Original subtitles

[Bells jingling, bird cries]

[Clears throat]

The plot is gaining steam

So back to this old theme

Here's what's been happening on "Galavant"

When we saw Izzy last

This guy had been outcast

He vowed revenge and fled to Madalena

He brought to her palais

The dark, dark evil way...

Gareth's against it, but the queen's insaner

Will she use it and go overboard?

Not if the man who wields this sword stands tall

The hero that they call the one true king of all

Which brings us back to Galavant

And our hero plows ahead, his army's kinda dead

And yet, his energy is far from flaggin'

King Richard rides with Gal

Bringing his lizard pal

Which may or may not be a real, live dragon

Plus, he's got the sword

Which you'll recall means

He's the king who'll rule them all

And so!

To war three armies go

One evil, one so-so

One dead and led by Galava-a-a-nt

Will Richard kill his former best friend

Who stole queen and crown and made him look buffoony?

Can Gal still win back the princess again?

True... they're more than likely through.

Unless he can re-do that really awful smooch-a-roony

And Sid is who-knows-where

Him and his awesome hair

Seeking redemption for a little while

And Roberta's said goodbye

Since Richard's sure to die

And now she's on her way to Spinster Island

Gosh, so much to dump upon your doormat

In our half-hour sitcom format

Still, there's plot holes we must fill

And though I doubt we will

We're gonna try on "Galava-a-a-a-a-nt"

[Bell jingles]

[Horse snorts]

[Wind blowing]

[Applause]

Oh, thank you.

[Cheers and applause]

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Here all week... Unless I die. Thank you. Thank you very much.

I got to admit... The boy can sing.

Galavant - S02E09 Battle of the Three Armies

[applause continues]

Okay, cut it.

The recap song's over.

It's time for war!

- Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah! Yeah!

Yes. War indeed.

Shall we retire to the royal viewing area?

It's up the hill a pace, safe from the fighting.

And they've got cookies.

Oh! Yes, please. [Laughs]

Hold on a minute. What... What do you mean, viewing area?

I thought we were gonna fight!

I know, but Mr. Wormwood had that cool skybox made,

and we are king and queen, which means technically we should...

Your eyes are doing that thing again.

- What? Don't be crazy. No, they're not. - I didn't see anything. Did you?

[Horse grunts]

Let's go.

Wow.

There's a lot of them.

Yeah, as a former king who once led armies into battle,

I must officially say

we are knee-deep in poopie-ka-ka.

Thanks, dad. That's helpful.

No problem.

Actually, I think I've come up with a plan

that could turn this whole thing in our favor.

Well, tell me what it is, Jester.

We beat them to the punch.

We kill ourselves before they kill us.

It's sure to ruin their morale.

If only I were alive to see the looks on their faces.

[Army murmuring]

[Clicks tongue]

Good people of Hortensia,

it is true the Valencians have three to our every one.

And you are right to worry

because how can so few of us

dig the graves of so many of them?!

[Army cheering]

She twisted it.

If you want to leave, leave now.

I will not mind,

for it will leave more glory for the rest of us!

[Army cheering]

She twisted it again!

Arise, Hortensia!

Today, we fight!

Pots shall be broken, pans shall be splintered!

Whisks shall be...

Actually, let's not use whisks.

It'll be a sore day, a red day,

but a day for victory!

[Army cheering]

Victory!

Stand strong! Stand strong!

Stand strong and fight!

[Sword clacking]

Oy.

We are completely screwed.

[Heroic music plays]

[Inhales deeply]

Oh, I haven't been in a proper battle in a long time.

I'm gonna ride up just at the perfect moment in front of Isabella and save the day.

Mwah!

Yeah.

This is gonna be super fun.

[Laughs] You're gonna be fine.

[Chuckling] Oh, totally.

I know.

I'm feeling great and confident.

I-I'm just worried about Tad Cooper.

I mean, the little fellow is terrified.

Just look at him.

Richard, you can do this.

Over the last months, I've watched you transform

from a boob into a real man.

And today, you're gonna transform into a warrior.

You said "boob."

Please focus.

Sorry.

All right, my friend.

If ever there was a moment

for you to become the dragon that I know you are,

this is it.

Breathe fire!

Okay, I'll check in with you later.

Oh, why do we need these?

Are we not doing our own stunts?

What? Of course we are.

Just to preserve the dramatic reveal.

Ah. That's a good idea.

You've obviously done this before.

Okay, are we gonna start this war or not?

I say we wait.

In an hour, the sun will be at the perfect angle

to highlight the color of the spilling blood

against the golden sand.

It'll be spectacular for the royal painter.

Brilliant. Then we wait.

Okay. What's going on here?

- Hmm? - This war was my birthday present.

It was supposed to be me and you down there killing people,

not sitting in some luxury box eating humongous raisins.

[Scoffs] Actually, I-it's figs.

I feel something's changed.

Nothing's changed, Gareth.

Well, then, let's go down there, hack up a few folk,

and go on our vacation just like we talked about.

Yeah, um, about that.

Look, Gareth, um...

Let's put off the vacation.

- Just for a bit. - [Sighs]

I mean, we would have just conquered a new kingdom,

and it would be impolite

to leave Mr. Wormwood all by himself

after he was kind enough to bring us this conflict.

Has this got something to do with that dew-dew dark magic stuff?

Actually, it's D'Dew.

Two darks... Dark-dark evil way.

- Back off! - Of course not, Gareth.

I swear.

Hold the crow.

A second army approaches.

Yes, being led by some devilishly handsome hero type.

Let me see that.

Oh, God. It's Galavant!

With a weirdly large beard.

Right, that's it.

I'm gonna go down there and cause havoc

just like we planned.

I hope you're gonna join me.

Right.

[Dramatic music plays]

Okay, you dogs!

To battle!

[Army cheering]

It's a good day to die

To stand and fight until we're dead

A good day to die

Though if somebody ever said, "for what?"

We forgot

So on reflection, perhaps maybe not

Who is that?

Looks like they're advancing on the Valencians.

I can't tell, but they missed my song.

Maybe we ask them to wait so I can run out and sing it again.

Oh, we'll run out there, Jester.

But to fight.

Hortensians, this is our chance!

Yeah, let's do this.

I'm just gonna go and check things are locked up.

Move out!

[Army cheering]

It's a good day to die

Though not as good as other days

A good day to die

But if there's one a little ways away

Well, then, hey

We can reschedule

It's more than okay

Another beautiful day in the country.

Here's some potatoes for you, bae.

These have bugs. Yay! Extra protein.

[Footsteps approaching]

This is a day, just a day like every other

Is everything okay?

[Army shouting]

We've lived as best we could

Looks like we have guests.

And I must say, though we may not get another

[Shouting continues]

If I'm with you

Then our last will at least be good

Well, at least we made it to 25.

It's a good day to die

To spurt our blood and spill our guts

A good day to die

- Good day to die

- Out loud, it sounds completely nuts

But still

- Blood will spill

- [Whistling]

After that, it will all go downhill

She doesn't want to go on vacation!

We were supposed to go zip-lining.

Who doesn't like zip-lining?

Huh?

We will try not to die, but we will

Aah! [Grunts]

To victory!

In the meantime, I guess we can kill

Richard, have you seen Isabella?

- Aah! Aah! - And we'll fight, who knows why

Till we say with a sigh

It's a go-o-o-o-o-od

Day to

Di-i-i-i-i-i-e

Time out! Can we call a time out?!

[Weapons clanking]

[Armies shouting]

Isn't this amazing?

We sit here while they do our dirty work for us.

Isn't it crazy what you can talk people into doing?

Well, I thank God for the class system every day.

Mm-hmm. Me too.

[Sighs]

Oh, no.

This isn't good.

Ohh.

The sword of the one true king.

And he's down there.

And he's a god.

This is madness!

Aah! Aah!

Mm. Isabella wasn't lying.

He's on their side.

It's time... for D'Dew.

Actually, I've been having second thoughts

- about the dark, evil way. - Two darks... dark-dark.

Why is it so hard for people to remember?

It's just I care about Gareth, and I promised I wouldn't use it.

And he seemed super upset about the vacation.

Maybe I'll... I'll go down and help him fight.

Look. May I be blunt?

You want power. I offer it.

You want control. It's yours for the taking.

You want the whole enchilada.

It's magic hour, baby.

May I be even blunter?

Screw Gareth. He's weak.

Losers vacation. Closers use magic.

Shall we finish this thing?

Should have stayed with Roberta.

Why do I always have to be so damn heroic?

You've got a lifetime to be with Roberta!

You've got one day to be immortal.

Today, you can be...

Aah!

Isabella!

I don't want to be Isabella! I want to be me!

Where the hell are you going?!

That's one hell of a sword.

Aah! Yah!

Isabella.

I've come for you.

Galavant?

My love.

Gareth?

Richard?

Look. I know you're upset.

Okay?

I'll give you that one 'cause it's been upsetting.

Izzy, please. Can we just be done with this?

Isabella. Look.

I didn't tell you to die in a brown fart.

The truth is, all I've wanted is to come back to you.

You're the love of my life.

And if we survive this, I want to marry you.

And I want to live by the sea...

You had me at "brown fart."

Still sort of yeasty.

And a little bit musty.

But we've got a lifetime to work on it.

I know I've got a lot to apologize to you for.

Don't be ridiculous.

It's just good to see you again, my old friend.

[Horn blows]

What was that?

[Horn blows]

Whoa!

Whoa, whoa. We're on the same team.

I'm with Galavant,

fighting for true love and all that?

Galavant, the undead army is turning on us!

I know. They're doing it here, too!

- You can control the dead? - Oh, yes.

Not only control, but make them stronger.

Ha!

Seems Galavant has brought the wrong covered dish to the potluck dinner.

Ha!

They're kind of attacking everyone, our men included.

Well, you make a cake, you break a few eggs.

So, how do we do this?

[Fingers snap] Simple.

When you need a lift

When you're feeling low

When you think that things will go your way

Oh, there's a little gift everyone should know

Try it, and it's sure to make your day

It's called D'Dew, D'Dew, D'Dew

Doo D'Doo doo doo

It's the kind of voodoo that we few who do D'Dew do

It is evil? Sure, it's true

Still, good things ensue

When you do D'Dew D'Dew, D'Dew

This is amazing! I want a turn!

Show me! Show me!

Ooh, relax.

- Keep your shoulders straight

- Like this?

- Lift your chin up high

- I'll try.

Think of all the happy thoughts you know

Okay, just don't let go

- Picture those you hate

- Yep.

- Shrieking as they die

- Got it.

Then just snap your fingers

- And hello

- Whoa.

And that's the D'Dew, D'Dew, D'Dew

Doo, D'Doo doo doo

She betrayed me.

Gareth.

- Yah! - [Groans]

You've got to move! Come on!

- Wormwood: well, whoop-Dee-doo

- Fall back, men!

And that's it, D'Dew, D'Dew, D'Dew

Do d'doo doo doo

- Do d'doo doo doo

- Do d'doo doo doo

You can say adieu to those you own an I.O.U. to

Any dude who you'd undo

Bid him toodle-oo

When you do D'Dew, D'Dew, D'Dew

Your highness, that's your cue

You know what to do

Time to use my new D'Dew doo doo

[Army shouting]

Oh, my God. I can do magic!

Big day.

Yah! This way!

[Grunts]

Wait for me!

[Dramatic music plays]

[Indistinct shouting]

Let loose the leafy greens!

Get my pointy potato!

[Zombies shouting]

Oh, hey, guys. Did we win?

Madalena turned the kinda dead army against everyone.

Okay, so we're cool

with all the Valencians and Gareth, then, yeah?

What's up, clown?

Hiya.

[Shouting stops]

They've stopped.

[Knock on door]

Who is it?

Madalena: It's me.

Madalena?

Don't be so dramatic. I just want to talk.

Open the gate.

Stay!

[Gate closes]

Well, what do we have here?

Galavant.

Richard.

You.

Looks like we're all together again.

How lovely.

Our story lines have been far too separated.

Come on, babe. Let's go.

You lied to me.

No, but now I've come for you

so you're not killed like the rest of these losers.

You promised no magic.

I know, but don't you see?

With it, we're unstoppable.

We'll rule the seven realms mercilessly!

But I don't...

I don't care what you want.

- Oh, my goodness. - [Bleep] is cray-cray.

I won't leave my friend.

It's one thing being a horrible human being.

It's another thing to be evil.

And I would rather die than join the dark forces.

Me too.

- And me. - And me.

Right, well, no one invited you lot, but whatever.

[Sighs] Right.

Well, I wasn't going to get all sappy, but, um...

Thanks for the adventure.

Thanks for the power.

Thanks for the crown.

Thanks for the love.

And since we're all such good friends,

I will give you exactly 10 seconds.

I suggest focusing all your attention on sealing

[clicks tongue] That door.

Gareth...

this is your last chance.

[Somber music plays]

No.

Suit yourself.

Out the way!

[Horn blows]

[Zombies shouting]

This is it.

We're going to die.

Richard, stand behind me.

I will not.

I will stand beside you.

It's a good day to die

We won't, there's one more episode

But still, we could die

We all know that's a massive load of...

Right.

Still, we might

And if we did, we will never live ever after

Cozy at home by the sea

You writing poems for our seven children

Frankly, I thought maybe three

I'll never marry Roberta and rule the kingdom

Loved and respected and cheered

Known for my fair-minded ways and my full-grown dragon

Also my full, flowing beard

Together: It's a good day to die

Oh, please, this isn't "Game of Thrones"

We're not gonna die

Let's end the song and grow some stones and fight

Or will we leave all our viewers

With pain and anger

Just like we left them last year?

Could we just stop once again on a huge cliffhanger?

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Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0