All language subtitles for Everybody Hates Chris s03e14 Everybody Hates Easter.eng

BROOKLYN 1986

www.tvsubtitles.net

Growing up in bed-stuy,one holiday
I looked forward to was easter.

That's two boxes of
dye and a dozen eggs.

That it?

Almost.

You were dressed
up,girls were dressed up

and it was a good day to
pretend you were on a date.

Since tasha and I went to the same
church,she was the perfect choice.

- So,you gonna be in that easter pageant next week?
- Yeah.

Got an escort?

Please say no.

Yeah--
robert.

Get lost. What's up?

Did you remember to get the
epsom salt for your grandmother?

Got it.

I wasn't proud of it,but I prayed
something bad would happen to him.

oh,my god!

Robert,how will i ever get over this?

oh,I'll help you.

Yeah,I'll help you.

I never got that meteor,but
something almost as good happened.

- Why would you say that?
- Th nat'sot what I said.

- I heard what you said.
- Why do you have to be so stupid?

- You're stupid!
- No,you're stupid.

I hate you! It's quits!

I hate you.

I love this.

you okay?

It's nothing. Just forget it.

Time to bust a move,dumb mc.

Chris,are you going to the
easter pageant with anybody?

Yeah,lisa bonet.

No. Why?

- Would you escort me?
- Yeah.

Great. It's a date.

Tasha was on the rebound so
I made like dikembe mutombo.

Biggest deal at our house on
easter was my mother's church hat

because a church hat on easter
was li a gown at the oscars.

Hey,girl! Here she comes.

- Rochelle?Rochelle?
- Hi,shaun.

- Oh,that hat is fabulous!
- Thank you.

- Who is it?
- It's a sean gianni vermani.

Love you,girl. You look fabulous!

- Come on,julius.
- Oh,yes.

Julius,come back here.

I need you to help me
pick out my easter hat.

I'd rather pick cotton.

It would be less backbreaking.

Rochelle,we've been doing
this for months. Just pick one.

Julius,you just don't pick out a hat.

A hat picks you.

Okay,now tell me,which one of
these will look better on me?

I don't know. Where's your dress?

I put it on layaway. It's not out yet.

Ooh,which reminds me,I need ten dollars.

My mother didn't put the dress on
layaway because it was expensive.

She just started planning
for easter at thviksging.

Mom,why is this cranberry
sauce shaped like a rabbit?

Because I was testing
out my new easter molds.

- Who wants gravy?
- Nobody!

while my mother was judging
hats,greg was judging me.

Don't you think it's kind of
weird toave a date on easter?

Less weird than not having a date ever.

Besides,it's not a date.

It's an opportunity.

I guess you're right.

Maybe I should go back to church.

You know,score some babes.

When greg went back to church,the
only one who hit on him was the priest.

It's just that robert's
out of the picture.

If I'm ever gonna have a
shot with tasha,this is it.

I hear ya. Kick a man when he's
down,that's what I always say.

That was the only
time he ever said that.

Whose side are you on?

Yours. The guy's an idiot.

I haven't even been on one date,and I know you
don't break up with a girl before a holiday.

A girl by herself on a holiday
is like an ice-cream cone in hell.

Ain't gonna be there very long.

I know I always say this,but this
time,dude,you truly are in there.

Wait. Do you even know what *******

I do,but this is a family show.

Meanwhile,my mother was wearing
out shoes looking for a hat.

Rochelle,this is the sixth
hat shop we've been to today.

Yeah,but they say this is
the best hat shop in brooklyn.

Why didn't we come here first?

Well,how would I know if it's the best hat
shop if I didn't visit all the lousy ones first?

That's how vanessa looked for a husband.

Oh,yeah,girl,this is nice.

Oh,can I help you?

Yes. I'm looking for a
church hat for easter.

Not just a church hat.

She needs the churchiest hat you've got.

Uh-oh,sounds like somebody's
getting into a hat competition.

Oh,no,she's not getting
into the competition.

She is the competition.

Rochelle is the three-time winner of the
double rock on zion's holy gospel temple

of bethesda christian worship
baptist church easter hat show.

She's about to make it number four.

Hello.

You are rochelle!

I heard about you. I'm hattie.

Hi,hattie. Well,this
is my friend,vanessa.

Well,how did you hear about me?

Well,I just joined your church,

and I have been told
that nobody can beat you.

You know that's right.

You work here?

No,I own the shop.

Thus the name.

Well,it's very nice.

You have some really lovely hats.

Um,do you have this one in a medium?

Oh,if I did,I wouldn't sell it to you.

What?

You see,I plan on winning
the hat compet ion this year.

And as much as I would
love your business,

I'd be a fool to sell you a hat.

She told her.

Well,uh,miss hattie--
thus the name--

I don't know who you think
you are,and I don't know...

no,I'll tell you who I am.

I'm the five-time winner

of the fort greene greater
faith holy baptist temple

of divinity
C.O.G.I.C.Easter spectacular,

and I have graced the cover six times of

hat weekly waiting on the
seventh. Isn't that right,levin?

Well,miss hattie...

here's A... a dime.

Oh,what's that for?

For you to call somebody
who really cares.

Yeah,because I'm going to...

win that competition.

We'll see about that.

Oh,yes,we will.come on,nessa.

While my mother was steaming,
At home,things were boiling over.

Chris,how long does
it take to boil eggs?

I think they're done.

I told you.

What are y'all doing anyway?

I mean,I thought you
alady dyed eggs for easter.

We did.

These eggs are for the church egg hunt.

Me and drew are bringing extra so
I can have a head start on winning.

That's cheating.

Not if I don't get caught.

Now tonya uses the same
logic when she does her taxes.

All right,but you better not
let mama catch you either.

I didn't think about tha

don't worry. I'll hide
them in the refrigerator.

Who'd think of looking for eggs there?

While tonya and drew were getting
ready to become career criminals,

I was getting ready
for my date with tasha.

Uh,chris,if you look on
that shelf over there,

there's an ointment
that'll help you with that.

Thanks,doc,but I don't
need any ointment.

So why you walking like there's
something swollen,itching or burning?

Oh,'cause tasha asked me to
escort her in the easter pageant.

So I'm practicing my walk.

Walk like that in
bed-stuy,you better run.

Why?

She seen you walk before?

Yeah,I know. It's just that
she just broke up with robert.

So if I impress her now,she'll
forget all about him.

And you will stroll right
in and be her new man.

Exactly.

You think that's gonna work?

Why wouldn't it?

Because she's on the rebound.

- Rebound?
- Yeah.

When you break up with
somebody,they got you on the rebound.

A person on the rebound will be with anybody
just to forget the person they just left.

So who do you have to break up
with to end up with bobby brown?

Well,if I got anything to do with
it,she gonna forget alabout him.

Maybe if he hit her in
the head with a brick.

Well,you got a whole day.

You got plenty of time.

Hey,doc.

Hey,chris.

Hey,tasha,what's up?

My grandmother just told me we're
not going to our church this s Y.

She wants me to do the pageant
at her old church in queens.

Queens?

Sorry.

The lord giveth and
the lord taketh away.

Now let's go to commercial
before I start cursing.

Even though tasha was going
to another church on easter,

I wasn't gonna let that
stop me from going with her.

Hey,tasha,wait up.

What?

What time is the easter pageant
at your grandmother's old church.

After the early service at 4:00. Why?

I'll be there.

Really?

Yeah,I'll be there.

Thanks,chris. I'll see you sunday.

while I was going all out for tasha,drew
and tonya were going all out to win.

We need to figure out a way
to get these eggs to church.

I got an idea.

Come over here.

This is where I hide
all my stuff from mommy.

Don't tell her.

I hope she doesn't have a gun in there.

All right,put the eggs in here.

Be careful.

Now all I got to do is convince daddy
to let me bring my baby doll to church.

Cool.

While drew and tonya were stacking the
deck,my mother was stacking her hat.

Girl,I have been working
on this hat all day.

You want to see it?

Yes! Open,open,open!

that's what I'm talking
about. That's a hat.

I just have to do one last thing.

What's wrong?

Ooh,that's a bad hat,girl!

Hattie's gonna wish she
never even messed with you!

And peacocks wished they'd
stayed out of your way,too.

By the time easter came,my family was working
on more schemes than a pop star in rehab.

Rochelle,I got some bad news.

What?

I have to work today.

I can go to the service,but
after that I have to leave.

No,he don'T.

What are you talking about?
Nobody works on easter.

He doesn't either.

Hey,what can I tell
ya? I just got the call.

I didn't hear the phone.

Never rang.

Maybe you were in the bathroom.

I wasn't in thbathroom.
I ain't hear it either.

- You hear the phone?
- I didn't hear the phone.

- You hear the phone?
- No,I didn't hear the phone.

Well,I answered it on the first ring.

No,he didn'T.

One of the guys got sick.

They're offering
quadruple double overtime.

Quadruple double overtime?

I never heard of that.
You heard of that?

Never heard of that. You heard of that?

No,I ain't heard of that.

I can't pass it up.

Well,it does sound like a lot omoney.

- It is.
- No,it's not.

- Well,who's gonna escort me in the easter hat show?
- Drew can.

Why I gotta go? How come you can't go?

- I gotta help tonya hunt eggs.
- I can help tonya hunt eggs.

Not if I can help it.

Nah,I don't want you
to mess your suit up.

You know what? Chris is right.

Drew can escort me. But,chris,I want you and
tonya in your seats clapping for me at 4:00.

4:00?

Yeah,that's what time
the fashion show starts.

Why,you got something better to do?

- Yeah.
- Nah.

Okay.

I didn't know how I was gonna
be in two places at once,

but I wasn't gonna risk
blowing it with tasha.

By the time we got to church,the
hat show hadn't started,

- but the competition was already on...
- Praise the lord.

- Hi,girl.
- I saved you all some seats.

Okay. Go in.

Praise the lord,brother brown.

How you been? All right.

Girl,I have not seen you in a
month of sundays. How you been?

Nning.

Sister rochelle.

Sister hattie.

Imagine what they would have called
each other if they weren't in church.

Happy easter,everybody.

Happy easter.

Four Hours Later

- Can the church say amen?
- Amen.

- Let me get a hallelujah.
- Hallelujah!

- Praise the lord!
- Praise the lord!

Hey,baby...

I have to go to work,so
I'll see you all after.

Okay,baby.

But since I'm making a little
more money,you don't have to cook.

So buy a plate for everybody.

Nice touch.

Hey,mom,me and tonya are gonna go
get a head start on the egg hunt.

- Okay,I want you back by 4:00 though.
- We will

So,I guess it's just me and you,drew.

Yeah,I guess so.

Where you going?

I'm gonna meet tasha in queens.

I'm gonna tell on you.

What about all those eggs you snuck in?

You don't tell on
me,I won't tell on you.

Fine.

When a good plan falls apart,you
usually have no idea it did...

until it's too late.

What happened?

I was doing prince splits
and I hurt my ankle.

Oh,no. What are we gonna do?

We should take him to the hospital.

No,I'm talking about the hat show.

Who's gonna escort me?

Well,if you want to quit,quit,but
don't bring the children in it.

What?

Don't act shocked.
I've seen it all before.

I am not pulling out
of this competition.

So,I suggest that you work
on your second-place smile,

'cause I'm taking this grand prize home.

where's julius?

He left for work. Ooh,you
know what?Go get chris.

She was going to get
me,but I was getting tasha.

Chris,you made it.

Told you I would.

I got to tasha,not only did I look
good,I was making robert look rlly bad.

You know,my grandmother said you
were just another no-account negro

who never kept his promises or
took care of his responsibilities,

and would eventually end up leaving
me in the cold with a runny-nosed baby.

Then we'd be on jerry springer.

Nah. I wouldn't do that.

She's probably thinking about robert.

Yeah,but I don't wa to talk about him.

Good.

Well,we'd better get going.

Looks like the pageant's going
to start in a little while.

Tonya?

Ooh,where did you get all those eggs?

Did you hijack a chicken?

I've just been looking really hard.

Well,where's chris?

Think fast,woman.

Uh,he's looking for eggs.

Well,we need to find him.

Drew sprained his ankle,so he needs
to escort your mother to the hat show.

Come on,girl.

Come on,girl!

Meanwhile,the only thing my dad
was working was the remote control.

Strike? What are you talking about?

That was low and inside! Come on.

You got him. Come on.You got him.

Oh,man!

Across town,tasha had lost a
boyfriend and won a pageant,

and I was there to collect the prize.

What makes you
think he's going to be here?

Well,he wasn't at doc's or the
playground or the barbershop.

Maybe he's here.

What are y'all doing here?

We're looking for chris.
What are you doing here?

Where's chris?

Vanessa: Well,we don't know,that's
why we're trying to find him.

Drew sprained his ankle-- there's
nobody to be rochelle's escort.

I thought you had to work.

I did. I-I just came
here to get changed.

I was just catching a little
bit of the game before I went in.

Looks like you caught more than
just a little bit of the game.

Tonya: Well,somebody needs to go back to
church and escort mama through the hat show,

or we're all going to get in trouble.

Okay,okay.

We'll just keep this between us.

You,them and a five dollar bill.

well,now,this year our fashion show
has been nothing less than spectacular.

now I believe it's the best
hat-off we've had in years.

Does the church agree?

Preacher: Well,I see the
dges have made their decision.

For the past three years,sister
rochelle has swept the competition.

Hallelujah!

But this easter,our newest
member,sister hattie,

brings a wealth of hat
expertise and her awards,too.

Damn

I'm sorry.

but this year's winner and
still champ is sister rochelle.

♪ her easter hat won the hat show ♪

♪ rochelle's new hat
four years in a row ♪

♪ she can't believe
that she beat hattie ♪

♪ this easter hat is the
hat that made history ♪

where's chris? Where's chris?

Re I am!

By the end of the day,I thought it
would be different between me and tasha.

Hey chris,thanks for coming
to my pageant with me.

I had a good time.

Me,too.

So,I was thinking,you want to
do something together sometime?

Robert?

Where's a meteor when you need one?

I'm sorry.

You should be.

Man,why don't you go somewhere?

She doesn't want to talk to you.

It's okay,chris.

No,it's not.

- I want to hear this.
- No,You don'T.

I didn't mean to call you stupid.

Yes,he did.

- And I'm sorry.
- No,he's not.

For real?

- Yes.
- No!

Don't do it again.

Ain't this about A...

I heard you won the easter pageant.

Yeah,no thanks to you.

Unfortunately for me,that
was a great easter,

except the wrong person
came back after three days.

That feels good.

You'll be okay,baby.

I'm proud of you.

- I'll go get dinner.
- Thank you,baby.

You okay?

uh,I'll get it.

What's wrong with you?

I ate all the candy I won
at the easter egg hunt.

May I be excused,please?

Go upstairs. I'll check on you later.

Thank you.

Okay.

Hey,dad.

When you get done,can I
have some more frozen peas?

Frozen peas?

What are you doing
prince splits for anyway?

Between bandages,frozen
vegetables And cleaning your suit,

that's $14.86 worth of split.

I'll bring your peas in a minute.

Okay.

Happy easter.

Come on in,baby,sit down. Who was that?

Your job.

It was?

They want you to come
in and work tonight.

- They do?
- Yeah.

You know,it funny because I told them that you just
came from work to escort me in the easter hat show.

But they said you hadn't
been to work all day.

Quadruple double overtime,huh?

What's going on?

Hey,chris,hey,how you doing?

Oh,you must be hungry.

Look,um,there's extra 'cause tonya's sk.

Come on,drew.

I can't walk.

Oh,we'll bring you some later.

I'll get it.

Julius: You sure?

Yes,I'm sure.

You've worked enough today.

Oh,hi,taa.

Is chris here?

He is,but we're having
dinner at the moment.

Oh,I'm sorry.

I just wanted to drop
these pictures off for him.

And...

thanks for letting chris come to queens
and escort me in the easter pageant.

You are so welcome.

And thank you.

- Happy easter.
- You,too.

Okay.

Chris...

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0