All language subtitles for Back In The Game s01e07 Safety.eng

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See this?
Do you see it?!

Move! Man down!

3 MINUTES EARLIER

All right, guys, Angles,
let's shag some flies.

Terry Jr.: Yeah,
I don't know about this.

We had three injuries
just running out of the dugout.

What are they gonna do
during a game?

They're gonna do
what they always do...

Yell "you got it"
and get out of the way.

Come on, give me.

ALL: I got it! I got it! I got it!
I got it!

- You got it!
- You got it!

You know, dick,
as safety officer,

it really makes me happy to see
your league embracing safety.

Yep. Just like I'd like
to embrace my wife...

If she ever comes back.

Anyway, high marks
all across the board.

Thank you, and I'm sorry
about Emma, Sheldon,

and, uh, I'd love
to take credit

for how safe it is out here,
but, you know.

Ah, who are we kidding?
This is all me.

[ Both laugh ]

- Well, practices have really been
a pleasure to watch. - Yep.

Boy, it's miles ahead of how it was
before you took over in '09.

Yeah, I can't believe
that Goldberg kid lost his hand.

Man. You'd think chain link would
be a little more forgiving.

All right, Dong. Remember
what we practiced now.

Shade your eyes
with the glove,

watch it, catch it.

Okay, Cannon. Got it.

Uh.

[ Moaning ]

Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com

Season 1, Episode 7
"Safety Squeeze"

Come on. Come on, buddy.
Wake up. You all right?

He's dead.
I've seen this before.

- We need a fixer.
- No, see? See? He's not dead.

That head's 10% brain
and 90%... Something else.

Here, come here.
Put this on your head.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hang on.

Are you offering an alcoholic
beverage to a minor, Cannon,

in front of
our regional safety officer?

Am I wearing
clown shoes?

The pi?ata on this can
turned red.

That means it's ice-cold.
You get that?

That is
completely unacceptable.

- Where's your medical bag?
- Yeah.

Move! Man down!

Hey, hey. You're gonna be okay,
buddy. Here.

It's not half as bad as yesterday.
Or the day before.

Or the time you ate
the rosin bag.

Angles, take a lap while
we figure this thing out.

You, sir, are completely out of touch
with the safety of these kids.

Yep. He's a human pipe bomb.
I've been saying it for weeks.

And who exactly
are you?

This is Sheldon Bickell.
He's the regional safety officer.

I knew, uh,
an Emma Bickell.

She was
a very unhappy woman.

It's a common name.

What I just saw was a blatant violation
of the league's safety rules.

- I'm gonna have to report this.
- Yes! Yes!

And not to do your job,
Sheldon,

but I personally would recommend
the four-hour safety seminar.

- Who asked you?
- And you know what else?

She's the coach,
so she should have to go, too.

- I went.
- Oh, you did, short shorts?

Then why are your kids still getting
hit in the face with balls?

- I will kill you.
- No, I'll do that.

Dick, as the president of
the league, you have to go, too.

- You're responsible for this guy.
- Oh, come on, Sheldon!

Dang it!

What makes you think that, uh,
I'll show up at this thing anyway?

Do it. Don't do it.
The choice is yours.

But if you're at the game,
the Angles are gonna have to forfeit.

- You'd be doing them a favor.
- I will make sure he's there.

Do that.
I'll be there, too.

I have no place else
to go.

Now, what makes you think
you can make me do anything?

You have to go. You're keeping
the kids from playing.

Just pretend you're at home
not listening to me.

What?

- Hey.
- Oh!

If you're waiting for Michael, I'm pretty
sure he rode his bike home with Danny.

Oh, no. No, darling.

I am here
for the kid hand-off.

Yes, it's the best
and easiest way

to spot
the newly divorced dads.

[ Laughs ] Wow.

- You are an animal.
- Oh, no, darling.

I'm a very sympathetic
lioness,

on the prowl for
an emotionally wounded gazelle.

[ Chuckles ] Ooh, yeah, see,
I like him.

He knows how to spoil.

Lulu, are there any
that you don't like?

Yes, darling.
I will not do a parent

who drives a car that starts
with the letter "H."

- Oh, well, it's good to have standards.
- Mm-hmm.

I will never date
a man with a perm...

Way too selfish.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Sighs ]

Hey. You okay?

I'm fine, coach.

Just waiting on my dad.

- You want to use my cellphone?
- It's okay.

I can do my homework
until he gets here.

He almost never forgets
to pick me up.

So, do your parents
forget you sometimes?

It's happened before.
They're really busy.

Don't worry.
I only live a few miles away.

If it gets too dark,
I can just walk.

Oh, no. No, no.

I know something about
being alone.

I'll stay here
and wait with you.

So, do you like
video games?

Are you hitting on me,
coach?

All right.

What's for dinner?

Hold it. What'd you bring
the Fat Kid home for?

I only made food
for 40.

- His name is Dudley, Cannon.
- Thank you, Danny.

His dad didn't show, and I wasn't
just gonna leave him at the field.

- I'm gonna try him again, okay?
- Hey, Mother Teresa.

Why don't you try
and just take him home?

Because I know
how scary it can be

to be left alone
in an empty house at night.

Well, I'd like to be left alone
in an empty house at night.

Want to hear
a knock-knock joke?

Well, what do you think?

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

- Knock, knock.
- You know, Cannon,

it's gonna be a lot easier on all of us
if you just say "Who's there?"

Knock, knock.

Yes, Mr. Douglas.
He's fine. I...

No, I will not tell your son
that your ex-wife is that word,

nor will I tell your ex-wife
that she is that word.

You know what? This is...
This conversation's over. Goodbye.

Hey, Terry.
This guy has to go.

He just told me
15 knock-knock jokes in a minute

while inhaling
a half a box of crackers,

which is incredible
and disgusting.

Well, Dudley
is staying for dinner.

That ought to be
a great show.

Dudley, your parents
got the schedules mixed up.

Your dad's getting in touch
with your mom,

but until then,
this is your house, okay?

Yes! Uh, can I take two
ice-cream sandwiches

and stack them
on top of each other

and make a double-stuffed
ice-cream sandwich?

If that will make you
feel better, sure.

Yay! No rules!

Take that, calorie log.

[ Chuckles ]
Hmm. Okay.

If fatty wants to stay,
it's fine.

If I find teeth marks
in my easy chair... done.

Your mom had an emergency at work,
so you're gonna stay with us, okay?

You comfortable, buddy?
[ Farts ]

- Now I am.
- Okay. All right.

You guys have my permission
to stay up as long as you like, okay?

Thanks, mom-Terry
and brother-Danny.

Let's just stick to our regular names.
Good night.

Danny,
are you still awake?

It doesn't seem like
I have much of a choice.

How long have your parents
been divorced?

About a year now.

Doesn't it suck
how much they still fight?

Well... I don't know. I mean,
it wasn't really like that for me.

My mom seems
way happier now,

and I like
the way things are.

You lucked out.

My dad used to tuck me
in at night

and give me something
to snuggle with.

I miss that.

If I give you Mr. Cuddles,
will you stop talking?

Yes.

[ Farts ]

[ Sighs ]

You know what?

Keep the bear.

Danny: Ugh!

Dudley kept me up
all night.

I mean, he could have at least
aimed himself towards the wall.

I know.
He kept me up, too.

He was rooting through
that cupboard.

Sounded like a goat
playing the drum set.

Dudley is going through
a very difficult time, dad.

Neither one of his parents
are there for him.

- Imagine how he feels.
- Well, I can't.

- He ate my imagination.
- Be nice.

- Good morning, Dudley.
- Good morning.

I made you some eggs...

And bacon.

- Hey, you just jacked my bacon.
- No manners, no bacon.

You just make sure you go
to that safety class today.

[ Doorbell rings ] Oh, that's probably
your mom. Hurry and finish up, bud.

Knock, knock.

I know who's there...

My bacon.

Terry, I am so sorry
for the mix up.

Oh, it's no problem.

I just don't know how safe it is
leaving him out at the field like that.

His father told me the nanny
was gonna pick Dudley up,

but chances are,
she's in Phoenix with him.

- Hey, mom.
- There's my big cat.

Now, say thanks
and get in the car.

- Thanks, coach.
- Of course. Anytime, buddy.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Bye.

All right, welcome, coaches.

Over the next four hours,

we are going to cover
all of the safety procedures

mandated by West Lake township.

Now, as you can see,

thanks to last night's
anger-management meeting,

they've cleared out
all of our chairs.

[ Laughs ]

I have an idea... why don't we
just circle it on up

and have a seat on the floor?

Come on, guys.

Uh, Mr. Gannon, why don't you
join us here on the floor?

See, I-I-I lived
through the '60s,

and I have no interest
whatsoever in eating curry

or passing around
the peace pipe

or playing
"duck, duck, goose."

I don't do floors,
Sheldon.

Fine.

Let's begin.

What is safety?

Safety always
feels excellent together...

Yay!

M...

O...

R...

O-N...

Moron. Yay.

That man does not speak
for my league, to be clear.

Flag on the play.
That's not safe speech.

[ Grunts ]

Hey, Dudley.
What a surprise.

Hey, coach mom-Terry.

Uh, hey, mom, you know,
can I talk to you real quick?

Dudley just kind of
followed me home.

I didn't know what to do.

He just seems
really lonely, you know?

Okay.

You know what?
Let me talk to him alone.

- All right.
- Thanks.

Hey.

[ Clears throat ]

How's it going?

- I've been better.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I know how you feel.

After my mom died, my dad was
hardly ever there for me.

I'm a grown-up,
and it still hurts.

But you need to know,
buddy,

your parents' divorce
is not your fault.

I just wish things could
go back to the way they were.

They don't even go
to my games anymore.

But I don't blame them.

I mean, who wants to see a fat kid
strike out five times in a row?

[ Grunting ]

Let's remember
our CPR technique, gentlemen.

It's 30 compressions
and 2 breaths.

Pucker up, sweetheart.
I just ate a meatball sandwich.

Oh, come on!

- I-I want a different partner!
- And I'd like my wife back.

Unresponsive!

[ Grunts ] Ohh!

He's back. He's back.

- Good teamwork, guys.
- Thank you.

Oh, uh... uh, Sheldon,

I-I really want
a different partner this time.

Can... can I work with
Dennis this time just...

Hold it. Just a second. What do
you think... I'm a crazy person?

Do you really believe for one second
that I'd hit you with this bat?

Exactly.
The Cannon is right.

Look, if you see anyone
holding a baseball bat,

you make sure that no one
is within 5 feet

of that person's
safety bubble.

Today we're using
wiffle-ball bats,

but there is no comparison
to the pain of walking home

and seeing that your wife
has left you for your sister.

Right,
but he's within 5 feet of my...

Aah!

He was in my bubble.
Did you see that?

He was in my bubble.
[ Groaning ]

Trust me, Dick.

[ Bees buzzing ] Aah!

All right,
this exercise will demonstrate

what it feels like to completely
trust one of your coaches.

Remember, if your kids don't
trust you, they don't feel safe.

Boy, Dennis,
I'm glad you're my partner.

I feel safe.

So, where are you from,
man?

It's a little weird
you're not answering me.

And if you're ready,
you can go.

Slow down, Dennis.
Talk to me, man.

[ Sniffs ] I smell cologne.
No. Aah!

Want to go again, Dickie?
You know something?

This isn't just about you
having fun terrorizing me.

Instead of
banging me around,

you could have used this
opportunity to learn something.

I did. I-I learned it's funny
when your face hits a door.

You know what?

I cannot imagine
growing up with you as my dad.

It's no wonder Terry's
a frickin' disaster.

- Listen, you piece of crap.
- Yeah. Come on. Let's go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, guys.
Guys, what's going on here?

I was over here, you know, just
trying to get into my safety bubble.

Ugh, wow.

And then this guy comes
and gets in my face.

That old bastard
is lying to you right now!

- He's lying!
- See, that is hurt speech.

- Yeah...
- And I feel very unsafe.

- Dick, haven't you learned anything here?
- No! Guess not.

No! No, he hasn't.

And I fortunately have.

I mean, just coming
to this safety seminar,

I've learned quite a bit
about myself.

I've learned, you know, to respect
and enjoy my time with the kids.

[ Chuckles ]
And, uh, also, I...

I learned I have to get
deep inside myself,

you know,
to find a better man,

so these kids won't be
f-frightened or scared.

Wow.

So, what I'm saying is,
thanks a lot, Sheldon,

and, uh...

[Sighs] I guess I'll see you
on the field for my evaluation.

Thanks again.

Look at that.
Someone was listening.

- You hear that, Dick?
- Oh, I heard it.

- It works.
- Mm-hmm.

- Cannon, way to go.
- Way to go, Cannon.

I'm granting you permission
to enter my bubble.

Yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

I miss her so much,
Cannon.

[ No audio ]

Oh, Mr. Douglas,
it would just be so great

if you changed your mind, took
the high road with your wife,

and just showed up
to Dudley's game.

I'm out of wings
and blue cheese.

- I really love blue cheese.
- Chelle... 20 more, extra blue.

Look at that.
They're on their way.

And there'll be more where that came
from if you show up to the game.

Look, it's not my custody day.
I got plans.

Anyway, do I really
want to be in the stands

and have my wife yell at me for trying
to be happy for once in my life?

What about your son?

- Dudley knows I love him.
- I don't think he does.

He needs you there.

You know what?
Don't tell me what my son needs.

Cancel the wings.
I lost my appetite.

Oy.

All right, Lulu.
Plan "B."

Don't worry, darling.
I'll get him there.

Excuse me.

Um, sweetheart, I couldn't help
but notice you drive a Jaguar.

Coach Terry!

Both of my parents
are here!

I'm gonna get a hit today!
I can just feel it!

I know you are, buddy.

The day that kid
gets a hit...

You say one negative thing
about Dudley, so help me,

I will make a cologne-flavored popsicle
out of you with that baseball bat.

If you'd just
let me finish.

I was gonna say the day
that kid gets a hit

would probably be today.

Um...

Bud?

Stepping into your bubble.

I just want to say
that you're, uh...

You're a fantastic person.

And, you know...
Good things.

So, you... y-you find me
after the game,

and I'm gonna put one of those rainbow
stickers right on your helmet.

Will you put kitty whiskers
on my face?

Yeah. Yeah.
You just find me.

Positive reinforcement,
Shel.

Kids need that.

Safety.

Stepping out.

All: One, two, three...
Cardinals!

Great.

Eye of the kitty, buddy.

Eye of the kitty.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

- Get your finger out of my face!
- Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.

- Don't you wave your finger at me!
- I'll put my finger wherever...

Unbelievable.

Let's go, buddy.

ALL: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Run!

Come on! Come on!

Come on, buddy!

You're out!

[ Spectators groan ]

- He's not out!
- Come on, coach.

That throw beat your kid's foot
there by a mile.

I don't care
where his foot was.

Yeah, but that's kind of
the whole point.

No, it's not the point,
okay?

These... these kids
need to feel safe.

Okay, they shouldn't have
to go through this alone.

You need to be there,
and you need to pay attention.

All right, all right.

I'm gonna need you to go back to
the dugout and take whatever it is

that your doctor
prescribed you.

Do you see this?

Do you see this?
Do you see it?!

His foot touched this bag.

That is supposed to mean
he is safe, okay?!

In fact, this should be
the safest place on earth!

It doesn't work
like that, lady.

"Lady"?!

That is exactly
how it works!

Because that is the job
we signed up for

as parents
and as coaches, okay?!

- Let's go.
- Ugh!

Hey, that was
a great hit today, Dud.

Great job.
Proud of you.

You didn't call me
"Fat Kid."

Well, don't worry. I will next time.
Good hit.

No! No!

[ Grunts ]

- Hey.
- Hey.

That little blowup you had today,
uh, made me really proud, Junior.

[ Chuckles ]

I guess babying the fat kid
wound you up a little, right?

Do you want to know
why I was babying Dudley?

No, not really.

Because I didn't want him
to feel abandoned

like I did
when I was a kid.

"Abandoned"?

Who did that?

What do you call
leaving a 10-year-old

in a Mexican hotel room with
a strange woman for a month?

Club Med?

Look... Juanita...

She was a terrific lady
and... and a great caretaker,

and I was sure
that you'd be safe with her.

Uh, by the way, what the heck
can I do about it now?

Why did you leave me
like that?

You know,
mom had just died.

You left me with
a complete stranger.

What did I do?

No.

You did...

I mean,
you did nothing.

You know, when mom...

When mom died, I, uh...

I did a lot more
than just drink a little bit.

Uh...

I was a mess.

So I figured, uh,
if I left you with, uh...

Somebody I trusted...
Really trusted...

That you'd be, you know, a lot
better off than being with me.

I really didn't want you
to see me like that, you know?

And, uh, so I just thought
I did, uh,

you know,
the best that I could.

You sure didn't
do anything, honey.

I'm sorry.

Dad.

[ Sighs ]

Where did you go
when you left?

Some Mexican
Betty Ford kind of thing.

- But you still drink.
- Well, it was in Mexican.

I mean, I-I didn't understand
anything they said.

[ Laughs ]

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

[ Crickets chirping ]
Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

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