All language subtitles for Empty Nest s04e23 Final Analysis.eng

Now, you young'uns,

quiet down in here.

This is a doctor's office.

Not a place where
kids can be real loud.

Hoo, that one
needs a little work.

Bye-bye, sweetheart. See you.

Laverne, come on. Who's next?

Room one. You got a new patient.

Barry tapper. Age 11, check-up.

- Come, let's take a look.
- Yeah.

Wait till you get
a load of this one.

Hi, I'm Dr. Weston, Barry.
How are you doing?

Not great.
Weather's getting to me.

A little smoggy - really?

And I'm talking smoggy.

I saw a skywriter
using a hammer and chisel.

Oh!

Oh. That's a good one.
There you go.

Take it easy, pal.

You do that one more time,

you're gonna have to marry me.

Well, I see you just
moved here from Denver.

And boy, are my arms tired.

Well, hey, what do you expect?

You gave me a lousy set-up.

Yeah, come on.

Well, you look like
you're in pretty good shape.

- You feeling okay?
- Great.

How are things
at the new school?

- Terrible.
- Really.

Kids today.

These second graders
are so dumb,

it takes them two weeks to get
through the weekly reader.

Lordy. He just doesn't stop,
does he?

Whoa. A reject from
fried green tomatoes.

Nice accent, nurse.

Let me make you feel at home.

Hay ride.

Doctor, could I speak to you
privately for a moment?

Excuse me, I'll be right back.

Doctor, would you mind terribly

if I went out in the parkin' lot
and cut me a switch?

Laverne, the boy
just moved here.

He's starting in a new school.

He thinks this is a way of
getting people to like him.

It ain't working with me.

Well, I've seen this
kind of thing a million times.

It'll pass. It's a simple
adjustment problem.

Hurry up, sawbones.

You keep me waiting much longer,

you're gonna have to
check my prostate.

Good morning, Barbie-Barb.

Carol, don't be mad,
I'm just the messenger.

Bob stern just called.
He broke your date tonight.

That's fine. His loss.

Carol, is that really you?

For the first time in my life,
I am happy to say, yes.

Carol, did you hear what I said?

- He broke your date.
- I know.

I mean, it was
the flimsiest of excuses.

He has the latest newsweek,
and he wants to finish it.

That's okay.
That's certainly his choice.

Carol, I thought
you really liked this guy.

I do, but no big deal.

I've come to realize
that a broken date

is not the end of the world,
thanks to Dr. Grossman.

You mean, that therapy crap
really works?

After eight years,
I am beginning to see

the light
at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe it's the headlights
of the train to the loony bin.

And why am I laughing?

Because I'm mentally fit
and ready to take on

whatever cruelty the world
can foist upon me.

Hey, westons.

Oh, gross.

What? Food gone bad?

No, I can see Carol's
reflection in the crisper.

Charley.

No, no, Barbara, I for one
enjoy a good morning chuckle.

- Wow!
- Charley, have you eaten?

Can I get you some breakfast?

Yes, that would be very nice.

Great.

Call the guys with the net.

No, Charley.
You've got it all wrong.

Carol's doing great
with her therapy.

Right.

And I like to sneak fat women
across state lines.

Charley, Dr. Grossman
has made me a new person.

All those crazy fears I had
are gone.

It's amazing.

This morning, I read
that killer bees

will be here by the year 2000,
and I don't care.

Let them come.

Come on, bees.
Come one, come all.

Hey, Barry.

Ah, here they are.

Mr. Rogers
without the personality,

and minnie Pearl,
without the price tag.

- What happened?
- Wayne Parker.

I did the joke,
he did the punchline.

And why am I not surprised?

Hey, country,

don't I hear some butter
that needs churning?

I have had just
about enough of your...

Laverne, would you please
give Sally her shot now?

All righty.

But, you just remember,
I know where you park your bike.

Let me see.

You know, Barry,
there might be some better ways

of making friends at school

other than just cracking jokes
all the time.

The white zone is for
loading and unloading only.

The white zone is...

all right. All right.

No, your eye is okay. It's...

You got a bad bruise but...

You ever think of having
a normal conversation, you know,

- without being funny?
- No.

I know it works for you.

But it's not my style.

Did you act like this

back in your old school
in Denver?

Well, no.

And were those kids
your friends?

Yeah.

So, you didn't need
the jokes, did you?

- I guess not.
- No, I didn't think so.

You know, without the jokes,
I think the kids here

would like you just as much
as the kids back in Denver.

Why don't you give it a try?
I don't know, doc.

All righty, Sally.

You wait for your momma
in the waitin' room.

That's Sally. She's in my class.

Hi, Barry.

I'm sorry to hear about
what Wayne did to you.

He didn't lay a finger on me.

A fist, yes.

Hey, if you think
that's funny, okay.

A rabbi, a priest, and
a minister are in a rowboat...

whoa! Excuse me.

Excuse us, Sally. Come here.

Listen, this is a chance to
see what it's like

to just sit down with somebody
and talk with them.

Sally seems to like you.

Really? How can you tell?

Well, she didn't hit you.

Dr. Grossman,
we were flying at 30,000 feet.

We hit major turbulence,
I didn't care.

- Mm-hm.
- There was an attractive,

charming attorney
in the next seat.

He was more interested
in the in-flight magazine

than me, but, I didn't care.

Mm-hmm.

The stewardess spilled
thousand island dressing

on my new silk blouse,
but doctor, I laughed it off.

- I didn't care.
- Mm-hm.

Carol, you've come a long way.
Thank you, Dr. Grossman.

Thank you. I owe it all to you.

It's hard to believe
I'm the same insecure woman

who walked in here
eight years ago,

constantly
looking for validation.

I am much better. Aren't I?

Carol, you've made incredible
progress these past years,

but if we're
going to go further,

there's just one more issue
we need to discuss.

A breakthrough. I knew it.

I could feel it. What is it?

Tell me. Tell me.

Carol, I hope
you're ready for this.

Oh, I am. I'm ready.
I'm ready. Tell me.

Oh, wait... wait... wait... wait.

Let me center myself first.

All right.

I'm centered.

Now tell me. Go! Start! Tell!

Okay. This morning,

I was reviewing your history
and something occurred to me...

oh, I get it.

You want me to come
to the realization on my own.

All right.

You want me to be less abrasive.

Deal more from
the left side of my brain.

From the right side of my brain.

The back of my brain.

Eh! I lose.

All right, Dr. Grossman,

what is this insight
that may change my life?

Dr. Grossman?

Oh, I get it.

You're helping me deal
with my fear of death.

This isn't helping.

Carol, come on. You haven't
had solid food in two days.

Let me fix you something.
You're right.

Maybe I should eat something.

Good. What do you want?

A double chili cheeseburger
and a side of fries.

A double chili cheeseburger?
You?

I killed my therapist,
I might as well kill myself.

Carol, you didn't kill Grossman.

Oh, please, there's probably
a zapruder film of our session.

Carol, he's gone.

You have to move on
with your life.

Why did he do this to me?

Why did he abandon me?

Come on, Carol, please pep up.

You have a funeral to go to.

I can't deal with this.

He was my rock.
He was always there for me.

How can I go to his funeral
without talking to him?

He'll be there.

Maybe I could talk to him
at the funeral.

Carol, have you ever heard of
"rest in peace"?

Barbara, you don't understand.

Dr. Grossman
had a window to my soul.

For eight years,
this man lived in my head.

Maybe he went to a better place.

Dreyfie, come here.
Come here, dreyfie.

Oh, dreyfuss.

You're the only
nonjudgmental soul

I have left to talk to.

Where do I begin?

Oh, Dreyfus. How cute.

You're playing dead.

This isn't helping.

Honey. Honey.

I keep on telling you,
it wasn't your fault.

You didn't kill anybody.

I... uh... baby, calm down.
All right? Good.

And we'll talk about this
when I get home.

All right. Bye.

Oh, my lord.

Barbara killed someone
in a shootout?

No, it was Carol.

Carol killed someone
in a shootout?

No, Carol was
at her therapist, and...

He died while
she was talking to him.

Yeah. She sucks the life,
outta everybody.

Well, room one,
back by popular demand,

the pint-sized uncle miltie.

Hey, Barry.

I guess you told
one joke too many again?

I didn't tell any jokes.

So, how'd you get
this black eye?

I took your advice.

I talked to Sally all normal,

and asked her to be
my girlfriend.

- So, what happened?
- She said yes.

Unfortunately,
her boyfriend said no.

Oh, Barry. Barry. Barry.

I'm so sorry
this happened to you.

No... no... no... no. That's okay.

Sally's really neat,
and the best thing is,

is that she really likes me.

For you, not the jokes.

Duh!

Hey, you can't just expect me
to go cold Turkey.

You wait here a second.

I'll get you some cold packs

to take home with you.

- Laverne.
- Where do you reckon

he picked up
all those bad jokes anyway?

He probably watches
too much of the comedy channel.

Hey... hey... hey... hey.
Where's my grandson, Barry?

Boy, is it smoggy out there.

I tell you,
I just saw a bird outside

and he was coughing.

Nothing, huh?
I'll tell you how smoggy it was.

I saw a skywriter,

he was working with
a hammer and a screwdriver.

- Chisel.
- Chisel.

What are you, a wise guy?

Everybody's a comedian. Doctor.

I hope you're a lot better
than the last doctor I went to.

I got a kidney transplant
from a bed-wetter.

Hey, how 'bout
those shopping centers...

hi, Barbara. How's Carol?

Any better yet?

Three days ago,
she was closing in on normal.

Now, she's the Carol
of eight years ago.

Broccoli.

Well, these are for Carol.
I'd like to see her.

Charley, did you steal those
out of old man hetzel's garden?

Barbara, please.

I bought these at
a very exclusive off-ramp.

Hi, Carol.

Charley.

I heard about what happened
and I'm sorry.

Thank you, Charley.

Carol, look, I know this is
a difficult time for you

and I wasn't sure how to
deal with the situation,

so I talked to the therapist
on the ship.

You have a therapist
on the ship?

Yeah. Eric.

He doubles as
a skeet shooting instructor.

Well, what did he say?

He said death
is not to be feared,

but to be accepted as part
of the natural order of things.

Pull!

Well, thank you very much
for visiting, Charley.

But, I'm afraid nothing you say
can make me feel better.

Carol, you got to look
at the positive side, okay.

Sure, Grossman's
not down here helping you,

but he's up there helping them,
giving them therapy.

- Them?
- Yeah.

Tuesdays at 10:00, you got
Abe Lincoln on the couch.

Problems with the wife.

Next, ponce de Leon.

Midlife crisis.

Then it's time for Beethoven.

You're going to be okay, Ludwig!

- Charley.
- Carol, don't be upset.

Before you know it,
you'll kick the bucket,

and then you'll be up
on Grossman's couch

- for all eternity.
- Barbara!

What? I was Sincere.

Thank you, Barbara.

I must've gone through
a dozen of these.

14.

Everyone was staring at me
at the funeral.

Don't worry, nobody noticed you

sobbing into the tree trunk.

It was so sad.

He was only 46 and I killed him.

Carol, for the last time,
you didn't kill him.

Now you got to stop
blaming yourself.

Nobody else does.
Maybe you're right.

Oh, hi.

You're the one
that killed Grossman.

I'm Dee Dee broder.
2:00 wednesdays.

Carol Weston.

5:00 Tuesdays,
Thursdays, and Fridays.

This is Carol Weston.
She's the one who...

Killed Dr. Grossman.

She's the one
who killed Grossman.

Oh, she's the one
who killed him?

She's a patient of death.
Look at her.

We're sorry, Carol.

It's just that Dr. Grossman
was helping each one of us

with a deep personal crisis.

Yes. I lost my husband
to a taller, thinner,

Scandinavian woman.

I know your pain.

I can never get my salmon
mousse out of the mold.

Try hot water.

Kate, this is Carol.

Hi, Kate. How are you?

I'm doing much, much better.

Good.

God, if these women
were honey roasted,

we could hand them out
on airplanes.

What's that?
His Wednesday night group.

Thank you for coming
to our home.

I'm Mrs. Grossman.
Oh, are you his wife?

I'm Craig's mother.

He lived here with me.

Your therapist
lived with his mother?

I'm Carol Weston.
This is my sister, Barbara.

Oh. So, you're Carol.

Yes. But, I can explain.

Carol, I understand.

It wasn't your fault.

Oh, thank you.

Oh.

Did he gasp much?

Mrs. Grossman,
before your son died,

I was on the verge
of a major breakthrough.

Did your son ever say
anything about me?

About my case, in particular?

Oh, he never talked to me
about his patients.

He kept it all in his files.

Oh, would you excuse me, please.

Sheila. Neil.

How thoughtful.

Macaroni salad.

Everyone, refreshments
in the kitchen.

Cake, coffee, macaroni.

Barbara, come back here.

What? I love macaroni salad.

After I find the answer
to my life.

Carol, these files are
confidential, aren't they?

- No.
- Carol.

Barbara, if I don't see
what's in those files,

I'm going to be like this
forever.

Hurry.

Okay. Simpson, waters, waxman...

Weston. Here you are.

November 15th.

This was the day
my divorce became final.

I remember that.
It was a grueling session.

Too loud at times.

All right, I do have a tendency
to be sort of strident.

Excessive feedback.

Obviously, I didn't leave him
enough room for interpretation.

Dolby sound, graphic equalizer,

check prices at stereo barn?

What's this have to do with you?

Sounds like he was
shopping for a stereo.

April 3rd.
That was the day they canceled

thirtysomething.
God, I was a mess.

He wrote "get Mercedes waxed."

May 10th.

Check theater for
Steve & eydie tickets.

God, it's like he wasn't
even listening to me.

All right, Carol,
this is bumming you out.

- Let's just put it away.
- No.

I can't believe
that's the only thing in here.

He said he had something
important to tell me.

Here it is, the final session.

Be sure to inform Carol of...

Fee increase.

That's it?

That's what he wanted
to tell me?

That was his big revelation,

that he was going to
raise my rates?

Carol.

Barbara, do you know this means?

The man was a fraud.

I was pouring out my soul to him
for eight years,

and all he was thinking
about were stereos,

and cars, and Steve & eydie.

My whole therapy's been a sham.

Well, that's really weird

because you really have
been better lately.

Wait a second, I just had
the most incredible insight.

Despite his lack of guidance,

I really have been better,
lately.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like you've
been doing it all yourself.

Shh! Shh! Shh!
I'm onto something here.

You almost knocked it
out of my head.

It's almost like I've been
doing it all myself.

It doesn't seem to me

that Dr. Grossman
has helped you at all.

Would you be quiet?

In the final analysis,

Grossman
hasn't helped me at all.

- I did it.
- Right!

Of course,
that's right, Barbara.

After eight years of therapy,
one knows these things.

I feel imbued.

Shh! They're coming back.

Let's go.

Okay. But first, can we have
some macaroni salad?

I feel so angry at Dr. Grossman.

So cheated.

I just wish there was some way
that I could get back at him.

Carol, you killed the guy.
What more do you want?

Here's my grandson
Barry's insurance forms.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

You know, my doctor
won't take insurance.

Imagine that.
He's an acupuncturist.

He always tells me,
"take two needles

and call me in the morning."

Isn't it awful, the bills today?

Who can afford to live?
When I was a kid,

I was so poor
I slept with four brothers.

We were five on one bed.

I never knew
what it was to sleep alone

until I got married.

Are you kiddin'?
We were so poor,

my mother used to sew
rubber pockets in my coat,

so I could steal soup.
Steal soup.

But it's just terrible
what's going on today.

But, you know, I love Miami.

Miami is wonderful though,

but nothing happens
after 10:00...

In the morning.

And Miami's like
the old people that live there.

You know, in the '80s,
with occasional wetness.

That's the weather in Miami.

I got in the elevator
in Miami the other day.

There was a naked lady there.

I said, hey, my wife's
got an outfit just like that.

Only hers is wrinkled. See?

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0