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1
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Eddie: As a kid,
there are things that terrify you.
2
00:00:04,402 --> 00:00:06,124
Parents, thank you all for coming.
3
00:00:06,144 --> 00:00:07,404
We know you're very busy, but we felt
4
00:00:07,439 --> 00:00:10,912
we needed to bring this matter
to your immediate attention.
5
00:00:11,689 --> 00:00:13,811
This man has been seen in the area
6
00:00:13,845 --> 00:00:15,312
handing out drugs to children
7
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and telling them they're stickers.
8
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[Parents murmuring]
9
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The children then proceed
to lick the stickers
10
00:00:21,019 --> 00:00:23,187
and are then on drugs.
[Murmuring escalates]
11
00:00:23,221 --> 00:00:25,589
We are working closely
with local authorities,
12
00:00:25,623 --> 00:00:27,658
but we also wanted to make you aware
13
00:00:27,692 --> 00:00:31,212
so any additional
precautions could be taken.
14
00:00:31,492 --> 00:00:33,197
Yes, you in back.
15
00:00:33,231 --> 00:00:35,813
When do report cards come out?
16
00:00:36,468 --> 00:00:39,699
In my family, that's what terrified us.
17
00:00:39,861 --> 00:00:41,453
S01E02
Home Sweet Home-School
18
00:00:41,473 --> 00:00:42,913
Fresh off the boat
19
00:00:42,933 --> 00:00:44,474
I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go
20
00:00:44,509 --> 00:00:46,610
If you don't know,
homey, now you know
21
00:00:46,644 --> 00:00:47,878
Fresh off the boat
22
00:00:47,912 --> 00:00:50,547
Homey,
you don't know where I come from
23
00:00:50,582 --> 00:00:52,120
But I know where I'm goin'
24
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:53,882
I'm fresh off the boat
25
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sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:00:55,996 --> 00:00:57,621
My mom was singing at the restaurant
27
00:00:57,655 --> 00:00:59,156
because my dad thought
it would help business.
28
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:03,604
A beautiful face without a name
29
00:01:04,139 --> 00:01:06,063
For so long
30
00:01:06,738 --> 00:01:09,466
A beautiful smile to hide the pain
Well, happy anniversary.
31
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:11,635
Married 45 years.
32
00:01:11,669 --> 00:01:13,036
I can't imagine it.
33
00:01:13,071 --> 00:01:15,906
Did you ever know that you're my...
34
00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:17,474
Hey, Nancy!
35
00:01:17,508 --> 00:01:19,076
That coupon is expired.
36
00:01:19,110 --> 00:01:20,877
You have to check the date.
37
00:01:20,912 --> 00:01:23,513
Literally, I can't imagine it.
38
00:01:23,548 --> 00:01:24,948
How'd she see that?
39
00:01:24,982 --> 00:01:26,817
Jessica: I see everything.
40
00:01:26,851 --> 00:01:32,122
'Cause you are the
wi-I-I-nd beneath my...
41
00:01:32,156 --> 00:01:35,492
Okay, just one sprig of parsley per plate,
please.
42
00:01:35,526 --> 00:01:38,128
It is a garnish, not a salad.
43
00:01:38,162 --> 00:01:39,129
My...
44
00:01:39,163 --> 00:01:40,797
Thank you, thank you.
45
00:01:40,831 --> 00:01:43,633
Uh, the voice of an angel,
the incredible singing lady.
46
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:44,634
[Applause] There we go.
47
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,536
- Okay. [Laughing]
- Okay, okay.
48
00:01:46,570 --> 00:01:48,583
She's something else. Okay.
49
00:01:49,205 --> 00:01:50,607
What are you doing?
50
00:01:50,641 --> 00:01:52,542
The restaurant has been
open almost a month,
51
00:01:52,576 --> 00:01:54,244
and we have been losing money every day.
52
00:01:54,278 --> 00:01:55,945
We have tighten up around here,
53
00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:57,547
or we will never turn a profit.
54
00:01:57,581 --> 00:01:59,749
Is that why you clog half the pepper holes?
55
00:01:59,784 --> 00:02:01,584
Oh, look at that guy,
56
00:02:01,619 --> 00:02:05,121
shaking away our profits
like he's a pepper monster.
57
00:02:05,156 --> 00:02:06,856
Look,
if you're gonna help with the restaurant,
58
00:02:06,891 --> 00:02:08,124
we need to get on the same page,
59
00:02:08,159 --> 00:02:09,793
and my page says
60
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:12,295
the key to success is to
kill them with kindness.
61
00:02:12,329 --> 00:02:13,963
- I've always... shh!
- Did you hear that?
62
00:02:13,998 --> 00:02:18,441
Mitch, did you just take a
crouton from the salad bar?
63
00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:22,043
Are you saying I did not hear a crunch?
64
00:02:22,864 --> 00:02:24,841
You are trying to dissolve the crouton.
65
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:26,576
Uh, Mitch, why don't you go see
66
00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:28,645
if any of the servers need help, okay?
67
00:02:28,679 --> 00:02:30,350
[Chuckles nervously]
68
00:02:32,149 --> 00:02:34,317
Oh, hell, no.
69
00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:38,388
Yeah
70
00:02:38,422 --> 00:02:40,490
Eddie: You waiting r your report card?
71
00:02:40,524 --> 00:02:42,992
Dave: Yeah,
and a birthday card from my dad.
72
00:02:43,026 --> 00:02:45,128
If it's within three
weeks of your birthday,
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00:02:45,162 --> 00:02:46,871
then it still counts.
74
00:02:47,095 --> 00:02:48,631
I've got a forgery kit in my room.
75
00:02:48,699 --> 00:02:50,700
I'm gonna use it to
change all my C's to B's
76
00:02:50,734 --> 00:02:51,901
before my mom comes home.
77
00:02:51,935 --> 00:02:53,302
- Sweet.
- Yeah.
78
00:02:53,337 --> 00:02:55,905
I'm not making the same rookie
mistake I made last year.
79
00:02:55,939 --> 00:02:58,808
Jessica: Put your gym clothes in
the hamper and take out the trash.
80
00:02:58,842 --> 00:03:00,810
Okay, I will. Love you!
81
00:03:01,945 --> 00:03:04,213
You love me? What are you hiding?
82
00:03:04,248 --> 00:03:07,112
- There's nothing in my backpack.
- Oh, I know.
83
00:03:10,959 --> 00:03:11,988
B-minus!
84
00:03:14,745 --> 00:03:15,791
Is there anything else for me?
85
00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:17,426
Mailman: Buddy, we talked about this.
86
00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:20,639
I would lead with the card.
I'm rooting for you.
87
00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:24,133
- You ready?
- Yeah.
88
00:03:28,538 --> 00:03:30,706
- Yes!
- Yes!
89
00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:32,842
Mom! We got report cards!
90
00:03:32,876 --> 00:03:35,277
Oh. Okay.
91
00:03:37,881 --> 00:03:39,215
What is this?
92
00:03:39,249 --> 00:03:40,849
Our school doesn't give out grades.
93
00:03:40,884 --> 00:03:43,586
It fosters unhealthy competition.
94
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:47,256
Plus/minus rainbow? One leprechaun?
95
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:49,258
Two clouds... that seems bad.
96
00:03:49,292 --> 00:03:50,793
No, clouds are good.
97
00:03:50,827 --> 00:03:53,707
Clouds are rain. What are you, a farmer?
98
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,001
[Snoop Dogg's "Who am I (What's my name)?"
plays]
99
00:03:59,035 --> 00:04:00,636
The dogg pound's in the house
100
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:01,570
The bomb
101
00:04:01,604 --> 00:04:03,739
E-yi-yi, yi-yi-yi
102
00:04:03,773 --> 00:04:07,309
The dogg pound's in the house
103
00:04:07,343 --> 00:04:11,346
Snoop doggy dogg
104
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:12,714
The bomb
105
00:04:12,749 --> 00:04:13,882
Snoop doggy...
[Button clicks, music stops]
106
00:04:13,917 --> 00:04:15,584
_
107
00:04:15,618 --> 00:04:17,519
Domino! Straight a's, moms!
108
00:04:17,554 --> 00:04:19,288
The one good thing about moving here
109
00:04:19,322 --> 00:04:21,690
is I have no friends and no distractions.
110
00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:23,025
That's why I got a...
111
00:04:23,059 --> 00:04:24,793
Grandma, what does Fonzie say?
112
00:04:24,828 --> 00:04:27,629
"A"! [Hisses]
113
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,875
School is too easy.
114
00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:36,405
Eddie:
Just when you think you've won the game,
115
00:04:36,425 --> 00:04:37,940
this trick done changed the rules.
116
00:04:37,974 --> 00:04:39,975
Eddie, don't call your mother a trick.
117
00:04:39,995 --> 00:04:41,710
You need to make school more challenging,
118
00:04:41,744 --> 00:04:43,779
or else my son will fall behind.
119
00:04:43,813 --> 00:04:45,514
I'm sorry. There's not much I can do
120
00:04:45,548 --> 00:04:46,848
about a straight- "A" student.
121
00:04:46,883 --> 00:04:48,604
Well, is there extra school?
122
00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:51,029
Where is the closest CLC?
123
00:04:51,049 --> 00:04:52,754
Oh, no.
124
00:04:52,789 --> 00:04:54,189
What's CLC?
125
00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:58,093
Chinese learning center...
an after-school program
126
00:04:58,127 --> 00:05:02,898
for reading, math, science, and violin.
127
00:05:02,932 --> 00:05:06,224
[Violin playing]
128
00:05:07,344 --> 00:05:08,870
Look at them, the innocence.
129
00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:10,972
I couldn't hear them through
the reinforced glass,
130
00:05:11,007 --> 00:05:14,442
but I imagined it was
the sound of childhood.
131
00:05:15,406 --> 00:05:17,145
Enjoy your stick, white friends.
132
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:19,981
I'm sorry. We don't have a
Chinese learning center here.
133
00:05:20,016 --> 00:05:21,249
Yes!
134
00:05:21,284 --> 00:05:23,652
But we do have an after-school program
135
00:05:23,686 --> 00:05:25,053
called animal encounters
136
00:05:25,087 --> 00:05:26,488
where we bring in farm animals
137
00:05:26,522 --> 00:05:28,223
for the children to play with.
138
00:05:28,257 --> 00:05:32,102
In fact,
I have a baby chick in my lap right now.
139
00:05:33,129 --> 00:05:35,330
[Chick chirping]
140
00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:38,954
Please put your lap chicken away.
141
00:05:40,061 --> 00:05:41,803
Jessica: I don't understand these people.
142
00:05:41,837 --> 00:05:45,206
It's like success is not important to them.
143
00:05:45,241 --> 00:05:47,876
To Spencer and his four C's.
144
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,144
[Glasses clink]
145
00:05:49,178 --> 00:05:50,178
Unh-unh!
146
00:05:50,212 --> 00:05:53,327
Nancy, no wasting napkins.
147
00:05:53,347 --> 00:05:55,483
Uh, but the lady at table six asked for it.
148
00:05:55,518 --> 00:05:56,818
She ordered a salad.
149
00:05:56,852 --> 00:05:58,574
She does not need an extra napkin.
150
00:05:58,594 --> 00:06:00,037
[Sighs]
151
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,612
My hands are tied.
152
00:06:03,943 --> 00:06:05,827
Jessica, we talked about this.
153
00:06:05,861 --> 00:06:07,862
It's a slippery slope.
154
00:06:07,897 --> 00:06:09,497
First, an employee pops a crouton.
155
00:06:09,532 --> 00:06:11,966
Next thing you know,
they are wheeling ovens out of the kitchen.
156
00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:13,868
Same with the customer.
157
00:06:13,903 --> 00:06:15,303
First, they get extra napkin.
158
00:06:15,337 --> 00:06:17,405
Next thing you know,
they run out on the bill.
159
00:06:17,439 --> 00:06:18,840
Same with the boys.
160
00:06:18,874 --> 00:06:21,009
First,
they have baby chickens in their lap.
161
00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:23,344
Next thing you know, they are homeless!
162
00:06:25,899 --> 00:06:29,884
You know,
just because they don't offer CLC here
163
00:06:29,918 --> 00:06:32,487
doesn't mean you can't
provide it for the boys.
164
00:06:32,521 --> 00:06:34,678
Well, I'm not a teacher.
165
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,591
No, but you are very smart.
166
00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:37,925
I mean, have you ever met
167
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,980
a "wheel of fortune"
puzzle you couldn't figure out?
168
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,462
I always guess them. Mm-hmm.
169
00:06:41,497 --> 00:06:44,265
I mean, you're way smarter than
the teachers they had at CLC.
170
00:06:44,299 --> 00:06:45,867
Some of them were not impressive.
171
00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:46,901
Mnh-mnh.
172
00:06:46,935 --> 00:06:48,536
Oh, never mind.
173
00:06:48,570 --> 00:06:49,904
You can't teach the Boy CLC.
174
00:06:49,938 --> 00:06:51,739
I mean, what would I do at the restaurant?
175
00:06:51,774 --> 00:06:53,074
You are so valuable here.
176
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,760
- I really am.
- Yeah.
177
00:06:56,407 --> 00:06:59,147
But we do have a crisis on our hands.
178
00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:01,692
Our boys did get straight A's.
179
00:07:08,323 --> 00:07:09,357
Dave: Oh, hey, man.
180
00:07:09,391 --> 00:07:11,058
Look what my mom got
me for my straight c's.
181
00:07:11,093 --> 00:07:12,795
You want to play?
182
00:07:12,815 --> 00:07:15,016
Does the yellow man like dumplings?
183
00:07:15,364 --> 00:07:16,330
We do, we do. Sorry.
184
00:07:16,365 --> 00:07:17,598
I put you in an awkward spot.
185
00:07:17,633 --> 00:07:19,400
Let me go get my breakaway pants
186
00:07:19,434 --> 00:07:21,569
so I can rip them off.
187
00:07:23,739 --> 00:07:24,705
[Grunts]
188
00:07:24,740 --> 00:07:26,240
We're doing CLC.
189
00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:27,875
But there aren't any in Orlando.
190
00:07:27,910 --> 00:07:30,837
There is now... homeschool CLC.
191
00:07:31,745 --> 00:07:33,697
I will be your teacher.
192
00:07:42,798 --> 00:07:44,099
Time.
193
00:07:46,135 --> 00:07:48,102
[Basketball dribbling]
194
00:07:51,085 --> 00:07:53,012
Eddie, focus!
195
00:07:53,032 --> 00:07:53,908
[Sighs]
196
00:07:53,928 --> 00:07:56,002
Okay, I need to start making dinner.
197
00:07:56,036 --> 00:07:59,972
Evan,
you make sure that everyone does their CLC.
198
00:08:00,007 --> 00:08:02,375
Okay, teacher mommy.
199
00:08:02,409 --> 00:08:03,609
[Pen clatters] You're loving this.
200
00:08:03,644 --> 00:08:05,845
Teacher's pet and mama's boy.
201
00:08:05,879 --> 00:08:07,780
I'm writing you up.
202
00:08:07,814 --> 00:08:09,849
"Student... Eddie Huang.
203
00:08:09,883 --> 00:08:11,684
Infraction... not nice."
204
00:08:11,718 --> 00:08:13,286
[Pen slams]
205
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,021
[Pen clicks]
206
00:08:15,055 --> 00:08:17,857
"Student... Eddie Huang."
207
00:08:17,891 --> 00:08:19,492
This sucks, right, Emery?
208
00:08:19,526 --> 00:08:20,893
You play the cards you're dealt.
209
00:08:20,928 --> 00:08:23,040
Choose life, you know?
210
00:08:24,398 --> 00:08:25,931
[Door slams]
211
00:08:28,624 --> 00:08:30,636
Aw, man, a trampoline?
212
00:08:31,405 --> 00:08:34,066
And he's using it inappropriately?
213
00:08:34,675 --> 00:08:36,575
Oh!
214
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,645
I never get to have that much fun.
215
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:45,151
Oh, uh, I'm sorry. I was...
216
00:08:45,185 --> 00:08:48,741
No, no, it's okay. You can have a crouton.
217
00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:49,989
Is this a trick?
218
00:08:50,023 --> 00:08:51,738
Is she here? Is she watching us?
219
00:08:51,758 --> 00:08:53,826
- Are you tricking me?
- No, no. It's not a trick.
220
00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,127
It's a trick. There's cameras, right?
221
00:08:55,161 --> 00:08:56,395
- Stop, stop.
- Where is she?
222
00:08:56,429 --> 00:08:57,529
Look at me.
223
00:08:57,564 --> 00:08:59,998
Mitch, when you're at Cattleman's Ranch,
224
00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:01,433
I want you to feel like
225
00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:04,770
you're being hugged by a
matronly woman with chubby arms.
226
00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:06,605
That's how I want to feel.
227
00:09:06,639 --> 00:09:08,473
[Chuckles] See, I believe
228
00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:10,943
that happy employees are good employees
229
00:09:10,977 --> 00:09:12,911
and good employees are good for business.
230
00:09:12,946 --> 00:09:14,546
So how about this?
231
00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:18,383
You and I,
we're gonna have a crouton together, okay?
232
00:09:18,418 --> 00:09:19,518
R-really?
233
00:09:19,552 --> 00:09:21,620
So I'm gonna take one,
and you're gonna take one.
234
00:09:21,654 --> 00:09:23,155
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
235
00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,289
- Ding!
- Cheers.
236
00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:26,958
[Crunching]
237
00:09:26,993 --> 00:09:28,593
They're pretty good.
238
00:09:28,628 --> 00:09:30,395
Very good. [Laughs]
239
00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:34,099
I know that you aren't a matronly woman,
but...
240
00:09:35,417 --> 00:09:36,501
Bring it.
241
00:09:36,536 --> 00:09:37,969
- All right.
- Bring it, bring it.
242
00:09:38,004 --> 00:09:40,138
[Both chuckling]
243
00:09:40,173 --> 00:09:42,841
All right. [Laughs]
244
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,276
- Okay, we're good.
- Okay.
245
00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:45,677
Okay. Just one more. Nice. Okay.
246
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:48,046
- You're a good man, you know?
- Thank you.
247
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,515
- Okay. You're a really good man.
- Thank you.
248
00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:51,983
Okay. Oh, that was fun.
249
00:09:52,018 --> 00:09:54,219
- We should do that all the time.
- No.
250
00:09:55,488 --> 00:09:56,988
[Door opens]
251
00:09:57,023 --> 00:10:00,025
Whoo! Rough day at the ranch.
252
00:10:00,059 --> 00:10:02,394
Is Nancy messing up the iced teas again?
253
00:10:02,428 --> 00:10:06,231
I told her it is 4 cups
of water to 1 tea bag.
254
00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:08,667
It is so hard to not have you there.
255
00:10:08,701 --> 00:10:11,403
But this is best for the boys.
256
00:10:11,437 --> 00:10:13,738
Our sacrifice will be worth it.
257
00:10:13,773 --> 00:10:14,673
[Chckles lightly]
258
00:10:15,841 --> 00:10:18,443
Mom,
Eddie's refusing to use the bathroom pass.
259
00:10:18,477 --> 00:10:21,679
I'm not trying to use a pass
to whiz in my own house.
260
00:10:21,714 --> 00:10:24,349
Dinner's almost ready. You finish your CLC?
261
00:10:24,383 --> 00:10:25,784
You know I didn't.
262
00:10:25,818 --> 00:10:28,386
Dinner after CLC.
263
00:10:28,421 --> 00:10:29,721
[Sighs]
264
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,457
Dad, mom is crazy.
265
00:10:32,491 --> 00:10:35,493
Can't you talk some sense into her?
266
00:10:35,528 --> 00:10:37,629
Uh, well, you know, it's,
uh, tough for all of us.
267
00:10:37,663 --> 00:10:39,264
I'm dying without her at the restaurant.
268
00:10:39,298 --> 00:10:42,133
Nobody's having a good time. Love you!
269
00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:44,402
Love you? My dad never said that.
270
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,638
My family loved each other.
We just didn't say it.
271
00:10:46,672 --> 00:10:48,940
We showed our love through
criticism and micromanagement,
272
00:10:48,974 --> 00:10:51,209
so if you said "love you,"
273
00:10:51,243 --> 00:10:53,478
you were probably hiding something.
274
00:10:53,512 --> 00:10:55,813
Louis: [Laughing] Okay.
275
00:10:55,848 --> 00:10:57,382
- Here you are.
- Oh, I'm okay.
276
00:10:57,416 --> 00:10:59,050
I don't need any extra napkins. Thank you.
277
00:10:59,084 --> 00:11:00,952
I beg to differ.
278
00:11:00,986 --> 00:11:02,086
Boop!
279
00:11:02,121 --> 00:11:04,522
[Both laugh]
280
00:11:08,193 --> 00:11:10,328
Nancy: Hey, we have a jukebox?
281
00:11:10,362 --> 00:11:11,763
I guess so.
282
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,831
Hey, Mitch, go ahead and plug her in.
283
00:11:13,866 --> 00:11:14,932
Really?
284
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:18,002
Happy employees equal happy customers.
285
00:11:18,036 --> 00:11:19,570
[Calypso music plays]
286
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:20,738
Ah.
287
00:11:20,773 --> 00:11:23,741
It's like we've been
whisked away to Trinidad.
288
00:11:23,775 --> 00:11:25,476
[Laughter]
289
00:11:32,684 --> 00:11:34,986
Aw, hell, no!
290
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:39,991
Ee-yi-yi, yi-yi-yi
291
00:11:40,025 --> 00:11:41,892
The dogg pound's in the house
292
00:11:41,927 --> 00:11:44,328
I'm too excited to pimp-walk.
293
00:11:44,363 --> 00:11:47,807
_
294
00:11:47,827 --> 00:11:49,500
Dad doesn't want you at the restaurant.
295
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:50,935
What? That's not true.
296
00:11:50,969 --> 00:11:53,471
Your father is struggling without me,
297
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:56,273
but he is making a sacrifice
for your education.
298
00:11:56,308 --> 00:11:58,242
Ask him yourself.
299
00:11:58,276 --> 00:12:00,144
Of course I want you here.
300
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,746
It is awful without you.
301
00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:03,614
I am very good.
302
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,416
Eddie's just making up excuses,
303
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:06,851
probably to get out of CLC.
304
00:12:06,885 --> 00:12:08,552
I will double his workload.
305
00:12:08,587 --> 00:12:11,222
Oh, no. Got to run.
I see Mitch eyeing the croutons.
306
00:12:11,256 --> 00:12:12,323
Love you!
307
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:13,924
[Receiver clicks, dial tone]
308
00:12:13,959 --> 00:12:15,526
Aw, hell, no!
309
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,461
[Calypso music plays]
310
00:12:17,495 --> 00:12:19,496
[Laughs] Everybody having a good time?
311
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:20,631
[Laughter]
312
00:12:20,665 --> 00:12:25,502
If this jukebox uses 50 kilowatts of power
313
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,638
at 11 cents per kilowatt
314
00:12:27,672 --> 00:12:30,341
and a 3-minute song cos 25 cents,
315
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,543
how much money do we lose per song?
316
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:33,577
- 2 1/2 cents!
- 2 1/2...
317
00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:35,245
Aw, man!
318
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,749
And this is why I never
plug in the jukebox.
319
00:12:38,783 --> 00:12:42,052
Boys, welcome to your new CLC classroom.
320
00:12:42,087 --> 00:12:43,606
[To the tune of "Escape"
(The pina colada song)"]
321
00:12:43,626 --> 00:12:45,389
If you like mini garlic croutons
322
00:12:45,423 --> 00:12:47,598
A great snack on the...
323
00:12:47,618 --> 00:12:48,826
go
324
00:12:49,682 --> 00:12:50,394
Hi.
325
00:12:50,428 --> 00:12:52,062
Uh, may I get you some waters
326
00:12:52,096 --> 00:12:54,231
or perhaps a blooming onion?
327
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:03,083
Jessica,
what brings you to Cattleman's Ranch?
328
00:13:03,103 --> 00:13:06,664
I realize...
why not have the boys do CLC here?
329
00:13:06,684 --> 00:13:09,686
That way,
I can also help you at the restaurant.
330
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,122
Unless you don't want me here.
331
00:13:12,156 --> 00:13:14,291
Oh, no. Of course I want you here.
332
00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:17,437
Good! Boys, CLC, this booth.
333
00:13:18,171 --> 00:13:22,165
If Mitch steals two croutons per hour
334
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,534
and a 3-pound box costs $5,
335
00:13:24,569 --> 00:13:27,025
how many days till we are on the street?
336
00:13:27,045 --> 00:13:28,772
How many croutons per box?
337
00:13:28,806 --> 00:13:30,340
What are we paying in rent?
338
00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,742
How can I solve for "x"
when I don't know "z"?
339
00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:33,910
[Coughs] Nerd. [Pen clicks]
340
00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:36,780
"Student... Eddie Huang.
341
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:38,844
Infraction... slander."
342
00:13:38,864 --> 00:13:40,647
He's tough, but he's fair.
343
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:44,354
Nancy,
what did I tell you about extra napkins?
344
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:46,556
Also, why are we out of tea bags?
345
00:13:46,590 --> 00:13:47,724
I don't want you here.
346
00:13:47,758 --> 00:13:49,092
I knew it,
347
00:13:49,126 --> 00:13:51,995
as soon as you expressed
emotions with words.
348
00:13:52,029 --> 00:13:53,797
Why do you micromanage everything?
349
00:13:53,831 --> 00:13:57,066
Why am I the only one who
cares that we are losing money?
350
00:13:57,101 --> 00:13:58,501
I'm just looking out for our family.
351
00:13:58,536 --> 00:14:00,503
So am I, but I'm doing it in a nicer way.
352
00:14:00,538 --> 00:14:03,006
You should treat people the
way you want to be treated.
353
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,176
You think people are inherently good,
but they are not.
354
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:07,577
Woman: I'm sorry.
355
00:14:07,611 --> 00:14:09,720
- Could I just get my check, please?
- No, I'm sorry.
356
00:14:09,740 --> 00:14:11,948
My son got straight a's,
and I told my wife I love her.
357
00:14:11,982 --> 00:14:14,450
Please bear with us.
We're going through a rough patch.
358
00:14:14,485 --> 00:14:16,019
Look at that table. Look at that table.
359
00:14:16,053 --> 00:14:18,021
They are about to dine and dash.
360
00:14:18,055 --> 00:14:20,657
They've ordered the most
expensive items on the menu.
361
00:14:20,691 --> 00:14:22,825
They've been there a long time,
and they haven't paid.
362
00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:26,206
[Air hissing] And that one
guy is pumping up his sneaker.
363
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:27,830
I'll take care of this.
364
00:14:27,865 --> 00:14:29,866
How? By killing them with kindness,
365
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,235
showering them with napkins?
366
00:14:32,269 --> 00:14:34,504
No, you make them pay,
then you kick them out.
367
00:14:34,538 --> 00:14:37,203
I will handle this my way.
368
00:14:38,976 --> 00:14:40,109
Hello.
369
00:14:40,144 --> 00:14:41,611
We're not done eating yet.
370
00:14:41,645 --> 00:14:43,346
I know, I know. Look...
371
00:14:44,001 --> 00:14:46,182
I know what you guys are doing here.
372
00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:47,450
You're gonna dine and dash
373
00:14:47,484 --> 00:14:49,901
because you think it's
fun and nobody gets hurt.
374
00:14:50,174 --> 00:14:52,355
But this is a family business.
375
00:14:52,389 --> 00:14:54,390
It's not run by some big corporation.
376
00:14:54,425 --> 00:14:56,125
I thought this was a Golden Saddle.
377
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,461
It's a totally different restaurant!
378
00:14:58,495 --> 00:14:59,929
The bears aren't even the same color.
379
00:14:59,963 --> 00:15:02,298
Look, if you guys run out on this check,
380
00:15:02,332 --> 00:15:04,500
it's gonna come out of our pocket...
381
00:15:04,535 --> 00:15:07,236
Me, my wife, and my three boys.
382
00:15:07,271 --> 00:15:09,005
You guys were really going
for a little girl, huh?
383
00:15:09,039 --> 00:15:10,973
Don't get me started.
We were gonna name her Emily.
384
00:15:11,008 --> 00:15:12,308
That's sweet. Aww.
385
00:15:12,342 --> 00:15:13,376
Yeah.
386
00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:16,579
Look, the point is, we're not rich.
387
00:15:16,613 --> 00:15:19,582
In fact,
we're struggling just to break even.
388
00:15:19,616 --> 00:15:22,585
So if you guys order more
than you can pay for,
389
00:15:22,619 --> 00:15:24,753
we can work something out.
390
00:15:26,071 --> 00:15:27,723
Yeah, okay. I... we're sorry.
391
00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:28,991
We're just being stupid.
392
00:15:29,026 --> 00:15:31,933
And we can cover it.
I got my dad's credit card.
393
00:15:32,381 --> 00:15:35,390
Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. [Chuckles]
394
00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:41,103
I took care of it.
395
00:15:41,138 --> 00:15:43,539
I talked to them the way that
I would want to be talked to,
396
00:15:43,573 --> 00:15:44,707
and they got it.
397
00:15:44,741 --> 00:15:46,142
People are good.
398
00:15:46,176 --> 00:15:48,311
Are you sure about that?
399
00:15:58,526 --> 00:16:00,503
I'll be in my office.
400
00:16:03,945 --> 00:16:05,461
Mitch: Excuse me, Mrs. Huang?
401
00:16:05,495 --> 00:16:06,896
Um, we were just talking,
402
00:16:06,930 --> 00:16:08,964
and we'd like to cover their check.
403
00:16:08,999 --> 00:16:10,699
What?
404
00:16:10,734 --> 00:16:11,834
The table that ran out...
405
00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:13,636
we want to chip in and pay their bill.
406
00:16:13,670 --> 00:16:15,738
Yeah, Louis would do it for us.
407
00:16:15,772 --> 00:16:17,573
I mean, he's a great boss.
408
00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:21,944
Mom, Eddie dined and dashed on CLC.
409
00:16:21,978 --> 00:16:25,381
But don't worry.
I wrote him another infraction.
410
00:16:25,415 --> 00:16:29,251
[Cypress Hill's
"Insane in the membrane" plays]
411
00:16:29,286 --> 00:16:31,787
[Horn honks]
412
00:16:31,822 --> 00:16:33,222
Oh, crap!
413
00:16:33,256 --> 00:16:34,957
I will get to you later!
414
00:16:39,462 --> 00:16:41,997
"Run out on this bill,
it comes out of our pocket." [Laughs]
415
00:16:42,032 --> 00:16:43,732
[Tires screech, both grunt]
416
00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:44,767
Hey.
417
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,544
[Grunts]
418
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,446
Oh!
419
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,847
Emery, go get that onion.
420
00:16:58,882 --> 00:17:00,849
I'm going to cook dinner with it tonight.
421
00:17:00,884 --> 00:17:03,519
Time me.
422
00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:08,590
- You hit us with your car.
- You hit my car with your bodies.
423
00:17:09,258 --> 00:17:10,926
My husband is a good man.
424
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,861
He believes in the good of people.
425
00:17:12,896 --> 00:17:14,096
I don't.
426
00:17:14,130 --> 00:17:16,665
But all his employees
respect and admire him,
427
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,400
which, uh, makes you start to wonder.
428
00:17:18,435 --> 00:17:19,435
My body feels cold.
429
00:17:19,469 --> 00:17:21,036
I-I-it's shutting down.
430
00:17:21,071 --> 00:17:22,604
My point is,
431
00:17:22,639 --> 00:17:25,974
I don't want my husband to
lose his faith in people.
432
00:17:26,009 --> 00:17:27,943
Okay, okay. W-we'll pay our check.
433
00:17:27,977 --> 00:17:30,646
You are going to do a lot more than that.
434
00:17:31,587 --> 00:17:34,283
Emery: I don't know why, but it's warm!
435
00:17:34,317 --> 00:17:36,485
After we left,
we thought about what you said,
436
00:17:36,519 --> 00:17:37,753
and we realized you were right.
437
00:17:37,787 --> 00:17:39,154
Yeah, what we did was wrong.
438
00:17:39,189 --> 00:17:41,824
- Really?
- Yes.
439
00:17:42,892 --> 00:17:45,160
You were right to see the good in us.
440
00:17:47,664 --> 00:17:49,398
Did you have something to do with this?
441
00:17:49,432 --> 00:17:52,034
What? Me? No.
442
00:17:52,068 --> 00:17:54,603
Okay, well, I'm gonna go make dinner now...
443
00:17:54,637 --> 00:17:56,471
sliced beef with peppers and onions,
444
00:17:56,506 --> 00:17:58,671
maybe some rice, also.
445
00:17:58,691 --> 00:18:00,375
Love you!
446
00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:03,546
[Ice Cube's "It was a good day" plays]
447
00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:19,761
I missed all the fun.
448
00:18:19,796 --> 00:18:21,380
Hmm.
449
00:18:21,931 --> 00:18:23,498
Well, you know,
450
00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:25,567
most moms don't care
enough about their kids
451
00:18:25,601 --> 00:18:27,269
to tutor them for two hours a day.
452
00:18:27,303 --> 00:18:28,704
It was three hours.
453
00:18:28,738 --> 00:18:30,272
Three hours?!
454
00:18:30,306 --> 00:18:32,541
My God, I [Scoffs]
455
00:18:32,575 --> 00:18:33,775
[Sighs]
456
00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:37,479
Look, I'm not gonna lie. Your mom is tough.
457
00:18:38,363 --> 00:18:41,216
And she's never gonna let
up on you or any of us,
458
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,652
but it's because she cares.
459
00:18:44,854 --> 00:18:46,755
Yeah.
460
00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:49,658
I got to go
'cause I got me a drop-top
461
00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:51,159
And if I hit the switch
462
00:18:51,194 --> 00:18:53,395
I can make the ass drop
463
00:18:53,429 --> 00:18:55,545
Had to stop at a red light
464
00:18:55,565 --> 00:18:57,699
You think you can beat your old man?
465
00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:59,401
Dad, you serve people all day.
466
00:18:59,435 --> 00:19:00,702
You ready to get served?
467
00:19:00,736 --> 00:19:02,470
[Laughs] Wait, I almost forgot.
468
00:19:03,706 --> 00:19:05,307
That felt good.
469
00:19:05,341 --> 00:19:07,576
Called up the homies,
and I'm asking y'all
470
00:19:07,610 --> 00:19:10,645
Which park are y'all
playing basketball?
471
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,580
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Aw! Ooh, close.
472
00:19:13,356 --> 00:19:15,450
Ooh! Nice, nice!
473
00:19:15,484 --> 00:19:16,685
Close.
474
00:19:16,719 --> 00:19:19,054
Freaking brothers
every way like M.J.
475
00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:21,089
I can't believe
today was a good day
476
00:19:21,123 --> 00:19:22,223
Mom said we can play.
477
00:19:22,258 --> 00:19:23,425
Nobody block my shots.
478
00:19:23,459 --> 00:19:25,960
Louis: Come on, come on.
479
00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:27,824
Today was a good day
480
00:19:28,608 --> 00:19:30,361
Eddi, pass.
481
00:19:31,916 --> 00:19:33,068
Oh, hey.
482
00:19:33,102 --> 00:19:35,036
I was glad everything
had worked out
483
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,838
- Is that your dad?
- Yeah.
484
00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:39,507
Seems like a cool guy.
485
00:19:39,542 --> 00:19:41,710
Ooh! All day!
486
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:42,877
You want to play?
487
00:19:42,912 --> 00:19:45,713
Well, I was just gonna flip
through sports games on TV
488
00:19:45,748 --> 00:19:48,616
and look for my dad in the crowds,
but I guess I can wait.
489
00:19:48,651 --> 00:19:49,751
Yeah, come on.
490
00:19:49,785 --> 00:19:52,086
I got to say it was a good day
491
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,856
That's how it was in my family.
492
00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:56,457
We didn't do sappy "I love yous."
493
00:19:56,492 --> 00:19:57,592
We didn't have to.
494
00:19:57,626 --> 00:19:59,941
We just showed it.
495
00:19:59,961 --> 00:20:04,265
Looks like we'll be going
for academic scholarships.
496
00:20:05,958 --> 00:20:09,506
And then an alligator
sticker plus a cloud sticker
497
00:20:09,526 --> 00:20:12,246
equals an alligator
with sunglasses sticker.
498
00:20:12,266 --> 00:20:13,627
All right. So...
499
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,679
Unless a cloud sticker is a rain cloud
500
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:18,738
in which case it reverts
back to a bear and a hat.
501
00:20:19,111 --> 00:20:20,703
Oh right. So...
502
00:20:20,723 --> 00:20:22,394
Unless the bear's hat is black.
503
00:20:22,414 --> 00:20:24,742
which indicates a very
high level of effort.
504
00:20:24,762 --> 00:20:25,600
So...
505
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:28,696
Which is than rewarded by a plus/minus
participatory rainbow
506
00:20:28,716 --> 00:20:31,796
of which there are three intensity hues.
507
00:20:32,304 --> 00:20:34,572
_
508
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:37,994
What'd your mom say?
509
00:20:38,014 --> 00:20:40,173
She gave you an alligator
with sunglasses.
510
00:20:41,297 --> 00:20:42,819
And to you...
511
00:20:44,023 --> 00:20:46,251
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
512
00:20:46,301 --> 00:20:50,851
Repair and Synchronization by
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