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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:03,168 CHUCK: Hi, I'm Chuck. 2 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,087 Here are things that you might need to know. 3 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,089 As the assistant manager and your boss... 4 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:10,718 ...it's my duty to inform you that I've had complaints from customers. 5 00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:12,594 General, what exactly is the Cipher? 6 00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:16,265 The Cipher is the artificial brain for the new Intersect computer. 7 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,600 GRAHAM: Tomorrow, the new computer will be online. 8 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:21,395 Operation Bartowski officially comes to an end. 9 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,230 Enjoy the rest of your life, Chuck. 10 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,274 You can do anything. I've seen you. 11 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,276 Anything you wanted you could have. 12 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,486 Do you wanna go on a date sometime? 13 00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:30,696 Okay. 14 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,532 We have to call off the date. The Intersect was destroyed. 15 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,200 What? But the Cipher-- 16 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,369 SARAH: It was a Trojan horse, a sabotage device. 17 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,121 The moment it came online.... 18 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,124 You're still the only Intersect. 19 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,797 CHUCK: I don't get it. 20 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,216 This time today, I was supposed to be a free man. 21 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,719 No more Intersect, possibly reclining on a beach... 22 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,096 ...with a colada and some undisclosed companion. 23 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,140 -What the hell happened? -It's technical. 24 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,143 It's a computer malfunction. I can help. That's my department. 25 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,645 It exploded into a million pieces, Graham with it. 26 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,606 You wanna help? Get some rubber gloves. 27 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,441 Wait, wait, wait. Graham is dead? 28 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,860 We're playing for keeps here, Chuck. 29 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,989 Well, at the risk of sounding callous, where does that leave us with the Intersect? 30 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:17,951 I'd get used to working at the Buy More. You ain't leaving anytime soon. 31 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,624 Gentlemen, females... 32 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,501 ...as the new assistant manager... 33 00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:28,837 ...I just want you to know that things are gonna run differently here. 34 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,131 Because we did our time together in the trenches... 35 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:34,176 ...I know what screwups most of you are, for example, Jeffrey. 36 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,638 You spend the hours of 3 and 5 sleeping in the employee bathroom. 37 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,264 Dude, that was our secret. 38 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:44,144 Morgan, no more borrowing company DVDs and then just reshrink-wrapping them. 39 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:47,189 What? That's outrageous, man. I've never heard such a thing. 40 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,691 -I'm insulted that you would-- -Oh, but-- Oh, no. 41 00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:52,820 Oh, okay. Okay, okay, company DVDs you're saying, right. 42 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:57,199 Please call me Mr. Patel or boss, or for our Latin friend, el jefe. 43 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,867 -Questions? MORGAN: Uh, Chuck. 44 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:01,203 -When are we offering--? -Hey, hey, hey. 45 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,038 All questions are address directly to me. 46 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,456 -El jefe. LESTER: Thank you. 47 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,458 When are we offering low-interest credit cards? 48 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:09,545 Ah, yes, yes, yes. When are we...? 49 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:10,754 CHUCK: Today. -Today. 50 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,215 Morgan, get the displays out. Any other questions? 51 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,383 Good. Dismissed. 52 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,385 I can't believe this is my life. 53 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,804 Morgan, do you remember a time when I had potential? 54 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,682 You kidding me? Yeah, you were bursting with it. 55 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,267 Man, I'm glad that's over with. 56 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:24,476 [CHUCKLES] 57 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:25,727 I'm kidding. Come on. 58 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:29,064 We all know that you're gonna go on to do great things, all right? Great things. 59 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,899 But until that day, just know... 60 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:35,529 ...that no matter how bad your life gets, you get to go home to that. 61 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:19,781 Is that, uh, a real kiss or a cover kiss? Because I'm confused right now. 62 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:23,952 A we-have-a-national-security-emergency and-I-need-to-speak-to-you-privately kiss. 63 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,246 I knew I felt something. Who's your mama? 64 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,956 Hey, I got an idea. 65 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:31,710 Why don't we blow off this whole thing and go to Mexico for a couple of days? 66 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,963 I'll get the daiquiris if the CIA picks up the plane tickets. 67 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,674 Chuck, I told you, we can't be together. It's unprofessional. 68 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,970 Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you with Bryce Larkin, super spy... 69 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,388 ...when you were together? 70 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:46,433 Bryce was a spy. You're an asset. And my job is to protect you. 71 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,435 CHUCK: Wait a minute. Why are we in a freezer? 72 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,479 All this to protect your toppings? 73 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,149 What the...? Hello. 74 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,488 This is new. What is this place? 75 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,241 The CIA decided to spring for new digs. 76 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,826 Finally, a first-rate operation. 77 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,329 Wow. 78 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,040 Looks expensive. 79 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,292 You guys are planning on staying for a while? 80 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:16,088 -That depends on you, Chuck. -How does it depend on me? 81 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,341 BECKMAN [OVER MONITOR]: Colt fed us a Trojan horse that blew up the Intersect. 82 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:20,968 The real Cipher is still out there. 83 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,470 Our intel tells us it may be in the possession... 84 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,223 ...of the former KGB operative, Sasha Banacheck. 85 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,433 We believe she's in town to sell it. 86 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,519 So why don't we grab her and find out? 87 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,355 Sasha Banacheck was in a Bulgarian prison for seven years. 88 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,815 They got nothing out of her. 89 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,442 The good news is, one agent was able to get close. 90 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,152 He's the reason she went away. 91 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,446 And he knows more about her than anyone alive. 92 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,865 That agent is Roan Montgomery. 93 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,868 Crap. The guy hates me. 94 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,871 My supervisor in operative training. Flunked me twice. 95 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:53,625 He's off the grid now. Use the Intersect to find Agent Montgomery. 96 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:54,876 All right. 97 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,504 Guys, sounds like a blast, really. 98 00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,923 Uh, but you can count me out on this one. 99 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,552 No more dangling me off buildings. No more guns being pointed at my head. 100 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,304 No more putting my life in danger. 101 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:09,891 I am going back to my peaceful, quiet, albeit degrading life at the Buy More. 102 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:11,310 So have fun on the mission. 103 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,688 And really love what you've done with the place. 104 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,065 Is there a problem with the asset? 105 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:20,861 No problem, general. I have the situation under control. 106 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,237 Chuck, wait. 107 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,905 -Chuck, wait. -Sarah, look. 108 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,907 You're right, okay? I'm not a real spy. 109 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:28,201 I'm not cut out for this adrenaline pumping... 110 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:32,080 -...risk-life-and-limb daily existence. -The sooner we get the Cipher... 111 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,499 ...the sooner you can have the Intersect removed. 112 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:38,503 You can be free to live whatever life you choose with whomever you choose. 113 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,672 What are you saying? 114 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,802 I'm saying that you can have everything that you've always wanted. 115 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:48,722 Let me see the file. 116 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:03,987 Wow. Okay. 117 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:07,074 Uh, the guy lives in Palm Springs and he's got a lot of lady friends. 118 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,829 So, what's the deal with this Roan guy? 119 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:15,374 He's a legend in the department. An incredible spy. 120 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,293 -Real old-school James Bond type. -Overrated, if you ask me. 121 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,961 What was the class that you failed? 122 00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:22,255 Infiltration and Inducement of Enemy Personnel. 123 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:24,758 Yeah, at the academy, we call it seduction school. 124 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,718 Yeah, like I need a class. 125 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,763 Wait, someone's already been here. 126 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,437 SARAH: Yeah, and they ransacked the place. 127 00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:46,446 Oh, my God. Oh, um, maybe I should wait in the car. 128 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,657 I'm having nightmares about the last few dead bodies. 129 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:49,866 [CHUCK GASPS] 130 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,493 [SNORING] 131 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:52,661 [TOILET FLUSHING] 132 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,329 WOMAN: I've got a flight to catch. -Oh. 133 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,164 [GASPS] 134 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,003 CHUCK: This is the guy that's supposed to help us? 135 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,673 I'm gonna be the Intersect forever. 136 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,219 DEVON: Good morning, sunshine. 137 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,055 What do you say we hit the shower for a quickie? 138 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,725 -Mm-hm. -Sorry, Chuck. 139 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,811 You know what, it would be nice if we had some romance on occasion. 140 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,521 I've got a good 42 minutes... 141 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,691 ...before I have to perform an emergency endotracheal intubation. 142 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,109 ELLIE: Ha, ha, that's very funny. 143 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,905 Do you realize that you have not taken me on one date since we've been engaged? 144 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,239 Took you out last week. 145 00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,783 To Arby's with Chuck and his little bearded friend. 146 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,244 It's not exactly every girl's dream. No offense, Chuck. 147 00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:17,412 None taken. 148 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,831 I guess I have been remiss in the romance department. 149 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,209 What we need to be is more like Chuck and Sarah. 150 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,920 -Excuse me? -Every time you see her, your eyes light up. 151 00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:26,713 How do you keep that spark alive? 152 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,424 [STAMMERING] I don't think I should be getting involved-- 153 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,759 What's the secret, bro? 154 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,678 We kind of just-- We pretend like we're not really dating. 155 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:34,930 Which is weird, I know. 156 00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:38,517 But it forces me to have to win her over again and again. 157 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,268 Aw. 158 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,812 -And again. -That is so sweet. 159 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:47,275 Honey, see, all I'm talking about is simply an evening of wining and dining. 160 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,903 I hear you, babe. Mission accepted. 161 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:51,863 The mission is the Cipher. 162 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:55,116 The brains of the Intercept, the most important piece. 163 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:58,620 If Sasha Banacheck has a Cipher, we've got 24 hours before she unloads it. 164 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,830 What's wrong? Did you find Agent Montgomery? 165 00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:05,293 We did. It's just he's having a bit of trouble remaining upright. 166 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,596 We tried everything: water, aspirin. The guy's out. 167 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,308 If we want Sasha Banacheck, it's up to us. 168 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,478 ROAN: G-man, G-man, G-man. Hello, Giorgio. 169 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,482 Thanks, Casey. 170 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,651 I suggest going old school. Torture it out of her. 171 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,986 ROAN: Torture will never work. 172 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,247 Hello, Diane. 173 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,125 Hello, Roan. 174 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:49,004 The only way to get Sasha Banacheck is to seduce her. 175 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:50,505 Well, duty calls. 176 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,341 Not you, Agent Frankenstein, she'll peg you as CIA. 177 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,176 We need somebody innocuous... 178 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,887 ...someone with whom she can let her guard down. 179 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:01,850 Essentially, the last person in the world she'd ever suspect of being an agent. 180 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:06,271 Charles, I'd like to have these Nerd Herd invoices logged today. 181 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,356 Uh, Lester, these are all from your jobs. 182 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,318 Correct. During your brief tenure as the assistant manager... 183 00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,194 ...you should've had me deal with it. 184 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,071 Now I have to clean up your mess. 185 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:17,657 Come on, brother. Time for you to show me something. 186 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,203 Let's go, lover boy. I need your services in a romantic capacity. 187 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,081 Oh, I'm flattered. I just hope Sarah's involved. 188 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,876 So your date tonight will be with Sasha Banacheck. 189 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,210 I'm sorry, what? 190 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:32,047 Previously-tortured-in-a-Bulgarian-prison Sasha Banacheck? 191 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,007 Casey and I will be there for cover. 192 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:37,052 Just approach her at the bar and get her to invite you up... 193 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,220 ...and see if you flash on anything in her room. 194 00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,514 One small problem. Why is she gonna choose me? 195 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,684 ROAN: Because you're not going to be you, you're going to be me. 196 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,897 I'll teach you everything you need to know. 197 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,483 First, the proper way to drink a martini. 198 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,403 Hold by stem. Nod to mark. 199 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,532 Slowly tilt back. 200 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:06,414 A moment to learn, a lifetime to perfect. 201 00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:08,416 Let's get to work. 202 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,251 CHUCK: Whoa. 203 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,672 -Come on. -His liver must look like camouflage. 204 00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,094 Hey, Morgan, you seen Chuck? 205 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,096 He, uh, left early. Why? What's up? 206 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,515 I wanna see if he can make himself scarce tonight. 207 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,393 Planning a romantic evening with my lady. 208 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,354 Really? Check you out, you big softie. 209 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,940 What's on the agenda, if I may be so bold? 210 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:36,653 Not sure. I may pick up some flowers, some candles, vino. 211 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,280 -Feed each other some jumbo shrimp. -Oh. 212 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,448 [CHUCKLES] 213 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,867 -You know about Ellie and shrimp, right? -No, what? 214 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,452 MORGAN: Famous Nantucket trip of '92. 215 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,621 Spent days curled up on a bathroom floor. 216 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,541 For years, she couldn't go near a beach without vomiting. 217 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,459 What else you got? 218 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:54,546 -Her favorite dessert, pecan pie. -Okay, she likes pecan pie. 219 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:58,633 Not her stuck-on-a-desert-island all-time favorite, but she likes it. 220 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,885 Morgan, ha, ha, I know my fiancée. 221 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:05,056 Really? How long have you been in love with Ellie for? Three years? 222 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,142 DEVON: Give or take. -Ha, ha. 223 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,018 Take a walk for a second. 224 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,647 I have dedicated myself to the study of that woman for 19 years. 225 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:16,234 I hate to pull rank here, but I think I know Ellie better than you. 226 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,904 All right? For example, for example, what is Ellie's favorite song of eighth grade? 227 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,614 Ha, ha. Why eighth grade? 228 00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,324 Oh, man, you don't know. That's okay. 229 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,745 You came to the right place, all right? We are gonna set her off. 230 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,581 You're not gonna wear that shirt, right? 231 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:35,754 I need to see what I'm dealing with. Assume your partner is the mark. 232 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,422 How would you seduce her? 233 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,923 That's an excellent question. 234 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:43,011 I would probably start with the, uh, bedroom eyes, maybe. 235 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,680 You know, the old Bartowski eyebrow dance. 236 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,766 And come in at you like this, you know. 237 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,643 -And then I'd start firing the guns at you. -Ha, ha. 238 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:53,271 Don't encourage him. This isn't happy hour at Chili's. 239 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,898 This is Sasha Banacheck. 240 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,608 I don't know. I would probably-- 241 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,903 You know, I'd be myself and I'd try and make her laugh a little bit. 242 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:02,113 Find a common cultural interest. Music. 243 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,323 Be yourself? 244 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:07,660 Do you think a woman like this could ever fall for a guy like you? 245 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,037 CHUCK: I don't know. 246 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:12,040 Barring any national security emergency, I think I might have a shot. 247 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:15,668 Be reasonable. This is a gorgeous and sophisticated woman. 248 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,129 -And you're-- -Passionate and sweet and caring. 249 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,380 Really? 250 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:21,216 Tall, dark and caring. What a combo. 251 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,718 SARAH: I didn't mean it like that. He has a lot to offer. 252 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,471 Fine. Let me see this caged passion. 253 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,931 -Kiss him. -Excuse me? 254 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,726 I don't think that's necessary at this particular juncture right now, Roan. 255 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,145 I'm solid as a rock in that department. 256 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,649 What's wrong? Don't you find Agent Walker attractive? 257 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,568 Of course I find her attractive. 258 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,571 It's just that I had a burrito earlier, and I'm trying to be respectful. 259 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:46,574 While I admire your chivalry, if you can't kiss her now... 260 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,536 ...what makes you think you're gonna kiss Sasha Banacheck... 261 00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:51,538 ...when the entire mission is on the line? 262 00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,414 -Chuck, it's okay. -Really? 263 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,083 Yes. Yes. 264 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,760 -There. -Have you had intercourse before? 265 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,929 You know what? You're crazy. This is crazy. 266 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,430 I don't have to take lessons. 267 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:12,100 Maybe I picked the wrong agent. I'll get Agent Casey. 268 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,269 -You want me to kiss her? -Desperately. 269 00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:15,728 Fine. 270 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,908 [CHUCK CLEARS THROAT] 271 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,618 Bravo. 272 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,537 I'd better fix my lipstick. Excuse me. 273 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,122 Sure. 274 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,459 That wasn't the first time that's happened. 275 00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:40,962 What? No. No, we're totally professional. 276 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,047 -We work together. -Don't worry, Charles. 277 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:47,635 I'll teach you how to get her too. But first, we're gonna need more gin. 278 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,554 We're dead. 279 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,230 Okay. You make sure his mike works. 280 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,524 I'll go load up the weapons. 281 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,318 CHUCK: Oh, it may not be the steamiest... 282 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:07,155 ...but we probably have the strangest relationship in Los Angeles. 283 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,490 I doubt that. Morgan's still dating, right? 284 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,910 Good point. 285 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,119 Tonight will be fine. 286 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,914 I wouldn't take Roan's advice too seriously. Just be yourself. 287 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:18,416 I doubt Chuck Bartowski's gonna be charming anyone. 288 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,919 Why not? Worked on me. 289 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,212 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 290 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:26,674 -We need to talk about protection. -I don't think it's gonna get that far. 291 00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,509 I mean a gun. 292 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,054 Why do you think she's known as the Black Widow? 293 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,681 She's African American and her husband died. 294 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,558 Because she kills all her mates. 295 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,113 Big Mike. Hey. 296 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:50,865 Uh, you wanted to see me? 297 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,284 First, I'm digging the new vest. 298 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,119 Oh, ha, ha, thank you. 299 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:58,039 Next, why aren't my credit-card displays out? 300 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:02,085 Yeah, I've told Morgan three times, sir. But don't worry, I am on it. 301 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:05,713 -They ain't listening to you. -It's just a matter of time, sir. 302 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,715 The problem is, they don't fear you. 303 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,551 Yeah. Yeah, you're right, they don't, they don't. 304 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,053 How do I get them to fear me? 305 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,390 Don't you watch Animal Planet? Find the wounded gazelle and pounce. 306 00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:17,809 Thus endeth the lesson. 307 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,159 If he survives the night, it will be a miracle. 308 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,329 SARAH [OVER MIKE]: Shh. He can hear you. -Thanks for the vote of confidence. 309 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,373 Don't be nervous, Chuck. We'll be watching you. 310 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:44,085 I'm gonna walk you through the famous four-pronged Montgomery attack. 311 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,754 First, work the room. 312 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,517 When you enter a room, every eye should be upon you. 313 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,478 You could leave the bar with any woman you desire... 314 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:05,773 ...but you have chosen her. 315 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:08,109 Easy, Chuck, you're doing great. 316 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,862 Next, she'll need to be well-lubricated. 317 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,990 Ice-cold dirty martini. 318 00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:16,117 Three olives. 319 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,078 [CLEARS THROAT] 320 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,372 Excuse me. Is this seat taken? 321 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,708 I'll take that as no. 322 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,127 Charles Carmichael. And you are? 323 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,546 -Bored. -Well, maybe I can change that. 324 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,715 -Garçon. MAN: May I help you? 325 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,134 CHUCK: Yes, sir. Please, two ice-cold dirty martinis. 326 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,886 Three olives. Thank you. 327 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:36,888 SASHA: That's very nice. 328 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,139 But I no longer drink. 329 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,475 Doesn't drink? That's-- 330 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:44,228 I'm sorry. How is this boy supposed to seduce her without alcohol? 331 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:45,980 Don't worry, Chuck. It'll be fine. 332 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,400 I should probably cut back too. A lot of calories in those martinis. 333 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:53,571 Enjoy your martinis, Mr. Carmichael. 334 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,990 SARAH: It's okay. Don't get discouraged. 335 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,742 ROAN: That was just round one. 336 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,994 You're calm, confident, charming. 337 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,830 Yeah, apparently not. She left after 12 seconds. 338 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,500 You're still alive, aren't you? That's a victory. 339 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:07,877 Okay, Chuck. Here we go. 340 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,421 A woman wants a man to take control. 341 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,049 Even though she won't say it, she wants to be rescued. 342 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,842 Actually, that's not true, Chuck. 343 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,887 Some women prefer a man who can take a back seat. 344 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:21,682 -I'm talking about the Black Widow. -So am I. 345 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:23,935 Maybe he doesn't need to pretend to be someone else. 346 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,188 I promise you, Chuck Bartowski on his own can seduce this woman. 347 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,191 I appreciate all of that, but can we focus on the mission? 348 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,360 Yes, Charles. All right, the third prong. 349 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,238 The woman is an absolute Francophile. 350 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,199 Just the mention of Saint-Tropez makes her woozy. 351 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,247 I hate to keep bothering you, but you look so familiar. 352 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:46,040 Perhaps we met in Saint-Tropez. 353 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,627 At the Intercontinental. 354 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,963 At the Intercontinental. 355 00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,888 Antoine the piano player is best in Europe, don't you agree? 356 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:05,059 Oh, I'm a big, big fan of Antoine's. Wouldn't miss him for the world. 357 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,436 Antoine has been dead for six years. 358 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,482 Aw, poor Antoine. That's tragic. 359 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,651 That is a shame. No one ever called. 360 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,074 But you prefer the new piano player, Marcel. 361 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,493 For my money, though, I prefer Marcel. 362 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,663 Better solos, longer jams, just more of an accomplished pianist. 363 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,123 But maybe that's just me. 364 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:30,918 I have to agree. 365 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,755 Barkeep, a refill for the lady, please. 366 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:39,760 To Antoine. 367 00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,930 May he rest in peace. 368 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:52,273 Are you prepared for an evening of intense seduction? 369 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,441 Can't wait. 370 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,443 This is very sweet. What did you do? 371 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,111 Patience, babe. 372 00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,198 First, some tunes. I'm taking it old school. 373 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,284 Does the eighth grade lunchroom ring any bells? 374 00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,203 That's right. Richard Marx, Repeat Offender. 375 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,954 ["RIGHT HERE WAITING" PLAYS OVER SPEAKER] 376 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,706 -Ha, ha. -Okay. 377 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,958 Next, a little something for the sweet tooth. 378 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:12,126 Your favorite dessert. 379 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,004 Seriously, babe, what would you do for a Klondike Bar? 380 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:18,341 -I guess we'll find that out later. Ha, ha. -Not much. 381 00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:21,802 And finally, for the evening's entertainment... 382 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:24,055 ...your favorite all-time movie. 383 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,973 -Casablanca. -No. 384 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,892 Sister Act. 385 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,563 Honey, why, out of all the movies in the world... 386 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,357 ...would SisterAct be my favorite? 387 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:37,860 Morgan said he sat behind you in the theater and you were hysterical. 388 00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:40,238 I have no recollection of that. 389 00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:43,532 You consulted Morgan for an evening of intense seduction? 390 00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:45,868 Technically, he has known you longer. 391 00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,078 [CHUCKLES] 392 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,329 Okay. You know what? 393 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:53,000 Just for future reference, my favorite dessert is pecan pie. 394 00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:54,835 Well, that's what I said. 395 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,254 Hey, wait, where you going? 396 00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,089 I have to be up at 5 a.m. 397 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,508 -What about our date? -Well, why don't you call Morgan? 398 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:04,178 Since evidently you planned his favorite evening. Okay? 399 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,849 That furry little bastard. 400 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,853 So how long have you and Charles been cavorting? 401 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,524 You mean, how long have we been working together? 402 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,859 Don't play coy. You have feelings for him. 403 00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:21,195 I mean, real, non-spy emotions. 404 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,699 Don't be ridiculous. What, because I'm protective of him as an asset? 405 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,867 No. The way you kissed him. 406 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:30,538 -I think you've had too much to drink. -No such thing. 407 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:32,748 BOTH: Oh. 408 00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:35,084 That's real professional. Look at what you did. 409 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:37,295 I know. That's expensive gin. 410 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,547 [LAUGHS] 411 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:40,756 Itchy ear there. 412 00:21:40,924 --> 00:21:43,384 So actually, it was invented by, uh, a Hungarian baker... 413 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,428 ...to commemorate the defeat of the Turks. 414 00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,888 And that is the true history behind the croissant. 415 00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:50,558 Ha, ha. That's just a little pastry trivia for you. 416 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:53,853 You are a fountain of information, Mr. Carmichael. 417 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,396 -Well.... -Ha, ha. 418 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:58,482 [SPEAKING IN FRENCH] 419 00:21:58,650 --> 00:21:59,942 Mm? 420 00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:10,161 [SPEAKING IN FRENCH] 421 00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,246 And what bands are you into? 422 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,291 If you'd just admit I'm right, we could move on. 423 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:19,420 Anything you perceived as me wanting him to think I like him. 424 00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,547 I assure you, I have no feelings for Chuck. 425 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,424 He is just an asset. 426 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:28,387 Okay, we're back up. Can you hear us? 427 00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:30,639 Good night, Mr. Carmichael. 428 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,934 Mission failed. Black Widow's on the move. 429 00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:35,770 Great. You know, I hope you're happy. 430 00:22:35,937 --> 00:22:38,314 I told you, he's an analyst, not a spy. 431 00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:48,783 Way to go, Casanova. You're gonna have the Intersect in your head forever. 432 00:22:48,950 --> 00:22:51,786 Okay, everybody, let's pack it up. 433 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:54,872 Roan, what is the fourth prong of the famous assault? 434 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,291 ROAN: The mission's over. It's too dangerous. 435 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,794 -You're not ready for this. -I'm ready. What is it? 436 00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:01,295 ROAN: Be a bastard. 437 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,130 CHUCK: When you say "bastard," you mean--? 438 00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:05,341 -I mean not you, Chuck. CHUCK: All right. 439 00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:08,511 ROAN: Sensitive, caring, sweet, be everything you're not. 440 00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:10,054 Be Carmichael. 441 00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:12,973 [SIGHS] 442 00:23:13,141 --> 00:23:15,142 -Hey, missy. ROAN: Don't call her missy. 443 00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,144 Yes, Mr. Carmichael? 444 00:23:17,312 --> 00:23:19,188 I just wanna tell you you're a fool. 445 00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,816 -Excuse me? -No, I don't think I will. 446 00:23:21,983 --> 00:23:24,443 So you're heading up to your room to get ready for bed. 447 00:23:24,611 --> 00:23:26,862 Floss, creams, maybe watch a little TV. 448 00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:28,781 Just before you drift off to sleep... 449 00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:31,409 ...you're going to have one final, terrifying thought. 450 00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:32,618 Really? What's that? 451 00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:36,163 That you passed up an evening with the greatest lover you'll ever know. 452 00:23:36,331 --> 00:23:37,498 And who might that be? 453 00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,333 Oh, you're looking at him, sister. 454 00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:42,628 A man trained in the art of seduction, who has traveled the world... 455 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,839 ...sampling women of every culture and creed. 456 00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:47,466 I will offer one final time before boarding my jet... 457 00:23:47,634 --> 00:23:50,010 ...to an undisclosed rendezvous, of which I am already late. 458 00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:51,387 Can I buy you a club soda? 459 00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:53,764 No, thank you. 460 00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,558 Okay, I just thought I'd ask. Good night. 461 00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:58,894 But you can take me up to my room and make mad, passionate sex to me. 462 00:23:59,062 --> 00:24:00,187 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 463 00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:02,940 I've still got it. 464 00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,303 SASHA: Make yourself a drink, Mr. Carmichael. 465 00:24:33,054 --> 00:24:35,014 I'm going to slip into something... 466 00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:38,017 ...a little bit more comfortable. 467 00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:40,728 Yeah, you do that. Take your time, doll. 468 00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:42,396 I'll just, uh, be here. 469 00:24:45,942 --> 00:24:47,401 Where the hell are you guys? 470 00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:50,446 You worked too quick, stallion. We didn't have time to set up. 471 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:53,782 It's okay, Chuck. We're on our way. Did you flash on anything? 472 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,880 Abort mission, abort mission, abort mission. 473 00:25:08,715 --> 00:25:11,091 Gentlemen. Can you secure this area? 474 00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:13,636 Miss Banacheck and I are gonna need some privacy. 475 00:25:13,803 --> 00:25:18,849 If the hotel room is rocking, then we're probably having sex. 476 00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,559 Get me out of here. 477 00:25:20,727 --> 00:25:23,187 Don't worry. Roan Montgomery will get you out of this. 478 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:27,066 I've been in worse situations. Did I ever tell you about the time in Thailand... 479 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:29,944 ...with the king's daughter on the palace roof? 480 00:25:30,111 --> 00:25:32,947 No, you failed to mention it. How do I get out of here right now? 481 00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:35,491 I want you to go out on the balcony. 482 00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:40,287 Okay, now what? 483 00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:43,249 I want you to take a bed sheet, tie it around your waist... 484 00:25:43,416 --> 00:25:46,585 ...climb up on the railing and leap off the ledge. 485 00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:49,380 Are you out of your mind? I'm not a real spy. 486 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:50,631 I don't leap. 487 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:52,925 Oh, there you are. 488 00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:03,644 It's a little chilly out there, hmm? 489 00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:07,189 No, not at all. No, it's quite pleasant tonight. 490 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:09,233 -Mm-hm. -Oh. 491 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,569 Come on. Why so shy, hmm? 492 00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,487 Well, uh, um.... 493 00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:17,324 Uh, well, because we just kind of met and kind of seeing someone right now. 494 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,662 I'm going to do things to you... 495 00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:24,290 ...you never, never, never dreamed possible. 496 00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:27,126 Well, I have a very vivid imagination. 497 00:26:28,503 --> 00:26:29,503 Hello, Roan. 498 00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:32,047 You shouldn't have sent a boy to do a man's job. 499 00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:33,257 [GUN COCKS] 500 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:35,426 Get out of there, now. 501 00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,011 No, no, wait. Why would you--? 502 00:26:37,178 --> 00:26:40,431 Oh, my God, that's a huge knife. Look, you don't wanna do this. 503 00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:43,809 -I'm a young guy. SASHA: Don't beg for you life. 504 00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:45,185 You have nothing to offer. 505 00:26:45,353 --> 00:26:47,438 Well, I have this. 506 00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:48,647 [GASPS] 507 00:26:50,358 --> 00:26:52,818 Roan, how did Thailand work again? 508 00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:54,862 [TIRES SQUEALING] 509 00:26:55,530 --> 00:26:56,697 Roan? 510 00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:58,032 Roan. 511 00:26:58,199 --> 00:26:59,658 [GUN COCKS] 512 00:26:59,826 --> 00:27:01,535 -Wow. -Happy anniversary, honey. 513 00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,454 [GRUNTS THEN WOMAN SCREAMS] 514 00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,497 -Pervert. -No. 515 00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:07,166 [SCREAMING] 516 00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:10,377 To a night of infinite possibilities. 517 00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:15,716 Sorry to interrupt. Enjoy your night. 518 00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:22,181 Sarah, tell me you saw that. Leaped from the balcony. 519 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:25,184 Lands with a flourish. The Russian judge gives it a 9.4. 520 00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:27,728 By the way, I have a little thing called the Cipher. 521 00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:30,689 Yes, Mr. Carmichael. I'm very interested. 522 00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:36,028 There could be more. We need to get out of here. 523 00:27:36,905 --> 00:27:39,573 If you ever want to see your fellow agents alive again... 524 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,408 ...meet me tomorrow with the Cipher. 525 00:27:41,576 --> 00:27:43,744 6th and Alameda, 10 p.m. 526 00:27:44,245 --> 00:27:45,704 Come alone. 527 00:27:45,872 --> 00:27:48,832 Roan? Roan? 528 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,252 WOMAN 1: Why are we here so late? 529 00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:55,130 If you're not gonna respect me, hmm... 530 00:27:55,298 --> 00:27:57,257 ...you will fear me. 531 00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,218 May I present... 532 00:28:00,261 --> 00:28:02,930 ...the wheel of misfortune. 533 00:28:03,098 --> 00:28:06,141 We had a version of one of these in my home when I was growing up. 534 00:28:06,309 --> 00:28:07,434 It is very effective. 535 00:28:07,602 --> 00:28:09,144 Now, my pretty, pretty staff... 536 00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:12,439 ...I shall choose one of you to christen the wheel. 537 00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:15,109 Mr. Grimes. 538 00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:20,114 -He's not spinning. -Uh, hold on a second, baby. 539 00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:21,573 -I'll spin. -Mm-hm. 540 00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:23,659 I got this. 541 00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:34,128 It's all good, guys. 542 00:28:36,297 --> 00:28:37,631 Oh. 543 00:28:38,842 --> 00:28:41,427 Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. That's just my luck. 544 00:28:41,594 --> 00:28:42,636 You can't fire him. 545 00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:44,972 Anna, it's not me. The wheel has spoken. 546 00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,807 -It's out of my hands. -Fine. 547 00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:49,309 If he's fired, I quit. 548 00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:51,812 WOMAN 2: Yeah. -That's your choice, then. 549 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:54,106 -If Anna leaves, I have to follow my heart. -What? 550 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,483 I told you, you've got no shot. 551 00:28:56,651 --> 00:28:57,985 Jeffrey. Jeffrey, stay here. 552 00:28:58,153 --> 00:29:00,612 Without Jeff, this place blows. 553 00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:02,156 What? 554 00:29:02,323 --> 00:29:04,241 Okay, fine, fine. Go. 555 00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:06,118 Go! Who needs you? 556 00:29:06,286 --> 00:29:08,579 You're all fired. You're all fired. 557 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,080 Do I have your attention now? 558 00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:13,417 Do I have your attention now? 559 00:29:18,965 --> 00:29:21,759 You know, she's going to kill them. 560 00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:25,012 I guess I'm just gonna have to take my chances. 561 00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:28,182 But I can't save them alone. I need your help, Roan. 562 00:29:28,349 --> 00:29:32,019 They knew what they were getting into. That's the game we play. 563 00:29:33,354 --> 00:29:38,275 If you show up, there will be three dead agents instead of just two. 564 00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:40,277 What, so that's it? 565 00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:43,030 What happened to being the world's greatest spy? 566 00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:45,491 That was a long time ago. 567 00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:51,580 Roan Montgomery is not the man you see before you. 568 00:29:53,833 --> 00:29:58,629 My life may be boring and cowardly, but I'm alive. 569 00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:01,131 That's more than most in my line of work can claim. 570 00:30:01,299 --> 00:30:02,800 But you're a legend, Roan. 571 00:30:02,967 --> 00:30:04,635 Don't you understand that? 572 00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:07,554 So how can you just sit there and watch them die? 573 00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:11,892 Because I'm not in love with one of the agents. 574 00:30:12,769 --> 00:30:14,394 I'm not.... 575 00:30:15,355 --> 00:30:19,233 I care about them. I care about both of them. 576 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,903 Besides, we heard what she said, okay? To her, I'm just an asset. 577 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:24,738 No, you're not. 578 00:30:26,032 --> 00:30:27,074 Trust me. 579 00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:30,702 The lady doth protest too much. 580 00:30:31,871 --> 00:30:35,082 But, Charles, you have to ask yourself... 581 00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:38,502 ...is she worth dying for? 582 00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:44,716 Yes. 583 00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:46,927 [ROAN SIGHS] 584 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:48,595 Poor boy. 585 00:30:49,430 --> 00:30:52,432 Lesson number one on being a spy: 586 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,562 Never fall in love. 587 00:30:57,605 --> 00:31:00,148 Well, then I guess I'm not much of a spy. 588 00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:03,902 And you're not much of a legend. 589 00:31:06,614 --> 00:31:08,866 Listen to me. I'm trying to reach General Beckman. 590 00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:10,909 My name is Chuck Bartowski. 591 00:31:11,077 --> 00:31:13,078 I'm not listed? Look, I'm a spy, all right? 592 00:31:13,246 --> 00:31:14,997 Try my alias, Charles Carmichael. 593 00:31:15,164 --> 00:31:19,126 I'm trying to contact General Beckman. I need to speak with her before tonight. 594 00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:22,963 Just have General Beckman call me as soon as possible, all right? It's an emergency. 595 00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:28,302 Morning. 596 00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:30,262 Oh, hey, Chuck. 597 00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:32,973 -What's going on? -Some trouble on the home front. 598 00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:36,143 I totally screwed up. Went to Morgan for romance advice. 599 00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:38,353 Yeah, that's, uh, that's never a great policy. 600 00:31:38,521 --> 00:31:41,315 No. I've gotta do something to make this up to your sis. 601 00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:44,985 -What are you thinking about doing? -What I should've done last night. 602 00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:46,945 Cover this place in rose petals... 603 00:31:47,113 --> 00:31:50,616 ...roaring fire, simple candlelit dinner, pecan pie. 604 00:31:50,783 --> 00:31:52,451 Maybe give her a foot massage in the tub. 605 00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:54,953 That's a natural place, I think, to stop giving me details. 606 00:31:55,121 --> 00:31:57,956 -So why don't you? -Well, when, you know? 607 00:31:58,124 --> 00:32:01,877 I've gotta be at work in, like, 20 minutes. Got a 5 a.m. call tomorrow. 608 00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:04,671 I'll do it. I just hope I'm not too late. 609 00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:16,642 -Charles. -Where is everybody? 610 00:32:16,809 --> 00:32:18,602 -Oh, you mean your coworkers? -Sure. 611 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:21,521 We had a little disagreement. Some things needed to be done. 612 00:32:21,689 --> 00:32:23,482 I fired the majority of the staff. 613 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,233 -You what? LESTER: Mm-hm. 614 00:32:25,401 --> 00:32:26,443 [GROANS] 615 00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:29,071 I'm dead. When Big Mike gets here, there's no one in the store. 616 00:32:29,238 --> 00:32:30,822 He's gonna fire me. Help me, man. 617 00:32:30,990 --> 00:32:32,658 -How? -Ask them to come back to work. 618 00:32:32,825 --> 00:32:35,202 -Why don't you ask them? -Then they won't fear me. 619 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:37,204 Michael. So nice to see you, sir. 620 00:32:37,372 --> 00:32:38,705 Gentlemen. 621 00:32:40,083 --> 00:32:42,542 -Something amiss, Patel? -Um, Morgan's on an errand. 622 00:32:42,710 --> 00:32:44,670 -Anna's in the stockroom. -I mean your vest. 623 00:32:44,837 --> 00:32:47,089 Oh, yeah. It's in my locker. I was gonna change right now. 624 00:32:47,256 --> 00:32:50,008 -And the managers-only doughnuts? -They're on your desk, sir. 625 00:32:50,677 --> 00:32:52,970 Tight ship you're running, Patel. 626 00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:54,554 Gentlemen. 627 00:32:57,934 --> 00:32:59,226 Maybe he won't ever notice. 628 00:32:59,394 --> 00:33:01,853 Depends on how long it takes him to eat a box of doughnuts. 629 00:33:02,021 --> 00:33:03,063 [MOUTHING] Oh, yeah. 630 00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:04,690 Thank you for coming. 631 00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:11,363 What I didn't mention last night was that everybody gets one practice spin. 632 00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:15,117 So in all fairness, I gotta give Morgan here another shot, okay? 633 00:33:15,284 --> 00:33:16,994 Here we go. Come on now. 634 00:33:17,161 --> 00:33:18,495 No one is spinning the wheel. 635 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:21,581 You want us back, you're gonna have to make some changes around here. 636 00:33:21,749 --> 00:33:22,874 WOMAN: Uh-huh. 637 00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:26,753 Okay, okay. Ha, ha. 638 00:33:26,921 --> 00:33:30,549 Labor negotiations are part of the process. Thoughts, musings? 639 00:33:30,717 --> 00:33:32,718 -We want two-hour lunch breaks. -No way. 640 00:33:32,885 --> 00:33:34,636 Okay, okay, okay. 641 00:33:34,804 --> 00:33:37,139 Okay, you got it. You drive a hard bargain. 642 00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:39,224 -Ha, ha, what else? -Unlimited bathroom time... 643 00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,810 ...for both resting and relaxation. 644 00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:44,604 -Mm, done. -And you spin the wheel. 645 00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:50,610 Anna, Anna, I don't think that's necessary. 646 00:33:50,778 --> 00:33:53,905 We were doing well here. I don't think that I-- 647 00:33:54,073 --> 00:33:56,283 Live by the sword, die by the sword. 648 00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:58,744 Ha, ha. You don't even know what that means. 649 00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:08,670 ANNA: Yeah, diaper-station duty. 650 00:34:08,838 --> 00:34:10,630 MORGAN: Baby needs wipe. Baby needs wipe. 651 00:34:12,675 --> 00:34:13,759 Nice. Nicely done. 652 00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:17,012 -You can go and bring that up to the front. -Oh, thank you. 653 00:34:30,777 --> 00:34:32,486 Mr. Bartowski. 654 00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:35,822 Lovely cover they've got you working. 655 00:34:36,365 --> 00:34:40,327 Perhaps you would like to elaborate on what you meant last night by "legend." 656 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:43,163 I meant what I said. You were great once. 657 00:34:43,831 --> 00:34:45,624 Are you here to help or just browsing? 658 00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:48,543 I suppose that depends on what your plan is for tonight. 659 00:34:48,711 --> 00:34:50,712 My plan is to show up at the meeting spot... 660 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,423 ...and exchange the Cipher for Casey and Sarah. 661 00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:56,635 You're determined to risk your life for these people? 662 00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,762 -They'd do it for me. -We should revise your plan. 663 00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,515 Come up with something that doesn't get us all killed. 664 00:35:01,682 --> 00:35:02,849 I'm open to that. 665 00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:11,108 [CAR HORN HONKING] 666 00:35:19,325 --> 00:35:21,368 I have a package for Sasha Banacheck. 667 00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:24,996 You need to sign. 668 00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:27,499 [PHONE RINGING] 669 00:35:30,711 --> 00:35:31,753 Hello? 670 00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:34,005 CHUCK [OVER PHONE]: Here's how this is gonna go down. 671 00:35:34,173 --> 00:35:35,715 Want the Cipher, you play by my rules. 672 00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:39,719 Meet me at 9000 Burbank Boulevard and bring the hostages. 673 00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:42,597 [SIGHS] 674 00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:44,057 [PHONE RINGING] 675 00:35:44,475 --> 00:35:45,517 It's her. 676 00:35:45,685 --> 00:35:47,269 Answer it. 677 00:35:48,354 --> 00:35:49,855 Hello? 678 00:35:50,398 --> 00:35:52,941 Oh, sorry, yeah. You're just gonna wanna take the 5 north. 679 00:35:53,109 --> 00:35:54,401 That's probably the easiest. 680 00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,862 Burbank Boulevard exit. Make a left at the light. 681 00:35:57,029 --> 00:35:58,738 Sorry. You can find it. 682 00:36:15,381 --> 00:36:17,132 CHUCK [OVER TV]: Greetings. 683 00:36:17,758 --> 00:36:19,718 I see you found your way. 684 00:36:22,638 --> 00:36:25,098 Hope traffic wasn't too bad. 685 00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:29,269 As you can see, I have the Cipher. 686 00:36:29,437 --> 00:36:32,939 Once my friends are safely out of the store, I'll tell you where to find it. 687 00:36:33,107 --> 00:36:36,776 It's been a pleasure working with you. I wish you luck in all your future endeavors. 688 00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:39,446 Remember, we'll always have Paris. 689 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,072 [SCREAMS] 690 00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:45,160 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 691 00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:51,666 Oh. Oh. 692 00:36:54,420 --> 00:36:55,587 [SCREAMS] 693 00:36:57,006 --> 00:36:58,465 [BANGING ON DOOR] 694 00:37:10,811 --> 00:37:15,315 Well, now that your savior is trapped with the Cipher... 695 00:37:15,483 --> 00:37:16,900 ...I no longer need hostages. 696 00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:20,695 -So goodbye. -I wouldn't do that if I were you. 697 00:37:22,448 --> 00:37:24,449 -Roan. -Hello, Sasha. 698 00:37:24,617 --> 00:37:25,659 [GASPS] 699 00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:27,327 I should have killed you years ago. 700 00:37:27,495 --> 00:37:30,455 Yes, probably. Would you please drop your guns? 701 00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:33,792 -Who the hell is that? -That is Roan Montgomery. 702 00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:39,172 [SCREAMS] 703 00:37:41,342 --> 00:37:42,467 Stand back, Roan. 704 00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:46,054 Or I'll kill her. 705 00:37:46,222 --> 00:37:47,472 No, no, no. 706 00:37:48,015 --> 00:37:50,183 ROAN [OVER MIKE]: Where are you? -I'm on the roof. 707 00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:54,312 -Charles, remember Thailand? -This is not time for one of your stories. 708 00:37:54,855 --> 00:37:58,316 -Remember Thailand. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 709 00:37:58,484 --> 00:38:00,944 You were on the palace roof and you tied a bed sheet-- 710 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:02,529 No, no, no. 711 00:38:03,698 --> 00:38:05,532 Charles, it's time to be a spy. 712 00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:06,866 I'm not. I'm not a spy. 713 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,285 [SARAH GRUNTS] 714 00:38:09,078 --> 00:38:11,329 SASHA: Bring me the Cipher right now or I'll kill her. 715 00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:16,042 I guess you gotta die sometime. 716 00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:23,049 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 717 00:38:28,723 --> 00:38:30,557 It'd just be nice if it wasn't today. 718 00:38:30,725 --> 00:38:31,891 [SCREAMS] 719 00:38:32,059 --> 00:38:34,686 Sarah! 720 00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:39,441 SARAH: Chuck. 721 00:38:40,109 --> 00:38:42,068 Chuck. Are you okay? 722 00:38:42,236 --> 00:38:44,446 I'm fine. I'm fine. How are you? 723 00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:46,114 I'm fine. 724 00:38:46,699 --> 00:38:49,409 Now that's what I call a spy. 725 00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,595 I ain't new. 726 00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:10,847 BECKMAN [OVER MONITOR]: Excellent work, team. Thanks. 727 00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:12,098 We have the Cipher. 728 00:39:12,266 --> 00:39:14,601 General, Chuck was invaluable on this mission. 729 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:17,479 He also risked his life several times to save ours. 730 00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,939 BECKMAN: Your country thanks you, Chuck. 731 00:39:20,107 --> 00:39:23,985 Hopefully, we can now rebuild the Intersect and this nightmare can be over for you. 732 00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:25,362 Have a nice day. 733 00:39:25,529 --> 00:39:29,449 Wait. Actually, while I appreciate all of your kind words... 734 00:39:29,617 --> 00:39:32,327 ...if we're going to continue to coexist happily... 735 00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:35,955 ...I think that the government needs to start pulling their weight around here. 736 00:39:36,123 --> 00:39:37,957 What did you have in mind, Chuck? 737 00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:39,959 DEVON: Ellie, I just wanna apologize again. 738 00:39:40,127 --> 00:39:42,128 I know I may seem like Mr. Smooth... 739 00:39:42,296 --> 00:39:45,924 ...but the truth is, I don't have a million moves. 740 00:39:46,092 --> 00:39:47,550 All I know is I love you. 741 00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:49,469 I don't need moves, Devon. 742 00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:52,555 Just the fact that you're trying is enough. 743 00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:09,864 Is that pecan pie? 744 00:40:10,324 --> 00:40:13,326 I can't believe I fell for that. You're the sweetest man in the whole world. 745 00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:15,161 [CHUCKLES] 746 00:40:15,329 --> 00:40:17,330 No biggie, babe. 747 00:40:20,334 --> 00:40:22,544 Well, be sure and thank the CIA for me. 748 00:40:22,711 --> 00:40:24,170 Our pleasure. 749 00:40:24,338 --> 00:40:26,798 I suppose I should thank you for saving my life. 750 00:40:26,966 --> 00:40:29,884 Oh, you've done it for me a time or two. I'm probably still in debt. 751 00:40:30,052 --> 00:40:32,554 I have to admit, that was pretty impressive. 752 00:40:32,721 --> 00:40:34,597 Right? I mean, come on. 753 00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,558 I know I'm just an asset. 754 00:40:36,725 --> 00:40:38,560 But between the two of us... 755 00:40:38,727 --> 00:40:41,813 ...I mean, have you ever seen anyone do something like that before? 756 00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:43,565 I think it's safe to say, Chuck... 757 00:40:43,732 --> 00:40:45,942 ...that I've never seen anyone quite like you. 758 00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:49,946 ROAN: Well, Agent Casey, thanks for the accommodations. 759 00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:51,448 Agent Montgomery. 760 00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:53,074 The reason I failed you twice... 761 00:40:53,242 --> 00:40:57,370 ...was that your partner at the time was too pretty to pass. 762 00:40:57,538 --> 00:40:59,706 Should have failed her a few more times. 763 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,624 Should have known. 764 00:41:06,213 --> 00:41:08,548 Adieu, Agent Walker. 765 00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:10,925 It was a real pleasure, Agent Montgomery. 766 00:41:11,552 --> 00:41:14,471 Well, I'll, um-- I'll see you later, Chuck. 767 00:41:16,765 --> 00:41:18,057 ROAN: Ah. 768 00:41:18,392 --> 00:41:19,976 Let her go. 769 00:41:21,020 --> 00:41:24,814 A great man once said it will give her the illusion of being pursued. 770 00:41:26,984 --> 00:41:29,235 -You trust me? -Yeah. 771 00:41:29,403 --> 00:41:31,070 Good. Do you own a white dinner jacket? 772 00:41:31,238 --> 00:41:32,405 -No. -Rent one. 773 00:41:32,573 --> 00:41:35,366 Tonight you will show up with a bottle of Château Margaux... 774 00:41:35,534 --> 00:41:38,328 ...the dinner jacket and a single red rose... 775 00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:41,789 ...known in several countries as the Montgomery. 776 00:41:42,541 --> 00:41:45,084 [PHONE RINGS] 777 00:41:45,252 --> 00:41:47,337 -Goodbye, Charles. -Goodbye, Roan. 778 00:41:48,672 --> 00:41:49,756 Hello, Diane. 779 00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:52,800 Yeah, on my way to the airport. 780 00:41:52,968 --> 00:41:54,969 Should be in Dallas by the morning. 781 00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:23,873 SARAH: Chuck. 782 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,292 Hi. 783 00:42:26,752 --> 00:42:28,670 -Um.... -Hello, Chuck. 784 00:42:30,172 --> 00:42:32,048 CHUCK: Bryce? -Miss me? 785 00:43:13,924 --> 00:43:15,925 [ENGLISH SDH] 61804

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