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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,008 --> 00:00:02,141 Life goes on 2 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,302 and so do we 3 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,637 just how we do 4 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,074 is no mystery 5 00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:10,876 one by one 6 00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,878 we fill the days 7 00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:17,516 we find a thousand different ways 8 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,618 Sometimes the answer 9 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,820 can be hard to find 10 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,456 that's something I will never be 11 00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:26,525 I'm always here 12 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,495 for anything that you need 13 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,497 Rain or shine 14 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,833 I'll be the one 15 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,837 to share it all as life goes on 16 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:43,542 We share it all 17 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:48,647 as life goes on 18 00:01:02,073 --> 00:01:03,596 bye. 19 00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:05,653 Mrs. bedlow called with an emergency. 20 00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:07,188 Little Jenny had a terrible fall. 21 00:01:07,223 --> 00:01:08,589 Well, come on, we ought to get her in here. 22 00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:10,591 Not necessary, she put peroxide 23 00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:12,904 and a band-aid on her knee... Everything's all right. 24 00:01:13,129 --> 00:01:15,641 - Well, that's good. - Not really. 25 00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:18,499 She called back again. 26 00:01:18,534 --> 00:01:21,471 She thinks jennie may have drunk some of that peroxide. 27 00:01:21,838 --> 00:01:23,571 Well, that's very serious. 28 00:01:23,606 --> 00:01:24,972 Come on, well, rush her in here. 29 00:01:25,008 --> 00:01:27,041 Well, no need to. Turns out it was lemonade. 30 00:01:27,076 --> 00:01:28,851 Everything will be fine. 31 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,547 Laverne, why are you telling me all this? 32 00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:34,815 I want you to know the kind 33 00:01:34,851 --> 00:01:37,760 of emotional roller coaster I ride every day... 34 00:01:38,855 --> 00:01:40,021 To help you understand 35 00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:42,431 the Genesis of my mild sarcasm. 36 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,459 Thank you for sharing that. Laverne, please, who's next? 37 00:01:45,495 --> 00:01:46,627 Room one, sore throat, 38 00:01:46,663 --> 00:01:48,629 insisted on coming in without an appointment. 39 00:01:48,665 --> 00:01:51,496 Oh, Laverne, we never turn away a sick child. 40 00:01:56,773 --> 00:01:57,959 Hey, Harry. 41 00:01:57,990 --> 00:02:00,341 Charley, what are you doing with my donkey and horse? 42 00:02:00,865 --> 00:02:03,051 Making mules, I think. 43 00:02:03,413 --> 00:02:05,857 Charley, give me that. Come over here. 44 00:02:06,716 --> 00:02:07,948 All right, come on, Charley, 45 00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,950 what is this about, what, a sore throat? 46 00:02:09,986 --> 00:02:11,952 Well, I've had this pain for a while, and it's getting worse. 47 00:02:11,988 --> 00:02:13,154 So, naturally, I thought 48 00:02:13,189 --> 00:02:14,455 I'd come see my old friend Harry Weston, 49 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:17,553 or as I like to call him, Dr. gratis. 50 00:02:18,528 --> 00:02:21,729 Charley, I send you a bill every time you come in here. 51 00:02:21,764 --> 00:02:23,998 Yeah, and I pass it along to my accountant, 52 00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:26,404 Mr. big, fat trash man. 53 00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:30,009 Charley, could you limit your comments to, "ah"? 54 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,606 - Ah. - Okay, ah. 55 00:02:31,641 --> 00:02:32,607 - Ah. - Ah. 56 00:02:32,642 --> 00:02:34,175 - Ah. - Agh! 57 00:02:34,211 --> 00:02:35,476 Ooh, boy. 58 00:02:35,512 --> 00:02:37,845 Charley, your tonsils are pretty inflamed. 59 00:02:37,881 --> 00:02:39,189 Thank you. 60 00:02:40,217 --> 00:02:42,650 No, no, Charley, that means you need a tonsillectomy. 61 00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:44,519 What? 62 00:02:44,554 --> 00:02:45,787 Charley, there's nothing to worry about. 63 00:02:45,822 --> 00:02:47,822 I know an excellent e.N.T. Man. What's that? 64 00:02:47,857 --> 00:02:50,425 It's a doctor who only treats ears, noses, and throats. 65 00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:52,126 I don't want some quack 66 00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:54,771 who was too lazy to study the whole body. 67 00:02:55,899 --> 00:02:58,199 I need somebody I can trust. 68 00:02:58,235 --> 00:02:59,539 I need you. 69 00:02:59,803 --> 00:03:02,837 Charley, I haven't done a tonsillectomy in 25 years. 70 00:03:02,872 --> 00:03:04,939 Oh, come on, Harry, please. 71 00:03:04,975 --> 00:03:08,509 I never had an operation before, and I'm scared. 72 00:03:08,545 --> 00:03:10,712 Charley, come on, it's routine surgery. 73 00:03:10,747 --> 00:03:13,381 Can you absolutely, positively guarantee me 74 00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:14,749 I won't die? 75 00:03:15,859 --> 00:03:18,119 Well, I mean, no doctor can do that. 76 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,220 Thanks for the pep talk. 77 00:03:19,256 --> 00:03:20,688 All right, Charley. All right, wait. 78 00:03:20,724 --> 00:03:22,090 I'll tell you what I'll do. 79 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:24,459 I will arrange it that I can be with you during surgery. 80 00:03:24,494 --> 00:03:26,661 And I'll make sure nothing goes wrong. 81 00:03:26,696 --> 00:03:28,229 - Thanks, Harry. - Yeah, all right. 82 00:03:28,265 --> 00:03:30,565 I'll send you your bill, Mr. dietz. 83 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,467 Yeah, and I'll give it to my accountant. 84 00:03:39,909 --> 00:03:42,877 Die, pig scum, take that. 85 00:03:42,912 --> 00:03:44,545 And that. 86 00:03:44,581 --> 00:03:45,913 And that. 87 00:03:47,450 --> 00:03:49,784 I guess that bungles the clown 88 00:03:49,819 --> 00:03:51,686 won't be squirting his seltzer at us anymore. 89 00:03:53,356 --> 00:03:54,722 Oh, hi, Mr. Patrick. 90 00:03:54,758 --> 00:03:57,762 I hate Mr. Patrick. 91 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,696 Look, girls, it's Mr. Patrick from next door. 92 00:04:01,731 --> 00:04:04,232 We haven't had a visit from you in a very long while. 93 00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:06,601 Well, maybe that's something to do with the fact 94 00:04:06,636 --> 00:04:10,371 that you westons are... How can I put this? 95 00:04:10,407 --> 00:04:13,541 The worst neighbors a man could hope to have. 96 00:04:14,285 --> 00:04:15,877 It's not enough, Weston, 97 00:04:15,912 --> 00:04:18,346 that your sprinkler gets my car wet after I wash it, 98 00:04:18,381 --> 00:04:20,548 or your nectarines fall on my pansies, 99 00:04:20,583 --> 00:04:22,050 or your friends' motorcycles 100 00:04:22,085 --> 00:04:23,918 roar off in the middle of the night. 101 00:04:27,390 --> 00:04:29,424 This time you've gone too far. 102 00:04:29,459 --> 00:04:31,359 Mr. Patrick, take it easy now. 103 00:04:31,394 --> 00:04:33,294 Whatever is the problem here, I'm sure we can clear it up. 104 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:36,364 I'm going to be a grandfather, and it's all your fault. 105 00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:42,236 Mr. Patrick, what are you talking about? 106 00:04:42,272 --> 00:04:44,143 I'm talking about him. 107 00:04:44,874 --> 00:04:46,174 You. 108 00:04:49,479 --> 00:04:51,512 You ruined my baby. 109 00:04:55,559 --> 00:04:56,584 What? 110 00:04:56,619 --> 00:04:59,392 Heidi, my golden retriever... Your dog has... 111 00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:01,754 Had his way with her. 112 00:05:03,326 --> 00:05:04,859 She's pregnant. 113 00:05:04,894 --> 00:05:06,728 Well, what makes you think it was dreyfuss? 114 00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:08,635 I mean, look at him. He doesn't even move. 115 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:12,166 I said he debauched my dog. 116 00:05:12,202 --> 00:05:14,001 I didn't say he was a great lover. 117 00:05:16,339 --> 00:05:19,248 All I know is my Heidi is two months pregnant. 118 00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:22,510 Well, it wasn't dreyfuss. He's very well-behaved. 119 00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:25,690 And besides, everyone knows your Heidi is a slut. 120 00:05:29,603 --> 00:05:31,790 Yeah, the way she struts around 121 00:05:31,814 --> 00:05:34,083 in that rhinestone collar... 122 00:05:35,351 --> 00:05:37,631 She might as well be wearing nothing. 123 00:05:40,189 --> 00:05:43,190 Well, I can certainly see where your dog gets it from. 124 00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:51,432 Mr. Patrick, I'm gonna turn on my sprinklers now. 125 00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:53,777 Oh... 126 00:05:55,404 --> 00:05:58,818 You saw me turtle-waxing all day, didn't you? 127 00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:01,460 All right, I'm leaving. 128 00:06:01,668 --> 00:06:04,578 But I know what you did. 129 00:06:05,418 --> 00:06:07,314 You know what you did. 130 00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:10,712 God knows what you did. 131 00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:25,499 Mr. dietz, I'm your ward nurse. 132 00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:27,816 All right! 133 00:06:29,398 --> 00:06:31,872 I'm sorry you were put in the pediatrics ward. 134 00:06:31,907 --> 00:06:33,540 It seems that when admittance heard you were. 135 00:06:33,576 --> 00:06:35,809 Dr. Weston's patient, they assumed you were a child. 136 00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:39,580 Well, I could use some mothering. 137 00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:44,051 As I was saying, we'd like to move you to another floor, 138 00:06:44,086 --> 00:06:45,319 but all the beds are filled. 139 00:06:45,354 --> 00:06:47,756 Mine's only half filled. 140 00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:52,660 Mr. dietz, don't make me shave you unnecessarily. 141 00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:56,281 She wants me bad. 142 00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,734 Let's play 20 questions. Go ahead, Charley. You start. 143 00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:01,902 Do you remember the rules? 144 00:07:01,937 --> 00:07:05,582 Sure, I get 20 questions. Let's see. 145 00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,242 - Is it a person? - Yes. 146 00:07:08,277 --> 00:07:09,610 All right! 147 00:07:09,645 --> 00:07:11,045 - Is he living? - Yes. 148 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,747 - Okay, I got 18 left, right? - Yeah. 149 00:07:13,783 --> 00:07:15,749 Oh, I just used one. 150 00:07:15,785 --> 00:07:17,898 That one leaves me 17, huh? Yeah. 151 00:07:17,924 --> 00:07:19,823 Oh, I just did it again. 152 00:07:19,859 --> 00:07:21,625 - Didn't I? - Yes. 153 00:07:21,661 --> 00:07:23,327 Oh, darn! 154 00:07:23,362 --> 00:07:26,009 Okay, boys, visiting hours. 155 00:07:28,935 --> 00:07:30,901 Gee, I forgot all about visiting hours. 156 00:07:30,937 --> 00:07:32,403 Uh, anybody here for me? 157 00:07:32,438 --> 00:07:33,706 Sorry. 158 00:07:39,912 --> 00:07:41,925 Don't mind me, guys. 159 00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:47,851 Hey, hey, hey. Your pre-op tests are fine. 160 00:07:47,887 --> 00:07:49,421 Are you Charley's father? 161 00:07:52,391 --> 00:07:54,329 No, no, no, don't be silly. 162 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,465 I'm his pediatrician. 163 00:07:58,497 --> 00:08:00,537 Hey, Charley, what's the matter with your parents? 164 00:08:00,566 --> 00:08:02,858 Why didn't they come? Hey, I'm a grownup. 165 00:08:03,029 --> 00:08:04,802 But if I wanted, they'd be here in a second. 166 00:08:04,837 --> 00:08:06,930 It's just that they're far away. 167 00:08:07,273 --> 00:08:08,882 They're in the south. 168 00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:12,416 Charley, this is the south. 169 00:08:13,412 --> 00:08:15,691 Pole... south pole. 170 00:08:15,948 --> 00:08:17,915 That's where they are, the south pole. 171 00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:19,516 I'd call 'em, but there's a lot of trouble 172 00:08:19,552 --> 00:08:21,290 with the phone system there. You know... 173 00:08:22,061 --> 00:08:23,917 South pole bell. 174 00:08:25,791 --> 00:08:27,130 Oh, well... 175 00:08:27,426 --> 00:08:29,159 Okay, Charley, listen, I got to get going. 176 00:08:29,195 --> 00:08:30,394 Oh, Harry, don't go. 177 00:08:30,429 --> 00:08:31,962 Charley, I've got other patients to see. 178 00:08:31,998 --> 00:08:34,144 Oh, I just... I'd like to chat for a minute. 179 00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:36,233 Okay, come on, but just for a minute. 180 00:08:36,269 --> 00:08:37,357 Right. 181 00:08:38,337 --> 00:08:39,877 Tell me a story. 182 00:08:41,841 --> 00:08:44,441 Once upon a time, there was a pediatrician 183 00:08:44,477 --> 00:08:48,746 who had one patient who monopolized all his time, 184 00:08:48,781 --> 00:08:50,748 and he couldn't see his other patients, 185 00:08:50,783 --> 00:08:52,750 and he lost his license. 186 00:08:52,785 --> 00:08:55,653 - Then what? - Oh, Charley. 187 00:08:55,688 --> 00:08:57,721 Oh, there you are. What are you doing dawdlin' up here? 188 00:08:57,757 --> 00:08:59,423 The waitin' room's backed up already. 189 00:08:59,458 --> 00:09:02,393 All right. Charley, I'm sorry to have to put an end to... 190 00:09:02,428 --> 00:09:04,995 Whatever the hell this just was, but I got to go. 191 00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:07,197 - Oh, Laverne, wait. - What is it? 192 00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:10,401 You know, Laverne, we never really had the chance to chat, 193 00:09:10,436 --> 00:09:11,902 to get to know each other. 194 00:09:11,937 --> 00:09:13,211 Mm-hmm. 195 00:09:16,184 --> 00:09:17,450 So... 196 00:09:18,144 --> 00:09:19,677 Hail from Dixie, eh? 197 00:09:19,712 --> 00:09:21,416 Uh-huh. 198 00:09:22,548 --> 00:09:25,318 I hear the old times there are not forgotten. 199 00:09:26,118 --> 00:09:28,461 And I'm gonna look away now. 200 00:09:33,225 --> 00:09:34,858 And after your operation, Norman, 201 00:09:34,894 --> 00:09:37,428 we'll have a big coming-home party for you, okay? 202 00:09:37,463 --> 00:09:39,229 And... and you can invite all your new friends. 203 00:09:39,265 --> 00:09:41,899 Hey, I can't wait! 204 00:09:41,934 --> 00:09:44,501 No, I'm sorry, but I was speaking about the children. 205 00:09:44,537 --> 00:09:46,704 Aw, mom, Charley's cool. 206 00:09:46,739 --> 00:09:49,699 He taught me how to undress women with my eyes. 207 00:09:56,682 --> 00:09:59,417 Here, books are good when you're alone. 208 00:10:01,287 --> 00:10:02,986 Dr. burroughs... 209 00:10:03,022 --> 00:10:05,622 Please, call 125 west, Dr. burroughs. 210 00:10:11,564 --> 00:10:13,239 Hi, ma? 211 00:10:13,566 --> 00:10:14,945 It's Charley. 212 00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:17,714 Hey, I'm in the hospital for some surgery and... 213 00:10:19,439 --> 00:10:21,047 Yeah, I'll hold. 214 00:10:36,274 --> 00:10:37,507 Oh, excuse me. 215 00:10:37,542 --> 00:10:39,906 Hey, Harry. You're right on time. 216 00:10:39,938 --> 00:10:43,473 Hey, look, everybody, visitor for the dietzter. 217 00:10:46,811 --> 00:10:48,878 Ah, so glad you made it, Harry... I've been dying to hear 218 00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:51,681 the end of that "doctor loses his license" story. 219 00:10:51,716 --> 00:10:53,216 Charley, never mind that. 220 00:10:53,251 --> 00:10:55,885 I got two people who really want to see you. 221 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,186 Would you come on? 222 00:10:57,222 --> 00:10:58,779 Let go! 223 00:10:59,991 --> 00:11:01,691 Charley! Good news... 224 00:11:01,726 --> 00:11:04,152 I checked out your surgeon. He has no priors. 225 00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,329 Ah, thanks, Barbara. 226 00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:09,532 Good evening, Charley. 227 00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:11,601 Good luck on your operation tomorrow. 228 00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:13,400 Hope you don't die. 229 00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:16,639 - Carol. - What? 230 00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,675 You told me to say something nice. 231 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,615 As it was, I lied. 232 00:11:21,913 --> 00:11:23,613 - Mr. dietz? - Yes? 233 00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,315 Your parents are on the way up. 234 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:28,518 - Really? - Oh, so they made it after all. 235 00:11:28,553 --> 00:11:29,819 Ah, I never doubted it. 236 00:11:29,854 --> 00:11:31,921 Oh, I'm really looking forward to meeting them. 237 00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:34,783 - I wonder what they're like. - Look at what they did. 238 00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:37,482 Hey, ma! 239 00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:40,897 - Hey, dad. - I'm shocked. 240 00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:43,266 They're not dragging their knuckles across the floor. 241 00:11:43,301 --> 00:11:45,047 How's my baby? 242 00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:48,177 - How are you, son? - Hey, I'm great. 243 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,140 Mom, dad, these are my very good friends, the westons. 244 00:11:51,176 --> 00:11:52,642 Harry, Barbara, Carol, these are my folks... 245 00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:53,776 Fred and Ursula dietz. 246 00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:55,511 It's so nice to finally meet you. 247 00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:59,248 Charley told us a lot about you and your whole family. 248 00:11:59,284 --> 00:12:01,038 Don't worry. It wasn't all bad. 249 00:12:03,464 --> 00:12:05,003 Dad... 250 00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:08,901 Anyway, Harry, I got to tell you what a treat it was 251 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,569 that we finally... 252 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,571 Oh, my. 253 00:12:13,974 --> 00:12:15,741 She wants me bad. 254 00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:19,111 Dad... 255 00:12:30,858 --> 00:12:33,025 Well, I hope you're happy. 256 00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:38,096 Mr. Patrick, will you leave dreyfuss alone, please? 257 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,467 Leave him alone, like he left my Heidi alone? 258 00:12:41,502 --> 00:12:44,703 Thanks to him, there are now three new puppies in my house. 259 00:12:44,738 --> 00:12:46,374 - Aw. - Aw. 260 00:12:48,242 --> 00:12:50,509 Sure, you can "aw." 261 00:12:50,544 --> 00:12:53,378 You weren't up all night witnessing the miracle of birth. 262 00:12:53,414 --> 00:12:54,880 - Aw. - Aw. 263 00:12:54,915 --> 00:12:57,983 It's not "aw." It's "yuck." 264 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,520 I demand an apology 265 00:13:01,555 --> 00:13:03,455 and that you pay all the veterinary costs, 266 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,023 or I'm gonna take you to court. 267 00:13:05,059 --> 00:13:07,392 Hey, you're wasting your time. You have no proof. 268 00:13:07,836 --> 00:13:10,629 As a matter of fact, I do. 269 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,524 That's why I'm here. 270 00:13:12,933 --> 00:13:14,132 After I left the other day, 271 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,768 I compiled a list of all the possible suspects 272 00:13:16,804 --> 00:13:18,648 and their alibis... 273 00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:22,357 Rover Benson, in a kennel... 274 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,794 Fluffy shapiro, home sick... 275 00:13:28,082 --> 00:13:29,214 As usual... 276 00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:33,047 Francois Smith, the poodle down the block... 277 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:37,660 Please, we all know he's a little light in the leash. 278 00:13:40,427 --> 00:13:42,895 Mr. Patrick, this is all very interesting, 279 00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:45,831 but it still doesn't prove that dreyfuss is involved. 280 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:50,402 Exhibit "b," a strand of your dog's hair found on my patio... 281 00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:53,726 Proof positive your dog was in fact in my backyard. 282 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,948 A single strand of hair, sir... 283 00:13:59,413 --> 00:14:01,480 This is your smoking gun? 284 00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:04,082 Ha! I submit to you, sir, that what you have here 285 00:14:04,118 --> 00:14:06,018 is nothing more than circumstantial evidence. 286 00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:08,554 Point one... the alleged hair could have been planted there. 287 00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:11,657 Point two... the wind could have blown it into your yard. 288 00:14:11,692 --> 00:14:13,792 Point three... This isn't dreyfuss' hair. 289 00:14:13,827 --> 00:14:15,427 "This isn't dreyfuss' hair"? 290 00:14:15,462 --> 00:14:17,316 This is not his hair. 291 00:14:18,056 --> 00:14:21,125 You heard my surprise witness. The defense rests. 292 00:14:21,502 --> 00:14:25,543 Mr. Patrick, I think an apology is in order. 293 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:28,006 And I take great offense 294 00:14:28,042 --> 00:14:30,437 that you're imputing our dog's reputation. 295 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,878 I believe that it could have been one 296 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,613 of several instances. 297 00:14:34,648 --> 00:14:36,915 I had never seen a match this close. 298 00:14:36,951 --> 00:14:38,584 Oh, Barbara, stop that. That isn't my... 299 00:14:38,619 --> 00:14:41,186 Oh, my god, I'm losing my hair! 300 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,910 Let me give you some advice, Weston. 301 00:14:45,305 --> 00:14:47,643 I suggest this one get therapy... 302 00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:50,312 And that one get neutered. 303 00:14:56,203 --> 00:14:57,829 Neuter dreyfuss? 304 00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,605 Yeah, and how about that therapy thing, huh, daddy? 305 00:15:01,842 --> 00:15:03,720 Well... 306 00:15:08,926 --> 00:15:10,749 Good morning, Laverne. 307 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,387 Oh, I'm sorry. This stuff cracks me up. 308 00:15:15,422 --> 00:15:16,755 Are you reading the comics? 309 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:20,614 No, that William safire... Whoo, he's a caution. 310 00:15:21,161 --> 00:15:22,894 Oh, Laverne, have you cleared the calendar 311 00:15:22,930 --> 00:15:25,154 for Charley's operation? What are you sayin'? 312 00:15:25,699 --> 00:15:28,385 That I'm standin' here reading the paper shirkin' my duties... 313 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,269 Not fulfillin' my job description? 314 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,738 Well, I quit. 315 00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:37,376 Laverne, I wasn't suggesting... 316 00:15:37,411 --> 00:15:39,879 Okay, stop your grovelin'. I'll stay. 317 00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:43,939 Welcome back. 318 00:15:44,785 --> 00:15:46,451 Hey, look here. Here's an ad 319 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,558 for that cruise ship your neighbor works on. 320 00:15:48,588 --> 00:15:50,054 You think he could get me a deal? 321 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,974 I'm sure if you ask Charley, he would... wait a minute. 322 00:15:52,009 --> 00:15:54,209 Look at this ad... Look at that picture. 323 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,878 Those people... I think I know them. 324 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,446 Well, it says here they're 325 00:15:57,481 --> 00:15:59,848 in the ship's dinner theater show, Fiddler on the roof. 326 00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:01,617 Why, you've probably seen them on TV or somethin'. 327 00:16:01,652 --> 00:16:03,051 No, no, no, no, no. 328 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,554 You take the beard off tevye and the babushka off golde, 329 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:07,256 and they're Charley's parents. 330 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:09,391 Charley's parents are actors on his ship? 331 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,659 No, no, no. 332 00:16:10,694 --> 00:16:12,794 They're... they're not his real parents. 333 00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:15,430 They're myron and Murray adler, stars of the saltwater players. 334 00:16:15,466 --> 00:16:17,900 Why would Charley do something like that? 335 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,769 Why would he hire actors to play his parents? 336 00:16:20,804 --> 00:16:23,505 Maybe his real parents couldn't remember their lines. 337 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,342 I'm gonna check this out. 338 00:16:27,378 --> 00:16:29,878 Laverne, will you watch things here, please? 339 00:16:29,914 --> 00:16:33,081 What's the implication, that I wouldn't normally, 340 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,018 that while cat's away, the mouse will play? 341 00:16:36,053 --> 00:16:37,786 Well, I quit. 342 00:16:39,356 --> 00:16:41,290 All right, I'll stay. 343 00:16:43,994 --> 00:16:46,733 Dr. Hyde, outside call. 344 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,364 Charley, I wanted to talk to you about your parents. 345 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,199 Oh, they really appreciate 346 00:16:51,235 --> 00:16:53,035 you having them over for dinner last night. 347 00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,937 Well, I-I'd like to talk to you about it. 348 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,104 You know, I bet for a while there, 349 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,307 you and, well, the guys thought... 350 00:16:58,342 --> 00:17:00,917 Well, nobody really cared about me. 351 00:17:02,197 --> 00:17:04,813 Oh, Charley, that's what, uh, you were thinking, huh? 352 00:17:04,848 --> 00:17:07,583 Well, yeah. But then my parents came. 353 00:17:07,618 --> 00:17:10,925 So, you see, when the chips are down, I'm not all alone. 354 00:17:11,055 --> 00:17:12,721 So what did you want to talk about? 355 00:17:13,924 --> 00:17:15,490 Just that your folks are great, 356 00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:17,648 and they really sure do love you a lot. 357 00:17:18,562 --> 00:17:20,062 Uh, it's time, huh? 358 00:17:20,097 --> 00:17:21,830 - Here you go. Come on. - Oh, hold it, guys. 359 00:17:21,865 --> 00:17:24,166 Can I have a second alone with the sawbones? 360 00:17:25,703 --> 00:17:27,603 Come on, Charley, what is it? 361 00:17:27,638 --> 00:17:30,272 I want to go into surgery with a clear conscience. 362 00:17:30,307 --> 00:17:33,108 There's some stuff I need to get off my chest. 363 00:17:33,143 --> 00:17:35,010 All right, fine. Just hit the highlights, okay? 364 00:17:35,045 --> 00:17:37,255 We only have the operating room for one hour. 365 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,114 Right. Okay. 366 00:17:39,149 --> 00:17:40,515 Well, then we'll skip all that stuff 367 00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:42,220 about your antilock-brake system. 368 00:17:42,486 --> 00:17:43,851 Okay. 369 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,011 Here's the big thing, Harry. 370 00:17:47,224 --> 00:17:50,164 Those people you met weren't my parents. 371 00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:54,534 They're actors. I hired them. 372 00:17:54,932 --> 00:17:57,366 Oh, Charley, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. 373 00:17:57,401 --> 00:17:59,034 I mean, people are always hiring actors 374 00:17:59,069 --> 00:18:01,111 to play their parents and... 375 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:05,073 O-okay, no one ever does that, but at least, you know, 376 00:18:05,109 --> 00:18:06,773 give yourself credit for originality. 377 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,778 I called my real parents, but, uh... 378 00:18:09,893 --> 00:18:11,354 They couldn't get away. 379 00:18:12,626 --> 00:18:15,252 Couldn't get away, big shock... 380 00:18:15,369 --> 00:18:17,595 Like they've ever been there for me. 381 00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:20,956 Oh, Charley, come on. 382 00:18:20,991 --> 00:18:22,434 I'm sorry. 383 00:18:23,171 --> 00:18:25,160 I thought I was pretty much used to it 384 00:18:25,195 --> 00:18:27,354 until I got here to the hospital and... 385 00:18:27,436 --> 00:18:29,941 Saw all the kids with their parents. 386 00:18:31,702 --> 00:18:34,907 Doesn't feel so hot when nobody's there for you. 387 00:18:35,235 --> 00:18:36,977 Charley, come on. 388 00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:40,838 You don't have to hire people to... to be your friends. 389 00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:43,274 Come on, you've got me. You've got Barbara. 390 00:18:43,309 --> 00:18:44,556 You've got c... 391 00:18:46,346 --> 00:18:48,780 You've got me. You've got Barbara. 392 00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,482 Come on, Charley, dear, we're your friends. 393 00:18:51,518 --> 00:18:53,294 We'll always be here for you. 394 00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:56,030 - Thanks, Harry. - Yeah. 395 00:18:56,623 --> 00:18:58,456 - Son. - Oh. 396 00:18:58,491 --> 00:19:01,792 We came to wish you good luck before your operation. 397 00:19:01,828 --> 00:19:04,699 And you will come through with flying colors, 398 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,874 like all us dietzes. 399 00:19:07,222 --> 00:19:08,573 And why? 400 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:11,775 Because it's tradition. 401 00:19:14,295 --> 00:19:17,321 Now, where would we be without our... 402 00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:19,755 Tradition? 403 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:23,903 Hey, uh, stop it. Stop it. It's... it's... it's over. 404 00:19:23,938 --> 00:19:26,172 Uh, son, you don't know what you're saying. 405 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,640 It's the anesthesia, you know. 406 00:19:27,675 --> 00:19:30,772 Take a hint, hambones. The show's closing out of town. 407 00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:34,080 You mean they... They, uh...? 408 00:19:34,115 --> 00:19:36,042 Oh, you know that we... 409 00:19:37,118 --> 00:19:38,499 Well, I... 410 00:19:38,753 --> 00:19:40,353 We'll send you the bill. 411 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,762 Right, I'll give it to my accountant. 412 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:46,959 Come on, let's go. 413 00:19:46,995 --> 00:19:48,528 - Okay. - Here we go. Ready? 414 00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:51,130 - I'm ready. - All right, Charles. 415 00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:52,598 Easy, easy, not so fast. 416 00:19:52,634 --> 00:19:54,400 There you go. There you go. 417 00:19:54,436 --> 00:19:56,458 Oh, uh, one more thing... 418 00:19:57,205 --> 00:19:58,371 Here's my will. 419 00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,792 Your will? 420 00:20:00,475 --> 00:20:05,133 Dr. Callahan, Dr. Callahan, call 125 west. 421 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,531 Charley, this is all my stuff you're giving away. 422 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,123 Hi, westons. 423 00:20:15,523 --> 00:20:17,890 You took care of the dietzter in his hour of need, 424 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,392 and now it's payback time. 425 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,061 Charley, come on, you didn't have to do that. 426 00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,963 Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't get these to you sooner, 427 00:20:23,998 --> 00:20:26,632 but it took a few weeks to find just the right gifts 428 00:20:26,668 --> 00:20:29,101 to show my appreciation. Harry... 429 00:20:29,137 --> 00:20:31,804 Charley, come on. 430 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,082 Ah, you're so... 431 00:20:35,076 --> 00:20:36,959 Ooh. 432 00:20:37,879 --> 00:20:39,253 Oh. 433 00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:43,770 A plastic pitcher from the hospital. 434 00:20:45,336 --> 00:20:47,363 You're gonna want to wash that. 435 00:20:48,031 --> 00:20:49,355 Barbara... 436 00:20:49,390 --> 00:20:50,645 Oh. 437 00:20:53,194 --> 00:20:56,195 Another plastic pitcher from the hospital. 438 00:20:56,231 --> 00:20:58,299 That one you're gonna want to boil. 439 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,547 Carol... 440 00:21:03,938 --> 00:21:05,137 Oh. 441 00:21:05,173 --> 00:21:07,707 Oh, Charley, what unusual earrings. Thank you. 442 00:21:07,742 --> 00:21:09,742 They're my tonsils. I had them bronzed. 443 00:21:09,777 --> 00:21:11,477 Oh, my god, daddy! 444 00:21:11,513 --> 00:21:14,113 Charley, get out! Out, out! 445 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,549 All right, all right, all right. All right, sweetheart. 446 00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:18,451 Hey, it's Mr. Patrick. 447 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,700 I love Mr. Patrick. 448 00:21:21,189 --> 00:21:22,421 So long, dietz. 449 00:21:22,457 --> 00:21:24,790 All right, westons, the party's over. 450 00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:27,059 Mr. Patrick, we've been through all this. 451 00:21:27,095 --> 00:21:29,495 You wanted proof, I got you proof. 452 00:21:29,531 --> 00:21:31,397 Please, please, Mr. Patrick... 453 00:21:31,432 --> 00:21:33,633 here they are... His puppies. 454 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,201 Mr. Patrick, I've had it with you. 455 00:21:35,236 --> 00:21:36,302 I've had it with you. This proves nothing. 456 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,529 Those puppies could be anybody's. 457 00:21:45,613 --> 00:21:47,346 Well, it could be a fluke. 458 00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:51,310 Come on, we've... 459 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,356 All right, so a couple of flukes. 460 00:22:01,396 --> 00:22:03,663 Dreyfuss, is there something you want to tell me? 461 00:22:03,713 --> 00:22:08,263 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33517

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