer. 95 00:05:00,331 --> 00:05:02,455 A spectacular phenomenon has occurred 96 00:05:02,456 --> 00:05:05,247 as an Icelandic volcano breathing a cloud of ashes 97 00:05:05,248 --> 00:05:07,038 is blocking the air traffic 98 00:05:07,039 --> 00:05:12,039 throughout all of northern Europe. 99 00:06:07,414 --> 00:06:12,414 TH E VOLCANO 100 00:06:34,373 --> 00:06:37,872 Darling, there are no flights. 101 00:06:37,873 --> 00:06:41,038 We've been stuck here for hours. 102 00:06:41,039 --> 00:06:42,288 Excuse me. 103 00:06:42,289 --> 00:06:47,289 Switch the TV on. You have TV in Greece, don't you? 104 00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:49,330 What can I do? 105 00:06:49,331 --> 00:06:53,580 Make a human chain with buckets, all the way to Iceland? 106 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:58,581 No, I'm not being cynical, but there are no flights. 107 00:06:58,706 --> 00:07:01,372 No, I'm just saying it might be a sign. 108 00:07:01,373 --> 00:07:05,288 A wedding without guests or a dress may not be a wedding. 109 00:07:05,289 --> 00:07:07,372 Excuse me. 110 00:07:07,373 --> 00:07:08,788 Excuse me. 111 00:07:08,789 --> 00:07:10,288 What about your dad? 112 00:07:10,289 --> 00:07:13,413 Behind his stupid looks, he's a sad old man. 113 00:07:13,414 --> 00:07:15,538 He'll be on his way back to Paris. 114 00:07:15,539 --> 00:07:18,038 Yes yes I know I know no more car 115 00:07:18,039 --> 00:07:20,163 but please you have to help me, give me a car. 116 00:07:20,164 --> 00:07:21,413 Sorry. No cars... 117 00:07:21,414 --> 00:07:23,580 Come on, the bus is leaving. 118 00:07:23,581 --> 00:07:25,747 Sir, Sir, do you have a daughter? 119 00:07:25,748 --> 00:07:26,705 Yes, Why ? 120 00:07:26,706 --> 00:07:28,580 I marry my daughter, my little daughter. 121 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:29,830 I am a father. Father like you. 122 00:07:29,831 --> 00:07:30,330 Look. Look. 123 00:07:30,331 --> 00:07:33,247 Toudoudou...Tou...dou...dou...dou... 124 00:07:33,248 --> 00:07:35,038 No. Please Sir 125 00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:37,288 Give me a car! Give me a car!!! 126 00:07:37,289 --> 00:07:39,122 Sorry. No more cars. Sorry... 127 00:07:39,123 --> 00:07:44,123 Come on, Alain! 128 00:07:47,123 --> 00:07:51,080 Cry, Uncle Roger! Cry! 129 00:07:51,081 --> 00:07:55,038 Please... 130 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:58,663 Ok Guys, please stop! Stop. Stop. Stop this now! 131 00:07:58,664 --> 00:07:59,872 A car, A little car, a little car! 132 00:07:59,873 --> 00:08:02,663 OK, here, this is our last car, OK? 133 00:08:02,664 --> 00:08:04,872 Normally, I've to keep it for special guests. 134 00:08:04,873 --> 00:08:07,413 So please, don't tell anybody. 135 00:08:07,414 --> 00:08:08,622 How much is it? 136 00:08:08,623 --> 00:08:09,747 Four Thousand euros, sir. 137 00:08:09,748 --> 00:08:14,748 What?! 138 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:22,914 Where are you going? 139 00:08:40,498 --> 00:08:45,498 The bastard! 140 00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:01,747 Yes, sweetheart. 141 00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:05,580 Don't worry, I've found a car. 142 00:09:05,581 --> 00:09:09,247 Yes, and I have your dress. 143 00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,788 Your mum? 144 00:09:10,789 --> 00:09:13,455 She's on the bus back to Paris. 145 00:09:13,456 --> 00:09:16,122 Well, you can't count on her. 146 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,538 But Daddy's here, eh? 147 00:09:18,539 --> 00:09:22,247 Your friends are here, with Uncle Roger. 148 00:09:22,248 --> 00:09:24,205 Yes, we picked them up. 149 00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:25,788 Hi. 150 00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,830 Wicked car! 151 00:09:27,831 --> 00:09:30,580 For 4,000 it should be! 152 00:09:30,581 --> 00:09:34,330 You don't need to thank me, sweetheart. 153 00:09:34,331 --> 00:09:36,955 Someone on the other line? 154 00:09:36,956 --> 00:09:39,622 Your mother? No, don't answer... 155 00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:41,413 Shit! Let's go, quick! 156 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,830 In the car, quick! 157 00:09:43,831 --> 00:09:45,955 Get in the car, quick! 158 00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:49,080 What are you talking about, a bus? No, I'm with him. 159 00:09:49,081 --> 00:09:50,538 He's right here. 160 00:09:50,539 --> 00:09:54,913 Yes, we have the dress. Everything. 161 00:09:54,914 --> 00:09:57,372 - Say hello. - Hello. 162 00:09:57,373 --> 00:10:02,373 I'll call you when we're on our way. See you. 163 00:10:02,623 --> 00:10:05,122 Oh, so you wanna play? 164 00:10:05,123 --> 00:10:10,123 I'll make you bleed! 165 00:10:13,081 --> 00:10:14,747 Hey, what are you doing? 166 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:18,747 I've been caught in the crossfire between you two before. 167 00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:21,205 I have a few years left, so... 168 00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:22,538 Bye. 169 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,372 No, Uncle, those days are over. 170 00:10:25,373 --> 00:10:30,373 Drive carefully. 171 00:10:37,998 --> 00:10:40,747 Ignition. 172 00:10:40,748 --> 00:10:44,455 Code. 173 00:10:44,456 --> 00:10:48,788 Seat adjustment. 174 00:10:48,789 --> 00:10:51,372 Hands at ten to two. 175 00:10:51,373 --> 00:10:52,913 Interior mirror. 176 00:10:52,914 --> 00:10:57,622 Exterior mirrors. 177 00:10:57,623 --> 00:11:00,497 Tiptronic automatic gearbox. 178 00:11:00,498 --> 00:11:04,163 Indicators. 179 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,705 Headlights, dipped, full beam. Windscreen wipers: 180 00:11:07,706 --> 00:11:12,706 speed 1, speed 2, speed 3. 181 00:11:13,998 --> 00:11:15,413 GPS, 182 00:11:15,414 --> 00:11:18,705 Greece, Corfu. 183 00:11:18,706 --> 00:11:22,830 A change from your Clio, eh? 184 00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:25,497 Buckle up in the back, please. 185 00:11:25,498 --> 00:11:28,455 You, don't bother! 186 00:11:28,456 --> 00:11:30,747 2,132 kilometres. 187 00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:32,497 Here we go. 188 00:11:32,498 --> 00:11:37,498 No smoking. 189 00:11:53,831 --> 00:11:56,247 We're really pleased to meet you. 190 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:59,663 C�cile must have told you lots about me. 191 00:11:59,664 --> 00:12:01,580 No, she's never mentioned you. 192 00:12:01,581 --> 00:12:06,581 - What a surprise! - Or you. 193 00:12:07,914 --> 00:12:11,872 How long have you been married? 194 00:12:11,873 --> 00:12:13,580 - We're divorced. - Always have been! 195 00:12:13,581 --> 00:12:14,705 I'm sorry. 196 00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:19,706 Would you be sorry about having a tumour removed? 197 00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:29,205 What do you expect C�cile to say about you? 198 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,663 Don't start! 199 00:12:30,664 --> 00:12:35,664 "Dad lives in a crappy flat in a crappy suburb with my stepmother... 200 00:12:37,164 --> 00:12:38,663 "He dresses like a loser, 201 00:12:38,664 --> 00:12:43,247 "and in the evening watches TV like the loser he is." 202 00:12:43,248 --> 00:12:45,288 "Mum has a whale of a time! 203 00:12:45,289 --> 00:12:47,913 "She has lots of money and lots of boyfriends, 204 00:12:47,914 --> 00:12:51,038 "but no family and no friends. 205 00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:54,080 "She's all alone." 206 00:12:54,081 --> 00:12:56,122 "Dad's such a laugh! 207 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,163 "The funniest thing about him 208 00:12:58,164 --> 00:13:01,038 "is his driving school with only one car. 209 00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:03,705 "Two cars would be too much work. 210 00:13:03,706 --> 00:13:06,622 "Because Dad is a lazy slob!" 211 00:13:06,623 --> 00:13:10,205 "When a sick pet is brought to Mum's clinic, 212 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,038 "Mum shags the customer because Mum's a slut!" 213 00:13:13,039 --> 00:13:14,122 Take that back! 214 00:13:14,123 --> 00:13:15,872 What, you didn't do that? 215 00:13:15,873 --> 00:13:18,038 - We were separated! - Not divorced! 216 00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:22,205 I'll lose you your deposit! 217 00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:23,455 Put that down. 218 00:13:23,456 --> 00:13:25,538 Put it down...Put it down! 219 00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:27,080 This is ridiculous. 220 00:13:27,081 --> 00:13:28,955 - Take it back! - It's OK. 221 00:13:28,956 --> 00:13:30,747 Just keep out of it. 222 00:13:30,748 --> 00:13:33,997 - Take it back! - Don't open that! 223 00:13:33,998 --> 00:13:38,998 Take it back! 224 00:13:41,539 --> 00:13:42,872 No, don't go. 225 00:13:42,873 --> 00:13:46,163 Reunions are always a bit tricky. 226 00:13:46,164 --> 00:13:51,164 - I know why she never mentions you. - You're sick! 227 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:57,206 Come back, please. Don't leave me alone with her. 228 00:13:59,623 --> 00:14:02,663 Mummy's diary, episode 29. 229 00:14:02,664 --> 00:14:06,413 Still 15th April, at 4:11 p.m. 230 00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:09,580 I'm in one of those fabulous German motorway caf�s, 231 00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:12,955 where they sell sausage by the metre. 232 00:14:12,956 --> 00:14:16,538 And as your father is a fat bumpkin, 233 00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:20,330 he took two and half metres! 234 00:14:20,331 --> 00:14:24,205 There aren't any flights. What can I say? 235 00:14:24,206 --> 00:14:27,997 I have to go. She's my daughter after all. 236 00:14:27,998 --> 00:14:32,622 Just thinking of this wedding without you or the kids 237 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:36,038 makes me want to cry. 238 00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:41,039 Val�rie? No, I don't know where she is. 239 00:14:46,331 --> 00:14:47,830 Go for a wee now. 240 00:14:47,831 --> 00:14:52,831 We're not stopping again. 241 00:14:56,539 --> 00:14:58,872 Be happy 242 00:14:58,873 --> 00:15:02,663 "it'll be a boy" And now here you are 243 00:15:02,664 --> 00:15:05,622 C�cile 244 00:15:05,623 --> 00:15:08,580 My daughter 245 00:15:08,581 --> 00:15:12,038 Here you are, and here am I 246 00:15:12,039 --> 00:15:14,163 I am thirty 247 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:18,622 And you're six months old 248 00:15:18,623 --> 00:15:20,622 Nose to nose 249 00:15:20,623 --> 00:15:22,622 Looking into each other's eyes 250 00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:27,623 Which of the two of us is the most amazed? 251 00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:35,497 That was brilliant! 252 00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,247 Oh, God! 253 00:15:37,248 --> 00:15:40,122 I only hope he does that in front of everyone, 254 00:15:40,123 --> 00:15:45,123 with his voice cracking and sobbing... Thank you, God! 255 00:15:46,373 --> 00:15:51,373 Pathetic! 256 00:16:06,456 --> 00:16:08,622 I'm sorry. 257 00:16:08,623 --> 00:16:12,705 But put yourself in my place. That song still winds me up. 258 00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,580 It was 22 years ago. 259 00:16:14,581 --> 00:16:17,205 Maybe. 260 00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:19,455 But we decided on Elodie, 261 00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:21,080 then you named her C�cile 262 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:26,081 because on the way to register the name you heard that song. 263 00:16:26,539 --> 00:16:28,663 I have a right to be pissed off. 264 00:16:28,664 --> 00:16:33,247 And obviously it was her name that made you dump us both! 265 00:16:33,248 --> 00:16:36,788 How dare you? We were too young, that's all. 266 00:16:36,789 --> 00:16:38,913 Admit what you did. 267 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,163 You forced me to leave. 268 00:16:41,164 --> 00:16:42,455 The crap you talk! 269 00:16:42,456 --> 00:16:47,456 Not again. We've already discussed this 700,000 times. 270 00:16:48,956 --> 00:16:51,330 But I'll tell you something. 271 00:16:51,331 --> 00:16:54,538 If you sing that at the wedding, I'll be... 272 00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:56,455 moved. 273 00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:57,788 Moved? You? 274 00:16:57,789 --> 00:16:59,872 Look. 275 00:16:59,873 --> 00:17:04,873 Just for this journey, can we bury the hatchet? 276 00:17:12,289 --> 00:17:13,788 - It's on me. - No, I'll get it. 277 00:17:13,789 --> 00:17:15,163 No, leave it. 278 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:20,164 No, I insist. 279 00:17:34,956 --> 00:17:36,288 What's wrong? 280 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,538 Why won't it start? 281 00:17:38,539 --> 00:17:43,539 Shit! 282 00:17:46,206 --> 00:17:50,538 You need the code. 283 00:17:50,539 --> 00:17:55,539 You need a code to start fancy rental cars. 284 00:17:56,123 --> 00:17:57,413 What? 285 00:17:57,414 --> 00:18:01,247 Look at the screen there, with the figures. 286 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,163 There. 287 00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:08,164 Now open the door and move over...bitch. 288 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,788 It's for thieves and half-wits like you. 289 00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:33,789 Oh, OK! Can we go now? 290 00:19:20,498 --> 00:19:21,788 Oh, let me help you. 291 00:19:21,789 --> 00:19:22,788 I got it. No it's OK. 292 00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:24,247 Help you. No. No no no. 293 00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:26,038 I'm not sleeping here. 294 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,872 I'm not sleeping here. 295 00:19:29,873 --> 00:19:32,455 Take the car, then. 296 00:19:32,456 --> 00:19:35,372 The code is 2512. 297 00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:38,330 No, it's 42...No, 0812. 298 00:19:38,331 --> 00:19:39,997 4455... 299 00:19:39,998 --> 00:19:44,998 My fingers remember it, not my brain. 300 00:19:48,748 --> 00:19:52,538 Oh, no! 301 00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,497 You love all this, eh? 302 00:19:54,498 --> 00:19:59,498 Yeah, it's nice and traditional. I'll take the bottom. 303 00:20:00,956 --> 00:20:02,205 I bagsy it! 304 00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:05,872 I said it first, you can't. 305 00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:06,663 I have! 306 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,872 We're going to have a problem. 307 00:20:08,873 --> 00:20:11,080 Yes, we are. 308 00:20:11,081 --> 00:20:12,830 OK, the chinny game! 309 00:20:12,831 --> 00:20:14,038 I'm not a kid. 310 00:20:14,039 --> 00:20:16,747 We always used it to settle things. 311 00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:21,748 OK, but you never made me laugh. 312 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,663 Hold the chin of the other chap 313 00:20:25,664 --> 00:20:28,288 The first to laugh gets a slap! 314 00:20:28,289 --> 00:20:33,289 And the upper bunk! 315 00:20:39,123 --> 00:20:41,205 A riddle for you. 316 00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:46,206 What do you call a fish with no eyes? 317 00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:50,080 A fsh. 318 00:20:50,081 --> 00:20:52,455 A fsh. 319 00:20:52,456 --> 00:20:54,205 Mask of seriousness. 320 00:20:54,206 --> 00:20:56,163 Mask of iron. 321 00:20:56,164 --> 00:21:01,164 Mascarpone. 322 00:21:02,748 --> 00:21:07,748 I am Chinese wise man. 323 00:21:10,831 --> 00:21:12,330 "Hello. 324 00:21:12,331 --> 00:21:14,580 "My name is Val�rie. 325 00:21:14,581 --> 00:21:16,788 "How handsome you are. 326 00:21:16,789 --> 00:21:20,247 "And I am so ugly." 327 00:21:20,248 --> 00:21:21,372 I didn't laugh! 328 00:21:21,373 --> 00:21:26,373 No, you win. I'll take the top bunk. 329 00:21:33,789 --> 00:21:38,789 I don't believe it! 330 00:22:02,581 --> 00:22:04,663 What happened? 331 00:22:04,664 --> 00:22:09,664 You must have had a nightmare. 332 00:22:35,039 --> 00:22:38,080 Why not go with Helmut, then? 333 00:22:38,081 --> 00:22:42,247 Your half-and-half face must make a change from the routine. 334 00:22:42,248 --> 00:22:45,122 Well, you should know all about "routine". 335 00:22:45,123 --> 00:22:48,038 Missionary position once a month, 336 00:22:48,039 --> 00:22:50,580 then straight off to sleep. 337 00:22:50,581 --> 00:22:53,830 At least I have someone at home waiting for me. 338 00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:58,247 You couldn't cheat on your cleaning lady if you wanted to. 339 00:22:58,248 --> 00:23:01,413 One, she's a domestic engineer. 340 00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:04,997 And two, I don't want to cheat on her because I love her. 341 00:23:04,998 --> 00:23:08,205 But if I did want to, I'd have no problem, OK? 342 00:23:08,206 --> 00:23:13,205 At my school I get the come-on from chicks like you every day. 343 00:23:13,206 --> 00:23:18,206 I can pull whoever I like. End of discussion. 344 00:23:18,414 --> 00:23:23,288 Whoever I like! 345 00:23:23,289 --> 00:23:25,830 The girl over there. 346 00:23:25,831 --> 00:23:30,831 Get her phone number and I'll make my own way. 347 00:23:33,206 --> 00:23:34,413 And the dress? 348 00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:38,247 You take it. 349 00:23:38,248 --> 00:23:39,622 That's a crap idea. 350 00:23:39,623 --> 00:23:42,872 I knew it. 351 00:23:42,873 --> 00:23:45,122 No, I'll do it. 352 00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:48,455 It's still crap, though. 353 00:23:48,456 --> 00:23:51,788 And if by some chance you don't manage it... 354 00:23:51,789 --> 00:23:56,247 No, the car's in my name. 355 00:23:56,248 --> 00:24:00,455 Then you travel in the boot. 356 00:24:00,456 --> 00:24:03,205 Me, in the boot? 357 00:24:03,206 --> 00:24:06,747 OK. 358 00:24:06,748 --> 00:24:10,247 You'd better phone C�cile to tell her you'll be late. 359 00:24:10,248 --> 00:24:15,248 Yeah, go on. 360 00:24:18,539 --> 00:24:23,539 Hi, hello. I am, I am Alan. 361 00:24:34,081 --> 00:24:39,081 What's the dickhead doing? 362 00:24:51,664 --> 00:24:53,872 I'll get your stuff out of the boot. 363 00:24:53,873 --> 00:24:57,538 Can I see that? 364 00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:00,413 Give me that. Give it here! 365 00:25:00,414 --> 00:25:03,163 Starting with 06? French? 366 00:25:03,164 --> 00:25:05,288 She has double nationality. 367 00:25:05,289 --> 00:25:09,413 She's half from here, half French. 368 00:25:09,414 --> 00:25:14,414 06-6722-2576 369 00:25:15,998 --> 00:25:20,998 Someone's calling you. I think it's me. 370 00:25:21,498 --> 00:25:24,788 You couldn't even make a number up. 371 00:25:24,789 --> 00:25:28,705 It was the first to spring to mind. 372 00:25:28,706 --> 00:25:33,706 You're not really going to make me go in the boot? 373 00:26:10,123 --> 00:26:13,330 You really don't want the bags on the back seats? 374 00:26:13,331 --> 00:26:18,331 - No, they'd scuff the leather. - As you wish. 375 00:26:27,498 --> 00:26:29,580 Mummy's diary, episode 30. 376 00:26:29,581 --> 00:26:34,581 I'm eating up the miles on the way to Corfu. 377 00:26:35,706 --> 00:26:38,372 Who's that? Dad? 378 00:26:38,373 --> 00:26:40,538 What were you doing in the boot? 379 00:26:40,539 --> 00:26:42,830 Scared someone'll steal your bag? 380 00:26:42,831 --> 00:26:44,913 Switch that off. 381 00:26:44,914 --> 00:26:49,914 And keep your eyes on the road! 382 00:26:49,998 --> 00:26:52,247 Go on, get out of my way! 383 00:26:52,248 --> 00:26:53,997 Hey, keep a safe distance! 384 00:26:53,998 --> 00:26:58,955 One chevron = danger. 385 00:26:58,956 --> 00:27:00,663 You're a shit driver. 386 00:27:00,664 --> 00:27:04,830 I had a shit teacher. 387 00:27:04,831 --> 00:27:07,663 Don't pick up, stay focused. 388 00:27:07,664 --> 00:27:09,455 No, Val�rie! 389 00:27:09,456 --> 00:27:10,913 Hello, Martine? 390 00:27:10,914 --> 00:27:13,330 No, I haven't checked my e-mail. 391 00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:16,288 I'm stuck with my ex-husband. It's hell. 392 00:27:16,289 --> 00:27:17,913 Watch out! 393 00:27:17,914 --> 00:27:19,122 Look! 394 00:27:19,123 --> 00:27:19,955 Can't you see? 395 00:27:19,956 --> 00:27:21,747 No! My phone! 396 00:27:21,748 --> 00:27:26,748 Here's your phone. 397 00:27:29,456 --> 00:27:34,456 Val�rie! 398 00:27:44,498 --> 00:27:45,622 Val�rie! 399 00:27:45,623 --> 00:27:50,623 We tried but it didn't work. Make your own way. 400 00:27:50,789 --> 00:27:52,122 You're sick, Alain. 401 00:27:52,123 --> 00:27:53,788 You're really sick! 402 00:27:53,789 --> 00:27:54,830 You need help! 403 00:27:54,831 --> 00:27:58,163 Hey, watch it! Don't start that again! 404 00:27:58,164 --> 00:28:03,164 Stop it! Stop hitting me! 405 00:28:06,039 --> 00:28:08,955 - The handbrake! - What handbrake? 406 00:28:08,956 --> 00:28:13,956 Watch out, Alain! 407 00:28:37,248 --> 00:28:42,248 Alain! 408 00:28:42,623 --> 00:28:45,413 Alain! 409 00:28:45,414 --> 00:28:46,747 Alain, wait. 410 00:28:46,748 --> 00:28:49,830 - Leave me alone. - Stop sulking. 411 00:28:49,831 --> 00:28:52,788 Yes, I'm blowing it out of proportion! 412 00:28:52,789 --> 00:28:55,330 Because you forgot the handbrake 413 00:28:55,331 --> 00:28:58,288 I've lost my license, so I'm unemployed. 414 00:28:58,289 --> 00:29:01,747 A driving instructor sort of needs a driving license. 415 00:29:01,748 --> 00:29:04,663 OK, I'm sorry. Happy now? 416 00:29:04,664 --> 00:29:07,622 There's no need to apologise. 417 00:29:07,623 --> 00:29:11,330 I'm delighted that I now owe the rental company 25 grand. 418 00:29:11,331 --> 00:29:14,538 It might bother me that my clothes were destroyed. 419 00:29:14,539 --> 00:29:16,122 My laptop too! 420 00:29:16,123 --> 00:29:19,163 But no, I'm just being fussy. 421 00:29:19,164 --> 00:29:21,080 If you need money... 422 00:29:21,081 --> 00:29:25,163 All I want is to get to my daughter's wedding on time. 423 00:29:25,164 --> 00:29:29,122 No, actually, there's one thing you could do for me... 424 00:29:29,123 --> 00:29:34,123 Die! 425 00:30:03,873 --> 00:30:07,122 Here. 426 00:30:07,123 --> 00:30:08,580 No, I'm good. 427 00:30:08,581 --> 00:30:13,581 Take it. 428 00:30:21,498 --> 00:30:23,372 There's a bus in one hour. 429 00:30:23,373 --> 00:30:28,163 We'll catch that and not speak until we're there. 430 00:30:28,164 --> 00:30:33,164 It's a deal. 431 00:30:35,623 --> 00:30:40,623 At least you still have your mobile. 432 00:30:43,914 --> 00:30:47,913 - What? - Come on! 433 00:30:47,914 --> 00:30:52,914 - What? - "What?" 434 00:30:54,539 --> 00:30:56,788 Hurry, it's leaving! 435 00:30:56,789 --> 00:30:59,372 There was a queue. Here's your ticket. 436 00:30:59,373 --> 00:31:02,663 Haven't you loaded your bags? I'll give you a hand. 437 00:31:02,664 --> 00:31:07,664 Put the big one below. 438 00:31:09,414 --> 00:31:11,913 Sorry, this bus is to Athens. 439 00:31:11,914 --> 00:31:13,247 Yes, yes I know, yes. 440 00:31:13,248 --> 00:31:18,248 Your ticket is for Amsterdam. 441 00:31:18,956 --> 00:31:20,705 For Amsterdam. 442 00:31:20,706 --> 00:31:23,538 Wrong bus, then! 443 00:31:23,539 --> 00:31:25,497 Funny! Give me the right ticket. 444 00:31:25,498 --> 00:31:30,498 That's it. 445 00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:32,955 Sorry miss, I have to go... 446 00:31:32,956 --> 00:31:34,913 Please, please, wait for me two minutes, 447 00:31:34,914 --> 00:31:37,122 please I have to... to exchange my ticket. Just two minutes. 448 00:31:37,123 --> 00:31:39,288 You'll pay for this! 449 00:31:39,289 --> 00:31:39,830 I come back 450 00:31:39,831 --> 00:31:40,622 Two minutes 451 00:31:40,623 --> 00:31:45,623 Thank you. 452 00:31:45,789 --> 00:31:47,163 Please, go go go go now. 453 00:31:47,164 --> 00:31:48,705 Go She's crazy, I don't know her! 454 00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:53,706 Go, go! 455 00:32:01,789 --> 00:32:04,497 - I'll kill you! - The next one's in 5 days. 456 00:32:04,498 --> 00:32:05,538 Bastard! 457 00:32:05,539 --> 00:32:09,330 No, I'm not. I'm giving you your things back. 458 00:32:09,331 --> 00:32:13,413 Your lipstick, to look nice in Amsterdam. 459 00:32:13,414 --> 00:32:15,830 Your mobile. 460 00:32:15,831 --> 00:32:18,247 My cards and passport! 461 00:32:18,248 --> 00:32:22,705 Bastard! 462 00:32:22,706 --> 00:32:26,663 I'll kiss C�cile for you. 463 00:32:26,664 --> 00:32:31,664 Bastard! 464 00:32:32,831 --> 00:32:37,831 Bastard! 465 00:33:06,373 --> 00:33:09,955 This bit... 466 00:33:09,956 --> 00:33:12,497 goes here... 467 00:33:12,498 --> 00:33:17,498 and this bit, here... 468 00:33:18,373 --> 00:33:23,373 Come on... 469 00:33:36,039 --> 00:33:39,872 Yes, C�cile... 470 00:33:39,873 --> 00:33:42,330 No! 471 00:33:42,331 --> 00:33:47,331 No, don't cut out. Don't cut out on me. 472 00:33:48,414 --> 00:33:53,414 Don't cut out on me! 473 00:34:00,498 --> 00:34:04,205 Where are you going? 474 00:34:04,206 --> 00:34:05,205 Greece. 475 00:34:05,206 --> 00:34:06,413 Are you Fran�aise? 476 00:34:06,414 --> 00:34:07,038 Yes! 477 00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:12,039 Well, hop in. 478 00:34:13,748 --> 00:34:15,497 - Val�rie. - Ezekiel. 479 00:34:15,498 --> 00:34:16,872 Thank you so much. 480 00:34:16,873 --> 00:34:19,413 Thank you, who? 481 00:34:19,414 --> 00:34:21,122 Thank you...Ezekiel? 482 00:34:21,123 --> 00:34:25,788 Thank you, Jesus, Christ the Lord! 483 00:34:25,789 --> 00:34:30,413 Welcome, my daughter. Here you are at peace. 484 00:34:30,414 --> 00:34:35,414 JESUS SAVES 485 00:35:17,248 --> 00:35:20,413 The bastard dumped me in the Austrian countryside. 486 00:35:20,414 --> 00:35:23,247 My child, no bad language in the house of God. 487 00:35:23,248 --> 00:35:24,580 We know only love. 488 00:35:24,581 --> 00:35:28,455 This volcano will show C�cile what her father's really like. 489 00:35:28,456 --> 00:35:30,997 Yes. 490 00:35:30,998 --> 00:35:35,288 "Lord God Almighty, true and righteous are thy judgements. 491 00:35:35,289 --> 00:35:37,038 "The fourth angel poured out his vial 492 00:35:37,039 --> 00:35:39,622 "and power was given to him to scorch men. 493 00:35:39,623 --> 00:35:41,872 "Men were scorched with great heat, 494 00:35:41,873 --> 00:35:45,122 "and blasphemed the name of God. 495 00:35:45,123 --> 00:35:48,747 "And they repented not to give him glory." 496 00:35:48,748 --> 00:35:51,163 Saint John's Apocalypse. 497 00:35:51,164 --> 00:35:54,955 This volcano heralds the end of the world. 498 00:35:54,956 --> 00:35:57,497 I hadn't looked at it that way. 499 00:35:57,498 --> 00:36:00,955 Watching the TV coverage of those satanic flames, 500 00:36:00,956 --> 00:36:03,622 I understood it was a sign. 501 00:36:03,623 --> 00:36:06,455 - So I got my Ark on the road. - Ark? 502 00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:10,622 It took me 5 years to make it. 503 00:36:10,623 --> 00:36:13,622 - You're a mechanic. - Not originally. 504 00:36:13,623 --> 00:36:17,830 I got my qualifications in prison. 505 00:36:17,831 --> 00:36:19,830 Were you inside for long? 506 00:36:19,831 --> 00:36:23,580 - Two years? - Twenty. 507 00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:27,538 Then, one night, he came to me. With his 12 apostles. 508 00:36:27,539 --> 00:36:30,247 It was a bit crowded in my cell, 509 00:36:30,248 --> 00:36:32,372 but he cleansed my soul 510 00:36:32,373 --> 00:36:33,872 of those awful images 511 00:36:33,873 --> 00:36:37,038 of bloodied women begging me to finish them off. 512 00:36:37,039 --> 00:36:38,997 And he gave me a mission: 513 00:36:38,998 --> 00:36:40,497 to build an Ark 514 00:36:40,498 --> 00:36:45,498 and drive the stray sheep to Jerusalem. 515 00:36:45,581 --> 00:36:48,122 Maybe I'll get out here. 516 00:36:48,123 --> 00:36:50,372 Central locking. 517 00:36:50,373 --> 00:36:52,080 Evil cannot enter. 518 00:36:52,081 --> 00:36:54,913 And if it does... 519 00:36:54,914 --> 00:36:59,913 I'm ready! 520 00:36:59,914 --> 00:37:03,830 Hey my friend... 521 00:37:03,831 --> 00:37:08,831 my friend, come on, come on, 522 00:37:11,456 --> 00:37:12,622 H� drink, drink drink drink drink... 523 00:37:12,623 --> 00:37:17,623 No, no, no, no, no 524 00:37:19,623 --> 00:37:24,623 Oh sorry... It's an accident. Sorry, sorry... 525 00:37:25,456 --> 00:37:29,122 I'm sorry, 526 00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:31,830 I'm sorry... 527 00:37:31,831 --> 00:37:33,955 Back, moove, back! 528 00:37:33,956 --> 00:37:35,205 Open the door. 529 00:37:35,206 --> 00:37:36,247 Are you crazy? 530 00:37:36,248 --> 00:37:41,248 Open or I'll fucking shoot! 531 00:38:27,373 --> 00:38:30,122 C�cile 532 00:38:30,123 --> 00:38:35,123 My daughter... 533 00:38:42,789 --> 00:38:46,330 Where are you going? 534 00:38:46,331 --> 00:38:49,622 I don't know how to thank you, Ezekiel. 535 00:38:49,623 --> 00:38:50,497 Alain, 536 00:38:50,498 --> 00:38:55,498 "I am the good shepherd. I lay down my life for my sheep." 537 00:38:55,706 --> 00:38:57,997 What's all this? 538 00:38:57,998 --> 00:38:59,080 Go ahead. 539 00:38:59,081 --> 00:39:01,247 Here? 540 00:39:01,248 --> 00:39:02,788 Holy water. 541 00:39:02,789 --> 00:39:04,955 The other. 542 00:39:04,956 --> 00:39:05,997 The host. 543 00:39:05,998 --> 00:39:08,247 Well, Pringles. 544 00:39:08,248 --> 00:39:10,247 And finally, 545 00:39:10,248 --> 00:39:11,205 the confessional. 546 00:39:11,206 --> 00:39:13,413 Amazing! 547 00:39:13,414 --> 00:39:17,580 If you have a weakness for sodomy, you can confess now. 548 00:39:17,581 --> 00:39:19,038 No, not at all. 549 00:39:19,039 --> 00:39:21,163 - Not even a little? - No. 550 00:39:21,164 --> 00:39:22,413 Not ever? 551 00:39:22,414 --> 00:39:24,163 No. 552 00:39:24,164 --> 00:39:27,955 I'm joking, Alain! 553 00:39:27,956 --> 00:39:29,413 It's my mobile abbey. 554 00:39:29,414 --> 00:39:31,997 An abbey with ABS! 555 00:39:31,998 --> 00:39:35,788 Not bad. 556 00:39:35,789 --> 00:39:36,705 What's that? 557 00:39:36,706 --> 00:39:38,663 It's for my daughter's wedding. 558 00:39:38,664 --> 00:39:41,205 Her mother's wedding dress. 559 00:39:41,206 --> 00:39:42,788 And where's her mother? 560 00:39:42,789 --> 00:39:46,080 I got rid of her. 561 00:39:46,081 --> 00:39:47,913 Meaning? 562 00:39:47,914 --> 00:39:49,538 Chopped her up? 563 00:39:49,539 --> 00:39:51,372 In little pieces? 564 00:39:51,373 --> 00:39:53,830 And the head? Did you sink it? 565 00:39:53,831 --> 00:39:56,663 Yes, you sank it! 566 00:39:56,664 --> 00:40:01,664 No, I was being figurative. 567 00:40:14,664 --> 00:40:17,205 Mr Ezekiel. 568 00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:19,872 Do you mind if I lie down a bit? 569 00:40:19,873 --> 00:40:23,038 No, of course not. Go in the nave. 570 00:40:23,039 --> 00:40:28,039 Thanks. 571 00:40:55,289 --> 00:40:58,372 Alone I was and lost 572 00:40:58,373 --> 00:41:01,663 No direction had I, nor worth 573 00:41:01,664 --> 00:41:06,664 'Twas a life in tatters, but then he came 574 00:41:07,539 --> 00:41:08,747 Jesus! 575 00:41:08,748 --> 00:41:09,330 You! 576 00:41:09,331 --> 00:41:14,331 Jesus, Jesus... 577 00:41:24,039 --> 00:41:29,039 Alone I was and dying... 578 00:41:31,873 --> 00:41:36,873 Let me go! 579 00:41:55,164 --> 00:42:00,164 I'll kill you! 580 00:42:03,831 --> 00:42:04,705 Who? 581 00:42:04,706 --> 00:42:09,706 Joseph! 582 00:42:20,456 --> 00:42:25,456 Don't move. 583 00:42:26,206 --> 00:42:27,080 What are you doing? 584 00:42:27,081 --> 00:42:32,081 You'll shut up when I've cut your head off. 585 00:42:33,998 --> 00:42:38,998 Jesus? 586 00:42:44,498 --> 00:42:45,788 I knew it! 587 00:42:45,789 --> 00:42:49,163 Satan, Beelzebub, here! 588 00:42:49,164 --> 00:42:50,080 Calm down. 589 00:42:50,081 --> 00:42:51,497 Don't you move! 590 00:42:51,498 --> 00:42:54,830 Everything's OK. Just a little lovers' tiff. 591 00:42:54,831 --> 00:42:57,788 Lovers? You two love each other? 592 00:42:57,789 --> 00:42:59,747 - Tell her you love her. - No. 593 00:42:59,748 --> 00:43:03,205 Tell her! 594 00:43:03,206 --> 00:43:04,788 Val�rie, I love you. 595 00:43:04,789 --> 00:43:05,913 That's nice. 596 00:43:05,914 --> 00:43:07,372 Better than that! 597 00:43:07,373 --> 00:43:12,247 Lovingly! 598 00:43:12,248 --> 00:43:13,413 Val�rie... 599 00:43:13,414 --> 00:43:15,038 Val�rie, I love you. 600 00:43:15,039 --> 00:43:17,913 I've always loved you. 601 00:43:17,914 --> 00:43:20,288 I've never loved anyone but you. 602 00:43:20,289 --> 00:43:21,205 I love you. 603 00:43:21,206 --> 00:43:24,413 Beautiful. 604 00:43:24,414 --> 00:43:29,414 Now, Mummy, tell Daddy you love him. 605 00:43:30,373 --> 00:43:33,622 You abandoned us and hurt us. 606 00:43:33,623 --> 00:43:36,455 Do it now! 607 00:43:36,456 --> 00:43:39,580 Don't talk to your mother like that. 608 00:43:39,581 --> 00:43:42,747 Do you hear me? Put that toy down right now. 609 00:43:42,748 --> 00:43:44,413 Do it! 610 00:43:44,414 --> 00:43:47,622 And tidy your room. It's a pigsty. 611 00:43:47,623 --> 00:43:48,497 Yes, Mummy. 612 00:43:48,498 --> 00:43:51,497 Hurry, for God's sake. 613 00:43:51,498 --> 00:43:52,663 Blasphemy! 614 00:43:52,664 --> 00:43:57,664 God, no! 615 00:44:04,831 --> 00:44:09,831 Come on! 616 00:44:12,456 --> 00:44:13,663 Come on! 617 00:44:13,664 --> 00:44:18,664 - Come on! - Wait! 618 00:44:24,414 --> 00:44:29,414 Wait! 619 00:44:48,581 --> 00:44:49,747 I'll fix you up. 620 00:44:49,748 --> 00:44:54,748 I've found a hotel. 621 00:44:57,123 --> 00:45:02,123 Stand up straight. 622 00:45:04,456 --> 00:45:08,080 Hello! 623 00:45:08,081 --> 00:45:13,081 Hello... 624 00:45:13,706 --> 00:45:14,913 Is he OK? 625 00:45:14,914 --> 00:45:18,830 Oh Yes, yes. He he drunk a lot at the wedding. 626 00:45:18,831 --> 00:45:20,038 Just married? 627 00:45:20,039 --> 00:45:24,247 Yes, yes, Look I just have my...my dress on me. 628 00:45:24,248 --> 00:45:28,580 Please, is it possible to have a room. Honeymoon. 629 00:45:28,581 --> 00:45:29,705 Really? 630 00:45:29,706 --> 00:45:30,913 Yes. 631 00:45:30,914 --> 00:45:35,372 I will need a credit card. 632 00:45:35,373 --> 00:45:37,413 Credit card. 633 00:45:37,414 --> 00:45:38,288 My credit cards. 634 00:45:38,289 --> 00:45:43,289 I don't have them. I left everything on the bus. 635 00:45:43,456 --> 00:45:47,205 I'm sorry... we... we don't have credit card. 636 00:45:47,206 --> 00:45:48,497 No card, no room. 637 00:45:48,498 --> 00:45:51,830 Oh Please, Oh please, I will call my bank tomorrow. 638 00:45:51,831 --> 00:45:56,831 Wait... 639 00:45:59,081 --> 00:46:00,247 And the watch. 640 00:46:00,248 --> 00:46:02,288 What? You're not serious. 641 00:46:02,289 --> 00:46:05,247 I could buy a dozen shitty hotels with this! 642 00:46:05,248 --> 00:46:07,997 - What is it? - He wants my watch. 643 00:46:07,998 --> 00:46:09,038 Give it to him. 644 00:46:09,039 --> 00:46:14,039 No watch, no room. 645 00:46:15,456 --> 00:46:17,205 Take this. This is pure gold. 646 00:46:17,206 --> 00:46:19,830 No, no, my chain... 647 00:46:19,831 --> 00:46:24,831 The key of the room. 648 00:46:25,456 --> 00:46:30,456 Five-Zero-Six. 649 00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:36,372 Fifth floor. 650 00:46:36,373 --> 00:46:41,373 One last effort, we're almost there. 651 00:46:43,081 --> 00:46:48,081 The elevator is broken! 652 00:46:52,623 --> 00:46:53,955 I'm done for. 653 00:46:53,956 --> 00:46:58,956 Oh, what a wuss! It's only a little dart. 654 00:46:59,289 --> 00:47:01,413 I should have let him shoot you. 655 00:47:01,414 --> 00:47:05,663 You want my thanks? Thank you, Alain, you're a hero! 656 00:47:05,664 --> 00:47:08,413 You're being mean. 657 00:47:08,414 --> 00:47:09,955 These stairs never end. 658 00:47:09,956 --> 00:47:12,538 We're in the corridor. 659 00:47:12,539 --> 00:47:14,038 Shit! 660 00:47:14,039 --> 00:47:15,788 We're nearly there. 661 00:47:15,789 --> 00:47:20,372 Wait... 662 00:47:20,373 --> 00:47:24,580 I'm slipping away. 663 00:47:24,581 --> 00:47:26,288 It's the end. 664 00:47:26,289 --> 00:47:28,205 The pain's too much. 665 00:47:28,206 --> 00:47:32,705 You're a vet, put me down. 666 00:47:32,706 --> 00:47:35,163 Just leave me. 667 00:47:35,164 --> 00:47:37,163 OK, then. Bye. 668 00:47:37,164 --> 00:47:38,788 No. 669 00:47:38,789 --> 00:47:43,789 Val...What are you doing? 670 00:47:45,956 --> 00:47:49,622 Mummy's diary, episode... 671 00:47:49,623 --> 00:47:52,038 Who gives a toss! 672 00:47:52,039 --> 00:47:55,580 We're getting closer. Slowly. 673 00:47:55,581 --> 00:47:58,372 Right now we're... 674 00:47:58,373 --> 00:48:00,913 somewhere in Slovenia. 675 00:48:00,914 --> 00:48:05,914 I hope we make it. One step at a time. 676 00:48:10,331 --> 00:48:15,331 This is becoming a habit. 677 00:48:29,539 --> 00:48:32,080 Wait, wait! 678 00:48:32,081 --> 00:48:34,705 Are you sure about this? 679 00:48:34,706 --> 00:48:35,913 No, I'm not. 680 00:48:35,914 --> 00:48:37,663 You're a pain. 681 00:48:37,664 --> 00:48:40,663 It's not very deep. 682 00:48:40,664 --> 00:48:42,247 This'll hurt, right? 683 00:48:42,248 --> 00:48:45,580 "This'll hurt..." What a cry-baby! 684 00:48:45,581 --> 00:48:49,163 Move. 685 00:48:49,164 --> 00:48:54,164 - Cry-baby? - What are you doing? 686 00:49:30,664 --> 00:49:32,205 Sorry. 687 00:49:32,206 --> 00:49:37,206 Sorry, I...l don't know what... 688 00:50:44,164 --> 00:50:49,164 Call quick Flights have started again 689 00:50:49,998 --> 00:50:53,247 Martine, it's me. Yes, fine. 690 00:50:53,248 --> 00:50:56,997 In my desk, in the second drawer, 691 00:50:56,998 --> 00:50:59,497 there's the clinic's credit card. 692 00:50:59,498 --> 00:51:01,372 Yes. 693 00:51:01,373 --> 00:51:04,413 Book a flight from Ljubljana to Athens. 694 00:51:04,414 --> 00:51:05,913 Immediately. 695 00:51:05,914 --> 00:51:08,497 Yes, one person. 696 00:51:08,498 --> 00:51:10,872 Yes, Martine. Thank you. 697 00:51:10,873 --> 00:51:15,873 Goodbye. 698 00:51:31,081 --> 00:51:34,038 Where... where...where is the young man with the long hair? 699 00:51:34,039 --> 00:51:36,497 Ye.. ye...yes but he is not here now. He is sleeping. 700 00:51:36,498 --> 00:51:39,288 Bugger "sleeping"! He's got my chain. 701 00:51:39,289 --> 00:51:40,538 My chain. 702 00:51:40,539 --> 00:51:42,080 But I don't know. 703 00:51:42,081 --> 00:51:47,081 Wait... wait a second... 704 00:51:49,831 --> 00:51:50,955 It's working? 705 00:51:50,956 --> 00:51:55,956 Oh thank you. 706 00:51:57,914 --> 00:52:00,080 The planes are flying again. 707 00:52:00,081 --> 00:52:03,038 Oh, you've seen. 708 00:52:03,039 --> 00:52:04,872 Val�rie? 709 00:52:04,873 --> 00:52:05,705 Shit! 710 00:52:05,706 --> 00:52:08,372 I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill her... 711 00:52:08,373 --> 00:52:10,705 What are you doing? 712 00:52:10,706 --> 00:52:14,538 I thought you'd gone. They're flying again. 713 00:52:14,539 --> 00:52:16,622 My mobile. Why did you...? 714 00:52:16,623 --> 00:52:17,788 - What? - Come on. 715 00:52:17,789 --> 00:52:20,163 Where? 716 00:52:20,164 --> 00:52:21,580 You called France? 717 00:52:21,581 --> 00:52:23,872 Quiet! 718 00:52:23,873 --> 00:52:26,497 That costs extra! 719 00:52:26,498 --> 00:52:28,080 What are you doing? 720 00:52:28,081 --> 00:52:30,788 - Now! - Now what? 721 00:52:30,789 --> 00:52:31,455 Hurry! 722 00:52:31,456 --> 00:52:33,580 Hurry what? 723 00:52:33,581 --> 00:52:38,581 What are you doing? Val�rie? 724 00:52:47,206 --> 00:52:50,622 Do you realise what we're doing? Do you? 725 00:52:50,623 --> 00:52:52,788 I'm the one who stole it. 726 00:52:52,789 --> 00:52:55,580 If we're arrested, just say I took you hostage. 727 00:52:55,581 --> 00:52:58,955 You can say I shot you too. No risk to you, as usual. 728 00:52:58,956 --> 00:53:00,372 Where are we going? 729 00:53:00,373 --> 00:53:01,955 The airport. 730 00:53:01,956 --> 00:53:05,247 Your plane for Athens is in 45 minutes. 731 00:53:05,248 --> 00:53:06,747 What about you? Aren't you coming? 732 00:53:06,748 --> 00:53:11,748 Of course I am. Give me my passport, the one you left on the bus! 733 00:53:28,956 --> 00:53:30,122 I'll let you know. 734 00:53:30,123 --> 00:53:32,663 Don't bother. Here. 735 00:53:32,664 --> 00:53:34,997 Give it to C�cile for me. 736 00:53:34,998 --> 00:53:39,998 - What about you? - I'll manage. 737 00:53:45,081 --> 00:53:46,205 About last night... 738 00:53:46,206 --> 00:53:51,206 Hurry or you'll miss your plane. 739 00:54:09,331 --> 00:54:12,038 Sorry! I... I'm French. Fran�aise. 740 00:54:12,039 --> 00:54:14,830 You work here? 741 00:54:14,831 --> 00:54:19,831 Ah oui... No, no, no no I'm travelling. 742 00:54:21,331 --> 00:54:22,497 Who was that car? 743 00:54:22,498 --> 00:54:25,163 Ah the car... yes. 744 00:54:25,164 --> 00:54:30,164 Miss, is this your car? 745 00:54:39,623 --> 00:54:42,538 Miss, you have the papers or not? 746 00:54:42,539 --> 00:54:46,913 Yes, yes relax. 747 00:54:46,914 --> 00:54:49,247 Listen to me my friend. 748 00:54:49,248 --> 00:54:51,372 It's funny but it's...it's not my car, 749 00:54:51,373 --> 00:54:53,497 but we can discuss? 750 00:54:53,498 --> 00:54:57,163 Look at this watch, this is a very very expensive watch 751 00:54:57,164 --> 00:55:02,164 if...if you want you can take it and I go? 752 00:55:09,164 --> 00:55:13,122 Next please... Sir... 753 00:55:13,123 --> 00:55:14,747 I'm French! 754 00:55:14,748 --> 00:55:16,705 Do you understand? 755 00:55:16,706 --> 00:55:21,706 Shut your mouth! Come on get inside 756 00:55:23,331 --> 00:55:26,955 - What...? - I'm saving your life! 757 00:55:26,956 --> 00:55:28,455 By stealing a police car? 758 00:55:28,456 --> 00:55:33,456 Well, you said I never take any risks! 759 00:55:34,373 --> 00:55:38,872 Shit! 760 00:55:38,873 --> 00:55:40,413 What do we do? 761 00:55:40,414 --> 00:55:42,247 Don't you have a plan? 762 00:55:42,248 --> 00:55:44,788 - This was my plan. - What a moron! 763 00:55:44,789 --> 00:55:49,789 Could you just once say thanks? 764 00:55:50,081 --> 00:55:52,163 Thanks for stealing a police car 765 00:55:52,164 --> 00:55:57,164 to go 50 metres in! 766 00:56:18,914 --> 00:56:22,955 Now where? 767 00:56:22,956 --> 00:56:27,956 There! 768 00:56:34,039 --> 00:56:36,038 - Come on! - In your dreams! 769 00:56:36,039 --> 00:56:37,538 I can do this. 770 00:56:37,539 --> 00:56:39,580 No way! 771 00:56:39,581 --> 00:56:43,788 It's an MS Rallye 893A. I've done 120 hours in this. 772 00:56:43,789 --> 00:56:46,705 OK, you can take risks, I believe you! 773 00:56:46,706 --> 00:56:48,913 I've flown over the Grand Canyon, 774 00:56:48,914 --> 00:56:51,330 over the snow-covered tundra... 775 00:56:51,331 --> 00:56:52,455 Alain! 776 00:56:52,456 --> 00:56:54,955 I've landed on the Great Wall of China! 777 00:56:54,956 --> 00:56:58,163 On your computer in your hovel in your crappy suburb! 778 00:56:58,164 --> 00:57:03,164 Master switch, alternator... 779 00:57:06,373 --> 00:57:11,373 Go on! 780 00:57:22,581 --> 00:57:27,581 They're shooting! 781 00:57:27,998 --> 00:57:32,998 Where's the runway? 782 00:57:36,623 --> 00:57:38,830 Shit! 783 00:57:38,831 --> 00:57:40,705 - It's OK. - Take off! 784 00:57:40,706 --> 00:57:45,706 - Another 300 metres. - We'll never make it! 785 00:57:51,039 --> 00:57:56,039 Faster, faster! 786 00:58:00,914 --> 00:58:02,997 It's not like on my computer! 787 00:58:02,998 --> 00:58:07,998 Take off now and get us away from this shit-hole! 788 00:58:11,123 --> 00:58:16,123 Oh, shit! 789 00:58:39,873 --> 00:58:42,997 - Which way is Greece? - How would I know? 790 00:58:42,998 --> 00:58:45,663 Right or left? 791 00:58:45,664 --> 00:58:46,788 Left. 792 00:58:46,789 --> 00:58:51,789 Right, then. 793 00:59:14,081 --> 00:59:16,663 Pilot, do you know where we are? 794 00:59:16,664 --> 00:59:19,413 "Captain", not "pilot". 795 00:59:19,414 --> 00:59:23,663 Geographically speaking, we're above Croatia, 796 00:59:23,664 --> 00:59:26,413 at an altitude of 12,000 feet. 797 00:59:26,414 --> 00:59:31,080 At this cruising speed we should reach the Greek coast in 3 hours. 798 00:59:31,081 --> 00:59:36,081 We'll fly over Serbia, then Montenegro, then Albania... 799 00:59:36,123 --> 00:59:41,123 You're so boring. 800 00:59:41,748 --> 00:59:43,288 What are you doing? 801 00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:48,080 Three hours to go. I'm getting some sleep. 802 00:59:48,081 --> 00:59:49,788 What? 803 00:59:49,789 --> 00:59:54,789 Sleep. It means you trust me. 804 01:00:35,123 --> 01:00:40,123 Oh, no! 805 01:00:40,664 --> 01:00:45,664 I don't believe it! 806 01:00:51,164 --> 01:00:56,164 You damn thing! 807 01:00:56,331 --> 01:00:58,663 Are we there? 808 01:00:58,664 --> 01:01:01,372 No. 809 01:01:01,373 --> 01:01:03,080 Is there a problem? 810 01:01:03,081 --> 01:01:06,455 Can't you hear? We're out of fuel. 811 01:01:06,456 --> 01:01:10,330 And you've just realised? 812 01:01:10,331 --> 01:01:11,413 What do we do now? 813 01:01:11,414 --> 01:01:15,747 On my computer I crash and take off again. 814 01:01:15,748 --> 01:01:17,413 Land this plane now! 815 01:01:17,414 --> 01:01:22,414 Where? Look! 816 01:01:22,873 --> 01:01:26,622 Come on! 817 01:01:26,623 --> 01:01:28,663 What are you doing? 818 01:01:28,664 --> 01:01:31,205 I want to talk to C�cile one last time. 819 01:01:31,206 --> 01:01:35,705 I'll get us down. 820 01:01:35,706 --> 01:01:37,372 Sweetheart... 821 01:01:37,373 --> 01:01:39,080 Mum, are you OK? 822 01:01:39,081 --> 01:01:42,955 Yes, I'm with your father. 823 01:01:42,956 --> 01:01:45,205 - Hi, baby. - Have you arrived? 824 01:01:45,206 --> 01:01:47,497 Not exactly. 825 01:01:47,498 --> 01:01:49,705 We just wanted to say we love you. 826 01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:52,163 Yes, we love you very much. 827 01:01:52,164 --> 01:01:54,705 And we're happy you're getting married. 828 01:01:54,706 --> 01:01:57,455 But we won't be able to make it. 829 01:01:57,456 --> 01:01:59,663 OK, no worries. 830 01:01:59,664 --> 01:02:03,747 I thought just this once we'd be together. But no! 831 01:02:03,748 --> 01:02:08,748 You can keep your "love". Bye! 832 01:03:08,498 --> 01:03:11,372 See! 833 01:03:11,373 --> 01:03:13,913 - What? - I told you I could do it. 834 01:03:13,914 --> 01:03:16,413 Oh, yeah, right! 835 01:03:16,414 --> 01:03:21,414 Yeah! 836 01:03:21,581 --> 01:03:25,497 What C�cile said just didn't sound like her. 837 01:03:25,498 --> 01:03:26,497 It was her, though. 838 01:03:26,498 --> 01:03:29,455 What do you know? You know nothing about her. 839 01:03:29,456 --> 01:03:31,622 Don't start. 840 01:03:31,623 --> 01:03:33,538 What does she have for brekky? 841 01:03:33,539 --> 01:03:35,955 - What? - Hot chocolate, three spoons. 842 01:03:35,956 --> 01:03:38,747 Two, no taste. Four, too sweet. 843 01:03:38,748 --> 01:03:40,788 Her French teacher at school? 844 01:03:40,789 --> 01:03:42,247 Oh, stop it! 845 01:03:42,248 --> 01:03:45,705 Mrs Potter. She couldn't stand her. 846 01:03:45,706 --> 01:03:47,705 Her Facebook password? 847 01:03:47,706 --> 01:03:49,663 You know that? 848 01:03:49,664 --> 01:03:52,538 You know her Facebook password? 849 01:03:52,539 --> 01:03:55,080 C�soul89. But she's changed it since. 850 01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:57,038 Her favourite character in Friends? 851 01:03:57,039 --> 01:03:57,788 Chandler 852 01:03:57,789 --> 01:04:00,497 No, Phoebe! 853 01:04:00,498 --> 01:04:02,705 The first boy to make her cry? 854 01:04:02,706 --> 01:04:04,372 Hang on, hang on... 855 01:04:04,373 --> 01:04:06,247 The first boy to make her cry? 856 01:04:06,248 --> 01:04:08,330 Wait! 857 01:04:08,331 --> 01:04:10,622 Gr�goire Billot. 858 01:04:10,623 --> 01:04:11,955 - You didn't know. - I did. 859 01:04:11,956 --> 01:04:13,497 No, you didn't. 860 01:04:13,498 --> 01:04:15,038 I did! 861 01:04:15,039 --> 01:04:18,247 You didn't! 862 01:04:18,248 --> 01:04:21,288 OK, I get it. I was a bad mother. 863 01:04:21,289 --> 01:04:23,455 No, just absent. Which is worse. 864 01:04:23,456 --> 01:04:27,747 And I regret it every day. But I don't lie to myself. 865 01:04:27,748 --> 01:04:31,747 Sometimes a daughter doesn't need her dad, 866 01:04:31,748 --> 01:04:35,955 she doesn't want to discuss Gr�goire Thingy dumping her, 867 01:04:35,956 --> 01:04:38,538 she wants to cry alone in her room, 868 01:04:38,539 --> 01:04:42,830 she doesn't want your advice, your support, your lectures... 869 01:04:42,831 --> 01:04:45,622 You suffocated her. You suffocate everyone. 870 01:04:45,623 --> 01:04:50,623 That's why we leave you. 871 01:04:51,706 --> 01:04:52,788 OK? 872 01:04:52,789 --> 01:04:57,789 You get it now? 873 01:05:34,289 --> 01:05:39,289 Beautiful, though, isn't it? 874 01:05:40,789 --> 01:05:45,789 We're in the middle of nowhere, we'll never make it. 875 01:05:46,581 --> 01:05:51,581 Five minutes rest. 876 01:05:54,914 --> 01:05:57,330 C�cile 877 01:05:57,331 --> 01:06:00,163 My daughter 878 01:06:00,164 --> 01:06:02,747 Here you are 879 01:06:02,748 --> 01:06:06,247 And here am I, I am thirty 880 01:06:06,248 --> 01:06:07,913 And you... 881 01:06:07,914 --> 01:06:10,580 Shit! I am thirty, and you... 882 01:06:10,581 --> 01:06:15,581 "You're six months old"! Shit, it's easy enough! 883 01:06:16,039 --> 01:06:17,955 I'm going. 884 01:06:17,956 --> 01:06:20,580 Wait! OK, I'm sorry. 885 01:06:20,581 --> 01:06:23,247 Just wait a couple of minutes. 886 01:06:23,248 --> 01:06:28,248 Two minutes, then we go. 887 01:06:48,289 --> 01:06:51,163 - Weird Romanian! - We're in Albania. 888 01:06:51,164 --> 01:06:55,038 Same thing. 889 01:06:55,039 --> 01:06:58,538 She's cute, though. 890 01:06:58,539 --> 01:07:01,497 For five euros she'll suck you off in the barn. 891 01:07:01,498 --> 01:07:04,122 We have no barn. 892 01:07:04,123 --> 01:07:07,830 She speaks French. 893 01:07:07,831 --> 01:07:09,122 You speak French? 894 01:07:09,123 --> 01:07:10,788 Yes, a little. 895 01:07:10,789 --> 01:07:15,705 She understood. 896 01:07:15,706 --> 01:07:17,080 You lost? 897 01:07:17,081 --> 01:07:22,081 We're going to Corfu. 898 01:07:28,831 --> 01:07:30,122 Tomorrow, 899 01:07:30,123 --> 01:07:32,413 my daddy get you close. 900 01:07:32,414 --> 01:07:34,663 Thanks, that's fantastic. 901 01:07:34,664 --> 01:07:36,788 Fantastic. Can't we go now? 902 01:07:36,789 --> 01:07:38,955 No, is not possible. 903 01:07:38,956 --> 01:07:43,956 Tonight is festival. 904 01:07:54,706 --> 01:07:56,747 What are you celebrating? 905 01:07:56,748 --> 01:07:58,163 Is spring festival. 906 01:07:58,164 --> 01:08:01,205 The animals, trees, flowers... 907 01:08:01,206 --> 01:08:02,788 Why the eagle? 908 01:08:02,789 --> 01:08:05,247 Eagle is symbol of Albania. 909 01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:07,913 - Like cock for you. - An eagle's classier. 910 01:08:07,914 --> 01:08:10,997 Eagle is very important to us. 911 01:08:10,998 --> 01:08:12,538 He protect us. 912 01:08:12,539 --> 01:08:15,538 Sacred animal. 913 01:08:15,539 --> 01:08:17,788 So you French, 914 01:08:17,789 --> 01:08:20,247 Yes, yes 915 01:08:20,248 --> 01:08:25,248 Ah ah ah... la vie en rose. 916 01:08:26,581 --> 01:08:31,581 I... I Os...l Osman. 917 01:08:31,789 --> 01:08:34,705 What you name? 918 01:08:34,706 --> 01:08:36,872 My name is Screwyou. 919 01:08:36,873 --> 01:08:39,663 Sukroo...? 920 01:08:39,664 --> 01:08:41,538 Screw you. 921 01:08:41,539 --> 01:08:45,122 Tenmerde ? lt's a nice name... nice 922 01:08:45,123 --> 01:08:48,330 Oh very nice, yes. 923 01:08:48,331 --> 01:08:50,080 Am I interrupting? 924 01:08:50,081 --> 01:08:52,372 - Funny! - I can leave you two alone. 925 01:08:52,373 --> 01:08:54,288 Stay! 926 01:08:54,289 --> 01:08:56,705 He's cute. 927 01:08:56,706 --> 01:08:58,372 To C�cile's wedding! 928 01:08:58,373 --> 01:09:00,413 And all our wasted years. 929 01:09:00,414 --> 01:09:05,414 That'll take a lot more drink! 930 01:09:14,331 --> 01:09:16,747 What is that? 931 01:09:16,748 --> 01:09:20,747 You don't want to know. 932 01:09:20,748 --> 01:09:22,372 How did we end up like this? 933 01:09:22,373 --> 01:09:24,122 There was the volcano, 934 01:09:24,123 --> 01:09:25,913 then you trashed the car... 935 01:09:25,914 --> 01:09:28,247 No, seriously. 936 01:09:28,248 --> 01:09:33,248 How did we end up hating each other with such venom? 937 01:09:34,373 --> 01:09:39,373 I don't know. 938 01:09:42,039 --> 01:09:44,705 Other couples just ignore each other. 939 01:09:44,706 --> 01:09:49,706 Maybe we can't just ignore each other. 940 01:09:53,789 --> 01:09:58,789 This is our first holiday together. 941 01:09:58,873 --> 01:10:03,873 To our honeymoon, then! 942 01:10:06,956 --> 01:10:10,872 I'd forgotten how you squeak like a strangled owl 943 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:15,873 when making love. 944 01:10:16,831 --> 01:10:21,831 So had I. 945 01:10:38,289 --> 01:10:39,288 Tradition. 946 01:10:39,289 --> 01:10:40,830 No, I'd rather not. 947 01:10:40,831 --> 01:10:45,831 No, thanks. 948 01:11:11,956 --> 01:11:16,956 Oh, shit! 949 01:11:17,164 --> 01:11:19,997 Val�rie, do something. 950 01:11:19,998 --> 01:11:24,998 It's dead. 951 01:11:47,498 --> 01:11:52,498 Thanks. Sorry about the... 952 01:12:31,998 --> 01:12:36,247 And here we are, in Greece! 953 01:12:36,248 --> 01:12:38,830 Right on time for your wedding. 954 01:12:38,831 --> 01:12:43,831 Isn't that wonderful? 955 01:12:53,414 --> 01:12:58,414 Are we...Are we arrived? 956 01:13:05,664 --> 01:13:10,664 Why won't he talk to me? 957 01:13:13,706 --> 01:13:15,455 I wanted to tell you... 958 01:13:15,456 --> 01:13:20,456 Sometimes we say things we don't mean. 959 01:13:20,998 --> 01:13:25,247 I know you're a good father. 960 01:13:25,248 --> 01:13:26,497 It hurt at the time, 961 01:13:26,498 --> 01:13:31,498 but C�cile was right to choose to live with you rather than me. 962 01:13:34,956 --> 01:13:38,580 Thanks. 963 01:13:38,581 --> 01:13:40,580 Is that all? 964 01:13:40,581 --> 01:13:42,288 What? 965 01:13:42,289 --> 01:13:44,080 I bare my soul 966 01:13:44,081 --> 01:13:48,247 and all you say is "thanks"? 967 01:13:48,248 --> 01:13:51,288 Thank you very much. 968 01:13:51,289 --> 01:13:54,122 What a moron! 969 01:13:54,123 --> 01:13:57,705 I take it all back. I didn't mean a word of it. 970 01:13:57,706 --> 01:14:02,706 Too late now. 971 01:14:04,373 --> 01:14:09,373 Excuse me. I'm really, really sorry for... for the eagle. 972 01:14:12,373 --> 01:14:17,373 Not funny. 973 01:14:32,664 --> 01:14:34,705 What are you doing with her? 974 01:14:34,706 --> 01:14:36,622 That's not the problem. 975 01:14:36,623 --> 01:14:38,663 You lied to me. 976 01:14:38,664 --> 01:14:41,080 Yes, I lied. 977 01:14:41,081 --> 01:14:43,038 You can give me a bollocking 978 01:14:43,039 --> 01:14:44,497 when I get there. 979 01:14:44,498 --> 01:14:49,498 But for now can you ask them to wait? We're in Corfu. 980 01:14:49,706 --> 01:14:52,705 The cops think we're illegal immigrants. 981 01:14:52,706 --> 01:14:56,163 - But we'll soon sort it out. - What? 982 01:14:56,164 --> 01:14:58,247 I'll do what I can. 983 01:14:58,248 --> 01:15:01,288 How much longer will she ruin our lives? 984 01:15:01,289 --> 01:15:02,955 I love you. 985 01:15:02,956 --> 01:15:07,956 I love you too. 986 01:15:13,623 --> 01:15:14,705 OK? 987 01:15:14,706 --> 01:15:19,706 Yeah, great. 988 01:15:23,581 --> 01:15:26,163 We have checked. You are French. 989 01:15:26,164 --> 01:15:27,788 Can you take these off? 990 01:15:27,789 --> 01:15:32,789 And get a car for us? 991 01:15:34,331 --> 01:15:37,955 This way. 992 01:15:37,956 --> 01:15:40,413 That's you, isn't it? 993 01:15:40,414 --> 01:15:42,538 It looks like us, but... 994 01:15:42,539 --> 01:15:46,455 No, it's not us. 995 01:15:46,456 --> 01:15:50,663 Car crash in Austria... 996 01:15:50,664 --> 01:15:53,705 Theft of a van and a plane... 997 01:15:53,706 --> 01:15:58,706 Evading arrest... 998 01:15:59,206 --> 01:16:04,080 And killing of a protected species in Albania. 999 01:16:04,081 --> 01:16:05,997 All that in three days. 1000 01:16:05,998 --> 01:16:07,788 Congratulations! 1001 01:16:07,789 --> 01:16:12,789 All we want is to go to our daughter's wedding. 1002 01:16:17,748 --> 01:16:22,748 That will be tricky. 1003 01:16:24,498 --> 01:16:26,872 Go on, cry! 1004 01:16:26,873 --> 01:16:31,873 Nice dog. Jack Russell crossed with terrier? 1005 01:16:32,248 --> 01:16:32,913 Thank you. 1006 01:16:32,914 --> 01:16:34,455 But he's been vomiting? 1007 01:16:34,456 --> 01:16:36,163 Sorry? 1008 01:16:36,164 --> 01:16:38,038 This isn't the moment. 1009 01:16:38,039 --> 01:16:41,205 Ask him. 1010 01:16:41,206 --> 01:16:46,206 He won't eat, drink, go walkies? He's losing weight? 1011 01:16:46,664 --> 01:16:47,288 Yes. 1012 01:16:47,289 --> 01:16:50,497 Tell him I'm a vet. His dog has Addison's disease. 1013 01:16:50,498 --> 01:16:53,955 Adrenal insufficiency. 1014 01:16:53,956 --> 01:16:57,205 He could die. 1015 01:16:57,206 --> 01:16:59,330 Can you save him? 1016 01:16:59,331 --> 01:17:04,331 It'll be tricky. 1017 01:18:26,539 --> 01:18:28,038 Thank you. 1018 01:18:28,039 --> 01:18:33,039 Go on. 1019 01:18:48,123 --> 01:18:51,413 - What's wrong? - I'll explain later. 1020 01:18:51,414 --> 01:18:53,330 I'm glad you're still alive. 1021 01:18:53,331 --> 01:18:55,205 No, it was fine. 1022 01:18:55,206 --> 01:18:57,163 Really fine. 1023 01:18:57,164 --> 01:18:59,788 You can't stay in those clothes. 1024 01:18:59,789 --> 01:19:04,789 I'll get changed after. 1025 01:19:41,956 --> 01:19:43,830 A hard time getting here? 1026 01:19:43,831 --> 01:19:47,122 Your mother and I are made of stern stuff. 1027 01:19:47,123 --> 01:19:48,580 What? 1028 01:19:48,581 --> 01:19:51,330 "Your mother and I." I'm not used to it. 1029 01:19:51,331 --> 01:19:53,913 Nor me. 1030 01:19:53,914 --> 01:19:57,122 In fact, I've never told you this but... 1031 01:19:57,123 --> 01:19:59,497 your mother and I 1032 01:19:59,498 --> 01:20:01,705 were very much in love when we had you. 1033 01:20:01,706 --> 01:20:04,538 It was brief but intense. 1034 01:20:04,539 --> 01:20:08,122 So don't be like us. Make the most of life. 1035 01:20:08,123 --> 01:20:13,123 Your Stavros seems like a nice guy. 1036 01:20:14,123 --> 01:20:15,330 What? 1037 01:20:15,331 --> 01:20:18,330 No, nothing. 1038 01:20:18,331 --> 01:20:20,663 I'll be here if you get divorced. 1039 01:20:20,664 --> 01:20:21,413 Dad! 1040 01:20:21,414 --> 01:20:23,413 - What? - It's my wedding! 1041 01:20:23,414 --> 01:20:27,413 Well, yes, you hardly know him. ls there a marriage contract? 1042 01:20:27,414 --> 01:20:28,580 Dad, stop it! 1043 01:20:28,581 --> 01:20:32,663 Yes, sorry, you're right. You make a lovely couple. 1044 01:20:32,664 --> 01:20:34,913 And it'll last a lifetime. 1045 01:20:34,914 --> 01:20:39,914 A lifetime. 1046 01:20:46,123 --> 01:20:51,123 They're so sweet. 1047 01:20:52,581 --> 01:20:56,205 I want to apologise for everything I've done to you. 1048 01:20:56,206 --> 01:20:58,497 The night-time phone calls, 1049 01:20:58,498 --> 01:21:00,997 the insults, 1050 01:21:00,998 --> 01:21:03,997 the court cases... 1051 01:21:03,998 --> 01:21:06,455 The punctured tyres at the driving school. 1052 01:21:06,456 --> 01:21:08,038 Have you finished? 1053 01:21:08,039 --> 01:21:09,080 Yeah. 1054 01:21:09,081 --> 01:21:11,205 Piss off, then. 1055 01:21:11,206 --> 01:21:13,538 That's not very nice. 1056 01:21:13,539 --> 01:21:18,539 Scram. 1057 01:21:21,498 --> 01:21:26,498 Bitch! 1058 01:21:26,748 --> 01:21:28,580 I nearly forgot. 1059 01:21:28,581 --> 01:21:33,581 I slept with your fella again. Sorry. 1060 01:21:37,414 --> 01:21:38,747 You like it? 1061 01:21:38,748 --> 01:21:41,288 You look magnificent. 1062 01:21:41,289 --> 01:21:45,163 It's not the dress, but you look even more beautiful. 1063 01:21:45,164 --> 01:21:50,164 Thanks. 1064 01:21:50,956 --> 01:21:53,288 I'm so happy for you. 1065 01:21:53,289 --> 01:21:54,330 Really? 1066 01:21:54,331 --> 01:21:56,330 Yes, really. 1067 01:21:56,331 --> 01:21:59,872 You don't mind that I'm 20, getting married on an impulse? 1068 01:21:59,873 --> 01:22:01,330 No. 1069 01:22:01,331 --> 01:22:03,122 He is Greek, after all. 1070 01:22:03,123 --> 01:22:05,497 It's OK! 1071 01:22:05,498 --> 01:22:08,663 Before I forget... 1072 01:22:08,664 --> 01:22:10,288 This is your present. 1073 01:22:10,289 --> 01:22:12,663 I started it when you told me the news. 1074 01:22:12,664 --> 01:22:14,288 Watch it at your leisure. 1075 01:22:14,289 --> 01:22:16,913 There's a big fat cheque as well. 1076 01:22:16,914 --> 01:22:19,080 Excuse me. 1077 01:22:19,081 --> 01:22:20,872 Sweetheart, 1078 01:22:20,873 --> 01:22:25,873 this song is for you. 1079 01:22:29,623 --> 01:22:32,372 She wanted a child 1080 01:22:32,373 --> 01:22:35,538 But I wasn't so keen 1081 01:22:35,539 --> 01:22:40,372 Yet she made it so easy 1082 01:22:40,373 --> 01:22:43,205 With her powers of persuasion 1083 01:22:43,206 --> 01:22:45,872 To make me a father 1084 01:22:45,873 --> 01:22:48,872 C�cile 1085 01:22:48,873 --> 01:22:53,080 My daughter 1086 01:22:53,081 --> 01:22:55,413 When her tummy swelled 1087 01:22:55,414 --> 01:22:58,455 She burst out laughing 1088 01:22:58,456 --> 01:23:03,456 And said, "Be happy 1089 01:23:03,498 --> 01:23:07,413 "It'll be a boy..." 1090 01:23:07,414 --> 01:23:12,413 And now here you are, C�cile 1091 01:23:12,414 --> 01:23:17,414 My daughter... 1092 01:23:18,414 --> 01:23:20,122 I'm sorry. 1093 01:23:20,123 --> 01:23:25,123 Sorry. 1094 01:23:25,539 --> 01:23:30,539 Here you are, and here am I 1095 01:23:31,873 --> 01:23:36,873 I am thirty, and you're six months old 1096 01:23:37,206 --> 01:23:42,206 Nose to nose, looking into each other's eyes 1097 01:23:42,456 --> 01:23:47,456 Which of the two of us is the most amazed? 1098 01:23:47,706 --> 01:23:50,163 Long before I had you 1099 01:23:50,164 --> 01:23:53,205 I'd had my share of girls 1100 01:23:53,206 --> 01:23:58,080 Tossing the coin of my heart 1101 01:23:58,081 --> 01:24:00,872 A brunette won here 1102 01:24:00,873 --> 01:24:03,663 A blonde lost there 1103 01:24:03,664 --> 01:24:06,497 C�cile 1104 01:24:06,498 --> 01:24:10,747 My daughter 1105 01:24:10,748 --> 01:24:15,748 May you always be loved as I'm loving you now 1106 01:24:15,956 --> 01:24:20,872 My breath on your lashes 1107 01:24:20,873 --> 01:24:23,747 My kiss on your mouth 1108 01:24:23,748 --> 01:24:26,913 In your innocent sleep 1109 01:24:26,914 --> 01:24:31,122 C�cile 1110 01:24:31,123 --> 01:24:36,123 My daughter. 1111 01:25:06,331 --> 01:25:07,622 Val. 1112 01:25:07,623 --> 01:25:10,413 - Our friends are waiting. - Oh, yes. 1113 01:25:10,414 --> 01:25:11,455 The police? 1114 01:25:11,456 --> 01:25:14,080 Just a couple of things to sort out. 1115 01:25:14,081 --> 01:25:17,205 - We had to hurry... - What the hell is this? 1116 01:25:17,206 --> 01:25:19,955 We may have to stay in Greece for a while. 1117 01:25:19,956 --> 01:25:21,913 - You can't be serious. - I am. 1118 01:25:21,914 --> 01:25:25,872 I'd better go. 1119 01:25:25,873 --> 01:25:28,747 Val�rie! 1120 01:25:28,748 --> 01:25:29,788 See you. 1121 01:25:29,789 --> 01:25:31,580 Val�rie! 1122 01:25:31,581 --> 01:25:33,997 What did you tell Sylvie? 1123 01:25:33,998 --> 01:25:35,288 What do you mean? 1124 01:25:35,289 --> 01:25:38,080 Did you tell her about our night in Slovenia? 1125 01:25:38,081 --> 01:25:38,955 No. 1126 01:25:38,956 --> 01:25:40,830 - Yes, you did. - No way! 1127 01:25:40,831 --> 01:25:41,830 Did you? 1128 01:25:41,831 --> 01:25:43,705 - No, I didn't. - Are you sure? 1129 01:25:43,706 --> 01:25:47,413 - What do you take me for? - For what you are! 1130 01:25:47,414 --> 01:25:51,413 Did you tell her we slept together? 1131 01:25:51,414 --> 01:25:56,414 You did! 1132 01:26:03,789 --> 01:26:08,038 Mummy's diary, episode 27...No, 28. 1133 01:26:08,039 --> 01:26:11,413 15th April, at...11:42. 1134 01:26:11,414 --> 01:26:14,205 Well, I'm on the plane, coming to Greece. 1135 01:26:14,206 --> 01:26:17,830 I remember holding you in my arms, the day you were born, 1136 01:26:17,831 --> 01:26:22,831 and now you're getting married. 1137 01:26:23,331 --> 01:26:28,331 No, I'm not going to cry... 1138 01:26:31,623 --> 01:26:36,623 The owl! The strangled owl! 73821

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