All language subtitles for Angel From Hell s01e13 Believe Me 2.eng

You are not an angel.

And you will never do
anything to make me believe

- that you are an angel.
- Look out! Bus!

(horn blaring)

(gasps)

I'm sorry.

Was there something you were saying

before I so rudely pushed
you out of the way

of a speeding bus, was hit by said bus

and survived without a scratch?

What was that?

It was something about there's
nothing I could do

that would ever make you believe that...

You're an angel?

That's it!

She said it, finally.

Halle-la-jah.

You mean �hallelujah�?

No, we pronounce it
differently up there.

Well, she's of sound mind and body.

Ha. Never thought I'd say that.

Still, you should go to the hospital,

have yourself checked out.

No-no, she can't be fine.

It-it's impossible.

The bus was going way too fast.

There's no way anyone could
walk away from that.

She's always drunk. Chances
are she just went limp

and ragdolled it under the bus.

- Mm-mm.
- People survive

crazy things all the time.

It's about two-thirds of YouTube.

Yeah, I can still do the snake.

Yeah, send her back.

I will not. Okay.

But I'm very grateful what
you did to protect Allison.

No, well, the only
thing I would ask in return

is that I get to use you at
some point in the future

as a character reference.

Sure, just let me
know when the trial is.

(laughs): Okay, oh, my
gosh, you're killing me.

Um, I happily accept your offer,

to be redeemed in the
future, in perpetuity,

no blackout dates.

Isn't every date a
blackout date for you?

Marv, I cannot remember a
single time I blacked out.

(chuckles)

I still don't know how you survived that

- without a scratch.
- I think you do.

And maybe it would help you

if you were to say it
one more time out loud.

Okay, uh, I think...

there's a possibility that...

that you're an angel.

Hello. We have a believer.

Halle-la-jah.

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Amy you decided on
bringing Gavin to the wedding?

I think it's too soon.
Might scare him off.

Ooh, then you'll be free to
sit next to Hank's best man, Egyed.

The Hungarian with the
sloppy five kiss hello?

That guy's like a frog
trying to catch flies on my face.

You'll get me back one day.

I was thinking of bring
Amy as my plus one.

Oh, my gosh! Yes! Yes!

And you got me back.

She's not going to wear
the vest, is she?

I will now, cowbell.

(whispers): She hears everything.

(whispering): I do.

So, two days out, how's the
mother of the bride doing?

Good.

I, um, did want to give you a heads up.

I'm bringing a date.

Oh, that's great. Who's the lucky guy?

I think I might've mentioned
him, my ex-boyfriend Raphael.

That's great. Yeah, and
I'm not just saying to you

that I think it's great and
then running off and saying

something different to
somebody else. I think it's great.

- It's a disaster.
- Catastrophe.

You can't show up alone now.

No, that's why I'm
thinking about bringing Brandi.

- You remember her?
- Flight attendant.

Favorite movie is Love Actually,
I got her phone number then

you slept with her the
night before Thanksgiving Brandi?

Yeah, rings a bell.

Okay, just, I don't want
it to be awkward for you.

Why would it be awkward?

It's great, Dad. And I'm not just saying

it's great and then
gonna go run a four-mile sprint

around the neighborhood to
work it out of my system.

I mean it, it's great.

Hi, Hank.

Oh, Brad, listen, I have something
important to ask you.

Anything, bro.

It's your wedding weekend.

My buddy, Lyle, he broke his
leg so he can't fly out

and I know it's short notice,

but do you think you
could fill in as a groomsman?

I was thinking more along the lines

of helping with these
boxes, but I could play the part

of one of your closest male
friends in the world.

Thank you. You just got to
walk people down the aisle,

take a few pictures. No big deal.

Great. Maybe that was Lyle's plan,

but I'm a full service groomsman,

with eight weddings under my cummerbund.

I do it all from
sheepdogging the drunk uncles

away from the bridesmaids

to calming the nerves of
the groom on the big weekend.

Don't need that. I'm only asking because

Kelly wants even
numbers for the photographs.

- You're nervous already.
- No, I'm not.

Which is what nervous people say.

It's also what people
say who are not nervous.

Don't stress out, man.
You're in good hands.

All right, now, how badly burned

do you want to get in the wedding toast?

We thinking like, �Oh,
Hank is so competitive at golf�

or more like, �Oh,
Hank had a pregnancy scare

with a Burmese prostitute�?

Symmetrical photographs equal
numbers on both sides.

That's it.

You're gonna be fine, buddy.

What should we do with
the rest of our day?

Eh, here's an idea.

- Now that you're a true believer...
- 51%.

Let's play a little game
I like to call Angel Says.

Angel says go talk to that guy.

He seems lonely.

All right.

Hello.

He owns tanning salons.

He's going to give me a
bunch of referrals.

I'm sorry, basal cell carcinomas
make me giddy.

(chuckles)

That guy's a jackpot.

- Angel says stand up.
- Hmm?

Thank you.

- Oh, I get it.
- Mm.

She needs a place to eat lunch.

- Oh, it feels good to help people.
- Mm-hmm.

(screams)

- It feels bad to fall down.
- Oh.

(laughs) Gosh, why is
it always so hilarious?

Here, let me help.

I got to say,

believing is a lot
more fun than doubting.

Oh, well, that is music

- to all four of my ears.
- Huh?

Our nips are wired for sound.

And now that you know I've
yet to steer you wrong,

do you agree to keep on following
all my angel commands?

Sure.

Fantastic.

Angel says help me break
up Kelly and Hank's wedding.

(gasps)

You want me to break up
my best friend's wedding?

Yes, I want you to break up

your second best friend's wedding.

Absolutely not.

I can't do that to Kelly.

Okay. Hey, you remember
that horrible feeling

you've always had about Hank,

that maybe he's
shady or hiding something?

My angel sources have
just confirmed you're right.

I knew it. What is he hiding?

Oh, I wish I could
tell you but that intel

is for high-level angels only.

You don't know, do you?

I'm a field angel.

Of course I don't know.

But I do know that
Kelly needs to be warned

- before it's too late.
- Hang on.

Why is Kelly
suddenly so important to you?

You don't even like her.

Shut your lying, wrong,
incorrect teeth mouth.

I love that goat.

No, you never do
anything unless it helps me.

So this is about me somehow, isn't it?

Allison, not everything is about you.

Angels care about all people,

even a known elder abuser like Kelly.

I'm sorry, that's just
what people are saying.

I love the girl.

I tried to warn Kelly about Hank

and it almost ruined our friendship.

But if Hank is hiding something,
Kelly deserves to know.

Look, I can't say
anything without proof.

So we just dangle him
off the roof, Batman style,

- until he squeals.
- Or...

we feel things out with
his friends and family

at the rehearsal dinner.

Angel says your plan blows.

- Huh?
- What?

I tried to get some dirt
on Hank from his relatives,

- and guess what.
- What?

There aren't any here.

- And you know what that means.
- Wh...?

(quietly): He ate them all.

That last was speculation.

(quietly): Or is it?

- KELLY: Allison.
- Hmm?

- You look so beautiful.
- So do you.

Amy.

What an incredible...
dedication to vests.

Thanks, kid. Hey,
this party kicks more ass

than you at a nursing home.

What? It's an expression.

So, where is Hank's family?

I want to say hi.

Hank doesn't have a
lot of really close friends

and both of his parents passed away.

Hey, can I ask how they died

and provide an alternate theory?

Hey, is that Hank talking
Hungarian with Egyed?

Yeah. He's fluent.

I just found this out recently.

Hank is full of surprises.

Or relatives.

- (speaking Hungarian)
- Ah, and so it begins,

my friend, the big
day before the big day.

Brad, this is Egyed. Egyed, Brad.

- Oh, hey.
- Oh. Oh, and great.

Three, four, five.

I was going to go in for
six, but all right.

Nice to meet you.

So, uh, how do you guys know each other?

We met at, uh, how do you say... prison.

- No.
- No. Starbucks.

- Yes.
- (laughing)

All right, cool crew. Loving the vibe.

Kind of bummed I
missed the bachelor party now.

Oh, you didn't miss a thing.

We didn't bother having one.

You didn't get a buck's night?

Oh, no. That's... You
know what? Hold on.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yep, I got it. Party's tonight.

Five hundy each, wear
your funniest hat...

Thanks, but, uh, I'd
rather just hit the sauna.

You know, go to bed early

so I'm nice and relaxed for

- tomorrow morning.
- Got it.

You got cold feet. Want to warm 'em up.

I'm in. Egyed, you in?

Eh...

(continues): Eh...

Is it... Does he not
know the word for yes?

No, no, just thought idea was, um,

eh...

- Marv.
- Hey.

Hi. I wanted to
introduce you to Raphael.

The fireman.

What a pleasure.

- You're from Brazil, right?
- That's right.

Great country. Giant Jesuses,

tiny bananas.

Stunning contrast.

RAPHAEL: Marv, watch your shoes.

Careful there.

Well, tough coming back from that.

Oh, excuse me.

Don't move.

Brandi.

BRANDI: Hi.

Hey, I couldn't find the restrooms.

Do you know where they are?

Hey, you're going to have to hold that.

- Come with me.
- Uh...

Oh, come on.

- Oh, there they are.
- Marv,

am I here just as arm candy

to make an ex of yours jealous?

What?

I'm sorry, I know it's petty.

That magnificent Latin American

just lifted me up out of a puddle.

Mm, tough to come back from that.

- Right?
- But we can try.

- Yes.
- Think this will work?

I'm sorry, I just blacked out a little.

Come again?

All right, me and my
boys are hitting the sauna.

Hey, do me a favor.

See what you can find out about Hank.

I feel like he's
hiding something from Kelly.

Mm-hmm. No can do. I'm a groomsman.

You want a rat in this wedding party,

hit up the ring bearer.

That little dude will do
anything for a gumball.

All right, let's go, boys.

Uh-uh, not you.

I mean, it is fishy, right?

I mean, Hank has no family here,

he tells zero personal stories.

We need proof and we're
running out of time.

Okay, hold on. I will be right back.

(pants) Hey, I'm back.

- What?
- Yeah, I paused time

and I stole a key to Hank's hotel
room from the front desk.

Really? You didn't
get that from the maid

you were chatting up earlier?

Uh, no, that is where I got this weed.

Keep moving, snitch.

Okay, listen, this is what we got to do.

We got to break into Hank's hotel room

while he's out with
Brad, maybe smoke this weed,

and figure out what he's hiding.

Okay, this is
getting a little too crazy.

Stopping time, breaking and entering,

stealing drugs from service workers.

- You need to come with me. Come on.
- What?

We can speak freely in here.

Corporate can't hear over water.

What is going on?

I need to break up this wedding because

your future depends on it.

I knew it was about me!

Of course it's about you.

- (water stops)
- It's always about you. Shoot.

Listen, I'm not supposed
to tell you any of this,

but this entire year, every single thing

that I have been teaching
you has been training.

For the Olympics.

The Olympics?

- Summer? Winter? Beer?
- No.

The Angel Olympics. And
just for the record,

we thought of that name way before
the Greeks did in 2004.

The first Olympics was
thousands of years ago.

Okay. Then we totally
stole it from them.

Each human has one year in their life

that becomes their critical year.

And how they face the
challenges at that crossroads

determines their whole future.

And, honey, next year

is your Angel Olympics.

Shoot!

So, so, this last year, uh,

when I got in a fight
with a baby, was punk'd

by an improv group, and I
killed my brother's guardian angel,

this wasn't my most critical year?

It's nothing compared
to what's coming up.

Honey, if you crush your Angel Olympics,

the rest of your life will be
nothing less than spectacular.

Oh, I'm talking professional
awards, a kick-ass family life,

and, best of all, picture
yourself onstage

with one of those
headset microphones, a smug look

on your face, gazing
out over a packed house,

- as you prepare to give your TED Talk.
- TED talk?

(gasps) O...

What happens if my Olympics go poorly?

Well, let's just say 14
cats and you're not the alpha.

- Oh, I hate cats.
- Oh, it's mutual.

So how does breaking up
Kelly and Hank's wedding

play into all of this?

Kelly is destined to be
integral in your life this year.

She's already my best friend.
How could she be more integral?

Listen, I'm a field angel. They
don't trust me with those details.

All I know is if Kelly marries Hank,

she won't be there for
you when you need her most,

and that could be devastating
for you. So,

do you believe or not?

I do.

I believe.

So let's break into
Hank's room and find out

- what he's hiding from Kelly.
- Yes!

Three amigos ridin' the cedar.

End of an era, huh? We're
droppin' like flies

out there, guys. (chuckles)

You are married, right, Egyed?

Back home, yes. Here, free.

- Like farkas.
- (chuckles) What's, uh...

- Wolf. Yeah.
- Ah.

Speaking of, uh, lone farkas-es,

what's up with that dude?

HANK: I don't know. He's been
like that since we got here.

Kind of worried about
him. He hasn't moved.

- Are you worried about him?
- No, not really.

I just feel like maybe
we should check on him.

- All right, I'll take a peek.
- Just check.

(clears throat) Excuse me, sir?

- Peek under the face towel.
- Yeah?

- (laughing): Oh!
- (Tag Team's �Whoomp!� playing)

Surprise sauna bachelor party!

Oh, my Isten!

- Incoming.
- Ah.

Oh. These are hot to the touch.

Yeah, I thought you'd get
to Beer Man sooner.

Kelly says that you went
to UCLA. Me, too.

Warm brewskis kind of reminds
you of a Bruins tailgate, huh?

- Oh, yeah.
- What year were you?

Uh, '99.

2000. Oh, man, you
remember Tom McNichols? Mmm.

Tom. Mm, no, I don't remember that guy.

No, that was the burger
joint everybody went to.

Right. Yeah, Tom McNich... Of course.

Yeah, yeah. I wasn't a big burger guy.

No? Well, then, uh,
you might not want to check

under that guy's towels.

Oh, my Isten!

Why didn't you and Linda work out?

Turns out we had nothing in common.

Not true. You were both picked
up by hot Brazilian men.

(chuckles) You're throwing
a lot of shade for arm candy.

Oh. Oh, um, two MacManuses, please.

Oh. A woman who knows
her scotch. If you love

the New York Mets, I'd ask
you to marry me right now.

Oh, my God. I love the Mets.
Yes, let's get married!

I can't believe this
is finally happening!

No, no, I was just...

I'm just kidding. I don't
know anything about sports,

and I don't want to get married.

I'm gonna need a minute.

Wow, wow.

We have been here for two seconds,

and you already have your
giant Toblerone fingerprints

all over this dresser.

Oh. I'll wipe it off.

- With these pants.
- Just stay focused

and help me find something useful.

Like his wallet?

Let's see if there's
any smoking guns in here.

Hmm. (gasps)

What is it?

- Oh, that's how I sneeze.
- Oh.

- (gasps)
- Bless you.

No, that was a gasp. I found something.

Thanks to my years of making
fake IDs for kids

who want to buy beer and
adults who want to play

in the Little League
World Series, I know a fake ID

when I see one.

- How can you tell?
- Allison, every single thing

is upside down.

(sighs)

Oh. Must have smoked a
little too much of the maid's weed.

(chuckles)

- (door opens)
- Oh.

(panting quietly)

(quietly): Do not eat those chips.

I'm not gonna eat them.

I'm just opening them.

Shh. Do not eat those chips.

I'm just going to eat
one to test its crunchiness.

And if it's not that bad,

I'm going to have the rest.

- (crunching)
- (groans)

It's really loud in my head.

- How does it sound to you?
- Stop it.

- HANK: Oh, what happened to my pants?
- Oh, crap.

Crap. What are we gonna do?

We make ourselves really big.

- That'll scare him off.
- That's for bears.

Uh, we'll make him drink a
glass of water really fast.

That's for hiccups.

Okay. I got it. Plan C.
I'm gonna angel kiss him

and then make him tell us the truth.

I just have to make
sure I dock my tongue solidly

on his brain stem.

Don't eat those chips.

- What are you doing here?
- Is this

not my hotel room? Well,

butter my jam.

- (gasping)
- Amy!

(grunts)

Kiss me.

- Get her off me!
- Okay!

Amy. Allison! What is going on here?!

I don't even know.

Allison, what are you doing in
here the night before our wedding?

I think the question is,
what are you doing in Hank's room

the night before the wedding?
I mean, scandalous.

Okay, what are you doing in Hank's room?

- Kelly, I can explain.
- Well, you better,

because I'm about to lose it.

- Uh, is everything okay?
- Okay, Kelly, look,

Amy found Hank's license,
and we're just worried...

Yeah, no, this isn't about Hank.
This is about Amy. I mean,

I don't know what weird
power she has over you, but...

Mark, can you please explain to
your daughter that this woman

- is bad news?
- Yeah, Mark,

what kind of a character reference
would you give me?

Well, I know on the
outside it's hard to believe

that these two would be
friends, but the fact of the matter is

Allison's had a very difficult year,

and Amy was there for her.

For our whole family.

I, uh, have an announcement.

What is your entire
family doing in this room?

Sorry, bro. I have to
turn in my boutonniere.

This man is not who he claims to be.

(gasps) Wow.

- No one says �God bless you� anymore?
- I thought something was amiss

when Hank didn't recognize the
most popular burger joint

at UCLA. So I did some diggin',

and I called a girl
that I used to date, Stacy.

Class of '99. She was a
senior, I was just a junior.

Older girls always liked me. Whatevs.

And I asked Stacy, �Had you ever heard

- of a Hank Peale?�
- Aren't there, like,

30,000 undergrad students at UCLA?

Thanks, story ruiner. So
Stacy says, �Aren't there, like,

30,000 undergrads at UCLA�"

And I went online and I checked.

And, sure enough, looking
up �Hank Peal�"

and �Henry Peale,�
neither went to UCLA in the 1990s.

This man is not who he claims to
be, and I dated a senior.

- And... he has a fake ID.
- That's your weed.

HANK: Fine!

(sighs)

I'm 51.

(gasping) What?

I'm not 38. I'm 51.

And I'm sorry, all right?

I lied on our first date, and
it just snowballed from there.

I mean, you know how
these things happen.

No, I don't.

He looks fantastic.

- So the ID was fake.
- Yeah. Wait, okay,

so if you lied about this,
what else did you lie about?

Nothin'.

Except I did take

that finance job in Budapest.

- And I'm originally from Canada.
- What?

We were gonna move to
Hungary? And you're Canadian?

I knew that's why he hated burgers.

- We have a lot to talk �aboot.�
- (groans)

See, Allison? She would not
have been there for you next year.

You know what, let's get out of here,

let Kelly and Hank talk this out.

Here's your fake ID,

- hoser.
- Thank you.

Good morning, everybody. So... Oh.

The Joker grin is
back. I take it you had

another good night with Brandi?

Oh, yeah. I'm a little concerned though.

I have to give some bad news
to a patient, and I'm worried

this won't be gone by
then. �I'm sorry, Bernie.

- It's inoperable.�
- I'd call him.

- ALLISON, AMY AND BRAD: Yeah.
- I should do it over the phone.

So, how's Kelly?

About the same as anyone
who just called off

their wedding, massively hungover.

She is sleeping it off in my room.

And for the record, that
penis was drawn on her shoulder

before I got here.

Well, I think this
is for the best anyway,

because she's way too good for Hank.

She's a special girl. She
deserves a special guy.

Thanks, Brad. That's really sweet.

You know what you
need? My hangover cure.

I'm gonna whip you up some
eggs and make you an Irish coffee.

- My hero.
- (chuckles)

Mmm. Yes. (chuckles)

Look at those two, getting
integral together.

Oh, my God, do they end up together?

Hey, I wish I could tell you, but
you just don't have the clearance.

- You don't know, do you?
- They tell me so little.

I want to show you something. Come here.

It's a, uh... a
little congratulations gift.

Because, uh, believing is a huge step,

and it should be celebrated.

- Aw, you shouldn't have.
- Eh.

(gasps) Oh, my God.

- Try it on.
- This is gonna be so great

- for my TED Talk. Mmm.
- TED Talk.

Thank you. For this and...

for everything you've done for
me over the last few months.

You've been a real...

angel. You're incredible,

Dr. Allison Fuller,

and you are gonna have
an amazing Olympic year.

(doorbell rings)

Hi.

My name is Steven Williams.
I'm looking for Amy Cass.

I-I saw her name in a police
bulletin about a bus accident,

and they gave me this address.

Do you know Amy?

Yeah.

I'm her husband.

Hey, Steve.

Things are about to get weird.

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