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Previously on "Faking It"...
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Karma and Amy will make up, and soon,
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00:00:02,789 --> 00:00:04,322
you'll be back to being number two.
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00:00:04,324 --> 00:00:06,357
Karma and I aren't
really friends anymore.
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00:00:06,359 --> 00:00:08,493
It was a thing, but
it's so not a big deal.
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We're both single
again. Maybe it's our time.
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Real friends are there for you
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when you need them, no matter what.
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- Have you seen Karma?
- She bolted a while back.
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You want to grab coffee sometime?
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00:00:22,107 --> 00:00:23,407
And I wrote this one to you
12
00:00:23,409 --> 00:00:24,909
after the Fourth of July Lifeguard Luau.
13
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I was really missing you that night.
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I'm sorry, is it weird
that I wrote you letters
15
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all summer that I didn't send?
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I love that you never
lost hope that we'd make up.
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00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:36,821
To be honest, I kind of have
18
00:00:36,823 --> 00:00:39,357
like 50 angsty
emails in my drafts folder
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that I wrote you this summer.
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Really?
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I'm just as dorky as you are.
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Just more environmentally-conscious.
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Well, I can't wait to
binge-read them all.
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Seriously, Amy, my
dad's brush with death
25
00:00:50,270 --> 00:00:51,869
just made me realize I need to tell
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00:00:51,871 --> 00:00:53,971
my friends and
family what they mean to me.
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00:00:53,973 --> 00:00:56,574
There's only one
person in my life who is both.
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- That's you.
- Oh.
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I feel the same way.
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How touching.
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Here we go again.
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Lauren...
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I'll leave you two lovebirds alone.
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What's her problem?
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Daddy, there is no
way I'm driving to Dallas
36
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,994
to stay in that pizza box
graveyard of an apartment.
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You are coming to Austin this weekend,
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and I'm cleaning you up.
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You look like the Unabomber.
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Work's just been busy, Showpony.
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- You know, I...
- Mm-hmm.
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00:01:23,736 --> 00:01:25,202
We'll discuss Friday.
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In your five-star hotel
room, over room service.
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Can I help you?
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Listen, I know that I have been
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non-stop Karma for the past few days,
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and we haven't
gotten to hang out, but...
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Sorry to interrupt,
girls. Amy, can I borrow these?
49
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I need to project a more youthful image
50
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if I'm gonna get any right
swipes on Hitcher.
51
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I'm competing with 22-year-olds
with daddy complexes.
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00:01:46,092 --> 00:01:48,559
Maybe you should
just give up and get fat.
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I've thought about it,
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but I still believe in romance.
55
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And it only takes one
date to meet Mr. Right.
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- Or Mrs. Right.
- Whatever. Can I?
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- Yes.
- Thank you.
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00:02:01,908 --> 00:02:03,107
Where was I?
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00:02:03,109 --> 00:02:05,576
You were implying
that I'm jealous of Karma.
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00:02:05,578 --> 00:02:06,911
Which I'm not.
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00:02:06,913 --> 00:02:08,579
I'm just frustrated that you're going
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00:02:08,581 --> 00:02:10,748
back down her rabbit hole.
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Mm! You know what I mean.
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[groans] That's not what happened!
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Her dad's heart attack made us realize
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that we really need each other.
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I get it. Best friends forever.
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[sighs] But I need you too.
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Karma's my best friend,
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but you're my sister.
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Former sister.
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For now. You never know.
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My mom has been known to recycle an ex.
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Her love life is
tragic, but sustainable.
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Amy, that's brilliant.
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I thought it was witty.
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We should get our parents back together.
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Yeah. I'm brilliant.
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Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
- www.Addic7ed.com -
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I really like you.
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Oh, my God, why did I say that?
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And why is my voice getting so high?
84
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I'm really ruining this moment.
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I really like you too.
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00:03:02,535 --> 00:03:04,402
You're funny, and you're smart,
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00:03:04,404 --> 00:03:05,903
and you care about people.
88
00:03:05,905 --> 00:03:07,505
You're proud to be Jewish.
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00:03:07,507 --> 00:03:09,140
You're beautiful, and
you don't even know it.
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If that was a line to
get me to sleep with you,
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it worked.
92
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I want to take this to the next level.
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- Like, soon.
- Rachel? Order up!
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Um, but not right now,
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because I really
don't want to get fired.
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[flamenco music]
97
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[chuckles]
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- Muffin? Can we talk to you?
- Sure.
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I was just planning our weekend
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of heart-healthy family fun.
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Aw.
102
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Would playing
"Operation" hit too close to home?
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Wha... is everything okay?
104
00:03:36,169 --> 00:03:37,735
- Oh!
- Oh, honey!
105
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Don't worry, honey. Doc
says I'm doing great.
106
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Yeah, we just, uh,
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we have something we need to share.
108
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And I want to hear
it. Because I love you.
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Have I told you that lately?
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- Oh.
- We love you too, honeybee.
111
00:03:48,214 --> 00:03:51,082
But, we've been keeping a secret.
112
00:03:51,084 --> 00:03:53,918
And I think the stress
of not living our truth
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took a toll on your father's heart.
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We were gonna wait until you graduated
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and moved out to tell
you, but we've decided
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we need to live for the now.
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I completely agree. What is it?
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Both: We're poly.
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Poly...
120
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Who?
121
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Oh, polyamorous, sweetheart.
122
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I means we want to date other people.
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Both: Together.
124
00:04:19,679 --> 00:04:22,947
Well, currently one
person in particular.
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- We're dating a woman.
- Mm.
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Named Diane.
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- Diane.
- Diane.
128
00:04:30,189 --> 00:04:33,023
But don't you worry,
we're not going to introduce you
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00:04:33,025 --> 00:04:34,992
to Diane until you're ready.
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00:04:34,994 --> 00:04:36,927
We understand it might take
a while for you to be okay...
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I'm okay with it!
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- Both: You are?
- Yeah.
133
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I mean, if this Diane
person makes your heart happy,
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then you have my blessing.
135
00:04:46,706 --> 00:04:49,340
- All three of you.
- Oh, my.
136
00:04:49,342 --> 00:04:51,542
Diane sounds really nice.
137
00:04:51,544 --> 00:04:53,944
Diane. Diane. Diane.
138
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And I don't know why
I keep saying "Diane."
139
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- [laughter]
- Well, I am overjoyed.
140
00:04:58,184 --> 00:05:00,351
So, do you want to meet her soon, then?
141
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[gasps] What about tonight?
142
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Ah!
143
00:05:03,756 --> 00:05:07,725
Oh, I would love to meet Diane,
144
00:05:07,727 --> 00:05:09,894
but, um... oh, no!
145
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I... I just promised
Amy I would hang with her.
146
00:05:12,698 --> 00:05:14,498
- Oh.
- In fact, I'm late.
147
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So I, uh, have to go.
148
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Um, but, I love you both.
149
00:05:22,741 --> 00:05:25,643
Well, I think we nailed that.
150
00:05:25,645 --> 00:05:26,877
Oh.
151
00:05:26,879 --> 00:05:28,479
Is this top too over-the-top?
152
00:05:28,481 --> 00:05:30,147
I'm trying it out for Frenemy Frenzy.
153
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A new band name I'm workshopping.
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The shirt is great.
155
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The band name? Terrible.
156
00:05:36,189 --> 00:05:37,788
How are things with Rachel?
157
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Seems like you were just waiting
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for Karma to give you another chance.
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Everything happens for a reason.
160
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I would have loved for
Karma and me to be together,
161
00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:46,397
but it just wasn't God's plan.
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00:05:46,399 --> 00:05:48,899
Wait, so God gave
Karma's dad a heart attack
163
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so you'd end up with Rachel?
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I don't know, maybe God just wanted
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me to have a fresh start.
166
00:05:53,673 --> 00:05:54,972
But what if she had shown up?
167
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Aren't you just a little bit curious?
168
00:05:56,108 --> 00:05:57,474
No, I can't be curious.
169
00:05:57,476 --> 00:06:00,077
I'm with Rachel now. We're "bashert."
170
00:06:00,079 --> 00:06:03,447
That's Hebrew for we're "meant to be."
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00:06:03,449 --> 00:06:04,849
In fact, Shane, tonight,
172
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we're taking things to the next level.
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We're gonna have sex.
174
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[spits]
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Oh! Uh, Rabbi Josh.
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00:06:11,357 --> 00:06:13,157
- Hi, um, you okay?
- Oh, yeah.
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00:06:13,159 --> 00:06:15,693
I'm still mastering the art
of walking and drinking, but...
178
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[nervous laughter]
179
00:06:16,929 --> 00:06:18,729
How is my favorite Bar Mitzvah student?
180
00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:20,898
And who is this?
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Oh, um, Rabbi Josh? This
is... this is Shane.
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00:06:25,104 --> 00:06:28,405
Shalom, and mazel, and all that jazz.
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00:06:28,407 --> 00:06:32,209
Hah, "all that jazz."
I love that. Love that.
184
00:06:32,211 --> 00:06:34,411
It's a real pleasure to meet you, Shane.
185
00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:36,947
So what you maybe overheard, um...
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00:06:36,949 --> 00:06:39,483
- I was quoting a TV show...
- Relax.
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00:06:39,485 --> 00:06:41,252
I'm the cool Rabbi, remember?
188
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Know what, I want you boys to come over
189
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to my place tonight for Shabbat dinner.
190
00:06:44,924 --> 00:06:46,056
We'd love to.
191
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In fact, we'll bring the challah.
192
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- Holla!
- Holla!
193
00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:51,028
[laughter]
194
00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:53,864
Yeah, okay, I will see
you two later tonight.
195
00:06:53,866 --> 00:06:55,666
- See you.
- Okay.
196
00:06:55,668 --> 00:06:58,068
Why are you suddenly so
eager to have dinner with my Rabbi?
197
00:06:58,070 --> 00:07:00,971
Because the band
formerly known as Frenemy Frenzy
198
00:07:00,973 --> 00:07:03,307
is looking to break
into the Bar Mitzvah circuit.
199
00:07:03,309 --> 00:07:05,943
And Rabbi Josh might just be our in.
200
00:07:05,945 --> 00:07:08,012
Wait, wait, wait. What
about your sex date?
201
00:07:08,014 --> 00:07:10,047
Well, I'm not meeting
up with Rachel until later.
202
00:07:10,049 --> 00:07:11,515
We can just rush through Shabbat.
203
00:07:11,517 --> 00:07:13,584
And get straight to dessert.
204
00:07:13,586 --> 00:07:14,752
- Oh!
- Please stop.
205
00:07:14,754 --> 00:07:16,820
I work here.
206
00:07:16,822 --> 00:07:19,056
My mom fell hook, line, and sinker
207
00:07:19,058 --> 00:07:21,091
for the fake profile we created.
208
00:07:21,093 --> 00:07:23,994
Mr. Reginald Write, Esq.,
209
00:07:23,996 --> 00:07:26,363
is about to ask her out on a romantic
210
00:07:26,365 --> 00:07:29,266
dancing date to the
Austin SwingFest tonight.
211
00:07:29,268 --> 00:07:31,368
Meanwhile, I'll drag Daddy there too.
212
00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:34,705
A little Lindy Hop is
sure to rebuild his mojo.
213
00:07:34,707 --> 00:07:36,106
What? Superior dancing ability
214
00:07:36,108 --> 00:07:37,808
is a part of the Cooper bloodline.
215
00:07:37,810 --> 00:07:39,243
Right, okay, so,
216
00:07:39,245 --> 00:07:41,078
when Mr. Wright stands Farrah up,
217
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,646
she'll be ready to give up on men...
218
00:07:42,648 --> 00:07:44,114
Oh, like mother, like daughter.
219
00:07:44,116 --> 00:07:45,716
Very funny... at that moment,
220
00:07:45,718 --> 00:07:47,851
I'll swoop in, bring her inside,
221
00:07:47,853 --> 00:07:50,487
she'll see a new-and-improved Bruce...
222
00:07:50,489 --> 00:07:53,490
And the two of them will fall
for each other all over again.
223
00:07:53,492 --> 00:07:55,693
And more importantly,
we'll be sisters again.
224
00:07:55,695 --> 00:07:58,562
Two tween Lindsay
Lohans ain't got nothing on us.
225
00:07:58,564 --> 00:08:01,432
- Oh, no.
- Mm-mm.
226
00:08:01,434 --> 00:08:02,399
[phone dings]
227
00:08:02,401 --> 00:08:04,468
Oh! Yes!
228
00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,870
The catfish took the bait.
229
00:08:06,872 --> 00:08:08,105
This challah is heavy.
230
00:08:08,107 --> 00:08:09,606
Did you really need
to get the extra large?
231
00:08:09,608 --> 00:08:11,842
Did you have to stop for
a 24-pack of condoms?
232
00:08:11,844 --> 00:08:15,546
[chuckles] Hey, you remember Boy Scouts.
233
00:08:15,548 --> 00:08:17,481
Always be prepared.
234
00:08:17,483 --> 00:08:20,784
I'm going straight from
this dinner to my sex date with...
235
00:08:20,786 --> 00:08:21,819
Rachel?
236
00:08:21,821 --> 00:08:23,187
Liam?
237
00:08:23,189 --> 00:08:24,755
You two have met?
238
00:08:24,757 --> 00:08:27,324
How do you know my daughter?
239
00:08:27,326 --> 00:08:29,793
- Diane?
- It's true.
240
00:08:29,795 --> 00:08:34,131
My parents are in a
thruple with a woman named Diane.
241
00:08:34,133 --> 00:08:36,000
And before you say anything, yes,
242
00:08:36,002 --> 00:08:37,835
I do recognize the
irony of this situation
243
00:08:37,837 --> 00:08:40,170
happening to a girl who's
had two almost-threesomes.
244
00:08:40,172 --> 00:08:43,507
[sighs] Have you told
them how you feel about it?
245
00:08:43,509 --> 00:08:45,642
I can't tell my parents I'm horrified.
246
00:08:45,644 --> 00:08:49,079
My dad had a heart attack because
he kept this from me.
247
00:08:49,081 --> 00:08:51,515
This is a... a new one.
248
00:08:51,517 --> 00:08:52,850
[sighs]
249
00:08:52,852 --> 00:08:54,251
I can't stay home tonight.
250
00:08:54,253 --> 00:08:56,353
I know you're gonna be
busy parent-trapping,
251
00:08:56,355 --> 00:08:58,789
but can I please tag along?
252
00:08:58,791 --> 00:09:01,492
I can help.
253
00:09:02,761 --> 00:09:05,629
- She can help!
- I am great at schemes.
254
00:09:05,631 --> 00:09:08,766
And it's always nice to
have an extra lookout on deck.
255
00:09:08,768 --> 00:09:10,134
[sighs] Fine.
256
00:09:10,136 --> 00:09:11,769
But you'd better not bring
any drama tonight.
257
00:09:11,771 --> 00:09:12,970
The stakes are too high.
258
00:09:12,972 --> 00:09:14,838
Don't worry. I would never.
259
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,206
Right. Okay.
260
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,641
I got to go build up Daddy's confidence.
261
00:09:17,643 --> 00:09:19,376
When I give you the
signal, dump your mother.
262
00:09:19,378 --> 00:09:22,046
- I'm on it, Cooper.
- Drama?
263
00:09:22,048 --> 00:09:25,616
- I am not Drama.
- Karma?
264
00:09:26,951 --> 00:09:28,385
Molly. Lucas.
265
00:09:28,387 --> 00:09:30,120
What are you guys doing at SwingFest?
266
00:09:30,122 --> 00:09:34,091
We sort of misunderstood
what kind of SwingFest this was.
267
00:09:34,093 --> 00:09:36,693
Well, you said you
can't wait to meet her,
268
00:09:36,695 --> 00:09:38,762
and I guess the fates agree.
269
00:09:38,764 --> 00:09:41,932
Honey, this is Diane.
270
00:09:41,934 --> 00:09:44,368
- Karma.
- Oh.
271
00:09:44,370 --> 00:09:46,603
Yay. Diane.
272
00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:48,038
[forced laughter]
273
00:09:49,499 --> 00:09:52,009
You work together? Such a coincidence!
274
00:09:52,011 --> 00:09:53,377
And you two never realized
the connection?
275
00:09:53,379 --> 00:09:55,213
- No, it...
- Together: Never came up.
276
00:09:55,215 --> 00:09:56,447
Oh.
277
00:09:56,449 --> 00:09:59,050
Oh, Shane, since this
is your first Shabbat,
278
00:09:59,052 --> 00:10:01,419
my Becca here, she
can walk you through it.
279
00:10:01,421 --> 00:10:05,123
She is the star pupil of
my Bat Mitzvah class.
280
00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:07,492
Anything for you, Daddy.
281
00:10:07,494 --> 00:10:09,794
I'm gonna check on the brisket.
282
00:10:09,796 --> 00:10:11,529
You're taking Bar Mitzvah classes?
283
00:10:11,531 --> 00:10:13,030
Your dad's a Rabbi?
284
00:10:13,032 --> 00:10:15,399
Becca, hey, so,
285
00:10:15,401 --> 00:10:17,568
I'm the front man of this hot new band.
286
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:19,537
How would you like to be a trendsetter?
287
00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:22,306
Your Bat Mitzvah could
premiere the next big thing
288
00:10:22,308 --> 00:10:23,941
in glam rock new wave pop.
289
00:10:23,943 --> 00:10:25,910
My BFF Zannie booked Jessie J.
290
00:10:25,912 --> 00:10:27,545
What's so special about you?
291
00:10:27,547 --> 00:10:28,679
Oh, just you wait.
292
00:10:28,681 --> 00:10:29,981
By the end of this dinner,
293
00:10:29,983 --> 00:10:31,682
you're gonna be obsessed with me.
294
00:10:31,684 --> 00:10:33,284
I was nervous to tell you.
295
00:10:33,286 --> 00:10:35,386
Plus, it's me and a
bunch of 12-year-olds.
296
00:10:35,388 --> 00:10:37,755
Aw, I think that's cute.
297
00:10:37,757 --> 00:10:39,323
And I didn't tell you about my dad
298
00:10:39,325 --> 00:10:42,360
because guys
sometimes put me on a pedestal.
299
00:10:42,362 --> 00:10:44,662
Like, they don't want to
defile the Rabbi's daughter.
300
00:10:44,664 --> 00:10:46,564
And sometimes, a girl could
use a good defiling.
301
00:10:46,566 --> 00:10:49,967
I promise, I'm not
gonna put you on a pedestal.
302
00:10:49,969 --> 00:10:52,403
Unless that's where you
want to be defiled.
303
00:10:52,405 --> 00:10:54,739
- So, tonight's still on?
- Yeah, of course.
304
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,107
I just don't think we
should tell your dad
305
00:10:56,109 --> 00:10:57,542
that we're dating just yet.
306
00:10:57,544 --> 00:10:58,776
What? Liam!
307
00:10:58,778 --> 00:11:00,344
I already know you guys are dating.
308
00:11:00,346 --> 00:11:02,180
- And I think it's great.
- You do?
309
00:11:02,182 --> 00:11:04,048
I'm the cool Rabbi.
310
00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:07,051
[chuckles]
311
00:11:07,053 --> 00:11:08,586
Yeah, yeah.
312
00:11:08,588 --> 00:11:09,887
Let's do this.
313
00:11:09,889 --> 00:11:12,890
[swing music]
314
00:11:12,892 --> 00:11:15,629
315
00:11:28,707 --> 00:11:30,942
Ugh, I got to stall Farrah.
316
00:11:30,944 --> 00:11:32,835
317
00:11:32,836 --> 00:11:33,590
_
318
00:11:33,591 --> 00:11:36,085
_
319
00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:39,272
_
320
00:11:40,018 --> 00:11:41,452
Excuse me. Karma?
321
00:11:41,454 --> 00:11:42,620
Hi.
322
00:11:42,622 --> 00:11:43,921
And you must be Amy.
323
00:11:43,923 --> 00:11:46,357
Uh, I was hoping to get
some one-on-one time with you,
324
00:11:46,359 --> 00:11:49,493
but Molly and Lucas told me
how inseparable you two are,
325
00:11:49,495 --> 00:11:51,095
and I guess I know more than anyone
326
00:11:51,097 --> 00:11:53,097
that three's company, am I right?
327
00:11:53,099 --> 00:11:55,266
Can I just say, I am in awe
328
00:11:55,268 --> 00:11:57,535
of your grace and your maturity.
329
00:11:57,537 --> 00:11:59,337
But I don't know why I'm so surprised.
330
00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:02,340
My two favorite people made you.
331
00:12:02,342 --> 00:12:04,942
So, some things you
should know about me.
332
00:12:04,944 --> 00:12:08,446
I am a Pisces. Obviously.
333
00:12:08,448 --> 00:12:11,115
Rachel, will you begin the prayer?
334
00:12:11,117 --> 00:12:14,118
[peaceful music]
335
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,444
336
00:12:19,425 --> 00:12:20,825
[choral music]
337
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,828
[speaking Hebrew]
338
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:24,330
339
00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:33,504
- Liam?
- [gasps]
340
00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:34,972
Don't worry, we won't keep you late.
341
00:12:34,974 --> 00:12:36,874
I'm sure you guys have plans.
342
00:12:36,876 --> 00:12:38,509
No! No rush at all.
343
00:12:38,511 --> 00:12:40,912
In fact, I have a lot of very specific
344
00:12:40,914 --> 00:12:42,513
questions about Judaism, so,
345
00:12:42,515 --> 00:12:45,783
spare no detail, 'cause
we have all night.
346
00:12:45,785 --> 00:12:47,585
Oh. Really?
347
00:12:47,587 --> 00:12:49,387
No plans later, Liam?
348
00:12:49,389 --> 00:12:51,956
And, I was the first kid to come out
349
00:12:51,958 --> 00:12:53,324
in my elementary school.
350
00:12:53,326 --> 00:12:55,092
Fourth grade. Trust me.
351
00:12:55,094 --> 00:12:56,827
I've always been on the cutting edge.
352
00:12:56,829 --> 00:12:58,229
You're gay. Big whoop.
353
00:12:58,231 --> 00:13:00,031
Does it look like I need a makeover?
354
00:13:00,033 --> 00:13:02,199
My BFF Zannie came out as pansexual
355
00:13:02,201 --> 00:13:04,235
and genderqueer in second grade.
356
00:13:04,237 --> 00:13:06,037
Let me guess, you started a band
357
00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:08,272
in a desperate attempt
to cling onto relevancy?
358
00:13:08,274 --> 00:13:11,842
Well, honey, it ain't working.
359
00:13:11,844 --> 00:13:13,477
[dry chuckle]
360
00:13:14,346 --> 00:13:17,548
[swing music]
361
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:19,784
362
00:13:19,786 --> 00:13:21,786
[applause]
363
00:13:21,788 --> 00:13:24,055
Well, I have to admit. I
do feel like a new man.
364
00:13:24,057 --> 00:13:25,790
Then my work here is almost done.
365
00:13:25,792 --> 00:13:29,360
Okay, I'm obsessed with
this dad-daughter bonding thing.
366
00:13:29,362 --> 00:13:31,228
And a single dad I'm guessing?
367
00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,030
- I don't see a ring.
- Uh, well, yeah.
368
00:13:33,032 --> 00:13:34,231
You guessed correct, yeah.
369
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,567
[laughter]
370
00:13:36,569 --> 00:13:38,336
Okay, well if you're tired,
371
00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:39,737
you need a break,
honey, I can always cut in.
372
00:13:39,739 --> 00:13:42,139
Sorry, no breaks... this is a non-stop
373
00:13:42,141 --> 00:13:45,943
daddy-daughter dancing date.
374
00:13:45,945 --> 00:13:47,445
Oh, muffin.
375
00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:50,514
We're so glad that you and
Diane are hitting it off.
376
00:13:50,516 --> 00:13:53,651
Because, we're officially asking her...
377
00:13:53,653 --> 00:13:55,453
- To be our girlfriend, yes.
- [screams]
378
00:13:55,455 --> 00:13:57,254
Tonight, after the SwingFest.
379
00:13:57,256 --> 00:13:59,490
Look at us D-T-R-ing like the kids do.
380
00:13:59,492 --> 00:14:00,624
[laughter]
381
00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:01,926
Ashcrofts!
382
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:04,362
Come dance with me!
383
00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:07,598
[rockabilly music]
384
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,773
385
00:14:15,575 --> 00:14:18,009
We have to break them up. Tonight.
386
00:14:18,011 --> 00:14:20,177
Yeah, we really do.
387
00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:23,247
388
00:14:24,744 --> 00:14:28,112
And, so Liam, that
is absolutely everything
389
00:14:28,114 --> 00:14:30,248
that happens at a bris.
390
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,249
You have any other questions?
391
00:14:31,251 --> 00:14:32,784
- Dad?
- Hmm?
392
00:14:32,786 --> 00:14:34,552
Um, Liam was saying
393
00:14:34,554 --> 00:14:37,188
that he's really
struggling with his Torah portion.
394
00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:39,757
Do you think it would be
okay if we went up to my room
395
00:14:39,759 --> 00:14:42,026
so he could practice his Hebrew tongue?
396
00:14:42,028 --> 00:14:43,494
Oh, no. That's not necessary.
397
00:14:43,496 --> 00:14:44,929
That is a great idea.
398
00:14:44,931 --> 00:14:47,498
Rachel is an amazing tutor.
399
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,666
You're doing it.
400
00:14:48,668 --> 00:14:50,068
You're putting off our defiling.
401
00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:52,570
I admit it... I
thought I could see past it,
402
00:14:52,572 --> 00:14:54,005
but you're Rabbi Josh's daughter,
403
00:14:54,007 --> 00:14:57,075
and every time I look
at you, I see an angel.
404
00:14:57,077 --> 00:14:58,610
Jews don't even do angels.
405
00:14:58,612 --> 00:15:00,178
You have a lot to learn about Judaism.
406
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:03,081
We don't have shame
around sex. Tell him, Dad.
407
00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:04,749
Oh, yep. Rachel is exactly right.
408
00:15:04,751 --> 00:15:06,784
You know, most religions, if
you have sex outside of marriage,
409
00:15:06,786 --> 00:15:08,419
well then you go straight
to hell, but Jews,
410
00:15:08,421 --> 00:15:11,155
we don't have a hell, so it's all good.
411
00:15:11,157 --> 00:15:14,726
As long as you're
safe, you have my blessing.
412
00:15:14,728 --> 00:15:17,795
Dad, you're the best.
413
00:15:19,665 --> 00:15:23,368
You're right. I'm not special.
414
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:25,336
I used to be.
415
00:15:25,338 --> 00:15:27,105
But now it's intersex people,
416
00:15:27,107 --> 00:15:28,906
trans folk,
417
00:15:28,908 --> 00:15:33,077
pansexual genderqueers... who am I?
418
00:15:33,079 --> 00:15:34,912
You're nobody.
419
00:15:34,914 --> 00:15:37,081
So now that we're
agreed, I can represent you.
420
00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:38,549
I saw you play at the Brew-&-Chew.
421
00:15:38,551 --> 00:15:41,319
You're decent, but once
you play at my Bat Mitzvah,
422
00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:43,321
all of my friends will demand you too.
423
00:15:43,323 --> 00:15:44,856
Of course, I'll be taking a 40% cut,
424
00:15:44,858 --> 00:15:47,225
have set list
approval, and let's be real.
425
00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:50,395
I will take that makeover.
426
00:15:52,031 --> 00:15:53,131
[swing music]
427
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:55,500
You need a breather, Showpony?
428
00:15:55,502 --> 00:15:58,703
No! I love this song.
429
00:15:58,705 --> 00:16:01,376
430
00:16:12,251 --> 00:16:13,351
What are we looking for, anyway?
431
00:16:13,353 --> 00:16:14,485
Anything of Diane's that could
432
00:16:14,487 --> 00:16:15,887
be a deal breaker to my parents.
433
00:16:15,889 --> 00:16:18,623
We want a "Trump" bumper sticker,
434
00:16:18,625 --> 00:16:20,892
proof that she's an
undercover DEA Agent,
435
00:16:20,894 --> 00:16:22,226
any smoking gun.
436
00:16:22,228 --> 00:16:24,095
[gasps]
437
00:16:24,097 --> 00:16:25,863
Or, actual smokes.
438
00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:27,131
My parents hate smoking.
439
00:16:27,133 --> 00:16:29,400
Karma, my necklace got
caught in the stick shift.
440
00:16:29,402 --> 00:16:30,835
Let me help you.
441
00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:32,937
[grunting]
442
00:16:32,939 --> 00:16:36,007
[screams] Ow!
443
00:16:36,009 --> 00:16:38,509
Karma, I don't even
think this plan is gonna work.
444
00:16:38,511 --> 00:16:39,944
Your parents, are,
like, the most accepting
445
00:16:39,946 --> 00:16:41,379
people on the planet.
446
00:16:41,381 --> 00:16:44,482
I don't think they
have any deal breakers.
447
00:16:44,484 --> 00:16:46,417
Well, actually,
448
00:16:46,419 --> 00:16:48,686
there's one, and that's you,
449
00:16:48,688 --> 00:16:50,755
if you tell them how you really feel.
450
00:16:50,757 --> 00:16:53,224
Yeah, but keeping this
secret made my dad sick.
451
00:16:53,226 --> 00:16:57,131
What if I tell him, and he dies?
452
00:16:57,375 --> 00:16:59,197
Okay, now that you've said it out loud,
453
00:16:59,199 --> 00:17:03,134
do you realize how
ridiculous that sounds?
454
00:17:03,136 --> 00:17:05,403
Yeah, you're right.
455
00:17:05,405 --> 00:17:08,406
God, Amy, I'm so lucky to have you back.
456
00:17:08,408 --> 00:17:12,110
- I missed us.
- Oh, me too.
457
00:17:12,112 --> 00:17:13,177
[phone buzzing]
458
00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:15,813
Oh! The parent trap!
459
00:17:16,011 --> 00:17:17,644
_
460
00:17:17,883 --> 00:17:19,617
Uh...
461
00:17:19,619 --> 00:17:21,085
Oh...
462
00:17:21,609 --> 00:17:22,941
_
463
00:17:23,048 --> 00:17:24,188
_
464
00:17:25,324 --> 00:17:27,458
[engine turning over]
465
00:17:29,094 --> 00:17:30,461
Lauren!
466
00:17:30,463 --> 00:17:31,596
You're here?
467
00:17:31,598 --> 00:17:33,865
Uh-huh. It's such a coincidence.
468
00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:37,268
Let me guess, you've been stood up.
469
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:39,804
Why did I get my hopes up?
470
00:17:39,806 --> 00:17:43,374
Oh, maybe leaving
your father was a mistake.
471
00:17:43,376 --> 00:17:46,511
You should really come inside.
472
00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:48,479
Oh. Okay.
473
00:17:48,481 --> 00:17:51,516
[slow swing music]
474
00:17:51,518 --> 00:17:53,750
475
00:17:59,192 --> 00:18:00,892
Oh.
476
00:18:00,894 --> 00:18:03,494
477
00:18:03,496 --> 00:18:05,963
Oh.
478
00:18:16,108 --> 00:18:19,143
Thanks, Sis.
479
00:18:19,145 --> 00:18:21,145
480
00:18:21,147 --> 00:18:22,480
[sighs]
481
00:18:24,428 --> 00:18:25,695
Wait, are you sure?
482
00:18:25,697 --> 00:18:27,030
Your dad's just in the other room.
483
00:18:27,032 --> 00:18:28,531
What? He gave us his
blessing, didn't he?
484
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:29,899
It's totally kosher.
485
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:32,702
- I love being Jewish.
- [laughs]
486
00:18:32,704 --> 00:18:35,438
And that's why my band... name TBD...
487
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,474
must play Becca's Bat Mitzvah.
488
00:18:37,476 --> 00:18:39,643
They're a bit pricey, but worth it.
489
00:18:39,645 --> 00:18:41,878
Well, how can I argue with my
favorite Bat Mitzvah student
490
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,180
and the boyfriend of my
best Bar Mitzvah student?
491
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:45,715
[chuckles] What?
492
00:18:45,717 --> 00:18:46,816
Liam?
493
00:18:46,818 --> 00:18:48,018
We're not boyfriends.
494
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:49,886
Liam's as hetero as they come.
495
00:18:49,888 --> 00:18:51,121
[scoffs]
496
00:18:51,123 --> 00:18:51,921
[crash!]
497
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,089
[moans]
498
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,126
- Liam!
- [yelps]
499
00:18:56,128 --> 00:18:58,294
How dare you?
500
00:18:58,296 --> 00:19:00,697
You said it was kosher.
501
00:19:00,699 --> 00:19:03,266
You need to find a new temple.
502
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:04,467
[camera shutter clicks]
503
00:19:04,469 --> 00:19:06,870
Mom, Dad.
504
00:19:06,872 --> 00:19:09,939
The truth is, I'm really uncomfortable
505
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,908
with this whole poly-Diane thing.
506
00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:16,279
I didn't want to upset
you, but I have to be honest.
507
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:19,849
We were a bit surprised you
were so accepting so quickly.
508
00:19:19,851 --> 00:19:21,284
So you'll stop seeing Diane?
509
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:25,321
Oh, sweetheart.
510
00:19:25,323 --> 00:19:27,023
No.
511
00:19:27,025 --> 00:19:29,092
We appreciate that you're
living your truth,
512
00:19:29,094 --> 00:19:31,761
but we have to live ours as well.
513
00:19:31,763 --> 00:19:36,866
But we won't ask her
to move in just yet.
514
00:19:36,868 --> 00:19:39,803
And we'll make sure to do any
sleepovers at her place.
515
00:19:42,106 --> 00:19:43,940
Lauren, I'm sorry.
516
00:19:43,942 --> 00:19:45,275
I screwed up.
517
00:19:45,277 --> 00:19:46,543
Okay, but I still think...
518
00:19:46,545 --> 00:19:47,944
You can just stop.
519
00:19:47,946 --> 00:19:49,813
Of course you dumped
our plan to help Karma.
520
00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:52,182
I'm an idiot for even
being a little surprised.
521
00:19:52,184 --> 00:19:54,584
I did all that for you.
522
00:19:54,586 --> 00:19:56,252
I catfished my mom, broke her heart...
523
00:19:56,254 --> 00:19:58,288
Do you even want
them to get back together?
524
00:19:58,290 --> 00:20:00,490
Honestly? I don't know.
525
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:02,659
I don't really care if
Bruce is my stepdad.
526
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:05,261
But I know that I want you as my sister.
527
00:20:05,263 --> 00:20:06,863
Well, I don't,
528
00:20:06,865 --> 00:20:08,732
not if you're always
going to pick Karma over me.
529
00:20:08,734 --> 00:20:10,767
That's not fair.
530
00:20:10,769 --> 00:20:12,202
Karma and I are best friends.
531
00:20:12,204 --> 00:20:13,369
You and I are sisters.
532
00:20:13,371 --> 00:20:14,771
Stop saying we're sisters!
533
00:20:14,773 --> 00:20:17,273
We're not and we never will be again.
534
00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:19,976
It's over.
535
00:20:19,978 --> 00:20:21,111
I'm moving out.
536
00:20:25,112 --> 00:20:26,983
Next on "Faking It"...
537
00:20:26,984 --> 00:20:29,119
This weekend is the
Haunted Hester party.
538
00:20:29,121 --> 00:20:30,820
Supposedly everyone who goes hooks up.
539
00:20:30,822 --> 00:20:31,855
I was hoping your breakup with Rachel
540
00:20:31,857 --> 00:20:33,356
wouldn't get you down.
541
00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:34,758
She helped me see that
I have zero business
542
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:35,992
being in a relationship.
543
00:20:35,994 --> 00:20:37,961
So I heard it's a big hook-up fest.
544
00:20:37,963 --> 00:20:39,529
No, no, I'm not.
545
00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:42,432
I'm just going as Karma's wingwoman.
546
00:20:42,434 --> 00:20:44,086
Oh. I was gonna show up.
547
00:20:44,087 --> 00:20:46,247
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548
00:20:46,297 --> 00:20:50,847
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