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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,371 --> 00:00:02,404 Previously on Another Period... 2 00:00:02,406 --> 00:00:04,173 Hamish learned Chair was having an affair 3 00:00:04,175 --> 00:00:06,241 with the commodore and decided to blackmail her. 4 00:00:06,243 --> 00:00:07,676 Lillian slept with Hamish, 5 00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:09,311 hoping she would get some attention, 6 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,346 but when all of the Bellacourt family's secrets 7 00:00:11,348 --> 00:00:14,116 appeared in the newspaper and a reporter wound up dead, 8 00:00:14,118 --> 00:00:15,818 Chair framed Hamish for the murder. 9 00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:17,419 Confused? 10 00:00:17,421 --> 00:00:20,569 You won't be after this episode of Another Period. 11 00:00:21,892 --> 00:00:23,625 Sounds like someone's got 12 00:00:23,627 --> 00:00:25,227 a case of the Mondays. 13 00:00:25,229 --> 00:00:26,761 Oh, buddy, do you really want to spend 14 00:00:26,763 --> 00:00:28,263 what could be your last moments 15 00:00:28,265 --> 00:00:29,998 just pacing around in worry? 16 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,100 You got to enjoy the little things, 17 00:00:32,102 --> 00:00:33,902 like sunlight 18 00:00:33,904 --> 00:00:37,105 or sitting on the very bucket you're pooping in. 19 00:00:37,107 --> 00:00:38,673 - [keys jangle] - Hamish! 20 00:00:38,675 --> 00:00:40,342 You've got a visitor. 21 00:00:41,812 --> 00:00:45,046 Now, keep it to deep kissing only. 22 00:00:45,048 --> 00:00:46,948 We're not lovers! 23 00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:48,683 He's my brother. 24 00:00:48,685 --> 00:00:50,652 [dramatic music] 25 00:00:50,654 --> 00:00:54,222 Deep kissing only. 26 00:00:56,326 --> 00:00:57,959 What's the matter with you? 27 00:00:57,961 --> 00:00:59,828 You cannot tell anybody that we're brothers. 28 00:00:59,830 --> 00:01:02,697 I don't care about keeping your little secrets anymore. 29 00:01:02,699 --> 00:01:05,033 I die at sunset. 30 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,341 [sighs] I'm scared too. 31 00:01:13,343 --> 00:01:16,778 Remember when we were younger, we used to play that game? 32 00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:20,348 Lighting Daddy's warehouse on fire for insurance money? 33 00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:22,350 No, not Jewish Lightning, dummy. 34 00:01:22,352 --> 00:01:23,385 The other game, 35 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,453 the vaginal description game. 36 00:01:25,455 --> 00:01:26,688 Oh. 37 00:01:26,690 --> 00:01:28,123 He never made it past first grade, 38 00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:30,158 but, my God, there was no one better 39 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,993 at guessing what a woman's crinkle looked like 40 00:01:31,995 --> 00:01:33,495 than old Hamish. 41 00:01:33,497 --> 00:01:35,130 Oh, that sounds like a hell of a time. 42 00:01:35,132 --> 00:01:37,899 Do one now. Do Mary Todd Lincoln. 43 00:01:37,901 --> 00:01:40,068 Oh, I don't want to. Not in the mood. 44 00:01:40,070 --> 00:01:41,736 Lost your touch, eh? 45 00:01:41,738 --> 00:01:44,706 Yeah, right. 46 00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:46,875 Powerful first impression. 47 00:01:46,877 --> 00:01:48,476 Old man frowny face. 48 00:01:48,478 --> 00:01:50,679 Smells of freedom, which... 49 00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:51,913 smells like onions. 50 00:01:51,915 --> 00:01:54,049 That is exactly right. I know. 51 00:01:54,051 --> 00:01:55,817 I paid for a glimpse at the state fair. 52 00:01:55,819 --> 00:01:58,620 I have a gift. Had a gift. 53 00:02:00,357 --> 00:02:01,990 Hold tight, Hamish. 54 00:02:01,992 --> 00:02:04,859 I'm going to get you freed. 55 00:02:04,861 --> 00:02:06,394 Guard? 56 00:02:06,396 --> 00:02:08,029 While you're at it, is there any chance 57 00:02:08,031 --> 00:02:09,664 of you getting me freed too? 58 00:02:09,666 --> 00:02:10,999 We'll see. 59 00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,834 He-- he said it like a yes. 60 00:02:12,836 --> 00:02:14,269 It was a no. 61 00:02:14,271 --> 00:02:16,605 I mean, you just got a bad attitude. 62 00:02:16,607 --> 00:02:18,873 No, I know him. He's a terrible person. 63 00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:21,276 I want the money, I want the fame 64 00:02:21,278 --> 00:02:23,712 I want the whole world to know my name 65 00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:26,081 this is mine, I got to get it 66 00:02:26,083 --> 00:02:28,550 I got to get it, got, got to get it 67 00:02:28,552 --> 00:02:30,051 Another Period 68 00:02:30,052 --> 00:02:31,785 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 69 00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:35,790 [lively classical music] 70 00:02:35,792 --> 00:02:37,192 Ah! 71 00:02:37,194 --> 00:02:38,960 Beatrice, what are you doing? 72 00:02:38,962 --> 00:02:41,563 Well, I can't go to trial without doing cocaine. 73 00:02:41,565 --> 00:02:43,632 Well, why are you shooting it into your eyeballs? 74 00:02:43,634 --> 00:02:45,600 'Cause it'll get to my brain faster. 75 00:02:45,602 --> 00:02:48,703 Flobelle, do my hair into maize rows. 76 00:02:48,705 --> 00:02:50,739 I, uh, don't do hair, my lady. 77 00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:54,109 Oh, I guess I'll never stop being surprised around here. 78 00:02:54,111 --> 00:02:56,077 Miss Lillian, I do hair. 79 00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:58,546 Do you think I'd trust some pussy fanner 80 00:02:58,548 --> 00:03:00,548 to touch my head on a day like today? 81 00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:03,218 Get back down there and fan my pussy! 82 00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:05,587 I want it bone dry for the trial. 83 00:03:05,589 --> 00:03:06,921 [sighs] 84 00:03:06,923 --> 00:03:08,757 Technically, Hamish is the one being tried, 85 00:03:08,759 --> 00:03:10,258 but I've been called to testify 86 00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:12,260 due to the fact that I'm his former lover. 87 00:03:12,262 --> 00:03:14,562 And also I'm beautiful, charismatic, 88 00:03:14,564 --> 00:03:15,764 sexually intoxicating-- 89 00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:17,465 I just want to see someone die-- 90 00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:20,969 from hanging or firing squad or dynamite or... 91 00:03:20,971 --> 00:03:21,970 even old age. 92 00:03:21,972 --> 00:03:23,438 [clears throat] Yes. 93 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:24,639 Well, who doesn't? 94 00:03:24,641 --> 00:03:25,974 But let's not try to shift focus 95 00:03:25,976 --> 00:03:28,276 off of the person who matters here-- me. 96 00:03:28,278 --> 00:03:29,577 Oh, give me the P. 97 00:03:29,579 --> 00:03:31,746 But I wanted to wear Mr. Plume. 98 00:03:31,748 --> 00:03:33,648 Beatrice, I can't have you upstaging me. 99 00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:35,016 If you want more attention, 100 00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:36,885 you should start sleeping with more murderers. 101 00:03:36,887 --> 00:03:37,986 Fine. 102 00:03:37,988 --> 00:03:40,622 Oh, great. Cripple mom is here. 103 00:03:40,624 --> 00:03:41,756 [laughs] 104 00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:42,991 Lillian, why are you dressed 105 00:03:42,993 --> 00:03:45,694 like a Prussian whore on payday? 106 00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:48,096 Lillian's wearing Mr. P because she's the star witness 107 00:03:48,098 --> 00:03:49,297 and I'm not. 108 00:03:49,299 --> 00:03:51,299 Just as I coached you, Beatrice. 109 00:03:51,301 --> 00:03:53,001 Well, I don't have to coach anyone 110 00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:55,170 to convince myself I'm important. 111 00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:57,272 It is my testimony that will determine 112 00:03:57,274 --> 00:03:59,140 whether Hamish lives or-- 113 00:03:59,142 --> 00:04:00,442 Dies! 114 00:04:00,444 --> 00:04:01,676 Dies. 115 00:04:01,678 --> 00:04:03,244 Or dies. 116 00:04:04,781 --> 00:04:07,215 See you in court, Chair. 117 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,386 Oh. Ah! 118 00:04:11,388 --> 00:04:12,987 Help her with her drugs. 119 00:04:12,989 --> 00:04:14,422 [whimpering] 120 00:04:17,894 --> 00:04:23,064 [stately classical music] 121 00:04:23,066 --> 00:04:25,033 Don't you see? 122 00:04:25,035 --> 00:04:26,167 Hamish is innocent. 123 00:04:26,169 --> 00:04:27,736 I killed that reporter, 124 00:04:27,738 --> 00:04:29,804 and now Hamish stands to be executed 125 00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:33,675 for what I did, for my sin. 126 00:04:33,677 --> 00:04:36,177 Guide me, o willow. 127 00:04:36,179 --> 00:04:38,012 Yes. 128 00:04:38,014 --> 00:04:39,814 Yes, of course. You're right. 129 00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:42,150 O willow, I must confess. 130 00:04:42,152 --> 00:04:43,752 Yes, they will kill me, 131 00:04:43,754 --> 00:04:46,187 but I must be willing to face that. 132 00:04:46,189 --> 00:04:48,356 And this, this being my last day, 133 00:04:48,358 --> 00:04:50,725 I shall live as I never have before. 134 00:04:50,727 --> 00:04:53,595 Anyhoo, enough about me. How are you? 135 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:56,431 How are Fern and the kids? 136 00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:57,565 [lively electronic music] 137 00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:58,733 One more photo, ladies. 138 00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:00,168 - One more. - [women singing] 139 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:02,003 Oh, my. 140 00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:05,039 If it isn't Brussels Sheridan from "The Looky-Loo." 141 00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:06,841 Look, a woman smoking in public. 142 00:05:06,843 --> 00:05:09,177 Real taboo stuff happening here. 143 00:05:09,179 --> 00:05:12,847 Is that supposed to be some kind of political statement? 144 00:05:12,849 --> 00:05:14,916 Yes, you might want to write a little article about it. 145 00:05:14,918 --> 00:05:16,851 And since you've asked, as survivor 146 00:05:16,853 --> 00:05:19,287 of a sexual encounter with a poor person, I-- 147 00:05:19,289 --> 00:05:20,722 If this trial continues, 148 00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:23,291 I will bathe myself in the blood of 12 pigs. 149 00:05:23,293 --> 00:05:26,428 And I will eat those 12 pigs, 150 00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:28,897 rub their guts on my body, 151 00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:31,232 and set myself on fire 152 00:05:31,234 --> 00:05:34,602 if Hamish is not freed by sundown 153 00:05:34,604 --> 00:05:36,905 to be my star lover. 154 00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:39,307 I was in the middle of a speech, gals. 155 00:05:39,309 --> 00:05:42,076 I realize you're all having a psychic love affair-- 156 00:05:42,078 --> 00:05:43,378 Girls, over here. Over here. 157 00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:44,579 What about me? 158 00:05:44,581 --> 00:05:46,080 Get out of the photo! 159 00:05:46,082 --> 00:05:47,649 They're my backup dancers. 160 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:50,285 There are so many desperate things happening here, 161 00:05:50,287 --> 00:05:52,754 it's hard to decide which is the worst. 162 00:05:52,756 --> 00:05:54,789 Oh! Oh. 163 00:05:54,791 --> 00:05:57,625 [women singing] 164 00:05:57,627 --> 00:05:59,427 [screams] 165 00:05:59,429 --> 00:06:02,597 Judge Henson, it's very... embarrassing 166 00:06:02,599 --> 00:06:05,733 that my employee is on trial for murder, 167 00:06:05,735 --> 00:06:08,002 so the quicker this goes away, the better. 168 00:06:08,004 --> 00:06:13,174 I have another idea how justice can prevail. 169 00:06:14,845 --> 00:06:16,978 According to Rhode Island state law, 170 00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:19,481 should no judge be present and qualified to try a case, 171 00:06:19,483 --> 00:06:21,749 any sworn federal officer may step in 172 00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:24,152 and act as judge. 173 00:06:24,154 --> 00:06:25,253 Ah! 174 00:06:25,255 --> 00:06:27,455 Oh, Papa, I love my new dress. 175 00:06:27,457 --> 00:06:30,091 Son, remember what we discussed. 176 00:06:30,093 --> 00:06:31,259 Mm-hmm. 177 00:06:31,261 --> 00:06:32,727 Well, with all due respect, Father, 178 00:06:32,729 --> 00:06:34,429 I am the selected official, 179 00:06:34,431 --> 00:06:38,099 and I will do whatever you say. 180 00:06:38,101 --> 00:06:40,969 Which is to declare a... 181 00:06:40,971 --> 00:06:42,136 Dogfight. 182 00:06:42,138 --> 00:06:44,672 - No, mistrial. - Yes, mistrial! 183 00:06:44,674 --> 00:06:47,642 Ooh, I love the feeling of this law hammer. 184 00:06:47,644 --> 00:06:48,676 What's it called? 185 00:06:48,678 --> 00:06:49,978 [sighs] 186 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,479 Who cares? I'm king of the lawyers. 187 00:06:51,481 --> 00:06:53,715 [laughs] Bye, Father. 188 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:58,052 [solemn orchestral music] 189 00:06:58,054 --> 00:06:59,954 [grunting] 190 00:06:59,956 --> 00:07:02,490 Well, if it isn't my betrayer. 191 00:07:02,492 --> 00:07:04,192 What do you want? 192 00:07:04,194 --> 00:07:07,762 I'm just here to do to you what you did to me. 193 00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,466 Oh. [chuckles] 194 00:07:11,468 --> 00:07:12,901 I'm gonna tell them about 195 00:07:12,903 --> 00:07:15,570 all the bad things you did to me 196 00:07:15,572 --> 00:07:19,741 and what a sad, sad girl that made me. 197 00:07:20,777 --> 00:07:22,577 And while I'm doing that, 198 00:07:22,579 --> 00:07:26,014 I want you think about all the reasons 199 00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:28,883 why you shouldn't have blackmailed me. 200 00:07:28,885 --> 00:07:30,985 Oh, well, at least I'll die 201 00:07:30,987 --> 00:07:32,921 being cranked by the best in the biz. 202 00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:36,724 Oh, ain't nothing crippled about that hand, is there? 203 00:07:36,726 --> 00:07:38,860 - Oh. - [coughs] 204 00:07:38,862 --> 00:07:40,395 Enjoy your blue balls. 205 00:07:40,397 --> 00:07:41,629 No, no, no, no. 206 00:07:41,631 --> 00:07:43,398 I hear they compliment a broken neck. 207 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,666 [yelps] 208 00:07:44,668 --> 00:07:46,100 No! Get back here! 209 00:07:46,102 --> 00:07:48,336 Oh, come on! Oh, come on! 210 00:07:48,338 --> 00:07:49,437 I need a release! 211 00:07:49,439 --> 00:07:51,573 Oh, God, please, 212 00:07:51,575 --> 00:07:53,541 if you can just grant me anything, 213 00:07:53,543 --> 00:07:55,677 help release me! 214 00:07:55,679 --> 00:07:59,147 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 215 00:08:01,017 --> 00:08:03,651 Wow. Thanks, God. 216 00:08:06,756 --> 00:08:08,156 [snoring] 217 00:08:13,737 --> 00:08:14,970 [clattering] 218 00:08:16,173 --> 00:08:17,639 All rise. 219 00:08:20,177 --> 00:08:23,011 Now sit down... if you're a sexual deviant. 220 00:08:23,013 --> 00:08:26,248 Oh! Twain. 221 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,250 [hip-hop music] 222 00:08:28,252 --> 00:08:31,119 damn, what I got to say to get a piece of that? 223 00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:33,789 damn, what I got to say to get a piece of that? 224 00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:36,158 damn, what I got to say to get a piece of that? 225 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,861 damn, what I got to say to get a piece of that? 226 00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:40,028 na-na, na-na 227 00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:41,530 Excuse me, sir. 228 00:08:41,532 --> 00:08:43,365 Charleton Wimbledon representing the state. 229 00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:45,701 Objection! Relevance? 230 00:08:45,703 --> 00:08:49,605 You're simply repeating legal terms you've heard before. 231 00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:50,973 Is that correct? 232 00:08:50,975 --> 00:08:52,307 Overruled! 233 00:08:52,309 --> 00:08:53,742 Yeah, that's what it sounded like. 234 00:08:53,744 --> 00:08:56,778 [clears throat] Mark Twain here. 235 00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:59,081 America's premier storyteller 236 00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:01,717 stepping up to the bar for the defense. 237 00:09:01,719 --> 00:09:05,721 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury-- 238 00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:07,656 Sorry. My mistake. 239 00:09:07,658 --> 00:09:10,626 Women aren't allowed to serve on juries. 240 00:09:10,628 --> 00:09:11,727 [laughter] 241 00:09:11,729 --> 00:09:16,098 My client may be a bad man. 242 00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:20,035 Hell, he may have even killed Scoops LePue! 243 00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:24,406 The state rests. 244 00:09:24,408 --> 00:09:26,108 Uh, you're not-- you're not the state. 245 00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:27,776 I'm the state. 246 00:09:27,778 --> 00:09:29,678 And you don't rest until the end of the trial. 247 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:30,812 Wanna bet? 248 00:09:30,814 --> 00:09:32,414 It's very disappointing. 249 00:09:32,416 --> 00:09:34,082 - Not a great lawyer. - No. 250 00:09:34,084 --> 00:09:35,450 No. 251 00:09:35,452 --> 00:09:37,185 It does me no great honor to tell you 252 00:09:37,187 --> 00:09:41,089 I indulged myself for the first and last time. 253 00:09:41,091 --> 00:09:44,593 One, uh, rahvay-olay. 254 00:09:44,595 --> 00:09:45,861 Ravioli? 255 00:09:45,863 --> 00:09:47,462 - Huh? - Ravioli. 256 00:09:47,464 --> 00:09:50,332 Yes, uh, medium rare, please. 257 00:09:50,334 --> 00:09:51,800 Prego. 258 00:09:51,802 --> 00:09:52,935 Thank you. 259 00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:54,703 I'm eating in a restaurant. 260 00:09:56,740 --> 00:09:59,141 Your Honor, I think it may be time 261 00:09:59,143 --> 00:10:00,809 for me to call my first witness. 262 00:10:00,811 --> 00:10:02,544 [clears throat] 263 00:10:02,546 --> 00:10:05,314 'Twas a cold October morning. 264 00:10:05,316 --> 00:10:07,182 The pumpkins were ripe then 265 00:10:07,184 --> 00:10:10,185 and pregnant with possibility, 266 00:10:10,187 --> 00:10:11,620 like my pregnant friend Carla. 267 00:10:11,622 --> 00:10:13,155 Poor Carla. 268 00:10:13,157 --> 00:10:16,625 Autumn had sprinkled itself throughout the land. 269 00:10:16,627 --> 00:10:18,327 It's really not her turn to speak. 270 00:10:18,329 --> 00:10:21,563 Order! It is not your turn to speak, Lillian. 271 00:10:21,565 --> 00:10:22,998 Thank you. 272 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,399 The state calls-- 273 00:10:24,401 --> 00:10:25,701 Oh. 274 00:10:25,703 --> 00:10:27,402 Lillian Bellacourt. 275 00:10:27,404 --> 00:10:31,173 [dainty classical music] 276 00:10:31,175 --> 00:10:34,409 Now, you've said that you and the defendant were lovers. 277 00:10:34,411 --> 00:10:36,378 Can a woman who has laid with a man 278 00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:37,980 who has trouble getting an erection 279 00:10:37,982 --> 00:10:39,848 truly be called that man's lover? 280 00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:42,818 That's not really what we're here to determine tod-- 281 00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,052 I am the victim here. 282 00:10:44,054 --> 00:10:46,021 - Traitor! - Curse you! 283 00:10:46,023 --> 00:10:51,093 You may have had his body, but we will have his soul! 284 00:10:51,095 --> 00:10:52,861 Your jealousy doesn't bother me. 285 00:10:52,863 --> 00:10:54,529 I own what you crave! 286 00:10:54,531 --> 00:10:56,231 Oh, fuck you! 287 00:10:56,233 --> 00:10:57,766 - You're okay with all that? - Order! 288 00:10:57,768 --> 00:10:59,334 They're not really with me. 289 00:10:59,336 --> 00:11:00,469 - Bitch! - Order! 290 00:11:00,471 --> 00:11:02,471 That bitch! 291 00:11:02,473 --> 00:11:06,408 If it please the court, I have to go number one. 292 00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:08,610 Beatrice, would you take over for me, please? 293 00:11:08,612 --> 00:11:10,012 - Take over? - Me? 294 00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:11,113 - Yes. - Oh! 295 00:11:11,115 --> 00:11:12,681 You can't just have someone-- 296 00:11:12,683 --> 00:11:14,182 I've never done anything like this before. 297 00:11:14,184 --> 00:11:15,951 That's not-- that's a problem. 298 00:11:15,953 --> 00:11:17,586 You can't just have anybody come up and be the judge. 299 00:11:17,588 --> 00:11:18,787 - What are you doing? - Here I go! 300 00:11:18,789 --> 00:11:20,922 I don't know. [giggles] 301 00:11:20,924 --> 00:11:22,224 Execute him. 302 00:11:22,226 --> 00:11:24,426 No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 303 00:11:24,428 --> 00:11:25,994 We're not there. We need to have a trial. 304 00:11:25,996 --> 00:11:27,229 Well, sorry. I'm not perfect. 305 00:11:27,231 --> 00:11:28,530 This is my first time. 306 00:11:28,532 --> 00:11:29,865 This is not even your first time, 307 00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:31,199 because you're not a judge. 308 00:11:31,201 --> 00:11:32,968 You're really hurting my feelings. 309 00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:34,803 I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt your feelings. 310 00:11:34,805 --> 00:11:35,871 You're forgiven. 311 00:11:35,873 --> 00:11:37,706 Lillian, you may continue. 312 00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:40,075 I don't know what I was talking about. 313 00:11:40,077 --> 00:11:41,943 [traditional Italian music] 314 00:11:41,945 --> 00:11:43,912 Uno raviolo. 315 00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:45,180 Ah, thank you. 316 00:11:48,085 --> 00:11:49,751 Yes, please. 317 00:11:52,589 --> 00:11:54,189 [inhales sharply] 318 00:11:55,492 --> 00:11:57,325 More. 319 00:11:59,296 --> 00:12:01,063 Yes. 320 00:12:01,065 --> 00:12:04,266 Yes. Yes. 321 00:12:04,268 --> 00:12:06,234 Yes. 322 00:12:06,236 --> 00:12:09,271 Yes. Yes. 323 00:12:09,273 --> 00:12:11,073 While I understand your point, 324 00:12:11,075 --> 00:12:14,142 I feel like murder should maybe be malum prohibitum 325 00:12:14,144 --> 00:12:15,911 instead of malum se. 326 00:12:15,913 --> 00:12:19,081 I don't think it's internally naturally an evil thing. 327 00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:22,584 Sometimes murder is justified, and maybe in Hamish's case, 328 00:12:22,586 --> 00:12:23,752 even though we know... 329 00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:26,121 - Beatrice? - Oh, yes. 330 00:12:26,123 --> 00:12:28,657 What were all those fancy words? 331 00:12:28,659 --> 00:12:29,825 What? 332 00:12:29,827 --> 00:12:32,094 Execute him. Bye. 333 00:12:32,096 --> 00:12:33,628 No, that was-- that was interesting. 334 00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:35,464 That was good. What she was saying was helpful. 335 00:12:35,466 --> 00:12:36,798 Order, order, order. 336 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,633 Okay, everyone, I have a little announcement. 337 00:12:38,635 --> 00:12:39,935 It was only number one, 338 00:12:39,937 --> 00:12:41,603 but I did it sitting down just in case. 339 00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:45,807 [clears throat] Anyway, I am back from my break. 340 00:12:45,809 --> 00:12:47,509 Oh, just in time for another break. 341 00:12:47,511 --> 00:12:49,444 If anyone needs me, I will be in my chamber, 342 00:12:49,446 --> 00:12:51,613 playing a solo game of Duck, Duck, Goose. 343 00:12:51,615 --> 00:12:54,216 [scattered conversations] 344 00:12:54,218 --> 00:12:56,685 [remixed classical music] 345 00:12:56,687 --> 00:12:58,753 [bell tolls] 346 00:13:00,924 --> 00:13:02,891 [bell tolls] 347 00:13:03,961 --> 00:13:05,026 Aye, missy! 348 00:13:05,028 --> 00:13:06,294 What are you doing up there? 349 00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:08,530 Who, me? Nothing. 350 00:13:08,532 --> 00:13:10,365 Darling, this ain't a maypole 351 00:13:10,367 --> 00:13:12,134 for you to be dancing around. 352 00:13:12,136 --> 00:13:14,536 This is a death machine. 353 00:13:14,538 --> 00:13:16,538 I just like it when people go poof 354 00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,640 and then they aren't there anymore. 355 00:13:18,642 --> 00:13:20,008 Oh. 356 00:13:20,010 --> 00:13:22,210 Well, you'd make a good police officer, 357 00:13:22,212 --> 00:13:23,245 wouldn't you? 358 00:13:23,247 --> 00:13:24,412 [chuckles] 359 00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:26,548 You want to try it on for size? 360 00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:27,883 Mm-hmm. 361 00:13:27,885 --> 00:13:30,886 Okay, well, you take the wonton criminal, 362 00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:33,522 and you put him up here like so. 363 00:13:33,524 --> 00:13:38,493 And then you take the noose, and you slip it over his head, 364 00:13:38,495 --> 00:13:42,164 making sure to make it nice and tight. 365 00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:45,534 And then you hang him until his eyes pop out of his head 366 00:13:45,536 --> 00:13:48,670 like cherry tomatoes in a day-old salad. 367 00:13:48,672 --> 00:13:50,105 Tighter. 368 00:13:50,107 --> 00:13:53,742 You know, it gets lonely down at the precinct. 369 00:13:53,744 --> 00:13:55,477 [gasping] Tighter. 370 00:13:55,479 --> 00:13:59,014 All right, even this is even weird for me. 371 00:13:59,016 --> 00:14:01,449 [gasping] 372 00:14:01,451 --> 00:14:03,351 - You okay? - Uh-uh. 373 00:14:03,353 --> 00:14:05,086 - Kelly, what are you doing? - Oy! 374 00:14:05,088 --> 00:14:09,791 You know you're not supposed to have women out here... 375 00:14:09,793 --> 00:14:11,426 without me. 376 00:14:11,428 --> 00:14:12,460 [laughs] 377 00:14:12,462 --> 00:14:13,461 Yeah, that's right. 378 00:14:13,463 --> 00:14:15,096 Right, bring her in. 379 00:14:15,098 --> 00:14:17,632 Ah, here you go, you wee sunflower, you. 380 00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:21,269 Yeah, give her a nice kiss there. 381 00:14:21,271 --> 00:14:23,138 [gasping] Kelly, she's dead! 382 00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,573 She's dead! Bring her back! 383 00:14:24,575 --> 00:14:25,740 - Bring her back. - Oh, no. 384 00:14:25,742 --> 00:14:27,075 - My goodness! - Oh, boy. 385 00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:29,110 Oh, I can't do this! Oh, my God! Okay! 386 00:14:29,112 --> 00:14:30,178 We-- 387 00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:31,346 [all laughing] 388 00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:34,730 I didn't know what to do. 389 00:14:34,732 --> 00:14:36,265 He came out Scoop's office with murder in his eyes. 390 00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:39,234 He held a knife up to my pregnant belly 391 00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:41,837 and said, "Woman, if you tell a soul, 392 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:45,307 I will cut your unborn baby out of you 393 00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:47,876 and hang it from the clock tower!" 394 00:14:47,878 --> 00:14:49,178 [crowd murmurs] 395 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,579 You monster. 396 00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:53,482 - He loves abortion. - No! 397 00:14:53,484 --> 00:14:55,751 He's always aborting this and aborting that. 398 00:14:55,753 --> 00:14:58,954 Anyway, I told him to leave me alone 399 00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:00,089 and I would never tell a soul. 400 00:15:00,091 --> 00:15:02,658 But that poor man. 401 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:07,262 That poor Scoops LePue. [crying] 402 00:15:07,264 --> 00:15:10,432 Your Honor, I know this is unorthodox, 403 00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:14,636 but I would like the opportunity to testify against my client. 404 00:15:14,638 --> 00:15:16,405 What? 405 00:15:16,407 --> 00:15:19,274 You've cost me my entire savings, 406 00:15:19,276 --> 00:15:21,844 but you were worth it, ravioli. 407 00:15:21,846 --> 00:15:24,813 What wonderful surprises await every bite 408 00:15:24,815 --> 00:15:27,282 of your mystery innards. 409 00:15:27,284 --> 00:15:28,784 Mmm! 410 00:15:28,786 --> 00:15:29,885 Waiter! 411 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,820 More Chianti. 412 00:15:31,822 --> 00:15:33,288 Will there be anything else? 413 00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:34,857 We are about to close. 414 00:15:34,859 --> 00:15:37,025 How long have I been here? 415 00:15:37,027 --> 00:15:39,795 Signore, you have been slicing that ravioli 416 00:15:39,797 --> 00:15:40,963 for almost three hours. 417 00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:42,397 Oh, my goodness. The trial. 418 00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,134 Thank you, Giuseppe. Arrivederci. 419 00:15:45,136 --> 00:15:46,568 Arrivederci. Grazie. 420 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:49,304 Mr. Peepers, go! Italia is behind you. 421 00:15:49,306 --> 00:15:51,440 Mr. Crassus, would you say 422 00:15:51,442 --> 00:15:54,276 that you're an angry person? 423 00:15:54,278 --> 00:15:56,211 No, I would say 424 00:15:56,213 --> 00:16:00,249 that I'm a very calm and happy man. 425 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:04,686 What if I were to call you a filthy, stupid, bearded idiot? 426 00:16:04,688 --> 00:16:06,388 You take that back, you pile of shit! 427 00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,590 I'll kill you while your whole family watches, 428 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:09,758 and then I'll kill them! 429 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,260 I've killed men for less! 430 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,028 Murder's my favorite! 431 00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:15,164 Oh! Oh! 432 00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:16,665 Damn it! 433 00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,834 I have no further questions. 434 00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:20,502 It's a joke. 435 00:16:20,504 --> 00:16:22,905 Well, I'm ready to render my "guilty" verdict. 436 00:16:22,907 --> 00:16:24,506 [suspenseful music] 437 00:16:24,508 --> 00:16:26,575 - Hamish is innocent! - [people gasp] 438 00:16:26,577 --> 00:16:28,744 He has an alibi! He can prove it! 439 00:16:28,746 --> 00:16:30,012 [breathing heavily] 440 00:16:30,014 --> 00:16:31,446 He's just protecting the woman 441 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:32,848 he's been having an affair with. 442 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:34,950 - Is it you? - I don't know. 443 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,052 - Her! - What? 444 00:16:37,054 --> 00:16:40,556 Martha, the-- the pig butcher's wife? 445 00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:41,890 I don't know that woman. 446 00:16:41,892 --> 00:16:44,860 Enough of this martyrdom, son! 447 00:16:44,862 --> 00:16:46,929 Your life is on the line! 448 00:16:46,931 --> 00:16:50,465 Just before the trial, he was telling me 449 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,434 what her... 450 00:16:52,436 --> 00:16:54,503 feminine parts looked like. 451 00:16:54,505 --> 00:16:56,305 Isn't that right? 452 00:16:57,575 --> 00:16:59,441 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 453 00:16:59,443 --> 00:17:01,410 Jeez, I, uh-- yes. 454 00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:03,912 I didn't want to say anything, but... 455 00:17:03,914 --> 00:17:06,181 we are having an affair. 456 00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:07,883 That's not true. 457 00:17:07,885 --> 00:17:09,985 I know just what her scrunchy looks like. 458 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,320 [laughs] 459 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:14,890 It's dark, and-- and puffy, yes. 460 00:17:14,892 --> 00:17:16,291 - Puffy? - Very puffy. 461 00:17:16,293 --> 00:17:19,428 And-- and thinly lipped, 462 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,697 like-- like carpaccio. 463 00:17:21,699 --> 00:17:23,599 [laughs] Yeah, yeah. 464 00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:28,637 It kind of resembles the coastline of New Hampshire. 465 00:17:28,639 --> 00:17:30,439 Well, is that true? 466 00:17:30,441 --> 00:17:32,407 Is that what your vagina looks like? 467 00:17:32,409 --> 00:17:34,810 Well, I don't know what my vagina looks like. 468 00:17:34,812 --> 00:17:36,411 I've never seen it. 469 00:17:36,413 --> 00:17:37,579 Oh! 470 00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,414 I've seen a pig's vagina. 471 00:17:39,416 --> 00:17:41,483 That's because we butcher pigs. 472 00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:45,254 And I've seen a dog's vagina before... 473 00:17:45,256 --> 00:17:47,689 - [gasps] - Just on the street. 474 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:50,392 Well, there's only one way to solve this mystery. 475 00:17:50,394 --> 00:17:51,660 Show us. 476 00:17:51,662 --> 00:17:53,028 I'll show mine. 477 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,429 It's tight and smells of chutney. 478 00:17:54,431 --> 00:17:55,931 Lillian, have some dignity. 479 00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:57,599 This is a court of law. 480 00:17:58,669 --> 00:17:59,968 Ma'am, please stand up 481 00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:02,070 and show everyone your vagina. 482 00:18:04,808 --> 00:18:07,776 If it pleases the court. 483 00:18:07,778 --> 00:18:09,645 That remains to be seen. 484 00:18:09,647 --> 00:18:12,648 [suspenseful music] 485 00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:20,589 486 00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:27,529 [triumphant music] 487 00:18:27,531 --> 00:18:31,667 I give you the coastline of New Hampshire! 488 00:18:31,669 --> 00:18:32,668 [squeals happily] 489 00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:34,002 490 00:18:34,004 --> 00:18:35,837 New Hampshire! 491 00:18:35,839 --> 00:18:38,707 Seems our problem has been solved. 492 00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:40,742 What? No! No, no, no. 493 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,244 You can't decide a trial 494 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,146 based on the shape of a woman's vagina. 495 00:18:44,148 --> 00:18:45,380 That's not an alibi. 496 00:18:45,382 --> 00:18:47,182 What is the matter with you people? 497 00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:48,684 The man is guilty! 498 00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:51,186 - This man is innocent! - [gasps] 499 00:18:51,188 --> 00:18:53,588 I killed Scoops LePue. 500 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:54,656 [both gasp] 501 00:18:57,728 --> 00:18:59,795 I killed Scoops LePue! 502 00:18:59,797 --> 00:19:01,430 No, no, I mean it. I really did. 503 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:02,731 I-- I killed him. 504 00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:04,666 I killed Scoops LePue. 505 00:19:04,668 --> 00:19:06,101 - [banging gavel] - Order! 506 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,170 And then I got his blood on my face. 507 00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:09,438 all: I killed Scoops LePue. 508 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,740 - I killed Scoops LePue! - Order! 509 00:19:11,742 --> 00:19:13,842 I killed Poops LeScue! 510 00:19:13,844 --> 00:19:15,477 I would have killed Scoops LePue. 511 00:19:15,479 --> 00:19:17,079 I was happy when he died. 512 00:19:17,081 --> 00:19:18,914 [all talking] 513 00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,216 I killed Scoops LePue. 514 00:19:21,218 --> 00:19:23,752 - What? - [silence] 515 00:19:23,754 --> 00:19:25,887 Oh, you did? 516 00:19:25,889 --> 00:19:27,055 Yeah, that works for me. 517 00:19:27,057 --> 00:19:28,156 Yeah, me too. 518 00:19:28,158 --> 00:19:29,725 I guess I didn't kill him. 519 00:19:29,727 --> 00:19:31,393 - Off we go. Come on. - Okay, here we go. 520 00:19:31,395 --> 00:19:33,061 No, I just got caught up in the moment. 521 00:19:33,063 --> 00:19:34,730 I thought this was a thing we were all doing. 522 00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:36,331 Sorry, you're coming with us. 523 00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,200 [laughing] 524 00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:40,135 I'm free! Ha ha! 525 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,904 I'm free! 526 00:19:42,906 --> 00:19:45,095 [triumphant music] _ 527 00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:47,617 Well, today was a complete waste. 528 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,286 Everyone ended up in the paper except me. 529 00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:50,754 "Hamish Crassus Not Guilty." 530 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,622 "Blonde Becomes the First Woman to Hold Gavel." 531 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,991 "Vagina Shaped Just Like New Hampshire." 532 00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:58,428 I mean, who the hell knows what New Hampshire's shaped like? 533 00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:06,469 [ominous music] 534 00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:14,110 535 00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:15,411 No! 536 00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:34,130 Will you eat with us? 537 00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,200 No, thanks. 538 00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:39,402 I have somewhere to be. 539 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:42,371 [light upbeat music] 540 00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:45,273 541 00:20:47,699 --> 00:20:49,753 Welcome home, Hamish. 542 00:20:49,754 --> 00:20:52,009 - Welcome home. - Thank you. 543 00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:53,853 Did I tell you guys that I learnt to read? 544 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:58,979 I did, I did. I learnt. 545 00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:00,100 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 546 00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:04,700 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37402

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