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1
00:00:00,777 --> 00:00:02,509
( rapping ):
* ...as long as my bills are paid, they know... *
2
00:00:02,509 --> 00:00:04,942
CHRIS:
By 1987, everybody in the country
3
00:00:04,942 --> 00:00:06,407
had heard of rap music.
4
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,707
And most kids either
wanted to be a DJ...
5
00:00:08,706 --> 00:00:10,771
♪ Said my woman
had it all arranged ♪
6
00:00:10,771 --> 00:00:12,704
( record scratching )
...or an MC.
7
00:00:12,704 --> 00:00:15,502
Throw your hands in the air!
8
00:00:15,502 --> 00:00:17,234
Wave them like
you just don't care!
9
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:19,734
But then something happened
to change it all...
10
00:00:19,733 --> 00:00:21,365
♪ Stick 'em,
ha-ha-ha, stick 'em ♪
11
00:00:21,365 --> 00:00:24,031
...the Fat Boys,
featuring the Human Beatbox.
12
00:00:24,031 --> 00:00:25,863
( beatboxing )
13
00:00:25,863 --> 00:00:28,629
( crowd cheering )
* We're the mind-blowing, body-rocking... *
14
00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:30,561
( Chris beatboxing )
15
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:39,921
( inhales deeply )
16
00:00:39,922 --> 00:00:42,387
( beatboxing )
17
00:00:42,386 --> 00:00:44,118
Chris!
18
00:00:44,118 --> 00:00:45,585
What the hell
are you doing?
19
00:00:45,585 --> 00:00:47,216
Beatboxing. It's the new thing.
20
00:00:47,216 --> 00:00:49,583
Buffy the Human Beatbox
from the Fat Boys is the best.
21
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:50,715
Best at what?
22
00:00:50,715 --> 00:00:52,380
Spitting all
over everything?
23
00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:53,680
He did say "spit," right?
24
00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:55,780
Is it okay if I leave
a little early today?
25
00:00:55,779 --> 00:00:58,011
The Fat Boys are coming to town,
and I want to get there early
26
00:00:58,011 --> 00:00:59,109
before the tickets sell out.
27
00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:00,275
Go on.
28
00:01:00,276 --> 00:01:01,909
But you're wasting
your money.
29
00:01:01,909 --> 00:01:03,841
I know a lady
that'll spit on you
30
00:01:03,841 --> 00:01:05,974
for half the price
of what them tickets cost you.
31
00:01:05,974 --> 00:01:08,072
Back then, you actually
had to leave your house
32
00:01:08,071 --> 00:01:09,504
to buy concert tickets.
33
00:01:09,505 --> 00:01:11,438
( beatboxing )
34
00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:16,733
You're getting Fat
Boys tickets, too?
35
00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:19,065
Nah, I'm just holding
this dude's place in line.
36
00:01:19,065 --> 00:01:20,231
$1.50 an hour.
37
00:01:20,231 --> 00:01:21,897
I'll hold your spot, too,
if you want.
38
00:01:21,897 --> 00:01:23,863
Nah, that's okay.
39
00:01:23,863 --> 00:01:25,061
I'll wait in line.
40
00:01:25,062 --> 00:01:28,396
Uh, back of the line
is that way.
41
00:01:34,189 --> 00:01:36,123
( comic theme playing )
42
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:44,084
Sold out? I've been waiting
in line for three hours.
43
00:01:44,084 --> 00:01:45,083
Could've been worse;
44
00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:46,349
could've been four.
45
00:01:46,349 --> 00:01:48,615
Look, all I have left
is Hall and Oates tickets.
46
00:01:48,615 --> 00:01:50,181
Do I look white?
47
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,312
What's the matter?
You look depressed.
48
00:01:54,312 --> 00:01:56,611
I waited in line all day
yesterday for Fat Boys tickets,
49
00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:59,075
and just when I made it
to the store, they sold out.
50
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:00,508
No problem.
51
00:02:00,508 --> 00:02:01,507
I got tickets.
52
00:02:01,508 --> 00:02:02,742
How?
53
00:02:03,806 --> 00:02:07,038
( people groaning, grumbling )
54
00:02:07,037 --> 00:02:08,904
Sold out?! But I've
been waiting in line
55
00:02:08,904 --> 00:02:10,636
for Hall and Oates tickets
for three hours!
56
00:02:10,636 --> 00:02:12,635
Hall and Oates
wouldn't wait three hours
57
00:02:12,635 --> 00:02:13,867
for Hall and Oates tickets.
58
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:16,067
All we got left
is Fat Boys tickets.
59
00:02:17,199 --> 00:02:20,132
Ah, what the heck,
I'll take two.
60
00:02:24,594 --> 00:02:26,226
Wait, this is
for the 10:30 show.
61
00:02:26,226 --> 00:02:27,225
So?
62
00:02:27,226 --> 00:02:28,726
18 and over only.
63
00:02:28,726 --> 00:02:30,091
How we supposed to get in?
64
00:02:30,091 --> 00:02:31,924
Easy, just wait
three more years.
65
00:02:31,924 --> 00:02:33,857
( funky hip-hop theme playing )
66
00:02:44,783 --> 00:02:45,984
* Oh, make it funky now *
67
00:03:05,972 --> 00:03:07,871
CHRIS:
I had two Fat Boys tickets.
68
00:03:07,871 --> 00:03:10,503
Now I had to get
two skinny boys to pass for 18.
69
00:03:10,502 --> 00:03:11,534
Look, I've been thinking.
70
00:03:11,534 --> 00:03:13,566
All I have to do is
get out of the house,
71
00:03:13,566 --> 00:03:15,765
then maybe we can find
a way to get into the show.
72
00:03:15,765 --> 00:03:18,164
Well, my mother will be drunk
and passed out by about 7:00.
73
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,996
So getting out of the house
won't be a problem.
74
00:03:19,996 --> 00:03:21,362
I could be on tour
with Van Halen,
75
00:03:21,362 --> 00:03:22,528
and she wouldn't
even notice.
76
00:03:22,528 --> 00:03:23,961
Years later, Greg actually
77
00:03:23,961 --> 00:03:26,392
toured with Van Halen
for a year as a mike stand.
78
00:03:26,392 --> 00:03:27,625
All right, that's good.
79
00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:29,657
In terms of us going
to see The Fat Boys, yes.
80
00:03:29,657 --> 00:03:31,623
But in truth, alcohol abuse
is nothing to laugh at.
81
00:03:31,623 --> 00:03:33,889
And I'll be scarred forever
by my mother's tragic disease,
82
00:03:33,889 --> 00:03:34,921
but please, continue.
83
00:03:34,921 --> 00:03:37,119
All right, all I have
to do is get my mom
84
00:03:37,119 --> 00:03:39,252
to say it's okay to spend
the night at your house
85
00:03:39,251 --> 00:03:40,283
and that's half the battle.
86
00:03:40,284 --> 00:03:41,684
Wait, what's
the other half?
87
00:03:41,684 --> 00:03:43,316
Know anywhere we can
get some fake IDs?
88
00:03:43,316 --> 00:03:44,515
Fake IDs?
89
00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:45,681
Fake IDs.
90
00:03:45,682 --> 00:03:47,614
When you were a
teenager, fake IDs
91
00:03:47,614 --> 00:03:49,947
could open up a whole
new magical world.
92
00:03:49,946 --> 00:03:51,711
* Shake it up,
shake it up, whoo *
93
00:03:51,711 --> 00:03:53,009
* Shake that thing *
94
00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:54,343
* I been working all week... *
95
00:03:54,343 --> 00:03:57,309
Here you go, Mr. Testaverde.
96
00:03:57,308 --> 00:04:00,006
And Mr. Sharpton, your ID.
97
00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:01,206
* To find some mackin'... *
98
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:02,738
* But that don't thrill me *
99
00:04:02,738 --> 00:04:04,737
* So I head to the Magic City
to get on, G *
100
00:04:04,737 --> 00:04:06,503
* I don't dance,
don't need to start frontin' *
101
00:04:06,503 --> 00:04:08,469
* I'm lookin' for a ...
that want to move something *
102
00:04:08,469 --> 00:04:10,534
* Know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm talking... *
103
00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:13,033
I got the tickets;
why do I have to get the IDs?
104
00:04:13,032 --> 00:04:15,198
Because if you get busted
trying to get fake IDs,
105
00:04:15,198 --> 00:04:16,630
you'll get community service.
106
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:18,496
If I get busted,
I'm two jail cells down
107
00:04:18,496 --> 00:04:19,762
from that guy who shot Reagan.
108
00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:21,494
Meanwhile,
I wasn't the only one
109
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,827
having problems
with my date of birth.
110
00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:25,991
Remember, I don't want
a party for my birthday.
111
00:04:25,991 --> 00:04:28,224
Don't worry.
You're not having a party.
112
00:04:28,223 --> 00:04:30,156
That's what the Democrats
said to Hillary.
113
00:04:32,721 --> 00:04:34,554
Hey, Ma, can I
sleep over at Greg's
114
00:04:34,554 --> 00:04:35,553
on Saturday night?
No.
115
00:04:35,553 --> 00:04:38,118
You can't go.
116
00:04:38,118 --> 00:04:39,350
I'm having a surprise party
117
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:40,750
for your father
on Saturday night,
118
00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:41,981
and I need you to be here.
119
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,481
But Dad's birthday's
not till Sunday.
120
00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:45,815
That's why it's called
a surprise party
121
00:04:45,814 --> 00:04:48,112
and not a
predictable party.
122
00:04:48,112 --> 00:04:49,645
I thought Dad didn't
even like parties.
123
00:04:49,645 --> 00:04:52,510
Boy, you have no idea
what your life would be like
124
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,708
if I paid attention
to what your father liked.
125
00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:55,808
And neither does he.
126
00:04:55,808 --> 00:04:58,807
So here's what
I'm going to do.
127
00:04:58,807 --> 00:05:01,071
While my mother
made birthday plans,
128
00:05:01,070 --> 00:05:03,370
Drew made plans
to see birthday suits.
129
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,968
Wow.
130
00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:06,234
Drew was trying
to get something
131
00:05:06,235 --> 00:05:07,234
every young boy wanted.
132
00:05:07,234 --> 00:05:09,367
X-ray glasses.
133
00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:11,032
Cool.
134
00:05:11,032 --> 00:05:14,131
I'm waiting for them to come
out with X-ray contact lenses.
135
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:16,496
Back at school,
I was more depressed
136
00:05:16,496 --> 00:05:18,429
than the Fat Boys
at a finger sandwich party.
137
00:05:18,429 --> 00:05:20,094
My dad's surprise party
is Saturday night,
138
00:05:20,094 --> 00:05:21,860
and I don't know
how I'm gonna do that
139
00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:23,025
and see the
Fat Boys, too.
140
00:05:23,025 --> 00:05:25,458
So, surprise him.
141
00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:26,856
Don't be there.
142
00:05:26,857 --> 00:05:27,890
Look, I did my part.
143
00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:29,755
I can't get you
out of the house, too.
144
00:05:29,755 --> 00:05:31,387
You got the IDs?
145
00:05:31,387 --> 00:05:33,186
Is Janet Jackson in control?
146
00:05:33,186 --> 00:05:35,419
Yes, but Michael isn't.
147
00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,651
Let me guess, I'm Mr. T,
and you're George Peppard?
148
00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:40,082
Dude, they're free.
149
00:05:40,082 --> 00:05:41,081
What do you expect?
150
00:05:41,081 --> 00:05:43,313
See what you
can do with this.
151
00:05:43,313 --> 00:05:44,979
I'm gonna work on
getting out the house.
152
00:05:44,979 --> 00:05:46,944
Since I couldn't make it
to the club
153
00:05:46,944 --> 00:05:50,677
and to my father's party, I had
to make sure one didn't happen.
154
00:05:50,676 --> 00:05:53,142
And I didn't need tickets
to see my father.
155
00:05:53,142 --> 00:05:54,141
Hey, Dad.
156
00:05:54,141 --> 00:05:55,206
What's up?
157
00:05:55,206 --> 00:05:56,938
I feel real horrible
about telling you this.
158
00:05:56,938 --> 00:05:58,405
No, you don't.
159
00:05:58,406 --> 00:06:01,171
You know how you didn't want
to celebrate your birthday?
160
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:03,169
Mom's planning a
surprise party for you.
161
00:06:03,169 --> 00:06:04,268
What?!
162
00:06:04,268 --> 00:06:05,734
I told her
I didn't want a party.
163
00:06:05,734 --> 00:06:07,099
What, you mean
women don't listen?
164
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,299
I know.
165
00:06:08,299 --> 00:06:09,965
She's gonna take you out
to go get some food,
166
00:06:09,965 --> 00:06:11,930
then when you get back,
everybody's gonna be here.
167
00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:15,363
Chris, I know
it's hard for you
168
00:06:15,362 --> 00:06:18,228
to betray your mother's
trust, but I'm glad you did.
169
00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:21,059
And if she finds out, you can
regain her trust for free,
170
00:06:21,059 --> 00:06:23,125
but paying off a party
is gonna be expensive.
171
00:06:23,124 --> 00:06:25,289
Think she'll find out?
172
00:06:25,289 --> 00:06:28,189
I'll make sure she doesn't.
173
00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:37,082
ROCHELLE:
Mmm!
174
00:06:37,082 --> 00:06:39,115
Smells good.
175
00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:40,381
Is that Benny's Tacos?
176
00:06:40,381 --> 00:06:41,713
Mm-hmm.
177
00:06:41,714 --> 00:06:42,847
Wow.
178
00:06:42,847 --> 00:06:44,078
I haven't been there in ages.
179
00:06:44,078 --> 00:06:45,644
You know what?
180
00:06:45,644 --> 00:06:47,510
Since you don't want to
have a birthday party,
181
00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:49,109
maybe we could go
there on Saturday.
182
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,708
You know, it's not
that expensive,
183
00:06:50,708 --> 00:06:52,040
and Chris can watch the kids.
184
00:06:52,041 --> 00:06:53,940
Honey, I know what
you're trying to do.
185
00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:56,072
I told you I don't want a party.
186
00:06:56,071 --> 00:06:58,804
How did you know
I was throwing you a party?
187
00:06:58,804 --> 00:06:59,803
Did Chris tell you?
188
00:06:59,803 --> 00:07:01,168
No.
189
00:07:01,168 --> 00:07:02,634
I'm not stupid, honey.
190
00:07:02,635 --> 00:07:04,601
And I appreciate you
wanting to celebrate with me,
191
00:07:04,601 --> 00:07:05,899
but I don't want a party.
192
00:07:05,899 --> 00:07:08,566
Well, if you don't want
to have a birthday party,
193
00:07:08,565 --> 00:07:10,430
what do I do when
my birthday comes around
194
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,862
and I want to have a party?
195
00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:14,095
So this is all
so you can have a party?
196
00:07:14,095 --> 00:07:15,227
Exactly.
197
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:16,226
It's my birthday.
198
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,626
What are we doing for me?
199
00:07:17,626 --> 00:07:20,158
Ironically, making you wish
you were never born.
200
00:07:20,158 --> 00:07:21,825
Julius, don't even try
to turn this around.
201
00:07:21,825 --> 00:07:23,690
If you don't want me
to have a party,
202
00:07:23,690 --> 00:07:25,089
just come out and say it!
203
00:07:25,089 --> 00:07:27,521
I didn't say I didn't want
you to have a party.
204
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,286
It's not what you're saying,
but that's what you're saying.
205
00:07:30,286 --> 00:07:31,452
You know what?
206
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:32,883
Fine, Julius.
207
00:07:32,883 --> 00:07:34,949
Do what you want.
208
00:07:34,949 --> 00:07:35,982
Happy birthday!
209
00:07:39,846 --> 00:07:41,612
You can go to Greg's
on Saturday.
210
00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:43,977
What about Dad's party?
211
00:07:43,977 --> 00:07:45,544
We're not having it.
212
00:07:45,544 --> 00:07:47,109
Why not?
213
00:07:47,109 --> 00:07:48,974
'Cause your
father's a jerk.
214
00:07:48,974 --> 00:07:52,174
The bad news is my parents
could get divorced.
215
00:07:52,173 --> 00:07:55,106
But the good news is
I get to see the Fat Boys.
216
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,104
( rap theme playing )
217
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:04,200
CHRIS:
Since I had handled my part of the plan,
218
00:08:04,199 --> 00:08:05,432
now everything was up to Greg.
219
00:08:05,433 --> 00:08:06,565
I'm all set on my end.
220
00:08:06,565 --> 00:08:08,230
Did you have any luck
with the fake IDs?
221
00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,230
Does Boy George have luck
with women's clothing?
222
00:08:12,329 --> 00:08:14,328
Hey, these actually
look like us. Yeah, I know.
223
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,060
They are actually two
guys from Guatemala.
224
00:08:28,918 --> 00:08:30,318
You know, maybe
we should take these
225
00:08:30,318 --> 00:08:31,617
for a test drive
before the show.
226
00:08:31,618 --> 00:08:32,983
Oh, here's your change.
227
00:08:32,983 --> 00:08:34,949
Change as well?
228
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,380
You go.
229
00:08:41,779 --> 00:08:43,345
( screams )
230
00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:46,642
You know what?
231
00:08:46,642 --> 00:08:48,541
I think I know
who we can talk to.
232
00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:49,939
Fake ID?
233
00:08:49,939 --> 00:08:52,306
Why would I know anything
about where to get a fake ID?
234
00:08:52,306 --> 00:08:54,438
Because you operate on
the fringes of the law.
235
00:08:54,437 --> 00:08:56,835
Hey, man, just because
somebody's name is Risky,
236
00:08:56,835 --> 00:08:58,702
and they operate
on the fringes of the law,
237
00:08:58,702 --> 00:09:00,034
does not mean
they break the law.
238
00:09:00,034 --> 00:09:01,033
Yes, it does.
239
00:09:01,034 --> 00:09:02,400
JAMES:
Yeah, man.
240
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,831
Using fake IDs could get
y'all in serious trouble.
241
00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:05,829
If I wasn't underage,
242
00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:06,929
who knows where I'd be now?
243
00:09:06,929 --> 00:09:08,397
So do you or don't you?
244
00:09:10,528 --> 00:09:13,793
Oh, hey, man, I think
I see Run-DMC outside!
245
00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:14,858
I don't see anybody.
246
00:09:14,859 --> 00:09:16,292
Well, maybe you should
go out there
247
00:09:16,292 --> 00:09:17,624
and make sure it wasn't them.
248
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,623
Make sure who wasn't them?
249
00:09:19,623 --> 00:09:21,088
Man, would you
just go outside
250
00:09:21,088 --> 00:09:23,154
so he can tell you
where to get the ID?
251
00:09:23,154 --> 00:09:24,153
Man, you slow.
252
00:09:24,153 --> 00:09:26,319
Forget it.
Forget it.
253
00:09:26,319 --> 00:09:28,285
Go to this address,
254
00:09:28,285 --> 00:09:30,783
and tell them you want
a passport photo.
255
00:09:30,783 --> 00:09:32,650
Passport photo?
256
00:09:32,649 --> 00:09:35,581
That's code for "fake ID."
257
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:36,946
Y'all slow.
258
00:09:36,946 --> 00:09:39,279
While I was trying
to break the law,
259
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,810
my father was trying
to break the silence.
260
00:09:41,809 --> 00:09:43,410
So, how was your day?
261
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,106
Rochelle, this is childish.
262
00:09:49,106 --> 00:09:51,605
Can you please
tell your father
263
00:09:51,605 --> 00:09:53,604
that I have nothing
to say to him.
264
00:09:53,603 --> 00:09:55,603
Mama said she has
nothing to say to you.
265
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,366
Fine. Throw me a party.
266
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,865
Oh!
267
00:10:01,865 --> 00:10:04,331
So now all of a sudden
you want to have a party.
268
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:05,363
Well, it's too late.
269
00:10:05,364 --> 00:10:08,463
You just can't blow
some balloons up,
270
00:10:08,462 --> 00:10:09,694
set a cake on fire
271
00:10:09,694 --> 00:10:10,693
and start hollering.
272
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:11,959
You have to plan
for a party.
273
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,758
I mean, I have
to send out invitations,
274
00:10:13,758 --> 00:10:15,157
write out a guest list,
275
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:16,523
make present
suggestions.
276
00:10:16,523 --> 00:10:18,489
Oh, no, no, you are not
putting me through all that.
277
00:10:18,489 --> 00:10:20,688
Nuh-uh. The next time
you want to have a party,
278
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,320
you need to say something
ahead of time
279
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,120
instead of always waiting
till the last minute!
280
00:10:25,352 --> 00:10:27,651
TONYA:
Mama said,
281
00:10:27,651 --> 00:10:28,882
"Oh!
( chuckles )
282
00:10:28,882 --> 00:10:30,649
"So now all of a sudden
you want to have a party.
283
00:10:30,649 --> 00:10:31,747
"Well, it's too late.
284
00:10:31,747 --> 00:10:33,247
"You can't just blow up
some balloons,
285
00:10:33,248 --> 00:10:34,846
"set a cake on fire,
and start hollering.
286
00:10:34,846 --> 00:10:35,979
"You have to plan
for a party.
287
00:10:35,979 --> 00:10:37,211
"You have to invite
the people.
288
00:10:37,211 --> 00:10:39,043
"You have to invite the family
from out of town.
289
00:10:39,043 --> 00:10:41,142
"You have to get the cake.
You have to get the ice cream.
290
00:10:41,142 --> 00:10:43,275
You have to get toys for
the little kids to play with..."
291
00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:46,307
Since it's against the law
to choke children on film,
292
00:10:46,306 --> 00:10:47,572
we're gonna go
to the next scene.
293
00:10:47,572 --> 00:10:48,771
"No, you have to plan for it!"
294
00:10:50,903 --> 00:10:53,236
Meanwhile, Drew got
a special delivery
295
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,169
from the see-through
women's clothing fairy.
296
00:10:57,234 --> 00:10:59,167
Cool.
297
00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:16,323
Oh, dang!
298
00:11:16,323 --> 00:11:17,555
Excuse me.
299
00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:19,254
I know this may
sound weird,
300
00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:20,520
but do you by
chance have two sets
301
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,818
of the exact
same clothes on?
302
00:11:22,818 --> 00:11:24,251
Yes.
303
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,716
But what does that
have to do with anything?
304
00:11:26,716 --> 00:11:28,416
( chuckles ):
Oh, nothing.
305
00:11:28,416 --> 00:11:30,481
Just asking.
306
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,114
( exhales )
307
00:11:36,177 --> 00:11:38,610
A few blocks away,
me and Greg were hoping
308
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,242
nobody could see through us.
309
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,374
This is it.
310
00:11:41,374 --> 00:11:43,407
"Ticket services,
check cashing,
311
00:11:43,407 --> 00:11:44,939
"bail bondsman,
312
00:11:44,939 --> 00:11:47,238
loans, piano lessons."
313
00:11:47,238 --> 00:11:49,370
Piano lessons?
Piano lessons?
314
00:11:49,370 --> 00:11:50,736
"Passport photos."
315
00:12:02,563 --> 00:12:04,595
Little dude
from across the street,
316
00:12:04,595 --> 00:12:05,860
can I help you?
317
00:12:05,860 --> 00:12:08,326
Wait, you work here?
Yeah. Why?
318
00:12:08,326 --> 00:12:10,659
Why didn't you say something
when we were at the barbershop?
319
00:12:10,659 --> 00:12:12,790
Look here, little dude
from across the street's friend
320
00:12:12,789 --> 00:12:15,122
from across town, I don't know
what you're talking about.
321
00:12:15,122 --> 00:12:18,454
Look, Jerome, we just
need some passport photos.
322
00:12:18,453 --> 00:12:19,919
You're not cops, are you?
323
00:12:19,919 --> 00:12:22,951
Why? Is it illegal for cops
to have passport photos?
324
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,284
No. But if you knew passport
photos meant something else
325
00:12:25,283 --> 00:12:28,781
and you were trying to trick me,
I'd have to ask if you a cop,
326
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:30,446
because legally,
you have to say yes,
327
00:12:30,446 --> 00:12:32,112
and then I wouldn't
give you one.
328
00:12:32,112 --> 00:12:33,645
Contrary to popular belief,
329
00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:36,277
you needed to be educated
if you wanted to drop out
330
00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:37,942
and become a criminal.
We're not cops.
331
00:12:37,942 --> 00:12:39,575
You could be undercover.
332
00:12:39,575 --> 00:12:41,140
Do we look like
21 Jump Street?
333
00:12:41,140 --> 00:12:42,972
Look, it could be
a sting operation.
334
00:12:42,972 --> 00:12:44,540
We're not cops.
We're not cops.
335
00:12:45,803 --> 00:12:48,170
Cool. Let me buzz my man.
336
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:49,868
Money!
337
00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:52,401
I understand you boys
want to leave the country.
338
00:12:52,401 --> 00:12:53,534
Uncle Ryan?
339
00:12:53,534 --> 00:12:55,600
I hope he's not a cop.
340
00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:03,028
When I set out
to look for fake IDs
341
00:13:03,028 --> 00:13:05,027
I didn't expect to find
my real uncle.
342
00:13:05,026 --> 00:13:06,325
You sell fake IDs?
343
00:13:06,326 --> 00:13:07,425
What are you
talking about?
344
00:13:07,425 --> 00:13:08,857
You're the one
trying to buy it.
345
00:13:08,857 --> 00:13:10,290
Does my father
know you do this?
346
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,456
No.
347
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,322
Does your mom know
you're doing this?
348
00:13:13,322 --> 00:13:15,588
No. You're not gonna
tell her, are you?
349
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:16,719
And ruin my good business?
350
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:17,719
I don't think so.
351
00:13:17,719 --> 00:13:19,185
You're not
gonna tell?
352
00:13:19,185 --> 00:13:20,451
No, I'm no snitch.
353
00:13:20,452 --> 00:13:22,783
We just want to go
see the Fat Boys.
354
00:13:22,782 --> 00:13:24,082
Oh. I love those guys.
355
00:13:24,082 --> 00:13:25,314
( beatboxing )
356
00:13:25,315 --> 00:13:27,448
♪ All you can eat... ♪
357
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:30,746
( beatboxing )
358
00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:34,078
( grunting rhythmically )
359
00:13:34,077 --> 00:13:36,742
So, when can we get 'em?
And how much is it gonna cost?
360
00:13:36,741 --> 00:13:38,141
Well, that depends.
361
00:13:38,141 --> 00:13:40,573
When it comes to delivery,
you have three separate options.
362
00:13:40,573 --> 00:13:42,972
You can get 'em fast
and cheap, but not good;
363
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:45,571
you can get 'em good
and cheap, but not fast;
364
00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:48,635
or you can get 'em fast
and good, but not cheap.
365
00:13:48,634 --> 00:13:52,167
Well, the concert's tomorrow,
so how much is the last option?
366
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,399
25 bucks.
367
00:13:54,198 --> 00:13:55,132
Each.
368
00:13:57,530 --> 00:14:00,129
( exhales )
Well, it is the Fat Boys.
369
00:14:00,129 --> 00:14:01,894
Wait.
370
00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:05,260
You really want a fake ID
to go the Fat Boys concert?
371
00:14:05,259 --> 00:14:06,624
Yeah.
372
00:14:06,624 --> 00:14:09,023
You're not gonna try
to get liquor or cigarettes
373
00:14:09,023 --> 00:14:10,356
or go see X-rated movies?
374
00:14:10,356 --> 00:14:12,155
Not until you mentioned it.
No.
375
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,653
You'll have 'em tomorrow.
376
00:14:14,652 --> 00:14:17,618
( camera shutter clicks )
377
00:14:17,618 --> 00:14:18,984
Drew's X-ray glasses
didn't work,
378
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,816
so he had his eye on a refund.
379
00:14:21,815 --> 00:14:25,516
Uh, "ticket services,
check cashing..."
380
00:14:27,279 --> 00:14:29,278
Lemonade?
381
00:14:29,278 --> 00:14:31,444
Not "lemonade."
"Laminated."
382
00:14:31,444 --> 00:14:33,410
It means "covered in plastic."
383
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:35,375
I want you to get
these laminated,
384
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,274
so they look like
the real thing.
385
00:14:37,273 --> 00:14:39,139
When it's done,
take 'em to Chris.
386
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,839
Cool.
All right?
387
00:14:42,071 --> 00:14:44,571
What's up, Drew?
Hey, what's up, Jerome?
388
00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:45,768
Hey.
389
00:14:45,769 --> 00:14:47,202
What are you doing here, man?
390
00:14:47,202 --> 00:14:48,867
I'm looking
for Vision Ray Specs, Inc.
391
00:14:48,867 --> 00:14:50,533
I bought a pair
of X-ray glasses,
392
00:14:50,533 --> 00:14:52,099
but the things don't even work.
393
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,398
I'm getting
my money back.
394
00:14:53,398 --> 00:14:54,930
Ah, sorry about that.
395
00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:56,463
You're Vision Ray Specs, Inc?
396
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,361
Yep. Look, I can get
you something else.
397
00:14:59,361 --> 00:15:01,427
Uh, whoopee cushion,
joy buzzers,
398
00:15:01,427 --> 00:15:03,193
sea monkeys, black gum.
399
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,225
Nah, that's okay.
I just want my money.
400
00:15:05,224 --> 00:15:06,689
Drew couldn't see
through his hand,
401
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:08,689
but he could see
through Ryan's BS.
402
00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:10,288
Here.
403
00:15:10,288 --> 00:15:12,153
I'll give you half.
What's this?
404
00:15:12,153 --> 00:15:14,352
That's 50 cents.
Glasses cost a dollar.
405
00:15:14,352 --> 00:15:16,518
I spent five dollars
on shipping and handling.
406
00:15:16,518 --> 00:15:18,118
That's six.
You owe me three.
407
00:15:21,681 --> 00:15:23,214
Whoa, whoa,
give me my 50 cents back.
408
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:26,646
That's what 50's girlfriend
said to Vivica Fox.
409
00:15:26,645 --> 00:15:28,644
Now that I had my fake ID,
410
00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:30,643
I was ready to have
some real fun.
411
00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:32,376
Okay, Chris,
you know the rules.
412
00:15:32,376 --> 00:15:34,475
You go directly
to Greg's house,
413
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,174
you stay at Greg's house,
414
00:15:36,174 --> 00:15:38,006
and tomorrow, you
come directly home.
415
00:15:38,006 --> 00:15:39,005
Right.
416
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,137
TONYA:
And remember,
417
00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:41,669
if you do anything
you shouldn't do,
418
00:15:41,669 --> 00:15:44,102
it'll be like sticking a knife
in your mother's back.
419
00:15:44,102 --> 00:15:45,201
( door opens )
420
00:15:45,201 --> 00:15:46,234
What she said.
421
00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:51,398
Hey, honey.
422
00:15:51,398 --> 00:15:53,331
You look nice.
423
00:15:56,895 --> 00:15:58,827
What's for dinner tonight?
424
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:01,193
I don't know, baby.
Ask your daddy.
425
00:16:01,192 --> 00:16:03,191
I'm hanging out
with Vanessa tonight,
426
00:16:03,191 --> 00:16:05,957
since he doesn't
want to have a party.
427
00:16:07,888 --> 00:16:09,987
Daddy, Mommy told me
to ask you what's for dinner.
428
00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:12,220
Big bucket of fried crow.
429
00:16:13,951 --> 00:16:15,885
( dance theme playing )
430
00:16:17,983 --> 00:16:20,015
Dude, we are so in there.
431
00:16:20,014 --> 00:16:22,047
I hope so. You
got yours memorized?
432
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,246
Yeah. Paul Stanley,
June 6, 1968.
433
00:16:24,246 --> 00:16:26,911
What about you?
Gene Simmons, April 4, 1968.
434
00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:29,110
Whoa! IDs, please.
435
00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:32,874
Gene Simmons,
436
00:16:32,874 --> 00:16:36,240
April 4, 1968.
437
00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:38,804
Isn't that the day they
assassinated Dr. King?
438
00:16:38,804 --> 00:16:41,636
I didn't have nothing
to do with it.
439
00:16:41,635 --> 00:16:43,567
Mm-hmm. And,
Paul Stanley,
440
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:46,700
your birthday is
June 6, 1968--
441
00:16:46,699 --> 00:16:49,065
the same day Robert
Kennedy was assassinated.
442
00:16:49,065 --> 00:16:51,164
And here you two
are together.
443
00:16:51,164 --> 00:16:53,363
What are the odds
of that happening?
444
00:16:53,362 --> 00:16:55,428
About the same
as you being dumb enough
445
00:16:55,428 --> 00:16:57,293
to believe any answer
we give you.
446
00:16:57,293 --> 00:16:59,059
It's crazy.
( laughs )
447
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,258
It is, ain't it?
448
00:17:00,258 --> 00:17:01,857
Go ahead. Have
a good time.
449
00:17:01,857 --> 00:17:02,922
Ah, yeah.
450
00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:04,756
Hey, Paul, Gene...
451
00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:06,188
don't get shot.
452
00:17:06,188 --> 00:17:08,455
( fake laughing )
453
00:17:10,718 --> 00:17:12,485
Of all the things
I did expect to see
454
00:17:12,485 --> 00:17:14,649
when I went into
an adult nightclub,
455
00:17:14,649 --> 00:17:16,882
there was one thing
I didn't expect:
456
00:17:16,882 --> 00:17:18,881
a bunch of kids.
457
00:17:18,881 --> 00:17:21,280
Hey, if it isn't
Bosco and Milk.
458
00:17:21,279 --> 00:17:23,711
Caruso?
You like the Fat Boys?
459
00:17:23,711 --> 00:17:25,344
I'm not Caruso, idiot.
460
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,909
In here, I'm H. Rap Brown.
461
00:17:27,908 --> 00:17:29,874
You think I'd miss
the Human Beatbox?
462
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:32,007
She's, like,
a hip-hop Bobby McFerrin.
463
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:33,139
Who?
464
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,271
Dude, like, half
our class is in here.
465
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,870
Hey, you guys
want some drinks?
466
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:38,169
James?
467
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:41,169
Hey, man, I'm not James.
I'm Tom Cruise.
468
00:17:41,168 --> 00:17:42,434
What are you guys having?
469
00:17:42,434 --> 00:17:44,066
Uh, two iced teas.
470
00:17:44,066 --> 00:17:45,232
Need to see some ID.
471
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:48,064
ANNOUNCER:
Brooklyn, give it up
472
00:17:48,064 --> 00:17:49,596
for Prince Markie Dee,
473
00:17:49,596 --> 00:17:51,595
Kool Rock-Ski and...
474
00:17:51,595 --> 00:17:55,061
Buffy the Human Beatbox!
475
00:17:55,060 --> 00:17:57,093
All right, everybody,
up against the wall!
476
00:17:57,093 --> 00:17:58,125
Show's over!
477
00:17:58,125 --> 00:18:00,358
You're not taking me!
478
00:18:00,358 --> 00:18:02,424
( chattering )
479
00:18:03,688 --> 00:18:05,188
What's the problem?
480
00:18:05,188 --> 00:18:07,020
The problem is,
everybody in here is two.
481
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,952
You got a major
fake ID problem.
482
00:18:08,952 --> 00:18:12,018
MANAGER:
I don't know what you're talking about.
483
00:18:12,017 --> 00:18:13,416
Yeah, neither
does Larry Bird here.
484
00:18:13,416 --> 00:18:17,282
Let's get all these
fake IDs out! Now!
485
00:18:17,281 --> 00:18:19,313
Hey, Vito, you gonna let him
do me like this, man?
486
00:18:19,313 --> 00:18:20,346
Come on, man!
487
00:18:20,346 --> 00:18:22,211
Hey, man! You don't
know me like that.
488
00:18:22,211 --> 00:18:24,776
Come on. I'm from Brooklyn!
489
00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:27,076
Whatever happened
to Hall and Oates?
490
00:18:27,075 --> 00:18:29,573
Back at home, my plans
had gone up in smoke.
491
00:18:29,573 --> 00:18:32,572
But my father was about
to put me back in the mix.
492
00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:34,237
Hey, Ma.
Hi, baby!
493
00:18:34,237 --> 00:18:37,036
How was your night?
It was cool. How was yours?
494
00:18:37,036 --> 00:18:38,303
Ask him.
495
00:18:42,466 --> 00:18:44,465
Chris, I need your help.
496
00:18:44,464 --> 00:18:47,763
Sure. What do you need?
497
00:18:47,763 --> 00:18:50,263
I've got something
I need to do.
498
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:53,027
Look, I need you to take
your mother to lunch.
499
00:18:53,027 --> 00:18:54,960
Here's some money.
Here you go.
500
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:56,557
Whoa, this is serious.
501
00:18:56,557 --> 00:18:58,856
I'll be back about 2:00.
502
00:18:58,856 --> 00:19:00,689
I don't know
what's more surprising:
503
00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:03,155
my mother giving my father
the cold shoulder,
504
00:19:03,155 --> 00:19:05,788
or my father giving me
cold cash.
505
00:19:09,117 --> 00:19:12,116
ALL:
Surprise!
506
00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:13,615
Happy birthday to me!
507
00:19:13,615 --> 00:19:15,215
( laughs )
508
00:19:17,445 --> 00:19:19,444
Who are all these people?
509
00:19:19,444 --> 00:19:22,878
JULIUS:
The only people I could find for the party.
510
00:19:24,176 --> 00:19:26,441
Oh, baby!
511
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,873
Mwah! Ooh!
512
00:19:27,873 --> 00:19:30,606
Blow out the candles before
you set the house on fire.
513
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:34,103
( laughs ):
Yay!
514
00:19:34,103 --> 00:19:35,702
( knocking on door )
515
00:19:35,702 --> 00:19:40,001
Oh, I'll get it.
516
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,366
Ma'am, we confiscated
517
00:19:41,366 --> 00:19:43,631
an ID in a raid at
a nightclub last night
518
00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:45,863
that belongs to someone
who lives at this address.
519
00:19:45,863 --> 00:19:47,428
An ID?
Yes.
520
00:19:47,428 --> 00:19:49,094
It was being used
by kids who were there
521
00:19:49,094 --> 00:19:50,760
in a failed attempt
to see the Fat Boys.
522
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,359
As a community service,
523
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,325
I am returning it
to its rightful owner.
524
00:19:54,325 --> 00:19:55,690
Well, what's the
name on the ID?
525
00:19:55,691 --> 00:19:57,157
Gene Simmons.
526
00:19:57,157 --> 00:19:59,924
Because Ace Frehley
would've sounded ridiculous.
527
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,119
( exhales )
528
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,450
Ah, yeah, that
Gene Simmons, yeah.
529
00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:09,317
I do recognize him.
530
00:20:09,317 --> 00:20:12,283
Come tomorrow, nobody
will be able to recognize him.
531
00:20:12,282 --> 00:20:14,048
Thank you.
532
00:20:15,712 --> 00:20:18,112
Gene!
533
00:20:18,811 --> 00:20:21,543
* Everybody hates *
534
00:20:21,544 --> 00:20:24,110
* Gene *
535
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,213
( upbeat theme playing )
536
00:20:28,263 --> 00:20:32,813
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