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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:05,294 --> 00:00:07,927 You look great in that hat, darling. Very festive. 3 00:00:10,418 --> 00:00:13,105 I'm sorry. You didn't buy that, did you? 4 00:00:13,106 --> 00:00:15,616 You look like you're wearing a giant, red, woolly condom. 5 00:00:15,617 --> 00:00:17,527 Please do not wear that to my Christmas party. 6 00:00:17,528 --> 00:00:19,503 Hey, I am adorable in this thing. 7 00:00:19,504 --> 00:00:21,856 And also, I can't make it to your Christmas party. 8 00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:23,140 I'm sorry. 9 00:00:23,174 --> 00:00:26,409 Terry, please tell me that this is one of your jokes I don't understand. 10 00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:29,413 It's just, the last few Christmases haven't been so great for Danny. 11 00:00:29,431 --> 00:00:32,048 Anyway, that is all going to change this year. 12 00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:33,912 I am gonna blow Danny's Christmas mind. 13 00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,964 We're gonna do everything the way my mom did for me... 14 00:00:35,998 --> 00:00:38,550 Turkey, carols, Christmas movies. 15 00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,714 Strike 2! 16 00:00:41,715 --> 00:00:44,500 So, what are you getting your mom for Christmas? 17 00:00:44,598 --> 00:00:46,113 Maybe bangs...? 18 00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:48,376 Wait. No. That would be more a gift for me. 19 00:00:48,394 --> 00:00:50,645 I want to get my mom the perfect gift. 20 00:00:56,618 --> 00:00:58,670 Batter's out! That's game! 21 00:00:58,721 --> 00:01:01,556 - It was a foul! - Hey, dingus! 22 00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,041 How many times I got to tell ya? 23 00:01:03,042 --> 00:01:04,824 If ya bunt the ball with two strikes on ya 24 00:01:04,825 --> 00:01:07,428 and it's not in play, you're out, ya dingus! 25 00:01:07,446 --> 00:01:11,032 - Yay! Double dingus! - Yay! Double dingus! 26 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,121 Hey, here's the updated Christmas tournament sched... 27 00:01:14,122 --> 00:01:16,437 - Shorts. - Oh, we're playing on Christmas day? 28 00:01:16,438 --> 00:01:19,205 - Terribly inconvenient, I know, but... - No! No, this is perfect! 29 00:01:19,231 --> 00:01:20,724 I love Christmas games! 30 00:01:20,725 --> 00:01:24,012 Then our little baseball family can have a great Christmas together. 31 00:01:24,046 --> 00:01:26,205 Who the heck plays baseball on Christmas? 32 00:01:26,206 --> 00:01:28,758 Uh, losers do... In Southern California. 33 00:01:28,759 --> 00:01:31,085 - They are not losers! - Yes, we are. 34 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,440 - We haven't scored a single run all year. - Face it, coach... We're a joke. 35 00:01:35,474 --> 00:01:39,433 You guys, I used to love playing on Christmas when I was a kid. 36 00:01:39,434 --> 00:01:42,787 Hey, you get up, you open presents, then you go to the field. 37 00:01:42,788 --> 00:01:45,973 The Cannon would coach, my mom would make hot chocolate... It's the best! 38 00:01:45,974 --> 00:01:48,509 Or you could just forfeit and give the rest of the league the day off. 39 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,894 Forfeit! 40 00:01:52,063 --> 00:01:54,953 - Forfeit! - Stop yelling "Forfeit"! 41 00:01:54,954 --> 00:01:57,034 Come on, you guys. We are not quitters. 42 00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:59,002 What have I been saying to you all year? 43 00:01:59,021 --> 00:02:01,805 Don't let you forget to pay your cellphone bill on the 21st? 44 00:02:01,823 --> 00:02:03,908 Yes! Thank you. 45 00:02:03,942 --> 00:02:05,643 Also, never give up, okay? 46 00:02:05,677 --> 00:02:09,747 Winning... it takes hard work, grit, determination. 47 00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:12,072 Now raise your hand if you're still a quitter. 48 00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,411 Danny, don't even think about raising your hand. 49 00:02:14,412 --> 00:02:17,538 Well, look at that. Majority rules, so it is a forfeit. 50 00:02:20,242 --> 00:02:22,626 - Come on, you guys! Come on! - Good job. Well done. 51 00:02:22,627 --> 00:02:25,649 We're the Angles! We stick together! 52 00:02:33,934 --> 00:02:36,934 Season 1, Episode 10 "I'll Slide Home for Christmas" 53 00:02:36,935 --> 00:02:39,935 Synced by Reef www.addic7ed.com 54 00:02:41,267 --> 00:02:43,869 Mom, I'm sorry the team voted to forfeit on you. 55 00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:47,604 Oh, that's okay, buddy. We are still going to have an amazing Christmas. 56 00:02:49,104 --> 00:02:51,639 This is my favorite holiday jam! 57 00:02:51,690 --> 00:02:53,441 ♪ Feliz navidad 58 00:02:53,475 --> 00:02:55,142 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba 59 00:02:55,193 --> 00:02:56,644 Okay, let's talk Christmas morning. 60 00:02:56,645 --> 00:02:59,814 So, I am thinking, uh, "It's a Wonderful Life" marathon, 61 00:02:59,865 --> 00:03:02,616 pajamas all day, eating cookie dough, huh? 62 00:03:02,651 --> 00:03:04,735 That's what I did with my mom and Cannon when I was a kid, 63 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,821 and that is exactly what we are gonna do, buddy. 64 00:03:06,872 --> 00:03:08,772 And, of course, opening presents. 65 00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:12,776 Now, if you could have one gift under $37, it would be...? 66 00:03:12,794 --> 00:03:14,294 You don't have to get me anything. 67 00:03:14,296 --> 00:03:16,797 I just want us to have the perfect family Christmas. 68 00:03:16,832 --> 00:03:19,154 You know, you're kind of obsessing over the holidays this year. 69 00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,474 Hey, I obsess about things that are important to us. 70 00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:24,421 - Merry Christmas! - Lifelike Santa! 71 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,923 - Ho ho ho! - It's the last one! 72 00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:28,342 Merry Christmas! 73 00:03:28,393 --> 00:03:31,428 What? This is important to us. 74 00:03:40,004 --> 00:03:42,189 Merry Christmas! 75 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:45,976 Merry Christmas! 76 00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,864 Happy Holidays! 77 00:03:49,915 --> 00:03:52,316 Ho ho ho! Merry... 78 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,487 - Merry Christma... - Dad! Stop! 79 00:03:57,506 --> 00:03:59,643 - ♪ Merry christma... ♪ - I'm killing something! 80 00:04:00,992 --> 00:04:03,579 You killed lifelike Santa! 81 00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:05,665 W-what are you doing creeping around the house in the middle of the night? 82 00:04:05,666 --> 00:04:08,096 Dad, it's 8:15. I was out in the garage. 83 00:04:08,097 --> 00:04:11,400 I found some of mom's old Christmas decorations and I wanted to put 'em up. 84 00:04:11,423 --> 00:04:13,275 Put them back. It's not happening. 85 00:04:13,309 --> 00:04:16,111 My buddies and I, we, uh, we don't do decorations, okay? 86 00:04:16,162 --> 00:04:19,364 - Your boys? - Uh, Earl, Louie, Stinky Pete. 87 00:04:19,398 --> 00:04:23,301 Oh, wow. You still do that stupid poker game. 88 00:04:23,302 --> 00:04:24,759 Hey, and Stinky Pete? 89 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,138 The one who stole my bicycle and then used it for drug money? 90 00:04:27,172 --> 00:04:29,335 Hey, Christmas is about forgiveness, right? 91 00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:32,095 No. No. It is about spending time with your family. 92 00:04:32,096 --> 00:04:33,296 Really? 93 00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:36,337 Well, then how come I haven't seen you one Christmas since the time you moved out? 94 00:04:36,338 --> 00:04:38,316 Dad, we invited you to spend Christmas with us every year. 95 00:04:38,334 --> 00:04:39,618 Yeah, right... That was with you, Donny, 96 00:04:39,652 --> 00:04:41,703 and that geek of a husband that you had there. 97 00:04:41,704 --> 00:04:44,937 - That's an automatic "never." - What happened to you? 98 00:04:44,938 --> 00:04:48,310 You know, when mom was alive, you woke me up at 6:00 A.M. to open presents. 99 00:04:48,344 --> 00:04:50,428 Yeah, well... That was a long time ago. 100 00:04:50,462 --> 00:04:53,515 Yeah, well, I want Danny to have a perfect Christmas, 101 00:04:53,566 --> 00:04:57,819 so just cancel your little poker night and enjoy it with your family. 102 00:04:57,853 --> 00:05:00,062 I'm the only family that they have. 103 00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:02,324 And they will miss this terribly. They love it. 104 00:05:02,358 --> 00:05:04,442 Well, I don't want to spend it with a bunch of strangers. 105 00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:08,330 They are not strangers. They're my friends, and are playing poker. 106 00:05:08,364 --> 00:05:11,286 No, we are having Christmas. 107 00:05:28,382 --> 00:05:31,284 - Really, dad? - Yeah, really. 108 00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:34,784 This whole perfect-Christmas thing is really coming together. 109 00:05:34,805 --> 00:05:37,030 Danny! Why don't you come help me decorate the tree? 110 00:05:37,031 --> 00:05:39,682 Or you can come over here and stick your entire face 111 00:05:39,717 --> 00:05:41,507 right under this cheese nozzle. 112 00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,287 Come in! 113 00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:51,498 It's beginning to look a lot like not-Christmas. 114 00:05:51,549 --> 00:05:55,606 Oh, Terry, this is, uh, Noel, and... and this is Noel. 115 00:05:55,607 --> 00:05:57,288 - Hi. - That's... That's the first Noel. 116 00:05:57,289 --> 00:05:58,572 See, they're sisters. 117 00:05:58,579 --> 00:06:00,046 Where should we set up our North Pole? 118 00:06:00,064 --> 00:06:03,283 - Really, dad? Strippers? - They are not strippers. 119 00:06:03,317 --> 00:06:04,980 They dance just a little bit. 120 00:06:04,981 --> 00:06:07,737 Mm. Yeah. Well, get them out of here, okay? This is insane. 121 00:06:07,738 --> 00:06:08,855 They're going nowhere. 122 00:06:08,856 --> 00:06:10,287 Where should we set up our ping-pong balls? 123 00:06:10,295 --> 00:06:12,392 - Oh, wow. - I can do this all day long. 124 00:06:12,426 --> 00:06:16,363 You know what, Danny? How about we get out of here for some holiday spirit, okay? 125 00:06:16,397 --> 00:06:19,231 And your grandfather here can just go "scrooge" himself. 126 00:06:22,787 --> 00:06:24,225 Hey, ladies. 127 00:06:26,474 --> 00:06:28,008 No, mom. Wait. No, I wasn't... 128 00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:31,955 Ho ho ho ho! Ho ho ho ho ho! 129 00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:35,366 Mom, I really don't need a picture with Santa, okay? 130 00:06:35,383 --> 00:06:38,468 I mean, look around. I'm a dinosaur compared to these kids. 131 00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:40,070 Oh, just humor me, buddy. 132 00:06:40,514 --> 00:06:44,282 Santa's got to feed the reindeer, so we'll be back in a while, folks. 133 00:06:44,792 --> 00:06:46,776 What? What reindeer? 134 00:06:46,811 --> 00:06:49,496 Nuh-uh! Elf! Elf, get back... Elf! 135 00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:50,730 Move. 136 00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:54,301 Hi. Excuse me, uh, Mr. Claus. 137 00:06:54,335 --> 00:06:57,037 Could we trouble you for just one more picture, please? 138 00:06:57,071 --> 00:06:58,771 In a little bit, hon. 139 00:06:58,789 --> 00:07:01,174 I'm going on my break. I should get something to eat. 140 00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:03,276 So should the reindeer. 141 00:07:03,311 --> 00:07:06,012 What reindeer?! There are no reindeer. 142 00:07:06,030 --> 00:07:08,748 Please? I mean, we've been waiting here for over an hour, 143 00:07:08,783 --> 00:07:12,802 and it would... just mean the world to the... That little boy right there. 144 00:07:12,853 --> 00:07:14,604 All right. 145 00:07:14,605 --> 00:07:15,891 - Really? - Yes. 146 00:07:15,892 --> 00:07:17,536 Okay. Okay! Danny, yeah! Come on! 147 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,827 Ho ho ho. 148 00:07:20,845 --> 00:07:23,129 Yeah. Okay, get on up there. 149 00:07:24,699 --> 00:07:28,334 So, what would you li... Like f... 150 00:07:29,553 --> 00:07:31,805 Santa's going down. 151 00:07:35,426 --> 00:07:37,410 Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What is wrong with him? 152 00:07:37,428 --> 00:07:40,196 He said he needed something to eat. He's a diabetic! 153 00:07:40,231 --> 00:07:42,782 Way to go, mom. You killed Santa. 154 00:07:46,137 --> 00:07:48,621 - Didn't you park there? - Oh, no. 155 00:07:48,656 --> 00:07:50,457 Oh, no, no, no! No, no! 156 00:07:50,491 --> 00:07:53,043 No! No, no, no, no! That's my car! 157 00:07:53,094 --> 00:07:55,879 There are presents! In the trunk! 158 00:07:57,448 --> 00:07:58,648 Come in! 159 00:08:00,197 --> 00:08:01,573 Hello? 160 00:08:03,187 --> 00:08:06,039 If it ain't the three wise men... Except you're all dumbasses. 161 00:08:06,073 --> 00:08:10,977 That joke never gets old... Unlike you, you wrinkly old bastard! Get over here! 162 00:08:12,296 --> 00:08:15,131 - Where are the... - Hey, boys! 163 00:08:15,132 --> 00:08:17,431 Should we get this party started or what? 164 00:08:17,851 --> 00:08:20,453 In all seriousness, thank you. 165 00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:23,356 You know how much we look forward to this every year. 166 00:08:26,193 --> 00:08:27,794 Why won't my phone work? 167 00:08:27,828 --> 00:08:30,864 Because you forgot to pay the bill on the 21st. 168 00:08:30,898 --> 00:08:32,615 Right. 169 00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:35,635 Right. So, the tow yard isn't open till the 26th. 170 00:08:35,669 --> 00:08:37,153 Christmas is just delayed. 171 00:08:37,188 --> 00:08:40,407 Mom, you really have to lose this idea of a perfect Christmas. 172 00:08:40,408 --> 00:08:44,361 - Okay? It's obviously not gonna happen. - Hey! It is going to happen! 173 00:08:44,362 --> 00:08:47,047 You are gonna have a real Christmas, even if it kills me. 174 00:08:47,081 --> 00:08:50,016 - Christmas can suck it. - Sir, mind your own business. 175 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,468 I'm a girl. 176 00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:55,772 Cool. 177 00:08:59,909 --> 00:09:01,243 Louie, ante up. 178 00:09:01,851 --> 00:09:03,496 Ante up, or I'm gonna tell the girls 179 00:09:03,531 --> 00:09:06,883 that the stuff on your head is a preview to what's on your back. 180 00:09:06,917 --> 00:09:08,268 I'm out of this one. 181 00:09:08,302 --> 00:09:11,871 I'm not gonna shave. I got nobody to impress no more. 182 00:09:11,889 --> 00:09:13,339 And what about you, Cannon? 183 00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:15,825 You daughter still up in Michigan with that deadbeat? 184 00:09:15,876 --> 00:09:19,110 - Um... no, she's got her own life now. - Yeah, I know what you mean. 185 00:09:19,244 --> 00:09:22,152 My son's down in Florida. We haven't talked in years. 186 00:09:22,153 --> 00:09:26,245 I'll tell you, though, they shouldn't allow him to carry a gun. 187 00:09:26,246 --> 00:09:27,897 Yeah, this is fun. 188 00:09:32,566 --> 00:09:35,528 Seriously... I got nothin'. 189 00:09:35,711 --> 00:09:37,878 At least we got each other. 190 00:09:38,347 --> 00:09:39,651 Yeah. 191 00:09:47,072 --> 00:09:49,173 Oh! Terry! Terry, darling! 192 00:09:49,192 --> 00:09:51,377 There you are. What took you so long? 193 00:09:51,412 --> 00:09:53,296 Well, you see, there were strippers at our house, 194 00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:56,366 mom might have killed Santa, they towed our car, and... 195 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,118 And a partridge in a pear tree. Fabulous, darling. 196 00:09:58,152 --> 00:10:01,587 Why don't you go and join Michael over by the gingerbread station with the others? 197 00:10:01,605 --> 00:10:03,440 - All right. - Just 'round there. 198 00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:05,825 - Oh, Lulu. - Hmm? 199 00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:08,862 Your house is so... Festive and... 200 00:10:08,896 --> 00:10:12,282 - Perfect. - Well, of course it is, darling. It's moi. 201 00:10:12,316 --> 00:10:14,534 I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't taken us in. 202 00:10:14,552 --> 00:10:16,085 Oh, good God, Terry. Are you all right? 203 00:10:16,086 --> 00:10:17,703 Well, this Christmas has been a disaster so far. 204 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,856 But here... here is where it's gonna turn all around. 205 00:10:19,857 --> 00:10:21,741 I really want it to. It has to. 206 00:10:21,775 --> 00:10:23,843 It better, because, Lulu, I am hanging on by a thread, 207 00:10:23,878 --> 00:10:25,378 and I cannot afford a therapist. 208 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:31,138 Christmas is tomorrow, and I still have no idea what to get my mom. 209 00:10:31,151 --> 00:10:33,219 I'm totally screwed. 210 00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:36,689 - I have three kidneys. - Okay. Thank you for that. 211 00:10:38,342 --> 00:10:41,209 I just want to give her the perfect Christmas gift. 212 00:10:44,348 --> 00:10:46,799 What? The heads are the best part. 213 00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:55,334 ♪ Christ the Savior is 214 00:10:55,643 --> 00:10:59,144 ♪ Bo-o-o-o-o-o-o... 215 00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,546 Great. Great. 216 00:11:00,564 --> 00:11:02,265 ♪ ...o-o-rn-uh! 217 00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:05,089 - Wonderful. Wonderful. - Thank you all very much. 218 00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:06,436 - Thank you. - Thank you very much. 219 00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:08,152 Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Dick! 220 00:11:08,155 --> 00:11:12,692 Who knew the man with the heart of a devil could sing like a.... 221 00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:14,191 - Angel? - Thank you. 222 00:11:14,192 --> 00:11:17,137 Dick. Who's next? Very exciting, hmm? 223 00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:19,205 Oh, it's Terry! 224 00:11:19,206 --> 00:11:21,457 Come up here, Terry. Great. 225 00:11:21,475 --> 00:11:23,822 Let's hear it for Terry, ladies and gentlemen. 226 00:11:23,823 --> 00:11:25,244 - You go for it, darling. - Thank you. 227 00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,492 - Come on. Off you go. - Yep. 228 00:11:28,715 --> 00:11:30,650 Uh, ok... Oh. Uh... 229 00:11:30,684 --> 00:11:32,457 Yeah, um, this isn't the right song. 230 00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,404 I requested "Feliz Navidad." 231 00:11:35,439 --> 00:11:38,507 - We don't have it. - What do you mean you don't... 232 00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:40,976 That's, like, the best blind Christmas song of all time. 233 00:11:40,994 --> 00:11:42,644 My mom and I would crank it up on the radio 234 00:11:42,663 --> 00:11:44,279 and sing it at the top of our lungs. 235 00:11:44,297 --> 00:11:47,433 I don't know what to tell you. Go find your mom. Sing it with her. 236 00:11:47,467 --> 00:11:49,394 My mom is dead. 237 00:11:49,986 --> 00:11:51,520 Oh, here we go. 238 00:11:54,558 --> 00:11:56,042 Well, this is just perfect. 239 00:11:56,093 --> 00:11:59,095 I have no feliz left... 240 00:11:59,129 --> 00:12:01,430 And zero Navidad. 241 00:12:01,448 --> 00:12:05,266 Oh, boy. This has been building ever since she almost killed Santa. 242 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:09,038 I am obsessed with a holiday that hates me. 243 00:12:09,072 --> 00:12:11,205 We are sworn enemies. We're like Kirk and Khan. 244 00:12:11,206 --> 00:12:14,303 - Nerd! - Hey! Hey! My dad... 245 00:12:14,745 --> 00:12:17,113 Who would rather spend Christmas with strippers 246 00:12:17,147 --> 00:12:20,166 than his own daughter, made me watch "Star Trek," okay? 247 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:24,754 I am obsessed with having the perfect family Christmas. 248 00:12:24,788 --> 00:12:28,991 I am obsessed with rebuilding a relationship with my stupid father. 249 00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:32,211 I am obsessed with coaching a baseball team 250 00:12:32,262 --> 00:12:34,330 that doesn't want to play baseball. 251 00:12:34,343 --> 00:12:36,761 You know those... those kids? Do you see all those kids? 252 00:12:36,796 --> 00:12:40,594 Yeah, they all have the right attitude... quitting! 253 00:12:40,681 --> 00:12:43,399 So simple. So easy. 254 00:12:43,434 --> 00:12:45,602 So what I should have been doing. 255 00:12:46,028 --> 00:12:47,778 So, you know what, team? 256 00:12:47,779 --> 00:12:51,074 I am on board with the "I can't do" attitude. 257 00:12:51,108 --> 00:12:54,277 Okay? Yeah. There. So let's all quit. 258 00:12:54,328 --> 00:12:57,563 How's that? Let's all quit. 259 00:12:57,581 --> 00:13:01,012 Let's forfeit Christmas. 260 00:13:01,234 --> 00:13:03,069 Peace. 261 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,918 I-I finally know what to get my mom for Christmas. 262 00:13:14,316 --> 00:13:15,978 Flawless bed head. 263 00:13:16,013 --> 00:13:18,459 Mom. Wake up. 264 00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:24,067 What's going on? 265 00:13:24,085 --> 00:13:26,458 We're not quitters. Okay? And neither are you. 266 00:13:26,459 --> 00:13:29,807 We're gonna play today, and we're gonna win for you. 267 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,685 Merry Christmas. 268 00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:38,453 You are the best, buddy. 269 00:13:38,487 --> 00:13:39,983 I love you. 270 00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:42,061 I love you, too. 271 00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:44,265 But... Please brush your teeth. 272 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,173 Sorry. 273 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,762 Okay! We are gonna crush them today! I can feel it! 274 00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,647 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 275 00:13:56,588 --> 00:13:58,706 Phone, text Mr. The Cannon. 276 00:14:01,831 --> 00:14:03,432 Raise. 277 00:14:03,466 --> 00:14:07,102 Looks like somebody's hooking up with a broad of baby-making age. 278 00:14:07,136 --> 00:14:09,872 Spill it, Cannon. Who you bunking with? 279 00:14:10,462 --> 00:14:14,076 My daughter and her son. They... They moved in here. 280 00:14:14,077 --> 00:14:16,428 So... let's just play cards, all right? 281 00:14:16,462 --> 00:14:19,114 Why didn't you tell us? Why aren't they here? 282 00:14:19,115 --> 00:14:21,300 Look, for years, they wanted nothing to do with me. 283 00:14:21,351 --> 00:14:24,176 I mean, now they just waltz in here and make demands. 284 00:14:24,177 --> 00:14:26,934 This is our tradition right here. We play cards, 285 00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:29,703 we drink a little beer, we have fun with the Noels. 286 00:14:29,721 --> 00:14:30,755 That's what we do. 287 00:14:30,806 --> 00:14:33,458 Because we got nothing else, you jackass! 288 00:14:33,492 --> 00:14:35,993 The reason our Christmas tradition was born 289 00:14:36,044 --> 00:14:40,848 was because everyone we were related to was either dead or didn't want us around. 290 00:14:40,882 --> 00:14:44,473 The only reason we're all here is because we ain't got nobody. 291 00:14:44,474 --> 00:14:47,547 You got somebody... Two somebodies. 292 00:14:56,940 --> 00:15:01,483 You know, you're the, uh, smartest dumbasses I know. 293 00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:02,987 Anyway, I fold. 294 00:15:02,988 --> 00:15:05,840 - Where you going? - We got a game. 295 00:15:12,347 --> 00:15:13,581 Mom. 296 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,652 I'm sorry this is such a crappy Christmas present. 297 00:15:17,686 --> 00:15:21,072 Are you kidding? This is the best gift ever. 298 00:15:21,123 --> 00:15:23,090 It's Christmas with my gang. 299 00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:24,942 It doesn't matter if we win. 300 00:15:24,943 --> 00:15:27,762 The most important thing is you didn't quit. 301 00:15:28,013 --> 00:15:30,148 I am so proud of you, buddy. 302 00:15:33,919 --> 00:15:36,587 All right, guys. Guys! 303 00:15:36,622 --> 00:15:38,789 Look, we're down by 21. 304 00:15:38,841 --> 00:15:41,175 We suck at this sport, all right? 305 00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:44,812 We're probably not gonna win this game or any game ever. 306 00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:48,583 But you know what we can do? We can score a run, all right? 307 00:15:48,617 --> 00:15:52,770 Let's not go down in history as the worst team in this league, okay? 308 00:15:52,804 --> 00:15:55,706 Let's score one run this Christmas for us... 309 00:15:55,741 --> 00:15:58,926 - For my mom, all right? - Now, let's do this! 310 00:15:58,961 --> 00:16:00,962 - Come on! - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 311 00:16:00,996 --> 00:16:02,531 All right, hands in. 312 00:16:03,241 --> 00:16:05,202 "Angles" on... 313 00:16:08,453 --> 00:16:09,954 Yeah! 314 00:16:10,005 --> 00:16:12,590 - "Angles" on me! - "Angles" on three! 315 00:16:12,624 --> 00:16:16,010 One, two, three, Angles! 316 00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:23,425 You know, your mom... 317 00:16:23,426 --> 00:16:26,199 I mean, she loved this holiday, uh, more than any other one. 318 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,555 I mean, she'd start planning Christmas in July, 319 00:16:28,574 --> 00:16:30,341 and it drove me up a freaking wall. 320 00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:32,343 Yeah, she was always wound a little tight. 321 00:16:32,377 --> 00:16:36,514 - Yeah. Well... You got that from her. - Yeah. 322 00:16:36,565 --> 00:16:38,899 Yeah, that's where I got it from. 323 00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:41,535 See, uh... The holidays... 324 00:16:41,569 --> 00:16:44,255 They really got kind of hard for me after she passed, 325 00:16:44,306 --> 00:16:47,575 and even more... When you left. 326 00:16:47,609 --> 00:16:49,743 And, uh, these guys... They, uh... 327 00:16:49,761 --> 00:16:51,529 They helped me out, you know? 328 00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:55,833 So, all this time, I thought I was keeping them alive, 329 00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:57,492 but in fact... 330 00:16:58,437 --> 00:17:01,015 They were keeping me alive until you showed up. 331 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:05,607 And so, uh... I guess, if you take it, 332 00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:08,346 uh, that'd have to be your job now. 333 00:17:09,865 --> 00:17:11,398 Yeah, I'll take it. 334 00:17:14,746 --> 00:17:17,042 Okay, let go. Make sure no one sees us. 335 00:17:17,789 --> 00:17:19,523 Strike two! 336 00:17:26,048 --> 00:17:30,274 Ya never bunt with two strikes, ya dingus. 337 00:17:30,275 --> 00:17:32,527 Oh, yeah? Watch this. 338 00:17:37,225 --> 00:17:39,860 N-o-o-o-o-o! 339 00:17:44,132 --> 00:17:46,000 Ru-u-u-n! 340 00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:49,970 Go-o-o-o! 341 00:18:24,539 --> 00:18:25,791 Safe! 342 00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:30,428 Whoo! Oh, my gosh! 343 00:18:31,763 --> 00:18:33,421 Hey, hey, hey! 344 00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:37,112 - Coach! We're in the middle of an inning! - Shut up... 345 00:18:37,494 --> 00:18:39,495 All right! That's ballgame! 346 00:18:39,513 --> 00:18:41,509 Yeah! 347 00:18:42,627 --> 00:18:44,548 - Terry, Terry. - Let it fly, Dick. 348 00:18:44,549 --> 00:18:46,752 Nothing you can say could possibly ruin this moment for me. 349 00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:49,421 No, look, I just wanted to tell you I think it's great, 350 00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:51,241 you're teaching these kids to never quit. 351 00:18:52,807 --> 00:18:53,807 Thanks. 352 00:18:53,818 --> 00:18:58,212 You're welcome. And, um, also, I-I picked up your car at the impound. 353 00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:00,697 I own the lot, too, so... 354 00:19:00,732 --> 00:19:03,450 The presents are still inside. 355 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:06,842 So... 356 00:19:07,281 --> 00:19:09,014 Merry Christmas, Terry. 357 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:12,743 Hey, good-looking. 358 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,495 - Hey. - What? 359 00:19:14,496 --> 00:19:18,468 This is the most imperfectly perfect Christmas ever. 360 00:19:26,038 --> 00:19:27,438 Well... 361 00:19:27,456 --> 00:19:31,514 It looks like it's, uh, just me and you, short stuff. 362 00:19:32,647 --> 00:19:34,193 I think you're bluffing. 363 00:19:35,743 --> 00:19:39,079 Bluff this, pops. I'm all-in. 364 00:19:40,315 --> 00:19:44,835 And, uh, looks like you don't have the canes or the chestnuts to cover it. 365 00:19:44,869 --> 00:19:46,553 Well, then... 366 00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:50,522 And, uh, how about the dishes for a month? 367 00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:54,216 How about two months? 368 00:19:58,954 --> 00:20:00,154 Deal. 369 00:20:04,941 --> 00:20:07,398 Ace and ace, full boat. 370 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:09,048 Send it! 371 00:20:10,229 --> 00:20:13,713 And to all... Good night. 372 00:20:13,877 --> 00:20:16,877 Synced by Reef www.addic7ed.com 373 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,126 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 374 00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:24,726 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29404

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