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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,455 # You must remember this 2 00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,175 #A kiss is still a kiss 3 00:00:13,540 --> 00:00:16,338 #A sigh is just a sigh 4 00:00:18,940 --> 00:00:22,455 # The fundamental things apply 5 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:25,897 #As time goes by # 6 00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:32,892 - Postman Pat's been - In his little red van? 7 00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:36,655 - No, he's got a soppy trolley with big wheels - Not the same, is it? 8 00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:39,413 Nothing's the same I mean, look at all this lot 9 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,536 Did I ask for it? Did you ask for it? 10 00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:44,214 Did these people ask our permission to send us all this? 11 00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:48,737 - No, so we have to wade through it every morning - Well, that's hardly wading through it 12 00:00:48,820 --> 00:00:50,651 At least have a look There might be something interesting, 13 00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:52,537 something piquant 14 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,292 - Piquant? - Yes 15 00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:58,851 - I mean, for instance, would you like a stair lift? - No, I would not 16 00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:03,092 Oh! They come in a choice of three colours I see you in maroon 17 00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:07,177 Now, let's see Oh! So much for your wading through it, 18 00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:10,775 you threw away a postcard from America 19 00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:15,129 - Oh, how sweet It's from Lillian Stevens - Is it? 20 00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:18,530 - You don't know who that is, do you? - Yes, I do She's American 21 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:22,738 - And? - And it was very nice of her to send us a card 22 00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:26,017 Lillian Stevens, that nice lady we met in Los Angeles 23 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,419 Yeah, I know that 24 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,252 - Very tall - No 25 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,012 - Long black hair - No 26 00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:34,570 - She wore very tight leather trousers - No, she didn't! 27 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:36,571 - You sure? - I'm positive 28 00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:40,130 - Well, somebody did - Yes, well, obviously somebody did 29 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,893 Anyway, Lillian, the real Lillian, sends you her love 30 00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:44,015 Thank you 31 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,249 (DOORBELL RINGING) 32 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:47,609 (JEAN SIGHING) 33 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,930 Lillian also says that if you're thinking of a stair lift, 34 00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,294 get one in maroon 35 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,138 - Oh, hello - Hello 36 00:01:57,260 --> 00:01:59,376 Harry, where have you been hiding? 37 00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:02,054 It's a silly question to ask a policeman, isn't it? 38 00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:04,654 I've been pretty busy, actually, studying for my sergeant's exams 39 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:06,731 Oh Sandy's very well 40 00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:08,378 - Good - I just thought I'd tell you 41 00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:11,054 - Is Sandy in, being Saturday? - No, she's out with Judy 42 00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:12,812 Oh, right Well 43 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,539 Oh, no, come in anyway Lionel would like to see you 44 00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:16,973 Oh, why? 45 00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:20,575 Well, not specifically, just generally Come in and say hello 46 00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:26,652 - Well, how did the exams go? - Pretty well I passed 47 00:02:27,260 --> 00:02:30,252 I'm a sergeant now Well, detective sergeant, CID 48 00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:34,811 Really? Oh, well done Sandy will be proud 49 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,811 - Will she? - Of course she will 50 00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:39,733 Oh, she'll be ever so proud 51 00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:43,934 - Lionel, look, it's Harry - Harry? 52 00:02:44,420 --> 00:02:47,492 - Oh yes, Harry How are you? - Very well, sir Thank you 53 00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:50,617 - Not "sir", please - Oh, sorry 54 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:54,454 - Oh, are you thinking of getting a stair lift? - No, I am not 55 00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:57,976 - Harry's in plain clothes - So he is 56 00:02:58,060 --> 00:03:01,814 No, I mean officially He's a detective sergeant now 57 00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:03,128 - Is he? - Yes 58 00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:05,176 - He's come to see Sandy - She's out 59 00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,820 Well, we know she's out, but Harry wasn't to know that, was he? 60 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,811 Well, he is a detective 61 00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:13,698 - Sit down, Harry Would you like a coffee? - Oh, no, thanks 62 00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:15,736 I wouldn't mind another one 63 00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:18,579 Sandy's very well 64 00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:20,890 - Yes, you said - Oh, yes, so I did 65 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,739 She'll be back very soon 66 00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:26,938 - They're shopping They could be hours, days - No, they couldn't 67 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,491 I expect you want to tell her your news 68 00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:33,289 Yes, but not just the promotion There's some other news 69 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,652 - Bigger - Bigger? 70 00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:39,819 Yeah, sort of crossroads, really Do you, don't you? 71 00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:44,053 - I see - I think I will have another coffee 72 00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:48,737 - Well, I expect you'd like to talk it over - Yes, yes I need to do that 73 00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:52,097 - Yes, of course you do Of course you do - We're running low on sugar 74 00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:55,217 Well, we're here and we're very fond of you 75 00:03:55,300 --> 00:04:00,010 So if you'd like to talk it over, well, we're here 76 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:03,934 Well, that's very kind of you, but it's Sandy I really need to speak to 77 00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:07,975 - She should be the first to know - Well, of course Yes, of course 78 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,374 (SIGHING) 79 00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:13,059 (INAUDIBLE) 80 00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,735 - How's the rugby going, Harry? - Oh 81 00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:22,538 "How's the rugby going"? 82 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,768 Look, the boy's got something to tell Sandy, not us 83 00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:28,613 Oh, well, if you're going to take that attitude 84 00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:33,658 - You always take that attitude - I am by nature a noninterventionist 85 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,254 Well, I'm not intervening I just want to know what's going on 86 00:04:36,340 --> 00:04:40,970 Well, the only concrete fact we have is that Harry's moved to outside centre this season, 87 00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:43,096 and I don't think he'd want to tell Sandy that 88 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,694 - Hello, hello! - Oh, Sandy? 89 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:47,452 - Yes? - Harry called round 90 00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:51,695 - Harry? - Yes He says he's got something to tell you 91 00:04:51,780 --> 00:04:52,769 Oh 92 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:57,094 - You don't seem very excited - Well, I haven't seen him for ages 93 00:04:57,860 --> 00:04:59,930 - What did he want to tell me? - Well, he didn't say 94 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:01,612 Not that we asked 95 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:05,019 But he says it's important He says it's very important 96 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:07,250 Well, if it's that important, why on earth didn't he wait? 97 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,058 Well, because he had to go 98 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:12,337 - Ah, he's probably got a rugby match on - Well, it is Saturday 99 00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:14,650 Look, he did not mention rugby 100 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,770 I expect he's got to detect something 101 00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:21,058 - What? - Well, he's a detective sergeant now 102 00:05:21,140 --> 00:05:22,175 Hmm 103 00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:26,891 - And he still wants to see you very desperately - Did he actually say "desperately"? 104 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:30,177 Well, he didn't actually say it, but you could see it in his face, couldn't you, Lionel? 105 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,649 Could you, Lionel? 106 00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:35,493 I've never really been good with faces 107 00:05:36,180 --> 00:05:38,410 - But he does want to see you - Desperately 108 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,737 I thought you said Bolivia 109 00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:42,695 Oh, you did? 110 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:47,579 - Alistair, what are you doing in Bolivia? - I'm re... 111 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,770 - Re-what? - Regrouping. 112 00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:51,498 Regrouping? 113 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:54,217 Look, you keep on breaking up 114 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:55,335 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 115 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,058 Just a minute Come in 116 00:05:58,060 --> 00:06:00,369 This one's yours Oh, sorry 117 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,258 No, it's all right I can only hear every other word here anyway 118 00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:04,568 Alistair 119 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:09,049 What? Yes, why don't you do that? 120 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:12,654 Hasta la vista to you, too 121 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:14,769 Bye! 122 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,253 - He's in Bolivia - Should I ask why? 123 00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:21,730 Regrouping That's what he said What does that actually mean? 124 00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:25,699 Well, I don't know Well, sort of getting his act together, I suppose 125 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:28,533 Making money That's what he means, isn't it? 126 00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:33,411 - You make it sound like gun-running - Do I? Well, I just wish he would stop 127 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:36,856 I mean, it's like having a relationship with a jumping bean 128 00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:39,896 Talking of relationships, 129 00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:44,052 Harry called round when we were out 130 00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:46,291 - Harry? - Hmm 131 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:49,733 - Do you miss him? - Sometimes 132 00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:54,651 Well, not all the time, but Yeah, sometimes I really do 133 00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:57,691 I miss him being kind 134 00:06:58,780 --> 00:07:02,614 I miss him hardly ever finding the right words for what he wants to say 135 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:06,058 The times when we didn't need words at all 136 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:11,488 Then I think of him packing his bloody rugby kit and disappearing all the time, 137 00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:13,411 and I don't miss him one bit 138 00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:19,094 Did you know that the capital of Bolivia is La Paz and Sucre? 139 00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:23,008 - Of course - The second official language is Quechua 140 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,453 Well, everyone knows that 141 00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:27,259 - I suppose you speak it - Fluently 142 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:31,016 I suppose this interest in Bolivia has something to do with Alistair being there 143 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,136 Well, you like to know, don't you? 144 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:36,371 I'd like to know what it is that Harry wants to tell Sandy 145 00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:38,337 He wants to tell her about his promotion, I expect 146 00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:39,899 But he told us that 147 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,814 So he did Well, we'll just have to wait and see 148 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:47,733 - What if he wants to marry her? - (SCOFFING) That's not news, is it? 149 00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:49,173 Not news? 150 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:53,094 No, I mean, Harry said he had some news for Sandy 151 00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:54,933 Proposing is a question 152 00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:58,695 You don't say, "I've got some news We're going to get married," do you? 153 00:07:58,780 --> 00:08:01,169 Not unless you're on terribly firm ground, I suppose 154 00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:02,534 - Which they're not - Which they're not 155 00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:03,655 (DOORBELL RINGING) 156 00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:05,059 Oh, for goodness sake! 157 00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:06,812 Are we the only people who go to bed in this country? 158 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:08,253 That'll be Harry 159 00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:11,571 - How do you know that? - Well, detectives keep very strange hours 160 00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:14,538 It's a well-known fact I'll wake Sandy 161 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,497 Shall we just make sure first? 162 00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:18,849 (DOORBELL RINGING) 163 00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:20,692 LIONEL: Yes, yes, yes! 164 00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:22,532 Don't open the door It could be anyone 165 00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:25,612 - But you just said - No, just have a look first 166 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,009 (GASPS) 167 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:29,772 - What is it? - Eyes 168 00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:31,009 Oh 169 00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:35,456 Li, hombre! 170 00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:37,259 You're in Bolivia 171 00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:39,251 - Alistair? - Jean, hombre! 172 00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:40,853 You're in Bolivia 173 00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:45,059 I hate to argue with major-league people, but I am here 174 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:48,416 But you only phoned Judy a few hours ago Even you can't travel that quickly 175 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,253 No, no, no That was Glasgow My signal kept breaking up 176 00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:53,934 I was in Bolivia, that's what I said 177 00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:57,615 Well, that's sorted out Nice to see you, Alistair, good night 178 00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:59,413 Lionel! 179 00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,094 (JEAN SIGHING) 180 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:04,856 - Always the joker, eh, Li? - I wasn't joking Do you know what time it is? 181 00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:07,374 Well, tell you the truth, I'm a bit out of sync with time at the moment 182 00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:10,099 I'm either eight hours behind or 14 hours in front 183 00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:13,092 Well, look, come in and sit down Would you like something to eat? 184 00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:17,253 Oh, well No thanks, I had supper in Glasgow, or was that breakfast in Monaco? 185 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:20,093 I was in Monaco before Glasgow I'm sure I was 186 00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:22,375 I think I'll make a cup of tea 187 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,172 Isn't this great? 188 00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:27,858 I mean, here I am, back in the bosom of the land that bore me 189 00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:29,931 with two of my favourite human beings 190 00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,978 - What's going on? - Three of my favourite human beings 191 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,135 Sorry 192 00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:36,370 - I thought you were in Bolivia - No, let me explain that 193 00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:38,894 Oh, on the whole, Alistair, no, thank you 194 00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:42,656 - Sandy, is Judy awake? - Not if she's got any sense, no 195 00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:46,412 - What's going on? - Him Good night 196 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:51,059 Hey, hey Don't you look a million dollars? 197 00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:54,098 No You said you were in Bolivia 198 00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:57,297 I really must get a fifth-generation mobile Was, was! 199 00:09:57,380 --> 00:10:01,373 - Well, I think Judy would like to know why - Well Cheers, Li 200 00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:04,372 - Oh, thanks, Lionel - Thanks, Lionel You are a love 201 00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:09,498 - Where was I? - Bolivia 202 00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:12,617 - I think I'll go back to bed - No, no, no, no Come on, sit 203 00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:13,974 Okay, okay 204 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,492 Cutting through the husk to the pith, 205 00:10:18,140 --> 00:10:20,449 Alistair Deacon is back 206 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:24,859 Well, I don't mean here I mean there! 207 00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:29,172 - I'm a player again - What's he talking about? 208 00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:30,659 - Well, it's obvious - Money 209 00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:32,139 - Money - Right 210 00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:36,694 You know how things have been I mean, I was down I mean down 211 00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:39,340 - To your last million - Exactly And 212 00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:42,250 - Don't go, Jean and Lionel - No, we weren't going 213 00:10:42,340 --> 00:10:44,695 Because I want you to hear this as well 214 00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:49,419 I'm ready for the magic moment The big M 215 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:52,453 Alistair Deacon is ready for marriage 216 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,417 Yeah To Judy 217 00:10:56,300 --> 00:11:00,088 You're ready for marriage because you're back up there? 218 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,490 - Because you're a player again? - Right 219 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:04,299 Wrong 220 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:15,809 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 221 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,253 I'm asleep 222 00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:20,290 You used to say that when you were a little girl 223 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,610 Yes, well, I've really matured, haven't I? 224 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:27,774 Look All this tearing round the world, these weird meetings with weird people, 225 00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:29,816 Alistair is doing it for you 226 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:32,414 Yes, I know, but I don't want him to 227 00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:36,170 If I get married again, I want it to be to someone who's there, 228 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,889 not someone on the end of a mobile about 15 time zones away 229 00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:43,609 And don't tell me that this latest venture has got anything to do with publishing 230 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:45,133 No, I wasn't going to 231 00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:49,259 Look, when he was down, his version of down, 232 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,730 he was like a real person 233 00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:55,137 If that person had asked me to marry him 234 00:11:56,060 --> 00:11:57,891 Oh, well, what's he reverted to? 235 00:11:57,980 --> 00:12:01,655 He's like a mad battery toy whose battery never runs down 236 00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:06,052 - Lionel isn't like that - No, he's not He's more of the wind-up model 237 00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:10,852 - I'm proud of you, you know - Well, what on earth for? 238 00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:13,852 Well, it's a rare woman who wants her fella to make less money 239 00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:19,173 Well, maybe ex-fella I mean, Alistair's not noted for his attention span 240 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:22,889 He's probably on the phone to Miss Bolivia right now 241 00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:25,458 Anyway 242 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,579 Anyway 243 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:30,335 - Good night, love - Good night, Mum 244 00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:32,695 Oh, don't wake Lionel 245 00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:34,698 Oh, no Bless his cotton socks, 246 00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:37,533 he's got this thing about staying awake until I'm in bed, too 247 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:38,655 (JEAN CHUCKLING) 248 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,049 (SIGHING) 249 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:47,288 Now not only am I worried about Sandy, but I'm worried about Judy 250 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,292 (SNORING) 251 00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:57,335 JEAN: Thank you very much for coming 252 00:12:58,220 --> 00:12:59,699 - Goodbye - Bye 253 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:19,894 Jean? 254 00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:22,374 Jean! 255 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:28,739 Why are you back so soon? You said you'd be longer than that 256 00:13:28,820 --> 00:13:30,936 - Longer than what? - Than you were 257 00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,851 What were the police doing here? 258 00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:34,737 - They called round - Why? 259 00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:38,175 - Because I asked them to - Why? 260 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:41,009 Because I reported a prowler 261 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:44,297 - You didn't say anything to me about a prowler - Oh, didn't I? 262 00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:47,053 Look, would you come out of there, please? 263 00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:51,171 First, you're messing about with that cupboard, which you always do in times of stress 264 00:13:51,260 --> 00:13:53,569 I'm not messing about with it I'm rationalising it 265 00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:57,016 Which means taking everything out and putting it all back again 266 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,331 And secondly, I can't believe I'm saying this, 267 00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:05,138 you invent a prowler in order to get the police round 268 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,656 in the hope that the police will be represented by Harry? 269 00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:12,012 Well? 270 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:15,092 You think you're very clever sometimes, don't you? 271 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:20,618 Not especially, but I do know that I'm not given to fits of temporary insanity 272 00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:26,251 That was a very dangerous thing to do 273 00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:29,013 You could lock somebody in a cupboard and they could suffocate 274 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:32,490 I was thinking of scrambling some eggs to go with your scrambled brains 275 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,048 Look, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing 276 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,700 I didn't have Harry's home number so I thought 277 00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:40,089 Well, I thought I'd phone him at the station 278 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,216 And do something simple like ask to speak to him? 279 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,609 Yes, but then I suddenly thought, well, what on earth do I say? 280 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:48,056 "Hello, Harry, what is it you want to tell Sandy?" Well, I couldn't say that, could I? 281 00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:49,493 No, I suppose not 282 00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:52,378 - Did you ask for him by name? - No, of course not! 283 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,608 I did suggest it was a job for a detective sergeant 284 00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:59,534 - Naturally - So they sent the two constables instead 285 00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:02,578 Both nice lads One of them, Tony, plays in a country and western band 286 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:03,775 Does he really? 287 00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:06,328 - I suppose you think this is very funny - No, almost tragic 288 00:15:06,420 --> 00:15:07,409 (PHONE RINGING) 289 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,092 Oh, I'll get it 290 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,175 Hello? Oh, Harry! 291 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:13,974 (WHISPERING) It's Harry 292 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,568 Oh, you heard Yes, it was a frightening business 293 00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:20,413 Yes Oh, my description? 294 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:24,573 Well, it's a bit vague I mean, I didn't really get a good look at him 295 00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:28,019 Yes, I'm sure you will 296 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,739 Yes, and, Harry, while you're on the phone, I was wondering if 297 00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:33,493 Oh, no Of course, of course, yes Goodbye 298 00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:37,656 He had to go 299 00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:40,334 - What? - You gave the police a description 300 00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:42,376 of this nonexistent prowler? 301 00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:44,098 Well, they asked It was very vague 302 00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:45,249 (DOOR CLOSING) 303 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:46,534 SANDY: It's only me! 304 00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:50,295 You know that the penalty for wasting police time is 99 years' hard labour? 305 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:54,134 - Well, at least I got to talk to Harry - Yes, so you did A shame he had to go 306 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,289 Hi 307 00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:57,655 - Oh, hello, Sandy Are you all right? - Yes, fine 308 00:15:57,740 --> 00:15:59,219 I just came home to change 309 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,768 Suddenly remembered I've got a business lunch and, well 310 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,135 - This won't do, will it? - Not really 311 00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:05,573 Why not? 312 00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:08,176 - Anyway, I'll just go - Look, Sandy, before you go, 313 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,012 I've just been talking to Harry on the phone 314 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,250 - Harry? - Yes He sends his love 315 00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:13,938 Says how much he's missing you 316 00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:17,251 and he'll be in touch soon, but he's been very busy, so he'll see you soon 317 00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:20,571 - And you've just been talking to him? - Yes, just a minute ago 318 00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:24,858 - Then why would he say all that? - Well, because he's very fond of you 319 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,010 He phoned me at work an hour ago 320 00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:34,252 - I'm seeing him tonight - Good 321 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,214 So, what's going on? 322 00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:44,618 Do you mind if I ask you a question? 323 00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,770 - Help yourself - Okay 324 00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:49,851 You're a woman, right? 325 00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:54,137 No, I'm not 326 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:58,415 Stretch the mind Imagine you're a woman 327 00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:00,979 Try my best 328 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,850 - Right, so - Am I attractive? 329 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:10,375 Very You've got, er, dark brown hair, 330 00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:13,850 beautiful big eyes, a smile that lights up a room 331 00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:15,771 and these lovely little dimples 332 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,293 Where? 333 00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:20,210 On your cheeks Get the picture? 334 00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:22,732 Quite fancy meself 335 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:28,132 - Now, I ask you to marry me, okay - This isn't the first date, is it? 336 00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:30,059 No, no, no, no 337 00:17:30,740 --> 00:17:34,528 Now, bear in mind that I have practically circumnavigated the globe to get it right, 338 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,009 to make sure that you have everything you could possibly want 339 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,692 What do you say? 340 00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:42,568 - Yeah I accept - 'Cause it shows that I care, right? 341 00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:44,173 No, because I might be pretty, 342 00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,252 but there's no guarantee I'll keep my looks forever, is there? 343 00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:51,376 - I'll have the same again - Right 344 00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:57,057 But you know where I'm coming from, right? I mean, you must have been in love yourself 345 00:17:57,140 --> 00:17:59,973 No, not me, mate I'm married 346 00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:03,332 (MOBILE RINGING) 347 00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:06,738 Alistair Deacon 348 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,412 Hey, hey, lovely lady 349 00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:10,135 Me? 350 00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:14,295 Well, I might just be in a "set 'em up, Joe" sort of a mood 351 00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:18,890 Well, you know, the song Frank Sinatra 352 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,172 ♪ It's quarter to three 353 00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:24,411 ♪ There's no one in the place except you and me ♪ 354 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:27,253 What? No, no, that's the barman 355 00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:31,809 Well, yes, I suppose he has She says you have a nice voice 356 00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:35,052 Thank you very much The girl with the dimples? 357 00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:36,573 No, it's her mother 358 00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:42,378 Convince her, Alistair You've just got to convince her 359 00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:44,530 Look, I've got to go now, but remember what I said 360 00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:48,090 - Yes, bye - Old Mother Hubbard, I presume 361 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:51,776 - Look, I'm just making a phone call - From a cupboard? 362 00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:54,613 Well, people make phone calls from all sorts of places these days 363 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:57,658 Why can't you let people just sort things out for themselves? 364 00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:58,934 Because they can't 365 00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:00,055 (DOORBELL RINGING) 366 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,493 That'll be Harry 367 00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:05,131 - Oh, come in, Harry - Thanks 368 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:08,735 - Good evening, sir Lionel - Hello, Harry 369 00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:10,970 You go in and sit down I'll give Sandy a shout 370 00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,334 - Right - Sandy! 371 00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:15,059 Incidentally, Harry, any luck with this prowler business? 372 00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:19,258 Not from what I hear, no I mean, to be honest, there's not really a lot to go on, you see 373 00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:22,696 - No, there isn't, is there? - You just go in and sit down 374 00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:26,170 I'll give her a shout again Sandy! Thank you for that 375 00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:28,057 I'm just civic-minded, that's all 376 00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:30,210 - Harry's here - Yes, I guessed that 377 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:31,733 Is that what you're wearing? 378 00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:33,811 - What's wrong with it? - Well, nothing, but Harry's here 379 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,128 (SIGHING) 380 00:19:45,340 --> 00:19:46,375 (COUGHING) 381 00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:48,337 Oh, all right, all right 382 00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:52,699 - Oh, you look terrific - Oh, I should have dressed up 383 00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:56,489 No, you don't need to be dressed up for me You look terrific anyway 384 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,258 You always did 385 00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:02,010 - So, how's the rugby? - Oh, great 386 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,410 Yeah, I've moved to outside centre this year and it really suits my 387 00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:09,257 - You never did like rugby, did you? - Not really, no 388 00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:13,330 - Jean said you had some news - Yes 389 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,379 I'm going to Canada 390 00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:19,419 - Oh, that's nice A holiday? - No, to work 391 00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:22,897 I've been offered the chance of an attachment to the RCMP 392 00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:25,695 - The Mounties - For a year 393 00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:27,418 Don't think I'll get a horse 394 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,172 - A year - Yeah 395 00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,736 See, I wanted to tell you because 396 00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:35,048 Well, I didn't want to just disappear 397 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:36,848 No 398 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,972 - Thank you - It's a great opportunity 399 00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:40,971 Yes Yes, of course it is 400 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:46,169 Well, let's Let's go out and have that drink, then, shall we? 401 00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,613 Good idea 402 00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:51,659 - A sort of farewell drink, I suppose - Well, it doesn't have to be 403 00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:54,859 - Why is that? - I'm not going for a few weeks 404 00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:58,894 - Oh! - Oh! 405 00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:02,857 Sorry Just wondered if Harry would like an apple 406 00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:05,455 An apple? 407 00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:08,134 No, no, thanks all the same We're just going to go out for a drink 408 00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:11,576 - Oh, excellent Celebration? - Yes, sort of 409 00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:16,018 Harry's going to Canada on attachment For a year 410 00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:17,933 Oh, is he? 411 00:21:18,620 --> 00:21:21,453 - And - No That's it, really 412 00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:24,614 - See you later - HARRY: Bye 413 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,180 You're turning transparency into an art form 414 00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:35,299 Harry's going on attachment to Canada for a year, whatever that means 415 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:37,940 The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I suppose 416 00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,575 He won't have to wear one of those silly hats, will he? 417 00:21:40,660 --> 00:21:43,777 - Is that all you can say? - Offhand, yes 418 00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:47,011 - He didn't ask Sandy to go with him - Oh 419 00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:50,456 - Well, wouldn't you? - I can't see the Mounties wanting me 420 00:21:50,540 --> 00:21:54,533 - No lf, if! - All right, then 421 00:21:54,620 --> 00:21:56,895 If I were young and single 422 00:21:57,660 --> 00:22:00,049 - and hadn't met you - Oh, thank you 423 00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:04,656 I'd gallop up on my horse, in my red coat and silly scout's hat, 424 00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:07,891 throw Sandy across my pommel and gallop off 425 00:22:07,980 --> 00:22:11,336 Well, there you are, then What's wrong with the What's a pommel, anyway? 426 00:22:11,420 --> 00:22:12,933 Part of a saddle 427 00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,853 Anyway, women get thrown across them in all the best books 428 00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:20,092 - Your reading leaves a lot to be desired - Well, it was only an illustration 429 00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:23,695 Well, anyway, that's what he should be doing or its equivalent What's he doing? Nothing 430 00:22:23,780 --> 00:22:27,455 You can't manufacture happy endings for everybody, you know 431 00:22:27,540 --> 00:22:32,455 - Well, why not? We had one - What do you mean, "had"? We're still having it 432 00:22:32,540 --> 00:22:35,134 Oh, yes How nice 433 00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:38,890 What about Sandy? What about Judy? 434 00:22:38,980 --> 00:22:42,336 - What about Judy? - Oh, would you like an apple? 435 00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:46,655 - No, thanks What about Judy? - Your mother wants some happy endings 436 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:51,768 Yeah, well, don't we all Anyway, so what was Harry's news? 437 00:22:51,860 --> 00:22:55,136 He's going on attachment to Canada and he's going alone 438 00:22:56,780 --> 00:22:58,771 Royal Canadian Mounted Police 439 00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:02,416 Lionel says he should ride up, throw Sandy across his pommel 440 00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:05,139 - Across his what? - His pommel, that's part of the saddle 441 00:23:05,220 --> 00:23:06,494 And gallop off with her 442 00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:09,140 - Not really Harry's style, though, is it? - No 443 00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:13,133 - I remember Alistair turned up on a horse once - Yes, so he did 444 00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:16,132 He was wearing a suit of armour He squeaked 445 00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:17,699 (DOORBELL RINGING) 446 00:23:17,780 --> 00:23:20,340 Sandy's had a row with Harry and she's back 447 00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:22,809 - Sandy has a key - Oh 448 00:23:24,580 --> 00:23:26,218 - Hi, Li! - Hello, Alistair, come in 449 00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:29,133 - It's Alistair Don't run off - No, I wasn't going to 450 00:23:29,220 --> 00:23:31,131 People, I'm in a mood to blow some minds 451 00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:32,209 (MOBILE RINGING) 452 00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:34,530 Oh, your mobile's ringing 453 00:23:38,260 --> 00:23:41,332 And that's just an example Judy, I need you in the garden 454 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,378 - No Why? - Please Jean? 455 00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:46,337 Well, if you want to go into the garden, go into the garden 456 00:23:46,420 --> 00:23:48,809 No, I meant for you to come into the garden, too, and Li 457 00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:51,095 - Why? - Oh, don't be a spoilsport 458 00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,329 Look, it's cold out there 459 00:23:52,420 --> 00:23:56,208 Yes, it is Look, Alistair, if you've got something to say, just say it in here 460 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:57,619 Okay 461 00:23:58,660 --> 00:23:59,979 Whatever 462 00:24:00,780 --> 00:24:03,578 I shall need a bin and some matches 463 00:24:03,660 --> 00:24:06,493 - Why? - Don't keep saying "why" This is exciting 464 00:24:06,580 --> 00:24:07,854 Why? 465 00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:10,252 A bin and some matches, right 466 00:24:10,340 --> 00:24:13,696 - It is exciting, isn't it? - I'd sooner not rush to a judgement 467 00:24:13,780 --> 00:24:15,259 (MOBILE RINGING) 468 00:24:15,340 --> 00:24:17,900 Oh, it's still alive 469 00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:20,770 (RINGING FADES) 470 00:24:23,620 --> 00:24:25,451 You've got to hand it to the Swedes 471 00:24:25,540 --> 00:24:28,373 - Is this going to be some sort of conjuring trick? - Shh! Shh, Li! 472 00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:31,020 In a funny sort of a way, Li, it might be 473 00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:33,568 Judy, I want you to marry me 474 00:24:33,660 --> 00:24:36,970 I know you said no the last time, but that was almost in another age 475 00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:40,257 - It was four days ago - Whatever Anyway, 476 00:24:40,340 --> 00:24:43,059 I've realised I got it wrong I've had it wrong for a long time 477 00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:45,290 You see, when I was broke, 478 00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:48,099 well, almost broke, you 479 00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:52,811 Well, you always found time to, I don't know, like me 480 00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:56,376 - Well, of course I did - But I couldn't quite believe it, you see 481 00:24:56,460 --> 00:24:59,497 Contrary to world opinion, I don't think I'm worth very much as a person 482 00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:02,413 I've always thought that I was just worth whatever I was worth 483 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:03,649 Does this make any sense? 484 00:25:03,740 --> 00:25:07,016 - Look, you don't really need us - Yes, of course he does 485 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:12,860 Judy, I've been chasing the big bucks for you, and I've finally realised that you don't want them 486 00:25:13,140 --> 00:25:15,608 All I hope is that you still want 487 00:25:15,700 --> 00:25:20,057 the stupid four-eyed twit who's been chasing them because he loves you 488 00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:24,330 - Bin, please, Lionel - Bin, Alistair 489 00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:29,571 - Matches, please, Lionel - Matches, Alistair Is it a conjuring trick? 490 00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:30,979 (SHUSHING) 491 00:25:33,220 --> 00:25:36,690 Bolivia Athens Glasgow 492 00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:39,139 Monaco 493 00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:44,734 These are the contracts that will help set up superdeaccom, 494 00:25:45,300 --> 00:25:46,938 which will make the big bucks 495 00:25:47,020 --> 00:25:50,899 But if you don't want them, Judy, I don't want them, either 496 00:25:50,980 --> 00:25:55,258 - All I want is that you should marry me - Oh! 497 00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,856 - I'll take that as a yes - Yes 498 00:25:58,940 --> 00:26:00,453 Yes! 499 00:26:06,860 --> 00:26:10,296 Well, we don't want to throw money away just for the sake of it 500 00:26:13,540 --> 00:26:15,098 Coffee's ready 501 00:26:15,180 --> 00:26:17,933 I said you'd just put it all back What happened to rationalisation? 502 00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:20,534 Well, I don't have to rationalise it now Judy's getting married 503 00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:21,609 Oh, I see 504 00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:24,134 ALISTAIR: I'll bring the car round I'm parked just round the corner 505 00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:27,656 - Oh! - Hasta la vista, Mom and Pop-in-law 506 00:26:27,740 --> 00:26:29,253 "Pop-in-law"? 507 00:26:29,340 --> 00:26:32,616 - We're going out to eat - I'm so pleased for you, love 508 00:26:32,860 --> 00:26:35,169 - Thanks, Mum - So am I 509 00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:37,374 Except 510 00:26:38,900 --> 00:26:41,858 - Except what? - No "except" No, he didn't mean "except" at all 511 00:26:41,940 --> 00:26:43,419 No, I'm afraid I did 512 00:26:43,820 --> 00:26:48,018 I want you to be happy, Judy, but, erm, I have to say this 513 00:26:49,260 --> 00:26:52,058 Alistair's grand gesture with those contracts 514 00:26:52,140 --> 00:26:56,656 A small voice in my brain keeps saying, "Were they real contracts or just bits of paper?" 515 00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,856 - Lionel - No, no, no It's all right, 516 00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:02,810 because a small voice in my brain kept saying the same thing, 517 00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:05,653 but I could hardly get down on my hands and knees and spoil the moment 518 00:27:05,740 --> 00:27:07,378 by reading them, could I? 519 00:27:07,580 --> 00:27:09,457 Either way, it doesn't matter 520 00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:13,613 Because somewhere in all that the real Alistair said the right thing 521 00:27:14,340 --> 00:27:16,695 - Bye - Bye 522 00:27:16,780 --> 00:27:18,008 Bye 523 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:26,698 Oh, I found some photos of us in Los Angeles 524 00:27:26,780 --> 00:27:29,897 - When we stormed American television? - Virtually, yes 525 00:27:30,540 --> 00:27:33,577 - Look - I don't think I want to relive that experience 526 00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:36,128 - No look, it's Lillian Stevens - Who? 527 00:27:36,220 --> 00:27:38,654 That lady we met over there who sent us the card the other day 528 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:43,211 The one you described as being tall with long black hair and tight leather trousers 529 00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:50,379 - That's not the woman I meant - No Obviously 530 00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,894 Funny how the mind plays tricks, isn't it? 531 00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:57,296 I could have sworn I was describing Lillian Stevens 532 00:27:57,460 --> 00:27:58,859 Yes 533 00:27:59,660 --> 00:28:01,537 Who were you describing? 534 00:28:02,580 --> 00:28:04,889 - Coffee? - Lionel 535 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:06,974 Lionel! 536 00:28:11,740 --> 00:28:14,413 # You must remember this 537 00:28:14,580 --> 00:28:16,889 #A kiss is still a kiss 538 00:28:17,140 --> 00:28:20,337 #A sigh is just a sigh 539 00:28:22,540 --> 00:28:25,976 # The fundamental things apply 540 00:28:26,380 --> 00:28:29,975 #As time goes by 541 00:28:33,460 --> 00:28:35,849 #And when two lovers woo 542 00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:38,768 # They still say, "I love you" 543 00:28:38,940 --> 00:28:41,534 # On that you can rely 544 00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:48,698 # The world will always welcome lovers 545 00:28:50,220 --> 00:28:57,217 #As time goes by # 546 00:28:57,267 --> 00:29:01,817 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 44045

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