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1
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Life goes on
2
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,302
and so do we
3
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,637
just how we do
4
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,074
is no mystery
5
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:10,876
one by one
6
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,878
we fill the days
7
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:17,516
we find a thousand
different ways
8
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,618
Sometimes the answer
9
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,820
can be hard to find
10
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,456
that's something
I will never be
11
00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:26,525
I'm always here
12
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,495
for anything that you need
13
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,497
Rain or shine
14
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,833
I'll be the one
15
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,837
to share it all
as life goes on
16
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:43,542
We share it all
17
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:48,647
as life goes on
18
00:01:02,073 --> 00:01:03,596
bye.
19
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:05,653
Mrs. bedlow called
with an emergency.
20
00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:07,188
Little Jenny
had a terrible fall.
21
00:01:07,223 --> 00:01:08,589
Well, come on,
we ought to get her in here.
22
00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:10,591
Not necessary, she put peroxide
23
00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:12,904
and a band-aid on her knee...
Everything's all right.
24
00:01:13,129 --> 00:01:15,641
- Well, that's good.
- Not really.
25
00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:18,499
She called back again.
26
00:01:18,534 --> 00:01:21,471
She thinks jennie may have drunk
some of that peroxide.
27
00:01:21,838 --> 00:01:23,571
Well, that's very serious.
28
00:01:23,606 --> 00:01:24,972
Come on, well, rush her in here.
29
00:01:25,008 --> 00:01:27,041
Well, no need to.
Turns out it was lemonade.
30
00:01:27,076 --> 00:01:28,851
Everything will be fine.
31
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,547
Laverne, why are you telling
me all this?
32
00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:34,815
I want you to know the kind
33
00:01:34,851 --> 00:01:37,760
of emotional roller coaster
I ride every day...
34
00:01:38,855 --> 00:01:40,021
To help you understand
35
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:42,431
the Genesis of my mild sarcasm.
36
00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,459
Thank you for sharing that.
Laverne, please, who's next?
37
00:01:45,495 --> 00:01:46,627
Room one, sore throat,
38
00:01:46,663 --> 00:01:48,629
insisted on coming in
without an appointment.
39
00:01:48,665 --> 00:01:51,496
Oh, Laverne, we never
turn away a sick child.
40
00:01:56,773 --> 00:01:57,959
Hey, Harry.
41
00:01:57,990 --> 00:02:00,341
Charley, what are you doing
with my donkey and horse?
42
00:02:00,865 --> 00:02:03,051
Making mules, I think.
43
00:02:03,413 --> 00:02:05,857
Charley, give me that.
Come over here.
44
00:02:06,716 --> 00:02:07,948
All right, come on, Charley,
45
00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,950
what is this about,
what, a sore throat?
46
00:02:09,986 --> 00:02:11,952
Well, I've had this pain for
a while, and it's getting worse.
47
00:02:11,988 --> 00:02:13,154
So, naturally, I thought
48
00:02:13,189 --> 00:02:14,455
I'd come see my old friend
Harry Weston,
49
00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:17,553
or as I like to call him,
Dr. gratis.
50
00:02:18,528 --> 00:02:21,729
Charley, I send you a bill
every time you come in here.
51
00:02:21,764 --> 00:02:23,998
Yeah, and I pass it along
to my accountant,
52
00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:26,404
Mr. big, fat trash man.
53
00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:30,009
Charley, could you limit
your comments to, "ah"?
54
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,606
- Ah.
- Okay, ah.
55
00:02:31,641 --> 00:02:32,607
- Ah.
- Ah.
56
00:02:32,642 --> 00:02:34,175
- Ah.
- Agh!
57
00:02:34,211 --> 00:02:35,476
Ooh, boy.
58
00:02:35,512 --> 00:02:37,845
Charley, your tonsils
are pretty inflamed.
59
00:02:37,881 --> 00:02:39,189
Thank you.
60
00:02:40,217 --> 00:02:42,650
No, no, Charley, that means
you need a tonsillectomy.
61
00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:44,519
What?
62
00:02:44,554 --> 00:02:45,787
Charley, there's nothing
to worry about.
63
00:02:45,822 --> 00:02:47,822
I know an excellent e.N.T. Man.
What's that?
64
00:02:47,857 --> 00:02:50,425
It's a doctor who only treats
ears, noses, and throats.
65
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:52,126
I don't want some quack
66
00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:54,771
who was too lazy
to study the whole body.
67
00:02:55,899 --> 00:02:58,199
I need somebody I can trust.
68
00:02:58,235 --> 00:02:59,539
I need you.
69
00:02:59,803 --> 00:03:02,837
Charley, I haven't done
a tonsillectomy in 25 years.
70
00:03:02,872 --> 00:03:04,939
Oh, come on, Harry, please.
71
00:03:04,975 --> 00:03:08,509
I never had an operation before,
and I'm scared.
72
00:03:08,545 --> 00:03:10,712
Charley, come on,
it's routine surgery.
73
00:03:10,747 --> 00:03:13,381
Can you absolutely,
positively guarantee me
74
00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:14,749
I won't die?
75
00:03:15,859 --> 00:03:18,119
Well, I mean,
no doctor can do that.
76
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,220
Thanks for the pep talk.
77
00:03:19,256 --> 00:03:20,688
All right, Charley.
All right, wait.
78
00:03:20,724 --> 00:03:22,090
I'll tell you what I'll do.
79
00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:24,459
I will arrange it that I can be
with you during surgery.
80
00:03:24,494 --> 00:03:26,661
And I'll make sure
nothing goes wrong.
81
00:03:26,696 --> 00:03:28,229
- Thanks, Harry.
- Yeah, all right.
82
00:03:28,265 --> 00:03:30,565
I'll send you your bill,
Mr. dietz.
83
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,467
Yeah, and I'll give it
to my accountant.
84
00:03:39,909 --> 00:03:42,877
Die, pig scum, take that.
85
00:03:42,912 --> 00:03:44,545
And that.
86
00:03:44,581 --> 00:03:45,913
And that.
87
00:03:47,450 --> 00:03:49,784
I guess that bungles the clown
88
00:03:49,819 --> 00:03:51,686
won't be squirting his seltzer
at us anymore.
89
00:03:53,356 --> 00:03:54,722
Oh, hi, Mr. Patrick.
90
00:03:54,758 --> 00:03:57,762
I hate Mr. Patrick.
91
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,696
Look, girls, it's Mr. Patrick
from next door.
92
00:04:01,731 --> 00:04:04,232
We haven't had a visit from you
in a very long while.
93
00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:06,601
Well, maybe that's something
to do with the fact
94
00:04:06,636 --> 00:04:10,371
that you westons are...
How can I put this?
95
00:04:10,407 --> 00:04:13,541
The worst neighbors
a man could hope to have.
96
00:04:14,285 --> 00:04:15,877
It's not enough, Weston,
97
00:04:15,912 --> 00:04:18,346
that your sprinkler gets
my car wet after I wash it,
98
00:04:18,381 --> 00:04:20,548
or your nectarines
fall on my pansies,
99
00:04:20,583 --> 00:04:22,050
or your friends' motorcycles
100
00:04:22,085 --> 00:04:23,918
roar off
in the middle of the night.
101
00:04:27,390 --> 00:04:29,424
This time you've gone too far.
102
00:04:29,459 --> 00:04:31,359
Mr. Patrick, take it easy now.
103
00:04:31,394 --> 00:04:33,294
Whatever is the problem here,
I'm sure we can clear it up.
104
00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:36,364
I'm going to be a grandfather,
and it's all your fault.
105
00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:42,236
Mr. Patrick,
what are you talking about?
106
00:04:42,272 --> 00:04:44,143
I'm talking about him.
107
00:04:44,874 --> 00:04:46,174
You.
108
00:04:49,479 --> 00:04:51,512
You ruined my baby.
109
00:04:55,559 --> 00:04:56,584
What?
110
00:04:56,619 --> 00:04:59,392
Heidi, my golden retriever...
Your dog has...
111
00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:01,754
Had his way with her.
112
00:05:03,326 --> 00:05:04,859
She's pregnant.
113
00:05:04,894 --> 00:05:06,728
Well, what makes you think
it was dreyfuss?
114
00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:08,635
I mean, look at him.
He doesn't even move.
115
00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:12,166
I said he debauched my dog.
116
00:05:12,202 --> 00:05:14,001
I didn't say
he was a great lover.
117
00:05:16,339 --> 00:05:19,248
All I know is my Heidi
is two months pregnant.
118
00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:22,510
Well, it wasn't dreyfuss.
He's very well-behaved.
119
00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:25,690
And besides, everyone knows
your Heidi is a slut.
120
00:05:29,603 --> 00:05:31,790
Yeah, the way she struts around
121
00:05:31,814 --> 00:05:34,083
in that rhinestone collar...
122
00:05:35,351 --> 00:05:37,631
She might as well
be wearing nothing.
123
00:05:40,189 --> 00:05:43,190
Well, I can certainly see
where your dog gets it from.
124
00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:51,432
Mr. Patrick, I'm gonna turn on
my sprinklers now.
125
00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:53,777
Oh...
126
00:05:55,404 --> 00:05:58,818
You saw me turtle-waxing
all day, didn't you?
127
00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:01,460
All right, I'm leaving.
128
00:06:01,668 --> 00:06:04,578
But I know what you did.
129
00:06:05,418 --> 00:06:07,314
You know what you did.
130
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:10,712
God knows what you did.
131
00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:25,499
Mr. dietz, I'm your ward nurse.
132
00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:27,816
All right!
133
00:06:29,398 --> 00:06:31,872
I'm sorry you were put
in the pediatrics ward.
134
00:06:31,907 --> 00:06:33,540
It seems that when admittance
heard you were.
135
00:06:33,576 --> 00:06:35,809
Dr. Weston's patient,
they assumed you were a child.
136
00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:39,580
Well, I could use
some mothering.
137
00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:44,051
As I was saying, we'd like
to move you to another floor,
138
00:06:44,086 --> 00:06:45,319
but all the beds are filled.
139
00:06:45,354 --> 00:06:47,756
Mine's only half filled.
140
00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:52,660
Mr. dietz, don't make me
shave you unnecessarily.
141
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:56,281
She wants me bad.
142
00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,734
Let's play 20 questions.
Go ahead, Charley. You start.
143
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:01,902
Do you remember the rules?
144
00:07:01,937 --> 00:07:05,582
Sure, I get 20 questions.
Let's see.
145
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,242
- Is it a person?
- Yes.
146
00:07:08,277 --> 00:07:09,610
All right!
147
00:07:09,645 --> 00:07:11,045
- Is he living?
- Yes.
148
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,747
- Okay, I got 18 left, right?
- Yeah.
149
00:07:13,783 --> 00:07:15,749
Oh, I just used one.
150
00:07:15,785 --> 00:07:17,898
That one leaves me 17, huh?
Yeah.
151
00:07:17,924 --> 00:07:19,823
Oh, I just did it again.
152
00:07:19,859 --> 00:07:21,625
- Didn't I?
- Yes.
153
00:07:21,661 --> 00:07:23,327
Oh, darn!
154
00:07:23,362 --> 00:07:26,009
Okay, boys, visiting hours.
155
00:07:28,935 --> 00:07:30,901
Gee, I forgot
all about visiting hours.
156
00:07:30,937 --> 00:07:32,403
Uh, anybody here for me?
157
00:07:32,438 --> 00:07:33,706
Sorry.
158
00:07:39,912 --> 00:07:41,925
Don't mind me, guys.
159
00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:47,851
Hey, hey, hey.
Your pre-op tests are fine.
160
00:07:47,887 --> 00:07:49,421
Are you Charley's father?
161
00:07:52,391 --> 00:07:54,329
No, no, no, don't be silly.
162
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,465
I'm his pediatrician.
163
00:07:58,497 --> 00:08:00,537
Hey, Charley, what's
the matter with your parents?
164
00:08:00,566 --> 00:08:02,858
Why didn't they come?
Hey, I'm a grownup.
165
00:08:03,029 --> 00:08:04,802
But if I wanted,
they'd be here in a second.
166
00:08:04,837 --> 00:08:06,930
It's just that they're far away.
167
00:08:07,273 --> 00:08:08,882
They're in the south.
168
00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:12,416
Charley, this is the south.
169
00:08:13,412 --> 00:08:15,691
Pole... south pole.
170
00:08:15,948 --> 00:08:17,915
That's where they are,
the south pole.
171
00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:19,516
I'd call 'em,
but there's a lot of trouble
172
00:08:19,552 --> 00:08:21,290
with the phone system there.
You know...
173
00:08:22,061 --> 00:08:23,917
South pole bell.
174
00:08:25,791 --> 00:08:27,130
Oh, well...
175
00:08:27,426 --> 00:08:29,159
Okay, Charley, listen,
I got to get going.
176
00:08:29,195 --> 00:08:30,394
Oh, Harry, don't go.
177
00:08:30,429 --> 00:08:31,962
Charley, I've got
other patients to see.
178
00:08:31,998 --> 00:08:34,144
Oh, I just... I'd like to chat
for a minute.
179
00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:36,233
Okay, come on,
but just for a minute.
180
00:08:36,269 --> 00:08:37,357
Right.
181
00:08:38,337 --> 00:08:39,877
Tell me a story.
182
00:08:41,841 --> 00:08:44,441
Once upon a time,
there was a pediatrician
183
00:08:44,477 --> 00:08:48,746
who had one patient
who monopolized all his time,
184
00:08:48,781 --> 00:08:50,748
and he couldn't see
his other patients,
185
00:08:50,783 --> 00:08:52,750
and he lost his license.
186
00:08:52,785 --> 00:08:55,653
- Then what?
- Oh, Charley.
187
00:08:55,688 --> 00:08:57,721
Oh, there you are. What are
you doing dawdlin' up here?
188
00:08:57,757 --> 00:08:59,423
The waitin' room's
backed up already.
189
00:08:59,458 --> 00:09:02,393
All right. Charley, I'm sorry
to have to put an end to...
190
00:09:02,428 --> 00:09:04,995
Whatever the hell this just was,
but I got to go.
191
00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:07,197
- Oh, Laverne, wait.
- What is it?
192
00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:10,401
You know, Laverne, we never
really had the chance to chat,
193
00:09:10,436 --> 00:09:11,902
to get to know each other.
194
00:09:11,937 --> 00:09:13,211
Mm-hmm.
195
00:09:16,184 --> 00:09:17,450
So...
196
00:09:18,144 --> 00:09:19,677
Hail from Dixie, eh?
197
00:09:19,712 --> 00:09:21,416
Uh-huh.
198
00:09:22,548 --> 00:09:25,318
I hear the old times there
are not forgotten.
199
00:09:26,118 --> 00:09:28,461
And I'm gonna look away now.
200
00:09:33,225 --> 00:09:34,858
And after
your operation, Norman,
201
00:09:34,894 --> 00:09:37,428
we'll have a big coming-home
party for you, okay?
202
00:09:37,463 --> 00:09:39,229
And... and you can invite
all your new friends.
203
00:09:39,265 --> 00:09:41,899
Hey, I can't wait!
204
00:09:41,934 --> 00:09:44,501
No, I'm sorry, but I was
speaking about the children.
205
00:09:44,537 --> 00:09:46,704
Aw, mom, Charley's cool.
206
00:09:46,739 --> 00:09:49,699
He taught me how to undress
women with my eyes.
207
00:09:56,682 --> 00:09:59,417
Here, books are good
when you're alone.
208
00:10:01,287 --> 00:10:02,986
Dr. burroughs...
209
00:10:03,022 --> 00:10:05,622
Please, call 125 west,
Dr. burroughs.
210
00:10:11,564 --> 00:10:13,239
Hi, ma?
211
00:10:13,566 --> 00:10:14,945
It's Charley.
212
00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:17,714
Hey, I'm in the hospital
for some surgery and...
213
00:10:19,439 --> 00:10:21,047
Yeah, I'll hold.
214
00:10:36,274 --> 00:10:37,507
Oh, excuse me.
215
00:10:37,542 --> 00:10:39,906
Hey, Harry.
You're right on time.
216
00:10:39,938 --> 00:10:43,473
Hey, look, everybody,
visitor for the dietzter.
217
00:10:46,811 --> 00:10:48,878
Ah, so glad you made it, Harry...
I've been dying to hear
218
00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:51,681
the end of that "doctor loses
his license" story.
219
00:10:51,716 --> 00:10:53,216
Charley, never mind that.
220
00:10:53,251 --> 00:10:55,885
I got two people
who really want to see you.
221
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,186
Would you come on?
222
00:10:57,222 --> 00:10:58,779
Let go!
223
00:10:59,991 --> 00:11:01,691
Charley! Good news...
224
00:11:01,726 --> 00:11:04,152
I checked out your surgeon.
He has no priors.
225
00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,329
Ah, thanks, Barbara.
226
00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:09,532
Good evening, Charley.
227
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:11,601
Good luck
on your operation tomorrow.
228
00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:13,400
Hope you don't die.
229
00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:16,639
- Carol.
- What?
230
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,675
You told me to say
something nice.
231
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,615
As it was, I lied.
232
00:11:21,913 --> 00:11:23,613
- Mr. dietz?
- Yes?
233
00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,315
Your parents are on the way up.
234
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:28,518
- Really?
- Oh, so they made it after all.
235
00:11:28,553 --> 00:11:29,819
Ah, I never doubted it.
236
00:11:29,854 --> 00:11:31,921
Oh, I'm really looking
forward to meeting them.
237
00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:34,783
- I wonder what they're like.
- Look at what they did.
238
00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:37,482
Hey, ma!
239
00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:40,897
- Hey, dad.
- I'm shocked.
240
00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:43,266
They're not dragging
their knuckles across the floor.
241
00:11:43,301 --> 00:11:45,047
How's my baby?
242
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:48,177
- How are you, son?
- Hey, I'm great.
243
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,140
Mom, dad, these are my very good
friends, the westons.
244
00:11:51,176 --> 00:11:52,642
Harry, Barbara, Carol,
these are my folks...
245
00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:53,776
Fred and Ursula dietz.
246
00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:55,511
It's so nice
to finally meet you.
247
00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:59,248
Charley told us a lot
about you and your whole family.
248
00:11:59,284 --> 00:12:01,038
Don't worry. It wasn't all bad.
249
00:12:03,464 --> 00:12:05,003
Dad...
250
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:08,901
Anyway, Harry, I got to tell
you what a treat it was
251
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,569
that we finally...
252
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,571
Oh, my.
253
00:12:13,974 --> 00:12:15,741
She wants me bad.
254
00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:19,111
Dad...
255
00:12:30,858 --> 00:12:33,025
Well, I hope you're happy.
256
00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:38,096
Mr. Patrick, will you leave
dreyfuss alone, please?
257
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,467
Leave him alone,
like he left my Heidi alone?
258
00:12:41,502 --> 00:12:44,703
Thanks to him, there are now
three new puppies in my house.
259
00:12:44,738 --> 00:12:46,374
- Aw.
- Aw.
260
00:12:48,242 --> 00:12:50,509
Sure, you can "aw."
261
00:12:50,544 --> 00:12:53,378
You weren't up all night
witnessing the miracle of birth.
262
00:12:53,414 --> 00:12:54,880
- Aw.
- Aw.
263
00:12:54,915 --> 00:12:57,983
It's not "aw." It's "yuck."
264
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,520
I demand an apology
265
00:13:01,555 --> 00:13:03,455
and that you pay
all the veterinary costs,
266
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,023
or I'm gonna take you to court.
267
00:13:05,059 --> 00:13:07,392
Hey, you're wasting your time.
You have no proof.
268
00:13:07,836 --> 00:13:10,629
As a matter of fact, I do.
269
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,524
That's why I'm here.
270
00:13:12,933 --> 00:13:14,132
After I left the other day,
271
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,768
I compiled a list
of all the possible suspects
272
00:13:16,804 --> 00:13:18,648
and their alibis...
273
00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:22,357
Rover Benson, in a kennel...
274
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,794
Fluffy shapiro, home sick...
275
00:13:28,082 --> 00:13:29,214
As usual...
276
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:33,047
Francois Smith,
the poodle down the block...
277
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:37,660
Please, we all know he's
a little light in the leash.
278
00:13:40,427 --> 00:13:42,895
Mr. Patrick,
this is all very interesting,
279
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:45,831
but it still doesn't prove
that dreyfuss is involved.
280
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:50,402
Exhibit "b," a strand of your
dog's hair found on my patio...
281
00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:53,726
Proof positive your dog
was in fact in my backyard.
282
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,948
A single strand of hair, sir...
283
00:13:59,413 --> 00:14:01,480
This is your smoking gun?
284
00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:04,082
Ha! I submit to you, sir,
that what you have here
285
00:14:04,118 --> 00:14:06,018
is nothing more than
circumstantial evidence.
286
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:08,554
Point one... the alleged hair
could have been planted there.
287
00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:11,657
Point two... the wind could have
blown it into your yard.
288
00:14:11,692 --> 00:14:13,792
Point three...
This isn't dreyfuss' hair.
289
00:14:13,827 --> 00:14:15,427
"This isn't dreyfuss' hair"?
290
00:14:15,462 --> 00:14:17,316
This is not his hair.
291
00:14:18,056 --> 00:14:21,125
You heard my surprise witness.
The defense rests.
292
00:14:21,502 --> 00:14:25,543
Mr. Patrick, I think
an apology is in order.
293
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:28,006
And I take great offense
294
00:14:28,042 --> 00:14:30,437
that you're imputing
our dog's reputation.
295
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,878
I believe that
it could have been one
296
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,613
of several instances.
297
00:14:34,648 --> 00:14:36,915
I had never seen a match
this close.
298
00:14:36,951 --> 00:14:38,584
Oh, Barbara, stop that.
That isn't my...
299
00:14:38,619 --> 00:14:41,186
Oh, my god, I'm losing my hair!
300
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,910
Let me give you
some advice, Weston.
301
00:14:45,305 --> 00:14:47,643
I suggest
this one get therapy...
302
00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:50,312
And that one get neutered.
303
00:14:56,203 --> 00:14:57,829
Neuter dreyfuss?
304
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,605
Yeah, and how about that
therapy thing, huh, daddy?
305
00:15:01,842 --> 00:15:03,720
Well...
306
00:15:08,926 --> 00:15:10,749
Good morning, Laverne.
307
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,387
Oh, I'm sorry.
This stuff cracks me up.
308
00:15:15,422 --> 00:15:16,755
Are you reading the comics?
309
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:20,614
No, that William safire...
Whoo, he's a caution.
310
00:15:21,161 --> 00:15:22,894
Oh, Laverne,
have you cleared the calendar
311
00:15:22,930 --> 00:15:25,154
for Charley's operation?
What are you sayin'?
312
00:15:25,699 --> 00:15:28,385
That I'm standin' here reading
the paper shirkin' my duties...
313
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,269
Not fulfillin'
my job description?
314
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,738
Well, I quit.
315
00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:37,376
Laverne, I wasn't suggesting...
316
00:15:37,411 --> 00:15:39,879
Okay, stop your grovelin'.
I'll stay.
317
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:43,939
Welcome back.
318
00:15:44,785 --> 00:15:46,451
Hey, look here. Here's an ad
319
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,558
for that cruise ship
your neighbor works on.
320
00:15:48,588 --> 00:15:50,054
You think
he could get me a deal?
321
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,974
I'm sure if you ask Charley,
he would... wait a minute.
322
00:15:52,009 --> 00:15:54,209
Look at this ad...
Look at that picture.
323
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,878
Those people...
I think I know them.
324
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,446
Well, it says here they're
325
00:15:57,481 --> 00:15:59,848
in the ship's dinner theater
show, Fiddler on the roof.
326
00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:01,617
Why, you've probably seen them
on TV or somethin'.
327
00:16:01,652 --> 00:16:03,051
No, no, no, no, no.
328
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,554
You take the beard off tevye
and the babushka off golde,
329
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:07,256
and they're Charley's parents.
330
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:09,391
Charley's parents
are actors on his ship?
331
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,659
No, no, no.
332
00:16:10,694 --> 00:16:12,794
They're... they're not
his real parents.
333
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:15,430
They're myron and Murray adler,
stars of the saltwater players.
334
00:16:15,466 --> 00:16:17,900
Why would Charley
do something like that?
335
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,769
Why would he hire actors
to play his parents?
336
00:16:20,804 --> 00:16:23,505
Maybe his real parents
couldn't remember their lines.
337
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,342
I'm gonna check this out.
338
00:16:27,378 --> 00:16:29,878
Laverne, will you watch
things here, please?
339
00:16:29,914 --> 00:16:33,081
What's the implication,
that I wouldn't normally,
340
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,018
that while cat's away,
the mouse will play?
341
00:16:36,053 --> 00:16:37,786
Well, I quit.
342
00:16:39,356 --> 00:16:41,290
All right, I'll stay.
343
00:16:43,994 --> 00:16:46,733
Dr. Hyde, outside call.
344
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,364
Charley, I wanted to talk
to you about your parents.
345
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,199
Oh, they really appreciate
346
00:16:51,235 --> 00:16:53,035
you having them over
for dinner last night.
347
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,937
Well, I-I'd like to talk
to you about it.
348
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,104
You know, I bet
for a while there,
349
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,307
you and, well,
the guys thought...
350
00:16:58,342 --> 00:17:00,917
Well, nobody
really cared about me.
351
00:17:02,197 --> 00:17:04,813
Oh, Charley, that's what, uh,
you were thinking, huh?
352
00:17:04,848 --> 00:17:07,583
Well, yeah.
But then my parents came.
353
00:17:07,618 --> 00:17:10,925
So, you see, when the chips
are down, I'm not all alone.
354
00:17:11,055 --> 00:17:12,721
So what did you want
to talk about?
355
00:17:13,924 --> 00:17:15,490
Just that your folks are great,
356
00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:17,648
and they really
sure do love you a lot.
357
00:17:18,562 --> 00:17:20,062
Uh, it's time, huh?
358
00:17:20,097 --> 00:17:21,830
- Here you go. Come on.
- Oh, hold it, guys.
359
00:17:21,865 --> 00:17:24,166
Can I have a second alone
with the sawbones?
360
00:17:25,703 --> 00:17:27,603
Come on, Charley, what is it?
361
00:17:27,638 --> 00:17:30,272
I want to go into surgery
with a clear conscience.
362
00:17:30,307 --> 00:17:33,108
There's some stuff
I need to get off my chest.
363
00:17:33,143 --> 00:17:35,010
All right, fine.
Just hit the highlights, okay?
364
00:17:35,045 --> 00:17:37,255
We only have the operating room
for one hour.
365
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,114
Right. Okay.
366
00:17:39,149 --> 00:17:40,515
Well, then we'll skip
all that stuff
367
00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:42,220
about your
antilock-brake system.
368
00:17:42,486 --> 00:17:43,851
Okay.
369
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,011
Here's the big thing, Harry.
370
00:17:47,224 --> 00:17:50,164
Those people you met
weren't my parents.
371
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:54,534
They're actors. I hired them.
372
00:17:54,932 --> 00:17:57,366
Oh, Charley, that's nothing
to be embarrassed about.
373
00:17:57,401 --> 00:17:59,034
I mean, people
are always hiring actors
374
00:17:59,069 --> 00:18:01,111
to play their parents and...
375
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:05,073
O-okay, no one ever does that,
but at least, you know,
376
00:18:05,109 --> 00:18:06,773
give yourself credit
for originality.
377
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,778
I called my real parents,
but, uh...
378
00:18:09,893 --> 00:18:11,354
They couldn't get away.
379
00:18:12,626 --> 00:18:15,252
Couldn't get away, big shock...
380
00:18:15,369 --> 00:18:17,595
Like they've ever
been there for me.
381
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:20,956
Oh, Charley, come on.
382
00:18:20,991 --> 00:18:22,434
I'm sorry.
383
00:18:23,171 --> 00:18:25,160
I thought I was
pretty much used to it
384
00:18:25,195 --> 00:18:27,354
until I got here
to the hospital and...
385
00:18:27,436 --> 00:18:29,941
Saw all the kids
with their parents.
386
00:18:31,702 --> 00:18:34,907
Doesn't feel so hot
when nobody's there for you.
387
00:18:35,235 --> 00:18:36,977
Charley, come on.
388
00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:40,838
You don't have to hire people
to... to be your friends.
389
00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:43,274
Come on, you've got me.
You've got Barbara.
390
00:18:43,309 --> 00:18:44,556
You've got c...
391
00:18:46,346 --> 00:18:48,780
You've got me.
You've got Barbara.
392
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,482
Come on, Charley, dear,
we're your friends.
393
00:18:51,518 --> 00:18:53,294
We'll always be here for you.
394
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:56,030
- Thanks, Harry.
- Yeah.
395
00:18:56,623 --> 00:18:58,456
- Son.
- Oh.
396
00:18:58,491 --> 00:19:01,792
We came to wish you good luck
before your operation.
397
00:19:01,828 --> 00:19:04,699
And you will come through
with flying colors,
398
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,874
like all us dietzes.
399
00:19:07,222 --> 00:19:08,573
And why?
400
00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:11,775
Because it's tradition.
401
00:19:14,295 --> 00:19:17,321
Now, where would we be
without our...
402
00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:19,755
Tradition?
403
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:23,903
Hey, uh, stop it.
Stop it. It's... it's... it's over.
404
00:19:23,938 --> 00:19:26,172
Uh, son, you don't know
what you're saying.
405
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,640
It's the anesthesia, you know.
406
00:19:27,675 --> 00:19:30,772
Take a hint, hambones.
The show's closing out of town.
407
00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:34,080
You mean they... They, uh...?
408
00:19:34,115 --> 00:19:36,042
Oh, you know that we...
409
00:19:37,118 --> 00:19:38,499
Well, I...
410
00:19:38,753 --> 00:19:40,353
We'll send you the bill.
411
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,762
Right, I'll give it
to my accountant.
412
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:46,959
Come on, let's go.
413
00:19:46,995 --> 00:19:48,528
- Okay.
- Here we go. Ready?
414
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:51,130
- I'm ready.
- All right, Charles.
415
00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:52,598
Easy, easy, not so fast.
416
00:19:52,634 --> 00:19:54,400
There you go. There you go.
417
00:19:54,436 --> 00:19:56,458
Oh, uh, one more thing...
418
00:19:57,205 --> 00:19:58,371
Here's my will.
419
00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,792
Your will?
420
00:20:00,475 --> 00:20:05,133
Dr. Callahan, Dr. Callahan,
call 125 west.
421
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,531
Charley, this is all
my stuff you're giving away.
422
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,123
Hi, westons.
423
00:20:15,523 --> 00:20:17,890
You took care of the dietzter
in his hour of need,
424
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,392
and now it's payback time.
425
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,061
Charley, come on,
you didn't have to do that.
426
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,963
Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't get
these to you sooner,
427
00:20:23,998 --> 00:20:26,632
but it took a few weeks
to find just the right gifts
428
00:20:26,668 --> 00:20:29,101
to show my appreciation.
Harry...
429
00:20:29,137 --> 00:20:31,804
Charley, come on.
430
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,082
Ah, you're so...
431
00:20:35,076 --> 00:20:36,959
Ooh.
432
00:20:37,879 --> 00:20:39,253
Oh.
433
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:43,770
A plastic pitcher
from the hospital.
434
00:20:45,336 --> 00:20:47,363
You're gonna want to wash that.
435
00:20:48,031 --> 00:20:49,355
Barbara...
436
00:20:49,390 --> 00:20:50,645
Oh.
437
00:20:53,194 --> 00:20:56,195
Another plastic pitcher
from the hospital.
438
00:20:56,231 --> 00:20:58,299
That one
you're gonna want to boil.
439
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,547
Carol...
440
00:21:03,938 --> 00:21:05,137
Oh.
441
00:21:05,173 --> 00:21:07,707
Oh, Charley, what unusual
earrings. Thank you.
442
00:21:07,742 --> 00:21:09,742
They're my tonsils.
I had them bronzed.
443
00:21:09,777 --> 00:21:11,477
Oh, my god, daddy!
444
00:21:11,513 --> 00:21:14,113
Charley, get out! Out, out!
445
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,549
All right, all right, all right.
All right, sweetheart.
446
00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:18,451
Hey, it's Mr. Patrick.
447
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,700
I love Mr. Patrick.
448
00:21:21,189 --> 00:21:22,421
So long, dietz.
449
00:21:22,457 --> 00:21:24,790
All right, westons,
the party's over.
450
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:27,059
Mr. Patrick,
we've been through all this.
451
00:21:27,095 --> 00:21:29,495
You wanted proof,
I got you proof.
452
00:21:29,531 --> 00:21:31,397
Please, please, Mr. Patrick...
453
00:21:31,432 --> 00:21:33,633
here they are... His puppies.
454
00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,201
Mr. Patrick,
I've had it with you.
455
00:21:35,236 --> 00:21:36,302
I've had it with you.
This proves nothing.
456
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,529
Those puppies
could be anybody's.
457
00:21:45,613 --> 00:21:47,346
Well, it could be a fluke.
458
00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:51,310
Come on, we've...
459
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,356
All right,
so a couple of flukes.
460
00:22:01,396 --> 00:22:03,663
Dreyfuss, is there something
you want to tell me?
461
00:22:03,713 --> 00:22:08,263
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