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♪ You must remember this
2
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,349
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,392
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,639
♪ The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:26,036
♪ As time goes by ♪
6
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- Morning.
- Morning.
7
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,157
- One to sign for here.
- Oh.
8
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,751
Well, the thing is...
9
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,870
Oh, sorry. I'm always doing that.
10
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,188
- Do you have the form?
- Oh.
11
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,509
- And have you the pen?
- Yes, of course. Er...
12
00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:24,233
- I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?
- No. I had the inky end in my mouth.
13
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,590
- Oh.
- Sign and print, please.
14
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,232
Next door's still for sale.
How long's that been?
15
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,352
- Oh, ages.
- Odd that.
16
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,358
It's because we've got
the plague in our house.
17
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,550
- Fancy that.
- No, I was joking.
18
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,639
No, no. Just as we're talking about it,
up pops the estate agent.
19
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:54,557
- That is a coincidence.
- More than that. It's paranormal.
20
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,397
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
21
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,556
Paranormal things happen around me.
22
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,989
- Be lucky.
- Yes. And you.
23
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,637
Postman Pat's been.
24
00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,990
The girls have been at this paper.
That's marmalade.
25
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,554
Don't make such a fuss.
It's only a dab.
26
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,433
He says paranormal things
happen when he's around.
27
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,632
Probably means he actually gets
the right mail to the right house.
28
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,910
Probably. This parcel's for Sandy.
29
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:37,279
Oh?
30
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,996
- You said it was for Sandy.
- I know. I know.
31
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,514
- I think I'll go for a little walk.
- Why?
32
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,949
- I just feel like it.
- Why?
33
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,470
Don't ask questions.
Get the marmalade off your paper.
34
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,276
Morning.
35
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,673
- You weren't very long.
- I said a short walk.
36
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,076
You could have walked
up and down the hall.
37
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,111
- Coffee?
- No, thanks.
38
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,911
- People are looking at next door.
- Oh, yes?
39
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,996
Oh, I see. Hence the little walk.
40
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,828
The two events were
just completely coincidental.
41
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,348
- They've got two children.
- Monsters?
42
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,550
I just said they've got two children.
43
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,149
What about the parents?
I assume they had shifty eyes.
44
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,272
- You're just not interested.
- Not in speculation.
45
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,675
When somebody buys it, we'll find out.
46
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,395
- Yeah. And in the meantime?
- What in the meantime?
47
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,431
Oh, all right. Nothing.
48
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,074
- Any post for me?
- There.
49
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,192
Oh. Who's the postcard from?
50
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,390
I don't know. It's addressed to you.
51
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,956
The message is next to the name
and address. You didn't read it?
52
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,037
The card was addressed to you.
It might be private.
53
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,197
Who writes something private
on a postcard?
54
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,913
Who wants to write
something private to me?
55
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,713
- You got a Valentine's card.
- That was from you.
56
00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:01,118
Oh, it's from Penny and Stephen.
They're in Spain.
57
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,835
I suppose permanently
is too much to hope for?
58
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,758
They're going to pop in
on the way back.
59
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:12,078
- Oh, good. When is this?
- Sat, they say. That's tomorrow.
60
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,678
Bang goes tomorrow.
61
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,395
- They'd like to stay over.
- Bang goes the whole weekend.
62
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,358
- Penny is my sister-in-law.
- Yes, I know.
63
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,871
If this had arrived sooner,
we could have arranged to be away.
64
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,672
It's too late now.
65
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,349
Why do people write PSs
in such tiny writing?
66
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,469
"We've got a lovely..."
67
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,795
Bunch of coconuts?
68
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,998
"We've got a lovely... surprise for you."
69
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:47,359
Am I a mean-spirited person
to feel apprehensive about that?
70
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,960
- Yes.
- Oh.
71
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,117
Which makes two of us mean-spirited.
72
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,993
Oh, cheer up.
It isn't the end of the world.
73
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,510
I really look forward to coming home
on a Friday evening.
74
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,438
The whole weekend to look forward to.
75
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:06,792
Actually, Judy and I had planned
to be out all day tomorrow.
76
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:07,909
Where?
77
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,791
- Alton Towers.
- Brighton.
78
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,430
Penny and Stephen are going
to stay over on Saturday.
79
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,233
- That'll be nice, won't it?
- Oh, Mum.
80
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,113
I could hardly say no to a postcard.
81
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,516
I suppose we'll have
to spring-clean our rooms.
82
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,278
No, just tidy up.
83
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,278
Penny and Stephen can have our room,
you go in with Sandy
84
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,790
and Lionel and I will have your room,
if that's all right.
85
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,831
What we need is a sofa bed.
86
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,513
Well, I don't think
they'll make a habit of it.
87
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,279
By the way, there's a parcel for you.
88
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,117
Is there?
89
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,199
Oh, yes.
90
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,232
- Aren't you going to open it?
- Later.
91
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:49,429
Oh.
92
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,755
The vacuum cleaner's on the landing.
93
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:57,113
- You didn't do our rooms as well?
- They're forbidden territory.
94
00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,232
And I didn't leave
any of my knickers lying around.
95
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,909
Oh, and just to add
to the general note of gaiety,
96
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,157
did Jean tell you about
Penny and Stephen's surprise?
97
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,112
- What surprise?
- Well, I don't know yet.
98
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,628
The card said they had
a lovely surprise for us.
99
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,319
That makes all four of us mean-spirited.
100
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,590
- (Doorbell)
- Please, Lionel. Please just behave.
101
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,030
All right. But if she produces
holiday snaps, I might doze off.
102
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,593
You dare.
103
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,278
Hola!
104
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,471
- Hello, Penny. Good holiday?
- Fantastic.
105
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,636
Oh, poor Jean.
106
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,389
You look rather drawn round the eyes.
How about you, Lionel?
107
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:44,399
I'm rather drawn round the eyes too.
How's Stephen?
108
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,557
- Oh, fiddling with the cases.
- I'll give him a hand.
109
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,479
Come in, Penny.
Penny and Stephen are here!
110
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,511
We should have brought the porter.
111
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,835
- I'll bring that last one.
- Thanks.
112
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,395
- Hello, Uncle Stephen.
- Hello.
113
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,111
- Hello.
- Hello, Stephen.
114
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:06,073
Hello, you two.
My word, don't you both look pretty?
115
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,917
You always look so pretty.
116
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,951
It's so kind of you to say that
117
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,992
but you shouldn't say
it in front of Aunt Penny.
118
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,429
Why ever not?
She doesn't mind, does she?
119
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,950
Penny, you don't mind me saying
how pretty the girls look?
120
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,070
That man's got a death wish.
121
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,469
That's me by the fountain
in the grounds of the hotel.
122
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,629
And this is me again
123
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:34,470
by the same fountain
but from a different angle.
124
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,111
Where's this, Stephen?
125
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:43,352
- By a statue.
- Yes, but where was the statue?
126
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,198
Let me think.
We saw quite a lot of statues.
127
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,595
Never mind. It's me by a statue.
128
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,554
Now, here we are...
This is me again
129
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,354
in the hotel dining room
or "commodore", as we say.
130
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,473
Wait a minute.
What's that waiter doing behind me?
131
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,590
Just larking about, I expect.
132
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,756
I never did take to that man.
133
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,791
Oh... One of Stephen.
134
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,714
- Where is he?
- There, in the background.
135
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,797
As you see, he's watching me flamenco.
136
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:25,233
- Ole! Flamenco!
- Your Spanish is fluent, isn't it?
137
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,670
- Poco.
- She picked up a Spanish chap.
138
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,073
(All) Ooh!
139
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,874
I came to an arrangement
with a regular taxi driver,
140
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,832
if that's what you mean, Stephen.
141
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,189
- That's me on some steps.
- Where?
142
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,276
They were near a restaurant.
143
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:48,079
Stephen fell down them
just after he'd taken the photograph.
144
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,918
- Good lunch, Stephen?
- It was actually.
145
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,236
- Well, that's the lot.
- Oh.
146
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,511
No, no, it isn't. I know
there was a wallet somewhere.
147
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,877
No, that's the lot.
148
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,309
I was sure there was something else.
149
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,478
Never mind. I'll send you all
copies of everything.
150
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:14,196
Ah, there they are.
I knew there was some more.
151
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,879
Actually, we'd better start supper.
152
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,718
- Yes. Yes, we had.
- It's only five o'clock.
153
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:23,548
- It's quite a complicated recipe.
- Just a minute.
154
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:27,115
- Penny, what about your surprise?
- Your lovely surprise.
155
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,678
Are you miming something?
156
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,671
No, I suddenly feel rather tired.
157
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,871
What with the luggage
and getting him through Customs.
158
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,276
Would you mind if I snatched
a siesta before supper?
159
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,710
No, not at all.
But what about the surprise?
160
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,752
Well, we're thinking
of going to live in Spain.
161
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,155
We've found our dream house.
162
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,112
- Stephen, carry my bags up.
- Very good.
163
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:52,957
More anon.
164
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,514
- They're going to live in Spain.
- Yes!
165
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,159
Why?
166
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,112
Don't bother with reasons, just be happy.
167
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,038
Yes. It starts
as a warm glow just here.
168
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,952
I shall miss Uncle Stephen
saying how nice we look.
169
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,073
- Sweet, isn't it?
- Just think what we shan't miss.
170
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,590
- That could take some time.
- You two could start supper.
171
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,234
I only volunteered
to get out of the room.
172
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,635
We should have gone to Alton Towers.
173
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,593
The earlier we eat, the sooner
we can suggest we go to bed early.
174
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,631
What a sensible idea.
175
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,552
Sandy. You still
haven't opened your parcel.
176
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,114
It's all right. I know what's in it.
177
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,919
A?
178
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,555
- A what?
- Or some?
179
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,149
- What are you talking about?
- No one ends a sentence like that.
180
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,679
"I know what's in it."
181
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,395
They say,
"I know what's in it. A... thing."
182
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,750
Or "Some... things"
183
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,358
Let's have a drink.
184
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,748
It's those two-way mirrors.
185
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,837
- What two-way mirrors?
- At the airport.
186
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,953
Didn't you see that television
documentary about Customs?
187
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,788
- They spy on you.
- I'm still not with you.
188
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,276
Well, you know, you see?
You know they're spying on you.
189
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:24,029
Before you know it,
you've got a guilty expression.
190
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,038
- You got pulled in then?
- No.
191
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,509
- Drink, Stephen?
- Thanks very much.
192
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:34,678
- Tell us about your dream house,
- Well, it was very lovely.
193
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,439
On a hillside
overlooking the harbour.
194
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:42,076
Beautiful terrace, swimming pool,
five or six acres of land.
195
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,509
- And it's for sale?
- No.
196
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:47,552
- It's going to be for sale?
- Not as far as I know.
197
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,036
But Penny said
you'd seen your dream house.
198
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,674
Ah, she should have said
"a" dream house.
199
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,950
She'd like to build one like it.
200
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,274
Build?
201
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,356
Well, not herself, naturally.
202
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,712
- That could take ages.
- Mm.
203
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,672
It's all "Mañana" over there, you know.
204
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,951
Over here they say, "straightaway"
and mean the same.
205
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:19,349
- How much do dentists get paid?
- How should I know? Why?
206
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,598
Well, I was wondering how Stephen
can suddenly afford
207
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,517
to buy a mansion in Spain.
208
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:29,030
Perhaps he rips out gold fillings
while his patients are out.
209
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,752
He's not the type.
210
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:35,635
Stephen's back on two-way mirrors.
How are you getting on?
211
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:39,275
Two-way mirrors?
Is this a Stephen we don't know about?
212
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,833
Customs.
213
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,996
Any more about the dream house?
214
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,600
Yes. It's on a hill,
overlooking the harbour
215
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,552
with a terrace, a pool
and seven acres of land.
216
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:52,479
- My God. It is a mansion.
- How much will that cost?
217
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,909
He's not buying it.
He's going to build one.
218
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:58,999
- Build one?
- How much do dentists get paid?
219
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,758
I asked that.
220
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:05,032
Well, they must be planning to sell
up over here. That's money.
221
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,356
Enough to buy the sort of house
they're talking about?
222
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,470
That's got to be L1,000 a tooth.
223
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,638
- They must have thought about it.
- It's not our business anyway.
224
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,750
No, no. Quite.
225
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,070
Try and steer the conversation
round after dinner.
226
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,752
I must say, that was a delicious dinner.
227
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,439
Nice to get some English food again.
228
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,950
Yes. Very acceptable,
but one misses paella.
229
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,788
I don't know why.
You had diarrhoea for three days after it.
230
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,437
I do wish you wouldn't
use that word, Stephen.
231
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,311
That's what it's called.
232
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,830
What sort of dishwasher
will you have in Spain, Penny?
233
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:51,436
- Very odd question.
- No. I'm just interested.
234
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,552
Well, I hadn't really
thought that far ahead.
235
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,950
But I may leave the choice
to our "servadora".
236
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,833
That means "servant", doesn't it?
237
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,350
- I didn't know you knew Spanish.
- Oh, just a little.
238
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,389
Oh.
239
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,112
A servant?
240
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,958
I always fancied learning Hungarian.
241
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,351
- Hungarian? Why?
- I don't know really.
242
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,119
Well, it won't
do you much good in Spain.
243
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:22,199
You could take it up as a hobby
as you're retiring.
244
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,196
Retiring? Stephen's retiring?
245
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,992
Stephen's retiring.
246
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,031
Oh, good night, Stephen.
247
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,148
- Lionel.
- Sorry?
248
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,112
Good for you.
Isn't it a bit early though?
249
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:40,234
You reach a stage where you don't
want to look at people's teeth ever again.
250
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,669
Tooth fatigue.
251
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,233
That's rather good.
252
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:48,751
I suppose you know the Spanish
for "gardener", Judith?
253
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,791
Er... no, I don't.
254
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,274
We shall be having one of those as well.
255
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,636
And just what is the Spanish
for "gardener"?
256
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,910
- Possibly two.
- Two?
257
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:04,078
Two. I wonder what the Hungarian
for "two" is.
258
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,588
Oh, Stephen, nobody knows.
259
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,676
A Hungarian would.
260
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,790
Lionel, please stick to the subject.
261
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,515
- What is the subject?
- Their house in Spain.
262
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,632
It's beginning to sound
more like an estate.
263
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,989
I wouldn't go so far as that.
264
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,191
Well, perhaps a little one.
265
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,310
And Stephen retiring.
266
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,432
- We told you that.
- Yes, I know you did.
267
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:36,432
- Look, I hate to be nosey, but...
- Judith?
268
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:41,873
I suppose you know the Spanish
for "fiesta" is actually "fiesta"?
269
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,950
Er... what do you hate
about being nosey?
270
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,355
Just about everything really.
271
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,391
Then there's Armenian.
272
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,153
Is this another language
you'd like to learn?
273
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,112
No. I was thinking
how many languages there are.
274
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,993
Will you be getting
a swimming pool as well?
275
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,315
- Essential.
- Well, well.
276
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:08,478
A swimming pool and servants
and gardeners.
277
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:12,957
I see what you're getting at. Where
do you find all the money for this?
278
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,797
(Jean) Lionel!
279
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:25,199
- That's none of our business.
- Sorry?
280
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,595
Quite right, Jean.
281
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,518
Still, I suppose
there's no harm in telling.
282
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,710
Pension plans.
283
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:37,356
All down to Pen. She insisted we
set some up when we got married.
284
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,960
I've had her tasting my food ever since.
285
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,591
(Jean) Can you move over a bit?
286
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,632
(Lionel) Yes, I can if you want me
to fall out of bed.
287
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,594
It's no good wriggling for space
because there isn't any.
288
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,438
- (Jean) Truce then.
- Truce.
289
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,355
- You've no sense of honour.
- It's only for one night.
290
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,470
That is carved in stone.
291
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,750
You went very quiet this evening.
292
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,075
I got thinking about pension plans.
293
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,395
- Why?
- Cos I haven't got any.
294
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,198
- I have.
- No need to sound so smug.
295
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,835
I'm not sounding smug.
I'm just stating a fact.
296
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,394
How long have you had
these pension plans?
297
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,477
- Years.
- Oh. Well, I haven't.
298
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:30,513
- You just said that.
- I just never thought of it before.
299
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:35,111
Don't worry. What's mine is yours,
remember? We'll be all right.
300
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,718
Hm.
301
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,348
What happens when I go mad?
302
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,831
Are you planning to go mad?
303
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,348
Of course not, but it does happen.
304
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:52,110
Lionel, how many mad people
do you actually know?
305
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:57,951
Well, not mad... funny.
They're not cheap, those homes.
306
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,150
Oh, you're going into a home now?
307
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,393
I'd have to. No knowing
what I'd get up to if you kept me here.
308
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,796
As flights of fancy go,
this isn't a very cheerful one.
309
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,072
No. But if you did keep me here
to save money,
310
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,554
you couldn't invite anybody in.
311
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,591
Oh, stop it!
312
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,632
Just a few royalties from the book,
313
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,717
the capital from the flat -
that's all I've got.
314
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:30,151
Hm. I never thought the day would come
Penny was cleverer than me.
315
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,794
Have the girls got pension plans?
316
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,229
- They're children.
- They're not.
317
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,999
It rushes up on you, time.
318
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,715
So which one of us is going
to push the supermarket trolley?
319
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:47,515
- At least you'll be all right.
- I told you, we'll both be all right.
320
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,790
Provided I don't go funny.
321
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,229
They're not cheap, those homes.
322
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,478
Tell you what, I'll keep you in
a kennel in the cellar. How's that?
323
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,710
- You're not taking this seriously.
- Am I meant to?
324
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,878
A mention of pension plans
and you're talking about going mad.
325
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,639
- That might be a bit excessive.
- Really?
326
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,719
I just wonder what I'm contributing
to our future, that's all.
327
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,991
You! Now go to sleep.
328
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,077
I'll try.
329
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:26,159
One more thing, Lionel.
If you go mad in the night, do it quietly.
330
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,555
You know how hysterical Penny can get.
331
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,915
Morning. You're not leaving
Uncle Stephen behind?
332
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,669
No. I'm just going for a walk
or "passio" as we say.
333
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,711
- (Doorbell)
- I'll answer that.
334
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,997
Hey, hey, Penny.
335
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,476
- "Binos dios."
- Salut.
336
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,636
- That's not Spanish.
- What was yours?
337
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,116
- Spanish.
- Buona fortuna.
338
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,390
- May I come in?
- Of course.
339
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,510
- Hi, Li.
- Hello, Alistair.
340
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,279
- Is this delicious Sandy about?
- Yes.
341
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,915
- Don't you mean Judith?
- No. Sandy.
342
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,236
- Could we have a quick word?
- Any time, any place.
343
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,113
Is this something
I should know about?
344
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,712
No.
345
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,275
- So... shoot.
- Alistair, I'd like your advice.
346
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,436
I'm honoured. What's the prob?
347
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,392
- I need some money.
- Say no more. How much?
348
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,715
No. I need to make some money.
349
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,355
Oh, right. I see. Right.
350
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,119
You didn't say that
with any confidence.
351
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,151
Well, it's just the book...
352
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,476
My Life In Kenya
isn't setting the world on fire.
353
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:46,753
I know. Last quarter's royalties
were L32.45p.
354
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:51,351
No. What are the chances of
getting back on the lecture circuit?
355
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,119
- Well, er... let's see...
- None.
356
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,630
- Did I say that?
- No, but your expression did.
357
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,671
Don't give up on this, Li.
358
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,319
Can you sing?
359
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,232
No, I can't.
What are you talking about?
360
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,953
It's just an idea. A CD.
361
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:17,636
The Songs Of Kenya
by Lionel Hardcastle.
362
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,310
- Bit wild, isn't it?
- Just slightly, yes.
363
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:25,079
- Another book.
- My Life On Holland Park?
364
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:26,553
Perhaps not.
365
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,273
Forget it. I shouldn't
have lumbered you.
366
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,313
Never say die, Li. Give me time,
I might come up with something.
367
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:36,511
Tell me, guy to guy,
why this sudden need for bucks?
368
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,518
- I haven't got a pension plan.
- Oh.
369
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,996
Take this in the spirit
in which it's intended, but...
370
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,951
isn't it a bit late to start one?
371
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,355
Yes. Jean's had one for years.
372
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,630
Well, great. Money in the kitty.
373
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,240
- Yes, but...
- No buts, Li.
374
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,999
The lady loves you.
It's her right to share.
375
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,508
Well, yes.
376
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:02,759
Just as if I'm with a lady who insists on
continually taking her clothes off,
377
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,791
it's her right to do it.
378
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:09,031
It's not really the same thing, is it?
379
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,832
No, I suppose not.
380
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,031
- My God, that was ambrosia.
- It was just a fry-up.
381
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,038
Yes, but after
all those Spanish breakfasts...
382
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,957
I don't think a man feels a man
383
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,719
till he's got some bacon
inside him. Do you?
384
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,312
I don't know. I have to think about that.
385
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,476
- Looks like rain.
- Perfect.
386
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,593
Nothing like English rain.
Is there, Lionel?
387
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,712
- Is there what?
- Anything like English rain.
388
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,797
I don't know. The last lot
we got came from France.
389
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:46,396
Yes, but by the time it had got here,
it had turned into English rain.
390
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,477
We're off. Will you
still be here when we get back?
391
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,274
Yes. Pen and I thought we'd treat you
to a pub lunch before we go.
392
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,390
Oh, that'll be nice. See you later.
393
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,191
Then there's Hampshire rain.
394
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,680
The Spanish don't play cricket.
395
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,234
Temperamentally unsuited,
I suppose.
396
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,919
Maybe they just think it's a silly game.
397
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,352
No one could think that. Clunk.
398
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:20,319
- Clunk?
- The sound of willow on leather.
399
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,511
- Oh.
- It wasn't very good, was it?
400
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,279
Do you think boink
might be nearer to it?
401
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,471
- No. I think clunk was quite good.
- Really?
402
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,829
Nothing like village cricket.
403
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,678
Pen and I toddle along
on a Sunday afternoon.
404
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,995
Only time I get to wear my Panama.
405
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:41,670
- I didn't know Penny liked cricket.
- She generally nods off.
406
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:45,030
It's pleasant all the same.
The sun shining.
407
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,629
The grass that really particular
English green.
408
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,511
Cup of tea and a scone.
409
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,630
Clunk, of course.
410
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,875
Nothing like it.
411
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,911
God, it's good to be home.
412
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,791
What?
413
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,956
For someone
who's going to live in Spain,
414
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,195
you're rhapsodising about England.
415
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:11,597
- I'm not going to live in Spain.
- What? Have you told Penny?
416
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:12,755
No.
417
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:17,078
- Don't you think she should know?
- Not really.
418
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:20,669
- When are you going to tell her?
- You don't understand.
419
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,030
She'll come to the same conclusion
as me in her own time.
420
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,277
- You sound very confident.
- I know my Pen.
421
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,472
She gets an idea in her head,
then before you know it, it's gone.
422
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,080
- Take the Ouija board.
- The Ouija board?
423
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,953
When she decided
to investigate the occult.
424
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,638
Two goes we had
425
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,434
and the nearest we got to
a message was "Black like Nixto."
426
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,074
That was that. It's always the same.
427
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,031
You're quite right.
428
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,799
Meanwhile,
you're not going to tell her?
429
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,637
It's kinder not to really.
430
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,274
Not that we ever could
have made this work.
431
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,551
We could never afford
the kind of place Pen wanted.
432
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,751
This pension business
is all jolly comforting
433
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,872
but seven acres and servants it is not.
434
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,239
Well...
435
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,549
I'm glad you're not going, Stephen.
436
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,397
Thank you.
437
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,230
Yes, I am too.
438
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,431
It wouldn't be the same
without you and Penny around.
439
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,393
Well, we shall be around a lot more
now that I'm retiring.
440
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,797
Come on, Pen.
We're waiting to go to lunch.
441
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,957
I do wish you wouldn't bellow
when I'm on the loo.
442
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,151
- It's not a thing I do regularly.
- Where's my bag?
443
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,839
Thank you. Oh, incidentally...
444
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,190
I noticed the house next door
is up for sale again.
445
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,277
- I'm sure it'll go in no time.
- Like hotcakes.
446
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,357
It makes you think -
a house like that in London,
447
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,039
next to our dearest friends.
448
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,597
And we could afford it now.
449
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,038
Thank you again for putting us up.
450
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,390
I mean, you and Lionel in a single bed.
451
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,874
We were as snug as two bugs in a rug.
452
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,433
Very cosy.
453
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,040
What about you two pretty girls?
454
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,709
We were fine. We were
a bit squashed, but we were fine.
455
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,159
Squashed?
456
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,237
Keep him walking.
He's glazing over again.
457
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,671
Why are you pulling me about?
458
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,915
You don't think they'd buy that house?
459
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,110
Let's hope it's another Ouija board.
460
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,114
- What now?
- Look.
461
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:42,351
There is a God.
Come on, we're getting left behind.
462
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,436
No, no. Wait.
463
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,599
Good morning.
464
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,910
Morning.
465
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,710
What nice people.
466
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,517
Really nice people.
467
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,993
♪ You must remember this
468
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,554
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
469
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,910
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
470
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,714
♪ The fundamental things apply
471
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,514
♪ As time goes by
472
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,513
♪ And when two lovers woo
473
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,313
♪ They still say I love you
474
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,272
♪ On that you can rely
475
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:48,237
♪ The world will always welcome lovers
476
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:57,518
♪ As time goes by ♪
477
00:28:57,568 --> 00:29:02,118
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