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_
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SHANIA: Let's go, girls.
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[SHANIA TWAIN'S "MAN! I
FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!" PLAYS]
4
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:08,410
Come on.
5
00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:14,920
I'm going out tonight,
I'm feeling all right
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00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,390
Gonna let it all hang out
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00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:18,860
[SNIFFS, COUGHS]
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00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,390
Want to make some noise,
really raise my voice
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00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,290
Yeah, I want to scream and shout
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00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,360
[MARIA CRYING]
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[SIGHS]
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00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,150
-
No inhibitions, make no conditions
- Babe, it's your turn!
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00:00:32,170 --> 00:00:34,600
MARVIN: Sorry. Just dealt
myself a hand of Solitaire.
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00:00:34,670 --> 00:00:37,140
-
Get a little out of line
- I haven't had a glass of wine in 10 months,
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00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,776
- so let me have this buttery Chard in peace.
-
I ain't gonna act politically correct
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00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,720
- Roger that.
- Okay.
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00:00:41,740 --> 00:00:42,890
I only want to have a good time
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00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:45,110
I've missed us. [INHALES DEEPLY]
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00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:46,296
The best thing about being a woman
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00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,920
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- What are you doing?!
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00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,450
What are you doing?!
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00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,266
-
Is the prerogative to have a...
- [SIGHS]
23
00:00:51,290 --> 00:00:52,790
[MUSIC STOPS]
24
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:57,290
Wine and Shania? I got
here just in time.
25
00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,230
You need to Zuo Yue Zi.
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00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,950
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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Fresh off the boat
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00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:08,050
I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go
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00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,040
If you don't know,
homey, now you know
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00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:11,370
Fresh off the boat
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00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,880
Homey, you don't know
where I come from
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00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:15,210
But I know where I'm goin'
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00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:17,010
I'm fresh off the boat
34
00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:20,859
I'm sure Zuo Yue tea is great,
35
00:01:20,860 --> 00:01:23,580
and definitely worth
sneaking into my house,
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00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,260
scaring me, and breaking my glassware,
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00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,220
but I'm a coffee person.
38
00:01:27,330 --> 00:01:30,480
Zuo Yue Zi isn't just tea.
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00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,320
It's a Chinese custom where your mother,
40
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,750
or your mother-in-law,
or your selfless friend
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00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,730
takes care of you after
you've given birth.
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00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,140
Oh, that's sweet.
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00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:39,980
And it looks like I came just in time
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00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,910
because your body has obviously
been through a trauma.
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00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:44,410
But don't worry.
46
00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:48,340
Zuo Yue Zi will help
you heal and re-balance.
47
00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:50,510
Isn't that what this is for?
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00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:52,750
[LAUGHING]
49
00:01:54,090 --> 00:01:55,920
Come on. That's funny, isn't it?
50
00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:58,920
I'm still funny, right?
51
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:01,120
Good ol' Funny Honey.
52
00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:03,090
I haven't slept in 36 hours.
53
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:06,080
That's exactly why you need
me to Zuo Yue Zi for you.
54
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,850
Louis' mother did it for me,
and it was a lifesaver.
55
00:02:08,860 --> 00:02:12,360
I'll cook all your meals, make
sure you get plenty of rest,
56
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:14,800
and I'll be an extra set
of hands with Maria.
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00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:16,670
I can't ask you to do all that.
58
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:19,340
You're so busy with your
family and your book.
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00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,180
What book? Please, let me help you.
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00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,400
Besides, this might be the
only opportunity I have
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00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:28,550
to Zuo Yue Zi for someone
because I have no daughters,
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00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:31,620
and my sons will probably
all marry strong women
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00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,660
who I will be too old to overpower.
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00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,690
It's a tempting offer,
but I don't need help.
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00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:37,820
I've got Marvin.
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00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:41,020
[LAUGHING]
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00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:43,630
There's Funny Honey!
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00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:45,540
No, he helps with the cooking...
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00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:48,570
Don't worry. Breakfast is on the grill.
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[CLIP, CLIP]
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Okay.
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00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:55,650
Let's try your Zuo Yue Zi.
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00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,810
Fantastic. Thank you, Honey,
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00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,020
for being the otherwise disappointing
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00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,750
white daughter-in-law who is
too weak to fight me off.
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00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:11,360
[GRUNTING, PANTING]
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00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:14,050
The Weather Channel is counting
down the storms of the century,
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00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,670
and this is what you're watching?
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00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:18,600
Hey! "Pumping Iron". [CHUCKLES]
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00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:21,070
This movie inspired my
very first bowl cut.
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00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:22,770
Eddie and I want to
start lifting weights.
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00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,870
Don't get too big. We're
not buying you new shirts.
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00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:27,140
We know. We just wanted to
get stronger than Grandma.
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00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:28,480
[BOTH GRUNTING]
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I can't hold on.
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My arms feel like Jell-O.
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[GRUNTS]
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90
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:43,440
_
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00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,520
She is deceptively strong.
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00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:46,880
She doesn't slice a watermelon.
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00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,730
She rips it open with her bare hands.
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00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,660
Hey, Dad, since Mom's over
at Honey's for a while,
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00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,700
we thought we could turn
her office into a gym.
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00:03:53,740 --> 00:03:55,000
I don't see why not.
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00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:57,296
She's not using it anymore since
her book was a total fail...
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00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,310
I-I mean, she's not using it anymore.
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00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:01,480
It's so great that
mysterious billionaire
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00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:04,150
bought all the copies of Mommy's
book and insisted she retire.
101
00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:06,460
She told me Tom Clancy paid
her so she could stop writing
102
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,150
because he feared the competition.
103
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,790
You two are such idiots.
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00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,590
The mysterious billionaire
was Tom Clancy.
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00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:14,270
- Oh!
- Uh, yep, that's exactly what happened.
106
00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:16,490
- [GRUNTING]
- [SIGHS] I'll be in my room.
107
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,060
I can't concentrate
with all this grunting.
108
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:23,270
Hey, Dad, want to hop on
the muscle train with us?
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00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:25,280
I'd love to, but since your
mom's busy with Honey,
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00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,200
this is my chance to spend some QT
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00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:28,540
with number three. [CHUCKLES]
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Quality time with Evan?
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00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:35,410
Because your mom hogs him
to herself all the time?
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00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,050
Cool.
115
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,780
Hey, Emery, want to go make a smoothie?
116
00:04:38,850 --> 00:04:39,980
As Arnold says...
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[AS ARNOLD] "First you
bulk, then you shred."
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00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:44,450
119
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,190
Lunch time.
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00:04:48,230 --> 00:04:50,459
I made you a special fish soup
121
00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:52,099
with red dates and Goji.
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00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:55,400
It's full of iron to help
restore your broken body.
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00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:56,700
I wouldn't say it's broken.
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00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:59,470
Of course, your...
splintered body. Try it.
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00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:01,240
How do you know all this?
126
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,210
Grandma Huang did this
for me three times.
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00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:04,940
It was either learn about Goji
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00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,960
or listen to one of her
arm wrestling stories.
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00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:10,510
Mmm, that's good.
130
00:05:10,580 --> 00:05:12,820
"Good"? It's fantastic! [CHUCKLES]
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00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,150
[SLURPS] Mmm.
132
00:05:14,220 --> 00:05:16,690
You're spoiling us Jessica.
133
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,336
You sure you don't
want me to thaw us out
134
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,590
some strip steaks for dinner?
135
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:20,890
- Please God, no.
- No.
136
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,590
I've already started on a
sesame oil soup for dinner.
137
00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:26,530
You're staying for dinner?
Oh, God bless you.
138
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,100
Huh, soup for dinner? Slurps up!
139
00:05:29,170 --> 00:05:31,930
Oh, and thank you for the socks.
They're very cozy.
140
00:05:31,970 --> 00:05:34,500
Well, it's important for new
mothers to keep their feet warm.
141
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:38,570
Grandma Huang gave me those
during our first Zuo Yue Zi.
142
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,380
I threatened to push her down the stairs
143
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,550
so many times in those socks.
144
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:44,980
[SPOON CLINKS]
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00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:47,139
I don't know if it's the Goji or what,
146
00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:49,140
but something's happening.
147
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,420
I think I feel my milk letting down.
148
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,020
Surrender to the Goji.
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00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,120
[CHUCKLES]
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00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,630
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
151
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:02,160
Okay, I'm gonna... lift it.
152
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,400
I would argue we already worked out
153
00:06:04,470 --> 00:06:06,070
by moving all those boxes of Mom's novel
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00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:07,840
from here to Grandma's garage.
155
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,910
Guess we don't want to overdo it.
156
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,710
Exactly. You know, for a billionaire,
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00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:15,200
you'd think Tom Clancy could
come pick up his own books.
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00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:17,000
- Hmm.
- Hey, bud.
159
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:18,250
What you doing? Reading?
160
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:19,300
Trying to.
161
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,950
Ooh, "Churchill: Lad to Legend."
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00:06:22,990 --> 00:06:24,620
Big book. Big man.
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00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:27,420
Dad, can I help you with something?
164
00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:30,430
No, I just thought we could
hang out, me and you.
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00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:34,290
- Uh, I don't really... "hang".
- Sure you do!
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00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,970
I see you in here with
Mom all the time...
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00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:39,340
hanging, chilling, maxing, relaxing.
168
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,500
- But that's different.
- Why?
169
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:42,670
Come on. You know why.
170
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:46,110
[SCOFFS] Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
171
00:06:46,180 --> 00:06:47,280
Why?
172
00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,180
Because I'm more of a "Mommy Guy".
173
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,450
Everyone knows that.
174
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,220
All right, Winston,
there's only steerage
175
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,800
on this steamer to Calcutta.
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00:06:54,820 --> 00:06:56,120
Let's see what you do.
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00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:58,720
178
00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:00,990
[MARIA COOING]
179
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,090
[SIGHS]
180
00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:09,530
Hmm.
181
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,400
Welcome back.
182
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,840
- [GASPS]
- You were running in your dream.
183
00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:15,170
Jessica?
184
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,510
I'll go make your next herbal tea.
185
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,540
Oh, no. No, no, that's okay.
186
00:07:19,610 --> 00:07:22,450
Really, between the soups
and the herbs and the nap,
187
00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:24,610
I feel completely refreshed.
188
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,980
[GROANS]
189
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,480
[SIGHS]
190
00:07:28,590 --> 00:07:29,720
Where are you going?
191
00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:31,560
I thought I'd get the stroller,
192
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,420
take Maria out for some fresh air.
193
00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:35,160
I am sorry, Honey, but you can't.
194
00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:37,050
During Zuo Yue Zi,
195
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,430
the new mother can't leave
the house for a month.
196
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:41,430
- What?
- That's what it means.
197
00:07:41,530 --> 00:07:44,430
Zuo Yue Zi... "Sitting the Month".
198
00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:47,480
I'm going to be here, in your house,
199
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,340
helping you heal the entire time.
200
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:51,760
30 days?
201
00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:53,660
And 30 nights!
202
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,990
_
203
00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:58,940
204
00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:00,820
- _
- [REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPENS]
205
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,250
206
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,490
Ah, ah, ah!
207
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,090
The less you move during this time,
208
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,906
the better for your pelvis.
What do you need?
209
00:08:07,930 --> 00:08:09,460
Just a glass of ice water.
210
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,460
I burned my tongue on the tea.
211
00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:13,530
I'm sorry, but cold food and drink
212
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,960
aren't allowed during Zuo Yue Zi.
213
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,830
They're a shock to the system.
Here's breakfast.
214
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:21,740
Oh. The same soup?
215
00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:22,840
Every day?
216
00:08:22,910 --> 00:08:24,140
Oh, there are small changes.
217
00:08:24,210 --> 00:08:27,280
Next week, we introduce
White Dahlia Root.
218
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,240
Jessica, I so appreciate
219
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,656
you wanting to "Sit the Month" with me,
220
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,820
but I can't let you do
this for 29 more days.
221
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,000
It's too much trouble.
222
00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:38,420
Nonsense. What else do I have going on?
223
00:08:38,490 --> 00:08:40,090
Off the top of my head...
your husband...
224
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,320
- He's fine.
- ... your boys...
225
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:42,690
- Perfectly fine.
- ... your book?
226
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,960
What book? You are my
priority right now,
227
00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,730
and I want to finish what we started.
228
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,076
It's called "Sitting the Month",
229
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,420
not "Sitting the Day and a Half."
230
00:08:49,470 --> 00:08:50,900
Yeah, I kind of wish
231
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,200
you had translated
that in the beginning.
232
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:57,840
Please, just let me give you
this gift, as a friend.
233
00:08:58,910 --> 00:09:01,680
Okay, but do you think I could have some
234
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,380
fruit for breakfast instead of the soup?
235
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:10,100
236
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:12,800
You can have this in four hours
237
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:14,560
after it's warmed to room temperature.
238
00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:18,090
239
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,730
There you are. Come on.
Time to work out.
240
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,130
What do you think I'm doing?
241
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,600
MAN: Work it.
242
00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:25,769
Tae Bo, the revolutionary combination
243
00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:27,370
of Taekwondo and boxing.
244
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,940
Well, what about weight lifting?
245
00:09:28,970 --> 00:09:31,370
We can't just jump to
the pump. It's not safe.
246
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,210
We have to master our body weight.
247
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,310
Before I lift iron, I got
to know how to lift Eddie.
248
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:38,580
Work it.
249
00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:41,920
Do it again! Go!
250
00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,250
Whoa! Tae Bo!
251
00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:45,820
The revolutionary combination
of Taekwondo and boxing.
252
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:49,060
Yeah, it's a great workout. Grab a seat.
253
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,330
My sweatbands are in the wash.
254
00:09:50,430 --> 00:09:52,190
Hey, can I ask you guys something?
255
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,400
Evan said he's more of
a "Mom Guy", which...
256
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,056
[SCOFFS] ... I mean,
that's crazy, right?
257
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,400
Evan's not a "Mom Guy".
258
00:09:58,470 --> 00:09:59,750
- He's definitely a "Mom Guy".
- Total "Mom Guy".
259
00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:01,170
Really, you guys know it, too?!
260
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,100
So it's not your mom hogging Evan.
261
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:07,440
It's Evan choosing to hang
out with her instead of me.
262
00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:09,280
Dad, we're working out here, so...
263
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:10,550
Okay, with your mom away,
264
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,250
I've got 30 days to turn
Evan into a "Dad Guy".
265
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,290
All we need is some classic,
all-American father-son QT.
266
00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:19,550
[AIR RUSHING]
267
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:21,520
Isn't this great?
268
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,720
Since we both love our hair,
I got this attachment
269
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:26,860
so we could style side-by-side
and, you know, bond.
270
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,760
Maybe turn you into a "Dad Guy".
271
00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:29,930
What?
272
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,970
I said I thought we could bond!
273
00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:33,760
What?!
274
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,710
- [CLICK]
- [RUSHING STOPS]
275
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,840
Sorry. I was just saying how nice it is
276
00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:40,280
that we both love styling our hair.
277
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,610
We have that in common.
278
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:43,680
- I don't style my hair.
- Of course you do.
279
00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:45,610
- I just wash and go.
- [GASPS]
280
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,080
Wow. You're blessed.
281
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,380
Just like Mom.
282
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,920
Mind if I go read?
283
00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:54,160
Churchill is entering
his crotchety phase.
284
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,060
His jowls are about to come in.
285
00:10:56,130 --> 00:11:00,000
286
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:02,250
_
287
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:03,579
If I can't take a shower,
288
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,169
can I at least wash my hair?
289
00:11:05,170 --> 00:11:06,170
Please?
290
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,719
Sorry, no.
291
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,670
Bathing of any kind is
prohibited during Zuo Yue Zi.
292
00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:13,310
- But... why?
- [SIGHS]
293
00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:15,570
Some say it's to keep
your good bacteria,
294
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,660
others say it's to maintain body heat.
295
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:19,610
I'm not sure which, but
I'm not gonna argue
296
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,600
with thousands of years of
Chinese culture, are you?
297
00:11:22,650 --> 00:11:26,279
I mean, no. I guess not. But...
298
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,839
Sounds like you're arguing
with Chinese culture.
299
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,260
I don't ask you why you kiss
the Blarney Stone, do I?
300
00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:34,260
[CHUCKLES] She's got you there.
301
00:11:34,330 --> 00:11:37,000
Now, now, it's only natural to question
302
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,070
something that is so powerful.
303
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:42,840
So I got you the latest issue
of "Sitting the Month-ly".
304
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,659
The crosswords are super easy.
305
00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:47,280
Every answer is "baby".
306
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:50,610
- [MARIA FUSSING]
- I'm gonna go put Maria down for a nap.
307
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,750
Okay, Jessica is up to something.
308
00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:55,720
I just can't figure out what.
309
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,380
I mean, she's being way too nice,
310
00:11:57,390 --> 00:11:58,390
she won't leave me alone,
311
00:11:58,391 --> 00:12:01,060
she's not talking about her
favorite topic... herself.
312
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,880
I don't know what's going on
with her, but I'm worried.
313
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,530
Well, I'm not. I'm loving this.
314
00:12:06,630 --> 00:12:09,630
Nice Jessica, free child care,
315
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,460
barely having to chew your food.
316
00:12:11,540 --> 00:12:15,380
Plus, I'm down to my pre-baby weight.
317
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,170
Pre-Nicole. [LAUGHS]
318
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,320
This is the life, man. [CHUCKLES]
319
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:20,680
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
320
00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:22,940
[SIGHS] Watching all that
Tae Bo made me thirsty.
321
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,910
- Restorative smoothie?
- Hell yeah, bro.
322
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:27,680
Got to get that muscle repair.
Rip, tear, repair.
323
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,950
Care to add some watermelon?
324
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:32,720
[GRUNTS]
325
00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:35,690
We got to start working out.
326
00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:37,990
Since our salon session was such a bust,
327
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:40,260
I thought we'd try an activity
we both could enjoy...
328
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:41,450
storm chasing.
329
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,230
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
330
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:45,930
Can we do this another time?
331
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,740
Maybe when there's a cloud in the sky.
332
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,640
I just got a 3,000-piece
puzzle of the Cliffs of Dover.
333
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,110
Or as Winston called them,
"Britain's Front Gate".
334
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:56,040
A puzzle?! I love puzzles!
335
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,680
[SCOFFS]
336
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,550
All these cliffs look alike.
337
00:13:02,690 --> 00:13:05,490
- [SIGHS]
- That's the fun part.
338
00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:08,060
You know, I can finish this myself.
339
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,360
Probably faster.
340
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,030
No way. This is our quality time.
341
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:13,380
Just you and me.
342
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,830
Stop! You don't need to force it!
343
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,520
I'm not. I like spending time with you.
344
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:19,880
I was talking about the pieces.
345
00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:24,010
Oh, yeah, um... me too.
346
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,440
[SIGHS]
347
00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:31,620
348
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:32,919
_
349
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,120
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
350
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,720
"Sorry, cold air is forbidden".
351
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,360
She turned off the AC?
352
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,820
Yeah, isn't it great?
353
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:46,760
Oh, this heat is working
wonders for my joints.
354
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:48,760
Check it out. [EXHALES SHARPLY]
355
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,600
Torpedo squats.
356
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,840
You don't touch another
woman's AC in Florida.
357
00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:57,040
That's it. I'm taking a shower.
358
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,560
- [SCREAMS]
- I knew you'd be tempted.
359
00:13:59,620 --> 00:14:01,280
Also, shh.
360
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:04,980
Screaming isn't allowed
during Zuo Yue Zi.
361
00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:08,140
Jessica, I love that
you want to help me,
362
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,390
but this has gone too far.
You need to leave.
363
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,750
Sorry, I can't do that.
364
00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:15,060
Why? What is going on with you?
365
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,060
I know you. You're my best friend.
366
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,190
Something's going on. Just talk to me.
367
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,830
Fine.
368
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:23,630
369
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:26,130
I didn't want to tell you this, but...
370
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,700
you are very weak.
371
00:14:28,810 --> 00:14:31,900
You hit your Zuo Yue Zi wall very early.
372
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,110
Most people don't break until Day 20.
373
00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:35,580
Jessica, you are acting crazy.
374
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,250
It's way past your nap time.
375
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:38,719
Why don't you go lie down,
376
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,560
and I'll go make us some tea?
377
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,580
378
00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:43,690
[SCOFFS]
379
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:46,650
380
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:49,160
[GRUNTS]
381
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,630
[SIGHS]
382
00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:55,260
[HUMMING]
383
00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:57,330
384
00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:00,960
I added a pinch of Swallowwort.
385
00:15:01,270 --> 00:15:03,810
It'll help that temper!
386
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,440
Honey?
387
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:08,940
[GASPS]
388
00:15:09,050 --> 00:15:11,610
389
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,380
We got a runner.
390
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,300
Honey?
391
00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:19,360
Are you here?
392
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:23,080
If you come back, I'll
give you an ice cube.
393
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,680
394
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:28,950
[SIGHS]
395
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:31,050
[WATER RUNNING]
396
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:33,690
I knew it. So weak.
397
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,790
398
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,809
Aha!
399
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,480
[SCREAMS] Um... you didn't see this.
400
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:41,110
Everyone knows you use
leave-in conditioner, Louis.
401
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:42,359
Sure, but which brand?
402
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,880
Pantene. Have you seen Honey?
403
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:44,970
She escaped!
404
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:47,070
After four days?
405
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:48,869
She hit that wall early, huh?
406
00:15:48,870 --> 00:15:51,410
Yes, and I was doing it the nice way...
407
00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:53,119
rolling out the rules slowly
408
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,380
so she wouldn't freak out,
409
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,140
hiding her shoes so she couldn't escape.
410
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:57,380
But she did escape.
411
00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:59,350
In socks. Like a desperate orphan.
412
00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:00,710
Think, Louis.
413
00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:03,620
If you were a weak white woman
who wanted to feel better,
414
00:16:03,740 --> 00:16:05,240
where would you go?
415
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,500
Talbots?
416
00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:09,740
Anyway, I'm happy you're here.
I need to talk to you.
417
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:10,750
You have two minutes while
418
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,060
I think about where to find Honey. Go.
419
00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:13,540
Okay, I've been trying to turn Evan
420
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,650
into a "Dad Guy" by spending
quality time with him,
421
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,180
but it's not working.
422
00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:20,080
And now I'm worried. Maybe
I'm not an "Evan Guy".
423
00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:22,190
Please, you think I'm an "Eddie Guy"?
424
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,000
You don't have to be a
perfect match with your son
425
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:25,660
to have a relationship with him.
426
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,920
- Hmm.
- You'll find some common ground,
427
00:16:27,990 --> 00:16:29,999
probably when you least expect it.
428
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,400
Like how Eddie and I discovered
we both like to kick anthills.
429
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,200
I don't know how you two can do that.
430
00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:37,219
The ants work so hard on those hills.
431
00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:40,670
My point is, there's no such
thing as "quality time".
432
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:42,110
Time is time.
433
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,660
Huh. Thanks.
434
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,399
You know, I never
thought about it like...
435
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,400
The backyard!
436
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:51,650
I bet Honey wanted to give
herself a nice hose shower.
437
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,720
- [AC UNIT HUMMING]
- [CRUNCHING]
438
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,060
Ah.
439
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,860
I have missed salt.
440
00:17:01,930 --> 00:17:03,160
Mmm.
441
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,000
Thank you for hiding me, Jenny.
442
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:06,460
No problem.
443
00:17:06,530 --> 00:17:09,070
Jessica will give up soon, right?
444
00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:11,720
I mean, it's nice that she
wants to help me heal,
445
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,720
but this is just too much.
446
00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:16,860
_
447
00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:21,500
_
448
00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:26,500
_
449
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:30,400
_
450
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:33,420
_
451
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:36,460
_
452
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,160
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
453
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,760
I'm sorry. I only
understood "Zuo Yue Zi".
454
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:44,170
It's not you who needs to heal.
455
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,000
It's Jessica.
456
00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:48,570
Why would Jessica need to heal?
457
00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:49,870
458
00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:51,170
[GASPS]
459
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,279
Oh, my God.
460
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:57,260
_
461
00:17:58,650 --> 00:18:00,020
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
462
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,450
Hey, a new puzzle, huh?
463
00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:04,690
[CHUCKLES] Lot of corners on that one.
464
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,020
Only four. Same as every puzzle.
465
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:08,130
[CHUCKLES]
466
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,470
Look, I'm sorry for trying to force
467
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,330
all this quality time on you.
468
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,770
I was just hoping to turn
you into a "Dad Guy".
469
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:19,200
I may not be a "Dad Guy",
but you're still my dad.
470
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,740
And it was nice of you
to do all that stuff.
471
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,870
Annoying, but nice.
472
00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:25,340
[CHUCKLES]
473
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:27,810
Um, well, if it's okay with you,
474
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,550
I'm just gonna watch TV over here
475
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,010
while you do your thing over there.
476
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,350
I'd like that.
477
00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:37,920
478
00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:39,560
- [CRASHING]
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
479
00:18:39,630 --> 00:18:42,360
"Twister"? This movie is the worst.
480
00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:44,690
Such an inaccurate depiction of weather.
481
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,100
That first tornado
wasn't even a supercell.
482
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,120
Why chase it?
483
00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:49,480
Well, what do you expect from a movie
484
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,570
where Bill Paxton leaves Jami Gertz?
485
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,500
Come on. That woman is delightful.
486
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:57,410
And a doctor! Talk about a catch!
487
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,100
Look at this. This is so ridiculous.
488
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,440
[CHUCKLES] I know. I hate it.
489
00:19:00,460 --> 00:19:01,460
[SCOFFS]
490
00:19:01,470 --> 00:19:02,470
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
491
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:03,480
[DOOR OPENS]
492
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:07,880
Ha! I knew you would
come back eventually.
493
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:09,820
To my own home?
494
00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:10,990
You caught me.
495
00:19:11,090 --> 00:19:12,700
Do you know how dangerous it is
496
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,590
to stop sitting the month early?
497
00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:16,230
You won't heal properly.
498
00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:18,200
Now we need to start all over again.
499
00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:20,130
We do, actually.
500
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:21,330
Only this time,
501
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,979
how about you take a seat
502
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:24,880
and I make the tea, okay?
503
00:19:24,970 --> 00:19:27,940
504
00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:30,870
So, I talked to Jenny.
505
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:33,940
I think I know why you're doing this.
506
00:19:33,980 --> 00:19:36,710
Because you're broken and
I'm helping you heal.
507
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:40,320
No. Because you need to heal.
508
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:44,450
509
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,420
I am so sorry.
510
00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:49,390
511
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:52,360
Look, I know you don't want
to talk about this right now.
512
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,070
But when you do, I'm here.
513
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,140
I need to get over my book.
514
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,140
515
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:04,470
Is that it?
516
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,310
It's a good start.
517
00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:09,410
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- [CHUCKLES]
518
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,210
What is this?
519
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,880
This is sangria.
520
00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:15,020
This is how Southerners sit the month.
521
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:18,660
522
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,390
The fruit tastes like wine.
523
00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:23,290
I'll make us a pitcher.
524
00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:31,250
All right, boys,
525
00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:33,500
guess who's ready to get his Bo on?
526
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:35,990
Boys?
527
00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:38,160
- [AIR RUSHING]
- Boys?
528
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,320
So sorry. We should have asked.
529
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,400
We're just trying to find
our optimal workout hair.
530
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,950
Although, now that we look so good,
531
00:20:47,050 --> 00:20:50,420
it seems like kind of a waste to
ruin this hair by working out.
532
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:51,950
[CHUCKLES]
533
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,190
Mind if I cut in?
534
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,960
[CHUCKLES]
535
00:20:58,060 --> 00:21:00,030
[AIR RUSHING]
536
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,040
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
537
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:07,640
Repair and Synchronization by
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